All language subtitles for Craig.Ross.Jrs.Monogamy.S01E02_English

(logo swooshing)

(bells dinging)

(bright music)
(rocks crumbling)

- Hey, you must be--

(gasping)
Oh, oh.

- Oh my god.

- What in the,

What are you doing?

- You're my husband, right?

- What's left of him.

Oh.

- Oh my god, you
really should not

creep up on people like that.

- God, you're blaming me?

- You're right.

Look, I'm sorry.

(bright music)

Welcome home, honey.

- Welcome home, honey.

Oh, don't touch me, oh my god,
I did not sign up for this.

- I'm sorry.

- Oh!

(bright music)

- Uh, may I help you?

- Maggie, right?

- Are you --

- Sawyer.

Your brand, spanking
new husband.

Of course spanking
not sold separately.

- Did you lose your key, Sawyer?

- I heard someone inside,

so you obviously
beat me to the punch.

I mean, no pun intended.

But you're here, so I figured

it would be more gentleman-like
if I was invited in.

- You mean like a vampire
needs to be invited inside?

- Yeah, I've been known to bite
a few necks here and there.

- Quite the gentleman, huh?

- Yeah.

- Enter.

Don't get any ideas, Count Drac.

I don't have any
crosses, but I do know

how to protect myself
from evil spirits.

- Nice flowers.

Guess it gives the
word, redundant,

a whole new meaning.

- Which is also a synonym
for thoughtful, thanks.

- Your welcome.

- Huh, uh, I'm sure
there's another vase

around here somewhere.

What's the notebook for?

- For working things out.

- Hm.

- Hey, um, what is that
terrible ass smell in here?

They didn't fumigate this place?

They didn't know we were coming?

- Sage.

- Sage what?

- That nasty smell is sage.

It's used to purify
spaces and open them up

to good energy while clearing
out the negative energy.

- Oh, you were serious
about that whole warding off

evil spirits and shit.

- Sage is healing and
I thought it might be

a good idea to add a
bit to this bizarre,

blind date routine
since healing is one

of the reasons we're here.

- Oh, it might be
healing to you, baby,

but to me, it's
gonna make me puke.

All right, and
that's saying a lot

for a man with strong
intestinal fortitude,

you know what I'm saying?

Stink.

- Wow, I miss my
husband already.

- Yeah, um, whatever,
can we crack a window,

open a door, or something?

It's starting to smell
like booty up in here, man.

It's my, my eyes
are watering up.

I could, I could
taste it in my mouth.

(soft music)

- Wifey number two, I presume?

- I'm somebody's number one.

- Touche!

- Sincere.

- Really?

- Yeah, really.

- Sense--

- Sincere.

- Sincere, it is a
pleasure to meet you.

I'm Connor.

So, I guess we stuck
on this island, huh?

- Yep, nobody to vote
us off but ourselves.

- Hey, you in this for
the long haul, right?

'Cause I'm really not
into being anybody's

guinea pig or
anything like that,

but I made a promise
that I'd show up

for this shit
show, so here I am.

And I don't make investments
in shaky companies,

no matter how good
the product may be,

or how well this thing is
paying and it is paying well.

We gonna do this or what?

- I'm not a quitter, you?

- Ah, I like that.

I ain't gonna be the
one calling uncle.

Yo!

(soft music)

- Are you my husband?

- I don't drink.

- Oh, no problem.

Well, you have to eat.

I made dinner,
it's in the kitchen

so, when you're ready, we can
sit down to a proper meal.

- You had time to cook?

You must have been here for
awhile, it's impressive.

- Okay, full disclosure,
I didn't make dinner,

I bought dinner,
but believe you me,

my selections are impeccable.

- Look, I appreciate all the
trouble you went through,

um, selecting, I'm
just not hungry.

I just wanna take a
shower and settle in.

Nothing personal.

- Really, 'cause if
this isn't personal,

then I don't know what is.

Trying to save my marriage
is the most personal thing,

I have ever done.

As preposterous as this
experiment may be, I'm here.

- Look, we're here for
the same reasons, okay,

I just need a few minutes
to thaw out, that's all.

Beyond belief, I'm really
not good at pretending,

this is awkward, after all.

- That is perfectly
understandably.

Please, make yourself
at home of course.

If there's anything
that I can do

to make your stay
more comfortable here,

then don't hesitate
to call on me.

I'm entirely at your service.

- Diandra, right?

- Yes.

- That's a pretty
name, what's it mean?

- Divine.

- Of course.

- And you are?

- Dallas.

- As in Cowboys, as in I
was conceived in the city?

- As in resting place,
Scottish, originally,

the name, of course.

- Resting place,
hm, I don't see it.

- And it also means strong
as a bear in etymology,

you know, if you
prefer that definition.

- Hm, now that I can see.

Cheers.

- Afternoon, Diandra.

(soft music)

* Sincerely love

(phone vibrating)

* My heart I send this from

* Straight to my soul

* For all I know

(phone application dings)

- God, dogs make me so happy.

When I was a kid,
after a lot of begging,

my parents got me a puppy
and they made me promise

that I would not let
the dog sleep with me.

I thought I should
have disobeyed them

and let the puppy sleep with
me, but I took it outside.

It was cold.

Peanut was dead, frozen.

Guess whose fault that was?

Mine.

So you can only imagine
the guilt that I felt

when our um,

nevermind, that's enough.

* Fall in love

* Falling in love

* I wanna be, I wanna be yours

* I wanna be yours

* Lifting me up, lifting me up

* Your lifting me higher

- Oh come on, I know you're jaw

still can't hurt from
yesterday, can it?

Should I call the paramedics?

I mean I know they
took our phones,

but these pre-programmed
ones have the basics,

Uber, 9-1-1, no--

- No thanks, I
don't trust doctors.

Natural remedies only.

I'll be fine, god willing.

- Huh, religious type,
churchgoer, all of that.

- Well, I never heard
it put like that before,

but, yes.

- Okay.

Heathen here.

- I figured you're trying
to break the ice before, uh,

breaking something else on me.

- You're safe for now.

You know, you must bring
out the funniness in me.

I don't really get
points for humor at home.

- Yeah, well, what do you
get credit for at home?

- Training, organizing, book
balancing, holding things down.

- Hm, well I guess
we're doing this now?

- We're doing what now?

- Digging, you know, for
reasons why we're here.

- Why are you here?

- I don't know.

To heal.

- Yeah, I guess that's
why we're both here.

- (sighs) You know,
this is certainly

a symbolic and unexpected start.

- (laughs) Well, you're welcome.

Maybe I can do something
nice for you later.

(piano music)

* Anybody but you babe

* I don't want anybody

* But you baby, yeah, yeah,

(phone application ringing)

- Let's see what you
talking about little woman.

- For the record, I don't
really dig this thing.

Videos, photos, some
things are forever,

you know, maybe I
don't want them to be.

Like this shit right here.

You know what's
underneath this sleeve?

Some asshole's initials,
so I tried to add

some stuff to it and
make it nice, you know.

I don't know what to do
about this one right here.

I was for sale once.

But no more.

Nobody owns me, but me.

- Hm, I like her already.

(metallic rustling)

- Hey, hey, wow, okay,
um, I didn't realize

that you were...

- I've taken a lot of
shots to the noggin, baby,

but my hearing's
still pretty good.

I woulda heard a simple hello.

- That's because I
was a bit confused.

I heard this, this strange noise

and I, I just thought...

- You thought what?

What exactly did you think?

- I just um, wondered if
you were okay, that's all.

- I'm fine.

Look at me, I'm perfectly fine.

- Is there something
else you needed?

You want me to help
you with something?

Because I aim to please.

- As a matter of fact, there is.

Would you mind clearing out?

I was really hoping
to use that room

to meditate and do yoga.

That room has the best
energy and feng shui.

- The fung swhat?

- That room,
energetically, works best

for meditation, yoga, by design.

- Hm, I don't know nothing
about no fung sushi,

but I know what organically

feels right.
- Yeah.

- And that room does
have the best energy.

I can't argue with that.

So, you can work out
over there, I don't mind,

while I do my stuff over here.

- See, I can't, I can't meditate

with you panting
and um, punching

and making loud
noises right outside.

And not to mention the smell.

- My smell?

- It's like an
unbalanced mixture of
man sweat and Drakkar.

(Sawyer chuckles)

That smell kinda
lingers, you know.

- So what are you saying,
is that good thing

or a bad thing?

'Cause last time I checked,
you was up in there

smelling like stink-ass sage.

- Okay.
I'm just saying.

- Sawyer, what is it with you?

You don't even know me.

Can you ever be serious?

Are you always on 100?

Everything with you is a joke,

or, or a flirt or innuendo.

That is a lot of
protective gear.

Clearly you don't mind
showing off your physical,

your physical self, but
when it comes to exposing

your authentic self, you have
more layers than an onion.

- An artichoke.

- What?

- You may think I'm
simple, like an onion,

but I'm a lot more
complex, baby.

Onions, when you peel them,
there's nothing there.

But you peel all the
layers off an artichoke,

what do you have?

- A heart.

- Exactly.

Now you get it.

I can be serious,
but that's the point.

People take life
way too seriously.

And all the time, at that.

It ain't no time for that.

Life is short.

And laughing makes
you live longer.

Laughing makes you live happier.

But you wouldn't know
nothing about that,

'cause you barely
alive and when you do,

it doesn't even reach your eyes.

And I wonder why?

But I see you.

I see you a lot
more than you think.

You can continue to hide behind

these stink-ass
attitudes you got

and all these extra
clothes, but I wonder

what you gonna reveal,
an onion or an artichoke,

when all the peeling
is said and done.

(phone vibrates)

- Oh fuck this life,
man, oh fuck it.

I'm tired of all
this ugly, bullshit,

what people do to each other.

Where can I find some fucking
peace, just a little beauty?

Anything, anything
worth living for.

After all I've seen, I know
I can't save everybody,

but damn it, if I
had a fucking kid,

maybe I'd be eternally
useful, you know,

eternally needed, eternally
of service to someone.

I don't know, what's
the fucking point

bring a kid into a fucking
ugly world like this?

(dramatic music)

- Mm, that's nice.

I haven't had one
of those in a while.

- Oh that's a shame,
'cause I'm enjoying

watching you enjoy it.

- Those glasses
only hide your eyes.

I've seen you before,
your type, I mean.

- I have a few ideas
about you, myself.

- Oh, okay, hm.

- You set your own boundaries,
make your own borders.

- Doesn't everybody?

- Not like you.

'Cept there was a time when you
couldn't do it for yourself.

Something else was
controlling you.

(phone vibrating)

- Uh, yeah, um, this is
like, okay, you know,

we almost didn't come here.

We had sex just before
she got in the car

and for a moment, you
know, I thought it gave us

a new lease, that
we didn't need this,

but then it went
cold, she went cold.

She couldn't get in
the car fast enough.

I don't know if she blames me,

or she thinks that I blame her,

but it's like our
dirty little secret

that we don't deal
with each other

as man and woman at all anymore.

And it's torture, really.

And the truth is, I don't,

I don't know if we'll
ever be that way again.

Happy to be near
each other, you know.

It's unbearable.

(timer beeps once)

(soft music)
(Dallas sighs)

(microwave beeping)

(microwave door creaks)

- Thanks.

Thanks.

- You're welcome.

- So uh, you don't cook?

- I don't have to.

- Hm, that means?

- I have a maid.

- Interesting.
Why?

- You said, "I have a
maid", not we have a maid.

Does the maid work for
you and your husband

or just for you?

- She works for the household,
I just pay for the maid.

Look, my husband is a
good man, very proud.

I think I just
admire him for trying

to make his own way and
not rely on the obvious,

I have money, he doesn't.

I love him, I just want
us to have a good life.

- Lifestyle your accustomed to.

- The lifestyle that I want
us both to be accustomed to.

What, it's a good life,
there's nothing wrong,

or evil, or bad about having
money, clean money anyway.

- Clean money?

- What's your husband do?

- He's about to
become a stockbroker,

but he does have a past.

He moves pharmaceuticals
and not in the going

door-to-door, suit and tie
to hospitals kinda way.

- Interesting.

- Would you stop saying that?

It's obviously code
for your disapproval

and I don't need your
approval or your opinion.

I think I liked you better

when you were giving
me the cold silence.

So you not gonna say anything?

- Just giving you what you want,

Queen Divine, lover of poodles.

- Ho, ho, ho, Queen,
the Queen wishes

that you be a little more
friendly, or I don't know, game.

You did agree to participate
in this little charade.

- That's true, matter of
fact it was totally my idea.

- Huh, interesting.

An aspect of you that
I haven't seen yet.

- What's that?

- Hope.

Hope that this world might
not be so fucking ugly.

- You got me hooked
on this stuff.

- [Sincere] Fruit water,
it's good for you.

- It's everything.

- You look nice.

- Well, thank you.

Now let's keep winning,
I mean, either one of us

were jumping for joy over
this whole experiment,

but I mean, if we in
it, since we here,

we gotta go ahead and
respect the game, right?

- You know, Connor,
you've got vision

and the rest of the
world wears bifocals.

- I like that!

And what you wearing, baby?

- Shades, baby, 'cause
my future is so bright.

- Oh, jump now.

- As far as this
experiment goes,

I'm gonna give it
everything I got.

- Yeah, hell, what
other choice we got?

- Right?
Yeah.

- Well, we in there,
like swimwear.

- Okay.
No Speedos.

- I like that, I
like that a lot.

We in there, like

- [Both] Swimwear.

(Sincere chuckles)

- No Speedos.

(Connor laughs)

(soft music)
(Sawyer knocks)

- Hey, it's not exactly
an olive branch,

but it's the best I can
do on such short notice.

* Baby I been thinkin'
you can do better *

* You been thinkin' no
one compares to the love *

* That you think that you have

* Gave your heart and
he ripped it in half *

* I've been wishing
we'd cross paths *

(Maggie laughing)

* You've been wishing
someone would crash *

* Into your heart in
the palm of their hand *

- That's framed! (laughing)

* Chase your love with
your heart well man *

* You found me, you found me

* Oh, but you won't let him go

* Girl I know that you're
searching for a reason *

* So stay strong

* He tells you that he
loves you, you don't go *

* You keep thinkin' up
excuses to hold on *

* For makin' it a hard
decision to move on *

* Just let him go, let him go

(both laughing)

* Just let him go, let him go

* Just let him go, let him go

* Makin' it a hard
decision to move on *

* Just let him go, let him go

* Just let him go, let him go

- I enjoyed that.

- Yeah, it was definitely
unexpected to say the least.

- Yeah, it kinda reminded
me of dancing with Matte,

with my wife.

I-I'm sorry.

- No, please, don't
apologize, okay.

Not all of my ideas
are gonna be winners.

I'm gonna head to bed.

I'll see you in the
morning, I guess.

- At what point did I get the
power to make you feel bad?

- I said, it's fine.

- No, no, it's not
fine, okay, it's not.

What are we doing here?

I don't even really
know you, but yet,

I feel guilty talking
about my wife,

I mean this is crazy.

- I thought you said
you were here to heal?

- Why so I can realize I
don't love my wife anymore?

I don't need to
be here for that.

- Uh, look, we're all here
for our own reasons, okay?

- Goodnight, Carson.

- Wait.

- Those puppies
were cute, right?

- Look, um, I know
you meant well

and um, it was
fun in the moment,

but, uh, it just, uh, it
made me remember I-I-I lost--

- Hey, hey, hey.
uh unh, uh unh, uh unh.

- What did I do?

- You know, I just
really don't think this

is a good idea at all.

I just, I just can't.

- Mag, listen,
whatever happened,

it's not your fault, okay?

- Don't you dare try
to pretend to know me,

little boxer boy, you don't.

(both laughing)

- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
they got the food poisoning!

- I'm glad I ate before
this movie, that was nasty!

- Oh my go!

- That felt good.

- Thank you for the movie.

- Yeah.
It was fun.

- Um, I think I'm
gonna go for a walk.

- It's late.

- Yeah, I, I, I, I just
need to clear my head.

Just being honest, this
is, this is a little weird.

I mean I really
appreciate the laughter,

but I haven't laughed
like this with,

with my wife in um, I
don't know how long.

And it just feels wrong so soon.

I'm gonna work this out.

I don't even know if I
can, I'll see you later.

- Dallas, you don't
know if you can,

but do you want to,
figure it out, with me.

- If I say yes, I'm betraying
someone I love dearly.

If I say no, I'm
doing that same person

an injustice because I'm
not even fucking trying.

If all goes to shit, I,

how are you so sure?

Don't you love your husband?

- Yes, dearly, that
is why we both agreed

to give it everything that
we got, no holding back,

that is the only way
we're gonna be able

to see what we need to see.

- Maybe you should
just go back to him,

I mean he really sounds like
the perfect man for you.

- How can he be the
perfect man for me

when I'm afraid of him?

- Look, we all have our demons.

- No, no, no!

It's not the same,
not even close.

- Well how do you know?

- Because he's a bad guy and
he's good at playing good.

But you, you're a hero and--

- This whole thing
was a fucking mistake.

- [Sincere] It was
nice of you today.

- [Connor] Oh it wasn't that.

Come here, let me see you.

Oh, yeah, that's gonna
heal up real nice.

- Ow.

- All right, there you go.

- Looks good?

- Oh yeah, it looks good, yeah.

- Can you tell me what it means?

- Love has no price.

- I, I think it's better if
you go back to your room.

(Connor sighs)

- [Connor] Um, uh, why?

I mean we've done nothing.

We've done nothing wrong,
we don't have anything

to feel guilty about.

- 'Cere, what are doing?

- Don't, don't, don't
call me that, okay,

just being here makes me
a horrible human being.

- Why?

- Because he
dragged me from hell

and told me I was somebody and
then married me to prove it.

The most upstanding,
righteous man I've ever seen,

looked at me and
said, I see you,

I wanna make you my
wife, when everybody else

just spit on me, that's why.

- Yeah, aight, go
ahead and leave,

'cause you know you're
not doing yourself or him

any good if you don't
answer one question

as honestly as you can.

- Yeah, he saw you then,
when you needed him,

yeah, he saw you, but
does he see you now?

Because I know
what it feels like

when the one person you
need it from the most,

can't see who you are now.

* Like a man stuck
in the water *

* I'm lost and don't
know how to leave *

* And I hope that I never
find another love like you *

* Like you

* I try to fly but
can't get no higher *

* It's where I am it's
so hard to breathe *

* So I should never
love another like you *

* Like you

* Oh, oh, oh

- Don't fall for her, asshole.

* No I shoulda
never let you go *

* And that's the way
that it's just gotta be *

* That's the way that
it's just gotta be *

* Sometimes you love
someone you never thought *

* You would, it's true

* Oh, oh, oh

* Sometimes you love
someone you never thought *

* You would, it's true

* I feel the waves
keep getting stronger *

* There's no more
land, I'm in the deep *

* Maybe one day you will
find a missing piece of me *

* Of me

* Now that the tide
is getting lower *

* Now the shame is history

* I hope that I
could choose her *

* And that love for me

* Maybe

* Oh, oh, oh

* What did I think about it

* No I shoulda
never let you go *

* And that's the way that
it's just got to be *

* That's the way that
it's just got to be *

* Sometimes you love the one
you never thought you would *

* It's true

* Oh, oh, oh, oh

* Oh, oh, oh, oh

* Sometimes you love the one
you never thought you would *

* It's true

* You gotta let them know

* You gotta let them know

* Sometimes you gotta know

* When you gotta
let them know. *