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1
00:02:50,805 --> 00:02:52,466
Hiya, wall.
2
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,042
Well, what's wrong with that?
3
00:02:57,012 --> 00:03:00,079
There's a woman 3 doors
down talks to her microwave.
4
00:03:00,482 --> 00:03:04,719
Talking to a microwave!
Wall, what's the world coming to?
5
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:12,318
I know, I'm wicked, aren't I? ...drinking.
6
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,427
I like a glass of wine
when I'm doing the cooking.
7
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,854
Don't I, wall?
8
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:23,361
Don't I like a glass of wine when
I'm preparing the evening meal?
9
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,294
Chips n' egg.
10
00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:32,671
Oh, God!
11
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:37,946
What'll he be like, eh, wall,... my fella?
12
00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:40,249
What'll he be like when he finds out,
13
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:43,085
he's only getting chips n' egg for his tea?
14
00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:46,352
Well, it's Thursday, you see,
15
00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:50,657
and when it's Thursday it has to be steak.
It's The 11th Commandment.
16
00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:52,230
Moses declared it:
17
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:56,859
"Though shalt give thy fella steak every Thursday,"
18
00:03:57,169 --> 00:04:01,968
"and if though doesn't, thy fella will
have one big gob on him all night long."
19
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:06,371
I wouldn't mind, it's not even
my bloody fault about the steak.
20
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:09,844
You see, this morning, Gillian came 'round.
21
00:04:10,614 --> 00:04:12,783
I don't normally have much to do with Gillian.
22
00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:17,447
I'm not saying she's a bragger,
but if you've been to Paradise,
23
00:04:17,554 --> 00:04:20,524
she's got a season ticket.
She's that type Gillian, you know...
24
00:04:20,623 --> 00:04:23,454
If you've got a headache,
she's got a brain tumour.
25
00:04:26,696 --> 00:04:29,688
Oh, hello, Shirley. It appears your bell isn't working.
26
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,029
Do you think perhaps there's
something wrong with it?
27
00:04:32,136 --> 00:04:35,400
That's how she talks, Gillian.
You know, she begrudges you the breathe.
28
00:04:35,506 --> 00:04:37,169
I dunno. There must be a power-cut.
29
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:41,034
Ah, well, there you see,
Eric and I have installed solar energy.
30
00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:43,911
Now, we would never be
caught out by a power failure.
31
00:04:44,013 --> 00:04:47,881
Shirley, I've come to ask a favour.
Can you come over for a minute?
32
00:04:48,219 --> 00:04:49,809
Oh yeah, yeah, sure.
33
00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:58,387
You see, Eric and I have to
go away for a couple of days.
34
00:04:58,494 --> 00:05:02,224
Eric's doing a paper in Brussels.
Bloody Brussels!
35
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:06,233
I said to him, why couldn't it
have been Paris, or even Amsterdam?
36
00:05:06,302 --> 00:05:10,971
- I really find Brussels such a bore.
- Yeah, must be,... all those sprouts.
37
00:05:11,139 --> 00:05:13,231
I made arrangements for
mummy to feed Claymore,
38
00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:15,708
but she finds now, she can't do this evening.
39
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,237
So, if you could manage...
40
00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:20,371
Now, we keep Claymore's food in here.
41
00:05:20,481 --> 00:05:22,642
Now, it's terribly simple, Shirley.
42
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:26,584
You simply mix his muesli
with about half a pint of milk.
43
00:05:26,687 --> 00:05:27,949
- Doesn't he have meat?
44
00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:31,722
- Oh, Shirley, we haven't had
meat in this house for years!
45
00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:33,483
Didn't you know we'd become vegans?
46
00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:36,291
No, I thought you were still Church of England.
47
00:05:38,098 --> 00:05:41,932
Now, it's one bowl, Shirley...
One bowl, twice a day.
48
00:05:42,069 --> 00:05:45,562
Claymore loves his muesli,
don't you, Clay darling?
49
00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:48,668
A vegetarian bloodhound!
50
00:05:49,743 --> 00:05:54,242
Come on, that's it, Claymore darling.
There... hmm?
51
00:05:54,581 --> 00:05:59,548
Oh, Claymore darling, it's your favourite!
52
00:05:59,685 --> 00:06:01,785
I hope you're not sick.
53
00:06:01,787 --> 00:06:05,414
You only had to take one look at that
dog to see it was well and truly sick...
54
00:06:05,424 --> 00:06:07,185
Sick of the sight of muesli!
55
00:06:07,226 --> 00:06:12,464
Awww, you're off your food?
Because mummy was 5 minutes late with it...
56
00:06:13,098 --> 00:06:14,759
Is that it?
57
00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:16,925
He orders dinner sharp at 17:10,
58
00:06:17,035 --> 00:06:19,004
and then he has a run in the garden.
59
00:06:36,488 --> 00:06:41,484
C'mon, Clay, c'mon. Oh, look, lovely dinner!
That's a lovely dinner!
60
00:06:41,492 --> 00:06:45,294
C'mon, eat it up. C'mon, Clay, c'mon.
61
00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:51,794
Aww, it's not natural, is it?
62
00:06:52,336 --> 00:06:55,234
I mean, if God had wanted
to create a vegetarian dog,
63
00:06:55,238 --> 00:06:58,164
he wouldn't have made you
a bloodhound, would He?
64
00:06:58,275 --> 00:07:02,703
He'd have made you a yogurthound,
or a veggie burgerhound.
65
00:07:02,913 --> 00:07:06,741
You're a bloodhound! You need meat!
66
00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:16,724
Wait 'til ya see what I've got for you!
67
00:07:17,793 --> 00:07:19,451
Mmm, what's this?
68
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:27,367
You wait 'til you taste this, Clay!
Nice dinner.
69
00:07:27,470 --> 00:07:30,633
You've never tasted anything like this...
70
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:35,304
Now then, you get your chops 'round this!
71
00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:38,175
C'mon, Clay.
72
00:07:38,847 --> 00:07:40,476
It's your birthday.
73
00:07:41,883 --> 00:07:43,215
C'mon.
74
00:07:49,791 --> 00:07:51,915
Ooo, is that lovely?
75
00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:59,697
Greedy guts! That's Joe's tea you're guzzling!
76
00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:03,032
I think chips n' egg's nice
for a change, don't you?
77
00:08:04,071 --> 00:08:08,207
Mind you, I don't think Joe
will see it quite like that.
78
00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:11,371
Oh, sod it!
Have another glass of wine, Shirley.
79
00:08:11,845 --> 00:08:16,209
I never used to drink wine.
It was our Millandra got me started on this.
80
00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:17,376
She said to me, she said,
81
00:08:17,384 --> 00:08:20,177
everybody drinks wine now.
- I like rum and coke.
82
00:08:20,187 --> 00:08:23,654
For God's sake!
Rum and coke went out with the ark!
83
00:08:23,757 --> 00:08:25,488
Didn't it, Sharon Louise, hmm?
84
00:08:25,491 --> 00:08:28,956
Anyway, they don't sell rum and
coke in here. It's a wine bar!
85
00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:32,890
- Look,... they sell wine.
- What, just wine?
86
00:08:32,898 --> 00:08:34,461
- For God's sake!
87
00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:38,960
But, there's thousands of different
varieties of wine, Mrs. Bradshaw.
88
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:42,869
- I like Alsatian wine.
- Well, that's what we're gonna have.
89
00:08:44,042 --> 00:08:47,639
Kids! They know everything, don't they?
90
00:08:47,913 --> 00:08:50,776
Our Millandra shares a flat with Sharon Louise.
91
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,045
They're fascinated by sex.
92
00:08:55,486 --> 00:08:59,223
Well, I suppose I'd have been the same
if I'd been born into their generation,
93
00:08:59,224 --> 00:09:01,554
'cause they discovered it, you see...
94
00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,150
The clitoris.
95
00:09:04,396 --> 00:09:06,825
"The clitoris kids", I call them,
and good luck to them.
96
00:09:06,831 --> 00:09:08,796
I don't begrudge them a thing.
97
00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:13,097
Mind you, it was different in my day.
98
00:09:15,773 --> 00:09:18,137
D'ya know, d'ya know, when I was a girl,
99
00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:20,974
we'd never even heard of the clitoris.
- Noone had.
100
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:22,842
In those days, everyone thought it was a case of
101
00:09:22,847 --> 00:09:25,537
in out, in out, shake it all about.
102
00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:28,377
Stars would light up the sky,
and the earth would tremble.
103
00:09:28,385 --> 00:09:31,952
Hey, the only thing that trembled
for me was the headboard on the bed.
104
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:38,192
D'ya know, the first time I read about it,
I thought it was pronounced "clit-oris"?
105
00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:40,457
I think it sounds nicer that way.
106
00:09:40,562 --> 00:09:43,360
That even sounds like it could
be a name, doesn't it, eh?.
107
00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:46,029
Oh, hiya, Clit-oris, how are ya?
108
00:09:46,869 --> 00:09:49,771
That makes it sound a bit crude somehow.
109
00:09:49,838 --> 00:09:52,070
Oh, shut up. Why not?
110
00:09:52,074 --> 00:09:54,874
Plenty of men walking 'round called Dick.
111
00:09:57,513 --> 00:10:00,075
Well, anyway, that's the way
I thought it was pronounced
112
00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,410
when I first mentioned it to Joe.
113
00:10:01,418 --> 00:10:05,245
Ya know, we'd sit there in the front
room one night, and I said to him,...
114
00:10:05,552 --> 00:10:08,084
I said, "Joey". I said, "Joe",
115
00:10:08,089 --> 00:10:10,615
"Have you ever heard of the clitoris?"
116
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,317
He didn't even look up from his paper.
117
00:10:12,326 --> 00:10:16,289
"Yeah", he said,
"But it doesn't go as well as the Ford Escort".
118
00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:20,362
Ah, they were great those mates.
119
00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:25,338
I don't see them anymore.
120
00:10:28,775 --> 00:10:31,075
Ah, well, that's the way it goes.
121
00:10:31,512 --> 00:10:35,311
And now Millandra's gone and,
our Brian's left home as well.
122
00:10:37,184 --> 00:10:39,717
He's living in a squat now in Kirby.
123
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,050
It's like Beirut on a bad day.
124
00:10:42,289 --> 00:10:43,981
Do you like it, mum?
125
00:10:45,058 --> 00:10:49,660
- Well, it's got that lived in look.
- We're gonna plant flowers!
126
00:10:49,663 --> 00:10:51,160
Ah, son!
127
00:10:52,898 --> 00:10:56,357
If you're gonna live in a squat,
couldn't you pick somewhere nice?
128
00:10:56,369 --> 00:10:58,435
Ya know, somewhere like Walton or Childwall?
129
00:10:58,437 --> 00:11:02,000
Mother, Childwall is no place for a poet.
130
00:11:02,109 --> 00:11:05,299
- A what?
- A poet, mum. I've become a poet.
131
00:11:05,311 --> 00:11:08,906
I went down the Jobcentre today,
and signed-on as a poet.
132
00:11:09,014 --> 00:11:11,646
Britain's first ever street poet.
133
00:11:12,518 --> 00:11:15,042
Is there much call for that
sort of thing 'round here?
134
00:11:15,253 --> 00:11:16,648
Watch...
135
00:11:20,992 --> 00:11:24,127
"Don't rob cars, it's mad, it's bad".
136
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,627
"Think of ya ma's, it'd make 'em sad".
137
00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:30,266
"Ya mothers would get a broken
heart if you got smashed up".
138
00:11:30,268 --> 00:11:34,905
"Get wise, get smart,... don't rob cars!".
139
00:11:35,006 --> 00:11:36,537
- Piss Off!
140
00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:45,943
Poets have always had a hard time of it.
141
00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,820
I do miss them though, the kids, don't I, wall?
142
00:12:01,063 --> 00:12:03,222
There's only me and him now.
143
00:12:03,732 --> 00:12:08,131
What's he like,... my fella?
What's he like, eh, wall?
144
00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:11,103
Well, he walked in one night
with a smile on his face,
145
00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:14,539
and we didn't recognise him.
Thought we had a lodger, didn't we?
146
00:12:16,578 --> 00:12:20,037
He used to laugh, Joe. We both did.
147
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:24,610
Hey, wall, do you remember
when we first moved in here?
148
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,916
Oh, that seems like a long time ago.
149
00:12:29,057 --> 00:12:31,250
We hadn't long been married.
150
00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:35,263
Hey!!
151
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,691
What?
152
00:12:37,699 --> 00:12:40,167
I can do me own makeup, thank you very much.
153
00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:44,498
Oh, sorry, well it's only a speck.
154
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:48,136
You're bound to get a bit of paint on
you doing a job like this, aren't ya?
155
00:12:57,117 --> 00:12:58,276
Hey?
156
00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:00,277
What?
157
00:13:00,421 --> 00:13:04,479
- You did that on purpose, didn't ya?
- What?
158
00:13:05,725 --> 00:13:07,317
Little bugger,... you did this!
159
00:13:07,318 --> 00:13:08,618
No!!
160
00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:13,331
- No, Shirley, stop!
161
00:13:15,768 --> 00:13:17,467
You bugger!
162
00:13:19,168 --> 00:13:20,368
Ta da!
163
00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:23,399
- No, don't!
- I'll get you!
164
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,005
No!!
165
00:13:33,553 --> 00:13:35,281
For you, "Van Gogh".
166
00:13:36,888 --> 00:13:39,118
- This is for you, "Mona Lisa".
- No!
167
00:13:44,161 --> 00:13:48,857
No, don't! Ah, no don't, Joe.
Oh, Joe, please!
168
00:13:52,737 --> 00:13:55,865
You're a bloody nutcase, you!
You're loop-the-loop!
169
00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:58,741
No, you're not kissing me like that!
170
00:14:00,511 --> 00:14:03,778
- Go on!
- Oh, alright.
171
00:14:11,597 --> 00:14:13,297
It's up me nose!
172
00:14:21,898 --> 00:14:25,525
Aren't we the daring young things,
getting a bath together?
173
00:14:25,569 --> 00:14:29,326
- Does this mean we're perverted?
- You're a nutcase, you are!
174
00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:36,202
I love you, Shirley Valentine.
175
00:14:39,581 --> 00:14:41,410
Remember that, wall?
176
00:14:41,783 --> 00:14:43,908
He used to love me
because I was a nutcase.
177
00:14:43,919 --> 00:14:46,319
Now he just thinks I am a nutcase.
178
00:14:47,057 --> 00:14:48,357
Mmm...
179
00:14:49,258 --> 00:14:51,450
It's lovely that. It's not too dry.
180
00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:54,756
Some of it'd strip the palate off ya,
wouldn't it, but this is lovely.
181
00:14:57,232 --> 00:14:59,531
D'ya know what I'd like to do, wall?
182
00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:04,927
I'd like to drink a glass of wine,
in a country where the grape is grown.
183
00:15:06,408 --> 00:15:11,206
Sitting by the sea, just... sipping wine,
and watching the sun go down.
184
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,044
What's going on here?
185
00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:18,544
- Who the bloody hell are you talking to?
- To the wall.
186
00:15:19,387 --> 00:15:23,452
- To the what?
- The wall. Any objections?
187
00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:27,690
Never mind the bleedin' wall.
188
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,461
It's nearly 6 o'clock. Get on with gettin' me tea.
189
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,195
Oh My God!
It's 6 o'clock, and his tea isn't ready!
190
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,791
Will the government collapse?
191
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:39,366
Does this mean the end of
civilization as we know it?
192
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,567
I always have me tea at 6 o'clock.
193
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:48,408
So, just think how exciting it'd be,
if for once you had it at 6:15?
194
00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:54,516
It'd make the headlines.
"World Exclusive"... "Joe Eats Late!".
195
00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,953
I think... you're going 'round the bend.
196
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:04,657
Oh, I do hope so, I've always wanted to travel!
197
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,793
- Now, listen...
- No, you listen!
198
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,495
Go and get washed, and go
and sit and watch the telly.
199
00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:15,269
You'll have your tea when it's ready.
200
00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:29,144
I always said I'd leave him when the kids grew up.
201
00:16:29,453 --> 00:16:32,849
But by the time they'd grown up,
there was nowhere to go.
202
00:16:34,124 --> 00:16:37,592
I'm not saying he's bad, my fella.
He's just no bleedin' good.
203
00:16:38,829 --> 00:16:42,888
I don't hate men. I'm not a feminist, not like Jane.
204
00:16:42,999 --> 00:16:44,724
Jane's me mate.
205
00:16:46,269 --> 00:16:48,931
I was having tea with her
in a cafe the other day.
206
00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:52,533
Now, Jane is a feminist.
Well, she likes to think she is.
207
00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:54,634
She reads Cosmopolitan, and she says...
208
00:16:54,644 --> 00:16:57,504
All men are potential rapists.
209
00:16:57,581 --> 00:17:02,676
- Even the Pope?
- Of course,... all men, without exception.
210
00:17:03,686 --> 00:17:04,845
Look.
211
00:17:06,055 --> 00:17:07,311
What?
212
00:17:07,956 --> 00:17:10,349
- Him.
- What about him?
213
00:17:14,395 --> 00:17:18,227
Since we arrived, he hasn't taken his eyes off us.
214
00:17:19,234 --> 00:17:22,496
He's spent the whole time undressing us.
215
00:17:23,371 --> 00:17:24,733
Go away!
216
00:17:25,406 --> 00:17:28,075
Good job I put me clean underwear on.
217
00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:33,680
Jane divorced her husband.
218
00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:36,445
I never knew him, it was before I met her.
219
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:39,151
Apparently, she came home from
work unexpectedly one morning,
220
00:17:39,153 --> 00:17:41,720
and found him in bed with the milkman.
221
00:17:41,722 --> 00:17:43,414
Honest to God! The milkman!
222
00:17:43,456 --> 00:17:45,921
Well, from that day forward, I've noticed...
223
00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:48,588
she never takes milk in her tea.
224
00:17:50,231 --> 00:17:51,888
Shirley, listen.
225
00:17:52,466 --> 00:17:55,491
I went in for a magazine competition, and I won it!
226
00:17:55,636 --> 00:17:59,068
A fortnight's holiday for two in Greece!
How about that?!
227
00:17:59,172 --> 00:18:02,101
Jane, what am I gonna do without you for 2 weeks?
228
00:18:02,307 --> 00:18:04,638
You're the only one I ever talk to.
229
00:18:04,743 --> 00:18:07,038
- I won't half miss you.
- No, you won't,
230
00:18:07,146 --> 00:18:09,807
- because you're coming with me.
- What?
231
00:18:09,816 --> 00:18:12,048
I've got it all fixed. Tomorrow morning,
232
00:18:12,052 --> 00:18:16,944
- we go to the travel agents and pick the tickets up.
- Oh, but Jane, I can't!
233
00:18:16,955 --> 00:18:18,224
- Yes, you can!
234
00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:21,525
- And I don't want a vote of thanks
or a speech about how grateful you are.
235
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:25,126
You'll be doing me a big favour by coming with me.
236
00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:29,164
All set.
237
00:18:29,768 --> 00:18:32,659
Tuesday week,... and we're off!
238
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,731
I don't suppose you've got a passport, have you?
239
00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:37,470
- No, but Jane, I...
- C'mon.
240
00:18:37,476 --> 00:18:41,104
But, Jane, what about Joe?
Jane, it's impossible.
241
00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:44,640
Of course it's possible. It's perfectly possible.
242
00:18:44,783 --> 00:18:48,478
Just forget about Joe.
You're married to him, not joined at the hip.
243
00:18:48,487 --> 00:18:49,846
Has he ever taken you abroad?
244
00:18:49,853 --> 00:18:53,047
No, he... he'd never go abroad.
He hates travelling.
245
00:18:53,056 --> 00:18:55,022
He gets culture shock when we go to Chester.
246
00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:58,583
Well, that's alright then,
because he's not going, and you are.
247
00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:06,602
D'ya know, if I told Joe I was
going to Greece for a week,
248
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,896
he'd think I was going for the sex.
249
00:19:09,205 --> 00:19:10,502
Well, let him.
250
00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:13,732
- I wouldn't mind, but I'm not
particulary fond of it, sex.
251
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:19,980
I think sex is like supermarkets.
You know, overrated.
252
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,048
Just a lot of pushing and shoving,
253
00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:24,713
and you still come out
with very little at the end.
254
00:19:29,858 --> 00:19:31,917
You get them out of here.
255
00:19:32,628 --> 00:19:34,894
Listen, Jane, what about Joe?
256
00:19:35,298 --> 00:19:38,027
Look, Shirley, if Joe doesn't want to go abroad...
257
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:41,229
If he wants to behave like every
other boring, insular, Englishman,
258
00:19:41,236 --> 00:19:44,599
then that's his prerogative.
But you do want to go abroad...
259
00:19:44,606 --> 00:19:47,972
You've said so on many occasions,
and now you can.
260
00:19:48,076 --> 00:19:51,077
That's your prerogative. It's no problem, Shirley.
261
00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:52,875
It's perfectly logical.
262
00:19:52,981 --> 00:19:55,449
I know it's logical. Dead logical,...
263
00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:59,552
but, you can't bring logic into this.
We're talking about marriage.
264
00:19:59,988 --> 00:20:03,887
Marriage is like the Middle East: There's no solution.
265
00:20:09,596 --> 00:20:13,060
Oh, God! Ugh, I look like
the back end of a tram smash!
266
00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:15,996
Right, now then... Come on, bikini.
267
00:20:16,603 --> 00:20:19,772
Bikini? With my stretch marks?!
268
00:20:19,806 --> 00:20:22,570
I'd be arrested for bringing
human form into disrepute!
269
00:20:22,676 --> 00:20:24,009
- Oh, get away!
270
00:20:24,211 --> 00:20:28,077
Listen, Jane, how am I going to tell Joe
that I'm off to Greece for a fortnight?
271
00:20:28,447 --> 00:20:32,176
Oh, by the way, Joseph, umm,...
I'm just popping off to Greece for a fortnight.
272
00:20:32,185 --> 00:20:36,381
Yeah,... I just thought I'd mention it
so you can put it down in your diary.
273
00:20:37,022 --> 00:20:40,583
You won't mind doing your own washing and
cooking for a couple of weeks, will you, doll?
274
00:20:40,591 --> 00:20:41,716
There's nothing to it, babe.
275
00:20:41,893 --> 00:20:45,125
The brown blob on the right of
the kitchen is the washing machine,
276
00:20:45,131 --> 00:20:47,564
and the white blob on the left is the cooker.
277
00:20:47,567 --> 00:20:51,698
And don't get them mixed up,
or you might end up with socks on toast.
278
00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:54,669
Some chance, eh, wall? Some chance.
279
00:20:54,772 --> 00:20:57,100
Jesus, if I go to the bathroom for 5 minutes,
280
00:20:57,108 --> 00:20:59,169
he thinks I've been hijacked!
281
00:21:00,978 --> 00:21:03,809
Still here then, are we?
Haven't forgotten me then, eh?
282
00:21:03,849 --> 00:21:06,178
It won't be long now.
283
00:21:09,821 --> 00:21:11,479
See what I mean?
284
00:21:20,598 --> 00:21:24,494
Oh, I knew I shouldn't have taken the
bloody tickets off her in the first place.
285
00:21:25,502 --> 00:21:26,863
I'll phone Jane tomorrow.
286
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,235
She'll easy find someone else to go with her.
287
00:21:31,508 --> 00:21:34,041
And there was me when I was a girl...
288
00:21:34,143 --> 00:21:36,637
The only thing I ever wanted to do was travel.
289
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:40,579
I wanted to be a courier, or an air hostess.
290
00:21:41,851 --> 00:21:45,118
But it was only the clever ones
who got to do things like that.
291
00:21:45,121 --> 00:21:49,584
The ones like Marjorie Majors.
I used to sit next to her in class.
292
00:21:50,191 --> 00:21:51,716
- Marjorie?
293
00:21:51,794 --> 00:21:56,558
Miss, although it's often assumed
that Niagra Falls are the highest,
294
00:21:56,599 --> 00:21:59,931
I think in fact it's actually the Angel Falls.
295
00:22:00,136 --> 00:22:02,764
Marjorie took private elocution lessons.
296
00:22:02,972 --> 00:22:06,802
Can you tell me in what country
we would find Angel Falls?
297
00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:08,833
Venezuela, Miss.
298
00:22:08,978 --> 00:22:11,740
- Excellent!
25 house points.
299
00:22:12,382 --> 00:22:15,309
That makes 4 billion house
points she's got so far.
300
00:22:15,351 --> 00:22:18,982
- And let us address
ourselves to my next question.
301
00:22:19,185 --> 00:22:22,478
What was man's most important invention?
302
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:30,224
Oh, do put your hand down, Shirley.
You couldn't possibly know the answer.
303
00:22:30,464 --> 00:22:32,689
- But, Miss...
- Lorraine?
304
00:22:32,932 --> 00:22:35,858
- It's "Sputnik", Miss?
- No.
305
00:22:36,436 --> 00:22:38,798
But I knew I had the right answer,...
306
00:22:39,239 --> 00:22:41,638
Is it the automatic washing machine, Miss?
307
00:22:41,641 --> 00:22:42,665
- No.
308
00:22:42,675 --> 00:22:44,843
'cause I got it from me dad,...
- The aeroplane, Miss?
309
00:22:44,945 --> 00:22:47,003
and he got it from the "Encyclopedia Britannica".
310
00:22:47,513 --> 00:22:49,442
Well, come along, Marjorie.
311
00:22:49,583 --> 00:22:53,248
The internal combustion engine, Miss.
312
00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:57,320
- No, Marjorie.
- Miss?!
313
00:22:57,490 --> 00:23:00,354
I was nearly wetting myself,
knowing I was on the point of receiving...
314
00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:03,854
43 thousand house points,
a blessing from the Pope,
315
00:23:03,963 --> 00:23:05,957
and the OBE thrown in.
316
00:23:06,133 --> 00:23:10,735
Oh, very well, Shirley. You might as well
get it wrong along with everybody else.
317
00:23:10,736 --> 00:23:14,171
- What was man's most important invention?
318
00:23:16,407 --> 00:23:18,738
Miss, it was the wheel.
319
00:23:20,579 --> 00:23:22,478
Miss, it was the wheel!
320
00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:26,449
Man's most important invention was...
- Somebody must have told you!
321
00:23:26,718 --> 00:23:29,086
Well, how the bleeding hell else could I learn it?
322
00:23:29,086 --> 00:23:32,380
- Be quiet!
- Well, Miss, it's not fair!
323
00:23:32,557 --> 00:23:34,688
Miss. Lloyd, the hymn!
324
00:23:39,663 --> 00:23:42,324
And all me house points,
and me blessing from the Pope
325
00:23:42,433 --> 00:23:44,593
just disappeared before me eyes.
326
00:23:44,735 --> 00:23:47,268
I was never really interested in school after that.
327
00:23:47,471 --> 00:23:49,840
I became... a rebel.
328
00:23:52,109 --> 00:23:56,238
I used to wear my school skirts so high,
you'd have thought it was a serviette.
329
00:23:56,347 --> 00:23:58,076
I was marvellous!
330
00:24:00,884 --> 00:24:03,813
I used to exude boredom out of every pore,
331
00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:05,481
and I hated everything.
332
00:24:05,588 --> 00:24:08,521
- What did you have last lesson?
- Science.
333
00:24:08,624 --> 00:24:11,422
- It's garbage, science.
- It's boring.
334
00:24:11,828 --> 00:24:13,454
What did you do in it?
335
00:24:13,595 --> 00:24:16,330
She showed us this film of
these rabbits having a screw.
336
00:24:16,633 --> 00:24:19,292
- Any good?
- Super boring.
337
00:24:19,301 --> 00:24:23,462
- I don't even like them in stew.
- I hate them,... rabbits.
338
00:24:23,471 --> 00:24:29,267
I hate the world. I hate everything.
It's all garbage. It's last.
339
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:31,538
It's crap, and I hate it.
340
00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:38,007
But I didn't really hate anything.
The only thing I hated was me.
341
00:24:40,189 --> 00:24:43,057
Hey,... d'ya wanna drag?
342
00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:51,660
- Do you think she'll tell?
- She's a cow, she give me the irrit's.
343
00:24:52,933 --> 00:24:54,562
- Shirley Valentine!
344
00:25:17,524 --> 00:25:22,256
Shirley, I didn't give you away, honestly,
but you shouldn't smoke...
345
00:25:22,394 --> 00:25:24,790
Smoking can damage your health.
346
00:25:25,064 --> 00:25:27,459
And I can damage your health!
347
00:25:31,904 --> 00:25:34,370
God, can't you be evil when you're a kid!
348
00:25:34,474 --> 00:25:37,440
I used to pick on Marjorie something rotten.
349
00:25:37,910 --> 00:25:40,840
And all the time I suppose I
really wanted to be like her.
350
00:25:40,946 --> 00:25:43,676
- Your report is excellent, as usual.
351
00:25:44,115 --> 00:25:48,077
I'm particulary delighted to hear that you're
going to stay on with us to do your A-levels,...
352
00:25:48,085 --> 00:25:51,151
which will lead to your eventual entry into university.
353
00:25:51,189 --> 00:25:53,348
- Congratulations, my dear.
354
00:25:54,559 --> 00:25:56,317
Thank you, Miss.
355
00:26:02,566 --> 00:26:05,335
- And now we come to Miss. Valentine.
356
00:26:12,608 --> 00:26:16,602
Well, Shirley,... naturally, you are leaving us.
357
00:26:17,147 --> 00:26:20,776
And a brief glance at your report
confirms my deep suspicion,...
358
00:26:20,884 --> 00:26:26,112
that you will not go far in life.
Which perhaps is just as well,...
359
00:26:26,255 --> 00:26:29,388
given your marks in geography, you'd truly get lost.
360
00:26:31,295 --> 00:26:33,994
Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday!
361
00:26:38,134 --> 00:26:40,499
- Miss. Valentine, will you please come back!
362
00:26:52,547 --> 00:26:56,706
Of course, after I left I never saw
any more of her, Marjorie Majors...
363
00:26:56,818 --> 00:26:59,810
Then, a few weeks ago,
I was on my way home from town...
364
00:26:59,821 --> 00:27:01,786
You know, loaded down with shopping...
365
00:27:05,459 --> 00:27:07,495
Taxi! Taxi!
366
00:27:12,933 --> 00:27:15,026
Oh, you sod!
367
00:27:22,677 --> 00:27:24,373
I'm terribly sorry.
368
00:27:26,148 --> 00:27:27,712
Forgive me for asking, but...
369
00:27:27,714 --> 00:27:30,511
didn't you used to be Shirley Valentine?
370
00:27:30,717 --> 00:27:32,609
Marjorie Majors.
371
00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:36,211
I'd recognise those elocution lessons anywhere.
372
00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:39,349
It is! It's Shirley!
373
00:27:39,358 --> 00:27:42,659
My God, you're drenched!
Come in and have tea.
374
00:27:49,802 --> 00:27:53,968
Well, Marjorie,... you've waited
a long time for your revenge,
375
00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:56,563
but you got me in good style now.
Well, go on,
376
00:27:56,575 --> 00:28:00,136
dig the knife in quick,
and let's get it over with.
377
00:28:00,246 --> 00:28:03,476
Tell me all about you being
an air hostess on Concord.
378
00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,942
I can't believe it, Shirley. After all these years!
379
00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:07,814
I know, and I haven't changed a bit, have I?
380
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,979
Still kept my youthful complection.
381
00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:12,717
We've got to get you out of those wet things.
382
00:28:13,258 --> 00:28:14,657
Here we are.
383
00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:29,633
Thanks, Marjorie.
384
00:28:30,107 --> 00:28:31,869
Oh, that's better.
385
00:28:33,543 --> 00:28:34,669
Hello.
386
00:28:36,179 --> 00:28:38,308
Now, I want to know everything
that's happened to you.
387
00:28:38,315 --> 00:28:40,046
I want the whole story, from A to Z.
388
00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:43,113
Got a postage stamp? I'll write it down for you.
389
00:28:43,955 --> 00:28:46,113
Won't you sit down, Shirley.
390
00:28:48,892 --> 00:28:50,856
- Do you have children?
- Yeah.
391
00:28:51,828 --> 00:28:53,989
Tell me about them. Are they like you?
392
00:28:54,631 --> 00:28:57,359
Well, our Millandra's a bit of a mare,
and Brian's a headcase,
393
00:28:57,367 --> 00:28:59,464
so, yeah, they are like me.
394
00:29:00,904 --> 00:29:04,596
- Well,... this is great, isn't it?
- Yeah.
395
00:29:07,277 --> 00:29:10,972
- Er,... so, where are you off to next?
- Paris...
396
00:29:11,347 --> 00:29:14,209
- Tonight, I'm afraid
- Is that where you live now?
397
00:29:14,215 --> 00:29:17,811
No, I'm based in London, but er,... I travel all over.
398
00:29:18,019 --> 00:29:21,887
- From Paris, it's Athens, I think.
- It's Greece, isn't it?
399
00:29:21,990 --> 00:29:24,683
- Yeah.
- I remember that from geography.
400
00:29:25,025 --> 00:29:27,688
- All those islands!
- That's right.
401
00:29:32,499 --> 00:29:35,693
- Shall I pour now, Madam?
- Please.
402
00:29:40,074 --> 00:29:44,010
This is my friend Marjorie.
We were at school together.
403
00:29:44,011 --> 00:29:48,907
Marjorie's an air hostess now,... on Concord.
404
00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:51,484
Pardon, darling?
405
00:29:52,286 --> 00:29:53,844
An air hostess?
406
00:29:54,621 --> 00:29:57,454
My God, Shirley, whatever gave you that idea?
407
00:29:57,591 --> 00:30:00,719
I said I travel widely, but I'm not an air hostess.
408
00:30:01,861 --> 00:30:05,389
Darling, I'm a hooker... I'm a whore.
409
00:30:10,570 --> 00:30:14,107
Oh, Madam, I'm, I'm so sorry.
Erm, I'll get you some more.
410
00:30:14,206 --> 00:30:17,806
- Nevermind, just leave it.
What do we want tea for anyway?
411
00:30:17,810 --> 00:30:19,673
This calls for a celebration.
412
00:30:24,416 --> 00:30:29,080
I just can't believe it...
You, a hooker? Honest, Marjorie?
413
00:30:29,355 --> 00:30:30,820
Yes, honest.
414
00:30:31,657 --> 00:30:34,884
And all that money your mother
spent on those elocution lessons!
415
00:30:35,694 --> 00:30:40,124
Do you know something?
I always hated the way I had to speak, I still do.
416
00:30:40,432 --> 00:30:42,230
I think you speak lovely.
417
00:30:44,169 --> 00:30:49,967
- You, Marjorie Majors, a hooker!
- A top class hooker, of course.
418
00:30:50,009 --> 00:30:53,268
Mind you, I always was...
top of the class, wasn't I?
419
00:30:55,879 --> 00:30:58,544
- Are you shocked, darling?
- No... no, I'm not.
420
00:30:58,816 --> 00:31:01,449
I'm just thinking about all those house points!
421
00:31:15,733 --> 00:31:17,363
- I've found it!
422
00:31:21,604 --> 00:31:23,669
- Is that our class?
- Yes.
423
00:31:24,807 --> 00:31:28,264
Oh, God, look at me hair!
424
00:31:28,411 --> 00:31:32,344
- There's your favourite
- Yeah, that cow, Miss. Dearden.
425
00:31:34,650 --> 00:31:38,049
Remember, Marjorie,...
smoking is bad for your health!
426
00:31:39,655 --> 00:31:43,087
- God, what a pain in the neck I was.
- No, you weren't.
427
00:31:44,326 --> 00:31:46,592
You know, I never forgave myself
428
00:31:46,694 --> 00:31:50,128
for what I did to that beautiful souffl� of yours.
429
00:31:55,603 --> 00:31:56,636
Yes?
430
00:31:56,806 --> 00:31:57,832
Yes.
431
00:31:58,433 --> 00:31:59,533
Oh, right...
432
00:31:59,540 --> 00:32:01,904
Tell him I'll be down in 5 minutes.
433
00:32:02,844 --> 00:32:05,309
Hell, that's my car for the airport.
434
00:32:05,947 --> 00:32:09,880
Oh, I wish I didn't have to go.
It's been such a lovely afternoon.
435
00:32:10,651 --> 00:32:14,984
Yeah,... and d'ya know when I
first saw you, I almost fled.
436
00:32:15,089 --> 00:32:16,180
Why?
437
00:32:16,257 --> 00:32:20,452
Ah,... I thought you'd come lording it over me.
438
00:32:20,661 --> 00:32:23,019
Me, lording it over you?
439
00:32:24,264 --> 00:32:27,132
Don't you realise, I wanted to be like you?
440
00:32:27,601 --> 00:32:29,759
And I wanted to be like you!
441
00:32:31,738 --> 00:32:34,864
If only we'd known.
We could have been great mates...
442
00:32:34,874 --> 00:32:36,804
You know, real close.
443
00:32:38,010 --> 00:32:40,245
- It's been fun, hasn't it?
- Yeah.
444
00:32:41,848 --> 00:32:45,046
Anyway, you're off to Paris now. That's lovely.
445
00:32:45,317 --> 00:32:48,351
Yes, but I'd rather be here, talking to you.
446
00:32:49,655 --> 00:32:51,154
Well then.
447
00:32:59,131 --> 00:33:01,699
- Can we give you a lift?
- No, I'm fine, thanks.
448
00:33:01,799 --> 00:33:04,197
I've still got a bit more shopping to do.
449
00:33:04,970 --> 00:33:06,403
Well then.
450
00:33:12,411 --> 00:33:15,479
And there was real affection in that kiss.
451
00:33:15,646 --> 00:33:18,308
It was the sweetest kiss I'd known in years.
452
00:33:22,854 --> 00:33:26,954
Goodbye, Shirley.
Goodbye, Shirley Valentine.
453
00:33:32,529 --> 00:33:34,656
"Goodbye, Shirley Valentine".
454
00:33:36,967 --> 00:33:38,730
What happened to her?
455
00:33:40,136 --> 00:33:42,536
What happened to Shirley Valentine?
456
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,732
She got married... to a boy called Joe,...
457
00:33:46,910 --> 00:33:49,168
and even though her name
was changed to Bradshaw,
458
00:33:49,278 --> 00:33:52,509
she was still Shirley Valentine for a while.
459
00:33:53,083 --> 00:33:55,107
She knew who she was,...
460
00:33:56,519 --> 00:33:58,087
but somewhere along the way,
461
00:33:58,186 --> 00:34:00,678
the boy called Joe turned into "Him",....
462
00:34:01,423 --> 00:34:04,221
and Shirley Valentine turned into this.
463
00:34:08,096 --> 00:34:11,760
And what I can't remember
is the day, or the week,
464
00:34:11,767 --> 00:34:15,324
or the month, or... when it happened.
465
00:34:15,904 --> 00:34:17,997
When it stopped being good.
466
00:34:18,907 --> 00:34:21,772
When Shirley Valentine disappeared,
and became just another name
467
00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:24,103
on the 'missing persons' list.
468
00:34:26,814 --> 00:34:30,306
He says he still loves me, you know?
But, he doesn't...
469
00:34:31,051 --> 00:34:33,312
It's just something he says.
470
00:34:34,421 --> 00:34:37,615
It's funny, isn't it? "I love you".
It's like it makes everything alright.
471
00:34:37,724 --> 00:34:41,091
Like,... like you can be beaten,
and battered, and half insane,
472
00:34:41,094 --> 00:34:44,595
and if you complain, he'll say,
"What's wrong? You know I love you".
473
00:34:45,599 --> 00:34:49,191
"I love you". They should bottle it, and sell it...
474
00:34:49,203 --> 00:34:51,200
It cures everything.
475
00:34:55,509 --> 00:34:57,772
And I know what you're thinking.
476
00:34:58,545 --> 00:35:00,172
Why don't I leave?
477
00:35:01,047 --> 00:35:03,880
Well, I'm terrified, if you want to know.
478
00:35:04,116 --> 00:35:07,917
I'm terrified that if I left,
there'd be nowhere for me to go.
479
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,081
No place for me in the life beyond the wall.
480
00:35:13,092 --> 00:35:16,649
When I was a girl, I used to jump off our roof.
481
00:35:16,761 --> 00:35:18,556
- Is it ready then?
482
00:35:22,334 --> 00:35:25,762
I get me tea at 6 o'clock, and it's
nearly 10 past. What's going on?
483
00:35:25,870 --> 00:35:27,467
It's ready, sit down.
484
00:36:00,504 --> 00:36:03,837
- What's this then?
- What?
485
00:36:04,908 --> 00:36:08,172
What... is... this?
486
00:36:10,612 --> 00:36:12,547
Well, it looks very like chips n' egg to me,
487
00:36:12,549 --> 00:36:14,383
but maybe it's a trick question.
488
00:36:14,584 --> 00:36:18,310
- It's Thursday.
We have steak on Thursday.
489
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,113
We always have steak on Thursday.
490
00:36:22,958 --> 00:36:24,650
Well, alright it's Thursday,
491
00:36:24,761 --> 00:36:27,121
but we're having chips n' egg for a change.
492
00:36:27,296 --> 00:36:30,465
- You like chips n' egg.
- On a Tuesday...
493
00:36:30,499 --> 00:36:33,762
I like chips n' egg on a Tuesday.
494
00:36:34,737 --> 00:36:37,061
Today is Thursday.
495
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,168
- Well, pretend it's Tuesday.
- Where's me steak?!
496
00:36:42,744 --> 00:36:46,244
- I give it to the dog!
- What dog?!
497
00:36:46,214 --> 00:36:49,008
Gillian's dog, across the street!
498
00:36:51,319 --> 00:36:52,784
Is this it?
499
00:36:54,122 --> 00:36:57,246
Have you finally gone 'round the friggin' pipe?!
500
00:37:00,093 --> 00:37:03,324
Look at me! I'm working from morning 'til night,
501
00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:07,695
working me tripe out, and what do I find?
502
00:37:08,134 --> 00:37:10,964
You, talking to the wall!
503
00:37:11,738 --> 00:37:15,003
Giving me tea to any friggin'
stray dog that comes along,
504
00:37:15,675 --> 00:37:19,008
and I'm expected to eat... this!
505
00:37:20,079 --> 00:37:24,077
Well, I'm... not... eating... this!
506
00:37:24,351 --> 00:37:27,814
I'm... not... eating... shite!
507
00:37:42,968 --> 00:37:45,003
- Chips n' egg.
508
00:37:45,838 --> 00:37:48,134
- Chips n' friggin' egg!
509
00:37:48,540 --> 00:37:51,870
- I'm working all the hours that God sends!
510
00:37:52,110 --> 00:37:56,340
- I don't know why I bother.
- I don't know what I'm doing it all for!
511
00:37:57,582 --> 00:38:00,242
- What's that?
- It's a place.
512
00:38:00,384 --> 00:38:02,314
It's a place I'm going to!
513
00:38:06,023 --> 00:38:08,020
Ahhh, I get it.
514
00:38:09,127 --> 00:38:11,726
That's the name of the game, is it?
515
00:38:14,132 --> 00:38:16,131
I'm not getting fed properly,
516
00:38:16,133 --> 00:38:19,464
because you're saving for a foreign friggin' holiday!
517
00:38:19,469 --> 00:38:21,803
Well, I'm telling you now, you can just forget it!
518
00:38:21,806 --> 00:38:25,141
I am not going to no Greece!
519
00:38:29,379 --> 00:38:30,876
Get it?!
520
00:39:22,263 --> 00:39:25,626
- Oh, hello, Shirley. What are you doing here?
521
00:39:26,868 --> 00:39:30,529
- I'm just buying a few...
- They're quite nice, aren't they?
522
00:39:31,204 --> 00:39:35,265
It's marvellous what they can do with
man made fibres these days, isn't it?
523
00:39:35,274 --> 00:39:36,842
You'd almost think it was silk...
524
00:39:36,843 --> 00:39:38,977
if you weren't familiar with the real thing.
525
00:39:39,212 --> 00:39:41,710
Well, I expect they're quite nice for your Millandra.
526
00:39:41,748 --> 00:39:44,382
Oh, no, Gillian, I'm not buying them for Millandra,
527
00:39:44,418 --> 00:39:48,553
I'm buying them for myself.
Oh, these are better, yes.
528
00:39:48,588 --> 00:39:51,385
Yes, umm, but I shan't be
wearing them for myself...
529
00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:53,981
I shall be wearing them for my lover.
530
00:39:54,627 --> 00:39:56,692
Yes, we fly out tomorrow, my lover and I,
531
00:39:56,796 --> 00:39:58,695
for a fortnight in the Greek islands.
532
00:39:59,097 --> 00:40:02,857
Just 2 weeks of sun, sand, taramasalata,
533
00:40:02,869 --> 00:40:06,763
and whatever else takes our fancy.
Oh, well, I must be off now, Gillian.
534
00:40:06,771 --> 00:40:09,971
Still got a few more things to buy.
I don't suppose you noticed
535
00:40:09,976 --> 00:40:12,309
which counter the garter belts were on, did you?
536
00:40:12,311 --> 00:40:15,539
No? Oh, nevermind, I'll find them. Tara, Gillian.
537
00:40:33,631 --> 00:40:36,794
Passport,... tickets, money.
Passport, tickets, money.
538
00:40:36,901 --> 00:40:40,437
4 o'clock Jane's picking me up. 11:10.
539
00:40:41,171 --> 00:40:44,137
Ugh, I feel sick.
540
00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:47,642
Those travel sickness pills mustn't be working.
541
00:40:47,644 --> 00:40:50,575
I still feel sick, and I've taken 4 already,...
542
00:40:50,580 --> 00:40:53,179
and I've only travelled up n' down the stairs.
543
00:40:53,283 --> 00:40:56,247
Passport, tickets, money.
544
00:40:56,319 --> 00:40:59,016
I got a full one, wall,... passport.
545
00:40:59,222 --> 00:41:02,087
Well, you never know, Shirley,
this could be the start of something.
546
00:41:02,192 --> 00:41:04,953
This year Greece, next year the world.
547
00:41:05,895 --> 00:41:08,692
Oh, God, I knew I should have told him.
548
00:41:09,265 --> 00:41:12,231
10 days I've been secretly ironing, and packing.
549
00:41:12,235 --> 00:41:14,530
It's been like living in a bleedin' prison!
550
00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:16,364
Cooking all his meat for the next fortnight...
551
00:41:16,371 --> 00:41:17,768
They're all in the freezer.
552
00:41:17,773 --> 00:41:19,601
My mother's got to come in and defrost them,
553
00:41:19,707 --> 00:41:21,534
and do his cooking for him.
554
00:41:22,677 --> 00:41:25,540
With a bit of luck,
he won't even notice I'm not here.
555
00:41:26,014 --> 00:41:27,705
Oh, God!
556
00:41:29,618 --> 00:41:32,453
God, look, I know I'm being cruel,
557
00:41:32,454 --> 00:41:34,448
and I know I will have to
pay for it when I get back,
558
00:41:34,456 --> 00:41:37,923
and I don't mind paying for it then,
but just... just do me a favour, God,
559
00:41:37,926 --> 00:41:40,689
and don't make me pay for ir during the 2 weeks.
560
00:41:40,795 --> 00:41:43,227
Keep everyone safe, please.
561
00:42:24,869 --> 00:42:28,235
I hate that Sharon Louise! She's a mare!
562
00:42:28,340 --> 00:42:31,739
I don't know why I ever went to
live with her in the first place!
563
00:42:31,844 --> 00:42:35,243
Mother, I've come back to live with you!
564
00:42:37,615 --> 00:42:40,708
Mother, make me some cocoa
and toast like you used to...
565
00:42:40,818 --> 00:42:42,682
I'm going to me room.
566
00:43:12,382 --> 00:43:14,845
She's a cow, that Sharon Louise.
567
00:43:14,951 --> 00:43:17,678
I don't know why I ever left you, Mother.
568
00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:22,848
Mother, you haven't put
enough sugar in this cocoa.
569
00:43:22,859 --> 00:43:25,792
Will you go down, and get us another spoon?
570
00:43:36,605 --> 00:43:38,036
What am I doing, wall?
571
00:43:38,074 --> 00:43:39,766
She's only been back 5 minutes, and...
572
00:43:39,775 --> 00:43:43,402
she's got me strutting 'round like R2 bleedin' D2!
573
00:43:52,620 --> 00:43:55,552
Ah, thanks, Mother, that's brilliant.
574
00:43:56,824 --> 00:43:59,325
God, I love being back home.
575
00:43:59,693 --> 00:44:03,290
We'll go down town on Saturday,
shall we, Mother? Like we used to.
576
00:44:03,331 --> 00:44:06,026
Do some shopping together, eh?
Just you and me.
577
00:44:06,033 --> 00:44:07,360
- Yeah, that...
- Mother, do us a favour,...
578
00:44:07,467 --> 00:44:10,593
- and bring the telly upstairs, will ya?
- Millandra...
579
00:44:11,772 --> 00:44:15,201
Millandra, I'm really pleased you've come home...
580
00:44:15,209 --> 00:44:18,076
You know, because I've missed you.
- And I've missed you, Mother.
581
00:44:18,178 --> 00:44:19,703
I've been home sick, you know.
582
00:44:19,712 --> 00:44:22,338
I mean, I've never said that.
I've never complained,
583
00:44:22,349 --> 00:44:25,008
because I think kids should have their own lives,
584
00:44:25,018 --> 00:44:31,022
but there's... there's been many a time I'd
loved to have sat and had a talk with you, or,
585
00:44:31,024 --> 00:44:34,159
or gone to town with you, or had a meal,
or shared a laugh...
586
00:44:34,161 --> 00:44:37,790
- Mother...
- Just like... like, not as your Mother, but
587
00:44:37,797 --> 00:44:38,890
as another human being...
588
00:44:38,932 --> 00:44:40,728
- Well, Mother, could you get the telly for us?
589
00:44:40,734 --> 00:44:42,426
Playschool's gonna be on in a minute.
590
00:44:42,503 --> 00:44:46,033
but I couldn't,... because you had your own life...
591
00:44:47,106 --> 00:44:49,364
Your own interests, and your own friends...
592
00:44:49,374 --> 00:44:50,601
None of it to do with me.
593
00:44:50,610 --> 00:44:54,306
Yeah, well, that's okay
'cause now I've come back home.
594
00:44:54,314 --> 00:44:58,549
Yes, you've come home, and that's fantastic,
595
00:44:59,017 --> 00:45:02,484
and, and, you couldn't have picked
a better time for it, 'cause...
596
00:45:03,121 --> 00:45:05,453
It'll be a great help having you
here to look after your Father.
597
00:45:05,557 --> 00:45:09,187
- Why? What's wrong with him?
- Well, there's nothing wrong with him, it's...
598
00:45:11,496 --> 00:45:14,493
it's just with me not being
here for the next 2 weeks.
599
00:45:15,933 --> 00:45:17,196
- What?
600
00:45:18,069 --> 00:45:21,401
- With me and Jane going to Greece,... today...
601
00:45:21,406 --> 00:45:25,507
- You and...? Going to Greece? What for?!
602
00:45:25,844 --> 00:45:29,809
- For 2 whole weeks.
- That Jane,... and you?!
603
00:45:30,181 --> 00:45:32,608
- What's me Father had to say about it?!
604
00:45:33,851 --> 00:45:36,544
- Well,... I haven't told him.
605
00:45:37,987 --> 00:45:40,948
- I think it's a disgrace!
- What?
606
00:45:40,957 --> 00:45:43,355
- Me own Mother behaving like that!
607
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,492
- Millandra, I thought you'd be made up for me.
608
00:45:46,496 --> 00:45:50,397
- Made up? Made up?! I think it's disgusting!
609
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,434
- Hold on, what's disgusting about it?
610
00:45:52,535 --> 00:45:54,798
- 2 middle aged women going
to Greece on their own?
611
00:45:54,904 --> 00:45:57,395
- It's disgusting!
- Oh, don't be silly!
612
00:45:57,507 --> 00:46:00,769
- Love, where are ya going?
- I'm going back to my flat.
613
00:46:01,277 --> 00:46:04,311
- Greece, at your age! You and that Jane!
614
00:46:04,313 --> 00:46:05,539
- It's obscene!
615
00:46:05,547 --> 00:46:08,573
- You are jumping to exactly the
same conclusions as your Father would.
616
00:46:08,684 --> 00:46:12,051
You think I'm off to Greece
on a grab-a-granny fortnight!
617
00:46:16,925 --> 00:46:20,186
That's right, Millandra,
I'm going to Greece for the sex!
618
00:46:20,697 --> 00:46:25,026
Sex for breakfast, sex for dinner,
sex for tea, and sex for supper!
619
00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:27,194
Sounds like a marvellous diet, love!
620
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:30,961
It is! Have you never heard of it?
It's called the "F" plan!
621
00:46:34,508 --> 00:46:37,171
"You, going to Greece. What for?".
622
00:46:44,018 --> 00:46:46,411
What am I going for?
623
00:46:52,325 --> 00:46:55,424
Shirley, you are one silly bitch!
624
00:46:57,364 --> 00:46:59,532
You're 42, not 22.
625
00:47:01,268 --> 00:47:04,634
Just another stupid woman,
looking for adventure,...
626
00:47:04,670 --> 00:47:07,362
when the time for adventures is over.
627
00:47:12,145 --> 00:47:16,477
Well, I'll phone Jane,... tell her I'm not coming.
628
00:47:45,977 --> 00:47:50,272
- Oh, hello, Shirley, is Joe at home?
- No, Gillian, Joe isn't at home,...
629
00:47:50,281 --> 00:47:52,115
and listen, if you've come to
spill the beans, don't bother...
630
00:47:52,215 --> 00:47:55,512
Shirley, I haven't come to spill any beans.
631
00:47:57,422 --> 00:48:01,050
I just wanted to check
that Joseph wasn't home...
632
00:48:03,460 --> 00:48:05,890
before I gave you... this.
633
00:48:06,797 --> 00:48:09,689
I want you to have it for your trip... to Greece.
634
00:48:10,434 --> 00:48:12,264
Well, do open it.
635
00:48:20,009 --> 00:48:23,545
It is silk. It's never been worn...
636
00:48:23,646 --> 00:48:26,410
You see, I... was never brave enough.
637
00:48:26,715 --> 00:48:30,581
- Oh, Gillian!
- I wish I'd had your bravery.
638
00:48:30,653 --> 00:48:33,845
- Listen, today...
- Please, Shirley, don't say anything.
639
00:48:33,856 --> 00:48:39,721
- It's yours. I just wanted you to know...
I think you're marvellous.
640
00:48:45,133 --> 00:48:46,929
- Gillian!
641
00:48:58,976 --> 00:49:01,536
Gillian really believes it!
642
00:49:01,679 --> 00:49:04,806
All that rubbish about me, taking a lover!
643
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,312
She really believes it's possible!
644
00:49:07,317 --> 00:49:09,475
In her eyes, I'm no longer Shirley Bradshaw,
645
00:49:09,586 --> 00:49:13,147
middle aged housewife, beginning to sag a bit.
646
00:49:13,522 --> 00:49:17,684
I'm Shirley the brave. Shirley the marvellous!
647
00:49:19,396 --> 00:49:21,393
Shirley Valentine!
648
00:49:23,032 --> 00:49:25,125
From now on, when I look in the mirror,
649
00:49:25,135 --> 00:49:27,360
I'm not gonna say, "Christ, you're 42",
650
00:49:27,370 --> 00:49:33,504
I'm gonna say, "Hey, Shirley, you're only 42!
Isn't that marvellous?!"
651
00:49:37,011 --> 00:49:39,496
"Gone to Greece. Back in 2 weeks"
652
00:49:58,066 --> 00:49:59,327
Shirl'?
653
00:50:04,506 --> 00:50:06,098
Shirl'?
654
00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:20,002
Hey.
655
00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:22,638
I bet you didn't recognise me.
656
00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:26,212
I hardly recognise myself these days.
657
00:51:27,318 --> 00:51:30,515
I love it here,... don't I, rock?
658
00:51:31,288 --> 00:51:34,483
That's rock. We met the first day I got here.
659
00:51:35,459 --> 00:51:39,722
I found this little place...
I found you, didn't I, rock?
660
00:51:39,796 --> 00:51:41,989
I talk to you,... rock.
661
00:51:42,864 --> 00:51:45,361
He's got his name running right through him.
662
00:51:45,667 --> 00:51:50,271
Now, of course, I talk to rock,
but he doesn't talk to me.
663
00:51:50,339 --> 00:51:53,204
He can't, you see, he's a Greek rock.
664
00:51:54,010 --> 00:51:57,036
He can't understand a bleedin' word I'm saying!
665
00:51:58,815 --> 00:52:01,678
I might have risked the main
beach if I'd have been with Jane,
666
00:52:01,783 --> 00:52:06,083
but on me own, I felt a bit,...
you know, conspicuous.
667
00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:10,115
'Cause Jane met a fella, didn't she.
668
00:52:10,993 --> 00:52:15,493
Not here,... on the plane. Honest to God!
669
00:52:15,930 --> 00:52:16,988
Ladies and gentleman,
670
00:52:16,999 --> 00:52:19,024
would you now please observe
the no smoking sign,
671
00:52:19,034 --> 00:52:21,502
and extinguish all lighted cigarettes.
672
00:52:23,639 --> 00:52:28,208
- Where have you been?
- I told you, just to the loo.
673
00:52:28,209 --> 00:52:30,503
I was beginning to think you'd fallen down it.
674
00:52:30,611 --> 00:52:34,541
Shirley. Shirley,... see him?
675
00:52:35,817 --> 00:52:37,907
What, the walking groin?
676
00:52:38,286 --> 00:52:41,513
Shir', listen, he's just invited me out to dinner.
677
00:52:42,455 --> 00:52:44,248
- What?
- Tonight.
678
00:52:44,359 --> 00:52:47,252
He's got a villa on the other
side of the island from us,
679
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:51,820
with an olive grove.
Well, Shirl', it's only for tonight.
680
00:52:51,831 --> 00:52:55,833
We'll still do all the things we planned.
You don't mind, do you?
681
00:52:57,737 --> 00:52:59,964
Listen, Jane, I think you've probably blown the
682
00:52:59,973 --> 00:53:03,539
'Feminist of the year' award,
so just leave it out, will ya?
683
00:53:03,977 --> 00:53:06,874
I mean, obviously, it's been a difficult time for you,
684
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,807
since your fella ran off with the milkman,
685
00:53:09,815 --> 00:53:11,783
and now you've got this opportunity,
686
00:53:11,784 --> 00:53:13,713
I don't want you to give another thought to me.
687
00:53:13,820 --> 00:53:19,382
You... you go to his villa, and enjoy yourself.
Give his olives a good pressing!
688
00:53:19,692 --> 00:53:23,421
Shirley,... thanks for being so understanding.
689
00:53:30,133 --> 00:53:31,599
Shirley.
690
00:53:33,271 --> 00:53:36,103
Shirley,... where are ya going?
691
00:53:36,107 --> 00:53:37,801
We said we'd gift you a lift to the ferry.
692
00:53:37,809 --> 00:53:40,671
No, I'm fine on me own, thanks.
693
00:53:56,059 --> 00:53:57,649
Alright, love?
694
00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:31,315
Here we are, love. You sit here.
695
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:34,428
Oh, no, no, thanks.
I'd rather stand; you can see more.
696
00:54:34,529 --> 00:54:36,357
I don't blame you, love.
697
00:54:36,365 --> 00:54:38,898
You don't know what's
been on these seats, do ya?
698
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,162
D'ya know what I mean?
699
00:55:07,905 --> 00:55:11,826
- We usually go to Laurette, don't we?
- We couldn't get booked, could we?
700
00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:14,605
- Aye, we usually go to Majorca, but...
- Ah, yes.
701
00:55:21,406 --> 00:55:23,968
The travel agent said we'd like it here.
702
00:55:24,585 --> 00:55:27,782
- I'm a bit dubious myself.
- Where's the disco?
703
00:55:27,865 --> 00:55:31,212
- Where's the bar?
- There's more life in a crematorium.
704
00:55:31,213 --> 00:55:32,713
- Oh, Sydney.
705
00:55:33,063 --> 00:55:35,892
It was like I'd come to the far side of Paradise,...
706
00:55:35,917 --> 00:55:37,912
and I loved it.
707
00:55:40,498 --> 00:55:43,102
Jane never did come back that night, you know,...
708
00:55:43,169 --> 00:55:44,679
or the next morning.
709
00:55:44,929 --> 00:55:47,290
At first, I was a bit scared, being on my own,
710
00:55:47,374 --> 00:55:49,477
but then I found this little place.
711
00:55:49,644 --> 00:55:52,606
I thought, why am I so
terrified of being on me own?
712
00:55:52,607 --> 00:55:56,726
I'm and expert at it!
And then I started to relax.
713
00:56:00,127 --> 00:56:03,227
She still hasn't come back, you know,
has she, wall?
714
00:56:04,327 --> 00:56:06,352
They must be marvellous olives!
715
00:56:15,053 --> 00:56:17,290
Funny, isn't it, that if you're a woman on her own,
716
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:19,951
it doesn't half seem to upset people.
717
00:56:24,052 --> 00:56:26,998
- Hiya, Renos.
- Good evening, Madam,...
718
00:56:27,199 --> 00:56:28,350
- and how are you this evening?
719
00:56:28,351 --> 00:56:32,182
- Marvellous, thanks. How are you?
- Good, I'm good.
720
00:56:32,283 --> 00:56:34,763
I feel a little pain in the back,
721
00:56:34,764 --> 00:56:39,939
but I say to myself, "If I feel a little pain
in the back, at least it means I'm not dead".
722
00:56:41,540 --> 00:56:44,602
Now, tonight I have for you some calamares,...
723
00:56:44,603 --> 00:56:48,860
cooked with a little garlic, yes...
and butter and lemon. Plenty of Lemon!
724
00:56:48,861 --> 00:56:50,555
- It's beautiful.
- Lovely.
725
00:56:50,556 --> 00:56:52,868
- Bon appetit, Madam.
- Thanks.
726
00:56:58,069 --> 00:57:02,033
Now, listen,... you can't go on like this.
727
00:57:02,534 --> 00:57:03,880
Pardon?
728
00:57:05,381 --> 00:57:07,259
It's not right!
729
00:57:07,460 --> 00:57:10,564
We can't help noticing that you're on your own.
730
00:57:10,565 --> 00:57:11,648
Who?
731
00:57:11,649 --> 00:57:14,320
So we've arranged for another chair at our table.
732
00:57:14,321 --> 00:57:16,574
Oh, no, no, thanks very much, but...
733
00:57:16,575 --> 00:57:19,020
We want you to come and join us.
734
00:57:19,021 --> 00:57:22,551
- No, no, thanks very much. I'd really much...
- Now, come on, love.
735
00:57:22,652 --> 00:57:24,642
I'll take ya drink.
736
00:57:31,543 --> 00:57:34,213
I wouldn't be surprised if they
all burst out into applause,
737
00:57:34,214 --> 00:57:36,215
'cause I've been rescued from loneliness by
738
00:57:36,216 --> 00:57:38,653
Jeannette and Dougie,... from Manchester.
739
00:57:38,654 --> 00:57:40,691
- Make yourself at home.
740
00:57:41,392 --> 00:57:45,894
Now,... have you got a "jacuzzi"?
741
00:57:47,095 --> 00:57:49,840
- Er,... no.
- Well,...
742
00:57:49,841 --> 00:57:53,846
maybe it's just the thing you've been waiting for,...
743
00:57:53,847 --> 00:57:57,309
because you always wanted a jacuzzi,
didn't you, Jeanette?
744
00:57:57,310 --> 00:58:02,112
I'd had dreams about getting a jacuzzi.
Michael Caine's got one, ya know.
745
00:58:02,113 --> 00:58:03,313
Ohhh...
746
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,268
- So, we get this jacuzzi, like,
747
00:58:05,269 --> 00:58:09,033
but what we found was,
we couldn't fit it in our bathroom,...
748
00:58:09,334 --> 00:58:11,334
so, what I did was...
749
00:58:11,434 --> 00:58:15,324
- We built an extension!
- I built an extension, didn't I?
750
00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:17,586
It's a good job we're not having soup,
751
00:58:17,587 --> 00:58:19,916
or I'd put my head in it, and drown myself.
752
00:58:20,017 --> 00:58:22,802
- Finished?
- Well, I couldn't eat that!
753
00:58:27,403 --> 00:58:31,285
You can say what you like...
It's not Laurette, is it?
754
00:58:31,286 --> 00:58:35,826
- Aye, but the thing is, Dougie,
I could like Greece, I could,...
755
00:58:35,827 --> 00:58:37,664
if it were more like Spain.
756
00:58:37,865 --> 00:58:40,115
- I take your point, yeah.
757
00:58:40,116 --> 00:58:45,416
- But, it's not, is it?
- No, it's not, and I'll tell you why...
758
00:58:45,417 --> 00:58:48,205
I'll tell you why Greece isn't like Spain.
759
00:58:48,406 --> 00:58:52,980
Because Greece... well, it's all too Greek.
Take me point?
760
00:58:53,081 --> 00:58:55,418
And that's what's wrong with Greece.
761
00:58:55,919 --> 00:58:58,188
- It's like them fishing boats out there in the bay...
762
00:58:58,189 --> 00:59:00,851
I said to her this morning, didn't I, Thelma?
763
00:59:01,052 --> 00:59:05,185
- I said to her, "If you take a
close look at the side them boats"...
764
00:59:05,186 --> 00:59:07,798
- "You know the bit where it says
the name of the boat builder?"...
765
00:59:07,799 --> 00:59:12,508
- "And I 'll bet you a pound
to a penny, it says Noah".
766
00:59:14,409 --> 00:59:17,587
Didn't I say that to ya? I bloody did!
767
00:59:18,488 --> 00:59:20,381
Okay, excuse me.
768
00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:23,532
You do watch the Olympic games, I take it?
769
00:59:23,733 --> 00:59:27,797
And you do realise it was the Greeks
who invented the Olympic games?
770
00:59:27,798 --> 00:59:32,163
Oh, yes, Jeanette, they invented
a lot of things, the Greeks.
771
00:59:32,164 --> 00:59:34,066
Where do you suppose your jacuzzi came from?
772
00:59:34,167 --> 00:59:37,489
- K-Mart.
- Yes, but who invented it?
773
00:59:37,490 --> 00:59:41,204
The Greeks! Actually, the Greeks.
774
00:59:41,305 --> 00:59:43,558
And it was the Greeks, I'll have you know,
775
00:59:43,559 --> 00:59:47,831
who were responsible for the most
important invention of all... The wheel!
776
00:59:48,032 --> 00:59:50,552
The English? Don't talk to me about the English,
777
00:59:50,553 --> 00:59:54,267
because while the Greeks were building
roads, and cities, and temples,
778
00:59:54,268 --> 00:59:56,981
what were the English doing?
I'll tell you what the English were doing,
779
00:59:56,982 --> 00:59:58,902
they were running around in loincloths,
780
00:59:58,903 --> 01:00:02,451
ploughing up the earth with
the arse bone of a giraffe!
781
01:00:13,752 --> 01:00:15,144
- Madam.
782
01:00:19,645 --> 01:00:23,885
Hey,... mate,... what is this?
783
01:00:23,986 --> 01:00:27,490
- It's calamares, Sir.
- I know that,
784
01:00:27,491 --> 01:00:31,823
but what I'm asking you,... Zorba...
785
01:00:31,824 --> 01:00:34,377
is, what is it?
786
01:00:34,378 --> 01:00:37,149
Sir, it's calamares.
787
01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:40,080
It's a... type of fish!
788
01:00:40,681 --> 01:00:43,217
Well, it don't look much like fish to me.
789
01:00:43,218 --> 01:00:46,263
Sir, I can promise you, it's fish.
790
01:00:46,264 --> 01:00:50,547
This fish was pulled fresh from
sea this evening by my brother,...
791
01:00:50,548 --> 01:00:53,270
in a boat, called, "Noah".
792
01:00:54,971 --> 01:00:56,816
- Enjoy your meal.
793
01:01:01,717 --> 01:01:04,654
They're that type, you know...
If they'd been at the last supper,
794
01:01:04,655 --> 01:01:06,629
they'd have asked for chips.
795
01:01:09,330 --> 01:01:11,696
Very nice the squid, isn't it?
796
01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:16,299
What?
797
01:01:16,900 --> 01:01:20,787
I say, the squid, the octopus,... it's really quite nice.
798
01:01:53,488 --> 01:01:55,015
- Madam...
799
01:01:55,016 --> 01:01:58,094
- You will join with your friends?
- No, I don't think so, Renos.
800
01:01:58,095 --> 01:02:01,776
After what I said at dinner time,
I don't think I'd be too popular, do you?
801
01:02:01,777 --> 01:02:07,177
- Maybe not. Have a good evening.
- Thank you, Renos.
802
01:03:10,217 --> 01:03:12,004
You like something?
803
01:03:12,305 --> 01:03:15,009
Er, yeah, I'd like a drink please.
804
01:03:15,010 --> 01:03:17,980
Sure... Gin, whisky, what?
805
01:03:17,981 --> 01:03:20,994
Er, no, wine. Weak,... weak wine.
806
01:03:21,095 --> 01:03:22,613
- Ah, retsina?
807
01:03:22,814 --> 01:03:28,241
- Will I like that?
- It's Greek. I think you like.
808
01:03:29,242 --> 01:03:30,878
Spiro, retsina.
809
01:03:30,879 --> 01:03:32,783
Hey, hey, hey, excuse me.
810
01:03:34,284 --> 01:03:36,946
I know this sounds a bit soft, but would you mind,...
811
01:03:36,947 --> 01:03:41,954
I mean like, would you object if I was
to move this table and chair over there
812
01:03:41,955 --> 01:03:44,229
by the edge of the sea?
813
01:03:46,830 --> 01:03:50,162
You want I move table, chair to edge of sea?
814
01:03:50,963 --> 01:03:53,851
- Yeah.
- Why?
815
01:03:53,952 --> 01:03:55,798
You don't like my bar?
816
01:03:56,199 --> 01:03:57,653
Yeah,...
817
01:03:57,654 --> 01:04:00,054
it's a lovely bar, it's,...
818
01:04:00,154 --> 01:04:02,515
it's just that I've got this soft little dream about
819
01:04:02,516 --> 01:04:04,677
sitting at a table by the edge of the sea.
820
01:04:04,678 --> 01:04:06,898
Ah, a dream.
821
01:04:07,499 --> 01:04:10,972
So, I move table to edge of sea,...
822
01:04:11,673 --> 01:04:14,288
I make your dream come true?
823
01:04:16,689 --> 01:04:18,368
Yeah, I think so.
824
01:04:19,369 --> 01:04:21,940
Sure, it's no problem.
825
01:04:47,141 --> 01:04:49,520
- Thanks.
- Oh, it's my pleasure.
826
01:04:50,021 --> 01:04:53,167
I move table to sea, and tonight in my bar,
827
01:04:53,168 --> 01:04:55,922
I can tell the customers, "Tonight...", er,...
828
01:04:55,923 --> 01:05:00,716
"Tonight, I make someone's dream come true".
Please...
829
01:05:46,617 --> 01:05:48,505
It's funny, isn't it?
830
01:05:49,706 --> 01:05:52,494
You know, when you picture something,...
831
01:05:52,695 --> 01:05:54,731
and you've imagined how something's going to be...
832
01:05:54,732 --> 01:05:57,706
Well, it never turns out like that, does it?
833
01:05:59,707 --> 01:06:03,338
I mean, for weeks I've pictured myself sitting here,...
834
01:06:04,339 --> 01:06:07,302
sitting here, drinking wine, by the sea,
835
01:06:07,303 --> 01:06:10,537
and, and, I knew exactly how I was going to feel.
836
01:06:13,538 --> 01:06:16,471
Now I'm here, it doesn't feel a bit like that.
837
01:06:18,672 --> 01:06:21,975
I don't feel at all lovely, and serene. I feel...
838
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:26,279
pretty daft, actually.
839
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:30,299
- And awfully,...
840
01:06:30,900 --> 01:06:32,900
- awfully old.
841
01:06:40,500 --> 01:06:42,691
- I've lead such a little life,...
842
01:06:44,892 --> 01:06:47,808
and even that could be over pretty soon.
843
01:06:50,309 --> 01:06:55,008
I have... allowed myself to lead this little life,
844
01:06:55,009 --> 01:06:57,792
when inside me, there is so much more,...
845
01:06:59,993 --> 01:07:02,173
and it's all gone unused,...
846
01:07:03,474 --> 01:07:05,633
and now it never will be.
847
01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:13,534
Why do we get all this life if we don't ever use it?
848
01:07:15,435 --> 01:07:17,566
Why do we get all these...
849
01:07:19,567 --> 01:07:21,239
feelings,...
850
01:07:23,140 --> 01:07:25,906
and dreams, and hopes...
851
01:07:28,207 --> 01:07:30,662
if we don't ever use them?
852
01:07:36,263 --> 01:07:39,219
That's where Shirley Valentine disappeared to.
853
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:44,500
She got lost in all this unused life.
854
01:08:18,401 --> 01:08:20,005
Dreams,...
855
01:08:21,606 --> 01:08:25,349
they are never in the place you expect them to be.
856
01:08:37,450 --> 01:08:41,268
Come, I er,... I escort you to your hotel.
857
01:08:44,169 --> 01:08:45,594
Okay.
858
01:08:48,895 --> 01:08:52,801
I am... I am Costas Demitriadis.
859
01:08:53,602 --> 01:08:55,131
I'm Shirley...
860
01:08:56,232 --> 01:08:58,286
- Hello.
- Hello.
861
01:09:08,987 --> 01:09:10,439
Thanks for seeing me home.
862
01:09:10,440 --> 01:09:13,175
No, I er,... I enjoy it.
863
01:09:17,376 --> 01:09:18,872
So...
864
01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:23,270
Er,... tomorrow, you want come with me?
865
01:09:23,671 --> 01:09:24,689
Pardon?
866
01:09:24,690 --> 01:09:28,704
I... I take brother's boat. We go round the island.
867
01:09:29,705 --> 01:09:31,299
Oh, no, no, thanks.
868
01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:33,754
I mean, honestly, you've been really kind, but...
869
01:09:33,755 --> 01:09:35,290
No, it's no problem.
870
01:09:35,691 --> 01:09:39,931
It's no problem. It's my pleasure.
I umm, I come bring you early.
871
01:09:40,232 --> 01:09:43,111
No,... no, no, really. I don't think I should, because...
872
01:09:43,112 --> 01:09:46,349
- You're afraid.
- No, no, of course not.
873
01:09:46,350 --> 01:09:47,568
You're afraid.
874
01:09:47,569 --> 01:09:50,933
You're afraid that, I want make fuck with you.
875
01:09:51,534 --> 01:09:53,008
What?
876
01:09:54,109 --> 01:09:55,509
Hahaha...
877
01:09:56,009 --> 01:09:58,345
Of course, I want make fuck with you...
878
01:09:58,346 --> 01:10:00,049
You are beautiful woman...
879
01:10:00,050 --> 01:10:03,162
A man would be crazy not to
want make fuck with you,
880
01:10:03,163 --> 01:10:06,209
but... I don't ask you to fuck.
881
01:10:06,610 --> 01:10:09,109
I ask to come on brother's boat.
882
01:10:09,410 --> 01:10:11,010
Different thing.
883
01:10:11,510 --> 01:10:12,954
Boat is boat,...
884
01:10:13,355 --> 01:10:14,857
fuck is fuck.
885
01:10:14,858 --> 01:10:17,523
- Absolutely... bloody... charming!
886
01:10:19,524 --> 01:10:23,128
So, I er,... I come er,...
tomorrow morning 9 o'clock umm,
887
01:10:23,129 --> 01:10:26,687
I bring food, I bring wine, and we go.
888
01:10:27,188 --> 01:10:31,810
Er, tomorrow umm,... I just er,...
make you happy, eh?
889
01:10:32,211 --> 01:10:34,090
No need to be sad.
890
01:10:34,791 --> 01:10:39,541
- And no need to be afraid.
I give word of honour...
891
01:10:40,142 --> 01:10:44,011
I don't try... to make fuck with you.
892
01:10:47,112 --> 01:10:48,483
Okay?
893
01:10:50,684 --> 01:10:52,080
Okay.
894
01:10:53,981 --> 01:10:55,955
See ya in the morning.
895
01:11:12,456 --> 01:11:15,487
Oh, God,... he's come up to me room!
896
01:11:17,188 --> 01:11:19,134
Alright, I'm coming!
897
01:11:24,535 --> 01:11:27,531
Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me?
898
01:11:27,932 --> 01:11:30,722
I've been completely selfish, haven't I?
899
01:11:32,523 --> 01:11:34,686
But I'm going to make it up to you.
900
01:11:35,887 --> 01:11:37,831
- Oh, c'mon, say you forgive me.
901
01:11:37,832 --> 01:11:40,912
- Let's make today the real start of our holiday.
902
01:11:41,113 --> 01:11:43,825
I've hired the car. We'll tow the island...
903
01:11:43,826 --> 01:11:47,415
- Stop off and have lunch somewhere really nice,
just the 2 of us.
904
01:11:48,016 --> 01:11:51,005
Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me?
905
01:11:51,706 --> 01:11:53,940
Of course I forgive you.
906
01:11:53,941 --> 01:11:55,241
- Awww.
907
01:11:58,141 --> 01:12:01,031
I know you must have been
having the most awful time.
908
01:12:01,832 --> 01:12:05,102
I suppose you've just been sitting here,
talking to the wall, haven't you?
909
01:12:05,103 --> 01:12:08,422
Nevermind, I'll do a quick change,
and we'll get straight off.
910
01:12:16,523 --> 01:12:18,485
Yes, what is it, room service?
911
01:12:18,886 --> 01:12:20,890
Shirley, did you order something?
912
01:12:22,591 --> 01:12:23,786
Shirley.
913
01:12:24,387 --> 01:12:26,422
Shirley, you come now?... You late!
914
01:12:26,423 --> 01:12:31,823
I put umm,... food, wine on boat,
and I wait down, but you don't come.
915
01:12:31,924 --> 01:12:36,012
Then... I realisation... umm...
916
01:12:36,013 --> 01:12:40,972
Shirley and me, we are er,
going bed so late last night,
917
01:12:40,973 --> 01:12:41,673
umm,...
918
01:12:41,673 --> 01:12:44,347
- probaby, she's er, overslept.
919
01:12:44,448 --> 01:12:45,848
Oh,... yeah.
920
01:12:45,948 --> 01:12:48,242
- So, umm,... you come now?
921
01:12:48,443 --> 01:12:50,280
I er,... I wait down.
922
01:12:50,681 --> 01:12:52,652
Please... Please hurry.
923
01:12:54,053 --> 01:12:58,719
Oh, I... I umm, apologise for the interrupt...
924
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,472
You may now continue cleaning room.
925
01:13:05,873 --> 01:13:07,213
Shirley...
926
01:13:08,014 --> 01:13:09,514
What are you playing at?!
927
01:13:09,514 --> 01:13:12,968
Me?! You're the one that went
off with the 'walking groin'!
928
01:13:12,969 --> 01:13:15,565
Now, look, Shirley,
you've never been abroad before.
929
01:13:15,566 --> 01:13:19,295
- You don't know what you're doing.
- Jane, he's just a kind man.
930
01:13:19,296 --> 01:13:23,177
Oh, Shirley! Men like that,
these Greek islanders,...
931
01:13:23,178 --> 01:13:25,139
they're just waiting for bored, middle aged women!
932
01:13:25,140 --> 01:13:26,588
Don't you dare!
933
01:13:30,189 --> 01:13:31,409
Shirley!
934
01:13:32,610 --> 01:13:34,763
I just hope you know what you're doing.
935
01:13:34,764 --> 01:13:36,992
I hope for your sake, you're going to be safe.
936
01:13:36,993 --> 01:13:39,747
Oh, I'm sure I will. He's a very good sailor...
937
01:13:39,948 --> 01:13:41,934
And anyway, he's given me his word of honour,
938
01:13:41,935 --> 01:13:44,199
he won't try and make fuck with me.
939
01:13:46,500 --> 01:13:49,556
Dougie! Jeannette! How are you both?
940
01:13:49,557 --> 01:13:51,166
This is my friend Jane.
941
01:13:51,167 --> 01:13:53,880
I was just telling her what
a marvellous couple you are.
942
01:13:54,281 --> 01:13:55,908
Do you know what she said?
943
01:13:56,809 --> 01:13:59,840
She said, she'd love to spend an
hour or 2 on the beach with you.
944
01:14:00,141 --> 01:14:01,626
Bye, bye, Jane.
945
01:14:02,527 --> 01:14:05,892
Well, we were just off to the beach, actually.
946
01:14:06,393 --> 01:14:09,820
You come with us, love. You're more than welcome.
947
01:14:37,421 --> 01:14:39,510
I'm steering the boat, you know.
948
01:14:56,111 --> 01:14:59,108
Shall we try to pass in this direction...
949
01:14:59,809 --> 01:15:02,777
Er, there we are going to find er, small bay.
950
01:15:03,078 --> 01:15:04,878
Very beautiful...
951
01:15:06,378 --> 01:15:08,248
There we are going to fish,...
952
01:15:08,249 --> 01:15:11,097
er, we eat, drink,... talk.
953
01:15:12,098 --> 01:15:13,300
Come on.
954
01:15:44,501 --> 01:15:47,183
- ...but with the rope, you know...
- Ohhh...
955
01:15:53,684 --> 01:15:57,783
- What is it with you, Costas?
- No, I don't, er...
956
01:15:58,384 --> 01:16:01,239
You really know how to talk to women, don't you?
957
01:16:01,740 --> 01:16:03,075
Well, I...
958
01:16:03,976 --> 01:16:05,953
I mean, most fellas, you know,
959
01:16:05,954 --> 01:16:08,074
they've got no idea how to talk to a woman.
960
01:16:08,175 --> 01:16:10,070
- No?
- No.
961
01:16:10,371 --> 01:16:12,517
They feel they have to take over the conversation.
962
01:16:13,818 --> 01:16:16,314
I mean... I mean, with most fellas,
if you say something like...
963
01:16:16,315 --> 01:16:18,591
like, "My favourite season's Autumn", they go,
964
01:16:18,592 --> 01:16:20,621
"Oh, is it? My favourite season's Spring",
965
01:16:20,622 --> 01:16:22,892
and then you've got 10 minutes of them
talking about why they like Spring,
966
01:16:22,893 --> 01:16:25,903
and you aint talking about Spring...
You're talking about Autumn.
967
01:16:30,204 --> 01:16:31,895
So, what d'ya do?
968
01:16:34,896 --> 01:16:37,167
Talk about what they want to talk about,...
969
01:16:38,468 --> 01:16:42,623
or you don't talk at all,...
or you wind up talking to yourself.
970
01:16:46,924 --> 01:16:48,664
You don't do that.
971
01:16:49,664 --> 01:16:51,164
No, I know...
972
01:16:51,865 --> 01:16:54,698
I er,... I just like er, listen...
973
01:16:55,999 --> 01:16:57,752
Also look.
974
01:17:03,553 --> 01:17:05,197
For you, I umm,...
975
01:17:06,098 --> 01:17:07,709
I happy.
976
01:17:17,410 --> 01:17:18,818
Hey, Costas,...
977
01:17:19,619 --> 01:17:21,519
how deep do you think it is down there?
978
01:17:21,619 --> 01:17:25,524
- Oh, maybe a thousand metres.
- Go away!
979
01:17:26,425 --> 01:17:29,515
Maybe er, maybe 10 thousand. Who knows?
980
01:17:30,816 --> 01:17:32,736
Maybe... maybe it's so deep,
981
01:17:33,537 --> 01:17:35,685
it will go on forever.
982
01:17:37,386 --> 01:17:40,056
- I wanna jump in.
- Do you wanna swim?
983
01:17:40,657 --> 01:17:42,564
I wanna jump off the roof!
984
01:17:45,565 --> 01:17:49,457
I think umm,... Shirley Valentine is umm,
985
01:17:49,458 --> 01:17:50,758
little bit crazy.
986
01:17:51,058 --> 01:17:52,083
Costas,...
987
01:17:52,084 --> 01:17:55,884
Shirley Valentine is loop-the-fucking-loop!
988
01:17:55,984 --> 01:17:57,919
Loop-the-fucking-loop?
989
01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:00,742
The only thing is, I... I haven't got me cozzy on.
990
01:18:01,243 --> 01:18:03,085
Now, cozzy, what is?
991
01:18:03,386 --> 01:18:05,486
My swimming costume.
992
01:18:05,479 --> 01:18:06,880
Ahha!
993
01:18:47,081 --> 01:18:48,081
Hey!
994
01:19:07,681 --> 01:19:10,086
It's marvellous to be with such a good man.
995
01:19:11,687 --> 01:19:14,895
I know whatever happens,
he won't take anything from me.
996
01:19:16,596 --> 01:19:18,675
I know he'll keep his promise.
997
01:19:19,576 --> 01:19:22,365
The truth is, I don't want him to.
998
01:20:31,566 --> 01:20:33,485
Oh my God!...
999
01:20:33,586 --> 01:20:36,186
Where did that orchestra come from?!
1000
01:20:36,787 --> 01:20:38,087
Ohh...!
1001
01:20:49,285 --> 01:20:50,385
Oh!...
1002
01:20:53,986 --> 01:20:55,799
He kissed me stretch marks!
1003
01:20:56,900 --> 01:20:58,831
You kissed my stretch marks!
1004
01:20:59,032 --> 01:21:00,532
Oh,... my,...
1005
01:21:01,033 --> 01:21:01,933
don't...
1006
01:21:01,932 --> 01:21:05,063
don't be too stupid to try to hide these lines.
1007
01:21:05,070 --> 01:21:07,163
They... they are lovely,
1008
01:21:07,164 --> 01:21:09,320
because they are part of you,
1009
01:21:09,421 --> 01:21:10,894
and you are lovely,
1010
01:21:10,895 --> 01:21:12,595
so, don't umm,...
1011
01:21:12,596 --> 01:21:14,096
don't hide.
1012
01:21:14,095 --> 01:21:16,314
Be proud, eh. Show them.
1013
01:21:16,315 --> 01:21:19,378
These... these marks show that er,...
1014
01:21:19,379 --> 01:21:20,979
That you're alive...
1015
01:21:21,079 --> 01:21:22,827
That you survive.
1016
01:21:23,328 --> 01:21:27,293
Don't try to hide these lines.
They are the marks of life.
1017
01:21:27,694 --> 01:21:30,069
Aren't men full of shit?!
1018
01:21:43,570 --> 01:21:45,677
I think I've fallen in love.
1019
01:21:47,778 --> 01:21:49,563
Oh, for God's sake, Shirley!
1020
01:21:49,564 --> 01:21:51,601
You're acting like a stupid teenager!
1021
01:21:52,202 --> 01:21:54,271
I s'pose the next thing you're gonna tell me was that
1022
01:21:54,272 --> 01:21:55,816
the earth moved.
1023
01:21:55,917 --> 01:21:58,270
Jane, I thought there'd been an earthquake.
1024
01:21:58,271 --> 01:22:00,860
Oh, spare me the details,... please!
1025
01:22:02,261 --> 01:22:04,433
Oh, listen, Jane...
1026
01:22:04,434 --> 01:22:05,734
Jane, listen!
1027
01:22:06,034 --> 01:22:08,430
I... I haven't fallen in love with him.
1028
01:22:08,931 --> 01:22:12,686
It was sweet. It was a day full of... kindness,
1029
01:22:13,187 --> 01:22:15,299
but I haven't fallen in love with him!
1030
01:22:15,700 --> 01:22:16,700
- Pffft.
1031
01:22:20,300 --> 01:22:22,248
I haven't fallen in love with him,...
1032
01:22:24,749 --> 01:22:27,541
I've fallen in love with the idea of living.
1033
01:22:29,942 --> 01:22:31,151
Why?
1034
01:22:31,652 --> 01:22:33,974
I mean, why'd she have to do this to me?
1035
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:37,069
If she wanted to go on holiday...
1036
01:22:37,270 --> 01:22:40,736
all she had to do was ask. I'd have let her.
1037
01:22:41,737 --> 01:22:43,748
There was no need for deceit.
1038
01:22:44,049 --> 01:22:47,155
I mean, I may not be the best
husband in the world,... wall,
1039
01:22:47,156 --> 01:22:48,456
but I love her.
1040
01:22:48,556 --> 01:22:51,987
I do, I love her... Honest!
1041
01:22:52,588 --> 01:22:54,168
Flowers...
1042
01:22:54,969 --> 01:22:57,137
- Are they good?
- Yes, good flowers.
1043
01:22:57,438 --> 01:22:59,388
- How much is it?
- 500
1044
01:23:01,888 --> 01:23:02,988
Here ya are.
1045
01:23:03,289 --> 01:23:07,095
- Thank you very much.
- Oh, thank you.
1046
01:23:11,496 --> 01:23:13,649
- Bravo, Miguelo! Bravo!
1047
01:23:15,850 --> 01:23:17,350
- Bravo, Miguelo!
1048
01:23:48,350 --> 01:23:49,654
Shirley!
1049
01:23:50,955 --> 01:23:53,625
Come this way, come... Join the family.
1050
01:23:53,626 --> 01:23:54,926
My neice is becoming married.
1051
01:23:54,930 --> 01:23:56,221
No, no, I can't.
1052
01:23:56,222 --> 01:23:58,259
- I would be interfering...
- Oh, come, come, look, please.
1053
01:23:58,460 --> 01:24:01,018
It's good... it's good that we meet here.
1054
01:26:11,619 --> 01:26:12,932
Bravo!
1055
01:26:20,233 --> 01:26:22,731
- You enjoy this wedding?
- It's wonderful!
1056
01:26:24,332 --> 01:26:26,937
The man that standing there, in the denim jacket...
1057
01:26:27,838 --> 01:26:29,658
I'll tell you something really funny...
1058
01:26:29,859 --> 01:26:33,759
For 2 years...
- Sorry, Madam, I need to borrow Costas!
1059
01:27:12,865 --> 01:27:15,070
Shirley... Shirley...
1060
01:27:15,071 --> 01:27:16,571
Where are you going?
1061
01:27:16,580 --> 01:27:19,983
You don't like my family, my friends?
1062
01:27:19,984 --> 01:27:22,513
Oh, no, Costas, they're lovely!
1063
01:27:22,514 --> 01:27:24,838
So, why... why you go?
1064
01:27:24,939 --> 01:27:28,439
I just... I just wanna be on my own for a bit.
1065
01:27:29,850 --> 01:27:31,046
Do you undertstand?
1066
01:27:32,047 --> 01:27:34,168
You... you are again sad?
1067
01:27:35,469 --> 01:27:36,430
No.
1068
01:27:37,431 --> 01:27:39,401
No, I'm not sad, it's...
1069
01:27:39,602 --> 01:27:42,207
just that I go back home... soon.
1070
01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:46,096
Back to your own life.
1071
01:27:47,197 --> 01:27:48,554
Yeah.
1072
01:27:50,955 --> 01:27:54,343
Go on,.... go, go back, they're all waiting for ya!
1073
01:27:54,344 --> 01:27:55,548
Why...?
1074
01:27:58,149 --> 01:28:01,968
- I... I see you tomorrow?
- Yeah, see you tomorrow.
1075
01:28:23,969 --> 01:28:26,217
I've got this thought in my head.
1076
01:28:28,518 --> 01:28:30,356
This shocking thought,
1077
01:28:31,957 --> 01:28:33,712
and it won't go away.
1078
01:28:35,613 --> 01:28:38,433
I keep trying to think of other things,...
1079
01:28:38,434 --> 01:28:41,001
to make this thought go away, but it won't.
1080
01:28:43,302 --> 01:28:45,628
It's always there, in me head.
1081
01:28:59,429 --> 01:29:01,045
If...
1082
01:29:04,346 --> 01:29:08,422
if for some reason... I didn't go back home,...
1083
01:29:10,923 --> 01:29:13,049
who would miss me?
1084
01:29:24,649 --> 01:29:25,749
Aye?
1085
01:29:26,650 --> 01:29:30,333
- 2 coffees, please.
- Oh, yeah.
1086
01:29:32,434 --> 01:29:34,546
Yeah, 2 coffees... Right.
1087
01:29:39,147 --> 01:29:40,816
I mean, look...
1088
01:29:41,517 --> 01:29:44,415
If I didn't go back, who would really care?
1089
01:29:45,816 --> 01:29:52,136
They... they... they'd notice I wasn't there,
but they wouldn'y miss me,... would they?
1090
01:29:56,237 --> 01:30:00,458
Why should I go back to being that woman,
when that woman isn't needed anymore?
1091
01:30:01,859 --> 01:30:03,181
I told ya,...
1092
01:30:05,582 --> 01:30:07,765
there's nothing else for me to do.
1093
01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:13,465
Oh.
1094
01:30:15,266 --> 01:30:18,989
- Shirley, who are you talking?
- The wall, Costas...
1095
01:30:19,690 --> 01:30:20,990
Just the wall.
1096
01:30:23,370 --> 01:30:24,855
My God!
1097
01:30:29,256 --> 01:30:31,551
Excuse me, waiter.
1098
01:30:31,552 --> 01:30:33,722
I'm serious, Jane. I mean it.
1099
01:30:33,723 --> 01:30:36,619
Oh, for God's sake!
What about your children, for a start?!
1100
01:30:36,620 --> 01:30:39,632
What about them? They're grown up.
1101
01:30:39,633 --> 01:30:43,448
Jane, I've spent 20 odd years, rearing them,
1102
01:30:43,449 --> 01:30:45,884
looking after them 'til they were
old enough to make their own way,
1103
01:30:45,885 --> 01:30:47,605
and they have... They've gone.
1104
01:30:48,206 --> 01:30:52,379
Oh, I mean, they'll say it's awful...
They'll say it's terrible
1105
01:30:52,380 --> 01:30:56,260
to have a Mother who went on holiday,
and didn't come back, but...
1106
01:30:56,261 --> 01:30:57,914
they'll get over it.
1107
01:30:59,214 --> 01:31:00,614
I mean,...
1108
01:31:01,015 --> 01:31:04,653
would it cause anyone any real
suffering if I didn't go home?
1109
01:31:07,054 --> 01:31:10,660
- Would it, Jane?
- Shirley, every year,
1110
01:31:10,661 --> 01:31:13,373
millions and millions of people go on holiday,
1111
01:31:13,374 --> 01:31:17,169
and every year, those same millions and
millions of people have such a good time
1112
01:31:17,170 --> 01:31:19,092
that they don't wanna go back.
1113
01:31:19,693 --> 01:31:22,471
- Yeah, but just supposing...
- And that's all there is to it.
1114
01:31:22,472 --> 01:31:25,828
Now, if you don't mind, Shirley,
I'm trying to order lunch.
1115
01:31:26,829 --> 01:31:29,109
Can we have 2 Greek salads please?
1116
01:31:29,610 --> 01:31:32,731
- And... stuffed tomatoes.
- Yeah.
1117
01:31:33,032 --> 01:31:34,642
- And is the mussaka special?
- Yes.
1118
01:31:34,743 --> 01:31:38,013
- Yeah, mussaka special please.
- And one lamb with green beans.
1119
01:31:38,014 --> 01:31:39,036
- Yeah,...
1120
01:31:40,537 --> 01:31:43,566
because we don't do what
we want to do, do we?
1121
01:31:44,267 --> 01:31:47,616
We do what we have to do,
and pretend it's what we want to do.
1122
01:31:48,517 --> 01:31:53,318
And what I want to do is to stay here,
and be Shirley Valentine,...
1123
01:31:54,319 --> 01:31:56,821
but what I have to do is to go back,...
1124
01:31:56,822 --> 01:31:59,808
back to being Saint Joan of the kitchen sink.
1125
01:32:03,709 --> 01:32:07,508
- Shirley, come on, it's just going!
- I'm coming!
1126
01:32:08,509 --> 01:32:11,113
Goodbye, Renos... thanks.
1127
01:32:11,914 --> 01:32:14,851
Madam, you come back next year, I hope.
1128
01:32:14,852 --> 01:32:19,094
- Oh, Renos, I hope.
- Good trip, Madam.
1129
01:32:20,995 --> 01:32:22,695
Thank you, Renos.
1130
01:32:24,495 --> 01:32:28,305
- Shirley, your bags are onboard. Come on!
1131
01:32:36,206 --> 01:32:38,663
Shirley! There you go.
1132
01:32:41,164 --> 01:32:44,619
Costas,... we said goodbye.
1133
01:32:44,820 --> 01:32:48,655
Yes, but umm,... I am here.
1134
01:32:50,956 --> 01:32:52,202
So...
1135
01:32:54,003 --> 01:32:55,723
Goodbye, Shirley...
1136
01:32:56,924 --> 01:32:59,323
Goodbye, Shirley Valentine.
1137
01:33:01,324 --> 01:33:02,916
See ya, Costas.
1138
01:33:05,817 --> 01:33:08,017
- Ohhh...
- Ohhh...
1139
01:33:46,217 --> 01:33:48,479
- There are 2 of you?
- Yeah, 2.
1140
01:33:59,280 --> 01:34:00,410
Thank you.
1141
01:34:01,011 --> 01:34:02,111
Right then.
1142
01:34:02,411 --> 01:34:03,855
Your attention please...
1143
01:34:03,856 --> 01:34:08,513
This is the last call for Olympic
Airways flight 259, to Manchester...
1144
01:34:08,514 --> 01:34:11,372
Closing now at gate number 1.
1145
01:34:19,273 --> 01:34:20,642
Shirley!
1146
01:34:21,543 --> 01:34:23,741
Shirley, where are you going?!
1147
01:34:24,742 --> 01:34:26,068
Shirley!
1148
01:34:31,669 --> 01:34:34,539
- She's gone.
- What d'ya expect?
1149
01:34:34,540 --> 01:34:36,282
Jeanette.
1150
01:34:49,083 --> 01:34:52,020
- And tomorrow, we take my brother's boat...
1151
01:34:52,021 --> 01:34:55,612
Go all round the island. Afraid?
1152
01:34:57,113 --> 01:34:59,883
Afraid that I want try make fuck with you.
1153
01:34:59,884 --> 01:35:01,111
What?
1154
01:35:01,512 --> 01:35:05,374
But I don't ask to try to make fuck with you, I...
1155
01:35:05,375 --> 01:35:08,906
I ask to come brother's boat.
It's different thing...
1156
01:35:09,107 --> 01:35:12,853
Boat is boat, and fuck is... fuck.
1157
01:35:16,554 --> 01:35:20,548
My goodness!
E... e... excuse me for one moment.
1158
01:35:23,649 --> 01:35:26,269
It's alright, Costas, you don't have to worry.
1159
01:35:26,470 --> 01:35:28,098
You lose the plane?
1160
01:35:28,099 --> 01:35:31,222
Don't worry, Costas, I haven't come back for you!
1161
01:35:32,423 --> 01:35:36,052
I've come back for a job. A job in this taverna.
1162
01:35:36,053 --> 01:35:40,286
- You sure? You... you want work here?
- Yeah, why not?
1163
01:35:40,287 --> 01:35:42,991
I mean, this place could do with someone to sort it out.
1164
01:35:42,992 --> 01:35:47,849
I mean, given the amount of time
you spend on your brother's boat.
1165
01:36:08,150 --> 01:36:11,941
Sorry, Joe,... she's not coming back.
1166
01:36:18,442 --> 01:36:22,897
...and I'll tell you what, and I'll tell you what,
I said, "Never again, Douglas".
1167
01:37:05,998 --> 01:37:09,785
Shirley...
Someone to see you on the telephone.
1168
01:37:18,286 --> 01:37:20,539
- Hello.
- You're a disgrace!
1169
01:37:20,540 --> 01:37:24,920
A bloody disgrace,... to... t... to the children,
1170
01:37:24,921 --> 01:37:27,678
to me,... to yourself!
1171
01:37:28,079 --> 01:37:31,517
I'm a laughing stock.
That's what I am, a laughing stock!
1172
01:37:31,918 --> 01:37:35,689
- Listen, Joe, umm, I can't talk now, I'm busy.
1173
01:37:35,690 --> 01:37:37,384
- Ya busy doing what? What ya doing?
1174
01:37:37,385 --> 01:37:39,579
I'm... I'm working. D'ya understand?
1175
01:37:39,580 --> 01:37:41,718
No, I bloody don't understand!
1176
01:37:42,619 --> 01:37:45,214
I've taken time from work because of you.
1177
01:37:45,315 --> 01:37:48,044
- Stop this arsing around,
and get yourself back home!
1178
01:37:48,045 --> 01:37:49,590
I've had just about enough...
1179
01:37:50,591 --> 01:37:52,077
Hello?
1180
01:37:52,578 --> 01:37:54,149
Shirley?
1181
01:37:55,950 --> 01:37:57,819
Shirl', are you there?
1182
01:38:07,420 --> 01:38:12,694
- Here, Miss? Er, what's this er, klef...
- Kleftiko. It's very nice.
1183
01:38:12,695 --> 01:38:15,824
- Oh, you're English!
- Well, what a relief!
1184
01:38:15,825 --> 01:38:20,182
- Well, what is this klef... klef...?
- Kleftiko. Oh, it's lovely.
1185
01:38:20,183 --> 01:38:23,304
It's lamb cooked very,
very slowly in oregano.
1186
01:38:23,505 --> 01:38:27,611
- No, I... I... I don't think so.
- It's all bit umm, umm,...
1187
01:38:27,612 --> 01:38:31,768
Tell ya what. Listen er, it's not on the menu,
1188
01:38:31,769 --> 01:38:34,147
but would ya like me to do
ya both some chips n' egg?
1189
01:38:34,148 --> 01:38:36,676
- Ohhh, yes!
- Smashing!
1190
01:38:36,877 --> 01:38:38,201
Right.
1191
01:38:41,102 --> 01:38:44,473
- I'm phoning from work, because
our phone's out of order, that's why.
1192
01:38:44,474 --> 01:38:45,833
- Why?
1193
01:38:45,934 --> 01:38:48,062
It's costing me a bleeding
fortune this time of the day...
1194
01:38:48,063 --> 01:38:49,683
Now, listen to me, Shirl',...
1195
01:38:49,784 --> 01:38:51,904
you belong back here!
1196
01:38:52,405 --> 01:38:55,192
Don't put the phone down.
Don't... Hello, Shirley?
1197
01:38:55,393 --> 01:38:56,748
Now, listen,...
1198
01:38:56,949 --> 01:38:59,953
Jane's told me all about it, you know, about umm,...
1199
01:39:00,154 --> 01:39:03,514
about you, making a fool of yourself
with this holiday romance thing.
1200
01:39:03,515 --> 01:39:06,093
- No... no, Joe, you've got it all wrong.
1201
01:39:06,094 --> 01:39:10,141
- O... o... okay umm,... alright,
okay, it happens, okay,
1202
01:39:10,142 --> 01:39:13,932
middle aged women makes fools of
themselves when they go abroad,
1203
01:39:14,233 --> 01:39:18,823
but look, I'm prepared to
forgive ya, if you're prepared
1204
01:39:18,924 --> 01:39:22,730
to promise that you'll get yourself on a plane,
1205
01:39:22,731 --> 01:39:24,425
and get yourself back home.
1206
01:39:24,426 --> 01:39:27,757
Joe, will ya listen for one moment?
Will ya just listen?!
1207
01:39:29,258 --> 01:39:33,015
The only holiday romance I've had is with myself,...
1208
01:39:34,016 --> 01:39:35,333
and...
1209
01:39:35,634 --> 01:39:38,634
and I think I've come to like myself really.
1210
01:39:39,134 --> 01:39:41,037
I think I'm alright.
1211
01:39:41,738 --> 01:39:45,788
I think if I saw myself, I'd say, "That woman's okay".
1212
01:39:46,689 --> 01:39:50,010
- But, Shirl', ya can't just run away from life.
1213
01:39:50,011 --> 01:39:52,256
- That's right, Joe, I agree with you!
1214
01:39:52,757 --> 01:39:54,476
And now that I have found some life,
1215
01:39:54,477 --> 01:39:57,138
I have no intention of running away from it.
1216
01:39:57,139 --> 01:39:58,458
- But you belong back here.
1217
01:39:58,459 --> 01:40:01,028
- Please, Joe. It's no good to keep phoning,
1218
01:40:01,029 --> 01:40:02,900
because I'm not coming back.
1219
01:40:04,401 --> 01:40:07,141
Can't you understand? I'm not coming home.
1220
01:40:08,042 --> 01:40:10,504
But, Shirley, don't you understand, love,...
1221
01:40:11,105 --> 01:40:12,339
you don't know what you're saying,
1222
01:40:12,340 --> 01:40:15,921
because you're going through the... the change of life.
1223
01:40:16,222 --> 01:40:20,338
That's right, Joe. That's exactly what it is...
1224
01:40:21,139 --> 01:40:23,123
It's a change of life.
1225
01:40:27,024 --> 01:40:29,194
Why don't you go and see her, Dad?
1226
01:40:30,195 --> 01:40:32,733
She's in Greece.
She's not down the soddin' road!
1227
01:40:32,734 --> 01:40:35,454
- So? Go to Greece!.
- Go to Greece...
1228
01:40:35,755 --> 01:40:37,467
I've got a business to run!
1229
01:40:37,968 --> 01:40:39,992
What is it with people when they get old?
1230
01:40:40,393 --> 01:40:43,493
Old?... Who's old? I'm only in my forties.
1231
01:40:43,495 --> 01:40:46,907
Yeah, I know,... but you're frightened, aren't ya?
1232
01:40:47,308 --> 01:40:48,442
Frightened of what?
1233
01:40:48,443 --> 01:40:51,031
You're frightened of anything that's different, Dad.
1234
01:40:52,232 --> 01:40:56,198
I used to like you,... I did!
You were great, you know...
1235
01:40:56,199 --> 01:40:58,971
Used to laugh, used to talk to us all.
1236
01:41:00,472 --> 01:41:03,318
You've not half become a boring bastard.
1237
01:41:08,119 --> 01:41:09,921
Oh, here she is!
1238
01:41:10,122 --> 01:41:12,431
- Chips n' egg?
- Smashing!
1239
01:41:15,932 --> 01:41:18,557
- Hello, Costas.
- Hello, Shirl'.
1240
01:41:18,558 --> 01:41:19,758
Hey,...
1241
01:41:20,059 --> 01:41:22,059
come for you, one telegram.
1242
01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:23,360
- Oh...
1243
01:41:26,358 --> 01:41:27,678
Bad news?
1244
01:41:28,578 --> 01:41:29,878
No.
1245
01:41:30,379 --> 01:41:32,884
- No, not really, it's from Joe.
- Ah.
1246
01:41:32,885 --> 01:41:35,397
He's coming to fetch me, to take me back home.
1247
01:41:35,598 --> 01:41:38,789
God, love him.
He must have been watching "Rambo"!
1248
01:41:39,489 --> 01:41:40,689
"Rambo?".
1249
01:41:40,690 --> 01:41:43,545
- What, Joe is coming here?
- Yeah.
1250
01:41:43,946 --> 01:41:46,640
- When er, when he come?
- Er, Friday.
1251
01:41:46,641 --> 01:41:50,744
- Friday er,... tomorrow Friday?
- Yeah.
1252
01:41:52,245 --> 01:41:56,967
Yeah, that's, ohhh, it's pity because...
umm, I received telephone call,
1253
01:41:56,968 --> 01:42:01,725
I must go... er, in Athens.
Er, my sister's very sick... umm,....
1254
01:42:01,726 --> 01:42:04,198
she want me to... to be.
1255
01:42:04,899 --> 01:42:06,046
So...
1256
01:42:06,447 --> 01:42:07,947
I sorry.
1257
01:42:08,947 --> 01:42:10,584
You understand, Shirley?
1258
01:42:11,185 --> 01:42:14,871
Ohhh, yeahhh, Costas, of course I understand!
1259
01:42:19,072 --> 01:42:20,324
Goodnight, Shirley.
1260
01:42:20,325 --> 01:42:22,341
- Goodnight, Julie. Goodnight, John.
1261
01:43:39,042 --> 01:43:41,623
Aww, I hope he stays for a while.
1262
01:43:43,424 --> 01:43:45,512
He needs a holiday.
1263
01:43:47,013 --> 01:43:48,958
He needs to feel the sun on his skin,
1264
01:43:48,959 --> 01:43:52,184
and to be in water that's as deep as forever.
1265
01:44:29,085 --> 01:44:30,530
Joe.
1266
01:44:46,431 --> 01:44:48,410
I didn't recognise ya.
1267
01:44:49,411 --> 01:44:50,832
I know.
1268
01:44:52,433 --> 01:44:56,926
I used to be the Mother. I used to be the wife,...
1269
01:44:58,427 --> 01:45:00,975
but now I'm Shirley Valentine again.
1270
01:45:07,876 --> 01:45:10,148
Would you like to join me for a drink?
1271
01:45:13,149 --> 01:45:14,430
Er,...
1272
01:45:15,931 --> 01:45:17,309
thanks.
1273
01:45:57,710 --> 01:46:07,710
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HOLY HECK HOSTING
101497
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