All language subtitles for Family.Karma.S01E03.A.Game.of.Telephone.720p.HDTV.x264-CRiMSON[eztv]_ENG_Subtitles01

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Original subtitles

- Previously on "family karma"...

- I'm gassing up, I'm going first gear.

- Our friend group, we've all grown up together

because our moms are best friends.

I call it the auntie army.

You're not wearing flannel!

- [laughs]

you don't put all of this in flannel.

- She's technically an auntie...

- [laughs]

- but I can't call bali an auntie, I mean, look at her.

She's so hot.

- Like, as far as friends,

that's where your head's at.

- Where's your head at? - I think a little more.

I've known monica since 6th grade,

but I just started looking at her differently.

- Oh, my god. [laughs]

- richa is the love of my life.

I want to plan a traditional engagement ceremony.

- Why don't you call my mom and ask her first?

- After auntie lopa said all these things

about vishal and his family to my mom,

I reached out to him and he never responded.

- Anisha's actually been blowing up my phone.

- What does that have to do with her?

- I wish we could just brush everything underneath the rug.

[dramatic music]

- I was really taken back by lopa.

What was she thinking?

- Yes.

- I feel like crying right now and I don't like that.

I'm sorry.

♪ ♪

[filmic beep]

- right now there is none.

- Put me on blast. [laughs]

- but I mean, look at her. She's gonna find someone.

And I know they're gonna give me amazing grandkids.

My dream is to have twin grandkids.

- Oh my god.

[filmic beep] [upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[phone whooshes]

- you gonna go get it? Good boy, simba!

- Good morning!

- Good morning, monica. How are you doing?

You want me to make any breakfast?

- No, no, no. I'm gonna call brian over.

- Okay, I'm gonna feed simba in the meantime.

Simba.

- I was really caught off-guard

when brian said that he liked me.

Only because once upon a time

I had told him that I liked him

and he, like, went ghost on me.

[horn honks]

I don't know how I feel,

but I don't want anything

to jeopardize the friendship that I have with brian.

- Damn, girl.

- I'm going to taco bell, I gotta dress the finest.

- Yeah! [laughter]

- what's up, homey?

- Good to see ya. - What up?

- Bye, darling! Have a good day!

- Bye! Bye simba, love you!

- Bye, uncle! Have a good one.

Starving. Ready?

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- so, what's up?

- It's so hot. - It feels like--

it feels like the pumpkin patch, how hot it was.

- Yo, we should've kept that pumpkin just for memories.

Like, it was, like, ugly as sh--

- yeah.

Also I have a little bit of trauma,

a little bit of ptsd, but yeah, we'll--

- ptsd from that day? - Yeah.

- The reaction I got at the pumpkin patch,

it wasn't ideal.

- You go to a bar and, like, try to hit on ten girls.

- Like, when you think about me you think I'm, like,

a joke because of all that sh--?

- Yeah.

- I've told her everything about myself my whole life

so she sees this playboy ----ing douchebag.

You know, I'm not that.

I mean, look, I'm 27, I know what I want in life,

and that's a good indian girl.

- Yo, you wanna see how indian I am?

Ready? Watch this.

- The (bleep) is that?

- You need a coupon? I got a coupon!

- Stop, please!

- You want a free umbrella? - Oh, my god.

Monica.

- Yes. $10 off when you spend $25?

Yes.

- Monica, if you ever go to the mall and pull this thing out...

I swear to god, I'm gonna act like I don't know you.

- Listen, goddess lakshmi, the one that we do puja to

during, like, diwali, she's the goddess of wealth.

I need to keep my wealth with me.

[laughs]

- anyways, I'm stoked for diwali.

- Yo, it's my mission this year to get everybody to fire tower.

I'm gonna take you, your mom.

I want all the bennies there.

Fire tower is the best.

It's the last huge diwali celebration of the year.

There's gonna be every indian in miami attending this event.

- It's that sick?

- Fireworks, open bar, buffet.

- I'm kinda hyped right now, they way you're hyping it up.

- I'm excited!

- I'm, like, nervous, but I'm excited,

but I'm more excited than nervous.

The last indian event we went to, it was awkward.

My dad happened to get cornered

by vishal's mother-in-law, lopa.

- No, 'cause it has nothing to do with us.

Don't want to get involved, don't--don't want to touch it.

- Welcome to taco bell, how can I help you?

- Can I get a chalupa with beans instead,

no tomatoes, please?

- Let me ask you, though. - Yeah?

- Like, would you try, like, a little piece of chicken?

- No! - Okay, just--that's it.

I mean, it's just a chicken.

- Brian!

♪ ♪

- so what do you want to work out today?

Arms?

- Arms. - And?

- Arms. We're gonna kill our arms.

♪ ♪

- dude, look at those arms.

Remember when we were kids and scrawny as hell?

- Yeah. Well, I was sick scrawny.

I was 80 pounds at the same height.

As a teenager I was diagnosed with crohn's disease.

- You know what?

Vishal never did speak about his crohn's.

Whenever you would ask him he would always say, "I'm okay."

and then he got really, really sick.

I noticed he was not even able to walk

and I was like, wondering,

what is going on with this child?

- She rushed me to the hospital,

I was admitted the same day.

They saw I was not absorbing any nutrients.

- Yeah. Very, very sick.

- I had blood coming out both sides.

- Both sides? - Yeah.

- There was, like, this vivid memory that I have

when I came to the hospital.

'cause my mom wanted to come visit.

- You came a lot. - I came a lot.

Even though you're my best friend,

it was just, like, I didn't know what to say, you know?

You're in the clear, right?

- The goal is to be in remission as long as possible,

but stress definitely triggers it.

- Okay.

- Yeah, so the gala-- if I gave that any importance--

- yes.

- I know I would be stressed.

- So I'm sure you don't want to talk about it.

- Uh, again, the gala--

basically it has something to do with my mom and richa's mom.

- Okay.

- Lopa auntie,

she spoke to auntie chitra about my mom.

- This is my worst nightmare. I didn't want this, like,

coming out into the open.

- I guess we keep things secret because of being judged.

- Indian culture, image is everything.

- Yeah.

- That Monday morning after the gala--

- yeah.

- Anisha bombarded me with a few messages

asking me what happened.

- Is anisha involved?

- No. - Yeah.

- This is me and richa, my fiancée.

- And your fiancée and your future in-law.

- And my future in-laws.

In my mind, it had nothing to do with anisha.

♪ ♪

[birds vocalizing]

♪ ♪

[dog barks]

- you wanna go good night? - [barks]

- what do you want?

Why are you so upset?

[doorbell chimes]

- hello! - Hi!

- Oh my god, you look beautiful!

- Where's nushki?

- Nushki is hanging out with her friend, chris.

- Too cool.

Do you like sake? - Yeah, I do.

- Let's go sit.

Um, I'm not offering you food

because I have no doubt in my mind

my mom will come over with some.

- I'm good.

- She came home all, like, show-offy, like,

"you know who I saw today?"

- and it was, like, me and my mom.

People probably think me and my mom

are gonna be like "grey gardens."

so my mom said we were going to the neighbor's house.

I thought we were going to, like, a distant neighbor.

You literally took me across the street.

In your car.

- This is my favorite thing to do, like--

- same. - I can sit, sip, gossip.

- And just be real.

I'm always, like, wary of, like, indian people.

Whatever happened at the gala

has changed my friendship with vishal.

He's still not talking to me.

Vishal's one of my best friends.

When I moved back from new york,

he really, you know,

motivated me to start hanging out with everyone again.

Except now vishal's gone radio silent.

Did he go to india?

You know how our community is with preserving reputations,

and so I've just been keeping quiet,

but at the same time, I'm not one to keep quiet.

- I feel like the mom, but pick up the phone and call.

- I did.

- I told her straight up,

"listen, it has nothing to do with you."

I don't know why she wants to, like,

throw herself in the mix of things.

- I feel like if you told her, "anisha, listen,

this is my business, just please stay out of it,"

she would, maybe.

- I basically wrote that into my message back to her.

- So you guys haven't been, like, chatting as much.

- Nah. - No?

I mean, if you're not talking about it

I kind of hope she gets the hint and just drops it.

- I need anisha to back the--off.

[laughs]

- do you mind me asking what happened?

- I don't want to talk about someone else and their family.

- Oh, I thought it was, like,

something that happened between you and him.

- No.

- I didn't realize there was family involved.

- I did nothing.

- Then I don't even want to know, quite frankly.

- Yeah, and I don't want to play telephone.

Whenever someone hears good tea in the indian community,

it spreads like wildfire,

and it becomes a game of telephone.

Everyone's calling, like, their relatives in india,

like, across the world, to tell them what happened.

Whether it's the truth or a complete lie,

we run with it.

We're not ride-or-die here, we're ride-or-lie.

I'm used to, like, resolving things.

- Especially with friends, right?

- Yeah! - [barks]

- our moms are best friends, they've resolved it.

- We're gonna see them all on diwali, like,

we're gonna be together.

- I'm going to fire tower. - Fendi, stop.

If you have an issue, talk about it and move on.

Wow. Really, fendi?

We're like family,

so I'm just hopeful that I can help

defuse whatever is going on between vishal and anisha,

just like an older sister would.

- I may be friends with all the aunties

and I may party with all the aunties,

but I'm no auntie.

- Coming up... - I'm getting more serious.

At the pumpkin patch, I told monica that I like her.

- Yeah, I love that.

Yay!

- What happened with you and anisha?

What's going on? - Nothing at all.

- You think she's crushing on vishal?

- Oh, yeah. They go through the window.

All the girls go through the window.

- That only happened once or twice.

- Oh, whatever.

We have a pair of heels in my garage still.

We don't even know who they belong to.

- She ran and left her shoes?

- She ran and she left her shoes.

- I totally forgot about that.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- so you're working on a new client list.

- Yeah, I've been, you know, meeting a lot of reps,

but actually kind of focusing on, you know--

- mia.

Come back here!

- Ma. [snaps]

- all right, looking at the charts for the last week.

- Benny, your clean clothes, I'll pile them in that basket.

- There's a couple of things we need to go over here.

[irreverent music]

okay, so in terms of hitting your numbers this quarter--

- you want coffee? - [mouths word]

- I really need you to get the whole team up to speed

on the conversations you're gonna have.

There are some people on staff

that still don't know the recent changes.

- I am so happy to have him at home.

He's working and he's saving his money.

- Oh, I'm saving. I'm saving, baby.

- And I know that I'm feeding him well.

[laughs]

- all right, thanks, brian. Talk to you later.

- All right, bye.

- What do you want to do for lunch?

- Order, or are you gonna cook?

- Didn't I cook last night?

- Yeah, but I don't like eating the last night the next day.

Usually, you--

- oh, that is for your wife-to-be, not me.

- Okay, fine. - My rules.

- Why do you keep insinuating this wife every morning?

- All right baba, you're not getting younger.

- Are you--

27!

Throwing this pressure on me now.

- It is my job to throw pressure at you.

- I'

I'm getting more serious.

So at the pumpkin patch, I told monica that I like her.

- Yeah! I love that.

Yay!

- Oh, (bleep) jesus christ.

- Here's the thing. I love monica.

And I definitely prefer indian.

- I mean, it didn't go to where I wanted it to go

but I want to show her that I'm not as immature.

- Listen, honey.

You're a great catch

and if she misses out, then it's her loss.

- Whatever he's destined for,

god gave him to me for a particular reason.

- 'cause I'm crazy.

- [chuckles]

- wish me luck.

[imitates explosion]

- okay, cool. See you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- nush?

- Hi, mom.

- Hey! - Hi, darling.

How was school?

- It was good.

- You look cute. - Thank you.

- How are you?

- You have a hole in your pants, anushka.

- That happened today.

- What kind of ragamuffin are you?

Who does that? Throw them away, please.

The ten years I was married to anushka's father,

I lived in india,

I was treated like the queen of the palace.

But, you know, I left with nothing,

and there's no such thing as child support

because there's no jurisdiction between india and miami.

And I'm a single mom. Every day, all day.

Nushki.

Okay, what is your plan?

- I did my applications today.

- And then what?

- And then I go to college.

- Have you done your laundry?

- No.

[keys clacking]

- are you listening to me? - Yes, mom.

- You should text it. - Should I text you instead?

So you can talk to me about what's happening in your room?

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm not your typical indian parent.

I have an open-door policy for her.

All her friends, actually.

- I had a party at my house this one time.

I was like, "where did five people go?"

they're all upstairs sitting on my mom's bed

talking about their, like, problems.

She's a cool mom.

And most of my friends think she's hotter than I am.

♪ ♪

- okay, babe, let's go sit outside

so then this one goes and gets her stuff done.

- It's clean. - Just...

- O'malley's fun.

He makes my mama happy.

- Do you want me to carry your glass for you?

- No baby, I'm good.

He lives in louisville, kentucky,

and we've been in a long-distance relationship

for over four years.

I'm like that "weird science" chick to him because he's so--

- science?

- "weird science" was a movie, anushka,

and it was very cool and she was very sexy.

[cymbal shimmers]

it's our anniversary next week.

- Oh!

- When's my birthday?

- October 23rd.

- My birthday? - July 23rd?

- July 10th.

- That's what I thought!

I'm not good with dates, you know that.

- You're getting better with names, though.

- Yeah.

- Like, especially the indian ones.

- Yeah.

- Because I'm dating a white guy,

I was so nervous to take him to india.

Her name is rachna.

- Reshma.

- No, that's my mom's name.

I was, like, "oh my god, I hope he doesn't get sick."

it does smell, it is hot.

The food is spicy, you are gonna have diarrhea.

I'm the one who got the diarrhea.

He was fine.

Who are we having dinner with tonight?

- I don't have to-- please don't do that.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[singer vocalizing]

- good evening.

Reservation's under bali.

- Lovely weather.

♪ ♪

- hi, how are you?

Mwah.

- I was like, "I'm the only one here

without my significant other, so I'll sit at--"

- the head of the table? - The head of the table, yeah.

So wait, when do you head out?

- Uh, Monday?

- You're not staying for diwali?

- No.

- Um, what's a good cocktail that's not too sweet?

- The sunny isles, it's right here.

- All right, let me try that.

- The t&t-- - really good.

- I'll try that, then.

- Can I just get an old-fashioned?

- An old-fashioned?

- Well, this was bali's idea.

- Where is she? - I don't know.

- Wait, you've met o'malley. - Yeah.

- We've both met o'malley.

- I love o'malley, he's awesome.

- He's a sweetheart.

- I mean, they seem happy. - They seem really happy.

Before they go to bed, they facetime each other.

And they'll just go to sleep.

- What time do you have to wake up in the morning?

- Do not wake me up, though.

- No, no, no, no, no. Don't mute me.

But just don't wake me up.

- So in the morning they're still on facetime.

- Supposedly.

- I hope they have unlimited data.

- I wouldn't facetime you every night.

[laughs]

you're lucky if I pick up your phone calls.

- I'm lucky if she texts me once a night.

- Sorry. - I know that she loves me.

- Yes.

- Thank you so much. - Thank you.

- Hello! I'm so sorry we're late--hi!

- How are you?

- You look so cute!

- Hi! Mwah.

- How are you, gorgeous?

- We've already ordered drinks. - Good!

I'm sorry we're late.

- What is this?

- Well, it's a bar of gold.

It's diwali.

I'm dropping hints to my boyfriend.

There's gold, diamonds on one side.

- So when did you get in?

- Last night at, like, 10:30.

- Late. 10:30.

- And you're here through the week.

- No, I fly back tomorrow night.

- All right, let's do the ceviche.

- The ceviche sounds really good.

- And arroz verde.

- Perfect, you got a table of brown people.

I'm sitting at a table of brown people,

I already included you in that.

- But no, I like spicy. - There you go, there you go.

[laughter]

- so what have you been up to this week?

- Anisha came over for a little bit.

- Wait, anisha?

What'd you guys do, just girl talk?

- You know, what's been going on with her.

I think that she's been feeling a little off.

So I asked her about it.

Part of the code in our culture,

you don't spill the beans,

but I don't live my life like that.

Just be real.

So, vishal.

[dramatic music]

what happened with you and anisha?

What's going on?

[tense music]

- coming up...

- With who?

I can't just pop a kid in a year.

- Have you been drinking?

- So vishal, what happened with you and anisha?

What's going on?

- Nothing at all. - Oh, see...

I got the opposite reaction from her.

- What?

- Listen, I just know that something happened at the gala.

She said, "vishal and I are not the same."

- so did I think there was an issue between us?

Honestly? Honest to god, no.

- Her perception is,

things are different between the two of you.

Are you allowed to tell me what happened?

- There's really nothing to talk about.

- Then why is this a thing? - It shouldn't be.

- I just want us to all be equally invested in each other.

Not because I want to gossip,

not because I'm here to hurt you,

but I just want us

to be transparent with each other, that's all.

- I do that, I do that, but--

- if you care about somebody

and there's even this much hope, call, fix it.

- I hate conflict.

Conflict causes me a lot of stress.

And that will 100% make my crohn's flare up.

- All right, let me make this simple.

Whatever happened,

or what anyone thinks happened at the gala,

doesn't involve anisha.

- Okay.

- And I don't know why she thinks it involves her.

- Then why does she think

that her friendship with vishal is over?

- I don't know.

- You go from being chatty mccathy--

- no, I--no, but-- - to radio silence.

- But I do that--

- 24 hours after there's "something"

that happened at the gala.

- I do that, I do that, but--

but listen, I--

she called me, 9:00 a.M.

- Okay. - And I was like...

"I'm busy at work, I have, like, meetings all day.

I'll call you back."

four hours later, I got, like, a text, like,

a really aggressive text,

saying, "where are you?" or, like,

"what's happened? Are we friends anymore?"

that was just, like, that was disturbing.

I don't even get text messages from richa like that.

- I think she's being a little shady.

♪ ♪

- tell us what you think of it.

- Say what you want to say. - Say what you think.

- I think she just makes up dramatic stuff

that's not actually happening,

and in her head, it's this big ordeal,

but it's actually not.

When anisha moved back from new york,

I think she saw vishal as her lifeline.

They've been hanging out a lot more,

but now she's almost acting like the best friend,

like, "I need to get to the bottom of this."

like, that's bullsh--, 'cause I'm here now.

The best friend is back from chicago.

This is my territory, let me handle it.

- She believes that you guys are best friends.

- Like, I'm sorry.

We're still much closer than anisha and vishal.

[tense music]

- how do you know that?

- He could confirm it, he's right here.

- Okay.

- Is vishal my best friend? He came out to me first.

- And I'm not questioning that, I'm just saying that because--

- I-I love-- I love anisha.

Do I still think of her as a really close friend?

I do. - Right.

- Amrit's a best friend of mine.

Anisha's another best friend of mine.

It's not a competition.

The food's good here, let me just eat my food.

- I know anisha thinks of you as her person, and--

- you think she's crushing on vishal?

- No!

- I-I love anisha. - I think she's crushing.

- No, no, no.

That's a sh---y thing, like,

amrit, you've just come back into the mix,

you can't just spread rumors like that.

Image is a big deal in our culture.

You don't want to be referred to as a home-wrecker.

Plus, it's vishal.

She wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[doorbell chimes]

♪ ♪

- hello, amma.

- Hi, ammamma. Hi, grandpa.

- Hi!

How are you?

- I'm good, how are you?

I ordered pizza.

- Oh, thank you.

[laughter]

- one of the best parts about moving back home

is all the time I get to spend with my grandparents.

- I'm extremely close to my parents.

My mother has helped me a lot when I gave birth.

Literally, like,

cleaning her poop and, you know, showering.

If she threw up, which she did at least 100 times in a day--

- because you didn't realize I had acid reflux.

- [chuckles]

I will come back to pick her up.

- Okay. - Yeah?

So you enjoy your lunch with anish.

- All right, all right, okay.

- Bye, darling. - Bye, mom.

- Bye, mom. - Bye.

- Yeah.

- Not enough to live alone.

- You're giving me a reality check.

- Grandpa...

[laughter] [doorbell chimes]

- thank god! The pizza's here.

Can he take me with him?

I ordered two veggie large.

- I think I'm having a tough time.

You know vishal.

We went from talking every day for hours

and now I haven't really heard about him,

and bali called me earlier

and said that amrit and vishal are talking sh-- about me.

- Amrit brought up something silly and really juvenile,

like, "she's shady, bali."

vishal downplayed the closeness of your friendship

and said you had blown up his phone.

Exhibit a.

At&t phone bill.

I'm still on the family plan, like most indian children.

These are all incoming calls.

Prior to the gala...

- They're from vishal!

I rest my case.

I feel like my indian group of friends aren't open.

I want to talk about personal life things.

We can talk about the weather all day,

but that's not gonna let me--

- maybe. Maybe some people...

- Yeah, which is--

indians are known for pushing things under the rug.

And not being open.

- I don't know why our family is so open.

I'm an open book, and I need to talk about things

and communicate things,

like, me and my mother talk about everything.

Most indians would not say,

"my daughter's 34, living at home,

starting her business."

- yeah.

- "she broke up with her boyfriend."

- they won't say. - "I'm not happy about it."

most people would be like, "my daughter's doing amazing."

- yeah.

- With who?

I can't just pop a kid in a year.

- Have you been drinking?

- No, no.

- That's me.

- Sorry, you? - Yeah.

- Yeah.

I know time isn't on my side.

Eventually, I want to have a family, but right now,

I just want to just focus 100% on my business.

Do I have it all right now? No.

No. Disclaimer.

So, early next year... - Yeah.

- I'm thinking of freezing my eggs.

- Mm.

- Are you talking about a real egg?

I'm talking about my eggs.

Ovaries.

Not chicken eggs.

- Okay. [chuckles]

- coming up...

[metal railing clangs] - oh, sh--.

- At that gala,

my dad was sitting next to richa's mom.

She vented about you, you know.

- Oh, my god.

- Yeah, I did. I did see them talking.

- Yes, we played a lot of bollywood movies at home,

and she was just totally enthralled with it.

This is a true-born indian.

- It didn't occur to me

that I couldn't compete for the miss india pageant

until I read the guidelines one day,

and it's, like, you had to be born in india.

And I'm like, "wait, but I'm indian."

- [chuckles]

[filmic beep]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- okay, so remember,

the first step, we're doing a side, right?

One, two, are you guys ready?

One, two! One, two!

I'm working nine-to-five during the day

as an hr software specialist,

and then as soon as I get off, I'm teaching dance classes.

Wait, paus

and there is this pressure to have an adult job.

[children shouting in unison]

unless you become super successful

and you're priyanka chopra, they're just like,

"okay, when are you gonna give this up?"

big circle, big circle, let everybody join.

What are we doing this dance for?

All: Diwali!

- Diwali, right? Okay, what is diwali?

- Yes, what else?

- Yes, wealth, prosperity, new beginnings, right?

Career means a lot to us, and not only that,

but there's also pressure for indian girls

to get married before 30.

I had, like, this uncle come up to me that's like,

"oh, I have a really great nephew in Spain."

I was like, "okay." [chuckles]

that's really far, like, I'm not gonna move.

Listen, you guys did awesome today in class,

and I will see you next week.

Good job, give me high fives!

I'm not that tall,

so I'm gonna try to keep it as tall as I can.

[laughs]

I'm not risk-oriented.

- Brian and I are opposites to some extent.

He has partied a lot, he has dated a lot.

I'm just extremely selective.

I'm looking for aladdin. [chuckles]

- idealistically, I'd love to find a jasmine.

- It's the closest disney character

that we have in that region,

so I'll take what I can get.

Al ad-din.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- yeah, dude! What's good, baby?

How's it going, man? How you been?

- Good, bro. - Good to see you, man.

- Aw, should've totally bring some brews.

- Damn it!

- That would've been actually super nice.

- Yeah, right? - Not gonna lie.

♪ ♪

look at this.

The space across from my crossfit gym

leased to a-rod, and he left a bunch of things behind,

so I just took his golf clubs.

- No way!

Dude, the legendary a-rod swung these clubs.

- Yeah. You're gonna try it first.

- Oh my god, dude.

I'm nervous to even use it, man.

- Just use it, dude.

- [exhales nervously] - make a-rod proud.

[epic orchestral music]

- come on, a-rod. - Oh, that was beautiful.

- I love jennifer lopez.

[metal railing clangs] - oh, sh--.

- See how far that went, dude?

- You almost killed me there.

- How was work today for you?

- It's been busy, dude.

- (bleep) you.

- How are things with mon-mon?

- Yeah, you know,

it's really been kind of weighing on my head.

- What's the most you've done with monica?

- Nothing.

- Not even, like, a make-out session

while one of you is drunk?

- A hug.

Or, like, if I'll mess around

and try to hold her hand, she'll, like, slap it away.

Let's do, like, a movie, movie.

- I guess you got to second base.

Touching, right?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, a shoulder tap.

Yeah, that's all I got.

- Are you going out to fire tower together?

- Yeah.

- It's, like, the premier event of the year,

like, that's diwali, it's our new year party.

- When it comes to winning over monica,

you gotta play the long game.

Fire tower, it's a new shot for me

to show her I've changed throughout the years

and I matured.

- Oh, that was beautiful.

- I have a really good chance with monica.

Like, 98%.

Your golf game's on point.

- At least one game. [laughter]

- but yeah, dude, how's, uh, everything with your girl?

- Everything's going awesome.

- What are we doing? Engagement party?

- Yeah.

What I wanna do

is plan a traditional engagement ceremony.

- Why don't you call my mom and ask her first?

[tense musical notes]

- so, I spoke to richa.

I am going to be speaking with her mama.

- I don't think vishal knows his soon-to-be mother-in-law

called him a moron at the gala to my dad.

- I wanna tell him, but I don't wanna tell him.

I'm kinda stuck in the middle.

I did want to get something off my chest.

At that gala... - Mm-hmm.

- Like, you know, it was our first time.

You know, my dad was sitting next to richa's mom.

[dramatic music]

- oh, my god. I don't know, um...

Stress really affects me differently than most people.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, I did. I did see them talking.

- Absolutely not.

It's not my business to think about

what people are talking about, you know?

If they want to include me, they'll share it with me.

- I know deep down my future mother-in-law's

gonna be super supportive and bless me.

Everything's gonna work out, I know that.

I'm embarrassed at the whole community now.

They'll say, "oh, look what richa's mom

"is saying about my mom.

This is why they're not married."

...You don't have to speak about it.

- I feel like a-rod right now.

- By planning this engagement party,

I can show the aunties and uncles,

"listen, you can move on to your next

subject of conversation."

it's now or never.

- Coming up... - Hey, lopa auntie.

I wanted to ask for your blessing.

- Yeah.

- Should I just do some yoga?

[upbeat music]

it's harder with a suit, though.

- I've split so many pants in the past.

[filmic beep]

[peaceful music]

[cell phone chiming]

- vishal, get up and work!

- [groans]

[percussive music]

- good morning! - Good morning.

Hi, minx.

- I didn't sleep well.

I have not spoken to lopa auntie since the gala.

♪ ♪

- oh, god.

My shaver just broke.

What do you think?

Do you think I'm nervous to get her blessing?

Have you seen lopa auntie?

Yes, I am nervous to get her blessing.

[tense music]

I proposed to richa.

Did she say yes to marrying me?

Yes.

But have the families said yes to each other?

No.

Hello.

Which is the purpose of the indian engagement ceremony.

Betty.

Can you, uh,

prepare just a letter of intent for the property?

I just emailed.

The worst thing that can happen is,

richa's mom is not on board

and then me and richa break up.

[suspenseful bell tolling]

[sighs] all right.

[phone chiming]

hey, lopa auntie.

- Hello, how are you?

- Good, good. How are you?

- All right.

- Are you busy right now?

- No.

- Uh, just wanted to, uh, talk to you quickly.

I spoke to richa and I do want to, uh,

plan our engagement party.

♪ ♪

- okay.

- I wanted to ask for your blessing

that we can have the engagement ceremony.

- All right.

- [chuckles] is that a yes?

[laughs]

oh, says "poor connection."

can you hear me still?

- Yeah, yeah. I can see you, I can see you.

- Oh. [chuckles]

uh, it's working from my end.

Can you hear me still?

- Yes. - [chuckles]

so that's a yes, yeah?

We can have an engagement party blessing?

- I guess so.

- Okay.

I don't know if I received a full blessing,

but even a half-hearted blessing from lopa auntie,

I'll take it.

Give me anything, lopa auntie.

You can't take it back.

No takesie-backsies.

We can, uh, start looking at venues when you come down.

- Bye.

[chuckles]

whew.

That went very well.

[upbeat music]

[musician singing foreign language]

♪ ♪

- hey, guys.

- I don't know how to do this.

'cause it's gonna get really heavy, right?

But you'll lift it for me once I put 'em all in?

You don't mind?

- No. - Thank you, chris.

♪ ♪

she's got a boyfriend.

- He's cute. [giggles]

he's cuban.

I don't think it's that important

to date an indian guy.

Mom at one point really wanted me to meet an indian guy.

She got over it.

- You see that bag over there?

Okay, that has all the diwali diyas.

- Diya means "candle,"

but it's not, like, just a candle, it's more like a--

- yeah.

Diwali is one of my favorite days of the year.

It is our indian new year.

Will you just carry

this one for me, though, 'cause it's heavy?

- Yeah.

- You're welcoming this goddess of prosperity,

so the brighter your home, she won't miss it,

so you want her to come visit your home

and prosper you with wealth.

[ethereal flute music]

okay, love you. Have fun.

10:00, okay, nush?

You smell good, chris.

- Thank you.

♪ ♪

[knocks on door]

- hi. - Hey! You look--

you literally-- I love that you brought a--

- well, I was like, "I should dress the part."

- I really want a collage in my house.

- Yeah, your gay handyman is here.

- Will you be in charge of opening?

- Yeah, I'll do wine.

You just wanted me to come over 'cause I'm gay,

to do arts and crafts with you.

- Correct.

- [laughs] that's a little offensive.

- Well? - I play sports.

I'm actually missing the game right now.

- Really? Which game?

- The game.

- The game? - The football game.

- Is there really a game? - No.

- Oh. [laughs]

- I have no idea. [laughs]

- okay, so we're doing thai.

Come.

You're gonna go be at fire tower, right?

- Yeah, we'll be at fire.

I think everyone's going to fire tower.

Yeah, I'm interested to see anisha.

- Okay.

- 'cause, truthfully, I messaged her yesterday

but she ignored me.

- Mm-hmm.

- And I, I mean, I have no idea why.

♪ ♪

I'm wondering if you talked to her.

- I did, I did.

- I mean, what'd you tell her?

- I told her everything that we discussed.

[dramatic musical sting]

- why?

- Um, because she's my friend and the minute I came home,

I got into the uber, I was--

- oh, so you, like,

instantly reported back what we said at dinner.

- Well, I mean-- - which is a little weird.

Did you we were being a little bit, like, abrasive?

- I think vishal was being downright untruthful

about his friendship to her.

- I don't know, I feel like she's painting this picture

like she's best friends with vishal,

which I'm like, "okay, I didn't know about this."

- so is that what's annoying you?

Like, be honest.

- It's just weird.

I'm not grasping my head around it--

- because it would sting me, like,

if I came back and I'm like,

"oh, my best friend has another new best friend."

but I promise you,

vishal downplays that friendship.

[dog yaps]

oh,

we're still much closer than anisha and vishal.

And that's what I said. I don't--

I don't really think he said that.

- Do I still think of her as a really close friend?

I do.

We need to get a court reporter

and just transcribe everything that's said.

- I'm glad we're having this conversation

before diwali, by the way.

- Yeah, I am too.

- Cause I would hate for you

to have walked in and, like, felt weird.

- No, and I-- - and I'm sorry.

I should've probably called you and told you,

and it's no excuse that I didn't.

- Yeah, a heads-up of, like,

"I told you anisha that you said all this sh--."

- you're right, I should've probably told you.

- Because then I'm like, "why is she ignoring me?"

and I gotta put two and two together, you know?

- You're right, and I'm sorry, I should've.

I love you so much and I hope you guys get to sort it out.

She's not crazy, she's not obsessive.

- This might seem completely outlandish.

- Uh-huh.

- There's no way that she...

Likes him more than a friend.

- Absolutely not.

- It seems like she's, like,

almost acting like she had a fight with her boyfriend.

Listen, it happens all the time.

- No, she does not like him.

- It happens all the time with girls and guys.

- She does not like him.

You're gonna say that not just once but twice?

- You think she's crushing on vishal?

- No!

I have to communicate this to anisha

because I just hurt for anisha.

Have you seen any messages or texts or anything

that she has said to vishal that makes her sound like

she's making a big deal out of things?

- No, I haven't, which is why

I probably need to apologize to her tomorrow

and just own up for what I said.

[indian classical music]

♪ ♪

- [speaking foreign language]

namaste, everybody.

[ethereal sitar music]

[speaking foreign language]

- diwali is the time of the year

that we celebrate the arrival of the light on the earth.

- [speaking foreign language]

- that's why you will see

that we've put a lot of lights, candles, everything.

- It's basically our new year.

Good conquering over evil.

- Diwali day is one event

I look forward to for the whole year.

Diwali is just a feeling

of love and celebration.

- It's family.

- [speaking foreign language]

- first we celebrate at the family level,

and then we go to a party

where we all celebrate together as a community.

- [speaking foreign language]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- happy diwali, fendi.

[phone line trills]

- hello? - Happy diwali!

- Hey! Happy diwali, hon.

- What time are you guys going to fire tower?

- Like, 8:00.

- Yeah, that's gonna be us too,

'cause we do puja in the evening,

so we won't be there until 8:00, either.

Listen, um, amrit came over last night.

- Mm-kay.

- He's like, "hey, so,

"do you know what's up with anisha,

like what's going on with her?"

I guess you maybe haven't responded.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- I didn't respond because,

like, I'm like, "what do you want from me?

He texts me daily and then pouts behind my back.

I find it very odd.

He's like, "why would you say that?

Why would you do that?" and I'm like--

- because I'm like, "because...

"vishal and you were talking sh-- for no reason.

It's not cool."

[indian classical music]

[all speaking foreign language]

- so eat something, amrit. - Yeah.

- You were two hours late today.

Why?

- I was tired.

I was at bali's house for a little while.

We had dinner, we talked, and she divulged.

She pretty much called anisha immediately after dinner.

I think she called her from the restaurant

and basically reported everything that we said to her.

She basically said

that you completely downplayed the friendship,

like there was really no friendship at all.

And, like, richa said--

- did I say that?

- No, you didn't.

- I've had my issues with the game of telephone.

You don't exactly portray your message

the way that person said it to you.

- Yeah.

- Bali, what the (bleep)?

Do I think the game of telephone sucks?

Yeah, it ----ing sucks.

- I just feel like we were completely blindsided.

- Amrit kind of touched on, like,

something that I know nothing about

and I really don't care about.

He's like, "do you think anisha likes vishal?"

- go (bleep) yourself.

I would never be interested in him.

- I know.

- Okay, clearly you're--

- no, and anish-- - god, please.

I'm disgusted right now that that was even an idea.

- Okay-- but I just want you to know--

- I want to vomit. - So hold on, let me get to--

- I'm really disappointed,

because idea's not ethical to me.

- And as--

- mm. - This is just gross and--

- well, no-- but I will tell you, well--

- like, I don't feel, though--

what is wrong with these people?

Amrit is more than happy

to add fuel to the fire, because,

you know, vishal's his friend, and he feels jealous.

- Amrit took accountability

and wants to apologize tonight at diwali.

- This negativity, it's so toxic.

- Just as a heads-up,

tonight at fire tower, I mean, I need to talk to anisha.

And--I mean, either apologize or just--I'd be like--

- I don't know, what do you have to apologize for, though?

- I called her shady behind her back.

That's--I kinda trash-talked her, right?

- Yeah, speaking behind the back, I guess so,

but I just wanna have fun tonight.

I don't even wanna have to deal with it.

- I'm just telling you, I haven't talked to vishal,

I don't know where vishal's head, brain, or anything is at.

- Have you talked to anisha at all, or no?

- No.

- Just have a conversation with her.

- I know. - You know...

It sucks that it's happening on diwali.

- Right?

- I'm sorry, again, like,

I feel like two times in a row I've made these phone calls

where I'm making you feel like sh--,

but I am telling you, I'm calling you right--

- no, it's okay, I just feel like

I'm dealing with a bunch of children.

- [speaks foreign language]

- they're just two mama's boys

with small dick energy

and a mediocre crossfit glow-up.

And they can go (bleep) themselves.

Happy diwali.

- Next time on "family karma"...

- Happy diwali, guys.

- Oh, okay, you too.

- I feel like I'm tony montana.

- Where did that come from?

- Remember the end of "scarface"?

- [laughs]

- we're at diwali.

This is, like, the night of the year.

- I'm going because monica's making me.

♪ ♪

[foreboding droning]

- what's up, girl? - What's going on?

- Monica looks great.

How many times do you get hit on when you come here?

- Why, you think I would? - Yeah.

The sparks, you just can't deny that.

- Vishal's dead.

I'm calling him nonstop.

I'm bothering him on the phone.

[dramatic music]

- I need to confront bali tonight.

I want to clear my name.

You're fabricating a story in your head.

- You're lying!

- I can honestly swear on my life,

I didn't say that.

- You swear on your life that you said

anisha's not making sh-- up?

Then guess what, guys, happy diwali.

'cause I'm done with this conversation.

- For more information on "family karma,"

go to bravotv.Com.

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