Original subtitles

- Previously on "family karma"...

- Our parents basically founded this community.

They had arranged marriages;

we had arranged friendships.

- We grew up doing temple classes as kids.

- We're gonna be friends always.

- Use that vagine.

- I've moved home and regressed 12 years.

It's a cluster----.

- Bye, daddy!

- I've known monica since sixth grade.

- You're gonna gaze at each other, and it's--

- fierce gaze. - Okay. [laughs]

- when we're at her house,

it's me and her talking,

her cooking and feeding me.

- Does it?

- Why are you, like, on me?

Richa is the love of my life.

We are in a long-distance relationship.

Half the time, she is living in memphis with her mom.

At the diwali kick-off gala, I invited all my friends.

I also invited richa's mom.

♪ ♪

if I tell you to leave vishal, are you gonna leave him?

Marriage means two families together.

But they try to cut me out.

[lively indian music]

♪ ♪

[woman singing]

[lively indian music]

♪ ♪

- seven years.

- Oh, god.

- You always make my mom seem so agitated; she's fine.

- She really scares you that much?

Chillax.

- The best-case scenario for this gala

is for our families to get along.

- Five years ago,

richa's mom, she talked crap about me.

I don't think she thought I had a job

and I was just focusing on acting.

- I was really offended,

because why would anybody talk about someone

that they don't even know anything about them, you know?

- It's because I'm dating her daughter.

- He's always been my baby.

You feel like you have to protect them, you know?

- Maybe, maybe.

This gala is magnificent, and I'm seeing all the girls,

and I'm like a kid in a candy store.

- Brian is my best friend,

so I'm trying to, like, scope out girls for him.

- Oh, my god, you're gonna try--

not that he needs the help,

but I'll be his wing girl, you know?

- I need a ----ing drink right now.

- Whatevs.

- Brian and monica,

they would be such a cute couple.

They spend all their time together.

They've got to be banging on the side, right?

- I'll do dewar's and ginger. Perfect.

- It's not bad.

- You were deeply engaged, and I just--

I didn't know what you were doing.

- About what?

I want nothing to do with this.

Next events I go to, if somebody wants to talk to me,

I'm deaf or I'm not there.

Like, I don't know you; you don't know me.

♪ ♪

- what? - No, I'm just saying.

I'm making a statement.

- I tried to wear a sari, and I had malfunction.

- I'm very close to reshma parvani.

We've known each other for 25 years.

- Our friend group, we've all grown up together

because our moms are best friends.

I call it the auntie army.

They're like more parents, and they're all spying on you.

- If you say so. [laughs]

hi, lopa.

How you doing? - Pretty good.

- Same here.

So how's life? Tell me.

- Even though we've known the parvanis for so long,

vishal really doesn't talk about richa and her family.

All I know is, he's scared of his future mother-in-law.

- I don't think I've ever told you this,

but, like, half the time, I think she doesn't like me.

- You know my family. We just want the best for you.

Poor thing. I'm scared of her.

- You're down here for richa planning her wedding?

- I don't know.

- She's a very good friend of mine, she is,

and I've not seen that side of her.

- Oh, my god, she's ranting about vishal's family.

There's no stopping her.

- I feel I'm in a hurricane

and I don't have shutters or anything.

You know, I'm just dying here.

Reshma's my close friend,

and obviously I have to tell her

what lopa has said,

because she's out here to sabotage a relationship.

She's very cocky and thinks she can get away with murder.

[seagulls squawking]

- if you asked me five years ago

where I would be right now, I would never have told you

I'd be living with my parents,

trying to start a clothing line.

I would have told you I'd be married,

with kids and a family.

So #fail.

I'm excited to see lourdes.

She said wear red underwear for love,

yellow for prosperity, green for harmony.

- Yes, so I'm wearing a floral with green leaves.

- That sounds like a hot mess, mom.

I'm meeting my spiritual guru, lourdes,

because I've a lot going on, and I don't have the answers.

I hope she's in a good mood.

I love consulting psychics.

You know, a called a guy in wyoming named charles.

And, you know, I didn't know him.

I called him on the phone. I, like, paid him 60 bucks.

And he said I'd be married.

This was about three years ago.

I'm still not married, charles.

In fact, I live at home now.

Charles.

[both laugh]

- life has unexpected bumps, so that's a golf cart.

- That's true.

Can you believe I still haven't heard from vishal?

- Give him time.

- Everything with the gala,

it's just been so dramatic and annoying.

Right after the gala, my mom told vishal's mom

what auntie lopa said,

and now it's a sh--show.

I've been trying to call vishal

to make sure he's okay.

But he hasn't responded. I've received nothing.

It's definitely out of character.

We usually talk all day every day.

He calls me first thing in the morning

while he's taking a sh--.

- Maybe he's fighting with demons,

like, "oh, what could have happened?

What did they say?"

- hey, you sleep through all your alarms?

Huh? Don't you need to get ready?

- No, I want to stay in bed.

- Well, that's not possible.

- Anisha's actually been blowing up my phone

since the gala too.

- What does it have to do with her?

- That's what I said.

I was like, "does it involve us?"

no, it involves the parents. They'll handle it.

- The only thing that my mom said about your mom is,

"she's still ignoring me."

- I planned this gala so they can actually speak properly,

and the exact opposite happened.

Now I have a lot of other things on my mind.

"will this affect me and richa's relationship?

Can we get married?"

I don't know what to do.

I wish we could just brush everything underneath the rug.

I don't want to talk about it

with anisha or my friends.

- I don't think that anisha's just gonna ignore it, but okay.

You let me know how that goes.

- That's what he likes to do.

He doesn't like to talk about anything.

But at some point, you wonder, like,

"when are you gonna grow up?"

with us, there's no rug.

- Eventually, the dirt has to come out,

because it can make you sick.

Here we are. I'm all ready for it.

[doorbell chiming]

hi, lourdes!

- Welcome!

- So good to see you. - You too.

Let's try to be completely north

and next to the sun.

- Are we north?

- Yeah, that's what I'm checking.

- Yeah. - Lie down, please.

- I love lourdes.

- She met the de-lie lama.

- Dalai lama.

- Yeah, and she does the tibetan healing.

[bell ringing] - she knows what she's doing.

- She went to china to cure herself, she says, of lupus.

She's come out of it.

- She claims to have seen the light.

- And now you are gonna visualize a big bubble

that is growing, growing, growing,

growing around you.

And it's expanding, expanding, expanding a lot.

Three, two, one.

[bell rings]

now, how do you feel?

- I feel great, lourdes. Thank you.

- These are from iceland.

They're real viking runes.

[stones clattering]

- will my business be successful?

- It will go a success.

- Will I have a kid?

- Yes. You're gonna have a kid.

- Okay.

- Oh, my god. [laughs]

I'm very excited, because I know

she's going to be such a great mother.

- Can you look her eyes?

Can you look her face, how she looks so happy?

- Coming up...

- Divorce still was kind of taboo in our community.

When I finally got divorced,

I realized that I ruined my child's life.

- If it was up to my dad, it would have been arranged.

- Our parents wanted a doctor or some bullsh--, whatever.

- My mom really had to fight for love,

and it inspires me to do the same.

I am looking for an indian girl,

and, you know, idealistically, I'd love to find a jasmine.

- Okay, yeah, but I mean in the indian sense.

[light upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- lucy! I'm home!

- Hi. - What's up?

- You have to continue to work while--

- well, yeah.

I mean, I'm never done working until, like, 5:00.

- Listen, what I have been saying to you

for I don't know how many months:

Your room has to be in order.

Can you tell what are your dirty clothes,

what are your clean clothes, from the piles that you have?

- Yes, you know what that's called?

The smell test, okay?

- Yuck! That's such a--

why are things on the floor?

- Well, I'm backed up. I told you this.

- What the (bleep) does "backed up" mean?

- Have you ever been behind on something?

- Never.

When you have your wife, oh, my god.

- She's gonna understand.

- Please give him a wife, because god help me.

Let me show you.

- In the indian community,

until I get married,

living at home is definitely normal.

- I love you at home, but step it up a notch.

Your future wife has high expectations.

- So he's in training, basically, right?

- She's like, "oh, my god, you're an idiot,"

is pretty much what she said.

- No, I didn't say that.

- Oh, (bleep). - Oh, my god.

- Nia broke my ----ing hanger again.

- Don't blame my dog right now.

- What do you mean? You let her in my room.

- Look at this.

I gave you a container for socks.

You can't even zip it up.

- But there's a lot of socks, so I got to dig through them.

- That's not my problem,

mr. Participant of the "socks club."

- look, I got donuts on today.

- Sweetheart, listen. This is bad.

You know, you're an adult.

- I will not be living at home till I'm 40.

Hell, no.

I thought we agreed

that if I'm gonna stay in this house,

it's partially mine.

- [laughing]

♪ ♪

- me and vishal usually have our weekly lunch,

but he's gone radio silent.

I mean, this is someone who would tell me

when he was shaving his chest, waxing his eyebrows,

and now I don't know what's going on at all.

- Hi. Ah, I see her.

- You look stunning, as usual.

- You look gorgeous too. - I love your hair back.

- How are you? - I'm good.

Are you gonna drink? - Yeah, done.

Where is our waiter?

- Yeah, I would love to order some food.

- Oh, I love the wagyu beef tartare roll.

- You said that like an indian.

- [gasps] I did? What did I say?

- "vagyu beef."

- which one is it? Wagyu?

- All I know is, you said "v."

- [laughing]

- everyone knows bali.

- She's fabulous, and she does her own thing,

and she doesn't give a (bleep).

- Bali's always been like my auntie.

Basically, she's friends with my mom,

but she also tries to be friends with my friends.

- She's in her 40s,

so she is technically an auntie.

But I can't call bali an auntie.

I mean, look at her. She's so hot.

♪ ♪

- I'm here!

Just a tad late.

- Thank you very much.

So, clearly, I'm not your typical indian woman--

not just because all of this

but also because I've been married and divorced twice.

My first marriage was to a very wealthy man in india.

We had a beautiful daughter, anushka,

and I lived a really fabulous life.

Unfortunately, the marriage started falling apart,

so I left.

- I gave up a lot of money.

I mean, there was a button on the side of my bed.

If I pressed it incessantly, they knew

I just wanted somebody to do this

to my arms or to my feet.

I miss that button so much.

- I'm so glad we're, like, having sushi on a Tuesday.

- I know. I love it.

And my shoe just broke.

[both laugh]

see? - They're cute.

- I mean, but what just happened?

- Oh, my.

- Can I get you guys anything to start?

- I was thinking the big-eye tuna.

- Do you guys have, like, an extra pair of shoes?

I'm not even joking.

- I'm so sorry. - No, it's not your fault.

- That's terrible. - I'm very close to bali.

We think the same way. We laugh at the same things.

- No, but don't tell me.

- "shoes breaking, meaning."

oh, my god.

- What does that mean?

- Nothing, 'cause I know it's not true.

That's why I think it's funny.

- What is it? Tell me.

- That your sex life is dusty.

- Oh, really?

Because I'm almost 40-blah-blah-blah years old,

and it's the best sex of my life right now.

O'malley, my boyfriend, we've been

in a long-distance relationship for a few years.

He is an olympian weightlifter.

He's massive.

What's been going on with you, babe?

Have you fully adjusted to living back at home?

- The price of living at home

is just my mom telling me to get married every day.

- Now, is it just a general conversation,

or is it a vishnu conversation?

- It's a vishnu conversation.

I was with an indian guy named vishnu for 12 years.

I was killing it. I was the perfect indian girl.

Things have changed.

We both put our careers first,

and we're not together anymore.

- Was vishnu your first boyfriend?

- First everything.

- How long did you guys wait before you had sex?

- It's extreme.

- [laughs]

- I waited three years.

When it finally happened,

I felt like an old hag having sex.

Like, it was about time. "let's get it done."

- what's next?

- I thought I would be married, with a family by now.

- I can't sit here and, like,

"oh, marriage is the best thing ever."

it's not.

- The clock is ticking. I'm 34.

And not a clue, for the first time in my life,

of what the next step is.

- I call bullsh-- on people

that say they have it all figured out.

I mean, I wing it every day, anisha.

I wing being a parent.

Just go be happy. Just do you.

- Thank god for bali,

because she's the complete opposite of vishal.

She has nothing to hide. And she talks a lot.

- Are you kidding me?

My other shoe just broke.

- Oh, my god. - [laughing]

what is going on? - What is wrong with this?

- You just have a bad sex life.

- Coming up...

- Like, how do you really feel, though,

I mean, like, as far as friends?

Like, that's where your head's at.

- Yeah. Where's your head at?

- You know, I think-- I think a little more.

- I was 24.

Mommy was the first one I met, actually,

and then I shopped around, saw a few others...

- That is so wrong. That is so wrong.

I would never get an arranged marriage.

Hell, no.

- I wouldn't do it again either.

[upbeat indian music]

♪ ♪

- oh, wow, look at this.

- Who's this little guy? - Simba.

- Did we want to order anything for little simba?

- Yeah, the boca chicken.

Thank you.

- What time is it in india?

- 9:30 at night.

I was in india for four weeks.

- Hi, daddy!

I wish I was in india right now, I'm not gonna lie.

We're not just father and daughter.

- We're buddies.

- It's kind of like a bonnie-and-clyde combo,

only, like, we don't rob banks.

- No, we would never rob a bank.

- No. - No, that would be wrong.

- He's actually eating.

So my new thing is, I want to go to budapest.

- Budapest? That sounds interesting.

- Do you have, like, a bucket list

of things that you want to do?

- Lose 40 pounds. That would be--

- no, that's not a bucket list item.

Jump out of a plane?

- That's on your list, not mine.

What else? Hmm.

- Do you ever feel like you want to, like--

like, I'm not a fan of the whole dating realm, but...

- Oh, we're going there. [laughs]

I don't think I'm ready for that.

Or right now, I'm not really interested in that.

- You ever feel like you're, like, alone?

- Mm...

It's okay. It is what it is, right?

- The indian community promotes painting a perfect picture.

When you go through a divorce

in a community where all eyes are on you,

there's almost, like, a little bit of shame attached to it.

I missed you at the gala.

- Oh, really? - It was nice.

Why did you, like, not want to, like--

'cause you were very, like, uninterested

in the indian community for a little bit.

- I think after the divorce,

I think I just kind of lost interest.

- But do you feel like when you did go around it,

did people, like, probe questions?

- A little, and I think that's why I just kind of said,

"you know what? I'm staying away from all this."

- yeah.

- Monica was 15 when her mom and I got divorced.

I was overcome with guilt,

and to this day, I carry that guilt,

because I realize that I ruined my child's life.

- No, you didn't. - Well...

In this society, you have that pressure.

I felt like they looked at me in a different way,

and that's why I think I withdrew from society.

I just didn't want to deal with it.

But remember, monica, we're going back

13, 14 years ago.

The word "divorce" still was kind of taboo in our community.

- Huge, like--

- you know, I didn't want to put you in the middle of,

"why is this going on?"

you know, I didn't want that.

- By you not coming,

then people ask, "where's your dad?"

- well, I did come for your dances every year.

- It felt like all of us went through a divorce,

like me included in it.

It taught me so many life lessons.

It's really hard to just get in a relationship with anybody,

because I want to be so careful with who I pick.

Like, I don't want it to be two households,

'cause that was hard on me.

I think simba has the -itis. He's, like, knocked out.

- Oh, 'cause he ate so much.

You little heifer.

♪ ♪

- you getting your hair done today?

- I think I'm just gonna get a beard trim.

- I just got mine cut on Tuesday,

so I just need a drink.

♪ ♪

- cheers.

- I was out till 4:30 last night.

I might have to not drink as much.

What's up, man? How are you?

- How's it going, bro? - Good.

- We brought a ton of jameson, shaan.

Feel free to let it flow.

- I also brought a bottle too. It's really good.

- See, that's a classy bottle. He brings a full bottle.

- Shaan patel is like my baby brother.

I've known him his whole life.

- I look at shaan as mr. Miami.

- The patels created the indian community here.

They were one of the first indians here.

♪ ♪

the patels are extremely wealthy.

- They all live on the patel compound.

- I love going to the compound.

You can't miss the statues.

- Totally different. No one else has it.

- I don't want a statue.

- Not in my house, because I may be scared

when I come down and see something like that.

[ominous music]

- I'm not a fan of the statues.

It's a nice house, though. Nice house.

- Beautiful property.

- Ooh, can I try it a little bit?

- Yeah. - Oh, my god!

[laughter]

- can I try his beard next? - No.

- What's going on, bro?

- Sorry I'm late, man.

Let me get some ginger ale too.

- No, you're drinking it straight, like a man.

- Oh, my god, there's one-upmanship

all the time in indian culture,

especially indian guys.

It's always like a competition.

- I can drink you under the table.

- What? - Don't get me started, bro.

"well, I drink bourbon."

it's like, "well, I drink the best bourbon."

- amrit, you were out till 4:30?

- Yeah, apparently, I thought I was turning 21 again.

And it was fun.

- All right, I'm in the chair.

- So you got rowdy last night, or you kept it--

- define "rowdy."

[music blaring and people cheering]

at no point in the night was I like,

"oh, my god, I am about to"--

- like, cheat? - Yeah.

I trust myself, and I know

I can do the long distance with nicholas.

But 30 minutes away from south beach.

Everyone on south beach has, like, 4% body fat.

Gorgeous men.

I'm not gonna promise you that I'm not gonna look.

I'm gonna look.

- Also, now you're living in your parents' house.

- I know, maybe-- [laughter]

- not a lot of options for you to do that in.

- What I say to girls, 'cause I'm living at home,

I'll just say, "yeah, you know, I got roommates."

- have you brought monica home?

- Nope, never.

- Is there anything going on with you and monica?

- Ooh, ooh.

- There should be, though.

You'd be an attractive couple.

- Wait, so is there actually something happening?

- I don't know, to be honest with you.

I don't know where her head's at.

- Are you ready to be serious?

- I mean, I'm always-- I mean, nothing's set in--

I mean, she didn't say anything.

I mean, nothing's been established.

We're not dating, so--

- [stammers] she's really weird with dating.

- Why do you say that? - Uh-oh!

- Is this weird that, like, mom and bali

kind of set this up?

- I don't know.

- Yeah. She tells me everything.

- Unimpressed.

- Do you like indian girls, or do you like white girls?

- I've never dated an indian girl in my life.

- But it's the pressure, right? Our parents.

- My parents would prefer I married indian,

but they know they can't control their kids.

- My brother married, like, non-indian.

- Yeah. - He had to deal with hell.

- And you ended up with richa, which is really fortunate.

- Yeah, yeah. - She's indian.

- The first time I met richa's mother,

richa was like, "oh, you're gonna have it so easy,

because you're the first indian boy I'm dating."

[sighs] you can't win them all.

Thursday is my seven-year anniversary.

- Yes. - Ooh.

- So I told amrit to help me plan my date.

- I mean, what are you thinking?

- She loves animals. - Oh.

So it's a seven-year-versary. - Yeah.

- And then now it's peaches and cream.

- Yeah.

- My dad happened to get cornered

by vishal's mother-in-law.

- I'm gonna keep my mouth shut,

but in the indian community especially,

fights among families can totally destroy an engagement.

- Coming up...

- I was really taken back by lopa.

I just feel it should have been one-on-one with your family.

- So if they want to judge me

based on somebody else's opinion, go for it.

[laid-back music]

♪ ♪

- image in indian culture is really, really important.

When I lived in bombay,

I was the beauty editor at elle india.

I was always dressed like a christmas tree,

dripping in diamonds.

♪ ♪

oh, sh--, it's already 12:00.

- Uh, no, not exactly.

Hey! How's it going?

Hey, it's bali. What up?

Listen, mike, I have orange crush, two boxes.

I'm now doing sales and marketing

for fresh-cut flowers.

How can you tell on the invoice who the farm is?

- But what a frickin' pain in the ass, though.

I mean, I guess working in an office

has its own...Charm.

Camilo, you know what a colonic cleansing is?

No? - No.

- I want one, by the way.

I'm, like, constantly full of sh--

'cause I'm constipated.

- Oh! [laughs]

- I want to get one,

but I'm not sure how uncomfortable that would be.

- Yeah, it would be a little awkward.

- Right? - Yeah.

- Anal is just for special occasions, meryl.

- [laughs]

the advantage of being an indian princess.

- Most people think I'm foolish

to have left my first marriage.

My ex-husband has (bleep)-you money.

But I'm now a single mom

paying all the bills.

- My mom has been in the business for many years.

I love it. I love being here.

I love being here.

Actually, like, I hate working.

I hate working. I don't know why.

Like, I don't want a career.

I don't want to save people.

There's nothing fun about it.

That bitch who burnt the bra, I want to slap her.

And I know that's a terrible thing to say,

'cause I have a 17-year-old daughter.

Anushka and I, we have a unique relationship.

- We're really close.

- Do you think I should wear the white outfit tomorrow night?

With the white top or with the green one?

- Green. The white top looks old.

- But my stomach is not where I want it to be.

I haven't always been

the ideal role model,

but I'm just doing my best as a single parent

working really hard

to be this amazing provider.

- My mom's a bad bitch.

- Well, if I do say so myself.

When I moved back, I had to make sure, like,

I was available for anushka.

That's what I'm really grateful for

as far as, like, the industry I work in,

because the hours are really fantastic,

and I'm--like, I realize

I'm doing damage control right now,

because a lot of nonsense just spewed out of my mouth.

Can we please cut the "burn-the-bra bitch" comment?

Oh, my god.

♪ ♪

- hey. - How's it going?

- Are you vishal? - Yes, we spoke on the phone.

- Richa. - Nice to meet you. I'm ryan.

- Nice to meet you as well.

- So you guys ready? - Yes.

- Okay, come with me. - Don't know what I'm ready for.

- It's like an adventure.

- We're celebrating seven years.

- Really? - Yeah.

[lemurs howling]

- this is our first stop, okay? So this is the lemurs.

Now, this is gonna be interesting.

You are totally safe. You are a female.

The queen lemur will identify you as female.

You, I just want you to keep your head lower.

- You are not safe.

- We want to the queen to know that you understand

in her world, like, you are down here.

- How excited are you? - I can't contain myself.

- Okay, in we go. Hey, stinkpots.

- Okay, head is down.

- Okay, come on, angels.

- Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

- So the queen went right to you.

You're good. - Hi!

Oh, no. [laughing]

- the queen likes me. - She does like you.

- After seven years,

I'm committed in this relationship.

Why do they all like you?

My mom hasn't made it easy for him,

but that's one thing that I like about vishal,

that he hasn't given up.

He's constantly willing to fight to make me happy.

- Good job, guys. - Didn't attack me.

- Do you want to do a photo with our parrots?

[parrot squawking]

- whoa. [laughs]

- yeah, seven years.

- Hi, kangaroo.

- Aw, you're gonna be such a good mommy.

- What? Oh, my god, I'm gonna die!

My dream just came true.

♪ ♪

- oh, my god.

So this is how a penguin says, "I love you."

- you don't do that when I come home.

- I know that our parents don't get along,

but I want to show all the aunties and uncles

richa is my girl at the end of the day.

We're gonna get married...

Eventually.

- Thanks for coming.

Both: Thank you so much. - Thank you.

- So much fun. Really, really appreciate it.

I'm so hungry now. - I'm starving.

- Hi! - Hello.

- Hi. How are you?

- Can I get two chicken sandwiches?

Thanks. - You're welcome.

Enjoy yourself. - Thank you.

- Listen, the reason why I planned this date...

- Well, it's our anniversary. - It's our anniversary.

- Are you proposing to me again?

- So what I was--

- why are you so nervous? - No.

- You're, like, spazzing and shaking.

- What I want to do is

plan a traditional engagement ceremony.

I proposed western style,

down on one knee.

But in the eyes of her mother,

we're not officially engaged until we have the roka ceremony,

and we put that off.

For what reason?

- Really? You want me to name them all?

- So then we're legally allowed

to start courting each other, from what I read.

- Why don't you call my mom and ask her first?

[birds shrieking]

[laughs] - shut up!

I'm gonna call your mom first, before anything; I know that.

At the end of the day, if either one of our parents

are not happy, I don't see marriage as a possibility.

- Ah, yeah, if my mother said, "richa,

I am honestly not happy with this,"

I may have to take a step back.

But she also really likes you as a person.

- We've been engaged for two years,

and everyone keeps saying

that a long engagement's not good.

[phone bleeps]

[sighs]

I have to see anisha at the pumpkin patch.

- After the gala, vishal went awol.

But like the good indian planners that we are,

we've actually planned

a pumpkin patch weeks in advance.

- No, never.

We don't cancel. We show up.

- What are you gonna do?

- I'm just not gonna talk about the gala.

- [laughing]

you're gonna waste a fry.

- Coming up...

- I can split my tongue in half.

- No, you can't. - Yes, I can.

- Let me see it.

Is that real? - La la da da.

- These past couple months, I'm not gonna lie;

I just started looking at her differently.

[upbeat indian music]

♪ ♪

[ominous musical sting]

- I would love to talk about the gala,

but he's refusing.

- With vishal?

[laughing] I don't have a car.

I'm excited to see everyone.

- I hope anisha doesn't try

bringing the gala up again to me.

I'll ride to the pumpkin patch with her.

She's my friend.

But I'm not gonna speak

about my personal business to her.

Hell, no.

- I love how we're all, like, wearing flannel

in 90-degree weather.

- People are gonna think we're so stupid.

- Yeah. - I just really wanted

to feel like fall.

I wanted us all to wear flannel.

And we look good.

- I do.

- I was getting fomo

watching everyone on instagram

in the cold, wearing their flannels.

- That literally is my life.

Well, we're here. It looks super cute.

- This is really cute, actually.

[phone buzzing] - pinto farm.

- Oh, this is bali calling me.

Hi. We're pulling in right now.

- Hey. Okay, I just got here too.

- Are you wearing flannel?

- Yes, I'm wearing flannel.

I'm wearing boots.

- Okay. - Winning!

- Okay, bye.

I got the pumpkin patch flannel memo,

but you don't put all of this in flannel.

- You're not wearing flannel!

- [laughs]

I didn't realize we were serious about the flannel.

- Yes! - I love bali.

But when we were growing up together,

I was this, like, geeky 10-year-old,

and she was this, like, gorgeous 20-year-old.

- I want to take a picture of you guys, though.

You guys look really cute.

Look uncomfortably cold.

- I only got close to her

when I was starting to come out.

She was super supportive,

and I was like, "hey, listen.

"I like men, and you're crazy,

so we're gonna get along really well."

- oh, my god!

You guys wore flannel! - Oh, good, flannel.

- Thank you. - What's up, man?

- Hi! It's so good to meet you finally!

- Isn't she, like, a mini selena gomez?

- Good job, shaan.

- Shaan patel,

he's definitely one of

our community's most eligible bachelors.

- Should we start off by buying, like,

a milkshake or iced drink?

- So pooja better not (bleep) it up.

- Let's go inside. It's hot.

- It's really hot.

- I'll text monica and say, "meet inside."

- oh, yeah, here we go.

It's hot as sh--.

I'm glad I didn't wear any flannels.

- She looks like she's going to the beach too.

Why did we wear flannel?

- How are you? - This is pooja.

- Hi! It's so nice to meet you.

How are you? - Good. How are you?

- Hi. - Hey. How are you?

Shaan's a really sweet guy.

- Oh, man.

- What?

Bali and the aunties set that up.

And then, like, randomly,

we bump into both his aunt and his uncle.

[laughing]

now they're gonna be on your facebook,

on my facebook.

- This is why, like, indians have to date in secret.

- I agree.

It's not happening.

- Did you guys come together? - Mm-hmm.

- Are you guys dating? - No, carpooling.

- What's the deal? - Ooh, serious.

Dude, carpooling is really serious.

- Take it down a notch. - We're carpooling as well.

- I'm carpooling, but I'm not dating them.

- The carpool with benefits?

- More like the awkward carpool. - No, just carpool.

- I'm not buying it, but okay.

- [gasps] - you just said, "ask--"

- no, no, no.

- We've always had this, like,

very complicated dynamic, I guess you could say.

But for the last few years, it's been, you know,

just friends.

Well, except for... [mumbling]

[laughs]

okay, so two years ago, I did like him,

but he didn't like me, and now...

Yeah, so we do this thing every so often.

- There's a magic show. You'd love that.

They'll make little balloon animals for you.

- I can split my tongue in half.

- No, you can't. - Yes, I can.

- Let me see.

Ew! - [laughs]

- is that real? - La la da da.

- In the past, she's told me she likes me

in a kind of random way every time.

But these past couple months, I'm not gonna lie;

I just started looking at her differently.

I just like her a lot more than I did ever.

- Who wants the paddleboat? - Me.

- I don't think the aunties should paddleboat.

- Okay, I'm gonna go on it.

- All right, I'll go with you, vish.

- What do you want to do? - Let's just watch.

- Okay. - All right, so how are we

running this operation?

- Let's go in pairs. - Okay, I'll go with pooja.

Sorry. [laughter]

- all right, here. I'm gassing up.

I'm going first gear. Let's go. Move.

- Vish, are you steering? Hey, guys.

How's the romantic getaway for six?

- I love it.

- This is like old-school indian

when everyone goes on, like, a group date.

- Yes. No hanky-panky!

- There they are. - Hi, guys!

- So they literally have to paddle themselves?

I'm so glad I didn't do this.

I want to be relatable with my younger friends.

It's just hot. It's sweaty.

It's muggy. Let's get water.

There's nothing cute about this one in the sun.

Jalapeno peppers. - Oh, my god, yum.

Here, share. I'm so hungry.

- I don't want the bread.

- Oh, you don't want the bread. - No.

So you do what you need to do,

and I'll eat just the chicken.

- Are you eating cheese? - No.

- Nothing.

Yeah, bali's vain.

That's all our moms.

That's, like, an auntie thing.

Sometimes she does auntie stuff.

Sometimes she does the things we do,

like go to a pumpkin patch.

You couldn't pay an auntie to go to a pumpkin patch.

- Please don't call me for a pumpkin patch again.

- Waterfall!

- Stop, we gotta pedal. We gotta pedal in.

[all yelling]

- get away from it! - No, monica!

- All right, guys, I want to get off this ----ing boat.

- Do you think monica's dating?

- No idea.

She kind of keeps her personal life to herself.

- I actually like her and brian together.

- I asked her.

I was like, "are you guys dating?"

and she was like, "no, we're carpooling."

- pumpkin!

- All right, guys. Let's paint.

- All right, let's go over there.

- Where are the lovebirds?

- Me and amrit? - No, the other ones.

- [laughs] "me and amrit."

- I don't think those two are lovebirds.

- Not like you. - But look at them.

- By the way, mine's coming out terrible.

- Mine too. I'm just painting the whole thing blue.

- Yeah, me too.

How annoying were all the monica-brian jokes?

- I didn't--oh, yeah.

I don't even know how to respond.

Sometimes I'm just, like, awkward.

I just chuckle. "ha ha."

why can't I just be friends with somebody

and not have to date them or like them?

You know what I mean? - Right.

Like, as far as friends, like, that's where your head's at.

- Yeah. Where's your head at?

- You know, I think-- I think a little more.

- A little more what?

- Like, as far as friends,

that's where your head's at.

- Yeah. Where's your head at?

- You know, I think-- I think a little more.

- A little more what?

Did you watch a bollywood movie before we came here?

'cause this is what you do, and then, like,

two seconds later, you're fine and you're at the club.

Like, are you thinking right now?

Like, we've done this before.

I told brian that I liked him,

and he ran the other direction.

Like, you go to a bar

and, like, try to hit on ten girls.

- Does that stuff, like, really weigh in?

Like, when you think about me, you think I'm, like, a joke

because of all that sh--?

- Yeah. - Really?

- Yeah.

- I'm not really ----ing around anymore.

What have I done the last year?

Look at this new and improved brian that you're seeing.

- Are you trying to sell me a little bit?

- I'm just saying, don't count it out.

You know?

I ain't going anywhere.

Let's just put it that way.

- I don't know what you want me to say.

- Vishal, how long have you been engaged?

- Um, almost two years, about.

- Oh. - It's been long-distance.

Is that the excuse of why we're not married yet? No.

- Is there any hesitation that she has or no?

- No, it's really-- my painting sucks, by the way.

I don't know what I'm doing.

- Vishal and richa,

there's nothing healthy about long engagements.

- That's the other issue I have with people in our group.

Like, we should know these things.

And I know it's not our business,

but some people aren't as open.

Since all the drama at the gala,

we're kind of in a delicate situation,

because I'm not just friends with vishal.

I'm friends with his entire family.

His mom's best friends with my mom.

And what the (bleep)?

No one's talking to anybody.

♪ ♪

- hi.

I just saw you driving up, so I...

I was extremely uncomfortable at the gala,

because I've known reshma for 25 years.

I feel lopa was using me

to get a message across.

- It's a family affair, so why drag me into this?

Like, I just had to go and see reshma

and clear the air.

Did you eat lunch?

- I'm a little hungry.

Hi. How are you?

- Hi. Welcome. I'm good. How are you?

- Good. - We'll order the truffle fries.

- Truffle fries? Okay. - Yes.

- We'll have the heavy food. - [laughs]

I'm happy we are doing this, because to me,

you are a very dear friend.

I was really taken back by lopa.

I just feel it should have been one-on-one with your family.

What was she thinking?

- I have no idea. - That's my thing.

- I always feel like I'm so friendly,

that people should be able to talk to me,

and yet I could never reach out to her, right?

- Yes, yes.

- I don't know.

I don't think I went out to hurt anybody.

I don't think so, but the world knows me very well.

People know who I am, so if they want to judge me

based on somebody else's opinion, go for it.

- When this wedding happens, I'm just standing by your side.

- You better stand by my side.

- I'm not going to be anywhere near her,

because I look at her like a danger zone now.

- I know.

- Before we get married, I do want to plan, like,

an official engagement ceremony,

which we never had, and that's something you normally do.

- So when do you want to do that?

- I want to do that pretty soon,

but I first want to run it by the parents too.

And I think that's also gonna start

having our families come together.

- What my goal is: The kids to be happy.

- Yes. - It's not about me.

It's not about lopa.

- Like, you'll have to plan with her.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Yes. [laughs] you'll need it.

- When the time comes,

in order for these kids to really get married,

it is crucial for us to sit together,

but I have no expectations about that.

- I mean, I guess as long as marriage is the end goal.

- I wouldn't lead someone down a path

that we're gonna get married

unless we are gonna get married, right?

- There's no other person for me.

I want to have a big family wedding,

'cause family is very important to me.

- Let's go get monica and brian.

- I am cautiously optimistic

that me and richa are gonna get married

and have kids and she's gonna be happy.

- We need one group photo, guys.

- Right in front of the pumpkins.

- My mom's gonna be happy. Lopa's gonna be happy.

Time heals all wounds?

- One, two, three, cheese.

- Not gonna say sorry for things that happened

five years ago,

and I cannot keep saying sorry forever.

I've done my part, and that's it.

Can I ask you a question?

I don't want an interview to talk about her anymore.

If that can stop, I would really prefer it,

because I've had it.

I feel like crying right now, and I don't like that.

I don't want to be put in that position.

And I've been put into this position too many times.

I'm sorry.

I cannot take this anymore.

- Next time on "family karma"...

[upbeat music]

- oh, sh--.

- I'm thinking of freezing my eggs.

- [laughs] - why is that funny?

- What the (bleep) is that? - You need a coupon?

I got a coupon! - Stop.

That's the most indian thing I've ever seen.

When it comes to winning over monica,

you got to play the long game.

- I haven't heard from vishal.

It's just hurting me.

- What happened with you and anisha?

What's going on?

- You think she's crushing on vishal?

- No. - No.

- I think she's crushing. - No, no, no.

- He's like, "do you think anisha likes vishal?"

- go (bleep) yourself.

- Okay, clearly you're--

they're just two mama's boys

with small-dick energy,

and they can go (bleep) themselves.

- For more information on "family karma,"

go to bravotv.Com