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1
00:00:01,330 --> 00:00:03,790
♪♪
2
00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:06,000
Okay, Harris should be here
any minute.
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,290
Remember,
she was just fired.
4
00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:09,830
Her college dreams
were crushed.
5
00:00:09,830 --> 00:00:11,330
And by moving back in,
6
00:00:11,330 --> 00:00:13,250
she's losing any shred
of independence.
7
00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:15,330
Oh, but don't make a huge deal
out of it.
8
00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:16,960
There's no reason to.
9
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,250
The kid had a rough break,
but she'll bounce back.
10
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:24,290
None of us ever have,
but I've seen it happen.
11
00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:26,460
I've seen it happen
in other families.
12
00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:29,460
Mostly on TV.
13
00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:33,170
I think we all agree
we should stop thinking
14
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:35,210
of her as lost
and hopeless.
15
00:00:35,210 --> 00:00:36,710
Let's start thinking
about her
16
00:00:36,710 --> 00:00:39,580
as free childcare
for my baby.
17
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:43,330
Uh, first, let me say
I appreciate you exploiting
18
00:00:43,330 --> 00:00:44,500
my suffering child,
19
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,330
but maybe you can give her
a day or two.
20
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,170
Please,
nobody say anything.
21
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:52,830
There she is!
22
00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:54,790
Now, you might not
realize this yet,
23
00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:57,170
but nobody learns
from their successes.
24
00:00:57,170 --> 00:00:59,250
You only learn
from failure.
25
00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:01,380
So when you pull yourself
out of this
26
00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,880
dark pit of despair,
27
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,790
you're gonna be
so much smarter.
28
00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:06,380
[ Chuckles ]
29
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:08,380
I mean, if.
30
00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:11,080
'Cause [chuckles]
some people don't make it.
31
00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:14,460
You can stop
right there, Jackie.
32
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:16,170
You pretty much
fixed her.
33
00:01:17,830 --> 00:01:19,120
You know what?
34
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,080
You are gonna make it.
35
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,920
You just need a purpose,
36
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,420
like helping others.
37
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,960
And who needs more help
than a baby?
38
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,960
[ Scoffs ] Oh, God.
39
00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:34,040
You know what?
40
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,000
I'm starting to think
that a lot of our failures
41
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,330
are because of what happens
right here.
42
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:48,120
♪♪
43
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:56,040
♪♪
44
00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:04,000
♪♪
45
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:12,120
♪♪
46
00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:19,380
"The Conners" is filmed
47
00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:20,580
in front of
a live studio audience.
48
00:02:20,580 --> 00:02:22,170
Damn it!
49
00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:26,290
Okay, there's no way
I can afford daycare.
50
00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:27,920
I thought Harris
would watch the baby
51
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:30,330
now that she's home,
but she won't get out of bed.
52
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,920
Let's tell her we
found her mattress
53
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,040
on the front lawn
after a tornado.
54
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,710
Maybe that'll get her out.
55
00:02:34,710 --> 00:02:38,880
I even put the crib
in her room.
56
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,540
But when she woke up,
she put it back in the hall.
57
00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:45,670
Why is this
all on Harris?
58
00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:47,460
I thought one of the big pluses
of the Lunch Box
59
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,500
was that you could bring
Beverly Rose to work.
60
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,710
I'm cool with it,
but it turns out nobody else
61
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:54,750
likes a teething, screaming
baby in a restaurant.
62
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:59,880
Look, I know you all are busy,
but I'm screwed here.
63
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,040
Does anybody have any ideas
how to help me?
64
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,500
I could take her to
the jobsite with me.
65
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,750
There's a Starbucks next door.
66
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:09,000
I could put a cup of coffee
and a laptop in front of her,
67
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,750
and apparently,
she can sit there all day.
68
00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:14,170
That's not helping.
69
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,710
Have you talked to
Emilio about this?
70
00:03:17,710 --> 00:03:19,920
He has family here.
Maybe they'd help out.
71
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,500
I don't know.
72
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:24,580
Emilio and I don't really have
a relationship.
73
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:27,250
Wouldn't it be weird to ask
his family for free childcare?
74
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:31,120
Well, it's better than sticking
her at the coffee place.
75
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,750
If the baby has
to use the bathroom,
76
00:03:32,750 --> 00:03:34,790
you know someone's gonna
steal that laptop.
77
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,880
Alright, here it goes.
[ Sighs ]
78
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,750
We're FaceTiming Daddy.
79
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,580
[ Beeping, chimes ]
80
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:45,920
Hey, Emilio!
81
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:46,920
Hey!
82
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,420
Hi, everyone.
83
00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:50,710
I bought something for
the baby I want to show you.
84
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:57,540
It says, "Forget about weed.
Legalize my daddy."
85
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,620
I appreciate it,
but I'm not sure
86
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,790
I want to be the face
of this movement.
87
00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:09,040
We wish you were here.
88
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,420
Look, I'm really struggling
to find someone
89
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,330
to take care of the baby
when I'm at work.
90
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:16,040
Jackie told me
you have family here.
91
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,460
Do you think
there's any chance
92
00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:18,790
that they could
help me out here?
93
00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:21,080
Uh, hola, Emilio.
Um...
94
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,120
Um...uh...
95
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,920
Um, what did she say?
96
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:41,500
Uh, she say that you were
"nerviosa" about my "familia."
97
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,170
There were lots of clues
in there.
98
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,880
My tías have been
watching the family's kids
99
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,170
at their house for years.
100
00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:49,830
I'm sure they would love
to help.
101
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:52,380
And having my family
involved would make me feel
102
00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:54,460
more like I'm part of
the baby's life.
103
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:57,710
Ohh. Wow.
104
00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:59,250
This could be great.
105
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:02,210
Um, but what if your aunts
don't like me?
106
00:05:02,210 --> 00:05:03,250
[ Scoffs ]
107
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,120
They will love you.
108
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:09,960
Just be sure to cover
your tattoo and wear a cross.
109
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,750
And if you want
to get your roots done,
110
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,790
that would be good, too.
111
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,880
♪♪
112
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,040
Hey, has Harris come out
of her room yet?
113
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,710
No, not since
I got here.
114
00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:27,080
She's been in her room
this whole time?
115
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,540
It's been like
three days.
116
00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:30,380
I just keep trying
to think of things
117
00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:32,710
that'll make her feel better,
but I can't.
118
00:05:32,710 --> 00:05:33,960
So I feel like
a bad mom.
119
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,330
No,
you're a good mom.
120
00:05:36,330 --> 00:05:37,790
I'll tell you
what a bad mom is.
121
00:05:37,790 --> 00:05:39,670
My mother told me to
go in a closet
122
00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:42,170
and not come out
until I was pretty.
123
00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:48,790
I was 4.
124
00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:52,080
And then she spent
the next five years saying,
125
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,960
"What are you
doing out here?"
126
00:05:56,170 --> 00:05:58,580
So you just go
and love on that girl
127
00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:00,750
because
life will beat you up,
128
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,920
and the only thing to protect
you against this cruel world
129
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,670
is a mother's love.
130
00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:08,120
I didn't have that,
and it's taken me years
131
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,960
to get this emotionally...
strong.
132
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,420
Um, Jackie, I only
have so much love to give,
133
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:23,750
and I kinda need to give it
to Harris.
134
00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:27,040
Just say I'm pretty.
135
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:34,040
Hey, pretty girl.
136
00:06:38,710 --> 00:06:40,290
Stop.
137
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,830
Look, I know what it's like
to be depressed.
138
00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:48,120
I haven't always been
this bubbly and carefree.
139
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:50,960
When I was a teenager,
140
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,000
I went through a really,
really dark period in my life.
141
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,170
Sorry, Mom.
I'm not a 14-year-old girl
142
00:06:56,170 --> 00:06:58,420
sad because Oasis broke up
for the third time.
143
00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:02,330
I'm 18, and I just had
my entire future wiped out.
144
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,710
[ Sighs ] Alright,
but we got to get you
145
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:05,960
out of this bed,
okay?
146
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,830
Let's get dressed
and do something fun.
147
00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:10,460
There's nothing
more depressing
148
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,670
than doing "something fun"
with your mom.
149
00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:15,580
Watch this.
150
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:18,040
We are gonna make
a prank call.
151
00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:21,920
My God, you're
really doing this.
152
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,290
Woman: Hello?
153
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:27,000
[ High-pitched voice ]
Is my mommy there?
154
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,080
Who is this?
155
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:33,580
My mommy left this number,
and she said she'd be there,
156
00:07:33,580 --> 00:07:37,120
and someone's trying
to get into the house.
157
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,080
Oh, my God, honey.
I'll call the police.
158
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,540
Where do you live?
159
00:07:40,540 --> 00:07:43,710
[ Deep voice ] In Hell!
160
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,880
[ Laughs ]
161
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,920
[ Chuckles ] Okay,
that was so weird
162
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,250
and needlessly cruel.
163
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,330
Now, if you think you can
do better, go for it.
164
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,040
I got it.
165
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,000
[ Phone keys tapping ]
166
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,710
Hello!
167
00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:05,750
This is WUPA 93.8,
168
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,710
Lanford's number-one
party station,
169
00:08:07,710 --> 00:08:11,420
and the Wupa Money Car is about
to drive by your location!
170
00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:13,540
Just run outside
right now and yell,
171
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:15,920
"I'm a money-loving fool!
Wupa!"
172
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,710
and you'll win $500!
173
00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:20,880
Oh, my God!
I never won anything!
174
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,460
I'm running out
to the car right now!
175
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:26,880
I'm a money-loving fool!
176
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,000
Wupa! Wupa!
177
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,080
[ Car horn blares ]
178
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,380
Okay.
179
00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:33,500
Okay.
180
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,000
I yelled,
but nobody gave me any money.
181
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,380
I think I missed it.
182
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:38,290
No, no, it's the next car.
Hurry up!
183
00:08:38,290 --> 00:08:40,880
Okay!
Still in the game!
184
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,620
I'm a money-loving fool!
185
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:43,670
Wupa!
186
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:45,290
[ Both laugh ]
187
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:49,250
I don't have anything to
really be nervous about, right?
188
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,790
Right.
Just be yourself.
189
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:51,750
Wait,
where's your cross?
190
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,540
Oh. Right.
191
00:09:05,790 --> 00:09:06,880
Hi! I'm Becky!
192
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,080
Becky! We know!
193
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,290
Come in.
194
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:11,880
Ohh. Oh.
195
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,670
Ohh-ho-ho!
196
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:15,960
Ohh!
197
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,620
She looks just
like Emilio!
198
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:20,960
But so skinny!
199
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,620
Where's the rest
of the baby?
200
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:26,500
Actually, Beverly Rose
is a very healthy baby.
201
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,330
She's in
the 50th percentile.
202
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:30,920
It's so nice to finally
meet you, Becky.
203
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,790
I am Emilio's Tía Elsie,
and this is my sister, Ruthie.
204
00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:36,460
It's nice
to meet you, too.
205
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:38,750
And, uh, this is
my Aunt Jackie.
Hi.
206
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:41,880
In science, 50th percentile --
it's right in the middle.
207
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,500
No, no, no, no.
208
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,040
Ahh.
209
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,670
This is a healthy baby.
210
00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,290
[ Chuckles ]
211
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,750
Gordito.
212
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:55,120
100 percentile.
213
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,920
[ Chuckles ]
I remember him
214
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,920
from "Ghostbusters" when
he destroyed New York.
215
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,500
[ Both laugh ]
216
00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:07,290
Anyway [sighs] I can't tell you
how much I appreciate this.
217
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:08,620
I've been working
double shifts,
218
00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:11,040
and I can't afford
daycare right now.
219
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,290
Um, this is
a miracle for me.
220
00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:17,500
I've been feeding her
every four hours.
221
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:18,880
Four hours?
222
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,380
Are you trying to get her
into a bikini?
223
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,120
But if you want to feed her
a little more, that's okay, too.
224
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,170
You obviously did a good job
with Emilio.
225
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,000
[ Chuckles ]
226
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:45,460
Eh.
227
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,040
Mm. [ Chuckles ]
228
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,670
Excuse me.
I don't speak Spanish.
229
00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:55,880
Oh, we were just talking
about putting
230
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,580
Beverly Rose
in Gordito's playpen.
231
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,000
Yeah, don't do that.
He might eat her.
232
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,000
Uh, we should go,
Becky.
233
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,170
Bye, sweetheart.
234
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:10,750
Mommy will be back.
235
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,120
Thanks
for everything.
236
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,460
I'm sorry.
237
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,880
It's just so hard
to leave her.
238
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,420
Beverly Rose is gonna
be okay, right?
239
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:25,960
Absolutely.
240
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,000
They seem
to love the baby.
241
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,080
But...?
242
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,420
They called you a
"horny old donkey
243
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,670
who bewitched Emilio
with her sex tricks,"
244
00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:38,540
and they called me
"a welfare lesbian."
245
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,750
What? Really?
246
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,710
Yeah.
What do you wanna do?
247
00:11:42,710 --> 00:11:44,830
What can I do?
248
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:47,000
I don't have any options.
249
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,210
I can't confront them.
250
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:50,750
I need their help
with the baby,
251
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:52,120
but I can't afford
anywhere else.
252
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,500
Okay. You're gonna be
okay coming here every day
253
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:57,290
and having them
talk crap about you like that?
254
00:11:57,290 --> 00:12:00,830
Um, you saw how
they love the baby.
255
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:02,380
That's what matters.
256
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:04,080
If they want to
call me an old slut,
257
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,080
then I'll just have
to deal with it.
258
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,250
Come on.
We gotta go to work.
259
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:11,380
Why does everybody
go to "lesbian"?
260
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:13,920
Is it the haircut
or just general vibe?
261
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,380
Come on,
you've seen everything.
262
00:12:21,380 --> 00:12:23,330
You're like a little old lady
at Chico's.
263
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:26,790
Come on! The place just opened,
and I want to look around!
264
00:12:26,790 --> 00:12:28,210
Oh, look!
265
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:30,120
A helmet
with a camera.
266
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,460
The family can
sit around every year
267
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,250
and watch how I died.
268
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:35,670
I-I gotta
get back to Harris.
269
00:12:35,670 --> 00:12:37,500
What are you worried about?
Harris is doing better.
270
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,880
Yeah, she's doing better
because I've been there
271
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:40,920
cheering her up.
272
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,330
She's so down that
she's letting me in.
273
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,380
I'm literally keeping
her aloft with cheese balls
274
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,830
and motherly love.
275
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,750
Hey, I reserve the right
to refuse service to anyone.
276
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,250
So screw off,
you old fart.
277
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,250
Well, I'll be damned!
278
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:57,120
Lord Tony!
279
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,000
Hey, good to see ya, Dan!
Huh?
280
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,210
[ Both chuckle ]
281
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:01,540
Wait. Lord Tony?
282
00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:03,120
That was his nickname
when we rode together
283
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,790
back in the day.
284
00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:06,710
Tony, this is
my daughter Darlene.
285
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,460
Oh, my God.
286
00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:10,540
This is Darlene?
287
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,750
I'd come over, and you'd
peek out from behind a wall
288
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,830
and start barking at me.
289
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:17,960
Well, yeah, you looked like
a crazy person.
290
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,620
I was protecting
my family.
291
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:22,830
So, Dan,
you still ridin'?
292
00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,210
Not as much
as I'd like to.
293
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:25,620
It's tough in the winter
294
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:28,210
because I'm on blood thinners
and I get cold.
295
00:13:28,210 --> 00:13:30,170
But once it gets up
to 80 or 90,
296
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:33,250
I just throw on a sweater
and hit the highway.
297
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,920
You look like you're doing
pretty well here.
298
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,920
I am. I just need
to hire some help.
299
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,170
You got any free time?
300
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:41,790
Yeah, I do, but this isn't
what I want to do with it.
301
00:13:41,790 --> 00:13:44,790
On the other hand,
I do have a granddaughter
302
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:47,330
that just got off
her retail gig.
303
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:50,500
She could use a job,
and I think she'd dig this.
304
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,500
What do you think,
Darlene?
305
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,000
Um, I think, uh --
306
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,580
I think I should
go home and ask her.
307
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,460
Cool. The sooner she calls,
the better.
308
00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:59,920
Lord Tony?
Yep?
309
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,210
How much
for these glasses?
310
00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:04,960
Those aren't
really for riding.
311
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,580
You can only see
straight ahead.
312
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,330
That's perfect!
313
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:09,960
I just want to use them
to block out my family
314
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,670
while I focus on the TV.
315
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,540
Hey.
316
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:18,000
Check it out.
317
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,960
Harris isn't lying in bed
anymore.
318
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,080
She's lying
on the couch.
319
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:27,000
You know...it's kinda nice
having her around again.
320
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,380
Hmm.
321
00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:30,120
Yeah, it is.
322
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,080
Hey, you got a minute?
323
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,330
Uh, yeah, a minute.
What's up?
324
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,330
Emilio's aunts.
325
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:38,920
They love Beverly Rose.
They don't like me.
326
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,330
Hmm.
327
00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:41,620
I know my reasons.
What are theirs?
328
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:47,830
They think I'm trapping him
with my sex tricks.
329
00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:49,080
You got tricks?
330
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,000
Why aren't we talking
about that?
331
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,040
I don't have tricks!
332
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,290
Emilio and I were both drunk.
We made a baby.
333
00:14:57,290 --> 00:15:00,170
And now his tías
are only blaming me for it.
334
00:15:00,170 --> 00:15:02,710
They called me
a "horny old donkey."
335
00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:06,830
You should never have
told me that.
336
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:10,250
I'm trying to make
these women like me.
337
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,540
If Emilio was here,
338
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,670
he could stop them
from treating me that way.
339
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:15,290
Yeah,
I'm on my own, too.
340
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,790
David lives like
five minutes away,
341
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,080
and I'm still dealing with
Harris's problems by myself.
342
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,620
How did we both wind up
raising kids alone?
343
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:26,710
I'm an alcoholic,
and you married a loser.
344
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:28,580
Yeah, I was hoping
for something
345
00:15:28,580 --> 00:15:30,040
a little more uplifting.
346
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,460
Hey, Harris,
347
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,330
there's something
I got to talk to you about.
348
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:39,290
Sit down. "Crossroads"
with Britney Spears is on.
349
00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:41,250
It's about her having sex
for the first time.
350
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:44,920
It's the worst movie ever made.
We have to watch it.
351
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,120
Get under the tent with me,
like when I was little.
352
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,750
[ Chuckling ] Ohh.
353
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,580
Um, I'm really
enjoying this,
354
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:54,670
but we got to get you
back out in the real world.
355
00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:55,670
Can't do it.
356
00:15:55,670 --> 00:15:57,120
Can't leave this island
357
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,790
because we're surrounded
by hot lava.
358
00:15:58,790 --> 00:15:59,880
Quick,
lift up your feet!
359
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,000
Ooh!
That was close!
360
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:06,000
Hey, thanks for
helping me through this.
361
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,210
I love you, mom.
362
00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:10,120
And?
363
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,500
Oh, I love you, too,
honey.
364
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,040
I'm sorry.
I was in shock.
365
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,750
Oh, hey, uh, Grandpa
mentioned something
366
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,330
you wanted to tell me about --
some new bike shop you went to?
367
00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:28,000
Shh. Britney's confusing
sex with love.
368
00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:37,210
Hey.
369
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:38,710
I'm making chocolate-chip
pancakes for Harris.
370
00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:40,040
You want one?
371
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,330
They're supposed
to be smiley faces,
372
00:16:41,330 --> 00:16:42,460
but the chocolate melted,
373
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,380
so they look like
Alice Cooper.
374
00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,960
I just got off the phone
with Tony.
375
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,080
Harris never showed up.
It's been two days.
376
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,790
What the hell is
going on with her?
377
00:16:51,790 --> 00:16:55,710
Oh, um...it's not
entirely her fault.
378
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,120
I-I didn't tell her.
379
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,620
Why not?
380
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:00,790
She's not ready
to go back to work yet.
381
00:17:00,790 --> 00:17:02,330
Says who?
382
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:04,080
The whole reason
she's depressed
383
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,120
is because she got fired
and doesn't have a job.
384
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,170
No, it's deeper
than that.
385
00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:09,880
She had to grow up
way too fast,
386
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,210
she got kicked in the teeth,
and now she needs a break.
387
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:15,920
Aw, Darlene, she grew up
way too fast for you.
388
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,420
You're still trying to hang on
to your little girl.
389
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,500
There's nothing wrong
with nurturing your kids
390
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,920
once in a while
when they're hurting.
391
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,920
I mean, Jackie
told me to love on her.
392
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:28,120
Oh, well, Jackie --
the picture of mental health.
393
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,330
She's a person
to listen to.
394
00:17:30,330 --> 00:17:32,460
Did you have to tell her
she was pretty?
395
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,420
That was a lucky guess.
396
00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:39,330
Honey, honey.
397
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:41,290
The kid freaked out
because she has no way
398
00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:42,960
to support herself.
399
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,880
If you really want
to help her,
400
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,040
give her a reason to get out
of bed in the morning.
401
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,210
Let Harris decide
what she's ready for.
402
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:53,750
Fine.
403
00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:57,210
Oh, but just
admit one thing.
404
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,620
You were really happy
when Becky and I came home
405
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,580
and you had your
little girls back again.
406
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,250
Yes.
407
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,420
I would have hated to miss
the developmental changes
408
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:08,420
that happen between
the ages of 43 and 45.
409
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:16,580
So, listen, uh, I felt
a little tension between us.
410
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:20,580
[ Door closes ]
It made me nerviosa.
411
00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:24,120
So I made you this photo album
from when she was born.
412
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,210
Now, keep in mind she's tiny
because she was premature,
413
00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:30,040
not because
I was starving her.
414
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,830
There's no tension.
But thank you.
415
00:18:32,830 --> 00:18:35,330
Ay, la cochina está --
está tratando de --
416
00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:37,460
Okay, let's get this
out in the open.
417
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:39,500
I worked in
a Mexican restaurant,
418
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:42,710
so I know that "cochina"
means "slut."
419
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:44,960
And my Aunt Jackie
is fluent in Spanish,
420
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,880
so she told me everything
you said about me.
421
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,000
The lesbian
speaks Spanish!
422
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:54,830
She's not a lesbian.
It's just the haircut.
423
00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:57,380
And I am not a cochina!
424
00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:59,420
I don't know
why you're judging me,
425
00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:02,290
but I don't deserve it, and
I'm not gonna put up with it.
426
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,250
If you can't
treat me with respect,
427
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:06,120
I can't bring
my baby here.
428
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,790
Of course.
You're gonna make the baby
429
00:19:07,790 --> 00:19:10,670
disappear from our lives like
you made Emilio disappear.
430
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,380
What are you
talking about?
431
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,880
Emilio got deported
because of you.
432
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,500
I had nothing to do with that.
Is that what he told you?
433
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,790
No. He's too nice.
434
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:22,540
He would never say
anything bad about you.
435
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:24,330
But we know.
Hmm.
436
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,880
What do you know?
437
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,380
He was taken by ICE.
438
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,210
Yes, because you make
him work extra hours
439
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,790
so he could give you money
for the baby.
440
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,460
He had two extra jobs,
441
00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:36,500
and one of them was
where they got him.
442
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,290
I didn't tell him
to take an extra job.
443
00:19:38,290 --> 00:19:39,920
That was his idea.
444
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,790
And I would never
do anything to hurt Emilio.
445
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:46,290
You took the money.
You knew he was undocumented.
446
00:19:46,290 --> 00:19:48,750
If you had thought for
a minute about his situation,
447
00:19:48,750 --> 00:19:50,210
you would have realized
448
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,580
that you were putting him
in danger.
449
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:54,080
Do you think I like
not having Emilio here
450
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,830
to help me with my baby?
451
00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:58,080
Then why don't you
help him get back?
452
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,710
How am I supposed
to do that?
453
00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:01,790
Go to Mexico
and marry him.
454
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:03,620
At least then he'll
have a chance
455
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,830
to come back here
in a year or two.
456
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,960
I didn't know that
was a possibility.
457
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,710
Hmm.
You're white.
458
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,830
Anything's a possibility.
459
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,960
He would never
pressure you,
460
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,000
but we will.
461
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:22,330
So, what are you
going to do?
462
00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:23,330
Mm-hmm.
463
00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:25,790
Uh...hold on.
464
00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,460
I don't know.
465
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,500
This is a lot.
466
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,210
I'm gonna go.
467
00:20:30,210 --> 00:20:31,750
You need to work.
468
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:33,120
We love the baby.
469
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:35,000
Leave her here.
470
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000
You know we'll take
good care of her.
471
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,790
[ Sighs ]
472
00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:41,420
Okay.
473
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:42,710
[ Both sigh ]
474
00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:44,540
And just so you know,
475
00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:47,080
we would have never said
those hateful things about you
476
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,120
if we thought
you understood them.
477
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:58,080
Hey. In honor of my new job
and my 30% discount,
478
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,750
I say we all get
a family tattoo.
479
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:01,080
Yes!
480
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,790
Something that represents
who we are.
481
00:21:02,790 --> 00:21:04,790
Something that says
"Conner."
482
00:21:04,790 --> 00:21:06,420
Here's a sinking ship.
483
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:09,580
Doesn't get more
Conner than that.
484
00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:12,580
The house on fire
seems appropriate.
485
00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:16,040
A mushroom cloud
kinda says "us."
486
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,460
Hey, thank you so much
for finding me this job.
487
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:21,290
Yeah, your grandfather thought
you needed more time off,
488
00:21:21,290 --> 00:21:22,330
but I knew you needed
to get back to work.
34717
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