All language subtitles for Hustle.S04E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10

- Yes, sir?

- 500 on Captain Ben to win.

- Monkey on
Captain Ben at nine to four.

- Thank you, Harry, five grand
to win, Mr. Sin in the next.

- Some time it
takes, she'll be all done.

- And it's Captain
Ben a neck up on Mr. Sin

with Blundering Blue and
Open Water tucked in behind

as they pass the two furlong pole.

It's Captain Ben trying to
stretch his lead on Mr. Sin

with Blundering Blue still in contention,

Open Water falls away.

They hit the furlong marker.

Captain Ben bursting
clear onto Sean O'Regan,

and at the post, it's Captain
Ben two lengths too good,

followed by Mr. Sin in second

and Blundering Blue back in third.

- Thank you very much.

- Are you coming?

- She put up a great fight.

- Could have done with
a rocket up its arse.

You have one of the runners?

- I am in the syndicate that owns Ben.

- Have a few quid on, did ya?

- Ah, yes, yes.

No hard feelings?

- Na, don't worry, I'll be up
there with you big boys soon.

- I look forward to the competition.

- Tell you what,

why don't you join me
in the hospitality tent

for a bottle of shampoo, eh?

Maybe I could pick your brains.

- I'd be delighted.

David Tyler.

- Dickie Brennan.

Girls!

Take Davey boy to the
tent, give him a drink.

- Richard Brennan. Runs a
video production company,

specializes in the adult market.

- Are we talking porn, Albert?

- I believe that's the term used, yes.

Not a very nice gentleman,
by all accounts.

- What's going on?

- Albert's found a mark.

- Whoa, forgotten something?

- What?

- Not what, who.

You can't start without your leader.

- All right, all right.

Albert's talking us through the mark.

- Yeah, I don't want anyone

talking anyone else through anything

unless I'm here to talk
it through with everyone

about everything, all right?

Not anyone, okay?

Is that clear?

- I think so.

- Albert, talk us through the mark.

You could have waited a minute.

- Oh, I think we did just fine.

- Children, please!

Richard Brennan, Dickie to his friends.

He made his millions
in the adult industry,

starting with seedy sex
stores and strip clubs.

Then he moved onto the adult film market.

- Yeah, I think I've seen his work, yeah.

- Why doesn't that surprise me?

- So, how do we get to him then?

- He has a passion for racehorses.

He has three horses in training,

but he's yet to win his first race,

and I think he'll pay whatever
it takes to make that happen.

- Then we'd
better not disappoint him.

- So, now all we need is a plan.

- A plan, yeah, okay, yeah, a plan.

Okay, here we go, here it comes.

Here we go, the old, the
old plan, listen up, gang.

Right, well, what have we
got, what have we got here?

I'll tell you what we got, we got a horse

and we've got porn.

Okay.

Stacie.

- No.

- No what?

- I'm not doing it.

- I ain't said anything yet!

- I know what you're going
to say, and the answer is no.

- All right, clever clogs,
what was I gonna say?

- That I get close to the mark

by masquerading as a porn star.

- No.

- Liar.

- All right, I admit I did
think of that first, yeah,

but then I come up with
a much, much better plan.

- Which is?

- Uh, ready?

We sell him a horse.

- Yeah, go on.

- Well, what?

The rest is just details, innit?

- Well, it's not much of a plan, is it?

- Okay, we set up a big
store, Moody Stables,

we'll play him with a ringer,

he won't even know he's been had.

Albert, you reel him in.

Tell him a tale about a young horse,

classic winner in the making.

Stacie, you find me a
horse that looks the part.

Ash, you work the inside
with me as an owner.

Find a racing yard we can
use, dodgy kettles, the lot.

If you need anything
else, I'll be at Eddie's.

We're a man short and I'm
holding interviews, all morning.

- We don't need anybody else!

- Yes, we do.

Five's the magic number.

A roper, two inside
men, a lure and a fixer.

- What happens when Mickey gets back?

- Who says he will?

- Oh, don't be silly!

Albie?

- Danny's call.

- Thank you, Albert.

- Danny, Mickey's only
been gone a few weeks.

- Was I or was I not elected leader?

- Yeah, but...
- Then unless I'm

very much mistaken, which I'm not,

like Albert says, it's my call,

and I say we need someone else.

Now, Eddie has put the word out,

got grifters from all over London.

- Yep, the first should
be here any minute.

- And you used my very
strict screening process,

you know, weed out the no-hopers?

The wheat from the chaff.

- Just like you said, Danny.

- Bingo.

Now, if you'll excuse me, kids.

- I'm not sure if I like
the new mature Danny.

- Ah, it won't last.

- Well, running your own
crew is a big responsibility,

good to see him taking it seriously.

- Hello, are you Hannah?

- Yes.

- Mr. Blue.

- That's not.

- I think it is.

- Okay, right, a few questions.

Have you got a boyfriend at the moment?

Have you ever worked the wire?

Hmm, a no there.

What about the rag?

Shake of the head.

The Pigeon drop even?

What about the Jamaican switch?

No, guess that's a no.

We're looking at playing, who knows,

the Spanish Prisoner with a twist.

- How many is that now?

- Oh, 11 brunettes, nine
blondes, one redhead.

- So, Eddie, what exactly
was this screening process?

- Well, he said they had to be

A, a bird and B, well fit.

- Lovely, lovely pair of diamonds.

- And I called him mature?

- But they had to be
grifters though, right?

- Well, yeah, but he said he'd be willing

to train the right person as long

as they were A, a bird and...

- And B, well fit?

- You got it.

- Shit, shit!

What the bloody hell was that?

I could have run it quicker meself.

Now, get her back out there
and use the whip on her

or I'll use it on you!

- Something wrong, Dickie?

- Oh, you haven't got a
decent jockey you can spare,

have you, Davey boy?

- You got a problem?

- This lot are a bunch of fairies.

They think more of the horse's feelings

than they do the money
I'm plowing into 'em!

- Well, it's an expensive hobby.

- Yeah, well, a lot of people
did a lot of disgusting things

to pay for these nags,

the least they can do is
pull their finger out.

- I couldn't agree with you more.

- I mean, your lot had the right idea.

- My lot?

- Spurs, like the Old West.

That'd liven 'em up a bit!

- Well, it's a novel idea.

I doubt if the Jockey
Club would agree with you.

- Stuff them!

Anyway, what you doing here?

Sniffing out the competition, are ya?

- No, no.

No, I was just passing by,
I thought I'd buy you lunch.

- Ah, top man.

Give me five minutes,

I'll just scrape the
horse shit off me boots.

- Right.

- Hello, Archie.

- Bloody hell!

- Well, I've had better welcomes.

Bombay Sapphire and slim-line
tonic on the rocks, please.

Twist of lemon.

- Half a lager for the lady.

- You know, Archie, if
I didn't know better,

I'd say that you weren't
very pleased to see me.

- I get nervous around grifters.

You're too tricky for my liking.

And every time I see
ya, you want something.

- How can you say that?

- So, you don't want anything?

- No!

Well, maybe just one small thing.

A horse.

Cheers.

- Good job, Freddie, just
make sure you hug that rail.

- Mr. Harrington?

Nigel Marsh, Department
of Food and Rural Affairs.

- What can I do for you?

- Do you, do you keep chickens here, sir?

- There's a few at the main house, why?

- You've heard of the Avian
influenza pandemic, sir?

- Yes, of course.

- We, um, we found this
bird adjacent to your land.

Early tests show it might
have traces of the AH5 strain,

which as you may know,

when partnered with any one of nine

neuraminidase surface
proteins produces sub-types

including H5N1, two, three and nine.

- I don't understand.

- To put it simply, sir,

there is a chance you may be infected.

We'll have to close down operations here

while we carry out some tests.

- I'm getting droppings
from several species.

- Now hang on, this is a racing yard.

I can't just shut down.

- You can either comply
with the order, sir,

or I can get the police to
remove you and your staff

with the inevitable unfavorable
publicity that will incur.

- So, this syndicate you belong to,

how many horses do you own?

- Well, about 30 here in the UK,

and about another dozen in the States.

All of which I'd swap tomorrow

to get the horse I came here to buy.

- Oh?

- She's a veritable flying machine.

She's running six furlongs

in just a little under a minute, 12.

- Well, that's quick.

- Quick enough to win a classic.

- Don't suppose I could have a butcher's?

I mean, just to give me some idea

of what I should be looking for.

- Well, I doubt if my business partners

would appreciate me bringing
another owner along.

- Then don't tell 'em!

And I'll pick up the tab for the lunch.

- Hmm, well, I suppose there's no harm

in just letting you see her.

- Ah!

Lovely.

- Yes, mate?

- Oh, lager, please.

- You got any ID?

- 2.60.

- So, you're the world-famous Eddie then?

- Eh?

- Well, Eddie's Bar.

- Oh, right.

- Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.

- Yeah?

- You're the one who gets

all the grifters in here, aren't ya?

- You know about grifters?

- When everyone was
playing computer games,

I was reading about Frank
Abagnale and Count Lustig.

- Oh, right.

- Yeah, I heard you're,
you're like the main man,

virtually a grifter yourself.

- Well, yeah, but keep it to
yourself, you know what I mean?

- Hey, 'course, man.

I'm cool.

Yeah, they even say like,

you're the brains behind
most of the big cons.

- Well, I wouldn't say the brains exactly.

No, I'm more of a consultant, you know.

Pointing them in the right direction.

You ever seen Charlie's Angels?

- Yeah.

I got ya, I got ya.

You must have had 'em all through here,

Stacie Monroe, Mickey Bricks.

- Three Socks Morgan.

- Yeah?
- Albert Stroller.

- You're winding me up.

- No, they all come in here, mate.

- Danny Blue?

- Danny?

We're like that, mate.

- No way.

- Yes, way.

- So, where is he now?

- So, where are we?

- I've arranged to meet
him this afternoon.

- We got a horse?

- I went to meet Archie, he's
going to meet us at the yard

and bring a horse with him.

- The yard's sorted, we've
got it till six o'clock.

- Great, okay.

Now, Ash's got us a dodgy
stopwatch from Second-Hand Sid.

- It loses seven seconds a minute.

- Okay, show him the horse this afternoon.

Get him all excited and then
bosh, hit him where it hurts.

Are we expecting anyone?

- No.

- Danny Blue.

- Never heard of him.

- I'm Billy, Billy Bond.

All I want is five minutes
of your time, yeah?

- For what?

- I'm the best short con player in London.

I heard you was looking for new blood.

I've studied all the old
time grifters, Charlie Ponzi,

Yellow Kid Weil, Limehouse
Chappie, the High Ass kid.

I know you're working on
a long con and I can help.

All I need is a chance to
show you what I can do.

I'm a work of art, a force of nature.

I make a cripple walk, a penguin fly,

separate a mark from his money
quicker than any man alive.

I'm the best of the best the
rest ain't worth talking about.

And you're Danny Blue,

the only man who can teach me anything.

I just want one shot, yeah?

One more crack at the
title, one more round.

Ring that bell and I'll be
off my stool, tearing it up.

Just tell the world I'm
coming, ready or not.

Billy the Kid is in the house.

- Yeah, sweet, brother, sweet.

That it?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Who was that?

- Some nutter.

- What'd he want?

- No idea, something
about making penguins fly

and playing hide and seek, I don't know.

- Well, why did he come here then?

- Oh, nutters follow
Danny wherever he goes.

- No, he heard we were recruiting,

but he must have slipped
through Eddie's net

by the look of him.

- Yeah, but you could at
least give him an interview.

- No chance.

Looked like a tea leaf, trying his luck.

Little git.

- I'm smarter than your average bear.

I'm the Lone Ranger's horse, I'm Tonto.

I'm a double-shot espresso.

I'm a baby grifter waiting to be born,

here to suck on the
nipples of your wisdom.

- Oh, he seemed really sweet.

- Sweet?

He nicked me bleeding wallet.

- Yeah, well he gave it you back.

- You know, to find this place,

take your wallet and hand it back,

maybe he's as good as he says he is.

- And you did say we needed somebody.

- Yes, except he don't fit
the very strict criteria,

on account of A, he ain't a
bird and B, he ain't well fit.

- Oh, come on, Danny,
give the kid a chance.

- You know it wasn't so long ago,

that you were knocking on that door.

- Yeah, well that was different.

- Why?

- 'Cause that was me, wasn't it?

- Right, come on, people,
let's get a move on.

Danny, what's the time?

- The thieving little.

Yeah, he's got some
front, I'll give him that.

- Yeah, just not the kind of
front you're looking for, eh?

- Can we stick to the
schedule, people, please, eh?

- Yeah, Danny, stick to the schedule.

- Knocking on my door,
dipping me on my own doorstep.

- Well, he certainly
got your attention.

- Yeah, it was lucky

he didn't get my bleeding
boot up his jacksey.

- Hey, my colleague's just had to go home,

his wife's just fallen off a treadmill,

so I'll be taking your lesson.

Right, start your engine,
check your mirrors,

indicate, pull away and follow that car.

What's happening?

- So, can he run?

- If you mean could he win a race,

yes, but only if none of
the other horses turned up.

- Well, he certainly looks the part.

- Oh, she's a fine-looking animal,

pity she's got four left feet.

- Is following
cars part of the test?

- Absolutely.

Yeah, it's all part of
the new DVLA initiative.

Gets you ready for traffic jams.

Stop here, please.

Okay, you wait here

and read through your traffic signs, okay?

- How much?

- A grand.

A grand for a horse with four left feet!

- Miss Monroe said it had
to look like a racehorse,

not actually be able to run.

- I think I also mentioned
the word cheap, Archie.

- 500.

- I'm even lending you a jockey!

- Six.

- 950.

- Seven.

- 900 and we shake hands.

- 750, shake whatever you like.

- Ash, you shake the man's
hand, Stacie you can pay him.

- You all right, mate?

- Who are you?

- I'm a friend of Danny's.

- Oh.

- Yeah, what's the score?

- Eh?

- The plan, what's going on?

- You'd better ask Danny.

- Yeah, right.

- Right, Dickie's
due in 10 minutes.

We all set?

- Ready as we'll ever be.

- Gawd, it's like a bloody ghost town.

- Well, I did say we should
get some other people.

- Where's the jockey?

- Archie sent him to get changed.

- Yeah, well,
he'd better hurry up.

- Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

- Hello, David.

- Ah, Paul, this is my
friend, Richard Brennan.

Dickie, Paul Marchant.

- How do you do?

- Lovely to meet you Richard.

This is my assistant, Caroline.

- Great to meet you.

- I asked Dickie along to see my new baby.

- Well, strictly speaking
she's not yours yet,

but he's very welcome all the same.

- Oh, we'll be ready
to go any minute, sir.

- Splendid, Nick O'Leary,
my trainer, top class.

Nick, this is David Tyler,
he's from the syndicate

that's buying Cindy's Fortune.

- Very lucky man, sir,
she's a great horse.

- Well, thank you, I think so too.

- Righto, Nick.

Let's have a look.

Ah, here she comes.

We're running her over six furlongs.

- All right now, that's
right, up to the start!

No, no, no, no, this way, this way!

All right, now, stay tight.

Open up for the last three,
we'll see what you got in there.

- David.

- Ah, Richard, would you like to time her?

- Oh, sure, yeah.

- All right now, let's be having you!

- You've got a black jockey.

- It appears so, yes.

- Doesn't look that quick, does she?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It can be a bit deceptive from up here.

- Right now, fingers on the clock.

Here she comes now.

Time!
- Woo!

- How was it?

- 1.09.

- Excellent.

- She's getting better.

- Oh, maybe we should put the price up.

- I don't think she wants to stop.

- Shit!

- Yeah, he'll be taking
her to the top field.

I'll go and check.

- Well, David, it looks like

we've got a classic winner there.

- I think we ought
to sign those contracts fast.

- Look, maybe you should
give me your number,

we could do something together.

- Yes, sure.

- I'll be in touch.

- I look forward to it.

- Thanks again, Paul,
see you in the morning,

nine o'clock sharp.

- Don't forget your checkbook.

- Right!

- I can't find the bloody thing.

- Sorry, lads, Sammy had a bit of a knock.

He's all right now though.

- Where's me horse?

- Steady, steady.

Hey, that's my horse!

You!

No, no way.

Over my dead body.

- He learned where we
drink, where we live,

he dipped your watch and your wallet,

and he found us while
giving a driving lesson.

- And he gate-crashed a con.

- Exactly.

- It worked out
all right, didn't it?

- Only just.

He's a kid and he'll
be a flaming liability.

- I say we give him a chance.

- Well, what about Imogen?

- Imogen's an airhead.

- Oh, you jealous, Stace?

- Of what?

- Look, Imogen'll be great, okay?

She's potential bunny-boiler
material, granted,

but you know, I like that in a bird.

I mean it gives things a
bit of an edge, you know.

- Can we just keep to the
matter in hand, please?

- I vote we give him a chance.

- I think Stacie's right.

Albert, what do you think?

- Well, he's young, he's bright,

he seems to have balls of steel.

But Danny is the leader
and what he says goes.

- Even if it's Imogen?

- A good crew needs a strong leader.

- And I say he's out.

- Here we go.

Paul Marchant speaking.

Richard!

Of course, I remember you.

Yes, I know it.

8:30?

I'll see you there.

We've got a bite.

- Paul!

♪ Keep that music ♪

- Good to see you, mate.

This is Suki and this is Petra.

Say hello to Mr. Marchant, girls.

- Hello.

- Sit down, sit down.

- Thank you.

- Let me get you a drink.

♪ Down ♪

♪ And down ♪

- Thank you, this is very nice.

- I bet you're wondering
what you're doing here?

- Well, yes.

- Do I look like a Billy
bullshitter to you, Paul, do I?

Hmm, hmm?

- No.

- That's because I'm not,

so let's not spend the whole
night fannying around, eh?

I want to buy that horse of yours.

- Cindy's Fortune?

Well, David's already made an offer.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you haven't signed a
contract yet, have you, hmm?

- No, I haven't, no, but we
have a gentleman's agreement.

- Bollocks.

How much has he offered you?

- Well, I'm not sure I could say.

- Force yourself.

- Oh, 50?

60 quid?

♪ No more sporting and
backing and forthing ♪

- 75.

- Ooh!

I'll give you a hundred, cash.

- Cash?

- You got an aversion to that, have you?

- Well, no, no, it's,
it's just not very usual.

- Usual smooshual.

I'll give you 100K cash in your bin.

What do ya say?

- No, no, no I couldn't possibly.

- See, girls, see, I knew
you was gonna say that,

what with you being a gentleman.

Your word is your bond, am I right?

- Absolutely.

- That's why I brought the girls.

You see, I'm gonna fill you
full of booze, a nice cigar.

Then the girls, they're
gonna take you upstairs

and they're gonna help you forget

about all of your morals and then,

you're gonna sell me that horse.

- Ash, Ash, Ash!

How do you get on, mate?

- Okay, okay, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, okay, yeah.

- So, how much did he go for?

- 100K.

- Good lad!

- Woo!
- Huzzah!

Well, tell us then, what happened?

- Well, I met him at the hotel.

Well, he offered to buy the
horse like we knew he would.

- But how did you reach a price?

- I was gonna go for 50,
but then he guessed 60,

so I said 75 and he offered 100.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, genius.

- You didn't rush it though?

You held out for a while?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Oh, it must have been hard.

- Very.

- So, the deal is done?

- Signed, sealed and delivered.

I'm meeting at his yard tomorrow.

- Well, done.

- Fantastic, man, fantastic.

- Tomorrow we take his money.

- Yeah, well, you know guys,
I was only doing me job.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I will be when
me head stops thumping.

- All in a good cause.

- Pauly boy!

How you doing?

- Ooh, little fragile, old chap.

- The girls send their love.

- Ah!

- Hmm, hmm?

- Hello.

- Here as promised, Cindy's Fortune.

- Brilliant.

Hang about and I'll
just get you your dough.

- Girls?

- Oh, some people we met in the bar.

- Oh, all right.

- Heh, what's this?

- 10 grand.

- 10?

- Like we agreed.

I thought we agreed 100.

- Oh dear.

Don't tell me you didn't read the contract

before you signed it, Paul?

- Well, I...

- See, not being a Muppet,

I thought I might need a bit of insurance.

So, the contract was for 10,000 deposit,

the other 90,000 when
she wins her first race.

Still, a flying machine like she is,

shouldn't be too long, should it?

I've got her booked into a lovely

little six furlong on Saturday.

She'll walk it.

- Didn't you check it?

- I thought I did.

I saw the hundred grand written down,

I thought it was kosher.

- It's not Ash's fault.

We thought we were pulling the fast one,

not the other way around.

- We're 10,000 up.

- Not exactly.

We bought the horse.

With other expenses that
brings it down to about eight.

Right, look, we're eight grand up,

I mean, there's no harm done.

- No, all right, no.

We ain't giving up.

Look, there's a thousand ordinary
grifters out there, okay,

who'd walk away happy
with eight grand, okay?

But we're supposed to be the best.

I mean, that's why kids like
Billy Bond came to find us,

that's why I came to find Mickey.

So, no crew of mine will ever walk away

knowing a mark has got the better of us.

- Danny, there's nothing else we can do.

- Yes, there is.

- Such as?

- We make sure that
horse wins on Saturday.

- It's not funny, Archie!

- Oh, yes, it is!

That horse couldn't win
an egg and spoon race,

let alone a sprint.

- There must be a way.

- Well, you could fix the race.

- Okay, yes, I'm listening.

- How many runners?

- Six.

- Okay, here's what you do.

Get into the parade ring before the race.

Make sure no one is looking,

then tie all the other
horses' legs together.

That way she might come
in the first three!

- Come on, Archie, help
us out here, will ya?

- Archie, we'll make it worth your while.

- Okay.

There's only one way I can think of.

- This better not be another wind-up!

- No, but it hasn't been done for years.

- What?

- Horse painting.

- Of course.

- Eh, how does painting the bleeding thing

make it go faster?

- No, no, no.

You find a horse the same
size, age and shape, but fast,

and then you change its coloring

to make it look like Cindy's Fortune.

- That's the only way.

- And you can do it?

- I could, but where are you
going to find the right horse?

- Eh?

- Where the hell did you find it?

- Well, we sort of borrowed it.

- They're exactly the same size.

- So, can you do this, Archie?

- Sure.

If the race is small enough,
no one'll be looking.

And your man who bought
the other one is no expert.

- So, we paint this one
to look like this one

and then we switch them
before the race, yeah?

- Exactly.

No one'll spot the
difference, I guarantee it.

- All right, when can
you have her ready by?

- Gold or silver service?

- Silver.

- A week next Thursday.

- Gold.

- Tomorrow morning.

- How much?
- Five grand.

- Five grand!

For slopping a bit of
bloody paint on a gee-gee?

- Well, I don't know of any other way

you're gonna win that race on Saturday.

- You.

Pay the man, Stace.

Do you know what?

I feel like I've been mugged.

- If it works, we
get paid out, don't we?

- Exactly.
- Yeah, well I bet

Imogen would have checked the
bleeding contract properly.

- Ah, it's a lovely evening,

I think I'll take a
little stroll, all right?

- Do you want me to come with you, Albie?

- No, no, my dear, I won't be long.

Hi.

Buy you a drink?

You're a very persistent young man.

- How do I know what's coming next?

- And what's that?

- It's the "Come back when
you're older" speech, innit?

Or "When you've had an hair
cut", or "Dress better",

"Have a better attitude,"

"When there's an R in the month."

- Yeah, I heard more than
a few speeches like that

when I was your age.

- Did you listen?

- No.

So, why do you wanna be a grifter?

- That's all I know.

- Ah, that's not good enough.

- The money.

- Then you're doomed to failure.

- Look, there's obviously something

you're waiting for me to say, old man,

some ancient grifters' code

that you all know about and I don't.

I mean, we can sit here all night

playing 20 questions trying to find it,

fact is, I don't know what
it is you want me to say,

so thanks for the beer, let's
just forget about it, yeah?

- Billy do you ever watch movies?

- Sometimes.

- Well, there's a line in "Cool Hand Luke"

when the boss of the
chain gang says to Luke,

"What we have here is a
failure to communicate."

I know what's in your head,

it's your heart that worries me.

- I've been on the streets
since I was 13, yeah?

Dozen care homes before that.

They tried to say I was bad,

the truth was I didn't
like being touched up

by dirty old men.

I stole to eat, and they
put me away for that too.

I came out, tried to get a job

'cause I had a record, I was
straight back on the streets.

They make the rules,

I got no way of keeping
them, so I do what I do.

I go my own way.

- Well, that doesn't tell me
why you wanna be a grifter.

- So, I can play these faceless
bastards at their own game.

The banks, the bosses, the man.

Hit 'em where it hurts,

the only place they really
care about, in the pocket.

- Revenge, huh?

- Well, you can call it that,
but I call it self-defense.

- So, you'd like me to help you?

- Did you help this Michael?

- Yes, I did.

Okay, but first I want you to
meet a close friend of mine.

- Wow, Archie, it's identical.

- That's unbelievable.

- Archie, you are an artist.

- And you're sure she'll win the race?

- I don't know where you
found her, but she's a flyer.

I've had a look at the other runners,

and she'll leave them all stone dead.

- So, do we go?

- Oh, yes.

- That's it, nice and easy with her.

Nice and easy, bring her down gently.

That's it, that's it.

That's lovely, look.

This has cost me an arm
and a leg, that one.

Oi, knob head!

Move that broom or I'll
stick it up your arse!

- Albie, you're on.

- On my way.

You damn cheat!

That's my horse and you cheated me!

- All right, old man.

All's fair in love and racing.

- You knew I'd done a deal with Marchant

and you went behind my back.

And what makes it even worse

is that I introduced you to him!

- Did I thank you for that?

- You're a cheat and a liar.

- Get out of my face, old man,

before I lose my patience and
give you a slap in the mouth.

- You're never
gonna get away with this!

- I already have.

Now sling your hook, I got a race to run.

- I'm gonna report you.

- Yeah, who to?

- The authorities.

- Look, I offered the man more than you.

He sold me the horse, end of story.

Now, are you gonna leave or
am I gonna throw you out?

- You haven't heard the last of this.

- Oh yes, I have.

- You'll be
hearing from my solicitors.

- Yeah, I'll look forward to that.

- The runners
are leaving the parade ring

for the second race.

They're on their way to
the mile-and-a-half start.

- Paul!

- I hope you've brought my money.

- It's yours the second she
passes the winning post.

Providing she comes first.

- Oh, she will.

- I'm just off to the parade
ring, put a little bet on.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

- Is that the best you
can do on Cindy's Fortune?

- Five to one, Cindy's Fortune!

Five to one, Cindy's Fortune!

- I'll take six
to one on Cindy's Fortune.

- 20 grand to win, Cindy's
Fortune in the next.

- The six furlong,

Maiden Stakes here about to get underway.

Most of the horses now at the post.

They're loading them up.

This race is for both colts and fillies,

and the going now officially
changed to good to firm.

Cindy's Fortune going in
under Patrick O'Donnell

in the purple colors of Richard Brennan,

currently five to one.

Favorite Saucy Sarah at five to two.

And they're off!

Six furlongs...

Cindy's Fortune got off to a great start.

Saucy Sarah slowly away,
so too was Boy Bluster,

but not Cindy's Fortune.

- Look at her go!

- She's already
gone up by about a length or two

as they approach halfway.

The further she goes, the
further clear she goes.

Cindy's Fortune on a real goey day today.

And she absolutely devastates...

- Let her go, yeah, right!

- And all the way with her,

for Cindy's Fortune easily,

second place for Wildlife and
Boy Bluster back in third.

- Woo!
- Yeah!

- Come on!

- Ah!

- Bloody marvelous!

Did you see that?

- Yeah, now, it's just a
small matter of the money.

- Oh, son, son, son, she's
worth every single penny.

Suki, go get the man his money.

- Oh yes!
- Champagne!

Yes!

- Yeah!

- Oh, this is the best moment!

- Oh, oh, she's, she's...

- Well done!

- Oh, well done, sir,
yeah, well, well done.

She's sweating, she's sweating.

- Hi, security here.

Stop paying out on Cindy's Fortune.

- What the bloody hell's this?
- Would the clerk

of the course come to the
winner's enclosure immediately.

- Ah!
- Stop them two!

Stop them!

Don't stop me, you idiots, stop them!

They're the ones, they're crooks!

They've had me over!

- Archie, come here,
I'll bleeding kill you!

- Archie!

- Porn baron and
horse owner Richard Brennan

was arrested today for entering a filly

which had been stolen from
Sheikh Abdul Aziz's stables.

Painted to look like his own horse.

- Hey, you're missing the excitement.

Someone's tried to rig a
race by painting the horse.

- No, what some people will do, eh?

- Eddie, turn the telly
off, bring the drinks over.

What a bleeding balls-up.

I'll tell you now, I'll
kill him, I'll kill Archie!

- Yeah, well, it might
have survived the champagne

if you hadn't started patting it.

- Well, yeah, how the hell was I to know?

- Yeah, well, that's it.

I can't see him paying
up now somehow, can you?

And with everything we've paid
out, we are out of pocket.

- Oh, it was all going so well.

- Scotch on the rocks, Eddie.

- Albie!

Did you see what happened?

- Hard not to, my dear.

- Yeah, well, we've
definitely made a loss.

- Not good, not good.

- No, we haven't made
a loss before, have we?

- When this gets out, we're
gonna be a laughing stock.

- Yeah, all right!

- Yeah, we might not be
able to afford Imogen now.

- Yeah, it's a pity we didn't
have a plan B, wasn't it?

- Ooh, a plan B, yeah!

- You lot don't look very happy.

- Oh, thanks for that observation, Eddie.

- Go away.

- Aye, butt out.

- Oh, brilliant, brilliant.

I mean, now my day is complete.

I got nothing left to nick.

- I ain't here to nick anything.

- I so haven't got time
for this, all right?

- Hear the kid out.

- Look, I knew the only
way you'd let me in

was if I proved I was good enough.

I mean, that's what you
did, didn't you, Mr. Blue?

So, I watched you,

worked out what you was
doing, tried to help out.

- Well, you must have done a brilliant job

'cause we're all potless.

- Go on, Billy.

- I knew you had the
whole horse thing covered,

but there was one thing you missed.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- Five to one, Cindy's Fortune.

- Danny, is that the best you
can do on Cindy's Fortune?

- Five to one, Cindy's Fortune.

- Five to one on Cindy's Fortune.

- I'll take six
to one on Cindy's Fortune.

- 20 grand to win, Cindy's
Fortune in the next.

- 20 grand to win, Cindy's
Fortune, all right.

Give the man a ticket.

If he thought his horse was gonna win,

then obviously he's
gonna put a big bet on.

So, I thought that would be a good plan B.

- Well, I mean, obviously,
I thought of that,

but we just sort of run
out of time, didn't we?

- So, here's 20 grand.

And that's more money than
I've ever seen in my life.

But it's yours if you let me in.

- One question.

How much did you have to
do with all this, Albert?

- Me?

Well, absolutely nothing.

- It would mean that we'd made a profit.

- Yeah, that's true.

- Actually, we did make a bit of a profit.

I decided to put a little bet
on Cindy's Fortune myself.

I collected this just
before things went awry.

- Yeah, me too.

It was too good to miss.

- Yes, it was.

- Well, seems like you were the only one

who drew a blank then, Danny.

In your dreams.

- So, what do you say then, Mr. Blue?

Give us one chance, yeah?

- Do you know, I'm getting a funny feeling

that I'm being set up here.

- No, no.
- No.

- No, no.
- No.

- I want it crystal clear,
I make all the decisions.

- Yeah, but of course, absolutely.

- I had someone else really
good lined up an' all.

- I won't let you down.

- All right, you're in.

- Yeah!

- Chin-chin.

- Oh!

- But no more messing about, yeah?

No more nicking me wallet,

no going off doing
unilateral things on your own

without my saying so.

- It's a deal.

- Sit down.

- Well, I think we should have a toast.

- Yeah.

- To Billy the Kid.

- Nice one, son.
- Cheers, Billy.

- Cheers.
- Welcome.

- Oh, no, I don't need this.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, dear, how many promises
did you make her exactly?

- Right, Billy,
your first initiative test.

- Yeah.

- See that bird over there?

Been offered a job, loads of
money, round the world travel,

fast cars and regular sex
with a Brad Pitt look-a-like.

Namely, moi.

Now you have to blow her out,

whilst not making her so angry that,

you know, she wants to hurt me, got it?

And if you can keep hold
of the regular sex bit,

you can have a bonus.

Hello, gorgeous!

Gorgeous girl, look at you.

Mwah!

- Albert
Stroller, a great pleasure.

- There's Albert jumping in there.

- Three Socks Morgan, how do you do?

- Three Socks, my assistant.

- Hi!
- Stacie Monroe,

you look lovely.

- Thank you, he's over there.

If you'll just, you got a lovely,

I'll leave you with Billy
anyway, he'll tell you all about.

- Hi, all right.

Sit down.

- Don't you think that was a bit cruel?

- No, he'll be all right,
it's a test, innit?

See what the kid's made of.

- Didn't you say she was a bunny-boiler?

- I said she had potential

to be a bunny-boiler if you upset her.

- Which is what you've
just left Billy to do.

- I think they've got a point, Danny.

- Okay, let's go back.

Let's go see Billy, yeah?

Billy bleeding this, Billy bleeding that.

- Oh, he's good, isn't he?

- Yeah, what would you
say, under a minute?

- Well, I'd say he's passed the test.

- Yeah.

You know what else?

He reminds me of me.