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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:50,805 --> 00:02:52,466 Hiya, wall. 2 00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,042 Well, what's wrong with that? 3 00:02:57,012 --> 00:03:00,079 There's a woman 3 doors down talks to her microwave. 4 00:03:00,482 --> 00:03:04,719 Talking to a microwave! Wall, what's the world coming to? 5 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:12,318 I know, I'm wicked, aren't I? ...drinking. 6 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,427 I like a glass of wine when I'm doing the cooking. 7 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,854 Don't I, wall? 8 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:23,361 Don't I like a glass of wine when I'm preparing the evening meal? 9 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,294 Chips n' egg. 10 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:32,671 Oh, God! 11 00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:37,946 What'll he be like, eh, wall,... my fella? 12 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:40,249 What'll he be like when he finds out, 13 00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:43,085 he's only getting chips n' egg for his tea? 14 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:46,352 Well, it's Thursday, you see, 15 00:03:46,458 --> 00:03:50,657 and when it's Thursday it has to be steak. It's The 11th Commandment. 16 00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:52,230 Moses declared it: 17 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:56,859 "Though shalt give thy fella steak every Thursday," 18 00:03:57,169 --> 00:04:01,968 "and if though doesn't, thy fella will have one big gob on him all night long." 19 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:06,371 I wouldn't mind, it's not even my bloody fault about the steak. 20 00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:09,844 You see, this morning, Gillian came 'round. 21 00:04:10,614 --> 00:04:12,783 I don't normally have much to do with Gillian. 22 00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:17,447 I'm not saying she's a bragger, but if you've been to Paradise, 23 00:04:17,554 --> 00:04:20,524 she's got a season ticket. She's that type Gillian, you know... 24 00:04:20,623 --> 00:04:23,454 If you've got a headache, she's got a brain tumour. 25 00:04:26,696 --> 00:04:29,688 Oh, hello, Shirley. It appears your bell isn't working. 26 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,029 Do you think perhaps there's something wrong with it? 27 00:04:32,136 --> 00:04:35,400 That's how she talks, Gillian. You know, she begrudges you the breathe. 28 00:04:35,506 --> 00:04:37,169 I dunno. There must be a power-cut. 29 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:41,034 Ah, well, there you see, Eric and I have installed solar energy. 30 00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:43,911 Now, we would never be caught out by a power failure. 31 00:04:44,013 --> 00:04:47,881 Shirley, I've come to ask a favour. Can you come over for a minute? 32 00:04:48,219 --> 00:04:49,809 Oh yeah, yeah, sure. 33 00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:58,387 You see, Eric and I have to go away for a couple of days. 34 00:04:58,494 --> 00:05:02,224 Eric's doing a paper in Brussels. Bloody Brussels! 35 00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:06,233 I said to him, why couldn't it have been Paris, or even Amsterdam? 36 00:05:06,302 --> 00:05:10,971 - I really find Brussels such a bore. - Yeah, must be,... all those sprouts. 37 00:05:11,139 --> 00:05:13,231 I made arrangements for mummy to feed Claymore, 38 00:05:13,241 --> 00:05:15,708 but she finds now, she can't do this evening. 39 00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,237 So, if you could manage... 40 00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:20,371 Now, we keep Claymore's food in here. 41 00:05:20,481 --> 00:05:22,642 Now, it's terribly simple, Shirley. 42 00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:26,584 You simply mix his muesli with about half a pint of milk. 43 00:05:26,687 --> 00:05:27,949 - Doesn't he have meat? 44 00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:31,722 - Oh, Shirley, we haven't had meat in this house for years! 45 00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:33,483 Didn't you know we'd become vegans? 46 00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:36,291 No, I thought you were still Church of England. 47 00:05:38,098 --> 00:05:41,932 Now, it's one bowl, Shirley... One bowl, twice a day. 48 00:05:42,069 --> 00:05:45,562 Claymore loves his muesli, don't you, Clay darling? 49 00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:48,668 A vegetarian bloodhound! 50 00:05:49,743 --> 00:05:54,242 Come on, that's it, Claymore darling. There... hmm? 51 00:05:54,581 --> 00:05:59,548 Oh, Claymore darling, it's your favourite! 52 00:05:59,685 --> 00:06:01,785 I hope you're not sick. 53 00:06:01,787 --> 00:06:05,414 You only had to take one look at that dog to see it was well and truly sick... 54 00:06:05,424 --> 00:06:07,185 Sick of the sight of muesli! 55 00:06:07,226 --> 00:06:12,464 Awww, you're off your food? Because mummy was 5 minutes late with it... 56 00:06:13,098 --> 00:06:14,759 Is that it? 57 00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:16,925 He orders dinner sharp at 17:10, 58 00:06:17,035 --> 00:06:19,004 and then he has a run in the garden. 59 00:06:36,488 --> 00:06:41,484 C'mon, Clay, c'mon. Oh, look, lovely dinner! That's a lovely dinner! 60 00:06:41,492 --> 00:06:45,294 C'mon, eat it up. C'mon, Clay, c'mon. 61 00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:51,794 Aww, it's not natural, is it? 62 00:06:52,336 --> 00:06:55,234 I mean, if God had wanted to create a vegetarian dog, 63 00:06:55,238 --> 00:06:58,164 he wouldn't have made you a bloodhound, would He? 64 00:06:58,275 --> 00:07:02,703 He'd have made you a yogurthound, or a veggie burgerhound. 65 00:07:02,913 --> 00:07:06,741 You're a bloodhound! You need meat! 66 00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:16,724 Wait 'til ya see what I've got for you! 67 00:07:17,793 --> 00:07:19,451 Mmm, what's this? 68 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:27,367 You wait 'til you taste this, Clay! Nice dinner. 69 00:07:27,470 --> 00:07:30,633 You've never tasted anything like this... 70 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:35,304 Now then, you get your chops 'round this! 71 00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:38,175 C'mon, Clay. 72 00:07:38,847 --> 00:07:40,476 It's your birthday. 73 00:07:41,883 --> 00:07:43,215 C'mon. 74 00:07:49,791 --> 00:07:51,915 Ooo, is that lovely? 75 00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:59,697 Greedy guts! That's Joe's tea you're guzzling! 76 00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:03,032 I think chips n' egg's nice for a change, don't you? 77 00:08:04,071 --> 00:08:08,207 Mind you, I don't think Joe will see it quite like that. 78 00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:11,371 Oh, sod it! Have another glass of wine, Shirley. 79 00:08:11,845 --> 00:08:16,209 I never used to drink wine. It was our Millandra got me started on this. 80 00:08:16,216 --> 00:08:17,376 She said to me, she said, 81 00:08:17,384 --> 00:08:20,177 everybody drinks wine now. - I like rum and coke. 82 00:08:20,187 --> 00:08:23,654 For God's sake! Rum and coke went out with the ark! 83 00:08:23,757 --> 00:08:25,488 Didn't it, Sharon Louise, hmm? 84 00:08:25,491 --> 00:08:28,956 Anyway, they don't sell rum and coke in here. It's a wine bar! 85 00:08:29,094 --> 00:08:32,890 - Look,... they sell wine. - What, just wine? 86 00:08:32,898 --> 00:08:34,461 - For God's sake! 87 00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:38,960 But, there's thousands of different varieties of wine, Mrs. Bradshaw. 88 00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:42,869 - I like Alsatian wine. - Well, that's what we're gonna have. 89 00:08:44,042 --> 00:08:47,639 Kids! They know everything, don't they? 90 00:08:47,913 --> 00:08:50,776 Our Millandra shares a flat with Sharon Louise. 91 00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,045 They're fascinated by sex. 92 00:08:55,486 --> 00:08:59,223 Well, I suppose I'd have been the same if I'd been born into their generation, 93 00:08:59,224 --> 00:09:01,554 'cause they discovered it, you see... 94 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,150 The clitoris. 95 00:09:04,396 --> 00:09:06,825 "The clitoris kids", I call them, and good luck to them. 96 00:09:06,831 --> 00:09:08,796 I don't begrudge them a thing. 97 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:13,097 Mind you, it was different in my day. 98 00:09:15,773 --> 00:09:18,137 D'ya know, d'ya know, when I was a girl, 99 00:09:18,143 --> 00:09:20,974 we'd never even heard of the clitoris. - Noone had. 100 00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:22,842 In those days, everyone thought it was a case of 101 00:09:22,847 --> 00:09:25,537 in out, in out, shake it all about. 102 00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:28,377 Stars would light up the sky, and the earth would tremble. 103 00:09:28,385 --> 00:09:31,952 Hey, the only thing that trembled for me was the headboard on the bed. 104 00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:38,192 D'ya know, the first time I read about it, I thought it was pronounced "clit-oris"? 105 00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:40,457 I think it sounds nicer that way. 106 00:09:40,562 --> 00:09:43,360 That even sounds like it could be a name, doesn't it, eh?. 107 00:09:43,399 --> 00:09:46,029 Oh, hiya, Clit-oris, how are ya? 108 00:09:46,869 --> 00:09:49,771 That makes it sound a bit crude somehow. 109 00:09:49,838 --> 00:09:52,070 Oh, shut up. Why not? 110 00:09:52,074 --> 00:09:54,874 Plenty of men walking 'round called Dick. 111 00:09:57,513 --> 00:10:00,075 Well, anyway, that's the way I thought it was pronounced 112 00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,410 when I first mentioned it to Joe. 113 00:10:01,418 --> 00:10:05,245 Ya know, we'd sit there in the front room one night, and I said to him,... 114 00:10:05,552 --> 00:10:08,084 I said, "Joey". I said, "Joe", 115 00:10:08,089 --> 00:10:10,615 "Have you ever heard of the clitoris?" 116 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,317 He didn't even look up from his paper. 117 00:10:12,326 --> 00:10:16,289 "Yeah", he said, "But it doesn't go as well as the Ford Escort". 118 00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:20,362 Ah, they were great those mates. 119 00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:25,338 I don't see them anymore. 120 00:10:28,775 --> 00:10:31,075 Ah, well, that's the way it goes. 121 00:10:31,512 --> 00:10:35,311 And now Millandra's gone and, our Brian's left home as well. 122 00:10:37,184 --> 00:10:39,717 He's living in a squat now in Kirby. 123 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,050 It's like Beirut on a bad day. 124 00:10:42,289 --> 00:10:43,981 Do you like it, mum? 125 00:10:45,058 --> 00:10:49,660 - Well, it's got that lived in look. - We're gonna plant flowers! 126 00:10:49,663 --> 00:10:51,160 Ah, son! 127 00:10:52,898 --> 00:10:56,357 If you're gonna live in a squat, couldn't you pick somewhere nice? 128 00:10:56,369 --> 00:10:58,435 Ya know, somewhere like Walton or Childwall? 129 00:10:58,437 --> 00:11:02,000 Mother, Childwall is no place for a poet. 130 00:11:02,109 --> 00:11:05,299 - A what? - A poet, mum. I've become a poet. 131 00:11:05,311 --> 00:11:08,906 I went down the Jobcentre today, and signed-on as a poet. 132 00:11:09,014 --> 00:11:11,646 Britain's first ever street poet. 133 00:11:12,518 --> 00:11:15,042 Is there much call for that sort of thing 'round here? 134 00:11:15,253 --> 00:11:16,648 Watch... 135 00:11:20,992 --> 00:11:24,127 "Don't rob cars, it's mad, it's bad". 136 00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:26,627 "Think of ya ma's, it'd make 'em sad". 137 00:11:26,765 --> 00:11:30,266 "Ya mothers would get a broken heart if you got smashed up". 138 00:11:30,268 --> 00:11:34,905 "Get wise, get smart,... don't rob cars!". 139 00:11:35,006 --> 00:11:36,537 - Piss Off! 140 00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:45,943 Poets have always had a hard time of it. 141 00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,820 I do miss them though, the kids, don't I, wall? 142 00:12:01,063 --> 00:12:03,222 There's only me and him now. 143 00:12:03,732 --> 00:12:08,131 What's he like,... my fella? What's he like, eh, wall? 144 00:12:08,370 --> 00:12:11,103 Well, he walked in one night with a smile on his face, 145 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:14,539 and we didn't recognise him. Thought we had a lodger, didn't we? 146 00:12:16,578 --> 00:12:20,037 He used to laugh, Joe. We both did. 147 00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:24,610 Hey, wall, do you remember when we first moved in here? 148 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,916 Oh, that seems like a long time ago. 149 00:12:29,057 --> 00:12:31,250 We hadn't long been married. 150 00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:35,263 Hey!! 151 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,691 What? 152 00:12:37,699 --> 00:12:40,167 I can do me own makeup, thank you very much. 153 00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:44,498 Oh, sorry, well it's only a speck. 154 00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:48,136 You're bound to get a bit of paint on you doing a job like this, aren't ya? 155 00:12:57,117 --> 00:12:58,276 Hey? 156 00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:00,277 What? 157 00:13:00,421 --> 00:13:04,479 - You did that on purpose, didn't ya? - What? 158 00:13:05,725 --> 00:13:07,317 Little bugger,... you did this! 159 00:13:07,318 --> 00:13:08,618 No!! 160 00:13:10,963 --> 00:13:13,331 - No, Shirley, stop! 161 00:13:15,768 --> 00:13:17,467 You bugger! 162 00:13:19,168 --> 00:13:20,368 Ta da! 163 00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:23,399 - No, don't! - I'll get you! 164 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,005 No!! 165 00:13:33,553 --> 00:13:35,281 For you, "Van Gogh". 166 00:13:36,888 --> 00:13:39,118 - This is for you, "Mona Lisa". - No! 167 00:13:44,161 --> 00:13:48,857 No, don't! Ah, no don't, Joe. Oh, Joe, please! 168 00:13:52,737 --> 00:13:55,865 You're a bloody nutcase, you! You're loop-the-loop! 169 00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:58,741 No, you're not kissing me like that! 170 00:14:00,511 --> 00:14:03,778 - Go on! - Oh, alright. 171 00:14:11,597 --> 00:14:13,297 It's up me nose! 172 00:14:21,898 --> 00:14:25,525 Aren't we the daring young things, getting a bath together? 173 00:14:25,569 --> 00:14:29,326 - Does this mean we're perverted? - You're a nutcase, you are! 174 00:14:33,810 --> 00:14:36,202 I love you, Shirley Valentine. 175 00:14:39,581 --> 00:14:41,410 Remember that, wall? 176 00:14:41,783 --> 00:14:43,908 He used to love me because I was a nutcase. 177 00:14:43,919 --> 00:14:46,319 Now he just thinks I am a nutcase. 178 00:14:47,057 --> 00:14:48,357 Mmm... 179 00:14:49,258 --> 00:14:51,450 It's lovely that. It's not too dry. 180 00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:54,756 Some of it'd strip the palate off ya, wouldn't it, but this is lovely. 181 00:14:57,232 --> 00:14:59,531 D'ya know what I'd like to do, wall? 182 00:15:00,868 --> 00:15:04,927 I'd like to drink a glass of wine, in a country where the grape is grown. 183 00:15:06,408 --> 00:15:11,206 Sitting by the sea, just... sipping wine, and watching the sun go down. 184 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,044 What's going on here? 185 00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:18,544 - Who the bloody hell are you talking to? - To the wall. 186 00:15:19,387 --> 00:15:23,452 - To the what? - The wall. Any objections? 187 00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:27,690 Never mind the bleedin' wall. 188 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,461 It's nearly 6 o'clock. Get on with gettin' me tea. 189 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,195 Oh My God! It's 6 o'clock, and his tea isn't ready! 190 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,791 Will the government collapse? 191 00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:39,366 Does this mean the end of civilization as we know it? 192 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,567 I always have me tea at 6 o'clock. 193 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:48,408 So, just think how exciting it'd be, if for once you had it at 6:15? 194 00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:54,516 It'd make the headlines. "World Exclusive"... "Joe Eats Late!". 195 00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,953 I think... you're going 'round the bend. 196 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:04,657 Oh, I do hope so, I've always wanted to travel! 197 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,793 - Now, listen... - No, you listen! 198 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:12,495 Go and get washed, and go and sit and watch the telly. 199 00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:15,269 You'll have your tea when it's ready. 200 00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:29,144 I always said I'd leave him when the kids grew up. 201 00:16:29,453 --> 00:16:32,849 But by the time they'd grown up, there was nowhere to go. 202 00:16:34,124 --> 00:16:37,592 I'm not saying he's bad, my fella. He's just no bleedin' good. 203 00:16:38,829 --> 00:16:42,888 I don't hate men. I'm not a feminist, not like Jane. 204 00:16:42,999 --> 00:16:44,724 Jane's me mate. 205 00:16:46,269 --> 00:16:48,931 I was having tea with her in a cafe the other day. 206 00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:52,533 Now, Jane is a feminist. Well, she likes to think she is. 207 00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:54,634 She reads Cosmopolitan, and she says... 208 00:16:54,644 --> 00:16:57,504 All men are potential rapists. 209 00:16:57,581 --> 00:17:02,676 - Even the Pope? - Of course,... all men, without exception. 210 00:17:03,686 --> 00:17:04,845 Look. 211 00:17:06,055 --> 00:17:07,311 What? 212 00:17:07,956 --> 00:17:10,349 - Him. - What about him? 213 00:17:14,395 --> 00:17:18,227 Since we arrived, he hasn't taken his eyes off us. 214 00:17:19,234 --> 00:17:22,496 He's spent the whole time undressing us. 215 00:17:23,371 --> 00:17:24,733 Go away! 216 00:17:25,406 --> 00:17:28,075 Good job I put me clean underwear on. 217 00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:33,680 Jane divorced her husband. 218 00:17:33,982 --> 00:17:36,445 I never knew him, it was before I met her. 219 00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:39,151 Apparently, she came home from work unexpectedly one morning, 220 00:17:39,153 --> 00:17:41,720 and found him in bed with the milkman. 221 00:17:41,722 --> 00:17:43,414 Honest to God! The milkman! 222 00:17:43,456 --> 00:17:45,921 Well, from that day forward, I've noticed... 223 00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:48,588 she never takes milk in her tea. 224 00:17:50,231 --> 00:17:51,888 Shirley, listen. 225 00:17:52,466 --> 00:17:55,491 I went in for a magazine competition, and I won it! 226 00:17:55,636 --> 00:17:59,068 A fortnight's holiday for two in Greece! How about that?! 227 00:17:59,172 --> 00:18:02,101 Jane, what am I gonna do without you for 2 weeks? 228 00:18:02,307 --> 00:18:04,638 You're the only one I ever talk to. 229 00:18:04,743 --> 00:18:07,038 - I won't half miss you. - No, you won't, 230 00:18:07,146 --> 00:18:09,807 - because you're coming with me. - What? 231 00:18:09,816 --> 00:18:12,048 I've got it all fixed. Tomorrow morning, 232 00:18:12,052 --> 00:18:16,944 - we go to the travel agents and pick the tickets up. - Oh, but Jane, I can't! 233 00:18:16,955 --> 00:18:18,224 - Yes, you can! 234 00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:21,525 - And I don't want a vote of thanks or a speech about how grateful you are. 235 00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:25,126 You'll be doing me a big favour by coming with me. 236 00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:29,164 All set. 237 00:18:29,768 --> 00:18:32,659 Tuesday week,... and we're off! 238 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,731 I don't suppose you've got a passport, have you? 239 00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:37,470 - No, but Jane, I... - C'mon. 240 00:18:37,476 --> 00:18:41,104 But, Jane, what about Joe? Jane, it's impossible. 241 00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:44,640 Of course it's possible. It's perfectly possible. 242 00:18:44,783 --> 00:18:48,478 Just forget about Joe. You're married to him, not joined at the hip. 243 00:18:48,487 --> 00:18:49,846 Has he ever taken you abroad? 244 00:18:49,853 --> 00:18:53,047 No, he... he'd never go abroad. He hates travelling. 245 00:18:53,056 --> 00:18:55,022 He gets culture shock when we go to Chester. 246 00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:58,583 Well, that's alright then, because he's not going, and you are. 247 00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:06,602 D'ya know, if I told Joe I was going to Greece for a week, 248 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,896 he'd think I was going for the sex. 249 00:19:09,205 --> 00:19:10,502 Well, let him. 250 00:19:10,541 --> 00:19:13,732 - I wouldn't mind, but I'm not particulary fond of it, sex. 251 00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:19,980 I think sex is like supermarkets. You know, overrated. 252 00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,048 Just a lot of pushing and shoving, 253 00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:24,713 and you still come out with very little at the end. 254 00:19:29,858 --> 00:19:31,917 You get them out of here. 255 00:19:32,628 --> 00:19:34,894 Listen, Jane, what about Joe? 256 00:19:35,298 --> 00:19:38,027 Look, Shirley, if Joe doesn't want to go abroad... 257 00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:41,229 If he wants to behave like every other boring, insular, Englishman, 258 00:19:41,236 --> 00:19:44,599 then that's his prerogative. But you do want to go abroad... 259 00:19:44,606 --> 00:19:47,972 You've said so on many occasions, and now you can. 260 00:19:48,076 --> 00:19:51,077 That's your prerogative. It's no problem, Shirley. 261 00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:52,875 It's perfectly logical. 262 00:19:52,981 --> 00:19:55,449 I know it's logical. Dead logical,... 263 00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:59,552 but, you can't bring logic into this. We're talking about marriage. 264 00:19:59,988 --> 00:20:03,887 Marriage is like the Middle East: There's no solution. 265 00:20:09,596 --> 00:20:13,060 Oh, God! Ugh, I look like the back end of a tram smash! 266 00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:15,996 Right, now then... Come on, bikini. 267 00:20:16,603 --> 00:20:19,772 Bikini? With my stretch marks?! 268 00:20:19,806 --> 00:20:22,570 I'd be arrested for bringing human form into disrepute! 269 00:20:22,676 --> 00:20:24,009 - Oh, get away! 270 00:20:24,211 --> 00:20:28,077 Listen, Jane, how am I going to tell Joe that I'm off to Greece for a fortnight? 271 00:20:28,447 --> 00:20:32,176 Oh, by the way, Joseph, umm,... I'm just popping off to Greece for a fortnight. 272 00:20:32,185 --> 00:20:36,381 Yeah,... I just thought I'd mention it so you can put it down in your diary. 273 00:20:37,022 --> 00:20:40,583 You won't mind doing your own washing and cooking for a couple of weeks, will you, doll? 274 00:20:40,591 --> 00:20:41,716 There's nothing to it, babe. 275 00:20:41,893 --> 00:20:45,125 The brown blob on the right of the kitchen is the washing machine, 276 00:20:45,131 --> 00:20:47,564 and the white blob on the left is the cooker. 277 00:20:47,567 --> 00:20:51,698 And don't get them mixed up, or you might end up with socks on toast. 278 00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:54,669 Some chance, eh, wall? Some chance. 279 00:20:54,772 --> 00:20:57,100 Jesus, if I go to the bathroom for 5 minutes, 280 00:20:57,108 --> 00:20:59,169 he thinks I've been hijacked! 281 00:21:00,978 --> 00:21:03,809 Still here then, are we? Haven't forgotten me then, eh? 282 00:21:03,849 --> 00:21:06,178 It won't be long now. 283 00:21:09,821 --> 00:21:11,479 See what I mean? 284 00:21:20,598 --> 00:21:24,494 Oh, I knew I shouldn't have taken the bloody tickets off her in the first place. 285 00:21:25,502 --> 00:21:26,863 I'll phone Jane tomorrow. 286 00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:29,235 She'll easy find someone else to go with her. 287 00:21:31,508 --> 00:21:34,041 And there was me when I was a girl... 288 00:21:34,143 --> 00:21:36,637 The only thing I ever wanted to do was travel. 289 00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:40,579 I wanted to be a courier, or an air hostess. 290 00:21:41,851 --> 00:21:45,118 But it was only the clever ones who got to do things like that. 291 00:21:45,121 --> 00:21:49,584 The ones like Marjorie Majors. I used to sit next to her in class. 292 00:21:50,191 --> 00:21:51,716 - Marjorie? 293 00:21:51,794 --> 00:21:56,558 Miss, although it's often assumed that Niagra Falls are the highest, 294 00:21:56,599 --> 00:21:59,931 I think in fact it's actually the Angel Falls. 295 00:22:00,136 --> 00:22:02,764 Marjorie took private elocution lessons. 296 00:22:02,972 --> 00:22:06,802 Can you tell me in what country we would find Angel Falls? 297 00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:08,833 Venezuela, Miss. 298 00:22:08,978 --> 00:22:11,740 - Excellent! 25 house points. 299 00:22:12,382 --> 00:22:15,309 That makes 4 billion house points she's got so far. 300 00:22:15,351 --> 00:22:18,982 - And let us address ourselves to my next question. 301 00:22:19,185 --> 00:22:22,478 What was man's most important invention? 302 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:30,224 Oh, do put your hand down, Shirley. You couldn't possibly know the answer. 303 00:22:30,464 --> 00:22:32,689 - But, Miss... - Lorraine? 304 00:22:32,932 --> 00:22:35,858 - It's "Sputnik", Miss? - No. 305 00:22:36,436 --> 00:22:38,798 But I knew I had the right answer,... 306 00:22:39,239 --> 00:22:41,638 Is it the automatic washing machine, Miss? 307 00:22:41,641 --> 00:22:42,665 - No. 308 00:22:42,675 --> 00:22:44,843 'cause I got it from me dad,... - The aeroplane, Miss? 309 00:22:44,945 --> 00:22:47,003 and he got it from the "Encyclopedia Britannica". 310 00:22:47,513 --> 00:22:49,442 Well, come along, Marjorie. 311 00:22:49,583 --> 00:22:53,248 The internal combustion engine, Miss. 312 00:22:54,087 --> 00:22:57,320 - No, Marjorie. - Miss?! 313 00:22:57,490 --> 00:23:00,354 I was nearly wetting myself, knowing I was on the point of receiving... 314 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:03,854 43 thousand house points, a blessing from the Pope, 315 00:23:03,963 --> 00:23:05,957 and the OBE thrown in. 316 00:23:06,133 --> 00:23:10,735 Oh, very well, Shirley. You might as well get it wrong along with everybody else. 317 00:23:10,736 --> 00:23:14,171 - What was man's most important invention? 318 00:23:16,407 --> 00:23:18,738 Miss, it was the wheel. 319 00:23:20,579 --> 00:23:22,478 Miss, it was the wheel! 320 00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:26,449 Man's most important invention was... - Somebody must have told you! 321 00:23:26,718 --> 00:23:29,086 Well, how the bleeding hell else could I learn it? 322 00:23:29,086 --> 00:23:32,380 - Be quiet! - Well, Miss, it's not fair! 323 00:23:32,557 --> 00:23:34,688 Miss. Lloyd, the hymn! 324 00:23:39,663 --> 00:23:42,324 And all me house points, and me blessing from the Pope 325 00:23:42,433 --> 00:23:44,593 just disappeared before me eyes. 326 00:23:44,735 --> 00:23:47,268 I was never really interested in school after that. 327 00:23:47,471 --> 00:23:49,840 I became... a rebel. 328 00:23:52,109 --> 00:23:56,238 I used to wear my school skirts so high, you'd have thought it was a serviette. 329 00:23:56,347 --> 00:23:58,076 I was marvellous! 330 00:24:00,884 --> 00:24:03,813 I used to exude boredom out of every pore, 331 00:24:03,820 --> 00:24:05,481 and I hated everything. 332 00:24:05,588 --> 00:24:08,521 - What did you have last lesson? - Science. 333 00:24:08,624 --> 00:24:11,422 - It's garbage, science. - It's boring. 334 00:24:11,828 --> 00:24:13,454 What did you do in it? 335 00:24:13,595 --> 00:24:16,330 She showed us this film of these rabbits having a screw. 336 00:24:16,633 --> 00:24:19,292 - Any good? - Super boring. 337 00:24:19,301 --> 00:24:23,462 - I don't even like them in stew. - I hate them,... rabbits. 338 00:24:23,471 --> 00:24:29,267 I hate the world. I hate everything. It's all garbage. It's last. 339 00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:31,538 It's crap, and I hate it. 340 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:38,007 But I didn't really hate anything. The only thing I hated was me. 341 00:24:40,189 --> 00:24:43,057 Hey,... d'ya wanna drag? 342 00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:51,660 - Do you think she'll tell? - She's a cow, she give me the irrit's. 343 00:24:52,933 --> 00:24:54,562 - Shirley Valentine! 344 00:25:17,524 --> 00:25:22,256 Shirley, I didn't give you away, honestly, but you shouldn't smoke... 345 00:25:22,394 --> 00:25:24,790 Smoking can damage your health. 346 00:25:25,064 --> 00:25:27,459 And I can damage your health! 347 00:25:31,904 --> 00:25:34,370 God, can't you be evil when you're a kid! 348 00:25:34,474 --> 00:25:37,440 I used to pick on Marjorie something rotten. 349 00:25:37,910 --> 00:25:40,840 And all the time I suppose I really wanted to be like her. 350 00:25:40,946 --> 00:25:43,676 - Your report is excellent, as usual. 351 00:25:44,115 --> 00:25:48,077 I'm particulary delighted to hear that you're going to stay on with us to do your A-levels,... 352 00:25:48,085 --> 00:25:51,151 which will lead to your eventual entry into university. 353 00:25:51,189 --> 00:25:53,348 - Congratulations, my dear. 354 00:25:54,559 --> 00:25:56,317 Thank you, Miss. 355 00:26:02,566 --> 00:26:05,335 - And now we come to Miss. Valentine. 356 00:26:12,608 --> 00:26:16,602 Well, Shirley,... naturally, you are leaving us. 357 00:26:17,147 --> 00:26:20,776 And a brief glance at your report confirms my deep suspicion,... 358 00:26:20,884 --> 00:26:26,112 that you will not go far in life. Which perhaps is just as well,... 359 00:26:26,255 --> 00:26:29,388 given your marks in geography, you'd truly get lost. 360 00:26:31,295 --> 00:26:33,994 Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday! 361 00:26:38,134 --> 00:26:40,499 - Miss. Valentine, will you please come back! 362 00:26:52,547 --> 00:26:56,706 Of course, after I left I never saw any more of her, Marjorie Majors... 363 00:26:56,818 --> 00:26:59,810 Then, a few weeks ago, I was on my way home from town... 364 00:26:59,821 --> 00:27:01,786 You know, loaded down with shopping... 365 00:27:05,459 --> 00:27:07,495 Taxi! Taxi! 366 00:27:12,933 --> 00:27:15,026 Oh, you sod! 367 00:27:22,677 --> 00:27:24,373 I'm terribly sorry. 368 00:27:26,148 --> 00:27:27,712 Forgive me for asking, but... 369 00:27:27,714 --> 00:27:30,511 didn't you used to be Shirley Valentine? 370 00:27:30,717 --> 00:27:32,609 Marjorie Majors. 371 00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:36,211 I'd recognise those elocution lessons anywhere. 372 00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:39,349 It is! It's Shirley! 373 00:27:39,358 --> 00:27:42,659 My God, you're drenched! Come in and have tea. 374 00:27:49,802 --> 00:27:53,968 Well, Marjorie,... you've waited a long time for your revenge, 375 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:56,563 but you got me in good style now. Well, go on, 376 00:27:56,575 --> 00:28:00,136 dig the knife in quick, and let's get it over with. 377 00:28:00,246 --> 00:28:03,476 Tell me all about you being an air hostess on Concord. 378 00:28:03,615 --> 00:28:05,942 I can't believe it, Shirley. After all these years! 379 00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:07,814 I know, and I haven't changed a bit, have I? 380 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,979 Still kept my youthful complection. 381 00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:12,717 We've got to get you out of those wet things. 382 00:28:13,258 --> 00:28:14,657 Here we are. 383 00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:29,633 Thanks, Marjorie. 384 00:28:30,107 --> 00:28:31,869 Oh, that's better. 385 00:28:33,543 --> 00:28:34,669 Hello. 386 00:28:36,179 --> 00:28:38,308 Now, I want to know everything that's happened to you. 387 00:28:38,315 --> 00:28:40,046 I want the whole story, from A to Z. 388 00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:43,113 Got a postage stamp? I'll write it down for you. 389 00:28:43,955 --> 00:28:46,113 Won't you sit down, Shirley. 390 00:28:48,892 --> 00:28:50,856 - Do you have children? - Yeah. 391 00:28:51,828 --> 00:28:53,989 Tell me about them. Are they like you? 392 00:28:54,631 --> 00:28:57,359 Well, our Millandra's a bit of a mare, and Brian's a headcase, 393 00:28:57,367 --> 00:28:59,464 so, yeah, they are like me. 394 00:29:00,904 --> 00:29:04,596 - Well,... this is great, isn't it? - Yeah. 395 00:29:07,277 --> 00:29:10,972 - Er,... so, where are you off to next? - Paris... 396 00:29:11,347 --> 00:29:14,209 - Tonight, I'm afraid - Is that where you live now? 397 00:29:14,215 --> 00:29:17,811 No, I'm based in London, but er,... I travel all over. 398 00:29:18,019 --> 00:29:21,887 - From Paris, it's Athens, I think. - It's Greece, isn't it? 399 00:29:21,990 --> 00:29:24,683 - Yeah. - I remember that from geography. 400 00:29:25,025 --> 00:29:27,688 - All those islands! - That's right. 401 00:29:32,499 --> 00:29:35,693 - Shall I pour now, Madam? - Please. 402 00:29:40,074 --> 00:29:44,010 This is my friend Marjorie. We were at school together. 403 00:29:44,011 --> 00:29:48,907 Marjorie's an air hostess now,... on Concord. 404 00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:51,484 Pardon, darling? 405 00:29:52,286 --> 00:29:53,844 An air hostess? 406 00:29:54,621 --> 00:29:57,454 My God, Shirley, whatever gave you that idea? 407 00:29:57,591 --> 00:30:00,719 I said I travel widely, but I'm not an air hostess. 408 00:30:01,861 --> 00:30:05,389 Darling, I'm a hooker... I'm a whore. 409 00:30:10,570 --> 00:30:14,107 Oh, Madam, I'm, I'm so sorry. Erm, I'll get you some more. 410 00:30:14,206 --> 00:30:17,806 - Nevermind, just leave it. What do we want tea for anyway? 411 00:30:17,810 --> 00:30:19,673 This calls for a celebration. 412 00:30:24,416 --> 00:30:29,080 I just can't believe it... You, a hooker? Honest, Marjorie? 413 00:30:29,355 --> 00:30:30,820 Yes, honest. 414 00:30:31,657 --> 00:30:34,884 And all that money your mother spent on those elocution lessons! 415 00:30:35,694 --> 00:30:40,124 Do you know something? I always hated the way I had to speak, I still do. 416 00:30:40,432 --> 00:30:42,230 I think you speak lovely. 417 00:30:44,169 --> 00:30:49,967 - You, Marjorie Majors, a hooker! - A top class hooker, of course. 418 00:30:50,009 --> 00:30:53,268 Mind you, I always was... top of the class, wasn't I? 419 00:30:55,879 --> 00:30:58,544 - Are you shocked, darling? - No... no, I'm not. 420 00:30:58,816 --> 00:31:01,449 I'm just thinking about all those house points! 421 00:31:15,733 --> 00:31:17,363 - I've found it! 422 00:31:21,604 --> 00:31:23,669 - Is that our class? - Yes. 423 00:31:24,807 --> 00:31:28,264 Oh, God, look at me hair! 424 00:31:28,411 --> 00:31:32,344 - There's your favourite - Yeah, that cow, Miss. Dearden. 425 00:31:34,650 --> 00:31:38,049 Remember, Marjorie,... smoking is bad for your health! 426 00:31:39,655 --> 00:31:43,087 - God, what a pain in the neck I was. - No, you weren't. 427 00:31:44,326 --> 00:31:46,592 You know, I never forgave myself 428 00:31:46,694 --> 00:31:50,128 for what I did to that beautiful souffl� of yours. 429 00:31:55,603 --> 00:31:56,636 Yes? 430 00:31:56,806 --> 00:31:57,832 Yes. 431 00:31:58,433 --> 00:31:59,533 Oh, right... 432 00:31:59,540 --> 00:32:01,904 Tell him I'll be down in 5 minutes. 433 00:32:02,844 --> 00:32:05,309 Hell, that's my car for the airport. 434 00:32:05,947 --> 00:32:09,880 Oh, I wish I didn't have to go. It's been such a lovely afternoon. 435 00:32:10,651 --> 00:32:14,984 Yeah,... and d'ya know when I first saw you, I almost fled. 436 00:32:15,089 --> 00:32:16,180 Why? 437 00:32:16,257 --> 00:32:20,452 Ah,... I thought you'd come lording it over me. 438 00:32:20,661 --> 00:32:23,019 Me, lording it over you? 439 00:32:24,264 --> 00:32:27,132 Don't you realise, I wanted to be like you? 440 00:32:27,601 --> 00:32:29,759 And I wanted to be like you! 441 00:32:31,738 --> 00:32:34,864 If only we'd known. We could have been great mates... 442 00:32:34,874 --> 00:32:36,804 You know, real close. 443 00:32:38,010 --> 00:32:40,245 - It's been fun, hasn't it? - Yeah. 444 00:32:41,848 --> 00:32:45,046 Anyway, you're off to Paris now. That's lovely. 445 00:32:45,317 --> 00:32:48,351 Yes, but I'd rather be here, talking to you. 446 00:32:49,655 --> 00:32:51,154 Well then. 447 00:32:59,131 --> 00:33:01,699 - Can we give you a lift? - No, I'm fine, thanks. 448 00:33:01,799 --> 00:33:04,197 I've still got a bit more shopping to do. 449 00:33:04,970 --> 00:33:06,403 Well then. 450 00:33:12,411 --> 00:33:15,479 And there was real affection in that kiss. 451 00:33:15,646 --> 00:33:18,308 It was the sweetest kiss I'd known in years. 452 00:33:22,854 --> 00:33:26,954 Goodbye, Shirley. Goodbye, Shirley Valentine. 453 00:33:32,529 --> 00:33:34,656 "Goodbye, Shirley Valentine". 454 00:33:36,967 --> 00:33:38,730 What happened to her? 455 00:33:40,136 --> 00:33:42,536 What happened to Shirley Valentine? 456 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,732 She got married... to a boy called Joe,... 457 00:33:46,910 --> 00:33:49,168 and even though her name was changed to Bradshaw, 458 00:33:49,278 --> 00:33:52,509 she was still Shirley Valentine for a while. 459 00:33:53,083 --> 00:33:55,107 She knew who she was,... 460 00:33:56,519 --> 00:33:58,087 but somewhere along the way, 461 00:33:58,186 --> 00:34:00,678 the boy called Joe turned into "Him",.... 462 00:34:01,423 --> 00:34:04,221 and Shirley Valentine turned into this. 463 00:34:08,096 --> 00:34:11,760 And what I can't remember is the day, or the week, 464 00:34:11,767 --> 00:34:15,324 or the month, or... when it happened. 465 00:34:15,904 --> 00:34:17,997 When it stopped being good. 466 00:34:18,907 --> 00:34:21,772 When Shirley Valentine disappeared, and became just another name 467 00:34:21,875 --> 00:34:24,103 on the 'missing persons' list. 468 00:34:26,814 --> 00:34:30,306 He says he still loves me, you know? But, he doesn't... 469 00:34:31,051 --> 00:34:33,312 It's just something he says. 470 00:34:34,421 --> 00:34:37,615 It's funny, isn't it? "I love you". It's like it makes everything alright. 471 00:34:37,724 --> 00:34:41,091 Like,... like you can be beaten, and battered, and half insane, 472 00:34:41,094 --> 00:34:44,595 and if you complain, he'll say, "What's wrong? You know I love you". 473 00:34:45,599 --> 00:34:49,191 "I love you". They should bottle it, and sell it... 474 00:34:49,203 --> 00:34:51,200 It cures everything. 475 00:34:55,509 --> 00:34:57,772 And I know what you're thinking. 476 00:34:58,545 --> 00:35:00,172 Why don't I leave? 477 00:35:01,047 --> 00:35:03,880 Well, I'm terrified, if you want to know. 478 00:35:04,116 --> 00:35:07,917 I'm terrified that if I left, there'd be nowhere for me to go. 479 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,081 No place for me in the life beyond the wall. 480 00:35:13,092 --> 00:35:16,649 When I was a girl, I used to jump off our roof. 481 00:35:16,761 --> 00:35:18,556 - Is it ready then? 482 00:35:22,334 --> 00:35:25,762 I get me tea at 6 o'clock, and it's nearly 10 past. What's going on? 483 00:35:25,870 --> 00:35:27,467 It's ready, sit down. 484 00:36:00,504 --> 00:36:03,837 - What's this then? - What? 485 00:36:04,908 --> 00:36:08,172 What... is... this? 486 00:36:10,612 --> 00:36:12,547 Well, it looks very like chips n' egg to me, 487 00:36:12,549 --> 00:36:14,383 but maybe it's a trick question. 488 00:36:14,584 --> 00:36:18,310 - It's Thursday. We have steak on Thursday. 489 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,113 We always have steak on Thursday. 490 00:36:22,958 --> 00:36:24,650 Well, alright it's Thursday, 491 00:36:24,761 --> 00:36:27,121 but we're having chips n' egg for a change. 492 00:36:27,296 --> 00:36:30,465 - You like chips n' egg. - On a Tuesday... 493 00:36:30,499 --> 00:36:33,762 I like chips n' egg on a Tuesday. 494 00:36:34,737 --> 00:36:37,061 Today is Thursday. 495 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,168 - Well, pretend it's Tuesday. - Where's me steak?! 496 00:36:42,744 --> 00:36:46,244 - I give it to the dog! - What dog?! 497 00:36:46,214 --> 00:36:49,008 Gillian's dog, across the street! 498 00:36:51,319 --> 00:36:52,784 Is this it? 499 00:36:54,122 --> 00:36:57,246 Have you finally gone 'round the friggin' pipe?! 500 00:37:00,093 --> 00:37:03,324 Look at me! I'm working from morning 'til night, 501 00:37:03,430 --> 00:37:07,695 working me tripe out, and what do I find? 502 00:37:08,134 --> 00:37:10,964 You, talking to the wall! 503 00:37:11,738 --> 00:37:15,003 Giving me tea to any friggin' stray dog that comes along, 504 00:37:15,675 --> 00:37:19,008 and I'm expected to eat... this! 505 00:37:20,079 --> 00:37:24,077 Well, I'm... not... eating... this! 506 00:37:24,351 --> 00:37:27,814 I'm... not... eating... shite! 507 00:37:42,968 --> 00:37:45,003 - Chips n' egg. 508 00:37:45,838 --> 00:37:48,134 - Chips n' friggin' egg! 509 00:37:48,540 --> 00:37:51,870 - I'm working all the hours that God sends! 510 00:37:52,110 --> 00:37:56,340 - I don't know why I bother. - I don't know what I'm doing it all for! 511 00:37:57,582 --> 00:38:00,242 - What's that? - It's a place. 512 00:38:00,384 --> 00:38:02,314 It's a place I'm going to! 513 00:38:06,023 --> 00:38:08,020 Ahhh, I get it. 514 00:38:09,127 --> 00:38:11,726 That's the name of the game, is it? 515 00:38:14,132 --> 00:38:16,131 I'm not getting fed properly, 516 00:38:16,133 --> 00:38:19,464 because you're saving for a foreign friggin' holiday! 517 00:38:19,469 --> 00:38:21,803 Well, I'm telling you now, you can just forget it! 518 00:38:21,806 --> 00:38:25,141 I am not going to no Greece! 519 00:38:29,379 --> 00:38:30,876 Get it?! 520 00:39:22,263 --> 00:39:25,626 - Oh, hello, Shirley. What are you doing here? 521 00:39:26,868 --> 00:39:30,529 - I'm just buying a few... - They're quite nice, aren't they? 522 00:39:31,204 --> 00:39:35,265 It's marvellous what they can do with man made fibres these days, isn't it? 523 00:39:35,274 --> 00:39:36,842 You'd almost think it was silk... 524 00:39:36,843 --> 00:39:38,977 if you weren't familiar with the real thing. 525 00:39:39,212 --> 00:39:41,710 Well, I expect they're quite nice for your Millandra. 526 00:39:41,748 --> 00:39:44,382 Oh, no, Gillian, I'm not buying them for Millandra, 527 00:39:44,418 --> 00:39:48,553 I'm buying them for myself. Oh, these are better, yes. 528 00:39:48,588 --> 00:39:51,385 Yes, umm, but I shan't be wearing them for myself... 529 00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:53,981 I shall be wearing them for my lover. 530 00:39:54,627 --> 00:39:56,692 Yes, we fly out tomorrow, my lover and I, 531 00:39:56,796 --> 00:39:58,695 for a fortnight in the Greek islands. 532 00:39:59,097 --> 00:40:02,857 Just 2 weeks of sun, sand, taramasalata, 533 00:40:02,869 --> 00:40:06,763 and whatever else takes our fancy. Oh, well, I must be off now, Gillian. 534 00:40:06,771 --> 00:40:09,971 Still got a few more things to buy. I don't suppose you noticed 535 00:40:09,976 --> 00:40:12,309 which counter the garter belts were on, did you? 536 00:40:12,311 --> 00:40:15,539 No? Oh, nevermind, I'll find them. Tara, Gillian. 537 00:40:33,631 --> 00:40:36,794 Passport,... tickets, money. Passport, tickets, money. 538 00:40:36,901 --> 00:40:40,437 4 o'clock Jane's picking me up. 11:10. 539 00:40:41,171 --> 00:40:44,137 Ugh, I feel sick. 540 00:40:44,775 --> 00:40:47,642 Those travel sickness pills mustn't be working. 541 00:40:47,644 --> 00:40:50,575 I still feel sick, and I've taken 4 already,... 542 00:40:50,580 --> 00:40:53,179 and I've only travelled up n' down the stairs. 543 00:40:53,283 --> 00:40:56,247 Passport, tickets, money. 544 00:40:56,319 --> 00:40:59,016 I got a full one, wall,... passport. 545 00:40:59,222 --> 00:41:02,087 Well, you never know, Shirley, this could be the start of something. 546 00:41:02,192 --> 00:41:04,953 This year Greece, next year the world. 547 00:41:05,895 --> 00:41:08,692 Oh, God, I knew I should have told him. 548 00:41:09,265 --> 00:41:12,231 10 days I've been secretly ironing, and packing. 549 00:41:12,235 --> 00:41:14,530 It's been like living in a bleedin' prison! 550 00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:16,364 Cooking all his meat for the next fortnight... 551 00:41:16,371 --> 00:41:17,768 They're all in the freezer. 552 00:41:17,773 --> 00:41:19,601 My mother's got to come in and defrost them, 553 00:41:19,707 --> 00:41:21,534 and do his cooking for him. 554 00:41:22,677 --> 00:41:25,540 With a bit of luck, he won't even notice I'm not here. 555 00:41:26,014 --> 00:41:27,705 Oh, God! 556 00:41:29,618 --> 00:41:32,453 God, look, I know I'm being cruel, 557 00:41:32,454 --> 00:41:34,448 and I know I will have to pay for it when I get back, 558 00:41:34,456 --> 00:41:37,923 and I don't mind paying for it then, but just... just do me a favour, God, 559 00:41:37,926 --> 00:41:40,689 and don't make me pay for ir during the 2 weeks. 560 00:41:40,795 --> 00:41:43,227 Keep everyone safe, please. 561 00:42:24,869 --> 00:42:28,235 I hate that Sharon Louise! She's a mare! 562 00:42:28,340 --> 00:42:31,739 I don't know why I ever went to live with her in the first place! 563 00:42:31,844 --> 00:42:35,243 Mother, I've come back to live with you! 564 00:42:37,615 --> 00:42:40,708 Mother, make me some cocoa and toast like you used to... 565 00:42:40,818 --> 00:42:42,682 I'm going to me room. 566 00:43:12,382 --> 00:43:14,845 She's a cow, that Sharon Louise. 567 00:43:14,951 --> 00:43:17,678 I don't know why I ever left you, Mother. 568 00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:22,848 Mother, you haven't put enough sugar in this cocoa. 569 00:43:22,859 --> 00:43:25,792 Will you go down, and get us another spoon? 570 00:43:36,605 --> 00:43:38,036 What am I doing, wall? 571 00:43:38,074 --> 00:43:39,766 She's only been back 5 minutes, and... 572 00:43:39,775 --> 00:43:43,402 she's got me strutting 'round like R2 bleedin' D2! 573 00:43:52,620 --> 00:43:55,552 Ah, thanks, Mother, that's brilliant. 574 00:43:56,824 --> 00:43:59,325 God, I love being back home. 575 00:43:59,693 --> 00:44:03,290 We'll go down town on Saturday, shall we, Mother? Like we used to. 576 00:44:03,331 --> 00:44:06,026 Do some shopping together, eh? Just you and me. 577 00:44:06,033 --> 00:44:07,360 - Yeah, that... - Mother, do us a favour,... 578 00:44:07,467 --> 00:44:10,593 - and bring the telly upstairs, will ya? - Millandra... 579 00:44:11,772 --> 00:44:15,201 Millandra, I'm really pleased you've come home... 580 00:44:15,209 --> 00:44:18,076 You know, because I've missed you. - And I've missed you, Mother. 581 00:44:18,178 --> 00:44:19,703 I've been home sick, you know. 582 00:44:19,712 --> 00:44:22,338 I mean, I've never said that. I've never complained, 583 00:44:22,349 --> 00:44:25,008 because I think kids should have their own lives, 584 00:44:25,018 --> 00:44:31,022 but there's... there's been many a time I'd loved to have sat and had a talk with you, or, 585 00:44:31,024 --> 00:44:34,159 or gone to town with you, or had a meal, or shared a laugh... 586 00:44:34,161 --> 00:44:37,790 - Mother... - Just like... like, not as your Mother, but 587 00:44:37,797 --> 00:44:38,890 as another human being... 588 00:44:38,932 --> 00:44:40,728 - Well, Mother, could you get the telly for us? 589 00:44:40,734 --> 00:44:42,426 Playschool's gonna be on in a minute. 590 00:44:42,503 --> 00:44:46,033 but I couldn't,... because you had your own life... 591 00:44:47,106 --> 00:44:49,364 Your own interests, and your own friends... 592 00:44:49,374 --> 00:44:50,601 None of it to do with me. 593 00:44:50,610 --> 00:44:54,306 Yeah, well, that's okay 'cause now I've come back home. 594 00:44:54,314 --> 00:44:58,549 Yes, you've come home, and that's fantastic, 595 00:44:59,017 --> 00:45:02,484 and, and, you couldn't have picked a better time for it, 'cause... 596 00:45:03,121 --> 00:45:05,453 It'll be a great help having you here to look after your Father. 597 00:45:05,557 --> 00:45:09,187 - Why? What's wrong with him? - Well, there's nothing wrong with him, it's... 598 00:45:11,496 --> 00:45:14,493 it's just with me not being here for the next 2 weeks. 599 00:45:15,933 --> 00:45:17,196 - What? 600 00:45:18,069 --> 00:45:21,401 - With me and Jane going to Greece,... today... 601 00:45:21,406 --> 00:45:25,507 - You and...? Going to Greece? What for?! 602 00:45:25,844 --> 00:45:29,809 - For 2 whole weeks. - That Jane,... and you?! 603 00:45:30,181 --> 00:45:32,608 - What's me Father had to say about it?! 604 00:45:33,851 --> 00:45:36,544 - Well,... I haven't told him. 605 00:45:37,987 --> 00:45:40,948 - I think it's a disgrace! - What? 606 00:45:40,957 --> 00:45:43,355 - Me own Mother behaving like that! 607 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,492 - Millandra, I thought you'd be made up for me. 608 00:45:46,496 --> 00:45:50,397 - Made up? Made up?! I think it's disgusting! 609 00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,434 - Hold on, what's disgusting about it? 610 00:45:52,535 --> 00:45:54,798 - 2 middle aged women going to Greece on their own? 611 00:45:54,904 --> 00:45:57,395 - It's disgusting! - Oh, don't be silly! 612 00:45:57,507 --> 00:46:00,769 - Love, where are ya going? - I'm going back to my flat. 613 00:46:01,277 --> 00:46:04,311 - Greece, at your age! You and that Jane! 614 00:46:04,313 --> 00:46:05,539 - It's obscene! 615 00:46:05,547 --> 00:46:08,573 - You are jumping to exactly the same conclusions as your Father would. 616 00:46:08,684 --> 00:46:12,051 You think I'm off to Greece on a grab-a-granny fortnight! 617 00:46:16,925 --> 00:46:20,186 That's right, Millandra, I'm going to Greece for the sex! 618 00:46:20,697 --> 00:46:25,026 Sex for breakfast, sex for dinner, sex for tea, and sex for supper! 619 00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:27,194 Sounds like a marvellous diet, love! 620 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:30,961 It is! Have you never heard of it? It's called the "F" plan! 621 00:46:34,508 --> 00:46:37,171 "You, going to Greece. What for?". 622 00:46:44,018 --> 00:46:46,411 What am I going for? 623 00:46:52,325 --> 00:46:55,424 Shirley, you are one silly bitch! 624 00:46:57,364 --> 00:46:59,532 You're 42, not 22. 625 00:47:01,268 --> 00:47:04,634 Just another stupid woman, looking for adventure,... 626 00:47:04,670 --> 00:47:07,362 when the time for adventures is over. 627 00:47:12,145 --> 00:47:16,477 Well, I'll phone Jane,... tell her I'm not coming. 628 00:47:45,977 --> 00:47:50,272 - Oh, hello, Shirley, is Joe at home? - No, Gillian, Joe isn't at home,... 629 00:47:50,281 --> 00:47:52,115 and listen, if you've come to spill the beans, don't bother... 630 00:47:52,215 --> 00:47:55,512 Shirley, I haven't come to spill any beans. 631 00:47:57,422 --> 00:48:01,050 I just wanted to check that Joseph wasn't home... 632 00:48:03,460 --> 00:48:05,890 before I gave you... this. 633 00:48:06,797 --> 00:48:09,689 I want you to have it for your trip... to Greece. 634 00:48:10,434 --> 00:48:12,264 Well, do open it. 635 00:48:20,009 --> 00:48:23,545 It is silk. It's never been worn... 636 00:48:23,646 --> 00:48:26,410 You see, I... was never brave enough. 637 00:48:26,715 --> 00:48:30,581 - Oh, Gillian! - I wish I'd had your bravery. 638 00:48:30,653 --> 00:48:33,845 - Listen, today... - Please, Shirley, don't say anything. 639 00:48:33,856 --> 00:48:39,721 - It's yours. I just wanted you to know... I think you're marvellous. 640 00:48:45,133 --> 00:48:46,929 - Gillian! 641 00:48:58,976 --> 00:49:01,536 Gillian really believes it! 642 00:49:01,679 --> 00:49:04,806 All that rubbish about me, taking a lover! 643 00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,312 She really believes it's possible! 644 00:49:07,317 --> 00:49:09,475 In her eyes, I'm no longer Shirley Bradshaw, 645 00:49:09,586 --> 00:49:13,147 middle aged housewife, beginning to sag a bit. 646 00:49:13,522 --> 00:49:17,684 I'm Shirley the brave. Shirley the marvellous! 647 00:49:19,396 --> 00:49:21,393 Shirley Valentine! 648 00:49:23,032 --> 00:49:25,125 From now on, when I look in the mirror, 649 00:49:25,135 --> 00:49:27,360 I'm not gonna say, "Christ, you're 42", 650 00:49:27,370 --> 00:49:33,504 I'm gonna say, "Hey, Shirley, you're only 42! Isn't that marvellous?!" 651 00:49:37,011 --> 00:49:39,496 "Gone to Greece. Back in 2 weeks" 652 00:49:58,066 --> 00:49:59,327 Shirl'? 653 00:50:04,506 --> 00:50:06,098 Shirl'? 654 00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:20,002 Hey. 655 00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:22,638 I bet you didn't recognise me. 656 00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:26,212 I hardly recognise myself these days. 657 00:51:27,318 --> 00:51:30,515 I love it here,... don't I, rock? 658 00:51:31,288 --> 00:51:34,483 That's rock. We met the first day I got here. 659 00:51:35,459 --> 00:51:39,722 I found this little place... I found you, didn't I, rock? 660 00:51:39,796 --> 00:51:41,989 I talk to you,... rock. 661 00:51:42,864 --> 00:51:45,361 He's got his name running right through him. 662 00:51:45,667 --> 00:51:50,271 Now, of course, I talk to rock, but he doesn't talk to me. 663 00:51:50,339 --> 00:51:53,204 He can't, you see, he's a Greek rock. 664 00:51:54,010 --> 00:51:57,036 He can't understand a bleedin' word I'm saying! 665 00:51:58,815 --> 00:52:01,678 I might have risked the main beach if I'd have been with Jane, 666 00:52:01,783 --> 00:52:06,083 but on me own, I felt a bit,... you know, conspicuous. 667 00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:10,115 'Cause Jane met a fella, didn't she. 668 00:52:10,993 --> 00:52:15,493 Not here,... on the plane. Honest to God! 669 00:52:15,930 --> 00:52:16,988 Ladies and gentleman, 670 00:52:16,999 --> 00:52:19,024 would you now please observe the no smoking sign, 671 00:52:19,034 --> 00:52:21,502 and extinguish all lighted cigarettes. 672 00:52:23,639 --> 00:52:28,208 - Where have you been? - I told you, just to the loo. 673 00:52:28,209 --> 00:52:30,503 I was beginning to think you'd fallen down it. 674 00:52:30,611 --> 00:52:34,541 Shirley. Shirley,... see him? 675 00:52:35,817 --> 00:52:37,907 What, the walking groin? 676 00:52:38,286 --> 00:52:41,513 Shir', listen, he's just invited me out to dinner. 677 00:52:42,455 --> 00:52:44,248 - What? - Tonight. 678 00:52:44,359 --> 00:52:47,252 He's got a villa on the other side of the island from us, 679 00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:51,820 with an olive grove. Well, Shirl', it's only for tonight. 680 00:52:51,831 --> 00:52:55,833 We'll still do all the things we planned. You don't mind, do you? 681 00:52:57,737 --> 00:52:59,964 Listen, Jane, I think you've probably blown the 682 00:52:59,973 --> 00:53:03,539 'Feminist of the year' award, so just leave it out, will ya? 683 00:53:03,977 --> 00:53:06,874 I mean, obviously, it's been a difficult time for you, 684 00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,807 since your fella ran off with the milkman, 685 00:53:09,815 --> 00:53:11,783 and now you've got this opportunity, 686 00:53:11,784 --> 00:53:13,713 I don't want you to give another thought to me. 687 00:53:13,820 --> 00:53:19,382 You... you go to his villa, and enjoy yourself. Give his olives a good pressing! 688 00:53:19,692 --> 00:53:23,421 Shirley,... thanks for being so understanding. 689 00:53:30,133 --> 00:53:31,599 Shirley. 690 00:53:33,271 --> 00:53:36,103 Shirley,... where are ya going? 691 00:53:36,107 --> 00:53:37,801 We said we'd gift you a lift to the ferry. 692 00:53:37,809 --> 00:53:40,671 No, I'm fine on me own, thanks. 693 00:53:56,059 --> 00:53:57,649 Alright, love? 694 00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:31,315 Here we are, love. You sit here. 695 00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:34,428 Oh, no, no, thanks. I'd rather stand; you can see more. 696 00:54:34,529 --> 00:54:36,357 I don't blame you, love. 697 00:54:36,365 --> 00:54:38,898 You don't know what's been on these seats, do ya? 698 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,162 D'ya know what I mean? 699 00:55:07,905 --> 00:55:11,826 - We usually go to Laurette, don't we? - We couldn't get booked, could we? 700 00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:14,605 - Aye, we usually go to Majorca, but... - Ah, yes. 701 00:55:21,406 --> 00:55:23,968 The travel agent said we'd like it here. 702 00:55:24,585 --> 00:55:27,782 - I'm a bit dubious myself. - Where's the disco? 703 00:55:27,865 --> 00:55:31,212 - Where's the bar? - There's more life in a crematorium. 704 00:55:31,213 --> 00:55:32,713 - Oh, Sydney. 705 00:55:33,063 --> 00:55:35,892 It was like I'd come to the far side of Paradise,... 706 00:55:35,917 --> 00:55:37,912 and I loved it. 707 00:55:40,498 --> 00:55:43,102 Jane never did come back that night, you know,... 708 00:55:43,169 --> 00:55:44,679 or the next morning. 709 00:55:44,929 --> 00:55:47,290 At first, I was a bit scared, being on my own, 710 00:55:47,374 --> 00:55:49,477 but then I found this little place. 711 00:55:49,644 --> 00:55:52,606 I thought, why am I so terrified of being on me own? 712 00:55:52,607 --> 00:55:56,726 I'm and expert at it! And then I started to relax. 713 00:56:00,127 --> 00:56:03,227 She still hasn't come back, you know, has she, wall? 714 00:56:04,327 --> 00:56:06,352 They must be marvellous olives! 715 00:56:15,053 --> 00:56:17,290 Funny, isn't it, that if you're a woman on her own, 716 00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:19,951 it doesn't half seem to upset people. 717 00:56:24,052 --> 00:56:26,998 - Hiya, Renos. - Good evening, Madam,... 718 00:56:27,199 --> 00:56:28,350 - and how are you this evening? 719 00:56:28,351 --> 00:56:32,182 - Marvellous, thanks. How are you? - Good, I'm good. 720 00:56:32,283 --> 00:56:34,763 I feel a little pain in the back, 721 00:56:34,764 --> 00:56:39,939 but I say to myself, "If I feel a little pain in the back, at least it means I'm not dead". 722 00:56:41,540 --> 00:56:44,602 Now, tonight I have for you some calamares,... 723 00:56:44,603 --> 00:56:48,860 cooked with a little garlic, yes... and butter and lemon. Plenty of Lemon! 724 00:56:48,861 --> 00:56:50,555 - It's beautiful. - Lovely. 725 00:56:50,556 --> 00:56:52,868 - Bon appetit, Madam. - Thanks. 726 00:56:58,069 --> 00:57:02,033 Now, listen,... you can't go on like this. 727 00:57:02,534 --> 00:57:03,880 Pardon? 728 00:57:05,381 --> 00:57:07,259 It's not right! 729 00:57:07,460 --> 00:57:10,564 We can't help noticing that you're on your own. 730 00:57:10,565 --> 00:57:11,648 Who? 731 00:57:11,649 --> 00:57:14,320 So we've arranged for another chair at our table. 732 00:57:14,321 --> 00:57:16,574 Oh, no, no, thanks very much, but... 733 00:57:16,575 --> 00:57:19,020 We want you to come and join us. 734 00:57:19,021 --> 00:57:22,551 - No, no, thanks very much. I'd really much... - Now, come on, love. 735 00:57:22,652 --> 00:57:24,642 I'll take ya drink. 736 00:57:31,543 --> 00:57:34,213 I wouldn't be surprised if they all burst out into applause, 737 00:57:34,214 --> 00:57:36,215 'cause I've been rescued from loneliness by 738 00:57:36,216 --> 00:57:38,653 Jeannette and Dougie,... from Manchester. 739 00:57:38,654 --> 00:57:40,691 - Make yourself at home. 740 00:57:41,392 --> 00:57:45,894 Now,... have you got a "jacuzzi"? 741 00:57:47,095 --> 00:57:49,840 - Er,... no. - Well,... 742 00:57:49,841 --> 00:57:53,846 maybe it's just the thing you've been waiting for,... 743 00:57:53,847 --> 00:57:57,309 because you always wanted a jacuzzi, didn't you, Jeanette? 744 00:57:57,310 --> 00:58:02,112 I'd had dreams about getting a jacuzzi. Michael Caine's got one, ya know. 745 00:58:02,113 --> 00:58:03,313 Ohhh... 746 00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,268 - So, we get this jacuzzi, like, 747 00:58:05,269 --> 00:58:09,033 but what we found was, we couldn't fit it in our bathroom,... 748 00:58:09,334 --> 00:58:11,334 so, what I did was... 749 00:58:11,434 --> 00:58:15,324 - We built an extension! - I built an extension, didn't I? 750 00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:17,586 It's a good job we're not having soup, 751 00:58:17,587 --> 00:58:19,916 or I'd put my head in it, and drown myself. 752 00:58:20,017 --> 00:58:22,802 - Finished? - Well, I couldn't eat that! 753 00:58:27,403 --> 00:58:31,285 You can say what you like... It's not Laurette, is it? 754 00:58:31,286 --> 00:58:35,826 - Aye, but the thing is, Dougie, I could like Greece, I could,... 755 00:58:35,827 --> 00:58:37,664 if it were more like Spain. 756 00:58:37,865 --> 00:58:40,115 - I take your point, yeah. 757 00:58:40,116 --> 00:58:45,416 - But, it's not, is it? - No, it's not, and I'll tell you why... 758 00:58:45,417 --> 00:58:48,205 I'll tell you why Greece isn't like Spain. 759 00:58:48,406 --> 00:58:52,980 Because Greece... well, it's all too Greek. Take me point? 760 00:58:53,081 --> 00:58:55,418 And that's what's wrong with Greece. 761 00:58:55,919 --> 00:58:58,188 - It's like them fishing boats out there in the bay... 762 00:58:58,189 --> 00:59:00,851 I said to her this morning, didn't I, Thelma? 763 00:59:01,052 --> 00:59:05,185 - I said to her, "If you take a close look at the side them boats"... 764 00:59:05,186 --> 00:59:07,798 - "You know the bit where it says the name of the boat builder?"... 765 00:59:07,799 --> 00:59:12,508 - "And I 'll bet you a pound to a penny, it says Noah". 766 00:59:14,409 --> 00:59:17,587 Didn't I say that to ya? I bloody did! 767 00:59:18,488 --> 00:59:20,381 Okay, excuse me. 768 00:59:20,682 --> 00:59:23,532 You do watch the Olympic games, I take it? 769 00:59:23,733 --> 00:59:27,797 And you do realise it was the Greeks who invented the Olympic games? 770 00:59:27,798 --> 00:59:32,163 Oh, yes, Jeanette, they invented a lot of things, the Greeks. 771 00:59:32,164 --> 00:59:34,066 Where do you suppose your jacuzzi came from? 772 00:59:34,167 --> 00:59:37,489 - K-Mart. - Yes, but who invented it? 773 00:59:37,490 --> 00:59:41,204 The Greeks! Actually, the Greeks. 774 00:59:41,305 --> 00:59:43,558 And it was the Greeks, I'll have you know, 775 00:59:43,559 --> 00:59:47,831 who were responsible for the most important invention of all... The wheel! 776 00:59:48,032 --> 00:59:50,552 The English? Don't talk to me about the English, 777 00:59:50,553 --> 00:59:54,267 because while the Greeks were building roads, and cities, and temples, 778 00:59:54,268 --> 00:59:56,981 what were the English doing? I'll tell you what the English were doing, 779 00:59:56,982 --> 00:59:58,902 they were running around in loincloths, 780 00:59:58,903 --> 01:00:02,451 ploughing up the earth with the arse bone of a giraffe! 781 01:00:13,752 --> 01:00:15,144 - Madam. 782 01:00:19,645 --> 01:00:23,885 Hey,... mate,... what is this? 783 01:00:23,986 --> 01:00:27,490 - It's calamares, Sir. - I know that, 784 01:00:27,491 --> 01:00:31,823 but what I'm asking you,... Zorba... 785 01:00:31,824 --> 01:00:34,377 is, what is it? 786 01:00:34,378 --> 01:00:37,149 Sir, it's calamares. 787 01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:40,080 It's a... type of fish! 788 01:00:40,681 --> 01:00:43,217 Well, it don't look much like fish to me. 789 01:00:43,218 --> 01:00:46,263 Sir, I can promise you, it's fish. 790 01:00:46,264 --> 01:00:50,547 This fish was pulled fresh from sea this evening by my brother,... 791 01:00:50,548 --> 01:00:53,270 in a boat, called, "Noah". 792 01:00:54,971 --> 01:00:56,816 - Enjoy your meal. 793 01:01:01,717 --> 01:01:04,654 They're that type, you know... If they'd been at the last supper, 794 01:01:04,655 --> 01:01:06,629 they'd have asked for chips. 795 01:01:09,330 --> 01:01:11,696 Very nice the squid, isn't it? 796 01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:16,299 What? 797 01:01:16,900 --> 01:01:20,787 I say, the squid, the octopus,... it's really quite nice. 798 01:01:53,488 --> 01:01:55,015 - Madam... 799 01:01:55,016 --> 01:01:58,094 - You will join with your friends? - No, I don't think so, Renos. 800 01:01:58,095 --> 01:02:01,776 After what I said at dinner time, I don't think I'd be too popular, do you? 801 01:02:01,777 --> 01:02:07,177 - Maybe not. Have a good evening. - Thank you, Renos. 802 01:03:10,217 --> 01:03:12,004 You like something? 803 01:03:12,305 --> 01:03:15,009 Er, yeah, I'd like a drink please. 804 01:03:15,010 --> 01:03:17,980 Sure... Gin, whisky, what? 805 01:03:17,981 --> 01:03:20,994 Er, no, wine. Weak,... weak wine. 806 01:03:21,095 --> 01:03:22,613 - Ah, retsina? 807 01:03:22,814 --> 01:03:28,241 - Will I like that? - It's Greek. I think you like. 808 01:03:29,242 --> 01:03:30,878 Spiro, retsina. 809 01:03:30,879 --> 01:03:32,783 Hey, hey, hey, excuse me. 810 01:03:34,284 --> 01:03:36,946 I know this sounds a bit soft, but would you mind,... 811 01:03:36,947 --> 01:03:41,954 I mean like, would you object if I was to move this table and chair over there 812 01:03:41,955 --> 01:03:44,229 by the edge of the sea? 813 01:03:46,830 --> 01:03:50,162 You want I move table, chair to edge of sea? 814 01:03:50,963 --> 01:03:53,851 - Yeah. - Why? 815 01:03:53,952 --> 01:03:55,798 You don't like my bar? 816 01:03:56,199 --> 01:03:57,653 Yeah,... 817 01:03:57,654 --> 01:04:00,054 it's a lovely bar, it's,... 818 01:04:00,154 --> 01:04:02,515 it's just that I've got this soft little dream about 819 01:04:02,516 --> 01:04:04,677 sitting at a table by the edge of the sea. 820 01:04:04,678 --> 01:04:06,898 Ah, a dream. 821 01:04:07,499 --> 01:04:10,972 So, I move table to edge of sea,... 822 01:04:11,673 --> 01:04:14,288 I make your dream come true? 823 01:04:16,689 --> 01:04:18,368 Yeah, I think so. 824 01:04:19,369 --> 01:04:21,940 Sure, it's no problem. 825 01:04:47,141 --> 01:04:49,520 - Thanks. - Oh, it's my pleasure. 826 01:04:50,021 --> 01:04:53,167 I move table to sea, and tonight in my bar, 827 01:04:53,168 --> 01:04:55,922 I can tell the customers, "Tonight...", er,... 828 01:04:55,923 --> 01:05:00,716 "Tonight, I make someone's dream come true". Please... 829 01:05:46,617 --> 01:05:48,505 It's funny, isn't it? 830 01:05:49,706 --> 01:05:52,494 You know, when you picture something,... 831 01:05:52,695 --> 01:05:54,731 and you've imagined how something's going to be... 832 01:05:54,732 --> 01:05:57,706 Well, it never turns out like that, does it? 833 01:05:59,707 --> 01:06:03,338 I mean, for weeks I've pictured myself sitting here,... 834 01:06:04,339 --> 01:06:07,302 sitting here, drinking wine, by the sea, 835 01:06:07,303 --> 01:06:10,537 and, and, I knew exactly how I was going to feel. 836 01:06:13,538 --> 01:06:16,471 Now I'm here, it doesn't feel a bit like that. 837 01:06:18,672 --> 01:06:21,975 I don't feel at all lovely, and serene. I feel... 838 01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:26,279 pretty daft, actually. 839 01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:30,299 - And awfully,... 840 01:06:30,900 --> 01:06:32,900 - awfully old. 841 01:06:40,500 --> 01:06:42,691 - I've lead such a little life,... 842 01:06:44,892 --> 01:06:47,808 and even that could be over pretty soon. 843 01:06:50,309 --> 01:06:55,008 I have... allowed myself to lead this little life, 844 01:06:55,009 --> 01:06:57,792 when inside me, there is so much more,... 845 01:06:59,993 --> 01:07:02,173 and it's all gone unused,... 846 01:07:03,474 --> 01:07:05,633 and now it never will be. 847 01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:13,534 Why do we get all this life if we don't ever use it? 848 01:07:15,435 --> 01:07:17,566 Why do we get all these... 849 01:07:19,567 --> 01:07:21,239 feelings,... 850 01:07:23,140 --> 01:07:25,906 and dreams, and hopes... 851 01:07:28,207 --> 01:07:30,662 if we don't ever use them? 852 01:07:36,263 --> 01:07:39,219 That's where Shirley Valentine disappeared to. 853 01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:44,500 She got lost in all this unused life. 854 01:08:18,401 --> 01:08:20,005 Dreams,... 855 01:08:21,606 --> 01:08:25,349 they are never in the place you expect them to be. 856 01:08:37,450 --> 01:08:41,268 Come, I er,... I escort you to your hotel. 857 01:08:44,169 --> 01:08:45,594 Okay. 858 01:08:48,895 --> 01:08:52,801 I am... I am Costas Demitriadis. 859 01:08:53,602 --> 01:08:55,131 I'm Shirley... 860 01:08:56,232 --> 01:08:58,286 - Hello. - Hello. 861 01:09:08,987 --> 01:09:10,439 Thanks for seeing me home. 862 01:09:10,440 --> 01:09:13,175 No, I er,... I enjoy it. 863 01:09:17,376 --> 01:09:18,872 So... 864 01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:23,270 Er,... tomorrow, you want come with me? 865 01:09:23,671 --> 01:09:24,689 Pardon? 866 01:09:24,690 --> 01:09:28,704 I... I take brother's boat. We go round the island. 867 01:09:29,705 --> 01:09:31,299 Oh, no, no, thanks. 868 01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:33,754 I mean, honestly, you've been really kind, but... 869 01:09:33,755 --> 01:09:35,290 No, it's no problem. 870 01:09:35,691 --> 01:09:39,931 It's no problem. It's my pleasure. I umm, I come bring you early. 871 01:09:40,232 --> 01:09:43,111 No,... no, no, really. I don't think I should, because... 872 01:09:43,112 --> 01:09:46,349 - You're afraid. - No, no, of course not. 873 01:09:46,350 --> 01:09:47,568 You're afraid. 874 01:09:47,569 --> 01:09:50,933 You're afraid that, I want make fuck with you. 875 01:09:51,534 --> 01:09:53,008 What? 876 01:09:54,109 --> 01:09:55,509 Hahaha... 877 01:09:56,009 --> 01:09:58,345 Of course, I want make fuck with you... 878 01:09:58,346 --> 01:10:00,049 You are beautiful woman... 879 01:10:00,050 --> 01:10:03,162 A man would be crazy not to want make fuck with you, 880 01:10:03,163 --> 01:10:06,209 but... I don't ask you to fuck. 881 01:10:06,610 --> 01:10:09,109 I ask to come on brother's boat. 882 01:10:09,410 --> 01:10:11,010 Different thing. 883 01:10:11,510 --> 01:10:12,954 Boat is boat,... 884 01:10:13,355 --> 01:10:14,857 fuck is fuck. 885 01:10:14,858 --> 01:10:17,523 - Absolutely... bloody... charming! 886 01:10:19,524 --> 01:10:23,128 So, I er,... I come er,... tomorrow morning 9 o'clock umm, 887 01:10:23,129 --> 01:10:26,687 I bring food, I bring wine, and we go. 888 01:10:27,188 --> 01:10:31,810 Er, tomorrow umm,... I just er,... make you happy, eh? 889 01:10:32,211 --> 01:10:34,090 No need to be sad. 890 01:10:34,791 --> 01:10:39,541 - And no need to be afraid. I give word of honour... 891 01:10:40,142 --> 01:10:44,011 I don't try... to make fuck with you. 892 01:10:47,112 --> 01:10:48,483 Okay? 893 01:10:50,684 --> 01:10:52,080 Okay. 894 01:10:53,981 --> 01:10:55,955 See ya in the morning. 895 01:11:12,456 --> 01:11:15,487 Oh, God,... he's come up to me room! 896 01:11:17,188 --> 01:11:19,134 Alright, I'm coming! 897 01:11:24,535 --> 01:11:27,531 Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me? 898 01:11:27,932 --> 01:11:30,722 I've been completely selfish, haven't I? 899 01:11:32,523 --> 01:11:34,686 But I'm going to make it up to you. 900 01:11:35,887 --> 01:11:37,831 - Oh, c'mon, say you forgive me. 901 01:11:37,832 --> 01:11:40,912 - Let's make today the real start of our holiday. 902 01:11:41,113 --> 01:11:43,825 I've hired the car. We'll tow the island... 903 01:11:43,826 --> 01:11:47,415 - Stop off and have lunch somewhere really nice, just the 2 of us. 904 01:11:48,016 --> 01:11:51,005 Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me? 905 01:11:51,706 --> 01:11:53,940 Of course I forgive you. 906 01:11:53,941 --> 01:11:55,241 - Awww. 907 01:11:58,141 --> 01:12:01,031 I know you must have been having the most awful time. 908 01:12:01,832 --> 01:12:05,102 I suppose you've just been sitting here, talking to the wall, haven't you? 909 01:12:05,103 --> 01:12:08,422 Nevermind, I'll do a quick change, and we'll get straight off. 910 01:12:16,523 --> 01:12:18,485 Yes, what is it, room service? 911 01:12:18,886 --> 01:12:20,890 Shirley, did you order something? 912 01:12:22,591 --> 01:12:23,786 Shirley. 913 01:12:24,387 --> 01:12:26,422 Shirley, you come now?... You late! 914 01:12:26,423 --> 01:12:31,823 I put umm,... food, wine on boat, and I wait down, but you don't come. 915 01:12:31,924 --> 01:12:36,012 Then... I realisation... umm... 916 01:12:36,013 --> 01:12:40,972 Shirley and me, we are er, going bed so late last night, 917 01:12:40,973 --> 01:12:41,673 umm,... 918 01:12:41,673 --> 01:12:44,347 - probaby, she's er, overslept. 919 01:12:44,448 --> 01:12:45,848 Oh,... yeah. 920 01:12:45,948 --> 01:12:48,242 - So, umm,... you come now? 921 01:12:48,443 --> 01:12:50,280 I er,... I wait down. 922 01:12:50,681 --> 01:12:52,652 Please... Please hurry. 923 01:12:54,053 --> 01:12:58,719 Oh, I... I umm, apologise for the interrupt... 924 01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,472 You may now continue cleaning room. 925 01:13:05,873 --> 01:13:07,213 Shirley... 926 01:13:08,014 --> 01:13:09,514 What are you playing at?! 927 01:13:09,514 --> 01:13:12,968 Me?! You're the one that went off with the 'walking groin'! 928 01:13:12,969 --> 01:13:15,565 Now, look, Shirley, you've never been abroad before. 929 01:13:15,566 --> 01:13:19,295 - You don't know what you're doing. - Jane, he's just a kind man. 930 01:13:19,296 --> 01:13:23,177 Oh, Shirley! Men like that, these Greek islanders,... 931 01:13:23,178 --> 01:13:25,139 they're just waiting for bored, middle aged women! 932 01:13:25,140 --> 01:13:26,588 Don't you dare! 933 01:13:30,189 --> 01:13:31,409 Shirley! 934 01:13:32,610 --> 01:13:34,763 I just hope you know what you're doing. 935 01:13:34,764 --> 01:13:36,992 I hope for your sake, you're going to be safe. 936 01:13:36,993 --> 01:13:39,747 Oh, I'm sure I will. He's a very good sailor... 937 01:13:39,948 --> 01:13:41,934 And anyway, he's given me his word of honour, 938 01:13:41,935 --> 01:13:44,199 he won't try and make fuck with me. 939 01:13:46,500 --> 01:13:49,556 Dougie! Jeannette! How are you both? 940 01:13:49,557 --> 01:13:51,166 This is my friend Jane. 941 01:13:51,167 --> 01:13:53,880 I was just telling her what a marvellous couple you are. 942 01:13:54,281 --> 01:13:55,908 Do you know what she said? 943 01:13:56,809 --> 01:13:59,840 She said, she'd love to spend an hour or 2 on the beach with you. 944 01:14:00,141 --> 01:14:01,626 Bye, bye, Jane. 945 01:14:02,527 --> 01:14:05,892 Well, we were just off to the beach, actually. 946 01:14:06,393 --> 01:14:09,820 You come with us, love. You're more than welcome. 947 01:14:37,421 --> 01:14:39,510 I'm steering the boat, you know. 948 01:14:56,111 --> 01:14:59,108 Shall we try to pass in this direction... 949 01:14:59,809 --> 01:15:02,777 Er, there we are going to find er, small bay. 950 01:15:03,078 --> 01:15:04,878 Very beautiful... 951 01:15:06,378 --> 01:15:08,248 There we are going to fish,... 952 01:15:08,249 --> 01:15:11,097 er, we eat, drink,... talk. 953 01:15:12,098 --> 01:15:13,300 Come on. 954 01:15:44,501 --> 01:15:47,183 - ...but with the rope, you know... - Ohhh... 955 01:15:53,684 --> 01:15:57,783 - What is it with you, Costas? - No, I don't, er... 956 01:15:58,384 --> 01:16:01,239 You really know how to talk to women, don't you? 957 01:16:01,740 --> 01:16:03,075 Well, I... 958 01:16:03,976 --> 01:16:05,953 I mean, most fellas, you know, 959 01:16:05,954 --> 01:16:08,074 they've got no idea how to talk to a woman. 960 01:16:08,175 --> 01:16:10,070 - No? - No. 961 01:16:10,371 --> 01:16:12,517 They feel they have to take over the conversation. 962 01:16:13,818 --> 01:16:16,314 I mean... I mean, with most fellas, if you say something like... 963 01:16:16,315 --> 01:16:18,591 like, "My favourite season's Autumn", they go, 964 01:16:18,592 --> 01:16:20,621 "Oh, is it? My favourite season's Spring", 965 01:16:20,622 --> 01:16:22,892 and then you've got 10 minutes of them talking about why they like Spring, 966 01:16:22,893 --> 01:16:25,903 and you aint talking about Spring... You're talking about Autumn. 967 01:16:30,204 --> 01:16:31,895 So, what d'ya do? 968 01:16:34,896 --> 01:16:37,167 Talk about what they want to talk about,... 969 01:16:38,468 --> 01:16:42,623 or you don't talk at all,... or you wind up talking to yourself. 970 01:16:46,924 --> 01:16:48,664 You don't do that. 971 01:16:49,664 --> 01:16:51,164 No, I know... 972 01:16:51,865 --> 01:16:54,698 I er,... I just like er, listen... 973 01:16:55,999 --> 01:16:57,752 Also look. 974 01:17:03,553 --> 01:17:05,197 For you, I umm,... 975 01:17:06,098 --> 01:17:07,709 I happy. 976 01:17:17,410 --> 01:17:18,818 Hey, Costas,... 977 01:17:19,619 --> 01:17:21,519 how deep do you think it is down there? 978 01:17:21,619 --> 01:17:25,524 - Oh, maybe a thousand metres. - Go away! 979 01:17:26,425 --> 01:17:29,515 Maybe er, maybe 10 thousand. Who knows? 980 01:17:30,816 --> 01:17:32,736 Maybe... maybe it's so deep, 981 01:17:33,537 --> 01:17:35,685 it will go on forever. 982 01:17:37,386 --> 01:17:40,056 - I wanna jump in. - Do you wanna swim? 983 01:17:40,657 --> 01:17:42,564 I wanna jump off the roof! 984 01:17:45,565 --> 01:17:49,457 I think umm,... Shirley Valentine is umm, 985 01:17:49,458 --> 01:17:50,758 little bit crazy. 986 01:17:51,058 --> 01:17:52,083 Costas,... 987 01:17:52,084 --> 01:17:55,884 Shirley Valentine is loop-the-fucking-loop! 988 01:17:55,984 --> 01:17:57,919 Loop-the-fucking-loop? 989 01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:00,742 The only thing is, I... I haven't got me cozzy on. 990 01:18:01,243 --> 01:18:03,085 Now, cozzy, what is? 991 01:18:03,386 --> 01:18:05,486 My swimming costume. 992 01:18:05,479 --> 01:18:06,880 Ahha! 993 01:18:47,081 --> 01:18:48,081 Hey! 994 01:19:07,681 --> 01:19:10,086 It's marvellous to be with such a good man. 995 01:19:11,687 --> 01:19:14,895 I know whatever happens, he won't take anything from me. 996 01:19:16,596 --> 01:19:18,675 I know he'll keep his promise. 997 01:19:19,576 --> 01:19:22,365 The truth is, I don't want him to. 998 01:20:31,566 --> 01:20:33,485 Oh my God!... 999 01:20:33,586 --> 01:20:36,186 Where did that orchestra come from?! 1000 01:20:36,787 --> 01:20:38,087 Ohh...! 1001 01:20:49,285 --> 01:20:50,385 Oh!... 1002 01:20:53,986 --> 01:20:55,799 He kissed me stretch marks! 1003 01:20:56,900 --> 01:20:58,831 You kissed my stretch marks! 1004 01:20:59,032 --> 01:21:00,532 Oh,... my,... 1005 01:21:01,033 --> 01:21:01,933 don't... 1006 01:21:01,932 --> 01:21:05,063 don't be too stupid to try to hide these lines. 1007 01:21:05,070 --> 01:21:07,163 They... they are lovely, 1008 01:21:07,164 --> 01:21:09,320 because they are part of you, 1009 01:21:09,421 --> 01:21:10,894 and you are lovely, 1010 01:21:10,895 --> 01:21:12,595 so, don't umm,... 1011 01:21:12,596 --> 01:21:14,096 don't hide. 1012 01:21:14,095 --> 01:21:16,314 Be proud, eh. Show them. 1013 01:21:16,315 --> 01:21:19,378 These... these marks show that er,... 1014 01:21:19,379 --> 01:21:20,979 That you're alive... 1015 01:21:21,079 --> 01:21:22,827 That you survive. 1016 01:21:23,328 --> 01:21:27,293 Don't try to hide these lines. They are the marks of life. 1017 01:21:27,694 --> 01:21:30,069 Aren't men full of shit?! 1018 01:21:43,570 --> 01:21:45,677 I think I've fallen in love. 1019 01:21:47,778 --> 01:21:49,563 Oh, for God's sake, Shirley! 1020 01:21:49,564 --> 01:21:51,601 You're acting like a stupid teenager! 1021 01:21:52,202 --> 01:21:54,271 I s'pose the next thing you're gonna tell me was that 1022 01:21:54,272 --> 01:21:55,816 the earth moved. 1023 01:21:55,917 --> 01:21:58,270 Jane, I thought there'd been an earthquake. 1024 01:21:58,271 --> 01:22:00,860 Oh, spare me the details,... please! 1025 01:22:02,261 --> 01:22:04,433 Oh, listen, Jane... 1026 01:22:04,434 --> 01:22:05,734 Jane, listen! 1027 01:22:06,034 --> 01:22:08,430 I... I haven't fallen in love with him. 1028 01:22:08,931 --> 01:22:12,686 It was sweet. It was a day full of... kindness, 1029 01:22:13,187 --> 01:22:15,299 but I haven't fallen in love with him! 1030 01:22:15,700 --> 01:22:16,700 - Pffft. 1031 01:22:20,300 --> 01:22:22,248 I haven't fallen in love with him,... 1032 01:22:24,749 --> 01:22:27,541 I've fallen in love with the idea of living. 1033 01:22:29,942 --> 01:22:31,151 Why? 1034 01:22:31,652 --> 01:22:33,974 I mean, why'd she have to do this to me? 1035 01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:37,069 If she wanted to go on holiday... 1036 01:22:37,270 --> 01:22:40,736 all she had to do was ask. I'd have let her. 1037 01:22:41,737 --> 01:22:43,748 There was no need for deceit. 1038 01:22:44,049 --> 01:22:47,155 I mean, I may not be the best husband in the world,... wall, 1039 01:22:47,156 --> 01:22:48,456 but I love her. 1040 01:22:48,556 --> 01:22:51,987 I do, I love her... Honest! 1041 01:22:52,588 --> 01:22:54,168 Flowers... 1042 01:22:54,969 --> 01:22:57,137 - Are they good? - Yes, good flowers. 1043 01:22:57,438 --> 01:22:59,388 - How much is it? - 500 1044 01:23:01,888 --> 01:23:02,988 Here ya are. 1045 01:23:03,289 --> 01:23:07,095 - Thank you very much. - Oh, thank you. 1046 01:23:11,496 --> 01:23:13,649 - Bravo, Miguelo! Bravo! 1047 01:23:15,850 --> 01:23:17,350 - Bravo, Miguelo! 1048 01:23:48,350 --> 01:23:49,654 Shirley! 1049 01:23:50,955 --> 01:23:53,625 Come this way, come... Join the family. 1050 01:23:53,626 --> 01:23:54,926 My neice is becoming married. 1051 01:23:54,930 --> 01:23:56,221 No, no, I can't. 1052 01:23:56,222 --> 01:23:58,259 - I would be interfering... - Oh, come, come, look, please. 1053 01:23:58,460 --> 01:24:01,018 It's good... it's good that we meet here. 1054 01:26:11,619 --> 01:26:12,932 Bravo! 1055 01:26:20,233 --> 01:26:22,731 - You enjoy this wedding? - It's wonderful! 1056 01:26:24,332 --> 01:26:26,937 The man that standing there, in the denim jacket... 1057 01:26:27,838 --> 01:26:29,658 I'll tell you something really funny... 1058 01:26:29,859 --> 01:26:33,759 For 2 years... - Sorry, Madam, I need to borrow Costas! 1059 01:27:12,865 --> 01:27:15,070 Shirley... Shirley... 1060 01:27:15,071 --> 01:27:16,571 Where are you going? 1061 01:27:16,580 --> 01:27:19,983 You don't like my family, my friends? 1062 01:27:19,984 --> 01:27:22,513 Oh, no, Costas, they're lovely! 1063 01:27:22,514 --> 01:27:24,838 So, why... why you go? 1064 01:27:24,939 --> 01:27:28,439 I just... I just wanna be on my own for a bit. 1065 01:27:29,850 --> 01:27:31,046 Do you undertstand? 1066 01:27:32,047 --> 01:27:34,168 You... you are again sad? 1067 01:27:35,469 --> 01:27:36,430 No. 1068 01:27:37,431 --> 01:27:39,401 No, I'm not sad, it's... 1069 01:27:39,602 --> 01:27:42,207 just that I go back home... soon. 1070 01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:46,096 Back to your own life. 1071 01:27:47,197 --> 01:27:48,554 Yeah. 1072 01:27:50,955 --> 01:27:54,343 Go on,.... go, go back, they're all waiting for ya! 1073 01:27:54,344 --> 01:27:55,548 Why...? 1074 01:27:58,149 --> 01:28:01,968 - I... I see you tomorrow? - Yeah, see you tomorrow. 1075 01:28:23,969 --> 01:28:26,217 I've got this thought in my head. 1076 01:28:28,518 --> 01:28:30,356 This shocking thought, 1077 01:28:31,957 --> 01:28:33,712 and it won't go away. 1078 01:28:35,613 --> 01:28:38,433 I keep trying to think of other things,... 1079 01:28:38,434 --> 01:28:41,001 to make this thought go away, but it won't. 1080 01:28:43,302 --> 01:28:45,628 It's always there, in me head. 1081 01:28:59,429 --> 01:29:01,045 If... 1082 01:29:04,346 --> 01:29:08,422 if for some reason... I didn't go back home,... 1083 01:29:10,923 --> 01:29:13,049 who would miss me? 1084 01:29:24,649 --> 01:29:25,749 Aye? 1085 01:29:26,650 --> 01:29:30,333 - 2 coffees, please. - Oh, yeah. 1086 01:29:32,434 --> 01:29:34,546 Yeah, 2 coffees... Right. 1087 01:29:39,147 --> 01:29:40,816 I mean, look... 1088 01:29:41,517 --> 01:29:44,415 If I didn't go back, who would really care? 1089 01:29:45,816 --> 01:29:52,136 They... they... they'd notice I wasn't there, but they wouldn'y miss me,... would they? 1090 01:29:56,237 --> 01:30:00,458 Why should I go back to being that woman, when that woman isn't needed anymore? 1091 01:30:01,859 --> 01:30:03,181 I told ya,... 1092 01:30:05,582 --> 01:30:07,765 there's nothing else for me to do. 1093 01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:13,465 Oh. 1094 01:30:15,266 --> 01:30:18,989 - Shirley, who are you talking? - The wall, Costas... 1095 01:30:19,690 --> 01:30:20,990 Just the wall. 1096 01:30:23,370 --> 01:30:24,855 My God! 1097 01:30:29,256 --> 01:30:31,551 Excuse me, waiter. 1098 01:30:31,552 --> 01:30:33,722 I'm serious, Jane. I mean it. 1099 01:30:33,723 --> 01:30:36,619 Oh, for God's sake! What about your children, for a start?! 1100 01:30:36,620 --> 01:30:39,632 What about them? They're grown up. 1101 01:30:39,633 --> 01:30:43,448 Jane, I've spent 20 odd years, rearing them, 1102 01:30:43,449 --> 01:30:45,884 looking after them 'til they were old enough to make their own way, 1103 01:30:45,885 --> 01:30:47,605 and they have... They've gone. 1104 01:30:48,206 --> 01:30:52,379 Oh, I mean, they'll say it's awful... They'll say it's terrible 1105 01:30:52,380 --> 01:30:56,260 to have a Mother who went on holiday, and didn't come back, but... 1106 01:30:56,261 --> 01:30:57,914 they'll get over it. 1107 01:30:59,214 --> 01:31:00,614 I mean,... 1108 01:31:01,015 --> 01:31:04,653 would it cause anyone any real suffering if I didn't go home? 1109 01:31:07,054 --> 01:31:10,660 - Would it, Jane? - Shirley, every year, 1110 01:31:10,661 --> 01:31:13,373 millions and millions of people go on holiday, 1111 01:31:13,374 --> 01:31:17,169 and every year, those same millions and millions of people have such a good time 1112 01:31:17,170 --> 01:31:19,092 that they don't wanna go back. 1113 01:31:19,693 --> 01:31:22,471 - Yeah, but just supposing... - And that's all there is to it. 1114 01:31:22,472 --> 01:31:25,828 Now, if you don't mind, Shirley, I'm trying to order lunch. 1115 01:31:26,829 --> 01:31:29,109 Can we have 2 Greek salads please? 1116 01:31:29,610 --> 01:31:32,731 - And... stuffed tomatoes. - Yeah. 1117 01:31:33,032 --> 01:31:34,642 - And is the mussaka special? - Yes. 1118 01:31:34,743 --> 01:31:38,013 - Yeah, mussaka special please. - And one lamb with green beans. 1119 01:31:38,014 --> 01:31:39,036 - Yeah,... 1120 01:31:40,537 --> 01:31:43,566 because we don't do what we want to do, do we? 1121 01:31:44,267 --> 01:31:47,616 We do what we have to do, and pretend it's what we want to do. 1122 01:31:48,517 --> 01:31:53,318 And what I want to do is to stay here, and be Shirley Valentine,... 1123 01:31:54,319 --> 01:31:56,821 but what I have to do is to go back,... 1124 01:31:56,822 --> 01:31:59,808 back to being Saint Joan of the kitchen sink. 1125 01:32:03,709 --> 01:32:07,508 - Shirley, come on, it's just going! - I'm coming! 1126 01:32:08,509 --> 01:32:11,113 Goodbye, Renos... thanks. 1127 01:32:11,914 --> 01:32:14,851 Madam, you come back next year, I hope. 1128 01:32:14,852 --> 01:32:19,094 - Oh, Renos, I hope. - Good trip, Madam. 1129 01:32:20,995 --> 01:32:22,695 Thank you, Renos. 1130 01:32:24,495 --> 01:32:28,305 - Shirley, your bags are onboard. Come on! 1131 01:32:36,206 --> 01:32:38,663 Shirley! There you go. 1132 01:32:41,164 --> 01:32:44,619 Costas,... we said goodbye. 1133 01:32:44,820 --> 01:32:48,655 Yes, but umm,... I am here. 1134 01:32:50,956 --> 01:32:52,202 So... 1135 01:32:54,003 --> 01:32:55,723 Goodbye, Shirley... 1136 01:32:56,924 --> 01:32:59,323 Goodbye, Shirley Valentine. 1137 01:33:01,324 --> 01:33:02,916 See ya, Costas. 1138 01:33:05,817 --> 01:33:08,017 - Ohhh... - Ohhh... 1139 01:33:46,217 --> 01:33:48,479 - There are 2 of you? - Yeah, 2. 1140 01:33:59,280 --> 01:34:00,410 Thank you. 1141 01:34:01,011 --> 01:34:02,111 Right then. 1142 01:34:02,411 --> 01:34:03,855 Your attention please... 1143 01:34:03,856 --> 01:34:08,513 This is the last call for Olympic Airways flight 259, to Manchester... 1144 01:34:08,514 --> 01:34:11,372 Closing now at gate number 1. 1145 01:34:19,273 --> 01:34:20,642 Shirley! 1146 01:34:21,543 --> 01:34:23,741 Shirley, where are you going?! 1147 01:34:24,742 --> 01:34:26,068 Shirley! 1148 01:34:31,669 --> 01:34:34,539 - She's gone. - What d'ya expect? 1149 01:34:34,540 --> 01:34:36,282 Jeanette. 1150 01:34:49,083 --> 01:34:52,020 - And tomorrow, we take my brother's boat... 1151 01:34:52,021 --> 01:34:55,612 Go all round the island. Afraid? 1152 01:34:57,113 --> 01:34:59,883 Afraid that I want try make fuck with you. 1153 01:34:59,884 --> 01:35:01,111 What? 1154 01:35:01,512 --> 01:35:05,374 But I don't ask to try to make fuck with you, I... 1155 01:35:05,375 --> 01:35:08,906 I ask to come brother's boat. It's different thing... 1156 01:35:09,107 --> 01:35:12,853 Boat is boat, and fuck is... fuck. 1157 01:35:16,554 --> 01:35:20,548 My goodness! E... e... excuse me for one moment. 1158 01:35:23,649 --> 01:35:26,269 It's alright, Costas, you don't have to worry. 1159 01:35:26,470 --> 01:35:28,098 You lose the plane? 1160 01:35:28,099 --> 01:35:31,222 Don't worry, Costas, I haven't come back for you! 1161 01:35:32,423 --> 01:35:36,052 I've come back for a job. A job in this taverna. 1162 01:35:36,053 --> 01:35:40,286 - You sure? You... you want work here? - Yeah, why not? 1163 01:35:40,287 --> 01:35:42,991 I mean, this place could do with someone to sort it out. 1164 01:35:42,992 --> 01:35:47,849 I mean, given the amount of time you spend on your brother's boat. 1165 01:36:08,150 --> 01:36:11,941 Sorry, Joe,... she's not coming back. 1166 01:36:18,442 --> 01:36:22,897 ...and I'll tell you what, and I'll tell you what, I said, "Never again, Douglas". 1167 01:37:05,998 --> 01:37:09,785 Shirley... Someone to see you on the telephone. 1168 01:37:18,286 --> 01:37:20,539 - Hello. - You're a disgrace! 1169 01:37:20,540 --> 01:37:24,920 A bloody disgrace,... to... t... to the children, 1170 01:37:24,921 --> 01:37:27,678 to me,... to yourself! 1171 01:37:28,079 --> 01:37:31,517 I'm a laughing stock. That's what I am, a laughing stock! 1172 01:37:31,918 --> 01:37:35,689 - Listen, Joe, umm, I can't talk now, I'm busy. 1173 01:37:35,690 --> 01:37:37,384 - Ya busy doing what? What ya doing? 1174 01:37:37,385 --> 01:37:39,579 I'm... I'm working. D'ya understand? 1175 01:37:39,580 --> 01:37:41,718 No, I bloody don't understand! 1176 01:37:42,619 --> 01:37:45,214 I've taken time from work because of you. 1177 01:37:45,315 --> 01:37:48,044 - Stop this arsing around, and get yourself back home! 1178 01:37:48,045 --> 01:37:49,590 I've had just about enough... 1179 01:37:50,591 --> 01:37:52,077 Hello? 1180 01:37:52,578 --> 01:37:54,149 Shirley? 1181 01:37:55,950 --> 01:37:57,819 Shirl', are you there? 1182 01:38:07,420 --> 01:38:12,694 - Here, Miss? Er, what's this er, klef... - Kleftiko. It's very nice. 1183 01:38:12,695 --> 01:38:15,824 - Oh, you're English! - Well, what a relief! 1184 01:38:15,825 --> 01:38:20,182 - Well, what is this klef... klef...? - Kleftiko. Oh, it's lovely. 1185 01:38:20,183 --> 01:38:23,304 It's lamb cooked very, very slowly in oregano. 1186 01:38:23,505 --> 01:38:27,611 - No, I... I... I don't think so. - It's all bit umm, umm,... 1187 01:38:27,612 --> 01:38:31,768 Tell ya what. Listen er, it's not on the menu, 1188 01:38:31,769 --> 01:38:34,147 but would ya like me to do ya both some chips n' egg? 1189 01:38:34,148 --> 01:38:36,676 - Ohhh, yes! - Smashing! 1190 01:38:36,877 --> 01:38:38,201 Right. 1191 01:38:41,102 --> 01:38:44,473 - I'm phoning from work, because our phone's out of order, that's why. 1192 01:38:44,474 --> 01:38:45,833 - Why? 1193 01:38:45,934 --> 01:38:48,062 It's costing me a bleeding fortune this time of the day... 1194 01:38:48,063 --> 01:38:49,683 Now, listen to me, Shirl',... 1195 01:38:49,784 --> 01:38:51,904 you belong back here! 1196 01:38:52,405 --> 01:38:55,192 Don't put the phone down. Don't... Hello, Shirley? 1197 01:38:55,393 --> 01:38:56,748 Now, listen,... 1198 01:38:56,949 --> 01:38:59,953 Jane's told me all about it, you know, about umm,... 1199 01:39:00,154 --> 01:39:03,514 about you, making a fool of yourself with this holiday romance thing. 1200 01:39:03,515 --> 01:39:06,093 - No... no, Joe, you've got it all wrong. 1201 01:39:06,094 --> 01:39:10,141 - O... o... okay umm,... alright, okay, it happens, okay, 1202 01:39:10,142 --> 01:39:13,932 middle aged women makes fools of themselves when they go abroad, 1203 01:39:14,233 --> 01:39:18,823 but look, I'm prepared to forgive ya, if you're prepared 1204 01:39:18,924 --> 01:39:22,730 to promise that you'll get yourself on a plane, 1205 01:39:22,731 --> 01:39:24,425 and get yourself back home. 1206 01:39:24,426 --> 01:39:27,757 Joe, will ya listen for one moment? Will ya just listen?! 1207 01:39:29,258 --> 01:39:33,015 The only holiday romance I've had is with myself,... 1208 01:39:34,016 --> 01:39:35,333 and... 1209 01:39:35,634 --> 01:39:38,634 and I think I've come to like myself really. 1210 01:39:39,134 --> 01:39:41,037 I think I'm alright. 1211 01:39:41,738 --> 01:39:45,788 I think if I saw myself, I'd say, "That woman's okay". 1212 01:39:46,689 --> 01:39:50,010 - But, Shirl', ya can't just run away from life. 1213 01:39:50,011 --> 01:39:52,256 - That's right, Joe, I agree with you! 1214 01:39:52,757 --> 01:39:54,476 And now that I have found some life, 1215 01:39:54,477 --> 01:39:57,138 I have no intention of running away from it. 1216 01:39:57,139 --> 01:39:58,458 - But you belong back here. 1217 01:39:58,459 --> 01:40:01,028 - Please, Joe. It's no good to keep phoning, 1218 01:40:01,029 --> 01:40:02,900 because I'm not coming back. 1219 01:40:04,401 --> 01:40:07,141 Can't you understand? I'm not coming home. 1220 01:40:08,042 --> 01:40:10,504 But, Shirley, don't you understand, love,... 1221 01:40:11,105 --> 01:40:12,339 you don't know what you're saying, 1222 01:40:12,340 --> 01:40:15,921 because you're going through the... the change of life. 1223 01:40:16,222 --> 01:40:20,338 That's right, Joe. That's exactly what it is... 1224 01:40:21,139 --> 01:40:23,123 It's a change of life. 1225 01:40:27,024 --> 01:40:29,194 Why don't you go and see her, Dad? 1226 01:40:30,195 --> 01:40:32,733 She's in Greece. She's not down the soddin' road! 1227 01:40:32,734 --> 01:40:35,454 - So? Go to Greece!. - Go to Greece... 1228 01:40:35,755 --> 01:40:37,467 I've got a business to run! 1229 01:40:37,968 --> 01:40:39,992 What is it with people when they get old? 1230 01:40:40,393 --> 01:40:43,493 Old?... Who's old? I'm only in my forties. 1231 01:40:43,495 --> 01:40:46,907 Yeah, I know,... but you're frightened, aren't ya? 1232 01:40:47,308 --> 01:40:48,442 Frightened of what? 1233 01:40:48,443 --> 01:40:51,031 You're frightened of anything that's different, Dad. 1234 01:40:52,232 --> 01:40:56,198 I used to like you,... I did! You were great, you know... 1235 01:40:56,199 --> 01:40:58,971 Used to laugh, used to talk to us all. 1236 01:41:00,472 --> 01:41:03,318 You've not half become a boring bastard. 1237 01:41:08,119 --> 01:41:09,921 Oh, here she is! 1238 01:41:10,122 --> 01:41:12,431 - Chips n' egg? - Smashing! 1239 01:41:15,932 --> 01:41:18,557 - Hello, Costas. - Hello, Shirl'. 1240 01:41:18,558 --> 01:41:19,758 Hey,... 1241 01:41:20,059 --> 01:41:22,059 come for you, one telegram. 1242 01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:23,360 - Oh... 1243 01:41:26,358 --> 01:41:27,678 Bad news? 1244 01:41:28,578 --> 01:41:29,878 No. 1245 01:41:30,379 --> 01:41:32,884 - No, not really, it's from Joe. - Ah. 1246 01:41:32,885 --> 01:41:35,397 He's coming to fetch me, to take me back home. 1247 01:41:35,598 --> 01:41:38,789 God, love him. He must have been watching "Rambo"! 1248 01:41:39,489 --> 01:41:40,689 "Rambo?". 1249 01:41:40,690 --> 01:41:43,545 - What, Joe is coming here? - Yeah. 1250 01:41:43,946 --> 01:41:46,640 - When er, when he come? - Er, Friday. 1251 01:41:46,641 --> 01:41:50,744 - Friday er,... tomorrow Friday? - Yeah. 1252 01:41:52,245 --> 01:41:56,967 Yeah, that's, ohhh, it's pity because... umm, I received telephone call, 1253 01:41:56,968 --> 01:42:01,725 I must go... er, in Athens. Er, my sister's very sick... umm,.... 1254 01:42:01,726 --> 01:42:04,198 she want me to... to be. 1255 01:42:04,899 --> 01:42:06,046 So... 1256 01:42:06,447 --> 01:42:07,947 I sorry. 1257 01:42:08,947 --> 01:42:10,584 You understand, Shirley? 1258 01:42:11,185 --> 01:42:14,871 Ohhh, yeahhh, Costas, of course I understand! 1259 01:42:19,072 --> 01:42:20,324 Goodnight, Shirley. 1260 01:42:20,325 --> 01:42:22,341 - Goodnight, Julie. Goodnight, John. 1261 01:43:39,042 --> 01:43:41,623 Aww, I hope he stays for a while. 1262 01:43:43,424 --> 01:43:45,512 He needs a holiday. 1263 01:43:47,013 --> 01:43:48,958 He needs to feel the sun on his skin, 1264 01:43:48,959 --> 01:43:52,184 and to be in water that's as deep as forever. 1265 01:44:29,085 --> 01:44:30,530 Joe. 1266 01:44:46,431 --> 01:44:48,410 I didn't recognise ya. 1267 01:44:49,411 --> 01:44:50,832 I know. 1268 01:44:52,433 --> 01:44:56,926 I used to be the Mother. I used to be the wife,... 1269 01:44:58,427 --> 01:45:00,975 but now I'm Shirley Valentine again. 1270 01:45:07,876 --> 01:45:10,148 Would you like to join me for a drink? 1271 01:45:13,149 --> 01:45:14,430 Er,... 1272 01:45:15,931 --> 01:45:17,309 thanks. 1273 01:45:57,710 --> 01:46:07,710 subtitles authored by HOLY HECK HOSTING 101497

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