Original subtitles

- Thank you for doing this artwork.

It really means a lot.

- Listen, a good concierge is hard to find.

- Well, it's a different world these days.

Computers, keycards.

- I know, is everybody else getting younger

or are we just getting older.

- You ever thought of retiring?

- Oh, heavens, no.

Old grifters don't retire, they just simply fade away

and try to con their way into the Pearly Gates.

- We had some times, though, didn't we?

- Yes, we did, we did indeed.

So what are you gonna do with yourself, Harold?

- My wife and I are talking of moving to Benidorm.

- Marvelous.

- We put a few pounds aside, mostly from you.

- Ah.

- That and our pension should see us in good stead.

- Well, if you're ever sitting in a pub someday

and a likely looking mark walks in,

you've got my number, right?

- It's a promise.

You know, Albert,

there's one man I wish we'd really got too.

- Oh?

- I have two sisters, they work for him.

Pardon my language, he's a bastard.

- Kulvinder Samar.

- So why didn't Harold even put him in a framer?

- Well, he's based in Radford

but he travels to London once a month.

Stays in one of those service departments

that Harold took care of.

He's going to be there for two weeks this trip.

- What does he do, Albie?

- Well, he runs a network

of small factories making counterfeit designer clothes.

- Look, are these bloody coffee stains?

No drinking, you are here to bloody well work!

Do you hear me!

- In other words, another sweatshop.

I've seen some of those places.

I tell ya, you wouldn't keep your dog in them.

- Harold had two of his sisters working there.

- So where's he from them, this Samar?

- He was lured to the UK in the '80s

where Thatcher's Britain made it a perfect climate

for him to set up his factories.

- How rich?

- Very.

- Well, that's a start, isn't it?

- Okay, how do we get to him?

- Well, before he came to the UK,

he tried to become a Bollywood actor.

His father put a stop to this

and Samar took over the family business.

But his acting days filmed him

with a passion for Bollywood films.

So Harold says he spends every weekend sitting in cinemas.

- The angel scam.

- Ah, not being funny here, kids,

last time we did the movie investocon, I got shot.

- Well, don't worry, Danny,

if anybody's gonna pull the trigger this time,

it'll be one of us.

- Go ahead, so we'll just keep it in the family, yeah.

- Are you sure the Bollywood thing is the way in, Albert?

- I'd say so, yes.

- Question, anybody notice that none of us are Asian.

- He's got a point.

I mean, do we know anything about Bollywood films?

- Well, not yet.

But we will.

- Word of warning, Samar is a perfectionist.

So if we do this, it has to be perfect.

- Well, perfect is exactly how I like things.

- Sorry, excuse me, sorry.

Excuse me, I found this in the foyer,

I thought it might be yours.

- Oh my goodness.

Thank you very much, indeed.

- Did you see this picture?

- Yes, it's an extraordinary movie.

- How's this video going?

- Yeah, I'm just regrading it to look like film.

It's a wedding video I got from me mate, Rocky.

You won't have more than four or five minutes worth, though.

- Should be enough.

- Bored, Danny.

- Not much research needed to be a chauffer, is there.

- Maybe you should take up a hobby.

- Like what?

- Knitting.

- Gardening.

- Gardening?

- Yes.

- Danny, we don't have a garden.

- No, but, listen up.

My old nan, she had a little flat,

she used to have loads of potted plants.

And when we were little, we used to help her.

- And what would you grow in these pots?

- Herbs.

Don't laugh.

- Herbs?

- Okay, flowers then.

Listen, you won't be laughing, mate,

when you got the sweet smell of begonias

and whatever wafting through the place.

- "Begonias and whatever."

- Yeah, he really knows his stuff, don't he?

- He's got all the technical terms.

- Oh, leave him alone.

I think it'll be lovely.

- You don't have to patronize me, Stace.

All right, maybe a little bit of patronizing.

- What about the script?

- Yeah, okay.

Well, it's a lot of love stories,

boy meets girl, class differences, family disapproves.

- Basically, Romeo and Juliet set in India?

- Yeah, more or less.

Yeah, I've taken a script about 10 years old,

changed the character names, locations and stuff.

I'll stick in a few new scenes and bingo, yeah.

- I saw one of them films once.

Yeah, I used to go out with an Indian bird.

Oh, cracking bird.

Did this amazing thing with her...

- We have a mark.

- What's the matter with you, girl?

Don't you understand plain English?

Then listen, I want the slipper delivered here.

Well, perhaps I should contact your manager,

let him know how incompetent his staff are.

♪ Na, na, na, na, na ♪

- Make sure that you do.

- Samar thinks I'm Harry Kaplan,

a movie investor who's been offered a script,

but I'm nervous because it's a Bollywood movie.

So he's agreed to look at the script for me.

I told him the movie is in mid-production

and struggling for cash.

When he's read the script, he wants to meet the producer.

♪ Na, na, na, na ♪

- Hello, Gerard Bruce, Bruce Lightman Productions.

We have a room booked to screen some rushes.

- No, you're not down here.

- I must be.

I've only booked it for a few minutes.

Maybe it's under the name of the film "Ocean's Thirteen"?

- "Ocean's Thirteen"?

- Yeah, you've not heard of it?

- No.

- Okay, well, the Brad Pitt character...

- Rusty Ryan.

- Oh, are you a fan?

- Oh, God, yeah.

- Okay, well, Rusty Ryan goes it alone.

The whole film is just Brad.

- Fan-bloody-tastic.

- Look, I know there must have been some sort of mix-up.

But I've got a couple of producers arriving

in a few minutes, and if you could let us use a room,

I'd be very grateful.

I could call Brad.

Maybe you'd like to speak to him.

- Room two.

- Okay.

- Can I use this phone? - Yeah.

♪ Que sera, sera ♪

♪ Whatever will be, will be ♪

♪ The future's not ours to see ♪

Oh, God.

Speak.

- Hi, Brad, it's Gerard.

- Brad? - Yeah.

What's the weather like over there?

- Mickey, I know it's you.

Get to the point, son, all right?

I'm trying to pot me plants, all right?

- No, no.

Brad.

- I get it, all right.

I got to be Brad, yeah?

Is this like that game where they put a sticker on me head,

and I have to guess who I am, is that it?

- Yeah, that's right.

That's right.

Listen, I've got a huge fan of yours here.

Yeah, she absolutely loved you in "Ocean's Eleven."

- Brad, "Ocean's Eleven"?

- Brad Pitt maybe?

- Yeah, I know.

Am I Brad Pitt, maybe?

- That's right.

Yeah, so look, as a favor to me,

would you mind having a chat?

- No. - Yeah.

- Mick, don't put her on.

Mickey, don't.

I can't do Brad Pitt.

He sounds like Donald Duck.

Hi, how you doing?

Hi, how you... - Hello?

- Hi, how you doing?

- I'm fine.

- What's your name, baby?

- Alice.

- Do you know my mother's name is...

- Is Jane Pitt, yeah.

- That's right, Jane.

But she had a dog called Alice.

- Really?

I'm so happy to talk to you.

I've got so many questions to ask.

- You got a lot of questions to ask me?

- Yeah.

- Brad Pitt.

- Baby, you can ask me anything you want.

- Well, I don't know.

Maybe it's because I haven't met the right man yet.

- Gerard Bruce, please.

- Room two.

I'm talking to Brad Pitt.

No.

Brad, what are you like?

Brad, I'm wearing pink ones.

- Gerard, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Kulvinder Samar.

- Gerard Bruce.

- So, Harry, do we have a deal?

- Well, as I tried to explain to you on the phone,

Bollywood is not exactly my area,

but I've asked Mr. Samar to help advise me

because he's something of an expert.

- There is very little I don't know about Bollywood,

Mr. Bruce, so I hope you are not wasting my friend's time.

- I never waste anyone's time, Mr. Samar.

My films make money.

- And yet you have lost one of your investors?

- Yeah, well, I mentioned

that one of the backers had dropped out mid-shoot.

- It happens.

- Mr. Samar tells me unless you have established stars,

Bollywood films very rarely make money.

- We are aiming this film at the Western market.

No one will have any idea who these stars are.

- So, Mr. Bruce, who would you say is

the badshah of Bollywood?

- Well, for me that would have to be Shahrukh Khan.

- And female?

- I must confess a weakness for Aishwarya Rai.

- Ah, I see we have very similar tastes.

But this movie that you are shooting is based in London,

with a Western cast?

- Well, mostly, yes.

But I think the key is to mix cultures.

- I liked the script.

- You liked the script?

Is there anything you haven't told him?

- Well, as I said, it's not my area.

- Okay, okay, look.

The deal with the other investor included a clause

which stipulated that his daughter got a part in the film.

Now, I could give you that.

- I don't have a daughter.

Well, then I'm sure there are lots

of willing, young starlets out there.

Harry, might get you laid.

- Well, I don't think my wife would approve

of me getting laid.

- This part you have offered, has it been written?

- No, not yet.

- So it could be changed?

- I guess so, why?

- I was an actor.

- And?

- And I'm a very wealthy man, Mr. Bruce.

If Mr. Kaplan decided not to invest,

perhaps I could consider it.

- Are you serious?

- Films are a great passion of mine.

- Clearly, this is more in your area than it is in mine.

And I'd be happy to have you take it from here, if you want.

- I would appreciate your advice.

Your experience in these matters is far greater than mine.

How much do you need?

- Well, we are 200,000 pounds light

on a 1.6 million budget.

- I am very particular

about the way I do business, Mr. Bruce.

I would need to visit your set,

meet your star and look at your accounts.

- No problem.

- And I shall be in your film.

You see, Mr. Bruce,

the art of doing the perfect business deal is

to find a man with limited options.

Have your accounts sent to me.

- Ash, find me a film set.

Let's take this man's money.

- That's it.

Now you stay here where it's nice and warm, all right?

Daddy will come and feed you.

Yes, he will.

And you can grow nice and big and flowery.

Yeah?

And we can show those little piss-takers

that Daddy is not a complete idiot.

- Are you talking to yourself, Danny?

- No, just talking to my seedlings.

- Well, it's good enough for Prince Charles, I suppose.

- Exactly.

- You know, this is a whole new side of you

I haven't seen before.

I quite like it.

- What, enough to get your kit off?

- You just can't help yourself, can you?

(Footsteps tapping)

- Ignore her, she's got issues.

- He went for us giving him a part in the film,

just like Albert said he would.

So, we're on.

- Okay, so I've doctored the production accounts

and schedules from East is East.

- Should do the trick.

- Great, great.

- So, what's he like?

- Well, he's got this air about him

that everyone else is beneath him.

- Unbelievable.

Do you know how many different roses there are?

- Go on, surprise us.

- Thousands.

You can even make your own, and you can name it yourself.

Danny Blue rose.

- I preferred it when he was bored.

- Wisteria can take up to seven years to flower.

- Really?

- It's actually a member of the pea family.

- Danny, Danny, we're in the middle of a con.

Could you please focus?

- Yeah.

So what's next, Mick?

- Well, if he buys these accounts,

he'll want to see a film set.

Any joy?

- Yeah, Rocky and the lads have just finished

a Spanish prisoner scam.

They know some guys in the market.

The trouble is, I haven't got a camera or equipment.

- I have faith in you.

Danny seems to have a lot of time on his hands.

He can get the limo.

- Mm, mm, mm, what?

- Limousine.

Danny, we have to do this properly.

- Hey, lads, didn't anyone tell you

we broke early for lunch today?

- What, since when?

- Since half hour ago.

Catering's down the block.

You know, I reckon you'll be lucky

if there's anything left by now.

- Typical, we're always the last to know.

Cheers, mate.

- All right, you'd better get a move on.

We're only taking an hour, yeah.

- Samar, good morning.

- Everything is ready?

- Yes, yes, the cast and crew are expecting you.

Shall we?

- All right, lads, set up over there,

quick as you can.

All right, everyone know what they're doing, Rock?

- Yeah, yeah, I think so.

So, who's the mark?

- Well, he's a guy called Kulvinder Samar.

- What makes all the schnide gear?

- Yeah, you know him?

- Oh, I know people who work for him,

two quid an hour and abuse on tap.

- Yeah, well, give him some back, then, eh?

- Oh, listen, before I forget,

you got me sister's wedding DVD?

She's doing her nut.

- Oh, yeah, mate, it's in the car.

- Okay, so I've got half a dozen grifters milling around,

the rest are civilians, but they're sweet,

they think it's a real film shoot.

- Top man.

Okay, people, let's go again.

I want energy this time.

Come on!

- J.P., J. P., J.P., one moment, please.

Sorry.

Kulvinder Samar.

This is our director, J.P.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

We're just setting up for the opening sequence.

- This looks like a real Indian market.

- Yeah, well, that's the general idea.

- And it's all very colorful.

- Well, J P.'s a perfectionist.

- Here's our star, Collette Silver.

While she's getting ready, let me tell you about the setup.

This is the scene where they first meet.

They spot each other over a stall.

He hides, so he can watch her.

He's a street urchin, she's a princess,

so it's strictly out of bounds.

But he's consumed with love.

As she passes, he takes his chance and he jumps.

Okay, first positions, please.

Let's do it again.

- So, Mr. Samar Kulvinder, have you seen enough?

- We will discuss it over lunch.

Bring the woman.

- All right, lads, how was lunch?

- It was awful, mate.

- Yeah, well, I'll give it a miss then.

- So, Ms. Silver, where did you train?

- I studied at the Film and Television Institute in Pune.

- Impressive.

- Gerard tells me that you're investing in our film.

- Did he?

That was very presumptuous of him.

- I said it was a possibility.

- You know, I was an actor once.

- Really?

- In my youth.

- Why did you stop?

- My father was a businessman.

I felt I should follow in his footsteps.

- That's a pity.

Maybe we could have worked together.

- Samar may be in our film.

The princess' uncle.

- Oh, I didn't know I had one.

- Well, the writers are working on it right now.

But, see, your character is an orphan,

and she has to go back to her home town

to ask her uncle for permission to marry...

- Which, of course, he does not give.

- Until the young boy proves himself.

- So, there are many lines?

- Oh, yes.

- So, Mr. Bruce, I assume you are waiting to know

if I will invest?

- Well, I'd like to know

if I'm going to finish this film, yes.

- I have looked into film finance,

and I believe the correct terminology is first recoupment,

plus 10% of the adjusted gross.

- Whew, well, you drive a hard bargain.

- I am not here to bargain with you, Mr. Bruce.

These are my conditions.

- So, you'll invest?

- I will not be rushed.

I will enjoy my lunch,

listen to you all sucking up to me some more,

and give you my decision in the morning.

A very enjoyable meal.

You will have my final answer by the morning.

- I have never wanted to take someone's money

quite as badly as this.

- What an objectionable man.

- Smile sweetly, boys.

- Excuse me, your wallet?

- J.P.'s a perfectionist.

- Here's our star, Collette Silver.

- I studied at the Film and Television Institute in Pune.

- I believe the correct terminology is first recoupment,

plus 10% of the adjusted gross.

- You drive a hard bargain, but.

- It's all too perfect.

- What was that?

- I was saying it's all too perfect.

That is what is bothering me, huh?

I strive for perfection, you see,

but nothing is ever perfect,

apart from this fantastic situation

I have miraculously found myself in.

- I don't get you.

- I admit you've done very well.

It's hard to pull off a thing like this.

You're all con artists.

- Eh?

I'm not a working-class hero.

I'm just a regular guy.

Anybody would have dived through that window screen,

and at that point my life was going,

but I found the strength, an inner strength.

I saved the old lady and the kittens.

Oh, my family are here.

I'll have that bed bath later, Kimberley.

Thanks for listening, darling.

Bye.

- Hello, son.

- It wasn't my fault.

- Danny, you drove into a stationary vehicle.

- Yeah, that bit was my fault.

It wasn't my fault that Samar has worked out

we're con artists.

- Albert.

- Yes, yes.

- Samar is onto us.

- Oh, everything's fine.

- He may go to the police.

- No, he won't.

He's got amnesia.

- What?

- No, sir, I'm not a hero.

I'm not a working-class hero.

I'm just a regular guy.

Anybody could have died.

- I'll get the doctor, Mr. Samar.

- Mr. Samar, you're sitting up.

- Doctor?

- Yes, yes.

- Oh, Doctor.

- Are you a relative?

- No, no, no.

I'm, I'm sorry, excuse me, sorry.

A doctor with Mr. Samar's private medical insurers,

Gold Service.

Could I have a word with you?

What exactly is the problem?

Retrograde or short-term amnesia.

- Yeah, go on.

- Well, it's short-term memory loss.

He has no recollection of new information

he learned before the accident.

- How close to the accident?

- Well, the doctor said a couple of weeks.

- Brilliant, so, he almost had us,

only he can't remember it?

- Yeah, it appears so.

Although this is temporary amnesia.

I mean, his memory could come back at any moment.

- Oh, so, that's it then?

- You know, I hate to lose this one, Michael.

- Yeah, me, too. - Mm.

- Yeah, well, let's face it.

It's over, so, let's cut and run.

- Yeah, well, he deserves to be conned.

- Albert's right.

Accident or not, Samar's a nasty piece of work.

- So, you don't like him?

- No.

- Well, then you're letting

your emotions get involved, ain't you?

Third rule of the con, don't get involved personally.

- No, no, no, that's the fourth rule.

- Well, what's the third rule then?

- Do you mind?

I'm thinking.

- We promised Harold we'd do it.

- No, wait, no one's ever done this.

- Oh, no, come on, steady, mate.

- Done what?

- Played the same con twice on the same mark.

- Yeah, for a very good reason.

- But think of it.

To be the first to play a double-con.

Same pitch, same mark.

It's brilliant.

- Well, it's genius if we can pull it off.

- Well, if we can't do it, nobody can.

- What we really have to do is figure out how he guessed.

I mean, what did we do wrong?

- Ah, he did say something before the crash.

- Would you like to share it with the group?

- He said, "Everything is too perfect."

- Too perfect?

- Well, Michael, you might take it as a compliment.

- Well, that's it.

We pulled out all the stops on this one.

That's what made him suspicious.

- Yeah, yeah, we made the whole thing too good to be true.

- A man who strives for perfection is the one person

who should know it doesn't exist.

- So, we do the con again, but make things less perfect.

- Yes.

- Well, believe me, this will be the first

and last time I say this sentence.

Let's all do our jobs.

This time, try not to be so perfect.

- Am I going home?

- Yes, you may recover some memory

if you're in familiar surroundings.

- You're the doctor.

- Yes, I am.

- That'll do nicely.

- Anything?

- This is definitely my room.

I like beautiful things.

- Well, it's a start.

- I couldn't tell you what's in any of the cupboards.

- Oh, it's good, though.

- It is? - Yes.

Now you know you appreciate beauty.

That means your long-term memory is still intact.

It's just your short-term that's had damage.

- What does that mean?

- Well, your short-term's

what you've learned most recently.

It hasn't been ingrained on your mind yet.

- That makes sense.

I can remember arriving here.

And factories, I had to visit the factory.

I was on a buying trip.

- Well, we can do things to trigger your memory.

Make it come back more quickly.

Your desk there, see if there's anything familiar there.

- I know her.

Gerard Bruce, I don't recognize it.

- Bruce?

Seems familiar, I think he's a film producer.

Very successful.

Perhaps you were working with him.

Do you have any interest in films?

- Yes, I love films.

- Well, let's give him a call,

see if we can fill in the gaps.

- You know, I think I must have made a mistake with my life.

- I'm sorry, I don't understand.

- In the hospital, everyone had visitors,

loved ones who were worried about them.

Yet, no one was there for me.

Why was that?

Maybe we should call this Gerard Bruce.

Go and meet him.

He might be a friend.

- I think that's a very good idea.

- What time is it in Malibu now?

- Malibu, it's eight hours earlier.

- Oh, he probably hasn't got up yet.

Room two.

- Hello?

- Hey, Alice.

- Oh, Brad.

Tell me where you are.

- I'm just having a little coffee now, you know,

looking out over the ocean.

Waves are crashing against the rocks,

and, God, this sun is so golden today.

- God, that sounds beautiful.

- Oh, it's really beautiful, baby.

- I wish I could be there with you.

- So, what are you wearing?

- Well, not very much.

- You still got that little pink number?

- I might have.

- Stop it there, please.

So, how're you feeling?

- A little strange.

I'm sorry, I...

- You don't remember me? - No.

Not really, it's the accident.

- Yeah, think nothing of it.

You must be Samar's doctor.

We spoke on the phone.

- Yes, yes, can I ask how recently did you two meet?

- Well, it was only a few days ago.

We had lunch yesterday, remember?

- No, it's my short-term memory.

I'm having trouble remembering the last few days.

- Okay, then, let me get you up to speed with where we were.

You'd offered yourself as an investor in our film.

It was only a small amount,

but the yield should be relatively high.

- I love films.

- Yeah, we'd written you a part.

- I was an actor?

- Yeah, and you loved the script, and you agreed to invest.

- I did? - 200,000 pounds.

- Oh, well, I have that kind of money.

- Now here's the scary part.

Now, we're in a bit of a rush.

- So, we need the cash.

- I see.

Can I ask you something, Mr. Bruce?

- Yeah, of course.

- Are we friends?

- Sorry?

- You and I?

Are we friends?

- We only met a few days ago,

so, yeah, I'd like to think we were friends, yeah.

- But only because I have money?

- No, no, no.

- It doesn't matter.

I have agreed to invest, I will get you your money.

- Fantastic.

- And I will be in your film?

- Absolutely.

Can I see the set?

- So you need cameras and a limo again?

- No, keep it simple.

Remember last time.

- Yeah, I've downgraded the website.

- Good.

- So, this is really gonna work.

- Well, he's already agreed to invest.

We just keep him on-line until we get the money.

- It's strange though, Samar seems different.

- How so?

- Well, less obnoxious.

- Mm, I found that.

- Maybe he's forgot he's an arse hole.

- Maybe.

- Yeah, well, right now,

we've got bigger things to worry about.

If Samar gets his memory back before we do this,

we're in serious trouble.

- Hi, I thought you might like some company

on your visit to the set.

- Yes, please come in.

- I love movies, too.

You know, last night, Doctor, I had a dream about you.

- Did you?

- Yes.

But in the dream, you were not a real doctor.

- Really?

- Really.

You see, everything was a film set,

and you were just an actor.

Like Dr. Kildare.

- Well, the mind can do this, mixes everything up,

tries to make sense of it.

- I suppose so, but it was so real.

- The mind is a powerful thing.

- Come.

- Hey.

Samar.

- A good day to make movies?

- I hope so.

- You don't mind if I join you?

- No, no, of course not, of course not.

I thought we'd grab lunch before we headed to the film set.

- Do I know you?

- I picked you up a few days ago, Mr. Samar.

Don't you remember?

- No, sorry.

Stop.

Pull in, pull in.

This is my factory.

- What do we do?

- Wait here.

Samar?

- All right, lads, same again.

We've got about an hour.

- This is a nice place.

- It's basic, but I've got a budget to think of.

So, Mr. Bruce. - Hm.

- Tell me more about your film.

- Well, it's basically

a typical Bollywood love story, you know.

Shot in London and with a Western cast.

- Interesting.

- In fact, I've asked our star, Collette Silver,

to join us here for lunch.

- The photograph.

- Sorry?

- Well, she signed a photograph for me.

She's very beautiful.

- Oh, yeah, she is, huh?

- What can I get you gents?

- Well, what do you got?

- Pies.

We've got pork, steak and kidney and eel.

All with mash and peas.

- Could you give us another minute, please, waiter?

- Are you all right, Kulvinder?

- Yes, oh, I'm sorry.

Bits of this are coming back to me.

- Oh yes.

- Here's Collette now.

- Collette, you remember Kulvinder?

- Of course I do.

I heard about your accident.

- Please, please sit.

And this is Doctor...

- Munro.

- Just in case it affects your choice,

I've just had a word with the chef and eel's off.

Phone.

- In the film, you have an uncle.

- Yes.

- You need his permission to marry.

- That's right.

- That must be from my short-term memory, Doctor.

- Ah, yes, oh, yes, of course.

- Then it must be coming back.

- What?

- Eddie, Eddie, calm down.

All I want you to do is pop over to the flat, yeah?

Just give them a little bit of water.

Not too much, all right?

Okay, and you have to talk to them.

- What do you mean talk to them?

Have you gone mad?

- Eddie, Eddie, listen.

Just, I don't know, tell them one of your scout stories.

They go on a bit, don't they?

- So, Mr. Bruce? - Hm.

- How many songs?

- 11.

- The songs are my favorite part.

I often fast-forward the dialogue bits.

Give me a brightly colored dance scene any day, huh?

I was an actor once.

- Really? - No more.

- Oh, that's a pity.

- You know, something strange has happened.

- What's that?

- Since the accident, everyone seems so familiar.

It's a feeling I haven't known very much in my life.

A feeling of being amongst friends.

So, where did you study to become an actress?

- Oh, I went to a very small school.

I doubt you would have heard of it.

- Acting was my dream.

My father thought I was wasting my life.

Let's just say that he beat some sense into me.

But you, you must follow your dream.

Don't let anyone take that away from you.

- I won't.

- Because I have little recollection of recent events,

it has forced me to look back over my life.

Last night I saw my whole life,

stretching back to the point at which I was forced

to leave my dream and join my father's business.

I fear that bitterness has made me not a very nice man.

- I'm sure that's not true.

- Oh, but it is.

The factory we visited, those people.

They had such hate in their eyes.

Still, with friends around him, a man can change, huh?

So come, let us visit your set.

And I will arrange for the money to finish your film.

- Something about this does not feel right.

- No.

- You think he's playing with us?

- I don't know.

- Well, this is a hell of a time to find out.

- 'Cause the lights go right here.

- J.P.

- Hi, listen, you wanna stand by?

We're all ready, yeah.

- Okay, I'll just go to the booth, then.

- Okay.

- J.P. - Yeah.

- Samar, I don't suppose

you remember our director, J.P.?

- Ah, sorry, no.

- Oh, don't worry, at least you've got an excuse.

I can never remember anyone's name,

and I've not even been in an accident.

- And this is Dr. Munro.

- How do you do? - Hi, how are you?

- It appears that you might have been here before.

Do you remember anything?

- It's hard to say.

It all seems familiar, but I've been to a lot of markets.

Where is your camera?

- It's on the roof.

We're getting the long shots first,

before the main crew arrive tomorrow.

- Right, number ones, everybody, please.

- Okay, everyone, let's wrap this one up.

And action!

♪ What's he sayin' ♪

♪ Didn't hear a word ♪

- Charity?

- I don't believe it.

- He was the perfect mark.

- Well, the old Samar was the perfect mark,

but this is a very different person.

- So, what do we do now?

- Well, however we got here, we're about to break our code

and con a good man.

- Well, Harold is a good man, too.

I'm sure he would rather have a changed Samar

and lose a few pounds.

- It's not even a fair fight anymore.

- Yeah, so, what's next then, mugging old ladies?

- We can't do this.

- I agree.

- You are joking?

- No, Danny, I'm not joking.

I mean, look at him.

He's sick.

- You're giving up 200 grand and he's sick?

- We walk away.

- Cut!

- Come, let's all go and celebrate this wonderful film.

You, too, my friend.

- Oh, I'll just, I'll just get this

and join you upstairs later, all right?

Yeah, Bruce, yeah. - Come in.

- Well, when?

Everyone.

- Is everything all right?

- No, I've got something to tell you.

- And I have something to tell you.

- Oh?

- Just something I remembered.

But, please, you go first.

- Well, it seems there's been a fire at the processing lab,

and all our film's gone up in smoke.

- Tell me you're joking.

- Well, we can re-shoot everything, can't we?

- No, by the time the insurance comes through,

and we've got a new crew, and we find new locations.

- Yeah, it'll take two years, minimum.

- I think we should just cut our losses.

Good thing you didn't invest, eh?

- Yes, indeed.

- So, what were you gonna tell me?

- Oh, it doesn't matter.

- So, what'll you do?

- First, I will take care of the people

I have mistreated here.

Then I will sell my business

and go back to India, to acting school.

Follow my dream.

- Good for you.

- Bye, Bollywood princess.

You like plants?

- Yeah, yeah, you know, just in a small way.

- Then you must take it with you.

- No, I can't.

- Please, I can't take it with me.

It's an orchid.

It's very rare, a thing of great beauty.

It's called a lady's slipper.

You see how the petals are completely symmetrical?

Perfect.

I've waited a long time to own one of those.

But it doesn't seem so important now.

Please, take it.

- Thank you.

- I suggest you make it an early night.

- Doctor's orders.

- You know, I'm glad we didn't double-con him.

Nice bloke.

- Oh, you've changed your tune.

- Listen, if he can turn over a new leaf, so can I.

- Bump on the head must have had more impact

than we thought.

- So, all's well that ends well.

- Except we're out of pocket.

- Then, you better find us a new mark.

- Mm.

- Let's have another drink.

- Anyway, I'm gonna get off for home.

Get this little baby to bed.

Introduce her to the others.

- Okay, so now you're officially freaking me out.

- Go on, stay and have another.

- No, you're all right, son, bit knackered.

See you later, bye.

- Oh, here, Danny.

You forgot your magazine.

- Am I hearing things or did Danny Blue

just leave a bar early to go and check his pot plants?

- Oh, look, there's a picture of Danny's orchid.

The lady's slipper.

- I'm surprised he hasn't cut it out to stick it by his bed.

- Oh, it won't last.

This is Danny we're talking about, remember?

- The perfect orchid.

One was sold at Christie's last week.

For 30,000 pounds.

- Oi, taxi!

Oi, you plonker!

- Danny?

- We saw the magazine, Danny.

- It's mine.

He gave it to me, didn't he?

- 30 grand, you dodgy git.

- You ain't taking the piss about me gardening now, are ya?

- Danny? - No.

- Mayfair, please.

- Danny? - No, you had your chance!

- This is very silly, Danny.