All language subtitles for Otherhood.2019.1080p.WEBRip.x264-[YTS.LT]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian Download
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German Download
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi Download
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish Download
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:31,948 [intro music] 2 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,418 [woman] Everyone's heard of the city that never sleeps. 3 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,105 - [cars honking] - What about the mothers who never sleep 4 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:50,175 because their boys move to the city and never call? 5 00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:55,096 This is a story about three such mothers and their three sons. 6 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,474 - Oh! Stop the cab! Stop the cab! - [girls scream] 7 00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,476 - [all laugh] - [guy 1] Look where we are. 8 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,436 You guys are such profound assholes. 9 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:04,564 - [guy 1] It's time, Daniel. - I know. I'm still deciding. 10 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,983 - You decided. You got a ring. - [guy 2] Yes. 11 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,568 - You're getting engaged! - Yes. 12 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,153 Right now? Isn't that fantastic? 13 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,989 I'm not asking Erin to marry me tonight, drunk with girls in the car. 14 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,407 - No offense. - Come on! Go! 15 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,891 - [girl] We're going to Matt's. - D, I love you, but get out. 16 00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,078 [girl squeals and laughs] 17 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,080 - [guy 2] Come on. Come on. - [girl 2] Bye. 18 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:21,955 Look... 19 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,125 you are happy with Erin. 20 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,253 Like, happier than I've seen you since... 21 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,005 sixth grade. 22 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:31,774 Dude! Remember when you said you'd have your first novel finished 23 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,927 by the end of the year, three ends-of-the-years ago? 24 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,929 - Horrible pep talk. - These are the facts. 25 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,698 She's hot. I'm gonna do it if you don't. [laughs] 26 00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,450 - That's actually a better pep talk. - [guy 1 shouts] Erin! 27 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,701 - [guy 1] All right. - [Daniel shushes] 28 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,393 Baby! Erin! 29 00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:46,564 - This is why we don't hang out anymore. - [guy 1] Listen to me, okay? 30 00:01:46,731 --> 00:01:48,608 This would be romantic. 31 00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,653 This is the story that she's gonna tell your kids. 32 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:55,573 She's gonna say, "That's the night that he stormed up the stairs 33 00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,450 and got down on one knee..." 34 00:01:58,326 --> 00:02:00,662 And you asked if she would marry you. 35 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,166 - That is novel material. - [guy 2] Novel material. 36 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:10,213 - It would be a pretty great story. - Ahhh! 37 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:15,009 [woman] We were there for every big life event 38 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:18,304 and now we're lucky if we hear about anything at all. 39 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,230 [rummaging noises] 40 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,274 Erin? 41 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,403 Daniel? 42 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,197 What the fuck? 43 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,202 [woman] There's a lot you don't know as mothers. 44 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,329 In fact, that's what bonded us 45 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,999 when the boys' friendship launched our friendship 46 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:49,210 on a playground in Poughkeepsie. 47 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,503 ["Lean on Me" playing] 48 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,214 ♪ Sometimes in our lives ♪ 49 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,842 ♪ We all have pain ♪ 50 00:02:56,259 --> 00:03:00,430 ♪ We all have sorrow ♪ 51 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,723 ♪ But... ♪ 52 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,350 [woman] We've been through so much together. 53 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,978 Graduations, proms, skinned knees, 54 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:12,400 emergency room visits, family vacations, bad days, bad jobs. 55 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,695 And at every scary and unfamiliar stage, 56 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,782 the answer was always "friends." 57 00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,076 [piano playing "Lean on Me"] 58 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:27,290 That's Gillian. She still has kids in the house, 59 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,833 they're just not hers. 60 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:30,835 Why are you teaching today? 61 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:35,882 It's just one lesson. He wants to play this later for his mother. 62 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,968 - He still likes her. - [man] Daniel texted you already. 63 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,764 Nothing says "I don't wanna talk to you" like a text. 64 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,308 - He said he misses us. - That's nice. 65 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,268 Hmm. It's a lie. 66 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,230 - But it's a nice lie. - [chuckles] 67 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,277 - [woman] And that's Helen. - [scoffs] 68 00:03:56,361 --> 00:04:00,198 She never ages. At least, not publicly. 69 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,578 [Helen] Frank, I have to run a few errands before I go to Carol's. 70 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,914 Would you tell her that I could sell her house tomorrow 71 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:09,332 if she just gave me the listing? 72 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,126 [sighs] Are you spray-painting the top of your head again? 73 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,212 I'm tall enough, so no one even sees it. 74 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,214 Unless you're sitting. 75 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,633 Carol talks a good game, Frank, 76 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,969 but she will never sell that house. 77 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,054 You'd have to sell it with her in it. 78 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:27,725 [Carol] The three of us don't see each other as often as we used to. 79 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,394 The boys are gone. 80 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,479 Husbands have come and gone. 81 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,732 But one tradition remains. 82 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,025 [doorbell rings] 83 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,404 - I'm so glad we're still doing this! - [Helen] Happy Mother's Day! 84 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,407 Without husbands and kids, it might actually be fun. 85 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,243 - [Gillian] I brought donuts. - Oh! [laughs] 86 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,869 [Helen] I brought bourbon. 87 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,747 Like, I'm really going to drink a mimosa? It's Mother's Day. 88 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,207 I knew I should have Ubered. 89 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,503 [Helen] Guys, I think the guy at the liquor store was flirting with me. 90 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,756 [Carol] Oh, I can't remember the last time someone flirted with me. 91 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,277 [Helen] I bet it happens all the time. You're just not flirting back. 92 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,511 - [chuckles] - Why do you flirt back? You're married. 93 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,656 [Helen] Well, my marriage isn't as perfect as yours, Gillian. 94 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,015 Besides, flirting isn't cheating, 95 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,891 it's just a little pick-me-up for your ego. 96 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,619 It keeps your in shape, sexually speaking. 97 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,478 - [Carol chuckles] - Ah, so it's sexercise. 98 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,314 Yes, women should sexercise daily. 99 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,400 Ooh! Terrific, another thing that I'm not doing. 100 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,985 - [all laugh] - Come on! 101 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:22,613 There's nothing you're not doing. Look at this spread. 102 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,782 And you're always volunteering... 103 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,661 Oh, please. I teach art in a retirement home two days a week. 104 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,121 I'm hardly Mother Teresa. 105 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,206 And look at your house, it's spotless. 106 00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:35,585 The key to a clean house? Dead husband. [gasps] 107 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:39,672 Oh, God. [chuckles] That came out much darker than I intended. 108 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,759 - No, that's a great household tip. - [all laugh] 109 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,512 What is with these flowers? 110 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,474 Come on, they get bigger every year. Did Matt send these? 111 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,684 Yes. Delivered this morning. 112 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,520 Matty is the perfect son. He never forgets. 113 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,315 - Is he dating anyone? - He doesn't have time. 114 00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,318 And he's helping to launch some new sports magazine. 115 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:03,363 So, he just works, works out and sleeps, so he says. 116 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,074 No, Paul is the same way, he never mentions dating anyone. 117 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,410 God, I wish Daniel would date someone other than that Erin. 118 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:12,084 She's not good enough for him. I told him that. 119 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,207 Oh! And how did that go? 120 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:19,253 - He unfriended me. - See? Now, that's why I'm not on Facebook. 121 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,630 - [Gillian] Aww. - [Helen] Oh! 122 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,716 - Remember how cute they were? - [Gillian] Remember how cute we were? 123 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,343 When did I turn 50? 124 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:29,305 Oh, several years after I did, so shut up and enjoy your youth. 125 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,682 I love that with us, we don't have to lie about our age. 126 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,435 I love with us, we don't have to lie about anything. 127 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,353 Hmm. 128 00:06:35,436 --> 00:06:38,356 [Gillian] Look, I've just polished off a whole donut in front of you two. 129 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:42,443 I didn't even pretend to only want half. Come on, that's friendship. 130 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:44,487 [Helen] Aww, you are so right. 131 00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,910 I sent myself the flowers. 132 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,626 I've been doing it for a while now. 133 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:02,004 And each year it gets more and more depressing 134 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,888 so I get bigger and bigger flowers. [chuckles] 135 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,383 [chuckles] 136 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:06,883 Well... 137 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,720 but you don't include a note, do you? [chuckles] 138 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,266 [laughing] No! I would not write my own... 139 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,309 Yes. 140 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,436 [gasps] 141 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,354 What did the note say this year? 142 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,483 - You are the best mother ever. - Yes. 143 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,736 - Well, you are. - What son forgets Mother's Day? 144 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,448 What kind of son sends a Mother's Day text? 145 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,907 [irritated] Pass the bourbon. 146 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,617 [Gillian] Come on, lazy! 147 00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,619 Buy me some bath salts. Is that so difficult? 148 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,205 Hmm. A candle. A frame, something. 149 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,374 I should have sent myself flowers. It's brilliant. 150 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,585 Daniel can't call me from Long Island City? 151 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,879 God, I have a girl for him to meet. 152 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,173 - The little jerk won't even call me back. - [coughs] 153 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,341 Paul stopped caring about me when I married Frank. 154 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,886 Matt hasn't been home since Finn's funeral. 155 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:54,015 And he barely came home for that, stayed 16 hours, and he wore sneakers. 156 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,184 They were nice ones. They were Gucci. 157 00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,435 [exhales deeply] 158 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,520 What did we do wrong? 159 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,773 We did everything right. That's what we did wrong. 160 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:07,028 And we raised our children to be free-thinking, independent beings 161 00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,447 and now, they just don't need us anymore. 162 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:12,074 Well, they're gonna need us again when they have kids. 163 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,878 - When we're grandmothers. - I don't want to be a grandmother, but... 164 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,455 I would like one Mother's Day card. 165 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,248 [chuckles] 166 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,332 [Gillian] Motherhood. 167 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:24,337 That sinking feeling that as your child's growing up 168 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:28,257 that you're being broken up with, on a gradual but daily basis. 169 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,093 It's inhumane emotional waterboarding. 170 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,348 That is the best description of motherhood I've ever heard. 171 00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,474 Mm-hmm. 172 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:40,269 Well, at this stage, it doesn't feel like motherhood. It feels like "otherhood." 173 00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,480 Oh, my God, you're so right. 174 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:44,315 I don't want to be an other. 175 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,817 Me neither. But what are we going to do? 176 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:49,654 Drive to Manhattan, storm their apartments? 177 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,073 No, we've got to respect their space, 178 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:56,577 let them individuate, blah, blah, blah. 179 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:58,662 Except... 180 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,207 it's fucking Mother's Day. 181 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,213 ["These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" playing] 182 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,301 [screams excitedly] Come on, Carol! We're doing this! 183 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,223 [Helen screaming] I'm so excited! 184 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,766 [Carol] Okay. All set. 185 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,810 [Gillian] Oh, my God. See ya! 186 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:24,730 - I need some grown-up luggage. - This is my good-luck bag from Guatemala. 187 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,941 [Helen excitedly] Here we go! Yay! 188 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,068 [all laughing and screaming] 189 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:34,949 [all three singing] ♪ And now someone else Is getting all your best ♪ 190 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,078 ♪ These boots are made for walking ♪ 191 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,789 ♪ And that's just what they'll do ♪ 192 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:47,295 ♪ And one of these days These boots are gonna walk all over you ♪ 193 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:48,713 [all cheering and screaming] 194 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,965 - [Carol] Go, go boots! - [Gillian] Hear us, boys?! 195 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,175 [Helen] We should go on America's Got Talent. 196 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,677 [all three laughing] 197 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,346 ♪ You keep lying When you ought to be truthing ♪ 198 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,307 What was wrong with the old bridge? 199 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,643 ♪ You keep losing When you ought to not bet ♪ 200 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,353 She was sagging... 201 00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,105 a little. 202 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,190 ["These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" still playing] 203 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,484 [sighs] 204 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,822 ♪ What's right is right But you ain't been right yet ♪ 205 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,659 ♪ These boots are made for walking ♪ 206 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,370 ♪ And that's just what they'll do ♪ 207 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:26,459 ♪ One of these days these boots Are gonna walk all over you ♪ 208 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:31,797 I think the bourbon just wore off. Have we really thought this through? 209 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,633 What if the boys don't want to see us? 210 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:38,220 Mother isn't just a noun, it's a verb. It requires action. 211 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,097 I read that some place. 212 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,475 - Well, I teach on Tuesdays. - Just call in sick. 213 00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,186 That's what I did for the first time in... ever. 214 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,146 I brought five clean pairs of underwear. 215 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,649 - Hey, I might be sick all week. - [gasps] 216 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:53,110 All week? Well, how long are we staying? 217 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,779 Until we feel like mothers again. 218 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:57,490 [scoffs] Why can't we feel like mothers from a hotel room? 219 00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,283 Now, that is a valid question. 220 00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:02,620 Because we're not on vacation, we are on a mission. 221 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,183 And they can deal with having us in their homes for a few days. 222 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,708 - They were in ours for 18 years. - [Gillian] Hmm. 223 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:08,959 [ice clinks in cup] 224 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,214 [Gillian] You got this, champ! Go in and call us when you're in! 225 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:14,858 - [screams] - [Carol] Gillian, I can't do this! 226 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,093 [Helen] Oh, you can! You're gonna do really great. 227 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,456 [Carol] No, no. Let's stop this. 228 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,221 - Yeah, you are! - [Gillian screaming] 229 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,890 [raised voice] Don't take no for an answer. Make him love you! 230 00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,810 [shouting] Helen, Gillian! Wait! 231 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,062 [car honks] 232 00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:33,025 [buzzes intercom] 233 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,031 - [Matt over intercom] Yeah. - Hi, I just happen to be in the neighbor... 234 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,492 - I'm downstairs, it's your mo... - [door buzzes open] 235 00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:47,581 [elevator bell] 236 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,629 [knock at door] 237 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,261 Mom? 238 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,141 - Uh, what are you... - I was just missing you today. 239 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,142 [Carol breathes heavily] 240 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,811 - Shit, it's Mother's Day. - [Carol gasps] Is it? 241 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,272 - I was gonna call. - Can I come in? 242 00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:13,774 Yeah. Of course. Please. 243 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:17,111 Please. [chuckles] Um... 244 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:19,697 - [breathes heavily] - I sent the elevator. 245 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,741 Oh, It's just five floors. 246 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:22,867 [chuckles] 247 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,369 Well, can I get you something? 248 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,621 Well, you didn't even hug me. 249 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,291 - I... - [Carol chuckles] 250 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,877 You caught me off guard. [chuckles] 251 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:37,715 Happy Mother's Day, Mom. 252 00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,177 - Ah, let's just sit. - Yeah. 253 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,262 Uh, let's just put this away. 254 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,391 That's gone. And stack that up. 255 00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:52,146 [exhales] 256 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,607 [laughs] That's not even... 257 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,693 [clears throat] 258 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,449 - [sighs] - [Carol laughs] 259 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:10,039 I've been thinking about our relationship and, um, I... 260 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,002 I don't think we have one. 261 00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,921 What? Mom. 262 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:20,758 Mom, you are my mom. How could we not have one? 263 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,092 What's my favorite flower? 264 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,764 - We have a relationship. - Then tell me something about me. 265 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,558 Okay, there are a thousand things that I know about you. 266 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,352 [Carol sighs] Irises. 267 00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:33,854 I... I knew that. 268 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:38,943 Um, I want to stay for a few days. 269 00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,487 What? No. Mom. I mean, why? 270 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:44,573 Because you still live like a 15-year old, sweetheart, 271 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,741 I mean, look! 272 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,451 Look at this mess. 273 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:52,081 I'll clean while you think of ten things that you honestly know about me. 274 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,332 Okay, Mom. Ten? 275 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,248 - It's going to take me days to clean... - Mom! Mom! 276 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,295 I have a woman for that. 277 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,340 Well, how often does she come? Biannually? 278 00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:03,425 [door opens] 279 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,058 [soft instrumental jazzy music] 280 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,589 [sighs] Mm-mmm. 281 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,927 [phone ringing] 282 00:14:50,472 --> 00:14:53,767 [on phone] Hey, it's Daniel Lieberman. I'm guessing you know what to do. 283 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:56,604 [exhales heavily] 284 00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,773 - [phone ringing] - [exhales] 285 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,572 - Oh, God. - [pills rattle] 286 00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,491 Did you get in? 287 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,660 Yeah. [chuckles] I got in. 288 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,494 Tell me something. 289 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:15,414 Does Paul have drapes? 290 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:17,958 Matt has 75 pairs of 291 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,127 brand new sneakers, but no drapes. 292 00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,755 Yes, Paul has drapes. 293 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,505 Listen... 294 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,093 would you mind if I called you back tomorrow? 295 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,762 Oh, yeah, sure, sorry. 296 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,221 Enjoy! 297 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,599 Okay. Yeah, I will. Goodnight, honey. 298 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,351 [sighs deeply] 299 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,273 [phone ringing] 300 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:42,899 Just stop. 301 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,945 [groans] 302 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,448 I'm a coward, okay? Hey. 303 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,408 Hey. Thank you. 304 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,202 How's it going with Paul? 305 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:57,581 [Helen] Good. Paul has been very gracious. 306 00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,792 He just poured me a drink. 307 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,086 How's it going with Daniel? 308 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:05,714 I'm going to go by in the morning. Daniel's not answering the phone. 309 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,758 I think he's got that caller ID thing. 310 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,052 But I'll tell you this, Long Island City 311 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,346 is the place to go if you want to be stabbed. 312 00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:13,263 [Helen chuckles] 313 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,683 [Gillian] 'Cause I was terrified to get out of my car. 314 00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:20,020 Hey, have you heard of this place, the Hudson Hotel? 315 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,897 It's where Joel got the best rate. 316 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,816 [Helen] Oh, yeah. It's supposed to be cool. 317 00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:27,820 [Gillian] It's really cool. I mean, it's more like a club than a hotel. 318 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:32,491 [whispering] And the bellboys are gorgeous. 319 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,077 [Helen] Gillian, you scamp. 320 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,746 [laughs] Uh, I'm gonna ambush 321 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,415 Daniel when it's light. 322 00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:40,958 Oh, listen. 323 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,003 It is okay that you decided to wait. 324 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,505 It's a difficult thing to do. 325 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,757 I don't blame you. 326 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:52,803 [stammers] Actually... I've... [breathes heavily] 327 00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:55,472 I've... 328 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,808 [Gillian] Oh, hey, can you tell Paul that I said hi? 329 00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,018 Hmm. 330 00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,562 Gillian says hello. 331 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,023 Paul says hello back. 332 00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,275 - [Gillian] All right, sweet dreams. - Okay. 333 00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,527 - [Gillian] Night, hun. - Good night. 334 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:12,448 [scoffs] 335 00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:19,121 - [cars honking] - [siren wailing] 336 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,641 [Carol] I found some sausages in your freezer. 337 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:43,187 Took the skillet I gave you for college graduation out of the box. 338 00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:46,023 Well, I don't eat breakfast. 339 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,110 You used to eat breakfast. "Most important meal of the day." 340 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:54,198 [chuckles] Yeah, according to Dad, and whoever said it originally. 341 00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:56,533 Probably someone involved in the cereal business. 342 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,617 [laughs] 343 00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:02,873 I need to get dressed and get to work. 344 00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:04,374 Oh, well, don't let me stop you. 345 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,462 - Are those banana pancakes? - Mmm. 346 00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,342 Well, I guess one... 347 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:14,927 wouldn't kill me. 348 00:18:17,387 --> 00:18:18,597 [doorbell rings] 349 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,415 - It's after 8:00, you're late. - [Helen] Hi. I... 350 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,983 And if you touch anything on my desk, you're fired. Understand? 351 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,903 - I'm here to see Paul. - He'll pay you. [shouts] Andre! 352 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,363 - Don't mess up. - Okay. 353 00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,204 - [door slams shut] - Oh! 354 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,624 - Hi. - Hi. 355 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,918 - You're the new housekeeper. - [Helen laughs] 356 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,504 I'm Paul's mother. 357 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:54,924 I'm Helen. 358 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,344 - Right, yes, sorry. Hi, I'm Andre. - Hi. 359 00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,346 - Nice to meet you. - Are you... 360 00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,306 are you Paul's boyfriend? 361 00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,768 [stutters] I'll see if he's dressed. 362 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:07,146 Um... I just made some coffee. 363 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,356 - I'd love some coffee. - Please, join me. 364 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:13,609 [Helen] Uh... 365 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:17,239 Paul never officially came out to me, you know. 366 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,616 - So... - [Andre] Did you ever ask? 367 00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,495 It wasn't my place to ask. It was his place to tell. 368 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:27,457 I'm sure at some point he knew I knew, but we never, you know... 369 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:28,792 talked about it. 370 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:31,545 Ah, well, my parents are visually deaf, I mean... 371 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,547 - Hello? - [both laugh] 372 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:35,799 What do you do, Andre? 373 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,218 Uh, as little as I can get away with. 374 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:39,719 Oh! 375 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,597 He never alters his pattern. 376 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,492 I can tell by the creaks in the floor when he's about to come downstairs. 377 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:45,350 Oh! 378 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,645 Oh, my God. I owe you a blow job. 379 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,189 - Your mother. - Your mother. 380 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,024 [elevated voice] Surprise! 381 00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,275 [laughs] 382 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,610 Hey, Mom! 383 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,029 - [laughing] Boo! - [laughs] 384 00:19:57,112 --> 00:20:00,490 I know it doesn't make any sense for me to try to maintain that house. 385 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,451 It's in constant need of repairs. 386 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,287 And no one's even been in the pool since your father died. 387 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:08,123 - So, just sell it. - But we've been there for 20 years. 388 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,893 - I haven't. - He didn't want me to be alone, 389 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,251 and I don't want to be, but... 390 00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,045 the mattress... 391 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,465 it sags where your father slept. 392 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,260 And I keep thinking, "Maybe I should just buy a new one." 393 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,887 But if I did that, then... 394 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,933 the mattress wouldn't sag where your father slept. 395 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,780 Well, that's a nice greeting for your mother. 396 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,116 What's a nice greeting? I didn't say anything. 397 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,580 - That's what I'm talking about. - [door closes] 398 00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:48,247 Are you and Dad fighting or something? 399 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,998 I came to see if you were okay. 400 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,084 I'm fantastic. 401 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,544 You... want a screwdriver or something? 402 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,171 Are you trying to make me cry? 403 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,258 Can you not threaten me with feelings, Ma? Just don't worry about me. 404 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,969 Your life is your life. Mine is mine. 405 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,763 Oh, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 406 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:07,599 If everyone was just here for themselves, life would be pointless. 407 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,184 Life is pointless. 408 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,436 Children give your life meaning. 409 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,814 You are the point of my life, Daniel. 410 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:16,066 Please, don't make me question my existence. 411 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,694 - Oh, my God, Ma. What are you doing here? - Really? 412 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:22,823 That's where we are? I drive for hours and hours and the first thing 413 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,906 - you say is, "What are you doing here?" - It wasn't the first thing I said, 414 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,791 - it was the last thing I said. - [sighs] Okay. 415 00:21:28,912 --> 00:21:31,391 I'll go. If you don't want me, I'll go. I'll just get my bag... 416 00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,916 Ma, I'm not saying I don't want you. 417 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,603 I'm just wondering why you didn't call me first to tell me you were coming. 418 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:37,504 You didn't call me on Mother's Day. 419 00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:39,715 I'm not holding that against you. 420 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:40,924 I texted you. 421 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,175 I birthed you. 422 00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,594 Anyway, that's not why I'm here. 423 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,972 I found you a nice Jewish girl. 424 00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:48,515 You weren't even Jewish. 425 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:50,475 I converted, for you. 426 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,019 Okay, you converted for Dad. 427 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,896 Yes, so we could raise our kids as Jews. 428 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,815 So, stop dating the shiksas. 429 00:21:56,898 --> 00:21:58,150 [bottles clinking] 430 00:21:58,608 --> 00:21:59,943 Are you talking about Erin? 431 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,237 Erin. What kind of name is that? 432 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,281 It's like the leftovers of a Scrabble hand. 433 00:22:04,364 --> 00:22:06,783 Mm-hmm. That's a character flaw now? Her name? 434 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,994 You met her once, you barely even spoke to her. 435 00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:12,039 - You never even gave her a chance. - I saw her social media. 436 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,541 A lot of Margarita nights. She's a drinker. 437 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:17,002 - I'm a drinker. - You're a thinker. 438 00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,046 You use alcohol as a coping mechanism. 439 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,673 That's the definition of alcoholism. 440 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,759 You're an intellectual, she's a hairdresser. 441 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,719 Hairstylist. And so what? 442 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:29,181 So, let her style your hair, but don't procreate with her. 443 00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,767 That is so classist and offensive. 444 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,269 And it's over. So, why don't you just move on, okay? 445 00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:35,687 I have. 446 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,607 Remember the Brimers? 447 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,401 - Ivan and Joan. - No. 448 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:44,863 On the corner, with that horrible shih tzu that bit you when you were six. 449 00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:46,198 Yeah, I remember the dog. 450 00:22:46,281 --> 00:22:49,951 Well, Joan's sister has a nephew by marriage in Yonkers, 451 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:53,580 and he gave me this number of this brilliant woman from his temple. 452 00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:58,085 She's just been through a painful divorce, which apparently was not her fault at all. 453 00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,419 Okay, good to know. 454 00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:02,964 And she is a beautiful person. She's friends with his wife. 455 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,550 Oh, my God. Ma, you've never even met her, have you? 456 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:07,594 I saw her social media. 457 00:23:07,677 --> 00:23:09,554 She is smart. 458 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:10,972 She did a beach clean-up. 459 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,558 Daniel, she's starting to think about dating again. 460 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:15,560 We got to get in there fast. 461 00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:17,925 When I reached out to her, I told her that you were nearby 462 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:20,732 and in a similar boat. She said she would love to hear from you. 463 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:21,858 Why have you done this? 464 00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,111 Her name is Alison. 465 00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:27,531 She graduated from Brown. She has a political science degree. 466 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:29,074 She does something in television. 467 00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:30,397 Okay, let me get this straight. 468 00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:32,327 You want me to go on a date with this woman 469 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:36,331 based on the fact that she attends temple with some guy in Yonkers, 470 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:39,751 who's somehow related to the woman whose dog bit me when I was a kid. 471 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,129 You can't hold that horrible dog against her. 472 00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:44,089 I'm not talking about the dog, Ma. 473 00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:46,508 I'm talking about your insanity. 474 00:23:47,008 --> 00:23:48,844 Ooh! Good shot. 475 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:51,263 [scoffs] Have you had a date since you've lived here? 476 00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:53,348 I don't think this apartment is helping at all. 477 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,434 It's like you're living in Gollum's cave. 478 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:59,438 Okay, Ma, thanks for the dating advice. Please, just leave it. Please. 479 00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:02,190 I'm not leaving New York until you call her. 480 00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:05,360 You can't force me to go on a date with someone. 481 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:08,113 I call it prodding, a gentle little nudge. 482 00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:10,866 Okay, I'll be back at supper time. 483 00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,993 I need my Mace and my keys. 484 00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:16,663 I'll be back. Alive. [chuckles] Hopefully. 485 00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:17,956 [door closes] 486 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,173 Hi, is this Alison? 487 00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:29,801 It's... It's... Daniel Lieberman. 488 00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:32,679 My mom said I should call you. 489 00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:37,267 So, Paul lives with his... Andre? 490 00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:38,768 Yes, and some other people. 491 00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:41,146 It's kinda great. It's sort of a group home for gays. 492 00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:43,482 There's an older Wall Street guy that owns the place 493 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:46,026 and a tiny man who is very abrupt. [chuckles] 494 00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:48,862 And I told Andre I was gonna cook for the whole gang tonight. 495 00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:52,699 You? Cooking? That's more shocking than your son coming out. 496 00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:56,119 Well, apparently he's been completely out to everybody but me. 497 00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:58,997 - Honey, he just assumed you knew. - I did know. 498 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,749 - Well, we all knew. - No, I didn't 499 00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,709 Why am I the last to get the memo? 500 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:04,461 [Helen] You're not. Larry is. 501 00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:07,104 He had one foot out the door by the time Paul was in high school. 502 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,925 So, I thought, "I'm gonna let him find out by himself." 503 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:14,387 You know, his only son, it's gonna drive that closed-minded, lying dickhead crazy. 504 00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:17,307 [irritable] Oh, Larry! Can we talk about something else? 505 00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:19,935 [Helen] Absolutely. How is Daniel? 506 00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:21,144 [Gillian] Ugh. 507 00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:23,939 It's worse than I imagined, and that's never happened to me before. 508 00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:25,607 - I under worry. - Hmm! 509 00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:28,735 Well, all the more reason for you to leave your hotel 510 00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:31,363 and move in like Helen and I did. 511 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,698 Yeah, I'm in a hotel, too. 512 00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:34,990 What? 513 00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:38,995 Yes, I know what I said. But, you know, Paul's got his plate full 514 00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,319 and he doesn't need a house guest on top of it, you know? 515 00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:43,875 So, he forgot Mother's Day. Big deal. 516 00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:44,876 - Big deal? - Yeah. 517 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,170 What? You got me drunk and made me come here. 518 00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:48,588 But, seriously? 519 00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:51,508 How do you live in this town and forget Mother's Day? 520 00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:54,344 Look! Mother, mom, mama, mütter, madre, maman. 521 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:55,554 [all laugh] 522 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:57,222 [Helen] This is Joseph. 523 00:25:58,056 --> 00:25:59,724 Look at these cute bags. Let's go in. 524 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,936 No. Paul does Joseph. He did these windows. 525 00:26:05,605 --> 00:26:08,400 I am so moving in with that fucker. 526 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:17,158 Hi. Are you the famous writer? 527 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,953 Either my mom exaggerated, or you're meeting someone else. 528 00:26:20,036 --> 00:26:21,121 I'm Alison. 529 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,415 - Daniel. Hi. - Hello. 530 00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:26,167 You write for The New Yorker. That's, um, pretty famous. 531 00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:27,711 I don't write for The New Yorker. 532 00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:30,422 Oh, I thought your mom said that you did write for The New Yorker. 533 00:26:30,505 --> 00:26:33,466 The New Yorker published one short story of mine four years ago... 534 00:26:33,550 --> 00:26:34,550 - Yay! - ...which... 535 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:38,221 resulted in a very small book deal, but as of yet, no book. 536 00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:40,348 - Oh. - The rest of my work 537 00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:42,785 if you can call it that is in literary journals no one's ever heard of. 538 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,853 - No, I might have heard of them. - No, you haven't. 539 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:46,062 Come on, tell me. 540 00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:49,316 - The Willacoochee River Journal. - No. [laughs] 541 00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:51,192 - It's funny, right? - You're making that up. 542 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:54,821 I wish I could make that up. Sadly, that is nonfiction. 543 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:55,946 That is my life. 544 00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:57,907 My mom should talk less. 545 00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:00,676 Yeah, but if your mom talked less, we wouldn't be here right now. 546 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:03,622 So, you know, thank God for your mother, right? [chuckles] 547 00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:04,748 [exhales deeply] 548 00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:06,458 [Alison chuckles] 549 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:07,459 [Gillian] Daniel! 550 00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:10,503 [knocking at door] If you're there and you're pretending you're not, 551 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,213 I'm never talking to you again. 552 00:27:12,505 --> 00:27:14,132 Or maybe that's what you want. 553 00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:15,675 - Daniel! - [banging at door] 554 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:18,886 - [opens gate] - What? 555 00:27:19,387 --> 00:27:22,098 My God! This is totally unsafe. 556 00:27:24,392 --> 00:27:26,811 Oh, come on. It's open? 557 00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:37,989 Come on, old girl. You still got it. 558 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:39,866 Okay. 559 00:27:41,242 --> 00:27:42,802 - [slams gate shut] - [breathes heavily] 560 00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:46,331 - [mice squeaking] - [squeals] Ah! Mice! 561 00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,192 [Andre] So, you lived in New York? 562 00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:52,420 Did I ever. I worked in fashion at the time. 563 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:54,381 I met Paul's father at Studio 54. 564 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:55,839 - No. - Yeah. 565 00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:57,008 Fabulous. 566 00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:58,718 Oh, yes, and ridiculous. 567 00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,946 You're supposed to have sex with people you meet there. 568 00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:03,473 - Do drugs with them, not marry them. - [laughs] 569 00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:05,934 I think Larry fell in love with me for my looks 570 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:08,520 and just tolerated me for everything else. 571 00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:11,648 Does that sound terribly vain? 572 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:15,193 Uh, look who you're talking to. I'm window dressing for a window dresser. 573 00:28:15,276 --> 00:28:16,276 [chuckles] 574 00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:18,279 But you two are happy? 575 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:20,823 Yeah. 576 00:28:21,616 --> 00:28:23,952 [laughs] He says he'd like me 577 00:28:24,035 --> 00:28:26,496 to be older or flabbier so that when he leaves for work, 578 00:28:26,579 --> 00:28:28,860 he won't have to wonder if I'll be here when he gets home. 579 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,422 Since when is Paul so insecure? 580 00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:36,548 [Andre] Mmm. 581 00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:39,759 - He gets that from you. - [Helen chuckles] 582 00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:44,681 You were... 583 00:28:45,348 --> 00:28:47,183 [stutters] You were preoccupied 584 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,729 between husbands, dating, hosting charity events. 585 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:52,647 I mean, look... 586 00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:55,066 you were hurt after the divorce. 587 00:28:55,942 --> 00:28:58,403 Right? Lost? I get that. 588 00:28:59,612 --> 00:29:01,364 But he felt a little abandoned. 589 00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:07,615 - Well, he never told me that. - [door opens, closes] 590 00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:09,204 [Paul] Hey. 591 00:29:11,124 --> 00:29:12,542 - Hey! - [Andre] There he is. 592 00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:13,752 - Hi. - Hey. 593 00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:16,838 Are you cooking? 594 00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:18,298 Well, yeah. Mm-hmm. 595 00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:22,635 [Alison] I was falling out of love with him, 596 00:29:22,719 --> 00:29:25,555 but really I thought I was falling out of love with myself, you know? 597 00:29:25,638 --> 00:29:28,057 - No, not really. - Oh, okay. 598 00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:29,976 Think of yourself as an egg. 599 00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:31,102 Okay, why? 600 00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:34,314 Because the egg is you, okay? It's your self-love, your self-worth. 601 00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:38,818 You're the egg, right? So, good love presses on the ends of you, 602 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:41,022 but what happens when you press on the ends of an egg? 603 00:29:41,946 --> 00:29:42,946 I don't know. 604 00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:44,908 Nothing. Good love challenges the egg, 605 00:29:44,991 --> 00:29:47,744 it puts pressure on the egg, but it allows the egg to stay whole. 606 00:29:48,203 --> 00:29:51,372 But what does it take to turn a good love into bad love? 607 00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:53,708 An expiration date. 608 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,503 No. No, no, no. The egg twists, okay? 609 00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:59,714 That's it. Now, suddenly, the pressure is on the sides of the egg. 610 00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:03,468 - Okay? And then, what happens? - We break the egg analogy? 611 00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:06,805 Oh, yeah, yeah. [chuckles] Yes, Daniel. It breaks all right. 612 00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:09,516 So, who broke your egg, Daniel? 613 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,312 [Erin] I waited five weeks. 614 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:17,106 - To bang your trainer? - Five weeks... 615 00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:19,066 without a word. 616 00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:22,278 I felt like you were happy for the chance to walk away. 617 00:30:23,613 --> 00:30:24,613 I came... 618 00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:26,574 to tell you that I decided. 619 00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:31,788 I always thought I had to finish my novel first, or make something of my life. 620 00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,331 Then I finally realized... 621 00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:35,834 all I ever wanted was you, 622 00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:38,169 and for us to be together, and... 623 00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:40,546 maybe we'll... 624 00:30:41,589 --> 00:30:42,924 one day have children. 625 00:30:44,425 --> 00:30:46,511 And that would be the purpose of our lives. 626 00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:48,221 The best thing we'd ever do. 627 00:30:52,725 --> 00:30:54,018 But I was wrong. 628 00:30:55,228 --> 00:30:56,396 - No. - [Alison] Daniel. 629 00:30:57,939 --> 00:30:59,065 Who broke your egg? 630 00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:04,112 - Okay, look... Alison. - Yep. 631 00:31:04,195 --> 00:31:05,697 I’m here to get rid of my mother, 632 00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:08,032 and you’re here to talk about your ex-husband. 633 00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:12,078 So, why don't we just call it over easy and be done with it? 634 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:14,306 Okay, I'm going to give you an answer to that question, 635 00:31:14,330 --> 00:31:16,040 even though I don’t think 636 00:31:16,124 --> 00:31:18,644 you’ll understand it, and I definitely don't think you deserve it. 637 00:31:18,668 --> 00:31:20,348 - You're right, I don’t deserve it. - Okay. 638 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:23,214 - You don't have to tell me. - Uh, you don't fix the egg. 639 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:26,885 It doesn’t matter who twisted it. It’s broken. And you gotta let it go. 640 00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:30,430 And once you’ve truly bid that egg farewell, you’ll... 641 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:31,848 you'll find a new egg. 642 00:31:33,933 --> 00:31:38,646 Thank you. That was, uh... I really just need the check right now. 643 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,149 I don't think I can hear about the egg anymore, I'm sorry. 644 00:31:41,357 --> 00:31:43,568 All right, I was going to split the bill with you, 645 00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:46,487 but now I’m not so... thank you. 646 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:49,490 - Fair. Good luck with your egg hunt. - Thank you. 647 00:31:54,203 --> 00:31:55,079 Well, [chuckles] 648 00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:58,583 I’m so glad we just finally get to sit down and have a meal together. 649 00:31:58,666 --> 00:32:01,252 - [Paul] Mm. - And... [laughs] 650 00:32:01,336 --> 00:32:04,380 did I mention that Paul has never officially come out to me? 651 00:32:05,465 --> 00:32:06,966 - [chuckles] - [Helen chuckles] 652 00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:08,509 Shame on you, Paul. 653 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,846 You know, what is this bullshit about having to come out? 654 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,783 It's not like straight people have to gather their families around the table 655 00:32:14,807 --> 00:32:17,936 when they’re 18 and find a way to break it to them they’re heterosexual, 656 00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:20,939 thank you, so... why is it any different for us? 657 00:32:21,439 --> 00:32:26,486 Why can’t parents just see what they see and figure it out for themselves? 658 00:32:26,569 --> 00:32:28,655 - [inhales deeply] No. - [Paul] It is not a sin. 659 00:32:28,738 --> 00:32:31,491 And it is not something I need to confess. 660 00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:35,161 Shut up and tell her. She deserves the truth. 661 00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:37,497 Do it now! This is really good, Helen. 662 00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:38,957 - [Helen] Aww. - [Paul scoffs] 663 00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,251 - Mom. - Yeah? 664 00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,044 I'm gay. 665 00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:47,882 [gasps] You’re what? I support you and I love you! 666 00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:50,510 [all cheering and clapping] 667 00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:52,804 All right, kiss her already. 668 00:32:52,887 --> 00:32:53,930 [gasps] 669 00:32:54,013 --> 00:32:55,741 - I'm not gonna go kiss her. - [Calvin] Get up. 670 00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:59,352 Walk over to your mother and kiss her the way you're supposed to. 671 00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:01,270 - Kiss. - [Paul] Here I come. 672 00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:02,355 Oh! 673 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,107 [Calvin] Beautiful. 674 00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:07,193 [sighs deeply] You just made my night. 675 00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:10,321 Now, all you have to do is tell your father. 676 00:33:10,905 --> 00:33:12,907 Oh, I told him a long time ago. 677 00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:14,783 What? 678 00:33:16,035 --> 00:33:18,287 - Uh, I mean a while ago. - How long ago? 679 00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:21,416 [laughs] I don’t know. A few years. 680 00:33:25,253 --> 00:33:27,338 Why did you tell him and not me? 681 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,174 [laughs nervously] I figured you knew. 682 00:33:31,926 --> 00:33:36,514 So... So, I’m punished for being perceptive? 683 00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:40,018 I would like to know why he got to have the conversation and I didn't? 684 00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:43,229 Mom, you just forced me to come out to three men who know I'm gay. 685 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,815 There's no way that this moment wasn't going to be about you. 686 00:33:45,898 --> 00:33:49,527 So, maybe this is the exact reason why. 687 00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:53,072 [Helen] This has nothing to do with you coming out to me. 688 00:33:53,156 --> 00:33:56,034 It's just... [chuckles] It has nothing to do with that. 689 00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:59,328 This is about how you treat me and your father. 690 00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:02,081 I mean, is he always the one that's... 691 00:34:02,165 --> 00:34:05,668 Mom, there is no you and my father. You're divorced! 692 00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:10,506 There’s me and him. And there is me and you. 693 00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:12,675 But there’s no you and him. 694 00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:15,053 And I'm not willing to be the you and the him, 695 00:34:15,136 --> 00:34:18,723 which is what you have always wanted, which is why you’re blowing up now. 696 00:34:18,806 --> 00:34:21,517 There is a me and him because there’s a you. 697 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:24,228 And you... [angrily] You are just... 698 00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:26,481 - You are just like him! - [Miles] Helen... 699 00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:29,442 You know what? Please don’t compare me to someone you despise, Mom. 700 00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:31,694 - How about that? - I gotta go make a phone call. 701 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:33,488 Oh. 702 00:34:37,575 --> 00:34:40,578 [whispering] I'm gonna go ahead and take this with me. 703 00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:42,705 Am I interrupting? 704 00:34:42,997 --> 00:34:44,999 [Gillian] No, Daniel isn't home yet. 705 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:46,959 Oh, neither is Matt. 706 00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:51,839 I feel like I’m being stood up, and all of Tribeca knows it. 707 00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:54,425 Ooh! These windows! 708 00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:57,261 Oh, stop complaining. I’m in a basement apartment. 709 00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:59,597 All I see are cockroaches and feet. 710 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,682 [laughs] 711 00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:04,977 I'll call you later if there are any new developments. 712 00:35:05,061 --> 00:35:06,938 [Carol] All right. Good night. 713 00:35:07,021 --> 00:35:08,021 Bye. 714 00:35:08,564 --> 00:35:10,000 - [crying] I'm sorry. - Don't be sorry, 715 00:35:10,024 --> 00:35:11,710 - There's nothing to be sorry about. - I get emotional. 716 00:35:11,734 --> 00:35:14,195 I know, I know. Just give it a sec, okay? 717 00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:19,575 Andre said that I ruined your life [crying] 718 00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,494 - and you hate me for it! - That's... 719 00:35:21,577 --> 00:35:23,913 Helen! No, no, no! That's... No! 720 00:35:23,996 --> 00:35:26,874 - [Helen sobbing] Yeah. - No. I said... 721 00:35:26,999 --> 00:35:28,793 - When I was chopping cucumbers. - That's... 722 00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:32,338 I kind of said you have some abandonment issues because of her. That's all. 723 00:35:32,463 --> 00:35:34,507 That's... You told me... [sighs] 724 00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:37,218 - Okay. - [Helen exhales deeply] 725 00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:39,512 [Helen continues crying] 726 00:35:48,521 --> 00:35:49,521 Mom. 727 00:35:49,730 --> 00:35:50,940 [Helen tearfully] Yeah? 728 00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:53,150 Hey. 729 00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:56,153 Yeah? 730 00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:57,362 I love you. 731 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:03,077 Mom... I would do anything for you. 732 00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:05,163 - Ah... - And you know that. 733 00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:09,333 I would like to stay here for a few nights if that's all right. 734 00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,670 - Oh, it's, um... - Oh! 735 00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:15,756 - Well, there's not really a guest room. - [crying] It's okay. 736 00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:32,440 [sighs] 737 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,028 Plague? 738 00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:40,573 Ugh. 739 00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:42,617 ["Further" by Correatown playing] 740 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:44,493 ♪ If I can't let this go ♪ 741 00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:49,874 ♪ I'm telling you ♪ 742 00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:54,170 ♪ I won't make it another year ♪ 743 00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:58,090 ♪ If I go all the way ♪ 744 00:37:01,844 --> 00:37:04,013 ♪ I'm telling you ♪ 745 00:37:04,138 --> 00:37:08,601 ♪ I can see all these things Coming clear ♪ 746 00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:12,313 ♪ If we go on like this ♪ 747 00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:18,110 ♪ I'm telling you ♪ 748 00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:22,406 ♪ We won't make it another year ♪ 749 00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:26,118 ♪ But if we go all the way... ♪ 750 00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:32,541 Matthew Walker... Dartmouth graduate. 751 00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:37,004 ♪ We'll finally see all these roads Coming clear ♪ 752 00:37:37,296 --> 00:37:39,006 ♪ 'Cause we have ♪ 753 00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:42,426 ♪ So much love ♪ 754 00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:46,097 ♪ But we need so much more 'Cause we have ♪ 755 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,475 ♪ So much love ♪ 756 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,520 ♪ But we need so much more ♪ 757 00:38:11,163 --> 00:38:13,332 [music fades out] 758 00:38:13,916 --> 00:38:15,918 - [elevator bell] - [door opens] 759 00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:20,631 [kissing and moaning] 760 00:38:25,761 --> 00:38:27,263 [girl] Something smells good. 761 00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:29,140 It smelled better at 6:00. 762 00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:32,268 Mom! You were supposed to be gone! 763 00:38:32,768 --> 00:38:33,894 [Carol] Who said that? 764 00:38:34,603 --> 00:38:36,397 I said, "Lock up when you leave." 765 00:38:36,939 --> 00:38:38,232 I didn't leave yet. 766 00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:41,777 Is this your, uh, girlfriend? 767 00:38:41,944 --> 00:38:43,821 This is Angel. 768 00:38:43,904 --> 00:38:46,157 Angel, this is Mom. 769 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:48,909 - Hi. - How long have you two been together? 770 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:49,869 A while. 771 00:38:49,952 --> 00:38:52,121 - Been together about four months now. - [gasps] 772 00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:56,667 [Carol] Oh, wow! Well, um, I'll make another plate. 773 00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:58,919 - No. You don't need to! - Thank you, Mrs. Walker. 774 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:00,713 You don’t have to call her Mrs. Walker. 775 00:39:01,589 --> 00:39:03,841 Thank you... Mom? 776 00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:05,551 [chuckles] 777 00:39:05,843 --> 00:39:06,886 [Angel] Wow! 778 00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:16,437 [Daniel] How the hell... 779 00:39:17,438 --> 00:39:18,438 Did she... 780 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:29,325 Unbelievable. She just... comes in and makes her... 781 00:39:35,331 --> 00:39:36,707 No boundaries. 782 00:39:39,418 --> 00:39:41,379 So, what do you do, Angel? 783 00:39:41,754 --> 00:39:43,631 Hmm. I’m still in school. 784 00:39:43,714 --> 00:39:46,842 Oh! Did Matt tell you that he went to Dartmouth? 785 00:39:46,926 --> 00:39:49,678 [Angel] No. [chuckles] That's amazing. 786 00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:50,804 Um... 787 00:39:51,263 --> 00:39:53,474 I might take a year off to travel before college. 788 00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:55,017 - Maybe go to Europe. - [Matt coughs] 789 00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,563 So, you're, um... 790 00:39:59,939 --> 00:40:01,190 still in high school. 791 00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:02,483 You were in a bar. 792 00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:04,235 - I’m 18. - You don't look it. 793 00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:06,904 - Next month. [giggles] - [Carol] Seventeen. 794 00:40:06,987 --> 00:40:08,447 You never said that you were 17. 795 00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:11,131 You've been dating for four months. You don't know how old she is? 796 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:12,284 You forced me to lie. 797 00:40:12,368 --> 00:40:14,471 You make it sound like I can’t be in a long-term relation... 798 00:40:14,495 --> 00:40:16,348 - I didn't force you... - I just met her tonight, okay, Mom? 799 00:40:16,372 --> 00:40:18,308 She was with friends drinking, and I paid the bill. 800 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:20,172 I didn’t go with you because you paid the bill. 801 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,670 He asked me to model for his magazine. 802 00:40:22,753 --> 00:40:24,672 Yeah, because you said you were a model. 803 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:27,258 I am. I used to model children’s clothing. 804 00:40:27,341 --> 00:40:30,136 Oh! When was that? Last year? 805 00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:32,471 I think that you should go. 806 00:40:33,514 --> 00:40:35,808 Would you make sure she gets into a cab, at least? 807 00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:38,060 You know what? I’d love to put you both in a cab. 808 00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:39,644 It was nice to meet you. 809 00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:41,021 Good night, Angel. 810 00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:45,192 Happy Birthday! Next month! 811 00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:47,986 No! 812 00:40:48,529 --> 00:40:50,531 [music] 813 00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:07,089 - Hey. - [Andre] Hi. 814 00:41:08,674 --> 00:41:09,674 Thank you. 815 00:41:11,677 --> 00:41:13,597 I wouldn't have yelled at her if she were my mom. 816 00:41:14,513 --> 00:41:16,724 - You hate your mom. - Because she yells at me. 817 00:41:17,224 --> 00:41:18,392 Okay. 818 00:41:20,644 --> 00:41:22,062 [exhales heavily] 819 00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:25,357 - I will write her a note of apology. - [Andre] Thank you. 820 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:27,902 And I'll invite her to lunch where I’ll apologize again. 821 00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:31,530 She doesn’t really hear apologies the first time through, so... 822 00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:33,406 Thank you. 823 00:41:34,950 --> 00:41:37,453 Oh! Do we have a cross I can nail the note to? 824 00:41:37,536 --> 00:41:39,747 Please, just write the note. Please, just write it. 825 00:41:41,457 --> 00:41:43,459 [dishes clinking] 826 00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:46,587 Mom. Mom? 827 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,800 - Mom, I said I have somebody for that. - No, you said you’d do it. 828 00:41:54,094 --> 00:41:57,306 - I’m sorry about last night. - Why are you sorry? 829 00:41:58,140 --> 00:42:00,809 - Because it was embarrassing. - No, it wasn’t embarrassing. 830 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:03,604 Statutory rape, but let’s not argue semantics. 831 00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:06,357 It's never happened to me before. I mean, 17. 832 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,317 - I’m not interested, Matt. - What? 833 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,236 If you’re going to lie, I’m not interested. 834 00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:12,446 - I’m not lying. - I saw your magazine. 835 00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:15,699 - It is not about sports. - I never said that it was. 836 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:19,245 You said it was a men’s magazine called All Balls. 837 00:42:19,328 --> 00:42:21,121 I was supposed to think scrotum? 838 00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:23,685 (A) That is not a word I need to hear out of my mother's mouth. 839 00:42:23,749 --> 00:42:26,085 (And B) You are not the demographic. 840 00:42:26,168 --> 00:42:29,255 Well, that much is clear. So, now I know the truth about you. 841 00:42:29,338 --> 00:42:32,383 My job has nothing to do with that girl being underage. Young... 842 00:42:32,466 --> 00:42:34,760 Younger than she has a right to be. 843 00:42:34,843 --> 00:42:37,638 - So, how old is she, do you think? - I don’t know, Mom. 844 00:42:37,721 --> 00:42:39,682 - Well, you're the editor. - I'm the art director. 845 00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:42,226 I design the look and the feel of All Balls. 846 00:42:43,435 --> 00:42:44,562 The magazine. 847 00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:46,480 So, it reflects your taste? 848 00:42:46,605 --> 00:42:48,274 It’s my job, Mom. 849 00:42:48,649 --> 00:42:50,192 A job that I’m very good at. 850 00:42:50,609 --> 00:42:52,611 To tailor the content to our audience. 851 00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,990 And our audience happens to be young men, and young men like young women. 852 00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:58,617 This is not a magazine for under the mattress. 853 00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:01,620 We are Vanity Fair with half the brain and twice the body. 854 00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,163 We are totally mainstream. 855 00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:06,000 Well, your father and I didn’t raise you to be mainstream. 856 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,252 We raised you to be exceptional. 857 00:43:08,627 --> 00:43:11,213 - If your father were alive... - What, he'd be disappointed? 858 00:43:11,797 --> 00:43:14,383 Because, God forbid, I have to live up to his standards, right? 859 00:43:15,259 --> 00:43:16,427 But he’s not here, Mom. 860 00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:19,263 So, why are you still taking his side? 861 00:43:22,182 --> 00:43:23,726 What are you talking about? 862 00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:29,273 How come you never came to any of my basketball games? 863 00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:32,484 [sighs heavily] 864 00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:35,573 That was your time with your father. He was the coach. You were the star. 865 00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:39,116 I still have every trophy, and you have to know how proud I was 866 00:43:39,199 --> 00:43:41,744 - of every single win. - What about when we lost? 867 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:44,538 - Well, you didn’t lose very often. - No, I didn't lose very often 868 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:46,915 because according to Dad failure was not an option. 869 00:43:47,541 --> 00:43:48,917 But apparently, now, it is. 870 00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:52,379 - You are not a failure. - No, I know that I'm not a failure. 871 00:43:52,588 --> 00:43:53,982 So, why are you still lecturing me? 872 00:43:54,006 --> 00:43:56,425 I just want you to expect more from your life. 873 00:43:56,508 --> 00:43:59,094 Make the most of your time on this planet. 874 00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:02,431 I’m not the one who's still living in the same house. 875 00:44:03,098 --> 00:44:04,433 [exhales heavily] 876 00:44:09,021 --> 00:44:10,272 [knock at door] 877 00:44:11,273 --> 00:44:14,652 [Daniel] Ma, did you break in to my apartment and steal my vodka? 878 00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:16,654 [faster knocks at door] 879 00:44:17,029 --> 00:44:18,029 Vodka? 880 00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:19,907 That's crazy talk. 881 00:44:21,533 --> 00:44:24,411 Hey, we were supposed to have dinner. I baked you a pie. 882 00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:26,789 - I was on your date last night. - [door closes] 883 00:44:26,872 --> 00:44:28,749 What? How was it? 884 00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:31,043 I’d rather be bitten by the dog again. 885 00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:35,714 [scoffs] I had such hopes for that girl from Yonkers. 886 00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:39,510 You know, sometimes it's the second date when the magic happens. 887 00:44:48,644 --> 00:44:50,771 You want to meet me at the Met after work? 888 00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:52,106 [Matt] Uh, I can't. 889 00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:54,566 I have a party at One Oak tonight. 890 00:44:55,275 --> 00:44:57,945 A product launch for a shampoo/body wash. 891 00:44:58,237 --> 00:44:59,905 - Are mothers invited? - No. 892 00:45:00,447 --> 00:45:02,157 I mean, no, it's, uh... 893 00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:05,244 guest list only, and you've got to RSVP. 894 00:45:05,994 --> 00:45:06,994 [chuckles] 895 00:45:07,830 --> 00:45:08,997 It's not even a party. 896 00:45:09,832 --> 00:45:12,584 It’s work. And I shouldn’t have even said it was a party. 897 00:45:24,346 --> 00:45:26,765 It's good to see you, Mom. Love you! 898 00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:30,310 And if you decide to leave, just lock up. 899 00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:32,020 - [elevator bell] - Like I said. 900 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,189 I'm not leaving. 901 00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:36,399 Okay. 902 00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:42,406 Look. Oh, it has little bees. 903 00:45:42,489 --> 00:45:46,118 [Helen] Oh, cute. My gosh, can you imagine? 904 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:50,622 It's sort of just... What do we know about this party? 905 00:45:50,706 --> 00:45:53,709 - [Carol] There’s a list, apparently. - For a shampoo? 906 00:45:53,792 --> 00:45:56,628 Ugh! I feel naked. 907 00:45:56,712 --> 00:45:57,880 [gasps] 908 00:45:57,963 --> 00:45:59,673 [Helen] Where have you been hiding those? 909 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:01,550 I try to de-emphasize. 910 00:46:01,633 --> 00:46:04,011 [Helen] Why? They’re spectacular. 911 00:46:04,094 --> 00:46:06,013 Oh, is this appropriate, you think? 912 00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:08,974 That dress, or crashing your son’s work party? 913 00:46:09,057 --> 00:46:12,186 [scoffs] Matt brought home a girl almost half his age. 914 00:46:12,269 --> 00:46:15,939 Well, Larry married a girl almost half his age. It's just what men do. 915 00:46:16,023 --> 00:46:17,733 - [all laugh] - [Carol] Oh... 916 00:46:17,858 --> 00:46:19,485 - [Gillian] How about these? - Mmm. 917 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:21,779 Matt, he doesn't listen to me anymore. 918 00:46:22,362 --> 00:46:24,782 So, I’m trying to listen to him. 919 00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:29,286 I’m trying to understand his life here, support what he wants. 920 00:46:29,495 --> 00:46:31,038 Is that going too far? 921 00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,121 No. 922 00:46:32,664 --> 00:46:34,875 - That is admirable. - [Helen] Yes. 923 00:46:35,417 --> 00:46:39,546 You should go to that party, and you should wear this fabulous dress. 924 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:42,049 - [chuckles] - And we should get your hair done. 925 00:46:42,132 --> 00:46:43,926 - [Carol] Oh! - [Helen laughs] 926 00:46:45,469 --> 00:46:46,637 That's her. 927 00:46:46,845 --> 00:46:49,348 - Okay, well, is she any good? - [Gillian] I don’t know. 928 00:46:49,431 --> 00:46:51,308 - [Helen] Carol it’s time. - Time for what? 929 00:46:51,391 --> 00:46:52,643 - A new look. - Yeah. 930 00:46:52,726 --> 00:46:55,229 Now, come on. I got to meet Paul for lunch at 1:00. 931 00:46:57,231 --> 00:46:58,732 - Hi, I'm Erin. - [Gillian] Oh! 932 00:46:59,024 --> 00:47:00,864 And I see you brought your girl... Oh, my gosh. 933 00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:03,529 - Oh! [laughs nervously] - Mrs. Lieberman. 934 00:47:04,238 --> 00:47:05,989 [stutters] How crazy. 935 00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:10,410 Erin! Yes, it’s Gillian. And this is Carol and Helen. 936 00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:12,204 - Hi. [chuckles] - [Carol] Hello. 937 00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:14,581 - I... I know this is weird. - Yep. 938 00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:16,959 And I'm sorry. But it was Carol. 939 00:47:17,334 --> 00:47:18,961 - Carol wants a makeover. - No. 940 00:47:19,044 --> 00:47:22,548 No, I did not say "makeover," okay? [chuckles] 941 00:47:22,631 --> 00:47:25,008 Look, um, I'm going to a party tonight. 942 00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:26,802 But first things first, 943 00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:30,055 I need to know what is your experience with my texture of hair? 944 00:47:30,138 --> 00:47:33,141 - Oh, yeah. I do all types of hair. - See? 945 00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:36,520 [chuckles] You're the perfect stylist. 946 00:47:36,603 --> 00:47:37,603 Perfect. 947 00:47:37,980 --> 00:47:38,980 Okay. 948 00:47:39,189 --> 00:47:40,189 Okay. 949 00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:43,277 Right? [laughs] 950 00:47:43,986 --> 00:47:45,821 [Erin] Does Daniel know you’re here? 951 00:47:46,905 --> 00:47:48,991 Uh, no. This is all me. 952 00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:51,493 But I remember that you'd mentioned this salon 953 00:47:51,660 --> 00:47:53,620 when we had brunch that one time. 954 00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:57,749 Right, and then you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. 955 00:47:58,458 --> 00:47:59,458 Jesus. 956 00:48:00,002 --> 00:48:01,044 Did I? 957 00:48:01,628 --> 00:48:02,713 Eek! 958 00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:05,132 Oh! I'm so sorry. 959 00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:07,217 Anyhoo, I just... [clears throat] 960 00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:11,346 - Get Carol started. - Oh, no, no. No rush. 961 00:48:11,513 --> 00:48:12,973 Let's not cut angry. 962 00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:15,225 I'm sorry. Did I say that I'm sorry? 963 00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:18,437 Yeah, no, three times now. So, I think we're good. 964 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:19,521 [chuckles] 965 00:48:20,147 --> 00:48:21,147 Okay. 966 00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:22,566 [Erin] So, Carol. 967 00:48:23,442 --> 00:48:25,202 - [Carol] Yes? - Are you open to a new shape? 968 00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:26,445 [Helen] She is. 969 00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:28,780 Well, nothing severe. 970 00:48:28,864 --> 00:48:32,618 You know, Finn always loved my hair just the way that it is, so... 971 00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:35,954 Well, you have a beautiful face. We should frame your face 972 00:48:37,122 --> 00:48:39,333 And I think we gotta rock these curls. 973 00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:41,752 [upbeat music] 974 00:48:42,377 --> 00:48:43,795 Hello! 975 00:48:49,051 --> 00:48:51,261 - [Helen] That's good. - You're my first cut. 976 00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:52,471 [all laugh] 977 00:48:53,597 --> 00:48:54,848 Okay, put your head back. 978 00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,186 What do you think? 979 00:48:59,269 --> 00:49:00,687 [both gasp] 980 00:49:01,063 --> 00:49:06,193 Oh, my gosh! If you looked any younger, Matt would date you. 981 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,200 - [laughs] - [Gillian] You’re a miracle worker. 982 00:49:08,612 --> 00:49:10,113 - No. - Really? Was it that tired? 983 00:49:10,197 --> 00:49:11,657 [all laugh] 984 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,951 Erin, thank you. I love it. 985 00:49:14,034 --> 00:49:15,452 I just helped you be you. 986 00:49:15,535 --> 00:49:16,787 [chuckles] 987 00:49:18,372 --> 00:49:21,750 Look, Erin, I really have to apologize. 988 00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:22,668 Again? 989 00:49:22,751 --> 00:49:25,879 Yes, again. I should have tried harder before. 990 00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:28,799 Listen, maybe I could take you and Daniel out to lunch, 991 00:49:28,882 --> 00:49:30,759 or maybe you could do my hair? 992 00:49:30,842 --> 00:49:33,762 Now, you volunteer. Thank you. 993 00:49:34,554 --> 00:49:36,473 No, I'm actually moving next week. 994 00:49:36,556 --> 00:49:38,183 What? Why? Where? 995 00:49:38,266 --> 00:49:42,145 My friend has a salon in Los Angeles, so, I’m gonna try the other coast. 996 00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:46,066 But it was so good to see you again. And enjoy your party, Carol. 997 00:49:46,149 --> 00:49:48,652 [laughs] Well, how can I not now? 998 00:49:48,735 --> 00:49:50,654 - Thank you. - Nice to meet you, Erin. 999 00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:51,989 How is he? 1000 00:49:53,115 --> 00:49:54,157 He's, uh... 1001 00:49:54,574 --> 00:49:57,744 Yeah, well, you know, been better. 1002 00:49:58,662 --> 00:49:59,662 With you... 1003 00:50:00,205 --> 00:50:01,205 he was better. 1004 00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:03,542 Till I broke his heart. 1005 00:50:06,336 --> 00:50:07,587 But he broke mine first. 1006 00:50:08,964 --> 00:50:10,090 So, we’re even. 1007 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:12,800 He did. 1008 00:50:18,557 --> 00:50:20,017 One thing I do know, 1009 00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:23,979 the problem is not that I meddled, it's that I should've meddled sooner. 1010 00:50:24,062 --> 00:50:26,273 Mm-mmm. I wouldn’t tell him that. 1011 00:50:26,606 --> 00:50:28,817 - [chuckles] - There’s Paul. There's Paul. 1012 00:50:30,736 --> 00:50:32,404 Look at him. He's so handsome. 1013 00:50:32,946 --> 00:50:35,240 We're not even here. Go enjoy your apology. 1014 00:50:36,950 --> 00:50:38,886 - [Helen] Hi. - [Carol] I don't want him to see us. 1015 00:50:38,910 --> 00:50:41,305 [Gillian] We're middle-aged women in Manhattan. We're practically invisible. 1016 00:50:41,329 --> 00:50:43,331 [Helen chuckles] Oh. 1017 00:50:43,957 --> 00:50:44,957 Thank you. 1018 00:50:46,376 --> 00:50:47,376 Thank you. 1019 00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:51,757 - You were so thoughtful with the note. - Oh. 1020 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,341 Was that Andre's idea? 1021 00:50:53,425 --> 00:50:54,843 [sighs] 1022 00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:56,469 - Excuse me. - Yes? 1023 00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:59,556 I'm gonna have what she's having. Without the taunting. [laughs] 1024 00:51:01,224 --> 00:51:02,350 Listen, I'm... 1025 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:05,854 really sorry I attacked you last night about Dad. 1026 00:51:08,356 --> 00:51:09,816 Yeah. Okay. 1027 00:51:10,067 --> 00:51:11,610 - Yes. - Sorry. 1028 00:51:12,694 --> 00:51:13,695 Um... 1029 00:51:14,529 --> 00:51:17,908 it's just not my problem if you can't let go. 1030 00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,120 Oh, I usually get the fish. 1031 00:51:22,746 --> 00:51:24,039 [Carol] Aww. 1032 00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:27,167 - So... - What do you mean I can't let go? 1033 00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:30,504 I'm just saying that's the issue. 1034 00:51:30,587 --> 00:51:33,173 [chuckles] Well, you’re absolutely wrong. 1035 00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:36,176 I am happily married to someone I am in love with. 1036 00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:38,470 I will believe anything you tell me. 1037 00:51:38,553 --> 00:51:41,515 Please stop patronizing me. Thank you. 1038 00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:43,016 - [waitress] Enjoy. - Thanks. 1039 00:51:44,559 --> 00:51:47,104 I’m not patronizing. I’m apologizing. 1040 00:51:47,187 --> 00:51:50,315 So, accusing me of having a sham marriage is what you call an apology? 1041 00:51:50,398 --> 00:51:52,567 I’m not accusing you of anything. 1042 00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:54,861 - I’m just trying to apologize. - [chuckles] 1043 00:51:54,945 --> 00:51:57,197 You know, it's what you always do. 1044 00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,658 You always make some outrageous accusation 1045 00:51:59,741 --> 00:52:02,035 and then you act as if I’m being hypersensitive 1046 00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:03,495 to notice that you’ve said it. 1047 00:52:03,578 --> 00:52:06,957 - Ahh. - [Paul] It's a tiny observation. 1048 00:52:07,124 --> 00:52:08,792 It's something that was obvious to me. 1049 00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:10,853 Mom, if I was wrong, you wouldn't be so upset. 1050 00:52:10,877 --> 00:52:13,088 Mom! Oh, my... 1051 00:52:13,213 --> 00:52:14,756 - We should go. - [Paul] Don't... 1052 00:52:15,340 --> 00:52:17,100 - [exhales heavily] - [Gillian] We should go! 1053 00:52:17,926 --> 00:52:19,928 You should be ashamed of yourself. 1054 00:52:20,762 --> 00:52:22,055 Carol Walker? 1055 00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:28,145 Oh. [chuckles] Oh. 1056 00:52:28,770 --> 00:52:29,813 Gillian Lieberman. 1057 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:33,483 I don’t know why she didn’t tell you that we're in town, 1058 00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:36,361 but I certainly wouldn't use the word "conspiracy." 1059 00:52:36,444 --> 00:52:39,865 [Helen] My feelings, or lack of them, toward my husband and my ex-husband, 1060 00:52:39,948 --> 00:52:42,951 - are really none of your business. - I didn't say they were. 1061 00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:44,786 - That was meant for me. - Oh. 1062 00:52:45,036 --> 00:52:46,997 And you have no place speculating 1063 00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:50,458 on what I may or may not be thinking or feeling, 1064 00:52:50,542 --> 00:52:54,379 Especially when your speculations are inaccurate and deeply hurtful. 1065 00:52:54,462 --> 00:52:55,964 You are absolutely right. 1066 00:52:56,047 --> 00:52:57,174 Subject closed. 1067 00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:58,508 - [Paul] Thank God. - Yeah. 1068 00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:01,052 I think Carol and I should get going now. 1069 00:53:01,136 --> 00:53:03,722 Well, there's one more thing I wanted to tell you. 1070 00:53:03,805 --> 00:53:06,558 Just... get everything out on the table. 1071 00:53:06,641 --> 00:53:09,561 Didn't want you to hear it from somebody else or somebody else's son. 1072 00:53:09,644 --> 00:53:12,397 Or if I even needed to tell you 'cause it doesn't really involve you. 1073 00:53:12,647 --> 00:53:14,167 Just, come on, spit it out. [chuckles] 1074 00:53:14,649 --> 00:53:16,860 I... might not... 1075 00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:19,905 have children of my own. 1076 00:53:20,697 --> 00:53:21,781 That much I figured. 1077 00:53:21,865 --> 00:53:23,575 Gay people have children all the time, Mom. 1078 00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:25,952 - Do you want children? - No, I do not. 1079 00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,246 The point is that gay men have... 1080 00:53:28,788 --> 00:53:31,750 sperm, and lesbians have wombs and we don’t need straight people 1081 00:53:31,833 --> 00:53:34,878 - to tell us what we can or can’t do. - What? 1082 00:53:36,254 --> 00:53:37,505 This is why I didn’t tell you. 1083 00:53:37,964 --> 00:53:41,343 You are too young to make a decision like this. 1084 00:53:41,426 --> 00:53:44,095 - A decision like what? - Two mommies and a sperm-daddy. 1085 00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:47,098 - Right? - Mom, what I’m saying is... 1086 00:53:47,557 --> 00:53:52,229 if I lent my sperm to two women that I knew and trusted, 1087 00:53:52,437 --> 00:53:55,941 then I would know that the child would be loved and cared for... 1088 00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:59,194 Are you saying you weren't loved? Are you trying to make me feel guilty? 1089 00:53:59,277 --> 00:54:01,029 This has nothing to do with you. 1090 00:54:01,112 --> 00:54:03,823 - This is about me! - And the gift you're giving your friends? 1091 00:54:03,907 --> 00:54:06,493 Yes. The gift I am giving my friends, which I feel good about 1092 00:54:06,576 --> 00:54:08,453 because I love them, and they love the baby. 1093 00:54:08,536 --> 00:54:09,537 - [gasps] - [gasps] 1094 00:54:09,621 --> 00:54:10,621 [gasps] Oh. 1095 00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:15,311 - [Helen] Did he say "baby"? - You have a baby? 1096 00:54:15,335 --> 00:54:16,920 There's a baby? 1097 00:54:17,212 --> 00:54:18,852 What did you think we were talking about? 1098 00:54:19,297 --> 00:54:22,759 [raised voice] Sperm! I thought we were talking about sperm! 1099 00:54:22,842 --> 00:54:26,221 A baby takes nine months. You've kept this from me for nine months? 1100 00:54:26,304 --> 00:54:29,891 - Mom, the more of a scene... - This has been a lovely lunch, 1101 00:54:29,975 --> 00:54:32,143 even though we didn’t have lunch. So don't get up. 1102 00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:34,813 Please, just sit there and have more... not your children, 1103 00:54:34,896 --> 00:54:36,731 so I can have more not my grandchildren 1104 00:54:36,815 --> 00:54:38,441 And we can get together for the holidays 1105 00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:40,485 and have one big, not-happy, not-a-family, 1106 00:54:40,568 --> 00:54:43,196 because I’m not a mother anymore, I’m an other. 1107 00:54:43,321 --> 00:54:45,049 - And now I am not a grandmother... - What is... 1108 00:54:45,073 --> 00:54:46,866 ...I’m a grand-other! 1109 00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:50,221 - [Gillian] Helen, sweetie. - Your hair looks very nice, Carol. 1110 00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:51,454 Well, thank you, Paul. 1111 00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:54,291 But that was not an apology. 1112 00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:58,335 [Carol] Helen! 1113 00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:00,672 [Helen crying] 1114 00:55:00,755 --> 00:55:03,258 I thought you didn’t want to be a grandmother. 1115 00:55:03,341 --> 00:55:07,345 [crying] Well, I just don't want things to be taken away from me. 1116 00:55:07,846 --> 00:55:08,846 I mean, 1117 00:55:09,222 --> 00:55:11,933 now someone else gets my grandchild. 1118 00:55:12,225 --> 00:55:14,978 Just like someone else got my husband. 1119 00:55:15,895 --> 00:55:17,689 How did this become about Larry? 1120 00:55:18,064 --> 00:55:20,692 Because divorce is not fair. 1121 00:55:21,526 --> 00:55:25,363 Divorce is great for men. They get someone younger, 1122 00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,073 thinner, better, 1123 00:55:27,324 --> 00:55:31,870 [stutters] and women get someone older and fatter with thinner hair! 1124 00:55:31,953 --> 00:55:33,955 - [phone beeps] - Sure. 1125 00:55:34,956 --> 00:55:36,708 [Gillian] I got a text from Daniel. 1126 00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:40,545 "Stop calling me." Ugh. 1127 00:55:41,713 --> 00:55:42,881 What should I reply? 1128 00:55:42,964 --> 00:55:44,799 Please, don’t reply. 1129 00:55:45,091 --> 00:55:46,134 Let's just... 1130 00:55:46,634 --> 00:55:49,471 Let's just go home before we do any more damage. 1131 00:55:49,679 --> 00:55:51,765 [Gillian] No. Carol. 1132 00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:54,851 You and your boobs are going out. And I don’t mean me and Helen. 1133 00:55:54,934 --> 00:55:57,812 Yeah. Carol, you go out and have fun. 1134 00:55:59,147 --> 00:56:02,650 [tearfully] I wish Larry had died on me, too. 1135 00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:09,574 You should think more about what you say 1136 00:56:10,116 --> 00:56:11,618 and less about what you feel. 1137 00:56:12,243 --> 00:56:13,661 So sorry. 1138 00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:17,791 [tearfully] What did I say? 1139 00:56:19,084 --> 00:56:20,835 - What? - Really? 1140 00:56:21,169 --> 00:56:23,922 - [muffled techno music] - [indistinct chatter] 1141 00:56:27,675 --> 00:56:29,469 Oh, hi. Excuse me. 1142 00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:31,053 Um... 1143 00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:33,723 I'm a guest of Matt Walker. 1144 00:56:34,140 --> 00:56:35,558 Do you have him on the list? 1145 00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:37,894 He's All Balls. 1146 00:56:38,353 --> 00:56:39,437 Uh, the magazine. 1147 00:56:40,522 --> 00:56:43,191 - It's a magazine. - Yeah. I know Matt. 1148 00:56:43,650 --> 00:56:46,152 Uh, he's already checked in. He doesn't have a plus one. 1149 00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:49,656 Oh! I'm his mother. Carol Walker. 1150 00:56:49,739 --> 00:56:52,325 I have a driver's license. [chuckles] [squeals] 1151 00:56:53,118 --> 00:56:55,078 - Um, there. - [hostess] Oh. 1152 00:56:55,161 --> 00:56:58,415 Oh! And a picture of Matt in the tub when he was three. 1153 00:56:58,581 --> 00:57:00,750 Ah! Does he have a woody? 1154 00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:05,171 [gasps] Oh, no! That's a toy boat. 1155 00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:07,006 Oh, my God. 1156 00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:10,468 [camera clicks] 1157 00:57:10,552 --> 00:57:12,220 - [Carol chuckles] - It's for Instagram. 1158 00:57:12,720 --> 00:57:13,720 Oh! 1159 00:57:14,681 --> 00:57:15,682 She's good. 1160 00:57:15,765 --> 00:57:17,475 ["Like An Animal" by Rüfüs Du Sol] 1161 00:57:17,559 --> 00:57:22,439 ♪ How long Have I been on a hunt for you? ♪ 1162 00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:27,152 ♪ No sound ♪ 1163 00:57:27,402 --> 00:57:30,363 ♪ Of anything that I can do ♪ 1164 00:57:31,281 --> 00:57:33,616 ♪ But I don't mind ♪ 1165 00:57:33,908 --> 00:57:38,163 ♪ I don't mind 'Cause there's nothing left to lose ♪ 1166 00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:41,833 ♪ For the first time ♪ 1167 00:57:41,916 --> 00:57:45,962 ♪ The first time I'm calling out for you ♪ 1168 00:57:46,254 --> 00:57:47,088 Okay. 1169 00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:49,174 ♪ Like an animal ♪ 1170 00:57:50,925 --> 00:57:53,011 Excuse me. Excuse me. 1171 00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:57,807 ♪ And I'm coming home ♪ 1172 00:57:58,850 --> 00:58:00,852 ♪ I'm coming home for you... ♪ 1173 00:58:01,352 --> 00:58:02,352 [shouts] 1174 00:58:03,813 --> 00:58:07,275 [nervously] Ohh! I ruined your dress. I'm so sorry. 1175 00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:09,861 - I never liked this dress. - Oh, it's all my fault. 1176 00:58:10,361 --> 00:58:11,488 I was running from my son. 1177 00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:14,824 - I'm Julia. - [Carol groaning] 1178 00:58:15,408 --> 00:58:17,160 Carol. Walker. 1179 00:58:17,243 --> 00:58:19,329 Why are you running from your son? 1180 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,706 He told me I couldn't come. 1181 00:58:22,207 --> 00:58:24,709 - That's not nice. - Oh, maybe it was. 1182 00:58:24,792 --> 00:58:27,337 Maybe he knew everyone here would be 30 years younger, 1183 00:58:27,420 --> 00:58:30,381 and I would feel like the last dinosaur. [chuckles] 1184 00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:34,594 - Well, thank you, Damon. Thank you. - [Damon] You're very welcome. 1185 00:58:36,054 --> 00:58:39,224 [sighs] Damon, Damon, Damon. [giggles] 1186 00:58:39,432 --> 00:58:42,769 Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Would a grandma wear these? 1187 00:58:42,894 --> 00:58:45,647 No. Especially not to bed. 1188 00:58:45,730 --> 00:58:49,067 We are not going to bed, we are going clubbing. 1189 00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:52,403 I didn’t go clubbing when I was supposed to go clubbing. 1190 00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:54,072 Would we even get into a club? 1191 00:58:54,155 --> 00:58:57,283 Well, I didn’t think I’d get into these jeans and look at me now. 1192 00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:59,494 - [Gillian] Can you breathe? - [Helen] Sporadically. 1193 00:58:59,577 --> 00:59:02,080 [Helen laughing] Come on. Let's go downstairs. 1194 00:59:02,163 --> 00:59:04,624 This hotel is supposed to be a huge party scene. 1195 00:59:04,707 --> 00:59:06,209 Just call for a bellboy. 1196 00:59:06,334 --> 00:59:09,462 One's more gorgeous than the next, and they come to you. 1197 00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:12,131 I know. You’ve called for ice twice. 1198 00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:13,800 Just fuck one of them already. 1199 00:59:13,883 --> 00:59:15,677 What? I'm thirsty. 1200 00:59:15,843 --> 00:59:20,181 Come on, we are in New York City. Let's go. 1201 00:59:20,890 --> 00:59:22,809 [Gillian] Okay. Let me take a shower. 1202 00:59:23,142 --> 00:59:24,352 Yes! 1203 00:59:24,477 --> 00:59:25,687 I think this might be him. 1204 00:59:25,770 --> 00:59:27,981 Is he the most handsome guy in the room? 1205 00:59:29,023 --> 00:59:30,024 He's got swagger. 1206 00:59:30,108 --> 00:59:32,110 ["Rockabye" by Clean Bandit playing in background] 1207 00:59:33,778 --> 00:59:35,363 That's him. [chuckles] 1208 00:59:35,655 --> 00:59:37,282 I can’t talk to him right now. 1209 00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:41,202 Matt... has never seen me drunk. 1210 00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:42,495 [chuckles] 1211 00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:46,708 So, tell me more about this non-profit that you're working with. 1212 00:59:46,791 --> 00:59:48,126 It's called micro lending. 1213 00:59:48,334 --> 00:59:51,546 We provide small loans for the world's poorest of the poor. 1214 00:59:51,713 --> 00:59:54,924 Mostly women. So they can work their own way out of poverty. 1215 00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:58,845 I want you to give my son a child. [laughs] 1216 01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,430 Oh! 1217 01:00:02,140 --> 01:00:05,685 Matt, he may seem vain and superficial, 1218 01:00:05,768 --> 01:00:10,648 and so afraid of any real emotion that it makes you cry. 1219 01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:14,110 But he's basically good. 1220 01:00:14,902 --> 01:00:19,073 He has it in him to be a really good man. 1221 01:00:20,116 --> 01:00:24,787 I need you to show him how to be that man. 1222 01:00:27,248 --> 01:00:29,167 I think we should get you home. 1223 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:31,252 [gasps] Let's dance. 1224 01:00:31,336 --> 01:00:34,172 I used to love to dance. 1225 01:00:34,255 --> 01:00:36,924 [hip hop music] 1226 01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,222 Matt's dad used to take me dancing. 1227 01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:47,185 He's dead now. That's why he stopped. 1228 01:00:52,023 --> 01:00:53,232 - [Matt] Mom! - [gasps] 1229 01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:54,900 What are you... 1230 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:58,279 What is all this? What happened to your hair? 1231 01:00:58,363 --> 01:01:00,615 And mom, you did not have those this morning. 1232 01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:02,659 Oh, Matt... 1233 01:01:03,701 --> 01:01:05,953 I’m in love with Julia! [laughs] 1234 01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:10,166 I love her. I think you might, too. 1235 01:01:13,044 --> 01:01:16,339 Okay, let go of her hand. She is my mother. 1236 01:01:16,422 --> 01:01:18,966 Dancing does not make you a lesbian. 1237 01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:21,844 Your dad liked lesbians, by the way. 1238 01:01:22,136 --> 01:01:24,305 I found his videos after he died. 1239 01:01:24,389 --> 01:01:27,433 Please, please, stop talking. And dancing. 1240 01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:30,770 Let's... You know what? Let's just get you into a cab. 1241 01:01:30,853 --> 01:01:33,773 You get into a cab! I’m having dessert. 1242 01:01:35,316 --> 01:01:37,985 Ohh! I might stay out all night. 1243 01:01:38,444 --> 01:01:40,238 I may drink from a shoe. 1244 01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:43,741 I was a girl before I was your mother. 1245 01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:49,455 All right, does this outfit work? I mean outside of Poughkeepsie. 1246 01:01:49,997 --> 01:01:51,124 [Helen snoring] 1247 01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:53,793 - [Gillian sighs] - [phone rings] 1248 01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:00,425 - Hey. - [Carol] Gillian, oh! 1249 01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:02,427 I need my friends. 1250 01:02:03,428 --> 01:02:06,389 - He barely recognized me. - [Gillian] Because of your new look? 1251 01:02:06,472 --> 01:02:08,933 No! Because I was having fun! 1252 01:02:09,016 --> 01:02:11,602 - That’s what we were supposed to do. - You passed out. 1253 01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:14,105 By the way, you have incredible new beauty products. 1254 01:02:14,188 --> 01:02:15,940 Yeah. It’s all anti-aging. 1255 01:02:16,023 --> 01:02:18,192 Why is everyone anti-aging? 1256 01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:21,070 You know what’s anti-aging? Death. 1257 01:02:21,154 --> 01:02:22,864 Let's be happy we're aging. 1258 01:02:22,947 --> 01:02:23,781 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1259 01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:25,032 [Carol] By the way, 1260 01:02:25,116 --> 01:02:29,245 do you know how long it’s been since I have had... 1261 01:02:29,328 --> 01:02:30,328 Sex? 1262 01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:32,498 I was gonna say pizza. 1263 01:02:32,582 --> 01:02:33,583 Oh. [chuckles] 1264 01:02:33,666 --> 01:02:34,876 Oh. 1265 01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:36,961 [moaning] 1266 01:02:37,044 --> 01:02:38,379 - Wow. - [all laugh] 1267 01:02:39,046 --> 01:02:40,590 I’m not going home tonight. 1268 01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:42,508 I mean, Matt's home. 1269 01:02:43,009 --> 01:02:44,135 I'm on vacation. 1270 01:02:44,218 --> 01:02:47,018 - So, we’re done with the mission? - [Carol] Mm, we have a new mission. 1271 01:02:48,097 --> 01:02:49,599 Dance till dawn. 1272 01:02:49,682 --> 01:02:51,058 [laughs] 1273 01:02:51,934 --> 01:02:53,478 Did we fail the first mission? 1274 01:02:53,936 --> 01:02:56,814 - Fuck the first mission! - [Gillian] What about the boys? 1275 01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:58,691 Fuck the boys! 1276 01:02:58,775 --> 01:02:59,901 - [laughs] - Wow! 1277 01:02:59,984 --> 01:03:03,488 - [Helen] Man, I love the new Carol! Yes! - [Gillian laughing] 1278 01:03:03,571 --> 01:03:05,531 [all three screaming and cheering] 1279 01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:07,283 ["Just Our Style" playing] 1280 01:03:07,366 --> 01:03:09,702 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1281 01:03:10,369 --> 01:03:12,455 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1282 01:03:12,538 --> 01:03:16,083 ♪ Heartbeat, rewind Turned up, amplified ♪ 1283 01:03:16,167 --> 01:03:19,712 ♪ We can do it how we like Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1284 01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:23,216 ♪ Bang bang, young drunk Cheap thrills, big love ♪ 1285 01:03:23,299 --> 01:03:25,426 ♪ Do what makes us feel alive ♪ 1286 01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:27,261 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1287 01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,931 ♪ Everybody now here we go Oh, oh ♪ 1288 01:03:30,431 --> 01:03:32,725 ♪ Everybody now here we go Oh, oh ♪ 1289 01:03:32,809 --> 01:03:36,145 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1290 01:03:36,270 --> 01:03:39,982 ♪ Like a super sonic boom Love the way we're coming through... ♪ 1291 01:03:40,399 --> 01:03:41,399 One more. 1292 01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:43,402 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1293 01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:46,864 ♪ And we're shooting for the sky Living young and running wild ♪ 1294 01:03:46,948 --> 01:03:49,283 ♪ That's just our style ♪ 1295 01:03:50,576 --> 01:03:51,869 [Helen] Get it, girl. Get it! 1296 01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:55,206 - One, two, three. - [laughing loudly] 1297 01:03:55,289 --> 01:03:58,668 ♪ Black west, sparks fly Light the fuse, electrify ♪ 1298 01:03:58,751 --> 01:04:02,672 ♪ We can do it how we like Whoa, oh, oh... ♪ 1299 01:04:03,214 --> 01:04:06,050 - [screams] - [whoops] 1300 01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:08,511 ♪ Everybody now here we go Oh, oh ♪ 1301 01:04:08,594 --> 01:04:11,514 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1302 01:04:11,597 --> 01:04:13,599 ♪ Like a super sonic boom Love the way... ♪ 1303 01:04:13,891 --> 01:04:15,476 [all laughing and screaming] 1304 01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:18,896 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1305 01:04:18,980 --> 01:04:22,358 ♪ And we're shooting for the sky Living young and running wild ♪ 1306 01:04:22,441 --> 01:04:24,861 ♪ That's just our style Oh, oh ♪ 1307 01:04:24,944 --> 01:04:27,864 [indistinct chattering and laughter] 1308 01:04:29,949 --> 01:04:32,952 ♪ That's just our style Hey ♪ 1309 01:04:33,035 --> 01:04:35,037 [knock at door] 1310 01:04:38,499 --> 01:04:40,543 - [knocking continues] - Yeah. 1311 01:04:47,633 --> 01:04:49,135 Oh, it's you. 1312 01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:51,470 [sighs] 1313 01:04:53,931 --> 01:04:55,308 Your mother left this in the cab. 1314 01:04:57,435 --> 01:04:58,435 Thank you. 1315 01:04:59,186 --> 01:05:00,438 Do you know where she is? 1316 01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:02,565 Sleeping. It's early. 1317 01:05:03,024 --> 01:05:04,483 - Is she? - Isn't she? 1318 01:05:05,067 --> 01:05:06,485 This isn't where I dropped her. 1319 01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,280 I got your address from her phone. 1320 01:05:15,912 --> 01:05:16,912 Mom? 1321 01:05:18,789 --> 01:05:20,416 Okay, where did you drop her? 1322 01:05:21,042 --> 01:05:23,377 At a pizza place in the Village. She was meeting friends. 1323 01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:25,129 She doesn't eat pizza. 1324 01:05:25,713 --> 01:05:27,840 And she doesn't have any friends in the Village. 1325 01:05:28,090 --> 01:05:29,650 And the hair, and the dress. Like she... 1326 01:05:30,176 --> 01:05:32,178 wanted people to look at her. That's not my mother. 1327 01:05:32,261 --> 01:05:33,763 Okay, she doesn't even like dancing. 1328 01:05:33,846 --> 01:05:35,431 She loves to dance. 1329 01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:37,308 [phone ringing] 1330 01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:40,769 Right. 1331 01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:44,899 Uh, my name and number are on a napkin in the phone case. 1332 01:05:46,734 --> 01:05:48,211 - I'd like to know she's okay. - [elevator bell] 1333 01:05:48,235 --> 01:05:50,071 [elevator door opens] 1334 01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:55,117 [Matt] Wait. Hey. Hi, Mrs. B. 1335 01:05:55,576 --> 01:05:56,576 Julia. 1336 01:05:57,119 --> 01:05:59,038 Look, thanks. That was... 1337 01:06:00,665 --> 01:06:01,665 That was nice. 1338 01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:04,377 Great photo on Instagram, by the way. 1339 01:06:04,710 --> 01:06:05,710 What? 1340 01:06:07,838 --> 01:06:09,256 [knock at door] 1341 01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:11,008 [groans] 1342 01:06:12,093 --> 01:06:13,719 Is that someone knocking? 1343 01:06:14,220 --> 01:06:16,156 - Or is it just my head pounding? - [knocking continues] 1344 01:06:16,180 --> 01:06:19,058 - [Helen] You go, Gill. Go. - Why me? 1345 01:06:20,267 --> 01:06:21,267 Okay. 1346 01:06:26,565 --> 01:06:27,400 What is it? 1347 01:06:27,483 --> 01:06:28,567 - Hey, Mom. - Daniel. 1348 01:06:28,901 --> 01:06:30,027 - Excuse me. - What? 1349 01:06:30,486 --> 01:06:31,486 Matt? 1350 01:06:32,279 --> 01:06:33,479 - They're here. [sighs] - Yeah. 1351 01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:35,032 - Mom! - [Carol] Hmm. 1352 01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:36,617 - Mom! - [gasps] 1353 01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:39,787 Is this why you couldn't make a call, hmm? Your new friend dropped this off. 1354 01:06:40,329 --> 01:06:42,873 - [groans] - We were worried sick. 1355 01:06:43,165 --> 01:06:46,669 - Did I invite any of you in? - Did we invite any of you to New York? 1356 01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:50,339 Could everyone just please stop shouting? I have a hangover. 1357 01:06:50,423 --> 01:06:54,260 Aww. Yeah, Mom, that's what happens when you get drunk at my work party. 1358 01:06:54,719 --> 01:06:57,263 And now there is a naked picture of me on Instagram. 1359 01:06:57,346 --> 01:07:00,307 - I had nothing to do with a naked picture. - In the tub. 1360 01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:03,519 Oh, yeah, well, I just showed one person. 1361 01:07:03,602 --> 01:07:05,163 [Helen] We’re allowed to be in New York. 1362 01:07:05,187 --> 01:07:07,398 I had no idea where you were last night. 1363 01:07:07,481 --> 01:07:10,109 I had no idea I had a grandchild, so we’re even. 1364 01:07:11,819 --> 01:07:12,820 I told her. 1365 01:07:12,903 --> 01:07:16,615 See, Paul talks to his mom. Why did you break up with Erin? 1366 01:07:17,324 --> 01:07:19,204 Ma, yesterday you told me you were checking out. 1367 01:07:19,243 --> 01:07:20,494 Why are you still here again? 1368 01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:23,664 - Wait, hang on. You’ve been in a hotel? - Why? Is that a crime? 1369 01:07:23,748 --> 01:07:25,082 Why didn’t you stay in a hotel? 1370 01:07:25,166 --> 01:07:27,418 Well, Helen and Gillian wouldn't let me. 1371 01:07:27,501 --> 01:07:29,003 Why? What’s wrong with a hotel? 1372 01:07:29,420 --> 01:07:32,590 I’ll tell you what’s wrong with this one. The security stinks. 1373 01:07:32,673 --> 01:07:35,301 Would you put on a robe at least? 1374 01:07:35,384 --> 01:07:36,886 What do you care? You’re gay. Here. 1375 01:07:36,969 --> 01:07:39,430 You know what? I'm gay, not blind. 1376 01:07:39,513 --> 01:07:41,640 Okay, Matt. I’ll see you at home. 1377 01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:43,059 Your home is in Poughkeepsie! 1378 01:07:43,142 --> 01:07:45,061 - That's not nice. - [Matt] I'm sorry. 1379 01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:49,607 - Ugh. - Bye, Ma. 1380 01:07:52,234 --> 01:07:55,696 - I wanted to see those since I was ten. - Those are some nice titties. 1381 01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:58,908 Can we not talk about my mom's breasts? .[Daniel] She's a lovely lady. 1382 01:07:58,991 --> 01:08:01,827 - [Matt] Let's talk about going to lunch. - How about we... 1383 01:08:01,911 --> 01:08:03,245 talk about Woody Walker? 1384 01:08:03,329 --> 01:08:05,223 - [Paul] Oh, my God. - [Daniel]You should be proud. 1385 01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:08,209 - It was a toy boat! - A penis-shaped toy boat? 1386 01:08:08,292 --> 01:08:10,753 - Seventy-thousand likes? - Oh, let me see that. 1387 01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:15,382 I am so mad at her. 1388 01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:17,384 Just breathe. Stop. 1389 01:08:21,555 --> 01:08:22,640 I forgive you. 1390 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:25,476 Okay, good. 1391 01:08:27,144 --> 01:08:29,271 Did you tell Larry he has a grandchild? 1392 01:08:29,855 --> 01:08:31,774 I’m gonna go to the store. [clears throat] 1393 01:08:31,899 --> 01:08:34,777 Yes. And he respected my decision. 1394 01:08:35,236 --> 01:08:36,237 I'm sure he did. 1395 01:08:38,364 --> 01:08:39,907 It does not matter anyway, Mom. 1396 01:08:40,908 --> 01:08:42,451 Dad does not have a grandchild. 1397 01:08:42,785 --> 01:08:44,787 - You do not have a grandchild. - I know. 1398 01:08:44,870 --> 01:08:47,832 I do not have a daughter. This was sperm only. 1399 01:08:47,915 --> 01:08:50,209 Oh, Paul, it's a girl? 1400 01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:53,087 [elevator bell] 1401 01:08:54,046 --> 01:08:55,256 [Carol] I'm going home. 1402 01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:57,424 I shouldn't have come. 1403 01:08:58,050 --> 01:09:01,262 Well, what did you think was going to happen, Ma? 1404 01:09:02,930 --> 01:09:04,723 I thought you wouldn't let me in. 1405 01:09:05,391 --> 01:09:06,391 That was an option? 1406 01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:09,102 You’re popular. 1407 01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:11,147 You're successful. 1408 01:09:11,981 --> 01:09:14,108 Mom, you're making it sound so depressing. 1409 01:09:14,191 --> 01:09:17,486 No. This is what’s supposed to happen to children. 1410 01:09:18,571 --> 01:09:20,406 You’re fully independent. 1411 01:09:20,823 --> 01:09:23,409 Mom, why does it feel like we’re breaking up? 1412 01:09:23,659 --> 01:09:26,328 Matthew, I need to tell you something. 1413 01:09:27,037 --> 01:09:30,624 Your dad didn’t want me at your games. That’s why I didn’t go. 1414 01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:36,088 I thought he drove you too hard. And we would argue about it, 1415 01:09:36,172 --> 01:09:39,216 and finally he said, "Well, stop coming if it bothers you." 1416 01:09:40,426 --> 01:09:41,426 And so I did. 1417 01:09:43,137 --> 01:09:45,556 And then all the trophies started rolling in 1418 01:09:45,639 --> 01:09:48,475 and I thought he was right and I was wrong. 1419 01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:52,438 And now it turns out that I was right. 1420 01:09:54,231 --> 01:09:57,193 And what's so ironic is that... 1421 01:09:58,694 --> 01:10:01,655 you did need me then, and you don’t need me now. 1422 01:10:02,573 --> 01:10:03,949 [stammers] I'm fine. 1423 01:10:05,117 --> 01:10:07,036 Right? I turned out fine, right? 1424 01:10:07,119 --> 01:10:08,119 Matthew... 1425 01:10:08,537 --> 01:10:10,789 you know who you are without me. 1426 01:10:13,417 --> 01:10:16,045 I need to figure out who I am without you. 1427 01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:29,016 [sighs] 1428 01:10:29,308 --> 01:10:32,728 So, apparently, the one who didn't carry the baby 1429 01:10:32,811 --> 01:10:35,564 is saying that her mother is the daddy granny. 1430 01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:38,275 So... [grunts] I'm not anything. 1431 01:10:38,484 --> 01:10:41,362 And they even had the gall to tell Paul 1432 01:10:41,445 --> 01:10:43,989 they didn’t want me to even see Ella. 1433 01:10:44,073 --> 01:10:46,283 - Well, what changed their mind? - [Helen] Nothing. 1434 01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:49,578 And you know what is most unfair? I always wanted a girl. 1435 01:10:49,662 --> 01:10:52,790 Larry was one and done, but I would’ve had three if we... 1436 01:10:52,873 --> 01:10:55,668 Wait, why are we here if you can’t see the kid? 1437 01:10:55,751 --> 01:10:58,712 I could be hijacking Erin’s moving van right now. 1438 01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:02,091 - It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s a plan. - I thought we were going home. 1439 01:11:02,174 --> 01:11:04,593 Yeah, we are. We’re just stopping in Cobble Hill first. 1440 01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:08,180 I convinced Paul to give me the address, and I don’t want to show up empty-handed. 1441 01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:11,850 Well, we weren’t wanted by our sons. That didn’t stop us. 1442 01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:14,937 Yeah, I am so tired of being stopped. 1443 01:11:15,229 --> 01:11:19,400 Larry said if it meant so much to me to have a girl, I should’ve had twins. 1444 01:11:19,483 --> 01:11:21,485 Larry, Larry, Larry! Enough with Larry! 1445 01:11:21,568 --> 01:11:24,363 We never want to hear his name again. We never even liked him. 1446 01:11:26,448 --> 01:11:29,660 Look, you’ve been divorced from that idiot for 11 years. 1447 01:11:29,910 --> 01:11:32,371 You still talk about him in the present tense. 1448 01:11:32,454 --> 01:11:34,957 You're wasting a good marriage, 1449 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,293 because you refuse to let go of a bad one. 1450 01:11:37,459 --> 01:11:38,585 What about baby yoga mats? 1451 01:11:38,669 --> 01:11:40,629 Are you jealous? Is that what this is about? 1452 01:11:40,713 --> 01:11:41,839 - What? - You’re jealous 1453 01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:44,466 that I’m the one that has a grandchild. 1454 01:11:44,633 --> 01:11:48,012 Helen, we are thrilled that you get to meet Ella today. 1455 01:11:48,095 --> 01:11:50,973 I think what Gillian is trying to say 1456 01:11:51,056 --> 01:11:53,267 is that you have something special in Frank. 1457 01:11:53,392 --> 01:11:57,146 The way he looks at you, the way he talks about you. 1458 01:11:57,229 --> 01:12:01,525 You have no idea how fortunate you are to have Frank instead of Larry. 1459 01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:04,570 We're not jealous of you. Paul went in a room and jerked off. 1460 01:12:04,653 --> 01:12:07,053 If that makes you a grandmother, then we're all grandmothers. 1461 01:12:07,114 --> 01:12:09,992 Let's stop, all right? We have already pissed off our sons. 1462 01:12:10,075 --> 01:12:12,119 We are all that we have left. 1463 01:12:13,203 --> 01:12:16,081 Jealous? Oh, my God. 1464 01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,542 What is wrong with you, Helen? 1465 01:12:22,087 --> 01:12:23,464 Okay. Okay. 1466 01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:25,299 I'm gonna tell you what’s wrong. 1467 01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:27,384 And it has been brewing for 11 years. 1468 01:12:27,468 --> 01:12:29,720 You know why I divorced Larry, right? 1469 01:12:29,887 --> 01:12:31,156 [Carol] Yeah. He cheated on you. 1470 01:12:31,180 --> 01:12:35,309 Yeah. It was that year our husbands went on that fishing trip to the Berkshires. 1471 01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:36,518 Okay, Helen. You win. 1472 01:12:36,602 --> 01:12:40,064 And Larry had a fuck buddy up there and I found out about it. 1473 01:12:40,147 --> 01:12:43,359 And I had the courage and the self-dignity to leave. 1474 01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:45,322 He was paying her rent from Paul's college fund. 1475 01:12:45,819 --> 01:12:47,571 She was an anorexic blonde vegan. 1476 01:12:47,654 --> 01:12:50,949 And she had a friend for Gillian’s husband. 1477 01:12:51,992 --> 01:12:54,870 Joel cheated on Gillian just like Larry cheated on me, 1478 01:12:54,995 --> 01:12:56,330 but she forgave him! 1479 01:12:56,413 --> 01:13:00,918 I don’t expect you to understand why I forgave Joel. 1480 01:13:01,001 --> 01:13:03,921 Because the only person you’ve ever truly loved is yourself. 1481 01:13:04,380 --> 01:13:05,380 Not Larry, 1482 01:13:05,422 --> 01:13:08,717 and not Frank, and not Carol, or me, or... 1483 01:13:08,967 --> 01:13:12,846 your new sperm-daughter. [raised voice] Not even your own son! 1484 01:13:13,722 --> 01:13:17,017 The only person you ever loved was you. 1485 01:13:18,018 --> 01:13:21,355 Okay. Well, if you are so much better at loving, 1486 01:13:21,438 --> 01:13:25,150 then why is your son the one who’s broke, depressed, and jobless? 1487 01:13:25,776 --> 01:13:27,444 Hmm? I’ll tell you why. 1488 01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:30,739 Because you sabotaged his chance at happiness. 1489 01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,825 That is bullshit, and you know it. 1490 01:13:32,908 --> 01:13:34,576 Is it? He had a ring. 1491 01:13:34,827 --> 01:13:38,956 But you, you planted so many doubts. 1492 01:13:39,039 --> 01:13:41,083 Not just about Erin, but about himself. 1493 01:13:41,333 --> 01:13:43,627 So that when he finally had the balls to propose, 1494 01:13:43,710 --> 01:13:45,796 he caught Erin schtupping her trainer. 1495 01:13:45,921 --> 01:13:47,589 I think Daniel would have mentioned... 1496 01:13:47,673 --> 01:13:49,633 He didn’t want to give you the satisfaction. 1497 01:13:49,716 --> 01:13:53,262 You hated Erin until ten minutes ago. Paul told me. 1498 01:13:53,846 --> 01:13:55,055 Did you know about this? 1499 01:14:00,144 --> 01:14:03,063 I think Matt mentioned something once about a ring. 1500 01:14:03,147 --> 01:14:05,774 Helen, about that fishing trip... 1501 01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:09,278 - Carol, let's just go now. - And Paul jerked off to create a person. 1502 01:14:09,611 --> 01:14:11,613 Helen, in the Berkshires... 1503 01:14:14,408 --> 01:14:17,161 did the vegan have someone for Finn? 1504 01:14:19,246 --> 01:14:21,748 I’m sorry. She was full of friends. 1505 01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:25,752 [exhales heavily] 1506 01:14:30,340 --> 01:14:31,341 All this time... 1507 01:14:32,426 --> 01:14:34,803 and neither of you said anything to me. 1508 01:14:38,682 --> 01:14:40,893 And I thought we were friends. 1509 01:14:43,437 --> 01:14:44,437 Oh, fuck. 1510 01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:46,190 You’re taking a train home. 1511 01:14:48,066 --> 01:14:50,194 Oh... Please, don't leave. 1512 01:14:50,694 --> 01:14:55,699 You guys, I'm sorry. Carol, I'm sorry! Gillian, wait! Don't leave! 1513 01:14:56,116 --> 01:14:59,578 [whimpering] Oh, that was bad!! 1514 01:15:36,448 --> 01:15:37,448 [sighs] 1515 01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:51,463 [chuckles] 1516 01:15:57,803 --> 01:15:59,054 [knock at door] 1517 01:15:59,137 --> 01:16:01,390 [Gillian] Open the door or I'm gonna start singing. 1518 01:16:02,224 --> 01:16:05,519 Do you need directions home? I can show you how to Waze. 1519 01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:08,522 I don't want the government tracking me. 1520 01:16:08,981 --> 01:16:11,483 - Would it kill you to answer your phone? - I've been working. 1521 01:16:12,067 --> 01:16:13,652 - On what? - My novel. 1522 01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,654 - [sighs] - I finally got inspired. 1523 01:16:15,737 --> 01:16:18,337 It’s about an overbearing mother. It’s called Baking and Entering. 1524 01:16:19,366 --> 01:16:21,201 Daniel, this is important. 1525 01:16:21,285 --> 01:16:23,203 Do you still have the ring? 1526 01:16:26,206 --> 01:16:27,206 What ring? 1527 01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:29,835 The one you were planning on giving Erin. 1528 01:16:31,128 --> 01:16:33,255 Honey, why didn't you say anything? 1529 01:16:33,714 --> 01:16:36,592 Well, you never liked her anyway, Ma. So, what's the difference? 1530 01:16:37,342 --> 01:16:41,221 Wha... Well, what do I know? I’m just some weird internet stalker. 1531 01:16:42,347 --> 01:16:43,557 And I was wrong. 1532 01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:46,160 I always wondered what it'd be like to hear you say those words. 1533 01:16:46,184 --> 01:16:48,478 And is it turns out, you were actually right. So... 1534 01:16:48,562 --> 01:16:49,562 No. 1535 01:16:50,105 --> 01:16:53,025 She's a lovely woman, and you're a lovely man. 1536 01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:56,278 So, if you have that ring, 1537 01:16:57,112 --> 01:16:59,364 and if she is the love of your life, 1538 01:16:59,948 --> 01:17:02,909 then do something before it is too late. 1539 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:07,623 Because for all you know, she might be packing her bags and leaving town... 1540 01:17:08,081 --> 01:17:09,082 or something. 1541 01:17:12,002 --> 01:17:14,421 I love you. You're a grown man. 1542 01:17:15,547 --> 01:17:18,759 I just hope you do what is best for your life and your future. 1543 01:17:18,842 --> 01:17:20,927 Did you see her somewhere or something? 1544 01:17:21,470 --> 01:17:23,430 - Ma, wait. - [door opens] 1545 01:17:23,847 --> 01:17:26,224 Mom, did you break in to her place, too? 1546 01:18:24,825 --> 01:18:26,785 Is there a reason you're following me? 1547 01:18:28,704 --> 01:18:31,104 - Paul said you wouldn’t listen to us. - [baby starts crying] 1548 01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:34,334 It's okay, honey. It's okay. 1549 01:18:36,128 --> 01:18:37,587 What is it that you want? 1550 01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:40,756 I... 1551 01:18:41,425 --> 01:18:43,635 I don't want... anything. 1552 01:18:43,719 --> 01:18:45,887 I'm not asking for anything. 1553 01:18:45,971 --> 01:18:48,473 I'm just saying what I am. 1554 01:18:50,225 --> 01:18:51,225 A grandmother. 1555 01:18:52,436 --> 01:18:54,062 She has grandmothers. 1556 01:18:59,234 --> 01:19:01,069 [stammers] I brought... 1557 01:19:01,153 --> 01:19:02,153 a few... 1558 01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:05,699 hundred gifts. 1559 01:19:08,410 --> 01:19:10,537 Look, we talked about this before the birth. 1560 01:19:10,662 --> 01:19:15,167 We adore Paul. We do, and we want Ella to know Paul. 1561 01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:18,503 We hope she gets some of his great qualities. That’s why we chose him. 1562 01:19:19,921 --> 01:19:21,047 But he's not the dad. 1563 01:19:21,256 --> 01:19:22,424 He's a sperm donor. 1564 01:19:22,507 --> 01:19:24,926 Okay, we all agreed. We signed papers. 1565 01:19:28,930 --> 01:19:29,930 But... 1566 01:19:30,807 --> 01:19:32,267 now that I have her... 1567 01:19:33,643 --> 01:19:35,562 and now that I know what it feels like... 1568 01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:39,191 when she has a baby, if... 1569 01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:41,568 she has a baby... 1570 01:19:42,527 --> 01:19:44,279 if I couldn’t see that baby... 1571 01:19:46,823 --> 01:19:49,576 I’d probably chase that baby all over the city, too. 1572 01:19:51,995 --> 01:19:53,121 [baby fusses] 1573 01:19:53,497 --> 01:19:55,665 Aww, it's okay, honey. 1574 01:20:02,172 --> 01:20:03,423 [Helen gasps] 1575 01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:06,676 She looks just like Paul did. 1576 01:20:10,764 --> 01:20:12,182 Would you like to hold her? 1577 01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:17,979 - Say hi. - Hi. 1578 01:20:19,439 --> 01:20:20,816 [Helen] Aww. 1579 01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:23,401 Hi. 1580 01:20:25,070 --> 01:20:27,322 - Hi. - That's a good girl. 1581 01:20:27,948 --> 01:20:29,950 I want to be a good grandmother. 1582 01:20:30,992 --> 01:20:32,160 Not a bad one. 1583 01:20:33,578 --> 01:20:34,913 [sighs] 1584 01:20:36,623 --> 01:20:39,501 Honey, five weeks is not late. 1585 01:20:39,584 --> 01:20:41,837 Five weeks is abandonment. 1586 01:20:42,212 --> 01:20:44,714 Sounds like she waited a long time for you. 1587 01:20:44,798 --> 01:20:46,508 All right, Ma. You know what? 1588 01:20:46,591 --> 01:20:49,719 You and Dad have, like, your perfect story, so, you wouldn't... 1589 01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:51,930 No. There is no perfect story. 1590 01:20:52,973 --> 01:20:54,099 In fact... 1591 01:20:56,393 --> 01:21:00,146 years ago, your father had an infidelity. 1592 01:21:09,447 --> 01:21:11,157 Before I was born or after? 1593 01:21:13,326 --> 01:21:15,453 You were 16. 1594 01:21:19,040 --> 01:21:20,375 How did you forgive him? 1595 01:21:23,253 --> 01:21:24,462 It wasn't easy. 1596 01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:28,466 I went crazy for a little while. I went on this... 1597 01:21:28,842 --> 01:21:31,887 facacta five-week egg diet. You remember? [laughs] 1598 01:21:31,970 --> 01:21:35,098 Yes, I do. You were, like, you wanted chickens or something. 1599 01:21:35,181 --> 01:21:36,558 - Yeah. - A chicken coop? 1600 01:21:37,142 --> 01:21:38,142 [Gillian] Ah! 1601 01:21:38,435 --> 01:21:40,604 But, I realized... 1602 01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:43,273 I still wanted your dad. 1603 01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:48,278 And I decided to do the harder thing instead. 1604 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:53,074 But I think what really... 1605 01:21:54,034 --> 01:21:56,536 made it possible for me to forgive him 1606 01:21:57,287 --> 01:21:58,287 was... 1607 01:21:58,622 --> 01:22:00,874 he never fully forgave himself. 1608 01:22:04,127 --> 01:22:05,629 Mom, I really admire you. 1609 01:22:07,047 --> 01:22:09,466 And I get why you're sharing this story with me. 1610 01:22:12,469 --> 01:22:14,429 I just don't think I'm built like that. 1611 01:22:15,388 --> 01:22:16,388 Hmm. 1612 01:22:17,515 --> 01:22:20,101 [sighs heavily] This is your life. 1613 01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:24,689 This big, bruised, bloody, beautiful thing. 1614 01:22:24,773 --> 01:22:27,734 This is your life. I'm not going to tell you what to do. 1615 01:22:27,859 --> 01:22:28,859 Since when? 1616 01:22:29,736 --> 01:22:30,737 Since today. 1617 01:22:31,321 --> 01:22:32,781 - Okay. - Daniel, hey. 1618 01:22:33,615 --> 01:22:37,202 You have been under the water for a long time. 1619 01:22:39,162 --> 01:22:40,455 But when you come up, 1620 01:22:41,831 --> 01:22:44,250 you need to decide what life you want. 1621 01:22:48,546 --> 01:22:49,546 You got this. 1622 01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:51,966 I love you. 1623 01:22:54,219 --> 01:22:55,219 Ma? 1624 01:22:56,554 --> 01:22:58,515 I think I'm locked out of my apartment. 1625 01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:00,320 [Gillian] Use the window. That's what I do. 1626 01:23:01,017 --> 01:23:02,017 I'm out! 1627 01:23:21,204 --> 01:23:22,622 [sighs] 1628 01:23:27,085 --> 01:23:28,920 - [exhales deeply] - [glasses bang on table] 1629 01:23:39,764 --> 01:23:40,765 [exhales] 1630 01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:01,577 [grunts] 1631 01:24:21,931 --> 01:24:22,766 Hi. 1632 01:24:22,849 --> 01:24:24,392 You're back. 1633 01:24:26,895 --> 01:24:28,146 [bags bang on floor] 1634 01:24:28,229 --> 01:24:30,023 [Frank] Oh, what's the matter, sweetheart? 1635 01:24:30,440 --> 01:24:32,150 You and Paul have a fight? 1636 01:24:32,734 --> 01:24:34,069 Oh, several. 1637 01:24:34,778 --> 01:24:36,946 And Gillian. And Carol. 1638 01:24:37,572 --> 01:24:39,491 We didn't even drive back together. 1639 01:24:40,492 --> 01:24:42,077 Everyone is... [sighs] 1640 01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:45,663 sick of me. And so am I. 1641 01:24:48,792 --> 01:24:50,835 Frank, why did you marry me? 1642 01:24:51,127 --> 01:24:52,128 [Frank chuckles] 1643 01:24:52,212 --> 01:24:55,673 Well, I think what everybody wonders is why you married me. 1644 01:24:56,132 --> 01:24:57,383 No, really. 1645 01:24:58,426 --> 01:24:59,426 Why? 1646 01:25:00,720 --> 01:25:01,763 You're kind. 1647 01:25:02,722 --> 01:25:04,933 And you're smart, you're funny as hell. 1648 01:25:05,683 --> 01:25:07,268 You have a lot of love to give. 1649 01:25:07,602 --> 01:25:10,146 - [softly] I do, right? - Yes. 1650 01:25:10,647 --> 01:25:13,858 And you’re opinionated and passionate. 1651 01:25:14,692 --> 01:25:18,363 And sometimes you have sharp edges and I like that. 1652 01:25:19,072 --> 01:25:20,365 You tell it like it is. 1653 01:25:22,033 --> 01:25:23,033 My... 1654 01:25:23,535 --> 01:25:24,535 looks? 1655 01:25:24,869 --> 01:25:27,413 Oh, you think I married you for your personality? 1656 01:25:27,497 --> 01:25:28,790 [Helen laughs] 1657 01:25:29,207 --> 01:25:31,417 - [chuckles] - You come in a very... 1658 01:25:31,918 --> 01:25:33,545 beautiful package. 1659 01:25:34,963 --> 01:25:37,757 But that’s not all there is to Helen Halston. 1660 01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:42,971 - I am so lucky. - Oh. 1661 01:25:43,471 --> 01:25:45,390 I'm so... 1662 01:25:47,225 --> 01:25:49,227 - [Helen moans] - [Frank chuckles] 1663 01:25:49,310 --> 01:25:50,603 Oh... Oh, really? 1664 01:25:50,687 --> 01:25:52,480 - Yes. We're doing it. - [Helen giggles] 1665 01:25:52,564 --> 01:25:54,566 [indistinct chatter] 1666 01:26:02,824 --> 01:26:03,825 Thanks for coming. 1667 01:26:04,325 --> 01:26:05,952 Your texts wore me down. 1668 01:26:07,871 --> 01:26:09,205 Did you bring a pen? 1669 01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:17,255 [doorbell rings] 1670 01:26:19,090 --> 01:26:20,192 - [gasps] - [delivery guy] Hey, Mrs. Walker. 1671 01:26:20,216 --> 01:26:21,216 More flowers. 1672 01:26:21,259 --> 01:26:24,387 Oh, it must be some mistake. I didn't order any flowers. 1673 01:26:24,596 --> 01:26:26,514 Oh, uh, there's a note with them. 1674 01:26:28,016 --> 01:26:31,477 - [Matt] Her favorite flower is an iris. - [chuckles, grunts] 1675 01:26:31,769 --> 01:26:33,021 Well, thank you, Shawn. 1676 01:26:33,229 --> 01:26:35,106 And I know that because she told me. 1677 01:26:35,481 --> 01:26:37,601 When she asked me for the ten things I know about her. 1678 01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:39,235 Then, you can't use it. 1679 01:26:39,861 --> 01:26:41,237 What? Yes, I can. It's a freebie. 1680 01:26:41,446 --> 01:26:43,781 If you can't think of ten things you know about your mother 1681 01:26:43,907 --> 01:26:46,618 without one of them being something that she flat-out told you, 1682 01:26:46,701 --> 01:26:49,245 - then you're a shitty son. - [chuckles] I'm not a shitty son. 1683 01:26:49,621 --> 01:26:52,165 Then think about why you love her and write it down. 1684 01:26:52,248 --> 01:26:53,374 [Matt sighs] 1685 01:26:54,792 --> 01:26:57,795 [Matt] I know she loved my father. And he wasn't that lovable. 1686 01:26:58,463 --> 01:27:00,006 He was always working. 1687 01:27:00,632 --> 01:27:03,176 Even when we played, it was work. 1688 01:27:04,719 --> 01:27:06,799 And my mom was the one who taught me how to have fun. 1689 01:27:07,722 --> 01:27:10,141 [chuckles] When I was a kid, she used to... [inhales] 1690 01:27:10,266 --> 01:27:12,685 read me these bedtime stories and... 1691 01:27:13,228 --> 01:27:15,521 she'd pretend there was one more page. 1692 01:27:18,107 --> 01:27:20,985 [chuckles] And we'd make up a new ending. 1693 01:27:26,032 --> 01:27:27,867 - Write that down. - Oh? Yeah. 1694 01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:31,162 Well, she did a lot of art when I was a kid. 1695 01:27:31,788 --> 01:27:33,414 Pen and ink note cards, 1696 01:27:33,498 --> 01:27:35,541 oil paintings from photographs. 1697 01:27:36,626 --> 01:27:38,461 This one time she did this... 1698 01:27:40,296 --> 01:27:41,673 great mural on my wall. 1699 01:27:45,802 --> 01:27:48,221 One: You loved my father. 1700 01:27:48,638 --> 01:27:49,973 [exhales] 1701 01:27:51,140 --> 01:27:53,977 Two: You taught me how to have fun. 1702 01:27:54,602 --> 01:27:55,770 [chuckles] 1703 01:27:56,479 --> 01:27:59,232 Three: You could have been an artist. 1704 01:28:00,191 --> 01:28:03,069 Number four, she thinks you're a good person. 1705 01:28:03,152 --> 01:28:04,195 [chuckles] 1706 01:28:04,529 --> 01:28:06,447 - No, she doesn't. - She told me. 1707 01:28:07,282 --> 01:28:09,617 She told you that she thinks that I'm good? 1708 01:28:10,910 --> 01:28:13,750 You can write she's the only person in the world who thinks you're good. 1709 01:28:15,999 --> 01:28:17,625 I never knew that she thought that. 1710 01:28:18,584 --> 01:28:22,672 Four: You're the only person in the world who thinks I'm good. 1711 01:28:24,007 --> 01:28:27,969 Five: You made me feel loved and safe. 1712 01:28:28,845 --> 01:28:33,558 Six: You cut up fruit for my snacks even when I begged for junk food. 1713 01:28:33,641 --> 01:28:34,809 [laughs] 1714 01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:39,063 [Matt] Seven: You still call me, even when I ignore you. 1715 01:28:40,148 --> 01:28:41,274 Thank you. 1716 01:28:42,483 --> 01:28:43,484 Eight: 1717 01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:46,279 The only times I've ever seen you angry 1718 01:28:46,404 --> 01:28:49,324 are times you deserved to be angrier. 1719 01:28:50,908 --> 01:28:51,908 Nine: 1720 01:28:52,744 --> 01:28:54,037 You love to dance. 1721 01:28:54,495 --> 01:28:56,456 - [chuckles] - [Matt] Ten: 1722 01:28:57,457 --> 01:28:58,541 You're my mother. 1723 01:29:00,001 --> 01:29:01,001 Eleven: 1724 01:29:01,878 --> 01:29:04,922 You taught me there is room in every story... 1725 01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:06,883 for a better ending. 1726 01:29:23,941 --> 01:29:24,941 Erin! 1727 01:29:27,028 --> 01:29:28,696 - [van engine starts] - Erin! 1728 01:29:30,156 --> 01:29:31,156 [shouts] Erin! 1729 01:29:33,326 --> 01:29:34,326 Erin! 1730 01:29:36,204 --> 01:29:37,204 Erin! 1731 01:29:39,874 --> 01:29:40,874 Erin! 1732 01:29:45,421 --> 01:29:46,756 [shouts] Erin! Wait up! 1733 01:29:50,885 --> 01:29:52,387 I really... [panting] I need to... 1734 01:29:52,970 --> 01:29:55,765 - get to the gym more often. - What are you doing? [chuckles] 1735 01:29:55,848 --> 01:29:58,434 - What are you doing? - I’m moving to LA. 1736 01:29:58,518 --> 01:30:00,353 Well... [breathing heavily] 1737 01:30:01,312 --> 01:30:03,564 - can I talk to you first? - About what? 1738 01:30:03,731 --> 01:30:04,607 About us. 1739 01:30:04,732 --> 01:30:08,361 Oh, my... [chuckles] It's too late, Daniel. My whole life is in this truck. 1740 01:30:09,529 --> 01:30:11,739 That’s funny. I was just thinking the same thing. 1741 01:30:13,741 --> 01:30:15,159 You’re not going to stop me. 1742 01:30:16,744 --> 01:30:17,744 Okay. 1743 01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:19,288 Okay. 1744 01:30:21,499 --> 01:30:23,084 Can we talk on the way? 1745 01:30:23,584 --> 01:30:25,420 - You don't have anything to do? - Please. 1746 01:30:25,503 --> 01:30:28,256 - You're gonna drive me to LA? - I'm coming to LA. 1747 01:30:28,339 --> 01:30:30,383 - I'm coming with you. - [cars honking] 1748 01:30:30,466 --> 01:30:32,135 Coming to LA... 1749 01:30:32,218 --> 01:30:34,095 - [Daniel shouts] I'm sorry. - Sorry! 1750 01:30:34,220 --> 01:30:36,222 - I'm sorry. - [cars continue honking] 1751 01:30:37,598 --> 01:30:38,641 I'm sorry, too. 1752 01:30:39,642 --> 01:30:40,935 [car honking] 1753 01:30:41,018 --> 01:30:42,778 [Erin] Do you know how to drive one of these? 1754 01:30:42,854 --> 01:30:44,355 [Daniel] I don't know what I'm doing. 1755 01:30:45,273 --> 01:30:47,400 [inspirational orchestral music] 1756 01:31:01,539 --> 01:31:03,458 - Hey, where you going? - [girl laughing] 1757 01:31:04,959 --> 01:31:06,878 I swear she looks like both of you. 1758 01:31:06,961 --> 01:31:08,856 To be honest, we think she looks like your mother. 1759 01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:11,466 - Uh, acts like it. - [ladies laugh] 1760 01:31:11,549 --> 01:31:13,926 - Oh, my goodness! - [Andre] Speak of the devil. 1761 01:31:14,010 --> 01:31:16,012 - Or angel, depending who you ask. - Who's that? 1762 01:31:16,095 --> 01:31:18,931 Oh, grandma loves Ella! 1763 01:31:19,015 --> 01:31:21,267 - [Paul] Look who it is! - [Ella] Grandma! 1764 01:31:21,851 --> 01:31:23,060 [Helen] And you. 1765 01:31:23,144 --> 01:31:25,104 - And you. And you, - Hi. 1766 01:31:25,521 --> 01:31:27,148 [kiss] And you! 1767 01:31:27,231 --> 01:31:28,274 [Gillian and Erin chuckle] 1768 01:31:28,357 --> 01:31:31,694 [Gillian] Well, this is kind of a complicated garment, isn't it? 1769 01:31:31,777 --> 01:31:33,797 [Daniel] My mother's at her son's semi Jewish wedding 1770 01:31:33,821 --> 01:31:35,740 - and she's still complaining. - [Erin] Okay. 1771 01:31:35,823 --> 01:31:37,843 You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding. 1772 01:31:37,867 --> 01:31:41,162 I know, but we broke a few rules already. I think we can break one more. 1773 01:31:41,704 --> 01:31:43,873 - Well, he's got a point. We can. - [Gillian laughs] 1774 01:31:47,793 --> 01:31:49,086 Ahh! 1775 01:31:53,090 --> 01:31:54,091 Thanks, Ma. 1776 01:31:55,301 --> 01:31:56,301 For everything. 1777 01:32:04,101 --> 01:32:05,311 No one's going to notice. 1778 01:32:05,561 --> 01:32:06,729 [both chuckle] 1779 01:32:07,313 --> 01:32:09,273 There's just one little thing, though. 1780 01:32:09,607 --> 01:32:11,901 Uh... it's too late for a thing. 1781 01:32:12,109 --> 01:32:15,196 I know. I know, but this is a really important thing. 1782 01:32:16,072 --> 01:32:17,865 I think we should rehearse the kiss again. 1783 01:32:17,949 --> 01:32:19,951 - [Erin laughs] - [Daniel chuckles] 1784 01:32:20,409 --> 01:32:22,411 [indistinct party chatter] 1785 01:32:33,047 --> 01:32:35,883 I'm still so angry I can barely stand to look at you. 1786 01:32:36,467 --> 01:32:38,344 I know. Thank you for the invitation. 1787 01:32:38,427 --> 01:32:40,638 I invited Frank. You’re his plus one. 1788 01:32:41,138 --> 01:32:43,116 - Did you get my messages? - Yeah, about 20 of them. 1789 01:32:43,140 --> 01:32:46,602 - Did you get my texts? - Uh-huh. "Stop calling me." 1790 01:32:47,520 --> 01:32:48,520 You know... 1791 01:32:49,146 --> 01:32:52,483 I am kind of responsible for this whole wedding, 1792 01:32:52,567 --> 01:32:54,735 I mean, if we hadn’t gone to New York... 1793 01:32:54,819 --> 01:32:55,695 [Gillian chuckles] 1794 01:32:55,778 --> 01:32:58,030 So, now, we’re considering that trip a success? 1795 01:32:58,114 --> 01:33:00,199 Well, look at where we are. 1796 01:33:00,283 --> 01:33:02,368 And Carol's in Italy. 1797 01:33:02,577 --> 01:33:04,579 She didn’t even RSVP. 1798 01:33:04,704 --> 01:33:07,665 She’s probably too busy painting, eating pizza, 1799 01:33:07,748 --> 01:33:10,251 - taking Italian lovers. - [laughs] Oh! 1800 01:33:10,334 --> 01:33:13,296 I’m sure she’s miserable since she sold that house. 1801 01:33:13,379 --> 01:33:14,380 [Gillian] Hmm. 1802 01:33:16,132 --> 01:33:17,592 [car honks] 1803 01:33:18,426 --> 01:33:20,177 Don’t start the wedding without us! 1804 01:33:20,261 --> 01:33:21,637 - [both gasp] - [Gillian squeals] 1805 01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:25,683 I knew she would come! I missed her so much more than I missed you. 1806 01:33:25,766 --> 01:33:27,101 Same here. Only double. 1807 01:33:27,602 --> 01:33:29,312 Oh, it’s just his date. 1808 01:33:30,062 --> 01:33:32,940 She’s too old to be his date. She’s, like, his age. 1809 01:33:35,651 --> 01:33:37,778 - [Helen gasps] - [Gillian screams] 1810 01:33:37,862 --> 01:33:39,196 [Helen screams] Oh, my God! 1811 01:33:39,655 --> 01:33:42,366 - Oh, my God! - [both screaming] 1812 01:33:43,034 --> 01:33:44,034 [Gillian] Yes! 1813 01:33:45,745 --> 01:33:46,912 [Helen] Oh! 1814 01:33:48,664 --> 01:33:50,416 I heard there was cake. 1815 01:33:50,499 --> 01:33:52,209 You don’t call, you don’t write. 1816 01:33:52,376 --> 01:33:54,962 - Oh, we missed you so much! - Oh... 1817 01:33:55,254 --> 01:33:57,423 You look so glamorous. 1818 01:33:57,506 --> 01:33:58,966 [laughs] 1819 01:33:59,675 --> 01:34:02,345 By the way, I brought Bourbon. 1820 01:34:02,428 --> 01:34:04,388 - [Carol] Oh. - [Gillian] Oh, no! 1821 01:34:04,472 --> 01:34:07,183 - Not again. - [Carol] Of course she did. 1822 01:34:07,683 --> 01:34:09,685 ["Just Our Style" playing] 1823 01:34:09,769 --> 01:34:11,854 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1824 01:34:12,897 --> 01:34:15,316 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1825 01:34:16,442 --> 01:34:18,861 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1826 01:34:20,029 --> 01:34:21,989 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1827 01:34:22,073 --> 01:34:25,618 ♪ Heartbeat, rewind Turned up, amplified ♪ 1828 01:34:25,701 --> 01:34:27,953 ♪ We can do it how we like ♪ 1829 01:34:28,412 --> 01:34:31,082 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Bang bang, young drunk ♪ 1830 01:34:31,165 --> 01:34:35,002 ♪ Cheap thrills, big love Do what makes us feel alive ♪ 1831 01:34:35,461 --> 01:34:36,461 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1832 01:34:36,504 --> 01:34:39,840 ♪ Everybody now here we go Oh, oh, hey ♪ 1833 01:34:39,924 --> 01:34:42,677 ♪ Everybody now here we go Oh, oh ♪ 1834 01:34:42,802 --> 01:34:45,721 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1835 01:34:45,805 --> 01:34:49,600 ♪ Like a super sonic boom Love the way we're coming through ♪ 1836 01:34:49,684 --> 01:34:52,853 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1837 01:34:52,937 --> 01:34:56,482 ♪ And we're shooting for the sky Living young and running wild ♪ 1838 01:34:56,565 --> 01:34:59,318 ♪ That's just our style Whoa, oh ♪ 1839 01:35:00,111 --> 01:35:01,445 ♪ Whoa, oh Hey ♪ 1840 01:35:01,529 --> 01:35:04,990 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh That's just our style ♪ 1841 01:35:05,074 --> 01:35:06,492 ♪ Whoa, oh ♪ 1842 01:35:07,118 --> 01:35:08,619 ♪ Whoa, oh Hey ♪ 1843 01:35:08,703 --> 01:35:13,082 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh That's just our style ♪ 1844 01:35:13,165 --> 01:35:15,584 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1845 01:35:16,836 --> 01:35:19,088 ♪ Hey, ah huh, ah huh ♪ 1846 01:35:19,171 --> 01:35:22,591 ♪ Black west, sparks fly Light the fuse, electrify ♪ 1847 01:35:22,675 --> 01:35:26,137 ♪ We can do it how we like Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1848 01:35:26,220 --> 01:35:29,765 ♪ Everybody now here we go Oh, oh, hey ♪ 1849 01:35:29,849 --> 01:35:32,435 ♪ Everybody now here we go Oh, oh ♪ 1850 01:35:32,518 --> 01:35:35,521 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1851 01:35:35,604 --> 01:35:39,358 ♪ Like a super sonic boom Love the way we're coming through ♪ 1852 01:35:39,442 --> 01:35:42,778 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1853 01:35:42,862 --> 01:35:46,157 ♪ And we're shooting for the sky We'll be young and running wild ♪ 1854 01:35:46,240 --> 01:35:49,076 ♪ That's just our style Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1855 01:35:49,785 --> 01:35:53,164 ♪ Whoa, oh, hey Whoa, oh, oh ♪ 1856 01:35:53,372 --> 01:35:56,208 ♪ That's just our style Whoa, oh ♪ 1857 01:35:56,667 --> 01:35:58,127 ♪ Whoa, oh, hey ♪ 1858 01:35:58,711 --> 01:36:02,214 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh That's just our style ♪ 1859 01:36:02,298 --> 01:36:05,342 ♪ Whoa, oh Whoa, oh, hey ♪ 1860 01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:10,014 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh That's just our style ♪ 1861 01:36:11,474 --> 01:36:14,101 ["These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" starts playing] 1862 01:36:14,226 --> 01:36:15,853 [cheering and laughing] 1863 01:36:21,484 --> 01:36:23,152 [women start singing] 1864 01:36:23,235 --> 01:36:26,655 ♪ You keep saying You got something for me ♪ 1865 01:36:28,616 --> 01:36:32,286 ♪ Something you call love But confess ♪ 1866 01:36:33,496 --> 01:36:37,416 ♪ Well, you've been a'messin' where you shouldn't've been a'messin' ♪ 1867 01:36:37,917 --> 01:36:39,084 [Carol] You're driving. 1868 01:36:39,168 --> 01:36:43,088 ♪ And now someone else Is getting all your best ♪ 1869 01:36:44,465 --> 01:36:47,092 ♪ These boots are made for walking ♪ 1870 01:36:47,426 --> 01:36:49,929 ♪ And that's just what they'll do ♪ 1871 01:36:50,221 --> 01:36:55,226 ♪ And one of these days these boots Are gonna walk all over you ♪ 1872 01:36:56,268 --> 01:36:57,770 [women scream] 1873 01:37:05,277 --> 01:37:08,823 ♪ You keep lyin' When you oughta be truthin' ♪ 1874 01:37:08,906 --> 01:37:10,074 [Carol screams] 1875 01:37:10,866 --> 01:37:14,245 ♪ You keep losin' When you oughta not bet ♪ 1876 01:37:16,288 --> 01:37:20,459 ♪ You keep samin' When you oughta be a'changin' ♪ 1877 01:37:21,377 --> 01:37:25,297 ♪ Now what's right is right But you ain't been right yet ♪ 1878 01:37:25,381 --> 01:37:26,382 [Carol] All right. 1879 01:37:26,715 --> 01:37:31,387 ♪ These boots are made for walking And that's just what they'll do ♪ 1880 01:37:31,470 --> 01:37:32,763 [Carol] I love to dance. 1881 01:37:32,847 --> 01:37:38,143 ♪ One of these days these boots Are gonna walk all over you ♪ 1882 01:37:38,894 --> 01:37:41,605 [all women ooh and ahh] 1883 01:37:44,608 --> 01:37:46,193 [Carol] Get out the car! 1884 01:37:47,778 --> 01:37:51,699 ♪ You keep playing Where you shouldn't be playing ♪ 1885 01:37:52,825 --> 01:37:56,829 ♪ And you keep thinking That you'll never get burnt ♪ 1886 01:37:58,455 --> 01:38:02,626 ♪ I just found me A brand new box of matches ♪ 1887 01:38:03,961 --> 01:38:07,756 ♪ And what he knows You ain't had time to learn ♪ 1888 01:38:09,008 --> 01:38:11,802 ♪ These boots are made for walking ♪ 1889 01:38:12,136 --> 01:38:14,638 ♪ And that's just what they'll do ♪ 1890 01:38:14,972 --> 01:38:19,935 ♪ One of these days these boots Are gonna walk all over you ♪ 1891 01:38:21,478 --> 01:38:24,815 ♪ Are you ready, boots? Start walkin' ♪ 1892 01:38:25,941 --> 01:38:28,402 ♪ A'walkin' ♪ 1893 01:38:40,915 --> 01:38:43,167 [everybody cheering] 146811

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.