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Dre: I'm a great dad.
No, I'm the greatest dad.
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00:00:04,250 --> 00:00:05,829
If Nas and Michael Jordan
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00:00:05,830 --> 00:00:08,669
had a baby that was
a great dad, it'd be me.
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00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:09,749
Tuition.
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00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:10,959
Paid in full.
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Cash?
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I threw a little something
extra in for you.
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Pah-pow!
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00:00:15,331 --> 00:00:17,579
I support them academically.
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00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:19,789
Dad, I'm having
the hardest time with algebra.
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00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:22,329
Well, good thing you
came to the math king.
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00:00:22,330 --> 00:00:23,789
If Nas and Michael Jordan
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00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:26,499
had a baby that was
great at math, it'd be me.
14
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:29,499
And I'm always there for them
when they need me the most.
15
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:30,999
Hey, son.
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00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,079
Yeah. That street cat
chased me up here again.
[ Cat meows ]
17
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,829
Yeah, you're gonna have
to stop walking around
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00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:36,459
with meat in your pocket.
19
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:37,959
Hey, Bow!
20
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,169
Gonna need my ladder.
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00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:44,329
I pride myself on being
the GOAT of dads.
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00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:47,829
So, if there's something
I'm not doing, it's news to me.
23
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,289
Good morning.
24
00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:50,669
Dre Johnson, right?
25
00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:51,959
Yeah.
26
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,209
Vincent Broadnax.
27
00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:54,170
New dad here.
28
00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:56,669
Oh! Hey, Vincent.
Welcome, man.
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00:00:56,670 --> 00:00:58,709
Always good to have another
brother at the school.
30
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,709
Hey, if there's anything
I can help you with,
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00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:01,919
I got your back.
32
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,709
Well, there is one thing.
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00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:04,749
Anything.
34
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:06,079
I'd like you to volunteer for
35
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:07,709
the Valley Glen Give Back Day.
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00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:08,749
Nope.
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00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:10,499
I thought he was going to ask me
38
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,169
which teachers are racist.
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00:01:12,170 --> 00:01:13,419
Volunteer?
40
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:14,420
No, thank you.
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00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,669
♪♪
42
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:23,620
Volunteer?
43
00:01:23,621 --> 00:01:24,789
Come on, Dre.
Hey!
44
00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:26,119
It's gonna be fun.
45
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,249
The Give Back Day carnival
is a chance for our kids
46
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,999
to see their parents
getting their hands dirty
47
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,669
and to do some good for
our Valley Glen community.
48
00:01:33,670 --> 00:01:36,169
Hey, you know what, man?
I'm really busy at work.
49
00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:39,289
You know, client dinners,
e-mails, reports.
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00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:41,289
I... You know how hard
it is to get out
51
00:01:41,290 --> 00:01:42,669
from under all
that stuff, right?
52
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:46,379
Well, actually,
I'm a stay-at-home dad.
53
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:47,419
Oh.
54
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:48,619
Okay.
55
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,919
That, um... Good for you.
56
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,999
Yeah. You know, it's the best
job I've ever had.
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00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,329
I know you're busy.
Mm.
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00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:57,749
But don't you think
it's important that dads
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00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:58,999
stay involved in
their kids' lives?
60
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,459
Uh, you know, man?
Hey, I'm cool, alright?
61
00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:04,329
A-As a matter of fact,
I'm overly involved.
62
00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:05,379
You know?
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00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:07,579
M-My kids tell me to back off
all the time.
64
00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:10,039
All I'm saying is you
can't get these years back,
65
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,619
and they go so fast.
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00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,380
I'm good.
67
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,999
Alright, Josh, you have our
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00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,579
undivided attention.
Go.
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00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:21,829
So, what's AT&T TV?
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00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,209
It's the new premium TV service
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00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,499
for all your
entertainment needs...
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00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:26,749
[ Book slams ]
W... Oh, no.
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00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,419
You guys aren't
gonna believe this.
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00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:32,499
This dad at school said I'm not
involved in my kids' lives.
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00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:33,789
What?
Me!
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00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:36,499
Okay. Uh, Josh, you now have
half of my attention.
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00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:37,879
Oh. Okay. Great.
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00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,169
Uh, so, as I was saying,
with AT&T TV,
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00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:43,499
you can find what you love
with a voice command.
80
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,789
For instance, to find
"The Bachelor,"
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00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,039
just say,
"Play 'The Bachelor.'"
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00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,040
It's that easy.
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00:02:49,041 --> 00:02:50,419
Outstanding work, Joshua.
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00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,919
I just have one question.
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00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:53,579
Who does this dad
think he is, Dre?
86
00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:54,919
I know, right?
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00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,209
Because I am super involved
in my kids' lives.
88
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,249
Mm-hmm.
Guys, if I could just
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00:02:58,250 --> 00:02:59,459
finish this... Besides, I have
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00:02:59,460 --> 00:03:00,499
a full-time job.
91
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,499
My schedule is jam-packed.
Yeah.
92
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,829
I work a hundred hours a week.
93
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:05,919
Oh, whoa. A hundred hours?
94
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,169
It feels like it.
Okay.
95
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:09,749
Meanwhile, this dude has
all the time in the world
96
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:12,119
to volunteer because
he is a stay-at-home dad.
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00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,419
Ha! I-I think you
misheard that.
98
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:15,669
I think it's pronounced
"stay-at-home mom."
99
00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:17,539
Mnh-mnh.
So was Mrs. Doubtfire.
100
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:19,379
Hey, let's watch it on AT&T TV,
the new premium...
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00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:20,499
Charlie: This guy is
Damn it!
102
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,329
A stay-at-home dad?
103
00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:23,290
Yep.
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00:03:23,291 --> 00:03:24,749
Is he under house arrest?
105
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:25,710
Mnh-mm.
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00:03:25,711 --> 00:03:27,499
Witness protection?
[ Scoffs ]
107
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,829
Is he a ghost?
108
00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,459
Look, I work my fingers
to the bone to provide
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00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,169
an incredible life for my family
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00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:34,829
while this dude goes goat yoga.
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00:03:34,830 --> 00:03:36,669
Hmm.
You know what?
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00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:39,079
I'm not gonna even
let him get in my head.
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00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,169
Woo-sah.
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00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:43,879
Let's all just take
a break and order lunch.
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00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,459
That is a great idea, Dre.
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00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:46,499
[ Clears throat ]
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00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:50,039
AT&T TV, eject three
meat lover's pizzas.
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00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,119
[ Clears throat ]
119
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,289
Charlie, that's
not how that works.
120
00:03:54,290 --> 00:03:56,039
I understand.
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00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:59,080
Eject three cheese pizzas.
122
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,750
They're cooking.
123
00:04:04,670 --> 00:04:05,500
Hey, guys.
124
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,420
- Hey.
- Hey.
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00:04:06,421 --> 00:04:07,499
Oh!
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00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,419
So, that's what
Steve Harvey's been up to.
127
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:11,329
Anyway, I know you
didn't get your flu shot,
128
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,039
but the hospital
just got restocked.
129
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,419
Oh, okay. Cool.
I'll make an appointment.
130
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:16,789
Oh, no, you won't.
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00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,459
Rainbow, why are you
trying to inject my grandson
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00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,209
with white people
mystery chemicals?
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00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,669
Oh, Ruby, please tell me
you're not one of those people
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00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:26,829
that believes in
the conspiracy theories
135
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:28,209
around the flu shot.
136
00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:29,789
Ruby, you need to get one.
137
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:32,209
You are in the demographic
that is most likely
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00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:33,539
to die from the flu, Ruby.
139
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:34,999
You're old.
140
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,829
You don't need to
repeat your Big Fluoride
141
00:04:37,830 --> 00:04:39,289
talking points to me.
142
00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:42,379
I know the government uses
those flu shots
143
00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:44,619
to shut up strong Black women...
144
00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:47,669
Joycelyn Elders, Lauryn Hill,
145
00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:49,829
the first Aunt Viv.
146
00:04:49,830 --> 00:04:51,119
I didn't know any of this.
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00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,249
Well, it's true.
148
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,329
No, it's not,
and don't listen to her.
149
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,669
This is a woman who
shoves a clove of garlic
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00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,329
up her butt at
the first sign of a cold.
151
00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:01,669
And I haven't had
a cough since 1979.
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00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:02,829
Ruby...
Wow.
153
00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:05,749
This is a flu shot house, okay?
154
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:08,579
The shot is
perfectly safe, Junior.
155
00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:11,169
I'm a doctor.
You can trust me.
156
00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:17,879
I only trust three doctors...
Scholl's, Mae C. Jemison,
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00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,459
and that cute little
white boy in the scrubs
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00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,499
that played keyboards
for Prince.
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00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,789
[ Laughs ]
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00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,539
The next day,
I walked on to that campus
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00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:28,039
secure in my dad-hood.
162
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,499
Why is your volcano so heavy?
163
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,119
What did you fill it with?
Real lava?
164
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,329
What? Volcano?
That's a termite mound.
165
00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:34,959
Keep up, Dad.
Okay, look, that's what
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00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,459
you get for having
your mother do your homework
167
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:37,499
for you, alright?
168
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,669
This does not look like
a termite mound.
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00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:40,829
Oh, nice termite mound.
170
00:05:40,830 --> 00:05:43,249
Hey, Dre. Did you think
about what I asked you?
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00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,419
I did, and, you know,
I got a lot going on, man.
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00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:47,289
I'm always on the clock,
you know?
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00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:49,329
Your wife would understand.
Ask her.
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00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:51,249
Hey, thanks for always
thinking about me, though.
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00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,619
Appreciate you.
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00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,419
Well, there's always next year.
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00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:57,749
Yeah. [ Chuckles ]
178
00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,499
Sorry you guys had to see that.
179
00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:00,999
Well, you did the right thing.
180
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,169
That guy's got to lay off
with the volunteering.
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00:06:03,170 --> 00:06:04,120
Mm.
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00:06:04,121 --> 00:06:05,169
It's obvious you're a money dad.
183
00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:06,499
Eh...
184
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,669
Yeah. You're a money dad.
185
00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:09,209
Yeah, you do the things
that count.
186
00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:11,619
You pay for our house, our food,
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00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,789
our seasonal wardrobes.
188
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,999
Okay, I am more
than just a money dad.
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00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,379
Both: Mm...
190
00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:17,620
Are you?
191
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,919
Buy yourself
a new pair of shoes.
192
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:25,499
I suck at math,
but don't tell my daughter.
193
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:26,709
I'm her hero.
194
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:28,579
Can you get my son
down from up there?
195
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:30,169
And, uh...
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00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:32,830
take care of that street cat.
197
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,499
Make it look like
an accident.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
198
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:38,169
He's gonna get you, son!
199
00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:39,000
Oh, no.
200
00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:40,379
But it's all good.
201
00:06:40,380 --> 00:06:42,959
You heat the pool,
get us new laptops,
202
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,879
you blessed us with
that unlimited data.
203
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,959
We don't have unlimited data.
204
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,669
But we live like we do,
because you're a money dad.
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00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:52,499
And we love you for it.
206
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,669
Is that all I am to my kids?
207
00:06:54,670 --> 00:06:57,379
Just a wallet in sneakers?
208
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,040
Oh! [Bleep]
Is that a termite? What the...
209
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:03,999
Look,
I don't think you understand
210
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,499
what I'm trying to say here.
211
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,289
Loose Craig doesn't need you
to get the drugs for him.
212
00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:09,169
He just needs you to
write the prescription.
213
00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:11,669
He'll get the drugs himself,
and he'll pay you.
214
00:07:11,670 --> 00:07:13,919
Mm-hmm.
No, I understand, Pops.
215
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,669
You're asking me
to be a drug dealer.
216
00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:16,999
And I'm not doing it.
217
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,579
Technically, the pharmacist
is the drug dealer.
218
00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:21,039
No, Pops.
219
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,169
Hey. Can I ask
you guys something?
220
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:26,999
Yeah, as long as it's not for
a bulk order of statins.
221
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,079
The kids say I'm just
a money dad.
222
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,499
Why would they say that?
223
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,499
'Cause you are.
Because you are.
224
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:34,669
What?
225
00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:36,329
You can't be surprised, Dre.
226
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,329
You did hire somebody
to teach Junior
227
00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:40,379
how to ride a bicycle.
228
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:41,959
I don't need to
hear that from you.
229
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,039
You were a horrible father.
230
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,169
Sure, by 2020 standards.
231
00:07:46,170 --> 00:07:49,209
But you can't compare
fatherhood across generations.
232
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,169
Bob Cousy was one
of the best basketball players
233
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:52,329
of his day.
234
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:54,039
Now they wouldn't even
let him hand out towels.
235
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,039
I love you, Pops,
but I'm pretty sure that
236
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,829
walking out on your family
was frowned upon back then, too.
237
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,329
Mm-hmm.
And what if I wanted to be
238
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:02,209
more involved in Dre's life?
239
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:03,499
How would that have looked?
240
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,709
A father hanging
around the school?
241
00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:06,710
What?
Oh, no.
242
00:08:06,711 --> 00:08:07,999
They would've called the police.
243
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,379
Of course, that's what they
expect of dads nowadays.
244
00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:11,959
I'm sorry you got
a raw deal, son.
245
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,749
Sorry.
Yeah, maybe I did.
246
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:14,829
You didn't.
247
00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:17,499
But the kids
don't know that.
What?
248
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,499
I'm jumping in.
249
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,499
Dre is volunteering for
Valley Glen's Give Back Day.
250
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,579
You're gonna start
with Give Back Day?
251
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:25,669
Mm-hmm.
252
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:27,999
Dre, that's the most
intense event of the year.
253
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,499
I do lice screenings
so that I don't get
254
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,169
roped into Give Back Day.
255
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,539
Okay, well, then maybe this is
the perfect opportunity
256
00:08:34,540 --> 00:08:36,379
for me to show the kids
that I can be
257
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:38,079
just as good a father
as Vincent.
258
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,000
I just choose not to.
259
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,249
You're a good woman to put up
with my son, Rainbow.
260
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,169
[ Chuckles ]
Thank you, Pops.
261
00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:48,209
I saw you take
the prescription pad.
262
00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:49,790
[ Slurps ]
263
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,080
Thank you.
Had to try.
264
00:08:53,081 --> 00:08:54,419
Mm-hmm.
265
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,879
When the day came,
266
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:59,039
I was the most plugged-in
and enthusiastic volunteer
267
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,499
that Give Back Day
had ever seen.
268
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,749
There you are, ma'am.
Thank you.
269
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,999
Oh, hey, Vincent.
270
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,379
Hey, hey, hey.
271
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:07,249
I don't want to brag
man, but... ha...
272
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,999
I've got the longest line
out here.
273
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,749
You know,
I'm volunteering so hard,
274
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,959
Valley Glen's gonna be
able to send these kids
275
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,419
on a field trip to the moon.
276
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,829
You are the only one who
brought ribs to a bake sale.
277
00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:18,499
Well, you know.
278
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,999
Thanks for doing this, man.
Mm-hmm.
279
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,619
Look, I know you're
super busy, so don't worry.
280
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:24,079
You'll be able to
get out of here soon.
281
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,379
No. I don't need
to get out of here.
282
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:29,789
I'm Andre Johnson,
present volunteer dad.
283
00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:32,419
Hey, anything you need,
I'm your guy.
284
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:33,579
Seriously?
Mm-hmm.
285
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:34,749
Thank you.
There you are. Enjoy.
286
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,959
Because what we
really need is for someone
287
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,959
to man the dunk tank.
288
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,119
It's very hard to find
parents who are willing
289
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,330
to insult members
of our community.
290
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,999
Ha! A miss!
Another mistake!
291
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,289
Just like you!
292
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:51,119
[ Laughs ]
293
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,119
Oh! Oh, hey,
wait a minute, lady.
294
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,000
Where's your husband at?
295
00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:55,829
Oh, wait.
Like you would know.
296
00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:58,119
[ Chuckles ]
Try Ms. Johnson's house.
297
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,169
Oh, let's hope your daddy
has enough money
298
00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:02,169
to bribe your way into SC.
299
00:10:02,170 --> 00:10:03,619
Who's your daddy?
300
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,329
Your mama don't even know
who your daddy is.
301
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:06,619
Wow, Dad.
302
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:07,669
This is amazing.
303
00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:09,079
- Mm-hmm.
- I knew you could talk trash,
304
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,379
but this is next level.
Mm-hmm.
305
00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:12,379
I finally feel like I learned
something from you.
306
00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:13,879
Wow.
307
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,249
You said you learned
all you could from me
308
00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:16,579
by the age of 7.
309
00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,459
Yeah.
Thanks, Diane.
310
00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:19,669
Hey, son.
Yeah?
311
00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:20,670
You want to take a whack at it?
312
00:10:20,671 --> 00:10:21,879
See if you can dunk
your old man?
313
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,879
Mm, normally, I would
love throwing stuff
314
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,169
at you, Dad,
but I've got to meet Savannah.
315
00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:28,459
Oh. Savannah's back
in the picture?
316
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,669
Yeah. Kind of.
317
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,289
We don't know what we are yet.
318
00:10:31,290 --> 00:10:32,669
Why don't you take her
to the funnel cake booth
319
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,039
and tell her the only
thing sweeter is her?
320
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,579
Ooh. I like that.
321
00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:37,959
Mm-hmm.
Thanks, Dad.
322
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,999
I never knew I could
talk to you about girls.
323
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,499
I mean, sports, food,
324
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:44,419
uh, putting your hand down
the garbage disposal, sure,
325
00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:46,119
but this is a good look on you.
326
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,079
Oh.
Thank you, son.
327
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,579
Sitting up on
my dunk tank throne,
328
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:52,829
I realized the high of
helping my kids
329
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:55,709
was something money
couldn't buy.
330
00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:56,749
Ooh!
331
00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,169
Look who we got here!
332
00:10:58,170 --> 00:11:00,669
I'm only gonna need one.
333
00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:01,879
Biggsy.
334
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,500
You may be principal,
but here, you're my...
335
00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:09,120
[ Cheers and applause ]
336
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:13,499
I played Division 1
softball at Arizona.
337
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,329
Better recognize.
338
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:21,879
♪♪
339
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,749
Did you get your flu shot?
340
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:27,709
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
341
00:11:27,710 --> 00:11:29,459
I started looking into
some of the stuff
342
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:32,249
Grandma's talking about,
and it seems like
343
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,039
the jury is still out
on the flu shot.
344
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,999
For the love of God!
345
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,919
Junior, I would have
expected this from Jack,
346
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,499
but not from you.
347
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,669
If the point's to not get sick,
348
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:44,669
then why take a shot
that gives you the flu?
349
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:46,919
It doesn't give you the flu.
350
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,669
Okay, it gives you a little bit
of the flu, Junior...
351
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:50,379
Mm-hmm.
But that is because
352
00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:52,209
that's the way vaccines work.
353
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,329
See, but there's still
so much we don't know.
354
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,959
What?
Yesterday, I saw a video
355
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,379
on the Internet of this girl
who got the flu shot,
356
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:01,669
and afterwards,
she could only walk backward.
357
00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:05,669
And I saw a video of a girl
who swallowed a balloon
358
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:09,669
filled with baby powder
so she would lose weight.
359
00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:11,169
What?
[ Whispering ] That's why
360
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:15,249
we don't go on the Internet
for medical advice.
361
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:17,459
Mom, I'm sorry.
362
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:18,789
I want to believe.
363
00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:19,999
[ Normal voice ] Do you?
364
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,379
Do you, Junior?
365
00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:24,960
Do you want to believe?
366
00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,709
I don't.
367
00:12:28,710 --> 00:12:30,919
I don't. Yeah.
368
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,329
Well, you are bringing
a virus into this house
369
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:35,209
that is worse than the flu!
370
00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:38,460
The virus of medical skepticism!
371
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,169
By the end of the day,
372
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:43,999
I had proven to everyone
that I wasn't just a money dad.
373
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,119
I could work and be involved
at my kids' school.
374
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,919
Above and beyond today, Big Dre.
375
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,119
Mm.
376
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,499
That's the most money
the dunk tank has ever made.
377
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,289
People really don't like you.
378
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,749
Oh, well, you know,
the key is to find
379
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,709
what the thrower is
most insecure about
380
00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:00,999
and mock it mercilessly.
381
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,289
Hey, Dad.
Hey.
382
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:04,329
I used your funnel cake line
on Savannah,
383
00:13:04,330 --> 00:13:06,669
and now she wants to meet
at the top of the Ferris wheel.
384
00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:09,169
I don't know how I'm gonna
get up there, but still, thanks.
385
00:13:09,170 --> 00:13:10,619
And I used some of your insults
386
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,329
to make an 11th-grader cry.
387
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:14,540
I think she might jump me,
but it was amazing.
388
00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:18,329
You see those smiles?
389
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:20,919
That's why we do it, Dre.
390
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,499
I want to do more of that.
391
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,959
Hey, I'm all in.
392
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,249
Well, if you like,
393
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:28,249
there are plenty more
opportunities to volunteer.
394
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,919
We need lunch help on
Tuesdays and Thursdays,
395
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,919
the D&D club needs an advisor,
396
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,539
and we're always looking
for people to help out
397
00:13:34,540 --> 00:13:36,209
in the community garden
on Monday mornings.
398
00:13:36,210 --> 00:13:37,419
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
399
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:39,209
How am I supposed to do
all that when I have work?
400
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:41,329
Well, that's the choice, man.
401
00:13:41,330 --> 00:13:42,829
Kind of hard to do both.
402
00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:45,499
So, while I'm at work
like a dope,
403
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,829
you get to spend time with
your number-one people?
404
00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:51,169
Quality time, getting
to know your kids better?
405
00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:53,749
Ah, that's the joy of
being a stay-at-home dad.
406
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,079
Oh, man.
I want that joy.
407
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,379
You did what you could.
408
00:13:57,380 --> 00:14:00,079
And maybe in another six months,
you can do it again.
409
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,419
I...
410
00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,119
I wasn't having it all.
411
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,709
I was just getting a reminder
of what I was missing out on.
412
00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:09,039
Uh, by the way, you might
want to get an Uber.
413
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,829
There's an angry mob
waiting by your car.
414
00:14:11,830 --> 00:14:13,959
Okay.
415
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,210
Ooh.
416
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:21,329
Alright, Loose Craig
is willing to let go
417
00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:22,999
of the prescription pad thing.
Mm.
418
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,329
But do you have a way
to get bulk gauze?
419
00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:26,499
No!
420
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,500
[ Door closes ]
421
00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:29,669
Actually, I can help
you with that.
422
00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:30,670
What?
Yes.
423
00:14:30,671 --> 00:14:31,829
Hey.
Hey.
424
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:32,919
Where have you been?
425
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,039
You were supposed
to be home hours ago.
426
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,879
And why are you so ashy?
427
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,999
Ooh, boy, you smell like
a barbecue joint
428
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,379
before it opens...
Bleach and hickory.
429
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,499
Okay, okay.
Everybody relax, alright?
430
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,249
I volunteered for the dunk tank,
431
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,879
and no one has ever
raised more money.
432
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,999
Then why do you look as happy
as a Cleveland Browns fan?
433
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,539
[ Sighs ] Because I liked
helping at school today,
434
00:14:52,540 --> 00:14:55,169
and I think the kids
liked having me there, too.
435
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,170
[ Chuckles ]
436
00:14:56,171 --> 00:14:58,499
I want ways of doing this more.
437
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,249
You know, but I work.
438
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:02,289
You know, it's unfair
that I can't do everything.
439
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:07,119
You are describing the classic
working mom's dilemma.
440
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,119
What? No, no.
This isn't the same, Bow.
441
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,709
Because of Vincent.
442
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,329
You know, whenever
I'm around him,
443
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:13,829
I'm made to feel less
of a father
444
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,959
because I can't be there
for my children like he can.
445
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,419
Mm.
But he has to understand...
446
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:18,619
I work.
447
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,829
It's how we live, okay?
448
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:22,619
It's a part of who I am.
449
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:23,879
And then they start to treat you
450
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,749
like you love your job
more than you love your kids.
451
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,329
Oh, don't try to fix it, Bow.
452
00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:29,169
Just listen.
453
00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:30,829
Today, I felt really good
454
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,459
about being a part
of their world.
455
00:15:33,460 --> 00:15:35,999
I guess it's true
what they say...
456
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,119
Dads can't have it all.
457
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,119
That's what they say?
458
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,329
About dads?
459
00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:44,499
Yeah.
460
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,290
Uh...
461
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,620
I think it's best I remove
myself from this situation.
462
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,579
What?
463
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,880
[ Scoffs ]
464
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:01,329
Look, son [sniffs]...
465
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:03,419
the fact that you're
eaten up about
466
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,459
the little bit that you don't do
467
00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:08,499
shows me that your heart's
in the right place.
468
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,079
Every time I see all the good
stuff you do for your kids,
469
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,499
it makes me feel a little bit
worse about how I raised you.
470
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:15,579
Really?
471
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:16,709
Nah, I don't
look back like that,
472
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:17,829
but you're doing a great job.
473
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:19,119
You need to give
yourself a break.
474
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,289
Yeah.
475
00:16:20,290 --> 00:16:21,669
Thanks, Pops.
476
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:24,169
Can you get my bottle
back now, please?
477
00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:25,329
That's Coolio's new rum.
478
00:16:25,330 --> 00:16:27,170
It's hella expensive.
479
00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:31,959
[ Sighs ]
480
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,999
Ah, there's my number-one girl.
481
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,539
Oh, you gotta stop saying that.
482
00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:36,999
Facts don't lie.
483
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,379
How was your day?
484
00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:39,669
It was not a great day.
485
00:16:39,670 --> 00:16:41,169
I got into a huge argument
486
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:44,039
with one of the other doctors
about climate change.
487
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,119
He doesn't believe in it?
488
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,209
No!
489
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:47,749
He said, "If global warming
is happening,
490
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:50,329
then why is there snow
at my place in Deer Valley?"
491
00:16:50,330 --> 00:16:52,289
Science says it is happening.
492
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:54,249
How can he go against science?
493
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:58,540
It's interesting that you say
that, Junior, because...
494
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,829
I pulled a couple of articles
from some medical journals
495
00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:06,999
about the efficacy
of the flu shot.
496
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,249
Yeah, but this is different...
497
00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:12,749
Okay, listen to me, little boy.
498
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:14,619
You cannot pick and choose.
499
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,329
You cannot believe in
climate change
500
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:17,829
and not the flu shot.
501
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:21,119
Science has given us
indoor plumbing,
502
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,539
the moon landing,
leave-in conditioner.
503
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:29,209
The simple fact
is that science works.
504
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:31,919
And you getting the flu shot
505
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,539
is gonna help
to keep everyone safe.
506
00:17:34,540 --> 00:17:36,829
[ Sighs ] Fine.
You got me.
507
00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:38,749
I'll get the flu shot.
508
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,379
But I want to go
to Shakey's after.
509
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:42,619
Oh, yeah.
We can get pizza.
510
00:17:42,620 --> 00:17:44,919
I said Shakey's.
Yeah. Pizza.
511
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,789
Well, well, well, well.
512
00:17:47,790 --> 00:17:49,709
[ Clears throat ]
513
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:51,919
Science Witch.
Huh?
514
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,829
You may have tricked this sheep,
but you'll never get me.
515
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:57,079
Hmm.
516
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,459
Listen, Ruby, young children
517
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:02,829
are some of the most vulnerable
to the flu.
518
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:03,830
Mm?
519
00:18:03,831 --> 00:18:05,829
So, you're not gonna be able
520
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:09,209
to take care of Devante
if you don't get the flu shot.
521
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:11,499
But he's my favorite grandbaby.
522
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,709
Huh.
523
00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:15,499
I already knew,
but it still hurts to hear.
524
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:18,829
Just can't take a chance
with my baby's health.
525
00:18:18,830 --> 00:18:21,329
Alright, I'll get the flu shot.
526
00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:23,579
And I got some terms, missy.
527
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,039
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
528
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,039
I want you to
administer the shot,
529
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,829
but I want a white male
doctor to order it.
530
00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:32,169
What?
531
00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:34,999
That way, I know I'll definitely
be getting the good stuff.
532
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,999
There's no s-s...
533
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,169
Yeah, you know what?
534
00:18:40,170 --> 00:18:41,999
Yes.
535
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,829
I will get you the good stuff.
536
00:18:45,830 --> 00:18:46,919
Alright.
Yeah.
537
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,669
And hey, hey.
Yes?
538
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,960
I also want to go to Shakey's.
539
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:59,169
I think we've established
I'm unguardable as a dad,
540
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:02,789
but that doesn't mean I can't
find ways to improve my game.
541
00:19:02,790 --> 00:19:04,709
Hey, Vincent.
Got a second?
542
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,289
Oh, Dre.
543
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:08,669
Here to help keep the school
garden nice and tight?
544
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:10,499
If you see any slugs,
545
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,539
just put them in the bucket
so they can be re-homed.
546
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,459
I'm not gonna do that.
547
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:15,749
Besides, I can't stay, man.
548
00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:16,829
I, uh...
549
00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:19,499
I just came to
apologize for, uh,
550
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,459
talking trash about you
being a stay-at-home dad.
551
00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:23,999
What?
Y-You didn't do that.
552
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,999
Well, not to your face.
553
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,539
But to my wife, my co-workers,
554
00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:30,379
the staff at
the Coffee Commissary.
555
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:34,249
Look, man, what you said
about prioritizing your kids,
556
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,169
it really got under my skin.
557
00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:37,829
Well, choosing not to work
558
00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:40,419
isn't all sweatpants
and watching "The View."
559
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:42,379
It's hard being
a stay-at-home dad
560
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:45,119
in a world that only
understands a stay-at-home mom.
561
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,619
Dad?
Hmm?
562
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,379
Why are you here
during a workday?
563
00:19:48,380 --> 00:19:50,039
Hey... Wait, hold on, wait.
564
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,329
Is Grandma okay?
565
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,289
D... Did she catfish
another congressman?
566
00:19:53,290 --> 00:19:54,829
She's fine, okay?
567
00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:56,959
I just came to talk to Vincent
for a second, you know?
568
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,499
But I got to get back to work.
569
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,919
Oh. Of course.
570
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,619
We understand.
571
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,829
You know, I could use your help
572
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,879
sifting through this compost.
573
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,669
Someone threw rice in there.
574
00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:13,919
I always said my family comes
first, and in that moment,
575
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,459
it was nice to make that
all the way true.
576
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,789
Hey, guys?
577
00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:20,459
Let's do some dirt.
578
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:21,619
I got you.
579
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,999
Dads may not be able
to have it all,
580
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,619
but this one could
have a little bit more.
581
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:27,620
Big-ass avocados.
582
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:34,329
It is so odd for
Dre to be late for work.
583
00:20:34,330 --> 00:20:37,539
Oh. Charlie, is... is today
some sort of Black holiday
584
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:38,670
we don't know about?
585
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,709
Yes. [ Chuckles ]
586
00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:44,079
I... I forgot.
587
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,829
Today is Black...
588
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,709
Tuesday.
589
00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:50,919
It's Wednesday.
590
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,460
Hey, that's just...
That's just how we do.
591
00:20:55,540 --> 00:20:56,540
Okey doke.
No, no. You stay.
592
00:20:56,541 --> 00:20:59,169
It's for Black people only.
593
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:00,120
Okay.
594
00:21:00,121 --> 00:21:02,170
- Mom!
- Shh! Daddy's working.
41941
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