Original subtitles

♪♪

Guys, guys, you won't believe what I just heard.

The school is getting a photo booth with props.

Now I just need a dress that goes with a top hat and a mustache.

This is gonna be the best first middle school dance ever.

(all screaming)

Where's Julia?

She's the head of the dance committee.

She should hear this.

Oh, she's in the library crying,

because she heard that Justin's asking Lizzie to the dance instead of her.

Wait, Lizzie?

I heard that Justin was gonna ask Olive.

Me, Olive?

How's the wire situation down there?

Who cares? Justin's asking me to the dance.

(phone chimes)

Oh, sorry, Olive. He just asked Molly.

But in happier news, Sam's asking Emmy.

He is?

But Anthony's asking Sophia.

He is?

But Anthony hates Sam. And I don't like either of them.

(phone chimes)

Whoa. Hold up.

Ned's asking Syd.

Me? Ned?

He's cute. But in an awkward kind of way.

But that's what makes him so cute. (laughs)

(phone chimes)

Oops. Ned's out. He's asking Maria.

Well, that was a fast date.

‐This is all so crazy. ‐Yeah.

Who can think about clearing emergency exits

when hearts are breaking left and right?

I hate all this date drama.

Wouldn't the dance be way more fun without it?

You're right. It's our first dance ever.

It shouldn't be this stressful.

I don't want to be crying in the library.

I don't even like the library when I'm not crying.

Let's make a pact. The four of us will go together.

‐No dates. ‐No drama.

But still cute dresses?

Duh. We're not animals.

Four amigas ?

‐All: Four amigas ! ‐Let's finish these flowers.

Shoot. I forgot the tissue paper in my locker. BRB.

Sydney.

‐Hi. ‐Oh. Ned. Hey.

Hi. I mean,

I already said that. But I meant it.

Cool. I'm just gonna stick with the one "hey."

You know, Friday there's gonna be,

you know, like, a dance.

I mean, not like a dance. There is a dance.

And some people are going.

Some of them together, like a date.

I mean, not like a date. A date.

Come on, Ned.

Ned, you okay?

(softly): Okay.

Sydney Reynolds, will you go to the dance with...

me?

‐Yes! ‐You would?

Thank you. I mean, you're welcome. I mean‐‐

This is gonna be awesome.

(locker shuts)

Syd, what's going on?

‐(locker slams) ‐Nothing.

(theme music playing)

♪ Like father, like daughter, we don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change, the more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter, from different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best from your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪♪

Wow, Grandma. You're waking up at 4:00 p. m.?

You really are a college kid.

No. I actually had to wear this to school.

And the post office. And the bank.

My sorority calls it "Spirit Week."

I call it, "Who's the Freak in the Supermarket Week."

Oh. Where'd those come from?

A boy. Ned. He asked me to the dance.

OMG. Your first dance‐posal.

Okay, this Ned. Dish.

Well, he's smart. And funny.

But not like the "ha ha" funny.

More like the, "Hmm. That's funny," funny.

Wow. I can't believe you're going to a dance.

With a date!

Date?

I'm not ready. I mean, you're not ready,

I mean, what date?

Well, this boy asked me to the dance, and I said yes,

but I made a pact with my friends to go without dates,

and oy vey, what have I done?

Syd, if this is what you really want,

you have the right to change your mind.

Well, I do wanna go with Ned. I like him. He's nice.

Then you just have to be honest with your friends.

And you know what? I have to be honest with mine.

But first I gotta take a nap.

These jam‐jams got me ty‐ty.

Well, I look forward to meeting Ned at the dance.

What? You're gonna be at the dance?

Yeah. Didn't I tell you? I'm chaperoning.

‐Since when? ‐About 30 seconds ago,

when I heard the word "date."

Wow. You know, I still remember my first school dance.

'Sup, Skater?

'Sup, Soccer?

How was the game yesterday?

I scored a hat trick, and we crushed. How was the park?

I landed a 360 kickflip.

But I ate dirt. So I guess you win some...

You bruise some.

Gotta get to practice, but I'll see you later, Skater.

See ya‐‐ Shoot. Nothing rhymes with "soccer."

Locker, rocker, knocker.

‐Words aren't my thing. ‐Shocker!

Well, dancin' is my thing.

I'm already practicing for the big dance.

I can't wait to teach the Cabbage Patch who's boss.

FYI...

It's me.

Guess what? I have a date.

A real girl said yes. To the Rob‐ster!

Congrats.

Thanks. I'm gonna go throw up.

Robbie has a date?

But I do everything before him.

I whistled before him.

I could burp the alphabet before him.

You know what? We need dates.

You do. I'm going solo.

It would be selfish to waste all these moves on just one girl.

Gotta spread the love.

Forgot my shin guards.

I'll ask Lauren. She's kind of a girl.

Wait.

What are you planning on saying?

I don't know. Something like, "You. Me. Dance?"

Seriously, Max. You're gonna crash and burn.

Good point. I'll add a "'Sup?"

You're gonna be the oldest single man in history.

Guys, how should I do my hair for the dance?

Ooh. I say high pony.

I think your forehead could pull it off.

Syd, what's your hair vision?

I need inspo.

Oh, I was thinking I might do a slight wave,

pull the front pieces back.

Ned asked me to the dance. I said yes.

And maybe a floral clip?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back it up to the Ned part.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I was caught off guard.

And I do kind of actually wanna go with him.

But we made a pact. No dates.

It was your idea.

I can't believe you would go back on a pact that...

...was really more of a loose agreement.

Oh, no. Now you, too? Who asked you?

‐Bryce. ‐But you're gonna tell him no, right?

Why? Sydney didn't.

If Sydney didn't jump off a bridge, would you not‐‐

Wait. Come back to me.

Well, if you guys have dates, Derek,

go to the dance with me?

‐Do I have to do anything? ‐No.

'Kay.

Great.

Now everyone has a date but me.

I'm so sorry, Olive. I didn't know this was gonna happen.

I know you didn't.

Emmy: Wait.

Did I just ask Derek to the dance?

♪♪

♪♪

You really think you can help me land this date with Lauren?

Max, I helped my uncle land his second wife.

And let me tell you, he does not have my looks.

Look, it's simple. You make eye contact and use her name.

"Hi, Lauren. Lauren, you look lovely, Lauren."

‐Well, her name's Lauren, so that should help. ‐(door opens)

Who's Lauren?

The girl Max is asking to the dance.

Uh, I'm only asking someone to the dance because Robbie has a date.

Robbie has a date before you?

But you always do everything first.

You even got ringworm before him.

I know. I gave it to him!

How are you planning on asking her?

Do you want any pointers from a woman?

You're not a woman. You're my mom.

Max, here's my advice.

Just be sincere, really listen to her,

and speak from your heart.

(both cackling)

Oh, you don't know anything about girls.

Why would that ever work?

I'm sorry, Lauren. I tried.

Syd, I got your text about the dance.

‐What's the plan? ‐Okay.

I've put together a list of possible date options for you,

based on availability,

compatibility, and dance ability.

‐Aw, you're the best. ‐Thanks. Now, let's get started.

Uh, Joe T.

He smells like soup.

Uh, okay. Uh, Tommy G.?

Uh‐uh. Ends every sentence with, "You know what I mean?"

And I always know what he means.

Here. Just tell me if anyone on this list works for you.

Too basic. Too extra.

Thinks he's basic, but is actually extra.

I don't know why this is so hard.

I'm very easy to get along with.

Oh. Wait. Here's one.

Carlos J.

Carlos and Olive?

‐I love the sound of Carlos and‐‐ ‐(phone chimes)

You know what? I've never really liked Carlos.

‐He asked someone else? ‐Yeah.

It's okay, Syd. I'm just not gonna go to the dance.

What? No. You can't miss the dance.

Look, everyone else has dates,

and I don't really want to stand in a corner talking to myself.

‐But Olive‐‐ ‐I'm fine.

Really.

Ahoy, there, Grandma. Is this for your sorority,

or did you get a job at a seafood restaurant?

I thought you were gonna tell your sorority sisters no more costumes.

I was going to, but then they started singing our sorority song.

♪ Kappa, Delta, Alpha, Zeta ♪

♪ Get some spirit, or see you late‐a ♪

You were right to stick with your friends, Grandma.

I should have stuck with mine, too.

And now Olive is the only one without a date to the dance.

Oh, no. What are you gonna do?

The right thing. I'll just tell Ned

that I'm staying home with Olive.

‐I'm sorry, noodle. ‐Thanks, Grandma.

Y'aaaar welcome!

Sorry. I gotta get out of this costume.

There she is.

Okay. Show time, Romeo.

And remember, eye contact, and use her name.

Got it.

Oh. Hey, Skater.

Hello, Lauren.

Nice to see you, Lauren.

I like the name Lauren, Lauren.

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

And you're Lauren.

Lauren.

‐This is weird. I'm gonna go. ‐(locker slams)

Uh, wait, wait, wait. (sighs)

You. Me. Dance?

Sick. Love to.

Hey, Ned. You got a minute?

Actually, I have two minutes,

because that's when class starts.

For both of us. So we both have two minutes.

Now less. Quiet, Ned.

Yeah, so, about the dance.

I'm really sorry, but I can't go with you anymore.

You see, I need to stay home with my friend.

This is about me, isn't it?

You just don't want to go with me.

No, no, I really want to go with you.

Yeah. Sure.

No, you see, my friend just had...

toe surgery.

Toe surgery?

Actually, three toes.

I'm not allowed to explain anymore,

but let's just say that those little piggies

may never go to the market again.

You're right. You should stay with your friend.

‐Thanks for understanding. ‐It's okay.

Look, Olive, I've made a decision,

and I'm not letting you stay home alone.

You don't have to. I got a date.

‐What? ‐Yeah. Joe T. asked me,

and he smelled like corn chowder this time,

which is my favorite kind of soup.

Now we all have dates.

Syd, what happened?

I heard you told Ned you're not going with him.

Already? It's been, like, 30 seconds.

Wait. You're not going with Ned anymore?

No, I was planning on staying home with you.

Oh. You're the best friend in the world.

But, Syd, what are you gonna do?

You're the only one without a date.

There's Ned. I'll just tell him that I can go now.

Hey, Ned. (chuckles)

Funny story.

Turns out I can go to the dance.

My friend made a miraculous recovery.

She did? How?

Oh. How.

Um, she's got this great doctor

from the Swedish Foot Institute.

And you know, with 3‐D printing and overnight shipping,

it's like, bam, new toes.

Well, that's great, Sydney,

but I already asked somebody else.

What? Already?

Sorry, Sydney.

So, you going to the dance with Ned?

Looks like I'm not going to the dance at all.

♪♪

♪♪

What's this I hear about you not going to the dance?

Oh, don't worry. I'm gonna have my own dance right here.

Whoop‐whoop! Whoop‐whoop!

Whoop‐whoop.

Well, that's the idea.

But Syd, you were so excited. What changed?

It's just that I'm the only one of my friends without a date,

so it seems pointless to go.

Pointless?

Is my daughter, Sydney Reynolds, really saying

that life without a boy is pointless?

No, that's not what I meant.

Because the strong, independent Syd I know

would never let a dude hold her back

from what she really wants.

‐You're right, Dad. Who needs boys? ‐Not me.

‐Who needs to do what all their friends are doing? ‐Not you.

Who's gonna stand up and proudly say that I'm going to the dance alone?

‐We both are. ‐Huh?

Oh, I'm still gonna chaperone.

Now we can hang out the whole dance.

Whoop‐whoop. Whoop‐whoop.

Yeah, please don't make this worse than it already is.

(dance music playing)

Wow, Syd.

I can't believe you almost missed this.

‐I'm so happy you didn't. ‐Me, too.

Plus, now I can be your personal paparazzi all night.

Aw, Syd, you don't have to.

Just remember, from above, angle down.

My best filter is Olympia, but tag it "no filter."

Can you believe it? We're actually here.

Our first dance.

With boys. (giggling)

In attendance.

It's okay. I'm fine.

(all gasping)

Go get 'em, ladies.

‐Hi. ‐Hello.

Enchante.

‐What's up? ‐Yo.

What it is.

♪ But now no one can save me ♪

♪ I‐I‐I‐I lose control... ♪

Hey, Ned. So, where's your date?

Oh, she's, uh... Uh...

I don't have one.

What? Then why did you say that you did?

I was scared you'd bail on me again.

Yeah. I get that.

So...

Here we are.

Both of us.

At a dance.

Without dates.

Yep.

‐I mean, we might as well‐‐ ‐Leave?

I was gonna say dance.

Oh, right.

Get it together, Ned.

♪ You got me ♪

♪ I‐I‐I‐I... ♪

First time chaperoning?

Yep. It was this or the bake sale,

and it's just too much work re‐wrapping everything

‐to look homemade. ‐(laughs)

Well, I just hope our kids' first dance goes better than mine did.

(dance music playing)

♪ Tonight I like how I'm feelin' ♪

♪ Tonight is gonna be good, good time ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, I can't stop the feelin' ♪

Just one second, ladies. Gotta hydrate.

All: Aw!

♪♪

Here you go, buddy.

Thanks. Aah! A spider!

Ha! It's fake. Gotcha.

Lauren's gonna love that one.

Look. My date.

She actually showed.

Wait. You can see her, too, right?

Where is Lauren already?

Please don't say she's standing me up.

No. She's right over there.

And she looks amazing.

Where? I don't see her.

Max, you're looking right at her.

Oh, no, Leo. That can't be Lauren.

That's a woman.

I'm just a boy. I brought a fake spider!

Quick. Dance me out.

You got it.

I hate to admit it, but at my first dance,

I actually stood up my date.

I know. That was me.

Wait, you're Soccer?

'Sup, Skater?

I am so, so sorry about that night.

I should have said that a long time ago.

I always wondered, why'd you stand me up?

Actually, I was there.

But when I saw you, I realized you were so far out of my league.

So, I ran.

Truth is, it's your fault for looking so beautiful.

Okay, that was worth waiting for.

To be honest, I was so uncomfortable

in that dress and all that makeup, so I used you ditching me

as an excuse to go home and play video games.

I went home and played video games, too.

We really could have been friends.

Maybe we still can be.

‐(cups click) ‐(chuckles)

(grunts) Come on, Derek.

This is a dance. We should be dancing.

I don't dance.

Then why'd you agree to be my date?

It's my year of yes.

You look really pretty.

‐Thank you. ‐Like, this slug I found on the sidewalk

when it was raining. Slugs love rain.

His name's Randall. Wanna meet him?

Be right back. (chuckles)

So, you have an older brother, right? What's that like?

Uh, it's like... boys.

But, uh, you know, older.

And there's also parents, so, well...

Mm‐hmm.

Ned, are you okay?

(high‐pitched): Uh‐huh.

Joe, it's a slow song.

Give yourself somewhere to go.

Don't worry. I'm just warming up.

(exhales)

Um, I'm gonna go get some punch.

Hey, you were dancing with Ned.

Looks like it all worked out.

Yep. It's... great.

Yep. Same here.

Yep. Everything I dreamed of.

‐I don't wanna do this anymore. ‐Neither do I.

‐Me, neither. ‐I wanna be with you guys.

‐I wonder if Emmy feels the same way. ‐I do.

We can't just ditch our dates and hang out together, though.

Or can we?

Ned, this has been really great,

but how would you feel if we hung out with our own friends

for a while?

Oh, thank goodness.

Guys, guys. Good news. They hate this, too.

‐(dance music plays) ‐All: Our song!

This is so much better.

Who needs dates?

Four amigas , foreva!

The only people I wanna dance with are you guys.

Yep. Definitely just you guys.

♪ That's what I said, that's what I said ♪

♪ Don't need no one to do it ♪

♪ So here we go, there's no time for wasting ♪

Wow. I can't believe I went to my first dance.

Do I look different?

‐More mature? ‐(door closes)

Are you kidding? I already bought you a car.

‐Really? ‐No.

So, did you have fun?

So much fun.

Once I realized I was rushing into this whole boy thing.

You were right, Dad.

And clearly, you were speaking from experience.

What do you mean?

Well, I heard from Emmy, who heard from Sophia's mom,

that there was a chaperone who came face‐to‐face tonight

with a girl that he stood up at his dance

in the '90s.

Okay, I admit it. Not my proudest moment.

So,

the Swedish Foot Institute, huh?

What? How'd you hear about that?

Hey, the rumor mill spins both ways.

♪♪

♪ Do do, do do do do, do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do, do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do, do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do, do do ♪

Oh, yeah.