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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,142 --> 00:00:25,142 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:01:19,551 --> 00:01:21,286 Hey. You need a ride? 3 00:01:24,256 --> 00:01:26,423 So you're still riding the bus with all the ninth graders? 4 00:01:26,425 --> 00:01:29,459 Okay, I like public transportation. 5 00:01:29,461 --> 00:01:31,528 It lets me stay in touch with the youth. 6 00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:33,396 What happens when all the youth get their licenses 7 00:01:33,398 --> 00:01:35,265 and you're the last one on the bus? 8 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,099 Sick Top 40, bro. 9 00:01:37,101 --> 00:01:38,801 It is sick, actually. 10 00:01:38,803 --> 00:01:40,102 In what circles? 11 00:01:40,104 --> 00:01:42,272 In all the circles. That's why it's Top 40. 12 00:01:42,274 --> 00:01:44,041 Fuckin' touche. 13 00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:47,377 You wanna hear sick? 14 00:01:47,379 --> 00:01:48,380 Oh, no. 15 00:01:53,884 --> 00:01:54,885 Oh. 16 00:01:55,153 --> 00:01:56,221 What? 17 00:01:59,991 --> 00:02:02,194 - Is it weird he isn't here? - Who? 18 00:02:03,295 --> 00:02:04,329 Ben! 19 00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:06,331 No. 20 00:02:07,098 --> 00:02:08,398 Why? 21 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,333 Because you guys have a conjoined vagina. 22 00:02:11,969 --> 00:02:13,836 You want a bite of my corned beef sandwich? 23 00:02:13,838 --> 00:02:15,472 Uh-uh. 24 00:02:15,474 --> 00:02:19,043 Why do you close yourself off to all of life's miracles like this? Live a little. 25 00:02:20,312 --> 00:02:23,112 I don't wanna eat anything that has to be "corned." 26 00:02:23,114 --> 00:02:26,449 You don't like my corned beef sandwiches... 27 00:02:26,451 --> 00:02:28,451 - you don't like my music. - Mmm-hmm. 28 00:02:28,453 --> 00:02:30,886 I don't think that's how friends work. 29 00:02:30,888 --> 00:02:32,589 I guess we have nothing in common. 30 00:02:32,591 --> 00:02:34,591 Maybe we shouldn't be anymore. 31 00:02:34,593 --> 00:02:36,861 We shouldn't be friends? 32 00:02:38,129 --> 00:02:39,130 Yeah. 33 00:02:55,946 --> 00:02:56,947 What do you say? 34 00:02:58,250 --> 00:02:59,251 Not friends? 35 00:03:03,087 --> 00:03:04,121 Not friends. 36 00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:15,765 Okay. 37 00:03:36,221 --> 00:03:37,922 I think we should have sex. 38 00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:42,461 - In general? - No, I mean right now. 39 00:03:45,163 --> 00:03:46,463 You're my little lemur. 40 00:03:46,465 --> 00:03:48,099 You're my little panda bear. 41 00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:53,303 I love panda bears! 42 00:03:53,305 --> 00:03:55,338 - Fuckin' love lemurs. - Yeah. 43 00:04:08,587 --> 00:04:10,087 Fourth time's the charm. 44 00:04:39,151 --> 00:04:40,983 - Listen. Listen to me. - What? 45 00:04:40,985 --> 00:04:43,486 It's getting really tiring hanging out with you 46 00:04:43,488 --> 00:04:46,121 - while you're always on your phone. - You do the same thing to me! 47 00:04:46,123 --> 00:04:49,325 You talk to Molly and Sally, I swear, for 45 minutes 48 00:04:49,327 --> 00:04:50,593 - every time we hang out. - Are you kidding me? 49 00:04:50,595 --> 00:04:51,828 You play your dumb little fuckin' video games all the time 50 00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:54,264 with Ben on the other line, being like, "Meh-meh-meh-meh." 51 00:04:54,266 --> 00:04:55,565 - I'm driving you home. - I keep hearing fuckin' rumors... 52 00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:57,634 from ninth grade about you getting blowies, which, by the way, 53 00:04:57,636 --> 00:04:59,702 I don't know who even said, "blowie." 54 00:04:59,704 --> 00:05:02,639 Oh, I'm sorry. I don't give a fuck. Enjoy your meal. 55 00:05:02,641 --> 00:05:04,574 I don't give a fuck. 56 00:05:20,225 --> 00:05:21,259 ...angry! 57 00:05:22,194 --> 00:05:24,761 Okay, fine, you know what? Just let's... 58 00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:27,464 What, are we posing like this? This is so fuckin' cliche. This is cliche. 59 00:06:09,407 --> 00:06:11,309 Why did you choose Boston? 60 00:06:20,185 --> 00:06:22,719 - April, have your salmon. - I'm not hungry. 61 00:06:22,721 --> 00:06:25,588 Well, it's been two weeks. You need the omega threes. 62 00:06:25,590 --> 00:06:28,291 - They help your brain. - What's wrong with my brain? 63 00:06:28,293 --> 00:06:29,726 Honey! They're good for you. 64 00:06:29,728 --> 00:06:31,828 Mom, she's allowed to be depressed. 65 00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:33,663 - Thank you. - No one as good as Nick 66 00:06:33,665 --> 00:06:35,498 will ever love her again. 67 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,834 Agnes. Show some compassion. 68 00:06:37,836 --> 00:06:39,536 Yeah. Eat a dick, Agnes. 69 00:06:39,538 --> 00:06:42,104 April, don't tell your sister to eat that. 70 00:06:42,106 --> 00:06:44,106 - I'll eat Nick's dick. - Not okay. 71 00:06:44,108 --> 00:06:45,808 You little perv. You don't even have your period yet. 72 00:06:45,810 --> 00:06:47,877 - I do have my period. - Oh, yeah? 73 00:06:47,879 --> 00:06:49,479 - Show me your tampon. - You... 74 00:06:49,481 --> 00:06:51,648 You got your period and you didn't tell me? 75 00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:54,417 Wow. You guys are gonna be single forever. 76 00:06:54,419 --> 00:06:56,352 - No, we're not. - No, we're not. 77 00:06:56,354 --> 00:06:58,821 Meanwhile, I'm gonna marry Nick and we're gonna own a yacht, 78 00:06:58,823 --> 00:07:00,690 and a Jacuzzi, and a baby whale, 79 00:07:00,692 --> 00:07:04,561 and we're all gonna live in Mexico in a beautiful Spanish-style house. 80 00:07:04,563 --> 00:07:06,329 We're gonna have five kids and they're all 81 00:07:06,331 --> 00:07:08,264 gonna be named after famous singers. 82 00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:11,234 Let's see. We're gonna have Will.i.am, and we're gonna have Cher, 83 00:07:11,236 --> 00:07:13,202 but we also gotta throw in some Beatle names, 84 00:07:13,204 --> 00:07:16,575 so we'll have Paul McCartney and John Lennon... 85 00:08:00,485 --> 00:08:01,884 Lemme get a Coke and a hot dog. 86 00:08:01,886 --> 00:08:03,620 One Coke. 87 00:08:03,622 --> 00:08:07,223 - And a hot dog. - That's gonna be $4 for the Coke. 88 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:08,925 Sorry, are you out of hot dogs? 89 00:08:08,927 --> 00:08:11,327 - No, we have hot dogs. - Then... Then why... 90 00:08:11,329 --> 00:08:12,695 Because the smell of your pig parts 91 00:08:12,697 --> 00:08:15,231 are gonna ruin the cinematic experience for everyone. 92 00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,799 Where's your manager? 93 00:08:16,801 --> 00:08:19,969 Look, April, I like you. 94 00:08:19,971 --> 00:08:22,338 You know, I... I like the way that blue shirt 95 00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:25,441 brings out the brown in your eyes, you know, it's really stunning. 96 00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:27,877 But you can't tell people what to order, okay? 97 00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:29,679 Like, let them get the hot dogs. 98 00:08:29,681 --> 00:08:31,414 - Okay. - Great. 99 00:08:31,416 --> 00:08:35,585 That was a great talk. Really, really productive and... 100 00:08:38,490 --> 00:08:39,491 Yeah. 101 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:36,612 Yo. 102 00:09:36,614 --> 00:09:38,948 Yo! We're goin' out tonight. 103 00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:40,783 I don't go out anymore. 104 00:09:40,785 --> 00:09:42,785 It'll make you happy! 105 00:09:42,787 --> 00:09:44,654 Are we going to a gun range? 106 00:09:44,656 --> 00:09:46,823 We're going to Mordecai's. 107 00:09:46,825 --> 00:09:48,593 Is that a temple? 108 00:09:49,294 --> 00:09:51,360 It's a house party. 109 00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:53,596 Don't even try to say no. 110 00:09:53,598 --> 00:09:55,465 You need to get thirsty for a dick. 111 00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:58,634 Yeah! Rebound dick! 112 00:09:58,636 --> 00:10:00,737 Oh, it's the best kinda dick. 113 00:10:00,739 --> 00:10:02,172 No, it's the second best. 114 00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:04,741 - Wait, what's the best kind? - Love dick. 115 00:10:04,743 --> 00:10:07,846 Don't talk about love in front of April! 116 00:10:09,647 --> 00:10:12,982 Where the fuck did this Clara girl come from anyway? 117 00:10:12,984 --> 00:10:15,685 - Her Instagram's on private. - Trick ass bitch. 118 00:10:15,687 --> 00:10:18,621 I followed her from my fake account at TatianaRealicious. 119 00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:23,025 Wait, she accepted someone named TatianaRealicious? 120 00:10:23,027 --> 00:10:24,694 You dumb bitch. 121 00:10:24,696 --> 00:10:26,562 You have a fake Instagram account that I don't know about? 122 00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:28,431 Mmm. 123 00:10:28,433 --> 00:10:29,565 You don't know everything about me. 124 00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,000 When did you do that? 125 00:10:31,002 --> 00:10:33,536 What is this photo of Shaquille O'Neal? 126 00:10:33,538 --> 00:10:34,937 I saw Shaq at a bakery once. 127 00:10:34,939 --> 00:10:37,073 I saw Kobe in a Petco. 128 00:10:37,075 --> 00:10:40,843 It's so cool that they shop for their own pet paraphernalia. 129 00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:43,047 Get this torture device away from me. 130 00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:47,418 She's like 131 00:10:47,952 --> 00:10:49,018 really pretty. 132 00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:50,019 Oh. 133 00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:54,390 - Sally! - Like, in a boring, classic way. 134 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:55,925 Shut up. 135 00:11:01,699 --> 00:11:04,100 Ah, I love shots! 136 00:11:04,102 --> 00:11:06,538 Me, too! 137 00:11:07,705 --> 00:11:09,040 I miss Nick. 138 00:11:29,627 --> 00:11:33,097 To the universe for testing us all. 139 00:11:33,698 --> 00:11:35,965 Huh? 140 00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:40,371 - I'm an existentialist. - Cool. I love horses, too. 141 00:11:43,975 --> 00:11:45,109 All right. 142 00:11:50,048 --> 00:11:52,450 Oh, yeah, your tits. 143 00:11:53,051 --> 00:11:54,853 Ah, it smells bad in here. 144 00:11:56,855 --> 00:11:58,855 You're a good kisser. 145 00:11:58,857 --> 00:12:01,359 Yeah, yeah. Say... Say more stuff like that. 146 00:12:04,128 --> 00:12:06,531 If you blow me, I'll fuck you. 147 00:12:10,702 --> 00:12:11,936 What? 148 00:12:20,212 --> 00:12:22,013 - April. April. - Get over here. 149 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,147 - She's here. - Who? 150 00:12:25,149 --> 00:12:26,551 You know who. 151 00:12:28,086 --> 00:12:30,220 - Is Nick with her? - We haven't seen him. 152 00:12:30,222 --> 00:12:32,488 If this is too hard for you, we can go. 153 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:35,960 Or we can get you a Lyft and you can go. 154 00:12:46,905 --> 00:12:49,440 I feel bad. I feel so bad. 155 00:12:50,675 --> 00:12:54,110 - Should I say something to her? - Like what? 156 00:12:54,112 --> 00:12:57,980 Like, "Hi, I'm April. I hear you're letting the boy I love cum inside you." 157 00:12:57,982 --> 00:13:00,783 - That's so weird. - Please don't ever say that. 158 00:13:00,785 --> 00:13:02,053 So, they're like, "Oh." 159 00:13:05,257 --> 00:13:07,525 - Want some tequila? - Mmm-hmm. 160 00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:11,694 - I have some coke, too. - I'd do a little coke. 161 00:13:43,628 --> 00:13:45,928 - April? - Fucking Judas. 162 00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:47,763 What the fuck? 163 00:13:47,765 --> 00:13:51,734 "What the fuck" to you, Benjamin. 164 00:13:51,736 --> 00:13:53,836 Uh, yeah, sorry, so I've been to like three bedrooms already. 165 00:13:53,838 --> 00:13:55,905 You were not specific, and this is a big-ass house. 166 00:13:55,907 --> 00:13:57,907 Are you having sex with her, too? 167 00:13:57,909 --> 00:14:00,109 What? Clar... No, no, we're just friends. 168 00:14:00,111 --> 00:14:03,612 No, who the hell is this girl? How come I've never heard of her? 169 00:14:03,614 --> 00:14:06,782 Okay, Clara, uh, her parents are like my godparents, 170 00:14:06,784 --> 00:14:10,086 and we kinda grew up together and we used to take baths. 171 00:14:10,088 --> 00:14:12,121 - With each other. You know? - Oh! 172 00:14:12,123 --> 00:14:14,123 That's so cute. Tell me more. 173 00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:17,260 Right. I don't know why this is a thing, you know, 174 00:14:17,262 --> 00:14:18,995 'cause she's, like, moved here, she doesn't have any friends... 175 00:14:18,997 --> 00:14:20,129 And you thought, 176 00:14:20,131 --> 00:14:22,064 "Before I show her the Chinese Theatre, 177 00:14:22,066 --> 00:14:23,632 she should see Nick's penis?" 178 00:14:23,634 --> 00:14:25,103 I didn't think that, 179 00:14:26,171 --> 00:14:28,137 but maybe she hasn't seen it yet. 180 00:14:28,139 --> 00:14:32,041 I'm gonna break into your house and force feed you ghost peppers. 181 00:14:32,043 --> 00:14:35,745 - That's incredibly specific. - I am gonna hunt you down 182 00:14:35,747 --> 00:14:37,613 when you're old and you're sick, 183 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,249 and I'm gonna turn off the oxygen. 184 00:14:39,251 --> 00:14:42,651 I'm gonna tell weird stories at your funeral, 185 00:14:42,653 --> 00:14:44,221 - so no one remembers you accurately. - Okay, 186 00:14:44,223 --> 00:14:46,156 I don't wanna play your death threat game, 187 00:14:46,158 --> 00:14:48,225 and I don't wanna be in the middle of whatever weird, toxic shit... 188 00:14:48,227 --> 00:14:51,093 You're not in the middle. You're fuckin' taking their side! 189 00:14:51,095 --> 00:14:54,030 I'm not taking their side, because there are no sides, April. 190 00:14:54,032 --> 00:14:55,232 - You're making this up. It's all in your head. - Yes, you are. 191 00:14:55,234 --> 00:14:56,832 Hey! Hey! Hey, hey! 192 00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,100 This is a private area. 193 00:14:58,102 --> 00:15:00,172 Right. It's my parents' bedroom. 194 00:15:01,839 --> 00:15:02,840 Mordecai? 195 00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:05,710 Yes? 196 00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:09,179 - That's Mordecai. - It is. 197 00:15:09,181 --> 00:15:10,713 - Ben, do you know this person? - I do know this person. 198 00:15:10,715 --> 00:15:12,681 - You know this person? - We're leaving. 199 00:15:12,683 --> 00:15:14,184 - Thank you. - We're leaving. 200 00:15:14,186 --> 00:15:15,720 You're so strict. 201 00:15:16,788 --> 00:15:18,990 So strict. Okay. 202 00:15:24,929 --> 00:15:26,798 Bedrooms are off limits, guys. 203 00:15:47,352 --> 00:15:48,586 It's not me, Mordecai. 204 00:15:52,657 --> 00:15:53,691 Hi. 205 00:15:58,163 --> 00:15:59,164 You're April. 206 00:16:00,332 --> 00:16:01,333 Uh-huh. 207 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,801 Clara. 208 00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:06,704 I'm aware. 209 00:16:10,442 --> 00:16:12,710 Have... Have you seen keys for a Volvo? 210 00:16:19,318 --> 00:16:20,319 No. 211 00:16:22,854 --> 00:16:24,053 Is that it? 212 00:16:24,055 --> 00:16:26,722 No, I just... I saw you walking in here and I thought 213 00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:28,325 maybe I should say something. 214 00:16:28,327 --> 00:16:29,559 About your keys? 215 00:16:29,561 --> 00:16:33,996 No, forget the keys. That was just like an icebreaker. 216 00:16:33,998 --> 00:16:36,000 It's still icy as fuck in here. 217 00:16:37,236 --> 00:16:39,135 Okay. 218 00:16:39,137 --> 00:16:40,938 Maybe this was a bad idea. 219 00:16:42,474 --> 00:16:44,006 That's astute. 220 00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:46,677 I didn't know about you until two days ago. 221 00:16:49,448 --> 00:16:53,483 Also, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna throw up, 222 00:16:53,485 --> 00:16:55,154 if that makes you feel any better. 223 00:16:55,987 --> 00:16:57,021 A little. 224 00:16:58,357 --> 00:16:59,824 Do you wanna go do a shot? 225 00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:04,727 I don't drink. 226 00:17:04,729 --> 00:17:06,795 ♪ Bling-bling, bitch Do my own thing, bitch 227 00:17:06,797 --> 00:17:07,963 ♪ Fuck a wedding ring 228 00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:09,199 ♪ That ding a ling was just a fling, bitch 229 00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:12,435 ♪ Looking out for my mama and my day one bitches 230 00:17:12,437 --> 00:17:15,037 ♪ Independent women We accumulatin' riches 231 00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:18,107 ♪ Blowing haters kisses Forever fly misses 232 00:17:18,109 --> 00:17:19,942 You know this song! 233 00:17:19,944 --> 00:17:21,344 I don't really... Not really. 234 00:17:21,346 --> 00:17:23,246 You know, I can hear you singing it. 235 00:17:23,248 --> 00:17:24,548 - I don't know. - That's not the rules. 236 00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:26,782 You have to sing if you know the song. You know I'm right. 237 00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:29,386 - I don't know... - You know I'm right. You have to. Come on. 238 00:17:29,388 --> 00:17:31,321 ♪ Lemme tell you how bitches really be 239 00:17:31,323 --> 00:17:32,988 ♪ Here's me, here's JP 240 00:17:32,990 --> 00:17:34,257 ♪ Reportin' live from the streets 241 00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:35,425 ♪ And you best believe 242 00:17:35,427 --> 00:17:37,092 ♪ That I got the keys And I got the trees 243 00:17:37,094 --> 00:17:38,127 ♪ And I got the tweets 244 00:17:38,129 --> 00:17:39,895 ♪ Ain't no stopping these prophecies 245 00:17:39,897 --> 00:17:42,232 ♪ Am I a thot for lovin' Ciroc 246 00:17:42,234 --> 00:17:44,867 ♪ Gucci or not I'm a cheat 'cause I got 247 00:17:44,869 --> 00:17:47,437 ♪ All my hot girls with me and we 248 00:17:47,439 --> 00:17:50,773 ♪ Dance around and bounce those titties 249 00:17:50,775 --> 00:17:52,375 - Yes, yes, yes, yes! - You can do that. 250 00:17:52,377 --> 00:17:54,344 ♪ Dance around and bounce those titties 251 00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:55,445 Come on. 252 00:17:55,447 --> 00:17:57,414 ♪ Dance around and bounce those titties 253 00:17:57,416 --> 00:18:00,115 ♪ Dance around and bounce those titties 254 00:18:00,117 --> 00:18:02,385 ♪ Bling-bling, bitch Do my own thing, bitch 255 00:18:02,387 --> 00:18:03,553 ♪ Fuck a wedding ring 256 00:18:03,555 --> 00:18:04,820 ♪ That ding a ling was just a fling, bitch 257 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:07,359 ♪ Bling-bling, bitch Do my own thing, bitch... 258 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,160 Oh, fuck. 259 00:18:10,162 --> 00:18:12,795 ♪ Eenie, minnie, moe How many niggas is ready to go? 260 00:18:12,797 --> 00:18:13,862 ♪ Down on a bitch for the Galaxy 4 261 00:18:13,864 --> 00:18:15,030 ♪ 99 reasons why niggas ain't shit 262 00:18:15,032 --> 00:18:16,233 ♪ Shit is not funny The mission is critical 263 00:18:16,235 --> 00:18:18,468 ♪ Setting yourself up for disses and ridicule 264 00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:19,802 ♪ Talk to these hoes and I got them to switch on you 265 00:18:19,804 --> 00:18:20,838 ♪ Talked to ya mom and now she gonna shit on you ♪ 266 00:18:27,312 --> 00:18:29,080 I can hold my own hair. 267 00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:37,322 You were the one who was supposed to puke. 268 00:18:37,589 --> 00:18:38,990 Sorry. 269 00:18:40,425 --> 00:18:41,859 How do you feel? 270 00:18:43,262 --> 00:18:44,463 Hungry. 271 00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:46,529 Oh. 272 00:18:46,531 --> 00:18:49,466 I saw some fancy cheese in the fridge. 273 00:18:49,468 --> 00:18:52,168 - Please, stop. - Stop what? 274 00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:54,337 Why are you being so nice to me? 275 00:18:54,339 --> 00:18:57,840 What, I mean, what? Do you want me to be like a bitch to you? 276 00:18:57,842 --> 00:18:59,409 Kind of. 277 00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:01,946 I want a reason to give you a black eye. 278 00:19:04,449 --> 00:19:06,151 God, your eyes are pretty. 279 00:19:07,084 --> 00:19:08,487 Your eyes are pretty. 280 00:19:09,588 --> 00:19:11,789 And your boobs, they're like... 281 00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:14,025 really good. 282 00:19:14,426 --> 00:19:16,058 No. 283 00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,463 It's a push-up bra. Feel. 284 00:19:22,066 --> 00:19:23,568 Could I ask you something? 285 00:19:24,035 --> 00:19:25,036 Yeah. 286 00:19:26,605 --> 00:19:28,440 Why isn't Nick here with you? 287 00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:33,075 I don't know. Ask Ben. 288 00:19:33,077 --> 00:19:35,846 - They are so gay together. - I know. 289 00:19:55,634 --> 00:19:56,967 I'm gonna... 290 00:19:57,935 --> 00:19:59,003 You have to go? 291 00:20:01,072 --> 00:20:02,073 Yeah. 292 00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:09,346 They look friendly. 293 00:20:09,348 --> 00:20:11,283 They're not friendly, they're just... 294 00:20:12,284 --> 00:20:13,918 my friends. 295 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:21,023 Well, it was nice to meet you. 296 00:20:21,025 --> 00:20:23,328 Yup. It was less bloody than I envisioned. 297 00:20:24,196 --> 00:20:25,464 Take my number. 298 00:20:27,499 --> 00:20:29,534 I... Uh... 299 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,001 What? 300 00:20:32,704 --> 00:20:34,373 What about... 301 00:20:35,273 --> 00:20:36,274 Nick. 302 00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:40,042 Yeah. That person. 303 00:20:40,044 --> 00:20:41,446 I don't have to tell him. 304 00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:46,182 Well... 305 00:20:46,184 --> 00:20:48,117 good luck with your keys. I'm... 306 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,086 Oh, my God, just take my phone number. 307 00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:57,195 Have you lost your damn mind? 308 00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:00,196 What happens when she gets jealous? 309 00:21:00,198 --> 00:21:02,198 I'm not forcing her to hang out with me. 310 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,733 Oh, yeah, you just gave her your cell phone number for what? 311 00:21:03,735 --> 00:21:07,270 - Shits and gigs? - Chill, Benjamin. 312 00:21:07,272 --> 00:21:09,071 Oh, my God. You know, you and April are the only two people 313 00:21:09,073 --> 00:21:10,340 who call me that? 314 00:21:10,342 --> 00:21:12,475 Which is exactly why we should be friends. 315 00:21:12,477 --> 00:21:14,244 That's a really flimsy argument. 316 00:21:14,246 --> 00:21:15,745 What if I'm the one who gets jealous? 317 00:21:15,747 --> 00:21:17,313 Why... Why would you get jealous? 318 00:21:17,315 --> 00:21:20,283 Because she's like the... The long-term ex. 319 00:21:20,285 --> 00:21:22,117 Yeah, but I'm pretty sure relationships with sex 320 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:25,321 take priority over relationships, you know, without sex. 321 00:21:25,323 --> 00:21:27,925 Then I guess we're just gonna have to scissor. 322 00:21:29,628 --> 00:21:33,263 Look, I'm asking you to do me a favor, okay? 323 00:21:33,265 --> 00:21:35,198 - It depends. - Are you kidding me? 324 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,599 I helped you with all those fucking shelves with the Swedish names... 325 00:21:36,601 --> 00:21:38,535 Then what is it? 326 00:21:38,537 --> 00:21:41,671 Just don't hang out with April. 327 00:21:41,673 --> 00:21:44,543 And if you do, please, stop hooking up with Nick. 328 00:21:45,377 --> 00:21:47,479 Huh? Just pick one. 329 00:22:09,701 --> 00:22:10,735 Send it. 330 00:22:13,103 --> 00:22:14,172 Send it. 331 00:22:15,507 --> 00:22:17,173 What if you don't respond? 332 00:22:17,175 --> 00:22:18,710 Why would I give you my number? 333 00:22:19,678 --> 00:22:21,511 Well... 334 00:22:21,513 --> 00:22:23,482 Maybe Nick is balls deep inside you. 335 00:22:24,249 --> 00:22:25,283 Maybe. 336 00:22:27,686 --> 00:22:30,120 But on the other hand... 337 00:22:30,622 --> 00:22:31,656 fuck it. 338 00:22:39,464 --> 00:22:40,465 Send. 339 00:22:43,133 --> 00:22:45,268 - So, you know I... - What do you... 340 00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:47,437 - You go. - No, you. 341 00:22:47,439 --> 00:22:51,374 I was just gonna say, I stalked you on Instagram. 342 00:22:51,376 --> 00:22:55,012 - You did? - Yeah, like 106 weeks. 343 00:22:55,747 --> 00:22:58,348 Well, I stalked you, too, 344 00:22:58,350 --> 00:23:01,651 but, uh, only made it to that Shaquille O'Neal post. 345 00:23:01,653 --> 00:23:03,820 I just wanna hug him, you know? 346 00:23:03,822 --> 00:23:05,622 - Sure. - And fuck him. 347 00:23:05,624 --> 00:23:08,560 Wait, how did you see that photo? My account's on private. 348 00:23:09,861 --> 00:23:13,363 I had a friend follow you from a fake account. 349 00:23:13,365 --> 00:23:16,234 Your friend is TatianaRealicious? 350 00:23:17,302 --> 00:23:19,435 - Yes. - Oh, my God, 351 00:23:19,437 --> 00:23:22,272 that answers so many questions. 352 00:23:22,274 --> 00:23:23,540 Did... Okay. 353 00:23:27,445 --> 00:23:29,345 So you're just not going to school? 354 00:23:29,347 --> 00:23:32,348 I mean, I might, one day. 355 00:23:32,350 --> 00:23:34,185 I forgot that's even an option. 356 00:23:34,753 --> 00:23:36,452 What made you move here? 357 00:23:36,454 --> 00:23:39,856 I don't know. Just to move here. Fresno sucks. 358 00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,324 That's so baller. 359 00:23:41,326 --> 00:23:46,863 Yeah, I'm ballin' real hard using my employee discount to buy oven mitts. 360 00:23:46,865 --> 00:23:50,233 - You can cook, too? - What, you can't cook? 361 00:23:50,235 --> 00:23:53,236 I put chocolate in the microwave before, 362 00:23:53,238 --> 00:23:55,137 with, like, some marshmallows and stirred peanut butter in, 363 00:23:55,139 --> 00:23:57,742 - and I can eat that. - Don't tell people that. 364 00:24:00,245 --> 00:24:01,513 Someone's coming. What do I do? 365 00:24:01,846 --> 00:24:03,214 Nothing. 366 00:24:06,251 --> 00:24:07,383 Hi. 367 00:24:07,385 --> 00:24:08,753 Hello, dog. 368 00:24:10,288 --> 00:24:13,156 You never peed outside before? 369 00:24:13,158 --> 00:24:14,759 What do you use for toilet paper? 370 00:24:15,627 --> 00:24:16,828 You drip dry. 371 00:24:20,365 --> 00:24:22,365 It's pooling against my shoe! 372 00:24:36,915 --> 00:24:38,781 Just take the test again. 373 00:24:38,783 --> 00:24:40,950 I can't bring my mom's car to Boston. 374 00:24:40,952 --> 00:24:43,853 Well, yeah, but at some point in your life you're gonna want your own. 375 00:24:43,855 --> 00:24:45,555 I do have my learner's permit. 376 00:24:45,557 --> 00:24:46,558 That's good. 377 00:24:47,726 --> 00:24:48,760 It's expired. 378 00:24:49,561 --> 00:24:51,728 Oh. 379 00:24:51,730 --> 00:24:55,264 Nick used to get so pissed having to drive me everywhere. 380 00:24:55,266 --> 00:24:57,433 What the fuck is up with his tinted windows? 381 00:24:57,435 --> 00:25:00,903 He thinks he's a drug lord, clearly. 382 00:25:00,905 --> 00:25:04,674 Right, because all drug lords drive around in their shitty Jettas, 383 00:25:04,676 --> 00:25:07,243 listening to Carly Rae Jepsen. 384 00:25:07,245 --> 00:25:09,381 He truly loves her. 385 00:25:10,582 --> 00:25:12,217 He's not being ironic? 386 00:25:12,984 --> 00:25:14,550 - No. - Fuck. 387 00:25:17,389 --> 00:25:20,323 Did he always used to put your nose in his mouth? 388 00:25:20,325 --> 00:25:21,658 Literally all the time. 389 00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:23,760 What, is that supposed to be sexy? 390 00:25:23,762 --> 00:25:25,764 I have no idea. I actually had to Google it. 391 00:25:27,666 --> 00:25:32,435 What about when he grabs your boob like it is a tightly-sealed jar? 392 00:25:32,437 --> 00:25:34,237 - Okay, thank you. - Yes. 393 00:25:34,239 --> 00:25:36,274 I would get freakin' bruises. 394 00:25:39,477 --> 00:25:42,514 What about when he refers to his dick as a quidditch stick? 395 00:25:47,318 --> 00:25:49,888 He... He hasn't done that with me. 396 00:25:57,562 --> 00:25:59,497 I think we should make some rules. 397 00:26:00,532 --> 00:26:02,467 - I concur. - Cool. 398 00:26:05,804 --> 00:26:08,805 First rule, no talking about Nick. 399 00:26:08,807 --> 00:26:10,973 Second rule, no telling Nick. 400 00:26:10,975 --> 00:26:14,977 Ooh. Okay, so rule 2B should be no social media. 401 00:26:14,979 --> 00:26:17,814 - That's so smart. - Yeah. 402 00:26:17,816 --> 00:26:20,750 And if things get weird, we have to tell each other. 403 00:26:20,752 --> 00:26:22,587 - These are really good rules. - Yeah. 404 00:26:24,289 --> 00:26:25,621 I feel like we're in Fight Club. 405 00:26:25,623 --> 00:26:29,292 Yeah. You can be Brad Pitt and I'll be George Clooney. 406 00:26:29,294 --> 00:26:33,362 Well, you can be George Clooney if you want, but he wasn't in Fight Club. 407 00:26:33,364 --> 00:26:36,768 Oh. Well, I watched it when I was on whip-its. 408 00:26:37,769 --> 00:26:39,635 Okay, is this crazy? 409 00:26:39,637 --> 00:26:41,337 Probably. 410 00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:50,379 So, um, should we, like, make out now, or... 411 00:26:50,381 --> 00:26:51,950 I did already touch your boob. 412 00:26:52,917 --> 00:26:54,786 - That's true. - Yeah. 413 00:26:58,089 --> 00:26:59,424 Good night. 414 00:27:04,629 --> 00:27:09,465 Just so, um, we're clear, I'm not actually a lesbian. 415 00:27:09,467 --> 00:27:12,935 I feel like I've been giving you some lesbian undertones and, like... 416 00:27:12,937 --> 00:27:16,674 I did... I did, uh, make out with my friend Sally once... 417 00:27:17,976 --> 00:27:19,408 but I didn't enjoy it. 418 00:27:19,410 --> 00:27:20,943 - I was worried. I'm glad. - Yeah. 419 00:27:20,945 --> 00:27:22,914 Thank you for the clarification. 420 00:27:25,850 --> 00:27:28,620 You can drive away now. 421 00:27:31,956 --> 00:27:33,892 - Bye! - Bye! 422 00:27:37,896 --> 00:27:39,731 Whoo! Clara! 423 00:27:58,016 --> 00:27:59,081 No! 424 00:28:07,091 --> 00:28:09,494 - I got him for you. - For me? 425 00:28:21,105 --> 00:28:22,038 It's bad. 426 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,675 Clara to the stockroom. 427 00:28:25,543 --> 00:28:27,476 Clara, please come to the back. 428 00:28:27,478 --> 00:28:29,047 Yep. That's what we're gonna do. 429 00:29:19,231 --> 00:29:20,732 Do you want a bite of my patty melt? 430 00:29:21,833 --> 00:29:23,532 I'll have a bite of the bread part. 431 00:29:23,534 --> 00:29:25,501 Just the toast? 432 00:29:25,503 --> 00:29:27,837 - I don't wanna ingest weird meat. - No. 433 00:29:27,839 --> 00:29:29,007 Open your mind. 434 00:29:30,541 --> 00:29:32,110 Right there. The cheesy part. 435 00:29:32,844 --> 00:29:33,845 Fine. 436 00:29:38,616 --> 00:29:41,019 - Oh, my God. Mmm. - It's so good, right? 437 00:29:43,755 --> 00:29:45,821 - What? - Nothin'. 438 00:29:45,823 --> 00:29:48,791 Just the first time I get to see you guys in action. 439 00:29:48,793 --> 00:29:49,794 And? 440 00:29:51,263 --> 00:29:53,095 And I feel like a traitor. 441 00:29:53,097 --> 00:29:54,364 Oh, you're blowing this out of proportion. 442 00:29:54,366 --> 00:29:57,702 Yeah, maybe we measure proportions differently, you and I... 443 00:29:58,670 --> 00:30:00,503 And Nick. 444 00:30:00,505 --> 00:30:02,538 - Are you gonna tell him? - Hmm? 445 00:30:02,540 --> 00:30:05,641 - Are you a rat, Benjamin? - Yeah, a cheese-eating rat? 446 00:30:05,643 --> 00:30:07,576 Do you wanna know what happens to rats? 447 00:30:07,578 --> 00:30:11,181 - They get their toes cut off. - They get shanked in their sleep. 448 00:30:11,183 --> 00:30:13,983 They get their carbon monoxide detectors disabled. 449 00:30:13,985 --> 00:30:16,852 They get their sunscreen stolen, you ginger fuck. 450 00:30:16,854 --> 00:30:18,120 There it is. 451 00:30:18,122 --> 00:30:19,855 Yeah. 452 00:30:19,857 --> 00:30:22,159 You guys are perfect for each other, you know that? 453 00:30:23,628 --> 00:30:24,662 Oh, shoot. 454 00:30:26,265 --> 00:30:28,533 - Oh, I need to take mine, too. - Yeah. 455 00:30:28,933 --> 00:30:30,666 What? 456 00:30:30,668 --> 00:30:32,835 - Benjamin, what day is it? - It is Tuesday. 457 00:30:32,837 --> 00:30:34,605 - Tuesday. - Tuesday. 458 00:30:42,981 --> 00:30:44,183 So, what's up with April? 459 00:30:45,783 --> 00:30:47,284 You mean Clara? 460 00:30:47,286 --> 00:30:48,784 No, I saw Clara yesterday. 461 00:30:48,786 --> 00:30:49,921 I meant April. 462 00:30:53,958 --> 00:30:57,495 Don't go to your weird, silent place. 463 00:30:58,763 --> 00:31:00,098 Give me the shit. 464 00:31:02,567 --> 00:31:03,568 Um... 465 00:31:04,635 --> 00:31:06,236 Yeah, uh, I don't really know. 466 00:31:06,238 --> 00:31:09,705 I guess she's... She's still, um, working at The Palace. 467 00:31:09,707 --> 00:31:10,708 Hmm. 468 00:31:11,909 --> 00:31:13,511 Is she hookin' up with anyone? 469 00:31:25,056 --> 00:31:26,989 I'm way too high for this shit. 470 00:31:26,991 --> 00:31:28,926 Dude, what shit? 471 00:31:30,795 --> 00:31:33,263 Look, she doesn't tell me anything because she knows I'd tell you... 472 00:31:33,265 --> 00:31:35,232 So, you are talking to her, then. 473 00:31:35,234 --> 00:31:39,302 Let's not talk about 'em back to back like this. It makes everything weird. 474 00:31:39,304 --> 00:31:42,071 All right, dude. You're the one who brought her up, not me. 475 00:31:42,073 --> 00:31:44,008 What? Which one? 476 00:31:46,811 --> 00:31:49,945 Clara, dude. Are you okay? 477 00:31:54,353 --> 00:31:56,321 Ooh, you're done, dude. 478 00:31:56,954 --> 00:31:58,020 You're toast. 479 00:32:02,927 --> 00:32:04,163 It's a normal question. 480 00:32:05,397 --> 00:32:06,896 I don't know. 481 00:32:06,898 --> 00:32:08,931 How many people have entered you? 482 00:32:08,933 --> 00:32:12,369 Can we not talk about my vagina like it's a room, please? 483 00:32:13,738 --> 00:32:14,872 I asked you first. 484 00:32:18,709 --> 00:32:19,710 One. 485 00:32:21,712 --> 00:32:22,780 So... 486 00:32:23,981 --> 00:32:24,982 Yeah. 487 00:32:26,318 --> 00:32:27,319 Got it. 488 00:32:28,986 --> 00:32:31,120 - And? - What? 489 00:32:31,122 --> 00:32:33,057 - It's your turn, woman. - Mmm... 490 00:32:34,125 --> 00:32:36,259 - Four... - That's not that bad. 491 00:32:36,261 --> 00:32:38,428 ...teen. 492 00:32:38,430 --> 00:32:40,397 What? There's not a lot to do in Fresno. 493 00:32:40,399 --> 00:32:42,199 I'm not judging you. 494 00:32:42,201 --> 00:32:45,335 Good, 'cause if I were a man, you'd call me awesome. 495 00:32:45,337 --> 00:32:47,204 Well, you are awesome. 496 00:32:47,206 --> 00:32:49,738 I don't even think I know 14 full people. 497 00:32:53,111 --> 00:32:54,112 Who were they? 498 00:32:56,047 --> 00:32:57,081 Well... 499 00:33:00,885 --> 00:33:03,220 I lost my virginity to Henry. 500 00:33:03,222 --> 00:33:06,023 It took him three times to break my hymen. 501 00:33:07,692 --> 00:33:10,160 And then, there was Dario. 502 00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:12,295 He was an exchange student from Palermo, 503 00:33:12,297 --> 00:33:14,797 and he taught me how to make pasta. 504 00:33:14,799 --> 00:33:16,235 He also gave me chlamydia. 505 00:33:17,169 --> 00:33:19,469 So who was number three? 506 00:33:19,471 --> 00:33:23,105 Oh, no, Dario was, like, number six. 507 00:33:23,107 --> 00:33:24,807 I'm just giving you the highlights. 508 00:33:24,809 --> 00:33:27,412 What, you want me to tell you about all 14 of them, you weirdo? 509 00:33:28,746 --> 00:33:31,080 And then there was Micah. 510 00:33:31,082 --> 00:33:32,915 From summer camp. 511 00:33:32,917 --> 00:33:35,218 We were counselors together. 512 00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,719 And then he cheated on me. 513 00:33:37,955 --> 00:33:39,123 I really liked him. 514 00:33:40,958 --> 00:33:43,728 God, I just wanna be disrespected like once. 515 00:33:44,962 --> 00:33:46,265 You really don't. 516 00:33:48,900 --> 00:33:50,269 Were any of them serious? 517 00:33:55,907 --> 00:33:56,974 Not really. 518 00:33:58,243 --> 00:33:59,244 What about Ben? 519 00:34:00,044 --> 00:34:01,078 What about him? 520 00:34:02,314 --> 00:34:03,846 Have you ever... 521 00:34:03,848 --> 00:34:05,981 Oh, my God, no! 522 00:34:05,983 --> 00:34:10,052 That would be like incest. Not the hot kind. 523 00:34:10,054 --> 00:34:12,121 What is the hot kind of incest? 524 00:34:12,123 --> 00:34:15,327 It's like a sexy stepbrother or something. 525 00:34:17,262 --> 00:34:19,196 You should do Ben. 526 00:34:19,198 --> 00:34:22,898 Oh, I don't know. I can't picture him having an actual penis, you know? 527 00:34:22,900 --> 00:34:24,867 Oh, no, he does. 528 00:34:24,869 --> 00:34:28,405 I mean, unless some sort of accident has happened since our baths. 529 00:34:28,407 --> 00:34:32,242 Ah. Yes, your famous baths. 530 00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:34,076 A massive baby peen. 531 00:34:39,551 --> 00:34:42,918 You know, Ben is also best friends with... 532 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:44,387 Right. 533 00:34:44,389 --> 00:34:47,192 - And you and Nick, you're... - Rules. 534 00:34:47,892 --> 00:34:49,060 Oh, right. 535 00:34:57,269 --> 00:34:58,337 Hey, baby. 536 00:35:03,874 --> 00:35:04,875 Hey. 537 00:35:05,810 --> 00:35:07,011 I've really missed you. 538 00:35:08,580 --> 00:35:12,083 You don't know how lost I've been without you. 539 00:35:14,051 --> 00:35:15,886 That's all I've wanted to hear. 540 00:35:18,122 --> 00:35:20,856 I was only gone for five minutes. 541 00:35:20,858 --> 00:35:22,325 What? 542 00:35:22,327 --> 00:35:24,126 I should've been with you from the very beginning. 543 00:35:24,128 --> 00:35:25,295 Hello? 544 00:35:25,297 --> 00:35:26,962 My little panda bear. 545 00:35:26,964 --> 00:35:28,331 You're my little lemur. 546 00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:30,966 I'm the lemur. I'm the lemur! 547 00:35:30,968 --> 00:35:32,235 I fuckin' love lemurs. 548 00:35:33,838 --> 00:35:36,872 Driver? Shut the partition. 549 00:35:36,874 --> 00:35:39,177 'Cause we gonna fuck! 550 00:35:41,912 --> 00:35:43,415 It sucks being third wheel, huh? 551 00:36:03,067 --> 00:36:05,067 Where have you been? 552 00:36:05,069 --> 00:36:07,004 You know, just hangin' out. 553 00:36:08,072 --> 00:36:10,039 With who? 554 00:36:10,041 --> 00:36:12,342 Various people. Get out of my closet. 555 00:36:12,344 --> 00:36:14,076 So you're rebound fucking? 556 00:36:14,078 --> 00:36:15,412 What? No. 557 00:36:15,414 --> 00:36:18,947 Rebounds are healthy. I had two after your father found Maria. 558 00:36:18,949 --> 00:36:20,650 - Mom. - What the fuck, Mom? 559 00:36:20,652 --> 00:36:24,121 Look, I am a three-dimensional human being who's had sex. 560 00:36:24,489 --> 00:36:25,722 And UTIs. 561 00:36:25,724 --> 00:36:30,993 And I have this little vibrator, and I have had many orgasms. 562 00:36:30,995 --> 00:36:33,896 Your father put his penis into me and you two came out. 563 00:36:33,898 --> 00:36:36,433 - Stop talking forever! - Okay, never again, Mom! 564 00:36:36,435 --> 00:36:38,268 Fine. Fine. 565 00:36:38,270 --> 00:36:39,569 Who is the rebound with? 566 00:36:39,571 --> 00:36:42,372 If you say you're back with Nick, I'll actually kill myself. 567 00:36:42,374 --> 00:36:46,977 It's not Nick. It's not a rebound. It's just, like, this girl. 568 00:36:47,646 --> 00:36:49,379 Oh, shit! 569 00:36:49,381 --> 00:36:51,314 - That's not what I meant. - What did you mean? 570 00:36:51,316 --> 00:36:53,216 Do you just finger each other really hard? 571 00:36:53,218 --> 00:36:55,951 Okay! It is platonic, and can you leave now? 572 00:36:55,953 --> 00:36:57,554 How did you know about fingering? 573 00:36:57,556 --> 00:37:00,490 I'm 13, Mom. I know all about fingering. 574 00:37:00,492 --> 00:37:04,461 I find that shocking. I did not know about fingering until college. 575 00:37:04,463 --> 00:37:07,996 I find that shocking after your history lesson on your vagina. 576 00:37:07,998 --> 00:37:12,537 I did that to illustrate a point, not to humiliate your sister. 577 00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:20,278 A whale! 578 00:37:20,645 --> 00:37:21,646 What? 579 00:37:22,414 --> 00:37:23,548 There was no whale. 580 00:37:24,383 --> 00:37:26,349 I just want your attention. 581 00:37:26,351 --> 00:37:30,255 - Oh. I'm just tryin' to get my shift covered at work. - Hmm. 582 00:37:34,426 --> 00:37:35,427 Okay. 583 00:37:36,728 --> 00:37:38,161 Can we roll around and make out now? 584 00:37:38,163 --> 00:37:39,564 - Yes. - Finally. 585 00:37:43,602 --> 00:37:46,236 People think that Pirates of the Caribbean 586 00:37:46,238 --> 00:37:49,339 was like the best adaptation of a Disneyland ride, 587 00:37:49,341 --> 00:37:52,442 but I really don't think Tomorrowland got enough credit. 588 00:37:52,444 --> 00:37:55,211 Tomorrowland is a land, not a ride. 589 00:37:55,213 --> 00:37:57,682 Hmm. That's actually a really good point. 590 00:38:01,753 --> 00:38:04,554 Would you wanna go sometime? 591 00:38:04,556 --> 00:38:06,324 I have... I have a Platinum Pass. 592 00:38:07,759 --> 00:38:09,628 Oi! Krillholtz! 593 00:38:13,432 --> 00:38:14,932 Yeah. Yup. 594 00:38:17,469 --> 00:38:18,470 Really quick. 595 00:38:19,337 --> 00:38:20,670 You ready to go? 596 00:38:20,672 --> 00:38:24,209 I mean, yes, but technically I have like two more hours of this. 597 00:38:26,311 --> 00:38:27,345 Here you go. 598 00:38:28,513 --> 00:38:30,348 For when you have real keys one day. 599 00:38:36,221 --> 00:38:37,353 Clara. 600 00:38:37,355 --> 00:38:39,458 Okay, don't be weird about it. It's just a keychain. 601 00:38:41,593 --> 00:38:42,661 Okay, let's go. 602 00:38:43,628 --> 00:38:46,229 Where are we going? Where do you wanna go? 603 00:38:46,231 --> 00:38:49,131 Wherever your heart desires. 604 00:38:49,133 --> 00:38:50,134 Okay. 605 00:38:52,604 --> 00:38:55,273 - Palm Springs? - What's in Palm Springs? 606 00:38:56,274 --> 00:38:59,209 I don't know. It's pretty far. 607 00:38:59,211 --> 00:39:01,377 Ooh, maybe we could get mochis from Trader Joe's. 608 00:39:01,379 --> 00:39:03,381 No, fuck that. We're going to Palm Springs. 609 00:39:22,834 --> 00:39:24,300 My dear... 610 00:39:26,136 --> 00:39:27,804 I don't do deep breaths. 611 00:39:27,806 --> 00:39:30,640 Just breathe. Look. He's right there. It's gonna be super simple. 612 00:39:30,642 --> 00:39:34,412 Palm Springs, Palm Springs, Palm Springs. 613 00:39:44,756 --> 00:39:45,955 Oh, my God. 614 00:39:45,957 --> 00:39:50,760 I heard acid can get, like, stuck in your spinal column 615 00:39:50,762 --> 00:39:52,495 and then you have flashbacks forever. 616 00:39:52,497 --> 00:39:56,366 Yeah. Less talking and more drugs, please. 617 00:39:56,368 --> 00:39:59,704 Maybe when we're home, when we're in like a really familiar environment... 618 00:40:02,807 --> 00:40:04,209 You're welcome. 619 00:40:21,793 --> 00:40:23,361 The colors. 620 00:40:24,796 --> 00:40:27,799 Lango Faringi! 621 00:40:34,138 --> 00:40:37,742 Snucky plonko! 622 00:40:41,846 --> 00:40:43,615 Garmu! 623 00:40:56,695 --> 00:40:58,363 Are mine too blue? 624 00:41:00,498 --> 00:41:01,499 Huh. 625 00:41:02,901 --> 00:41:05,437 I think it means you have enough oxygen. 626 00:41:06,571 --> 00:41:08,571 Or it means something is wrong with me, 627 00:41:08,573 --> 00:41:10,775 and that's why I'm always really cold. 628 00:41:13,778 --> 00:41:15,513 Is this betters? 629 00:41:23,722 --> 00:41:27,525 What am I gonna do when I'm freezing in Boston without you? 630 00:41:29,761 --> 00:41:32,464 Wear a jacket made of my skin. 631 00:41:36,935 --> 00:41:38,336 Okay, but... 632 00:41:39,871 --> 00:41:42,271 how am I gonna make friends? 633 00:41:42,273 --> 00:41:46,342 What are you talking about? You're gonna make so many new friends. 634 00:41:46,344 --> 00:41:49,912 I'm not cool and confident like you. 635 00:41:49,914 --> 00:41:52,917 I can't just move somewhere and figure everything out. 636 00:41:53,652 --> 00:41:55,518 Are you kidding me? 637 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,156 I have nothing figured out. You, you have... 638 00:41:59,491 --> 00:42:00,925 this whole path. 639 00:42:03,595 --> 00:42:04,663 I really don't. 640 00:42:06,364 --> 00:42:07,932 At least you have a plan. 641 00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:11,534 I suck at making plans. 642 00:42:11,536 --> 00:42:13,371 I don't even know what I care about. 643 00:42:14,773 --> 00:42:16,775 What about canary school? 644 00:42:17,842 --> 00:42:21,246 Like studying birds? 645 00:42:32,824 --> 00:42:35,324 - I meant... You know what I meant? - Hmm? 646 00:42:35,326 --> 00:42:36,893 I meant culinary. 647 00:42:36,895 --> 00:42:41,931 I made dinner for you one time. Once. 648 00:42:41,933 --> 00:42:46,269 Yeah, but you'd be like the coolest chef on the planet... 649 00:42:46,271 --> 00:42:49,607 like with a bunch of tattoos, getting to cook pasta all day. 650 00:43:04,489 --> 00:43:06,224 I miss my family. 651 00:43:09,327 --> 00:43:10,628 You can have mine. 652 00:43:14,032 --> 00:43:15,500 Can I meet them? 653 00:43:16,801 --> 00:43:18,303 You really want to? 654 00:43:19,537 --> 00:43:20,605 I really do. 655 00:43:25,543 --> 00:43:26,544 Hey. 656 00:43:27,378 --> 00:43:28,379 Hmm? 657 00:43:32,450 --> 00:43:33,785 You're my best friend. 658 00:43:38,923 --> 00:43:40,658 You're my best friend. 659 00:43:52,470 --> 00:43:54,937 I learned about Fresno once during social studies. 660 00:43:54,939 --> 00:43:56,906 It was part of the Gold Rush. 661 00:43:56,908 --> 00:43:59,277 Interesting. But I don't think it was. 662 00:44:00,612 --> 00:44:01,911 Well, maybe I'm confused. 663 00:44:01,913 --> 00:44:04,614 Maybe Fresno is just famous for having a bunch of whorehouses. 664 00:44:04,616 --> 00:44:05,882 Agnes. 665 00:44:07,886 --> 00:44:10,987 I, uh... I drove through Fresno once on my way to San Francisco. 666 00:44:10,989 --> 00:44:12,256 It looked really nice. 667 00:44:12,258 --> 00:44:14,524 Oh. Well, that's because you didn't stop. 668 00:44:16,127 --> 00:44:18,528 So, how long have you been here? 669 00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:20,630 - A month and a half. - Oh, do you like it? 670 00:44:20,632 --> 00:44:23,866 Yeah. I'm still tryin' to figure everything out, but yeah. 671 00:44:23,868 --> 00:44:25,568 How did you and April meet? 672 00:44:25,570 --> 00:44:27,069 How about you let her chew her food, Mom? 673 00:44:27,071 --> 00:44:29,939 No, Mom. That was such a great question. 674 00:44:29,941 --> 00:44:32,610 I mean, considering she's fucking Nick. 675 00:44:35,013 --> 00:44:36,946 I am seriously going to fuck you up. 676 00:44:36,948 --> 00:44:38,648 - Girls! - Maybe I should go. 677 00:44:38,650 --> 00:44:40,082 No! Agnes should go. 678 00:44:40,084 --> 00:44:41,884 Why are you mad at me? You should be mad at her! 679 00:44:41,886 --> 00:44:43,786 - You're insane. - I'm in love. 680 00:44:43,788 --> 00:44:45,121 With my ex-boyfriend! 681 00:44:45,123 --> 00:44:47,390 You mean with her current boyfriend, you dumbass! 682 00:44:47,392 --> 00:44:48,958 Okay, I'm sorry. She loves Nick? 683 00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,726 Stay out of it, slut! 684 00:44:50,728 --> 00:44:54,332 All right. Are you really seeing him? 685 00:45:00,071 --> 00:45:03,539 Thank you. Thank you for the salmon. 686 00:45:03,541 --> 00:45:05,543 - Good riddance. - Clara... 687 00:45:06,811 --> 00:45:08,077 Suck my dick, Agnes. 688 00:45:08,079 --> 00:45:09,745 - You suck my dick. - You suck my dick. 689 00:45:09,747 --> 00:45:11,047 - You suck my dick! - No, you suck my dick! 690 00:45:11,049 --> 00:45:13,484 Enough with the dick sucking! 691 00:45:36,441 --> 00:45:39,176 Wow. This is impressive wrapping. 692 00:45:49,053 --> 00:45:50,455 Are you sayin' I'm smelly? 693 00:45:50,889 --> 00:45:51,956 Sometimes. 694 00:45:53,858 --> 00:45:56,058 Do you want your real present? 695 00:45:56,060 --> 00:45:57,061 Yes. 696 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,600 For you. 697 00:46:08,606 --> 00:46:11,874 - You love it? - No way! No way! 698 00:46:11,876 --> 00:46:14,710 - It's limited edition. - I know. I love it! 699 00:46:14,712 --> 00:46:17,749 Holy cow! Yeah! 700 00:46:18,049 --> 00:46:19,617 No! Stop! 701 00:46:21,119 --> 00:46:23,819 I don't wanna smell like a boy! 702 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,660 Spare some shampoo, Dumbledore? 703 00:46:30,662 --> 00:46:32,495 Oh. 704 00:46:32,497 --> 00:46:36,034 You mean this bottle of Pantene, which is actually a horcrux? 705 00:46:36,734 --> 00:46:39,502 Accio Pantene. 706 00:46:39,504 --> 00:46:42,038 Wingardium leviosa Pantene. 707 00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:44,174 Protego Pantene. 708 00:46:44,176 --> 00:46:46,511 Expecto patronus Pantene. 709 00:46:51,649 --> 00:46:54,652 - Do you like this manly beard? - Yes, I do. 710 00:47:10,269 --> 00:47:11,936 I love you. 711 00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:15,071 I love you harder. 712 00:48:13,798 --> 00:48:14,964 - Great. Yeah. - Did you see that? 713 00:48:14,966 --> 00:48:17,666 - I thought... - Yeah, right. It's beginner's luck. 714 00:48:17,668 --> 00:48:20,337 - You look so cute. You're so cute. - Natch. 715 00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:36,087 Santa Barbara's not that far. 716 00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:39,158 I could come see you on the weekends. 717 00:48:39,624 --> 00:48:40,625 Yeah. 718 00:48:59,677 --> 00:49:02,745 - So should I just invite Nick, or... - That's not funny. 719 00:49:02,747 --> 00:49:05,184 - I think it'd be pretty funny. - Well, we don't. 720 00:49:06,717 --> 00:49:08,717 April gets to invite her friend. Why can't I invite mine? 721 00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:11,254 - I'm your friend, too, Ben. - Ah, but you're also Nick's. 722 00:49:11,256 --> 00:49:13,122 - Can you not say his name? - Why? 723 00:49:13,124 --> 00:49:14,859 Because we have rules. 724 00:49:17,028 --> 00:49:19,128 Oh, yeah, that's, uh... That's great. 725 00:49:19,130 --> 00:49:21,030 That's really gonna keep this whole thing together, huh? 726 00:49:21,032 --> 00:49:22,800 And speak of the devil. 727 00:49:23,668 --> 00:49:25,067 Okay. 728 00:49:25,069 --> 00:49:26,169 Hey, Nick, buddy. 729 00:49:26,171 --> 00:49:27,970 Hey, what's up? You wanna go eat? 730 00:49:27,972 --> 00:49:29,738 Yeah, actually I'm eating right now. 731 00:49:29,740 --> 00:49:31,974 - I 'm gonna fucking kill you. - Um... 732 00:49:31,976 --> 00:49:33,077 With my cousin. 733 00:49:34,912 --> 00:49:36,745 Ger... Gerald. 734 00:49:36,747 --> 00:49:39,282 You have a cousin named Gerald? 735 00:49:39,284 --> 00:49:41,151 Well, where are you at? I'll just come meet you. 736 00:49:41,153 --> 00:49:43,886 - He wants to meet up. - Tell him you're far away, dingus. 737 00:49:43,888 --> 00:49:46,956 I'm... I'm far away. At a fair. 738 00:49:46,958 --> 00:49:48,124 - You're at a fair? - No. 739 00:49:48,126 --> 00:49:49,925 - Don't say "affair." - Not "affair." 740 00:49:49,927 --> 00:49:53,230 A fair, as in like a fair with a Fer... Ferris wheel. 741 00:49:53,232 --> 00:49:54,464 Not "affair." 742 00:49:54,466 --> 00:49:56,031 He's my cousin, that would be... 743 00:49:56,033 --> 00:49:58,067 That would be incest. 744 00:49:58,069 --> 00:49:59,171 And not the hot kind. 745 00:50:02,006 --> 00:50:03,306 You're digging a hole. 746 00:50:03,308 --> 00:50:05,908 Yeah, buddy, anyway, me and Gerald are just diggin' holes 747 00:50:05,910 --> 00:50:07,977 - at the fair, and, um... - Dude. 748 00:50:07,979 --> 00:50:09,446 How fucked up are you right now? 749 00:50:09,448 --> 00:50:10,913 You wanna hang up the phone now? 750 00:50:10,915 --> 00:50:12,249 I gotta... Gerald's... I gotta, man... 751 00:50:12,251 --> 00:50:13,949 I gotta go. I love you, though. 752 00:50:13,951 --> 00:50:16,253 Be safe. Bye! Bye. Bye. 753 00:50:16,255 --> 00:50:18,821 - What the fuck was that? - Why would you pick up? 754 00:50:18,823 --> 00:50:20,825 Oh, why would you put me in this position? 755 00:50:21,293 --> 00:50:22,925 How 'bout that? 756 00:50:33,004 --> 00:50:34,937 See how easy that was? 757 00:50:34,939 --> 00:50:36,406 That was... 758 00:50:36,408 --> 00:50:40,042 You guys are like two geniuses who use the pull-out method, you know? 759 00:50:40,044 --> 00:50:43,380 One day you're gonna fuck while you're ovulating, 760 00:50:43,382 --> 00:50:46,316 and you're going to have a baby. 761 00:50:46,318 --> 00:50:48,453 Well, I like the pull-out method, so... 762 00:50:52,123 --> 00:50:53,458 Holy shit. 763 00:50:54,959 --> 00:50:56,091 And he knows. 764 00:50:56,093 --> 00:50:57,396 Why is he calling you? 765 00:50:58,497 --> 00:50:59,929 I don't know. 766 00:50:59,931 --> 00:51:02,365 He's outside right now. With a machete. 767 00:51:02,367 --> 00:51:03,999 And he's gonna cut us into cubes, 768 00:51:04,001 --> 00:51:06,003 and he's gonna put us in trash cans all over the city. 769 00:51:08,407 --> 00:51:10,507 I'm gonna let it go to voicemail. 770 00:51:10,509 --> 00:51:12,211 You should see what he wants. 771 00:51:12,511 --> 00:51:14,177 What? 772 00:51:14,179 --> 00:51:15,180 What? 773 00:51:19,418 --> 00:51:20,483 Okay. 774 00:51:20,485 --> 00:51:21,486 Um... 775 00:51:22,521 --> 00:51:25,455 - Hello? - Hey, dawg. 776 00:51:25,457 --> 00:51:26,922 How can I help you? 777 00:51:26,924 --> 00:51:29,892 By not talking to me like you're a robot. 778 00:51:29,894 --> 00:51:32,231 - How can I help you, Nick? - That's better. 779 00:51:33,498 --> 00:51:34,763 Thank you. 780 00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:37,500 I just wanted to call and say thanks for the text. 781 00:51:37,502 --> 00:51:39,436 I didn't know what to write back. 782 00:51:39,438 --> 00:51:41,371 - Uh-huh. - So I just called instead, 783 00:51:41,373 --> 00:51:44,407 which, I guess, creates the same kinda problem. 784 00:51:44,409 --> 00:51:47,109 Yeah, it kinda does. So, um... 785 00:51:47,111 --> 00:51:52,182 Hey, I'm sorry about Clara. 786 00:51:52,184 --> 00:51:55,385 You know, it just... It happened really fast and... 787 00:51:55,387 --> 00:51:59,955 Yeah. Um, you don't need to explain anything. 788 00:51:59,957 --> 00:52:01,892 Ben says that she's a great girl. 789 00:52:03,528 --> 00:52:04,529 Well... 790 00:52:10,469 --> 00:52:11,470 Okay. 791 00:52:12,404 --> 00:52:13,405 Bye. 792 00:52:15,274 --> 00:52:16,408 Bye, April. 793 00:52:22,414 --> 00:52:26,549 You just really felt the need to text him "Happy Birthday"? 794 00:52:26,551 --> 00:52:30,919 You know, me talking to him or not talking to him wasn't specified rules. 795 00:52:30,921 --> 00:52:33,891 Because it's... so obvious. 796 00:52:38,430 --> 00:52:40,163 Are you still in love with him? 797 00:52:40,165 --> 00:52:41,166 No. 798 00:52:43,067 --> 00:52:44,200 Are you in love with him? 799 00:52:44,202 --> 00:52:45,203 No. 800 00:52:46,305 --> 00:52:47,572 I would tell you that. 801 00:52:51,876 --> 00:52:53,312 There's a party on Saturday. 802 00:52:54,413 --> 00:52:57,913 You wanna go together, like, in disguise? 803 00:52:57,915 --> 00:53:00,883 Is it that Bruno Shabaz thing? 804 00:53:00,885 --> 00:53:02,252 Yeah. You know about that? 805 00:53:02,254 --> 00:53:03,620 Yeah. 806 00:53:03,622 --> 00:53:05,157 Uh, Nick's going. 807 00:53:08,193 --> 00:53:10,460 Okay, so let's just skip it. 808 00:53:10,462 --> 00:53:13,165 I was probably just gonna go with him. 809 00:53:18,337 --> 00:53:19,338 Yeah. 810 00:53:25,444 --> 00:53:26,877 So... 811 00:53:27,679 --> 00:53:29,281 I'll just skip it. 812 00:53:29,681 --> 00:53:30,881 Cool. 813 00:53:34,453 --> 00:53:35,454 Cool. 814 00:53:46,698 --> 00:53:49,501 Well, whatever. I'm so over high school parties anyways. 815 00:53:50,702 --> 00:53:54,237 - Yeah, me, too. - Yeah, we've evolved. 816 00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:57,139 Your ID is kinda bootleg, though. 817 00:53:57,141 --> 00:53:59,242 It says you're vision impaired? 818 00:53:59,244 --> 00:54:01,511 I did that for realism. 819 00:54:01,513 --> 00:54:04,216 Okay, but it says that you're 5'11". 820 00:54:05,116 --> 00:54:07,049 That was a typo. 821 00:54:07,051 --> 00:54:09,386 You should've got it done from these guys that we met. 822 00:54:09,388 --> 00:54:12,020 - They're Romanian. - Mmm-hmm. 823 00:54:12,022 --> 00:54:15,625 I mean, if I don't get in, we can just do something else. 824 00:54:15,627 --> 00:54:18,263 You're gonna get in. It's gonna be fun. 825 00:54:19,231 --> 00:54:20,963 Yay. 826 00:54:20,965 --> 00:54:24,099 Oh, we're gonna miss you so much! 827 00:54:24,101 --> 00:54:26,436 Oh, you have to visit us in Miami! 828 00:54:26,438 --> 00:54:27,606 Oh, my God. 829 00:54:28,206 --> 00:54:29,674 Oh, my God! 830 00:55:00,739 --> 00:55:02,705 Bold move, Krillholtz. 831 00:55:02,707 --> 00:55:04,374 Are they in the vicinity? 832 00:55:04,376 --> 00:55:06,509 Why? What do you have planned? 833 00:55:06,511 --> 00:55:08,711 Nothing. I wanna stay as far away as humanly possible. 834 00:55:08,713 --> 00:55:10,145 Right. Okay, they're over there, 835 00:55:10,147 --> 00:55:11,949 - so we're gonna go this way and have a great time... - Thanks, Ben. 836 00:55:13,185 --> 00:55:14,286 That's not chill. 837 00:55:25,430 --> 00:55:26,531 What'd you expect? 838 00:55:33,605 --> 00:55:35,273 - Thank you. - Mmm. 839 00:55:37,609 --> 00:55:39,776 Pass me that bottle of brown stuff. 840 00:55:39,778 --> 00:55:42,712 I'm not passing you licorice schnapps. 841 00:55:42,714 --> 00:55:43,515 Why not? 842 00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:48,286 Because you're not a homeless person. 843 00:55:50,155 --> 00:55:51,523 Ugh! 844 00:55:53,758 --> 00:55:56,495 - Well, that's rich. - What? 845 00:56:00,465 --> 00:56:01,566 Ah. 846 00:56:02,434 --> 00:56:03,366 Hmm. 847 00:56:03,368 --> 00:56:05,802 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 848 00:56:05,804 --> 00:56:10,105 It's just, uh... that girl Ben was with earlier... 849 00:56:10,107 --> 00:56:11,710 You mean your ex-girlfriend? 850 00:56:13,545 --> 00:56:15,678 How do you know about that? 851 00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:17,447 I have the Internet. 852 00:56:19,484 --> 00:56:21,551 Who's Brad Pitt? 853 00:56:21,553 --> 00:56:27,757 Um, that is my friend, Olivia, from home. 854 00:56:27,759 --> 00:56:31,561 We're just, like, obsessed with Fight Club. 855 00:56:31,563 --> 00:56:33,496 Maybe we should just go. 856 00:56:33,498 --> 00:56:36,299 Why should we go? She can go. 857 00:56:36,301 --> 00:56:38,301 Right, but you know what? I'll split the Lyft with ya, 858 00:56:38,303 --> 00:56:40,403 we can get some food on the way. It'll be dope. Let's bounce. Let's go. 859 00:56:40,405 --> 00:56:43,640 I just got here. Why is everyone always tryin' to get me to leave the party? 860 00:56:43,642 --> 00:56:47,544 Everyone isn't. Ben is, in order to save lifelong relationships. 861 00:56:47,546 --> 00:56:49,146 You know what? Let's just stay. 862 00:56:50,549 --> 00:56:51,683 And have fun. 863 00:56:53,652 --> 00:56:55,151 Yeah, okay. Fuck it. 864 00:56:55,153 --> 00:56:56,555 - Let's have fun. Cheers. - Yeah. 865 00:56:57,856 --> 00:56:59,289 Do you wanna go? 866 00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:01,190 No. Why? 867 00:57:01,192 --> 00:57:04,327 I mean, I don't know if you're uncomfortable she's here. 868 00:57:04,329 --> 00:57:05,564 I'm not uncomfortable. 869 00:57:06,765 --> 00:57:08,498 Okay. 870 00:57:08,500 --> 00:57:09,701 Is it uncomfortable for you? 871 00:57:10,535 --> 00:57:11,536 No. 872 00:57:13,705 --> 00:57:15,240 I'm not uncomfortable at all. 873 00:57:22,914 --> 00:57:26,649 You know, there's a, like, a really wicked EDM scene in Boulder, 874 00:57:26,651 --> 00:57:30,920 and they do, like, these insane laser shows at Red Rocks. 875 00:57:30,922 --> 00:57:33,425 I didn't know you were a laser enthusiast. 876 00:57:34,659 --> 00:57:37,327 I'm a huge laser enthusiast. 877 00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:44,469 That's one of the many things that you don't know about me. 878 00:57:45,904 --> 00:57:47,339 I'm sorry. 879 00:57:49,341 --> 00:57:52,477 Man, it's gonna be weird when we don't see each other regularly. 880 00:57:56,514 --> 00:57:58,450 I mean, you could always come visit me. 881 00:57:59,818 --> 00:58:01,451 For sure. 882 00:58:01,453 --> 00:58:03,920 I'm gonna bring my laser arsenal. 883 00:58:03,922 --> 00:58:05,788 - I mean, that was implied. - Yeah. 884 00:58:05,790 --> 00:58:07,957 One goes like, "Pew-pew-pew." 885 00:58:07,959 --> 00:58:10,226 The others are like, "Zing-zong, zing-zong." 886 00:58:10,228 --> 00:58:11,694 - Your lasers make noises? - Uh-huh. 887 00:58:11,696 --> 00:58:14,366 Okay. That's... That's cool. 888 00:58:38,723 --> 00:58:39,824 Oh. 889 00:58:41,826 --> 00:58:43,361 Let's just go say hi. 890 00:58:43,728 --> 00:58:45,294 Uh... 891 00:58:45,296 --> 00:58:46,831 It's just weirder not to. 892 00:58:49,267 --> 00:58:51,934 - Hey, guys. - Oh! Sorry. 893 00:58:51,936 --> 00:58:55,507 This is the dance party area. For dancers. 894 00:58:57,809 --> 00:59:01,244 - Yo! Nick, what's up, man? - What's up, man? 895 00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:02,947 Um, April, this is Clara. 896 00:59:04,349 --> 00:59:05,817 Nice to meet you. 897 00:59:07,519 --> 00:59:09,187 Nice to meet you, too, Claire. 898 00:59:09,554 --> 00:59:11,387 It's Clara. 899 00:59:11,389 --> 00:59:13,656 You have a very firm handshake. 900 00:59:13,658 --> 00:59:15,992 - Very strong. - So do you. 901 00:59:15,994 --> 00:59:19,529 - Do you work out? - Do I work out my hands? 902 00:59:19,531 --> 00:59:23,466 Okay. I'm so glad we can all be here, and it's not awkward. 903 00:59:23,468 --> 00:59:24,600 Right. 904 00:59:24,602 --> 00:59:27,437 Not all of us are as drunk as you are. 905 00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:31,841 Well, it is the last party of our high school. 906 00:59:31,843 --> 00:59:34,644 Seems like you're having a difficult time moving on. 907 00:59:34,646 --> 00:59:38,614 Should we get shots? I want shots. Shots. 908 00:59:38,616 --> 00:59:40,516 - Yes, please. Nick? - Yes! Can't wait. 909 00:59:40,518 --> 00:59:42,654 Yes. That would be great. I'll take one. 910 00:59:43,588 --> 00:59:45,922 Can we go, please? 911 00:59:45,924 --> 00:59:47,724 Actually, we're just gonna go. 912 00:59:47,726 --> 00:59:48,727 Yeah? 913 00:59:58,303 --> 00:59:59,738 Go ahead and say it. 914 01:00:00,939 --> 01:00:02,538 Say what? 915 01:00:02,540 --> 01:00:03,541 Everything. 916 01:00:05,043 --> 01:00:06,478 I'm an idiot. 917 01:00:08,646 --> 01:00:10,046 I don't think we should do this in front of Steve. 918 01:00:10,048 --> 01:00:12,348 - Oh, fuck Steve! Come on. - Jesus! 919 01:00:12,350 --> 01:00:14,751 This is what you've been waiting for. Lay it on me. 920 01:00:14,753 --> 01:00:16,853 Yeah, well, what are you? A dock worker? 921 01:00:16,855 --> 01:00:20,089 - Lay it on me! - No yelling in the Lyft, please. 922 01:00:20,091 --> 01:00:23,559 Look, I don't have to tell you you're an idiot. You know you're an idiot. 923 01:00:23,561 --> 01:00:25,762 - Well, she's the one who started it. - We're not six years old, April! 924 01:00:25,764 --> 01:00:27,830 Oh, don't yell in the Lyft, Ben! 925 01:00:27,832 --> 01:00:29,599 I thought you wanted me to lay it on you. 926 01:00:29,601 --> 01:00:30,833 Well, I changed my mind. 927 01:00:30,835 --> 01:00:32,804 - What is it you want? - I don't know. 928 01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:44,580 - Sorry. - Get out! 929 01:00:44,582 --> 01:00:46,618 Like, get out here? 930 01:00:54,459 --> 01:00:55,627 Yeah, let's stop. 931 01:01:06,671 --> 01:01:08,538 - It's there. - What? 932 01:01:08,540 --> 01:01:09,541 Nothing. 933 01:01:11,543 --> 01:01:12,544 Okay. 934 01:01:19,450 --> 01:01:22,554 - I'm gonna order a new car. - Absolutely. 935 01:01:28,693 --> 01:01:30,562 - Surging. - Is it? 936 01:02:28,820 --> 01:02:30,920 Are you here to murder me? 937 01:02:30,922 --> 01:02:33,758 I don't think murderers tell their victims they're outside. 938 01:02:47,872 --> 01:02:49,040 Where's Clara? 939 01:02:51,743 --> 01:02:54,145 I don't know. She's at home. 940 01:02:56,481 --> 01:02:57,914 Did you leave with Ben last night? 941 01:02:57,916 --> 01:03:00,217 We split a Lyft. 942 01:03:00,219 --> 01:03:03,220 Clara's tits looked pretty vibrant last night. 943 01:03:03,222 --> 01:03:05,056 Can we not talk about her? 944 01:03:06,691 --> 01:03:07,692 Why? 945 01:03:08,559 --> 01:03:09,928 She's your girlfriend. 946 01:03:10,828 --> 01:03:12,463 She's not my girlfriend. 947 01:03:13,665 --> 01:03:15,965 Then what is she? 948 01:03:15,967 --> 01:03:17,936 This isn't the conversation I wanna have. 949 01:03:19,204 --> 01:03:21,472 What conversation did you wanna have? 950 01:03:27,578 --> 01:03:29,147 I think about you all the time. 951 01:03:36,788 --> 01:03:39,689 And then, seeing you last night... 952 01:03:39,691 --> 01:03:41,090 You broke up with me! 953 01:03:41,092 --> 01:03:43,695 - You broke up with me. - After you brought it up. 954 01:03:44,929 --> 01:03:46,231 That was hypothetical. 955 01:03:49,067 --> 01:03:50,702 Don't you miss me at all? 956 01:04:01,746 --> 01:04:03,079 Oh. 957 01:04:03,081 --> 01:04:05,184 Okay. Oh! 958 01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:44,820 We out, motherfucka! 959 01:04:44,822 --> 01:04:46,789 Fuck you, Ms. Leinart! 960 01:04:46,791 --> 01:04:48,824 - Fuck you! - Fuck you! 961 01:04:48,826 --> 01:04:52,030 - I hate your blazers! - I hate you, Dad! 962 01:04:53,265 --> 01:04:55,365 Attention. 963 01:04:55,367 --> 01:04:59,269 April Krillholtz eats hummus with her fingers. 964 01:04:59,271 --> 01:05:04,174 Attention. Nick Ellis can't pronounce the word "arugula." 965 01:05:04,176 --> 01:05:05,841 Arugyula. 966 01:05:05,843 --> 01:05:08,178 - Arugula. - Arugyula. 967 01:05:08,180 --> 01:05:09,945 Arugula. 968 01:05:09,947 --> 01:05:13,849 Attention. April Krillholtz used to flirt with me in history class. 969 01:05:13,851 --> 01:05:16,919 Oh, my God. You texted me cute little monkey emojis 970 01:05:16,921 --> 01:05:19,191 while we were learning about genocide. 971 01:05:20,259 --> 01:05:22,259 Yeah. 972 01:05:22,261 --> 01:05:24,729 It's 'cause I had a demented crush on you. 973 01:05:26,365 --> 01:05:28,933 I'm pretty sure that you had a crush on me, too. 974 01:05:33,238 --> 01:05:36,275 Attention. I'm pretty sure that you had a crush on me, too. 975 01:05:38,310 --> 01:05:39,811 I don't recall. 976 01:05:42,747 --> 01:05:44,082 So then, we just... 977 01:05:45,983 --> 01:05:49,221 dated for two years after that because... 978 01:05:55,294 --> 01:05:57,296 I had a huge crush on you. 979 01:06:42,274 --> 01:06:45,308 - You fucking lying whore. - What? 980 01:06:45,310 --> 01:06:46,811 He broke up with me. 981 01:06:53,885 --> 01:06:56,051 Hey! 982 01:06:56,053 --> 01:06:58,020 - He just showed up at my house. - Oh, really? 983 01:06:58,022 --> 01:07:00,055 How long after you showed up at the party? 984 01:07:00,057 --> 01:07:03,893 - That's not why I went. - Okay. Why'd you go? 985 01:07:03,895 --> 01:07:08,130 I had English with Bruno Shabaz. You don't even know him! 986 01:07:08,132 --> 01:07:10,300 Bruno Shabaz is not the point! 987 01:07:10,302 --> 01:07:12,169 If it were the other way around, you would've gone. 988 01:07:12,171 --> 01:07:14,337 You don't fucking know that! 989 01:07:14,339 --> 01:07:17,274 You loved boxing me out of my own life. 990 01:07:17,276 --> 01:07:20,976 And you loved making me your creepy boyfriend placeholder. 991 01:07:20,978 --> 01:07:22,077 That's not true! 992 01:07:22,079 --> 01:07:24,880 Using me so you could sneak your way back to him! 993 01:07:24,882 --> 01:07:26,183 Well, at least you got everything you wanted, 994 01:07:26,185 --> 01:07:29,386 acting like... Like he was your wife and I was your mistress. 995 01:07:29,388 --> 01:07:31,754 I'm sure you would've loved that, April. 996 01:07:31,756 --> 01:07:33,925 What the fuck does that mean? 997 01:07:35,294 --> 01:07:38,263 I am not the one that's fucked like half of Fresno. 998 01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:50,407 Have fun on your bus ride back to Mommy's. 999 01:07:50,409 --> 01:07:53,842 I was with him for two years. You were with him for two months. 1000 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:02,154 You know you're fired, right? 1001 01:08:03,522 --> 01:08:08,493 You've, uh, exhibited limited personal growth, so... 1002 01:08:16,568 --> 01:08:17,969 We have to tell Nick. 1003 01:08:19,238 --> 01:08:20,803 About you and Clara? 1004 01:08:20,805 --> 01:08:22,871 About you and me. 1005 01:08:22,873 --> 01:08:24,574 That's a hilarious joke. 1006 01:08:24,576 --> 01:08:28,846 Just to be clear, you were also in those bushes, buddy. 1007 01:08:30,182 --> 01:08:33,183 I'm developing an ulcer talking to you right now. 1008 01:08:33,185 --> 01:08:36,118 You're 18 years old. You're not developing an ulcer. 1009 01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,588 Funny story. I actually had an ulcer when I was 12. 1010 01:08:38,590 --> 01:08:40,390 You should see a doctor, then. 1011 01:08:40,392 --> 01:08:41,393 I did. 1012 01:08:42,994 --> 01:08:45,395 He told me to avoid stressful situations. 1013 01:08:45,397 --> 01:08:47,830 He's gonna find out eventually. 1014 01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:52,870 Well, isn't that the most familiar sentence in the history of this fucking summer. I... 1015 01:08:54,306 --> 01:08:56,073 I know. I just... 1016 01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:59,041 We're all leaving. 1017 01:08:59,043 --> 01:09:01,478 Right. And before we go to college, we should all hate each other. 1018 01:09:01,480 --> 01:09:03,879 Forever. 1019 01:09:03,881 --> 01:09:06,583 I feel like if we have this shit hanging over our heads, 1020 01:09:06,585 --> 01:09:08,917 then we would hate each other forever. 1021 01:09:08,919 --> 01:09:11,088 Shit that you created. 1022 01:09:12,957 --> 01:09:15,360 At least this gives us some kind of chance. 1023 01:09:19,598 --> 01:09:21,300 We could do it together. 1024 01:09:24,001 --> 01:09:25,370 Strength in numbers. 1025 01:09:43,255 --> 01:09:44,523 I feel like an asshole. 1026 01:09:46,123 --> 01:09:47,526 You're not the asshole. 1027 01:09:49,294 --> 01:09:50,395 Obviously. 1028 01:09:51,530 --> 01:09:53,097 You're the asshole. 1029 01:09:57,935 --> 01:10:00,172 Okay, well, there's one other thing. 1030 01:10:05,477 --> 01:10:07,011 I'm friends with Clara. 1031 01:10:07,646 --> 01:10:10,415 Or, we were friends. 1032 01:10:11,148 --> 01:10:12,417 Are you Brad Pitt? 1033 01:10:15,187 --> 01:10:18,223 I wasn't trying to hurt you. Or... 1034 01:10:19,558 --> 01:10:23,228 I was. I was trying to hurt you at first... 1035 01:10:24,663 --> 01:10:26,498 but then I just really liked her. 1036 01:10:36,241 --> 01:10:38,510 Please don't let me ruin things for you and Ben. 1037 01:11:56,555 --> 01:11:58,190 Oh. 1038 01:12:07,566 --> 01:12:08,567 Whenever you're ready. 1039 01:12:29,421 --> 01:12:30,422 Hey. 1040 01:12:32,089 --> 01:12:33,325 Want half this cookie? 1041 01:12:35,827 --> 01:12:37,696 Is it sativa or an indica? 1042 01:12:41,131 --> 01:12:42,767 It's a hybrid. 1043 01:12:51,576 --> 01:12:52,577 No hat. 1044 01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:55,514 What do you think? 1045 01:12:59,618 --> 01:13:02,285 I'll be home in two months. 1046 01:13:02,287 --> 01:13:05,087 I've never been away from you for more than two weeks. 1047 01:13:05,089 --> 01:13:07,490 Seems like the world will keep spinning. 1048 01:13:07,492 --> 01:13:09,592 Yeah, you have this little strumpet to keep you company. 1049 01:13:09,594 --> 01:13:11,761 - Kiss my fat ass. - You kiss my fat ass. 1050 01:13:11,763 --> 01:13:13,496 - You kiss my fat ass. - You kiss my fat ass. 1051 01:13:13,498 --> 01:13:15,765 - You kiss my fat ass. - You kiss my fat ass. 1052 01:13:15,767 --> 01:13:17,800 No! We were going to have one dinner 1053 01:13:17,802 --> 01:13:21,271 that does not end in talk of kissing asses and sucking dicks. 1054 01:13:21,273 --> 01:13:23,406 Your mouths are staying away from each other's genitals. 1055 01:13:23,408 --> 01:13:24,807 Your mouths are staying on your faces 1056 01:13:24,809 --> 01:13:27,277 and eating this fucking salmon that I made. 1057 01:13:27,279 --> 01:13:29,212 You're my daughters, my only two daughters, 1058 01:13:29,214 --> 01:13:32,415 and you're growing up, and April is going off to college, 1059 01:13:32,417 --> 01:13:36,286 and we are gonna make a very fucking nice memory! 1060 01:13:36,288 --> 01:13:39,255 All right, they do this in France. 1061 01:13:39,257 --> 01:13:40,258 Ooh! 1062 01:13:41,159 --> 01:13:42,592 I'll clean that up. 1063 01:13:42,594 --> 01:13:44,160 All right. Cheers. 1064 01:13:44,162 --> 01:13:46,229 Mom, you are so cool right now. 1065 01:13:46,231 --> 01:13:47,832 Yeah, I know. Thank you. 1066 01:13:50,602 --> 01:13:53,305 Just so you know, I'm over Nick. 1067 01:13:55,507 --> 01:13:56,906 You can have him, if you want. 1068 01:13:56,908 --> 01:13:59,876 Oof. He peaked in the 11th grade. 1069 01:13:59,878 --> 01:14:02,912 But there's a boy in my class I've been texting. 1070 01:14:02,914 --> 01:14:04,914 Isn't that a little young for you? 1071 01:14:04,916 --> 01:14:06,783 He shaves. 1072 01:14:14,459 --> 01:14:17,662 - Hey, is April here? I just need to talk to her for... - Ugh! 1073 01:14:20,198 --> 01:14:21,700 That girl's here! 1074 01:14:37,816 --> 01:14:41,417 I... I kinda had this whole speech planned... 1075 01:14:41,419 --> 01:14:43,221 but I'm not really sure if it was any good. 1076 01:14:45,357 --> 01:14:48,560 I'd still be interested in hearing it. 1077 01:14:50,462 --> 01:14:51,696 Well... 1078 01:14:52,631 --> 01:14:55,198 basically the main thing was, 1079 01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,934 I'm sorry for getting angry at you because you were upset. 1080 01:14:57,936 --> 01:15:00,572 that I was fucking your ex-boyfriend. 1081 01:15:01,539 --> 01:15:04,175 If you follow that. 1082 01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:05,777 I do. Yeah. 1083 01:15:07,245 --> 01:15:10,915 And I'm sorry for throwing Icee at your face. 1084 01:15:11,683 --> 01:15:13,318 You threw it at my boobs. 1085 01:15:14,619 --> 01:15:16,254 I was aiming for your face. 1086 01:15:18,390 --> 01:15:19,724 Well, I deserved it. 1087 01:15:21,793 --> 01:15:23,161 You were right. 1088 01:15:24,462 --> 01:15:28,166 I went to that party because I was jealous you were with him. 1089 01:15:28,933 --> 01:15:29,934 I know. 1090 01:15:32,537 --> 01:15:36,608 But really, I was jealous that he was with you. 1091 01:15:38,877 --> 01:15:40,812 I had a lot of fun with you this summer. 1092 01:15:43,415 --> 01:15:44,683 Me, too. 1093 01:15:47,752 --> 01:15:49,554 I'm sorry I fucked it up. 1094 01:15:51,556 --> 01:15:55,960 Well, can we un-fuck it up? I mean, when do you leave? 1095 01:15:57,829 --> 01:16:00,298 Tomorrow. At 3:00. 1096 01:16:00,865 --> 01:16:02,200 So... 1097 01:16:02,834 --> 01:16:03,835 Oh. 1098 01:16:06,471 --> 01:16:09,708 I was gonna show up at your door in the morning. 1099 01:16:11,276 --> 01:16:12,711 I was gonna drive there. 1100 01:16:14,512 --> 01:16:15,914 Because I drive now. 1101 01:16:18,883 --> 01:16:21,951 You got your license? Krillholtz! 1102 01:16:28,760 --> 01:16:29,761 So... 1103 01:16:30,729 --> 01:16:31,694 where are we going? 1104 01:16:31,696 --> 01:16:34,664 You're the one that's leaving. You choose. 1105 01:16:34,666 --> 01:16:37,433 - So you're staying in LA? - For now. 1106 01:16:37,435 --> 01:16:39,635 I'm thinking about checkin' out some canary schools. 1107 01:16:42,440 --> 01:16:44,741 'Cause I'll be back in November. 1108 01:16:44,743 --> 01:16:46,676 - Mmm-hmm. - And December. 1109 01:16:46,678 --> 01:16:49,345 And summer, so June, July, August. 1110 01:16:49,347 --> 01:16:50,813 And we can FaceTime. 1111 01:16:50,815 --> 01:16:53,750 So, like, a long-distance relationship. 1112 01:16:53,752 --> 01:16:57,453 Exactly. But without the sex. 1113 01:16:57,455 --> 01:17:00,825 Good. Because I love you, but I'm not gonna have sex with you. 1114 01:17:03,728 --> 01:17:04,763 What'd you say? 1115 01:17:06,030 --> 01:17:07,832 I said we are never fucking. 1116 01:17:09,667 --> 01:17:11,436 You said you loved me. 1117 01:17:13,438 --> 01:17:15,638 Oh, my God... Yeah, I love you. Don't ruin the moment. 1118 01:17:15,640 --> 01:17:18,641 But I want to ruin it! I love you, too. 1119 01:17:18,643 --> 01:17:22,011 I love you so much! 1120 01:17:23,114 --> 01:17:26,382 Okay, but you, you love me. 1121 01:17:26,384 --> 01:17:28,417 - Where are we going? - I don't know. 1122 01:17:31,589 --> 01:17:32,624 All right. 1123 01:17:34,058 --> 01:17:35,059 You love me. 1124 01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:37,328 Oh, God. 1125 01:19:36,650 --> 01:19:41,650 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 81362

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