Original subtitles

The last full moon of that spring came a little

more than a month before school let out for summer vacation.

Out town's long nightmare began that night.

♪ My beer is Rheingold, the dry beer ♪

♪ Think of Rheingold whenever you buy beer ♪

♪ It's not bitter, not sweet ♪

♪ It's a real frosty treat ♪

♪ Won't you buy, won't you buy Rheingold beer ♪

♪ Won't you try, won't you buy ♪

- Jesus, Arnie.

What, are you afraid of the boogeyman?

God.

Come on out of there, buster, and gimme a hand.

All right, what is it that you want, Arnie?

I want some Rheingold.

Soon as I get this dirt out of here.

Rheingold time, Arnie.

Oh shit.

The killing had begun, but at first no one knew it.

You see, Arnie Westrum was a chronic drunk,

and what happened seemed like an accident.

The county coroner concluded that Arnie had passed out

on the tracks.

There wasn't enough evidence to conclude anything else.

- Yeah.

- Did you remember the deviled ham?

- Oh, this is just such a wonderful day.

This is Tarker's Mills where I grew up,

and this is how it looked that spring.

A town where people cared about each other

as much as they cared about themselves.

I was nearly 15 years old,

and my brother Marty was 11.

- We'd like to get things started now.

All right, can I have your attention please, everybody?

We'd like to get things started now if we could.

Lot of chairs down here.

Come on right down and sit down.

All right, without further ado, I'd like to turn things over

to our own Reverend Lester Lowe.

- I'm gonna go, okay?

- All right, but stay close.

Thank you folks.

Now I've asked Joe to tap me

on the shoulder. - And make sure

your brother's all right. - If I stand up here

flapping my jaws too long.

- Make sure your brother's all right.

- You'll remember to do that.

won't you, Joe? - Marty's a booger.

- Wow.

Marty was the cross I had to bear.

A little old garter snake, hell no.

He wasn't so bad actually.

- Let me hold him.

He was just constantly

thrown in my face by my parents.

I hope that this meeting

will make dreams come true. - I have an idea.

- What?

This fine medcu unit would not be a thing...

- Oh, you wouldn't. - The town of Tarker's Mills.

- Oh, you would.

It will be a gift

from the town. - Only let's not, you know,

go bananas or anything.

- Who, me?

- An endeavor like this seems to me to be

the very definition of community.

- Marty.

Now I know you all are probably tired

of listening to me flap my jaws.

- Marty.

So I'm gonna turn the microphone over

to Mayor O'Banion.

Just when I was getting used to it too.

Aw, Janey.

- God damn it!

- Come on, Jane, it's just a garter snake.

- Look at my hose.

Oh, I hate you!

- Jane, I'm shocked at you.

Thank you, Reverend Lowe.

Thanks, folks. - Stop it, Brady.

As Mayor, I just want to say that I hope

we can raise that money before Christmas.

Look alive.

Hey, Jane, did you wet your pants?

- Jane, I'm sorry.

- Oh yeah, sure.

- I didn't mean to.

- Oh no, you never mean to!

I hate you, you booger!

All of us here in Tarker's Mills...

I hate him.

- Well sure looks like we got her goat that time, didn't we?

- Shut up, Brady.

You're warped. - It's things like this

that we all get behind as the reverend has said

that we believe in, and when we need it,

that's all we have to have.

Now I am proud to announce that there are a couple

last minute details for the next...

- It'll just take a minute.

Come here for a minute, I have to talk to you.

- I told you, babe, it ain't my baby.

Don't you ever drag me

off like that. - Please don't say that.

You know it's your baby.

- Look, we had this

conversation before. - You know I haven't

been with anybody.

- Sorry babe. - I have to have some help.

I don't know what to do. - It's your oven,

but it ain't my bun you got baking in there.

See ya. - You have to help me.

Remember the good times, you know what I mean?

Reverend Lowe is continuing the recycling drive.

- Now I want you two to bury the hatchet.

You're being very silly, Jane.

- Did you see my knee?

Did you see my outfit?

- Marty has apologized, and you know as well as I do

he couldn't have climbed that tree to stop Brady anyway.

- You always take his side because he's crippled.

Well, it's not my fault he's crippled!

- You just wanna be quiet or I am gonna smack you.

Now I mean it.

- Come on, Jane, I'm sorry, but Brady wouldn't stop.

- Oh hey, pumpkin, don't forget to help your brother.

Bob, I don't have my keys.

- Just a minute, sweetheart.

Now don't sweat the small stuff, Janie.

Honey, where do you want this?

- Come on, hurry up.

- Is Uncle Red still coming to visit?

- Mom told Dad that Uncle Red is getting a divorce.

Another divorce, and she said he was drunk.

Yeah, that's your great uncle, a chronic drunk.

- He is not. - He is so.

- Janie, Janie, you awake?

- What's the money for?

- A new pair of pantyhose.

Is it enough?

Jane, please take the money.

It was Brady's idea, honest to God.

I want to make up.

- I can get a pair of Leggs down at the pharmacy for $1.49.

Here.

- Is it true what you said about Uncle Red?

- Yes, I'm sorry I told you the way I did.

It was mean.

- It's okay, never did much like Sheila anyway.

Maybe I'll like the next one better.

- Suicides go to hell, especially if they're pregnant.

And I don't even care.

- You have to understand this is not

a normal situation down here.

Well, that's what he told me his morning.

Well, I'm happy to hear that.

You think it'll sometime this week?

Well, that's good.

When and how many?

Hey, fuck off.

- What'd he say, Joe?

- He said they'd be here by noon.

- Maybe that wasn't such a good idea telling that

Smokey bear from the detective division to fuck off, Joe.

- Well, I waited till he hung up.

Jesus Christ, what a mess.

- Joe Halter couldn't find his own ass if somebody

rammed it full of radium and gave him a Geiger counter.

- Could be I know a fella who's still POed about being fined

a couple of hundred bucks for that little fender bender

he had back on Ridge Road last year.

- Well, it could be I know a fat old fella

who ought to take care of his mouth

before someone comes along and turns it inside out.

Uh oh.

- We pay our taxes to keep this town safe,

and Joe Halter ain't doing it.

- Last town report said you were in arrears

in your taxes, Andy.

Guess you caught up, huh?

- What are you trying to be smart?

- Now you boys better turn down your thermostats

or you can both get the hell out of here.

You got me?

Now who's drinkin'?

- Good bye, kids. - Bye, Mrs. Carrey.

- Have a wonderful summer. - Let's go.

- Hey, it's mad man Marty and the Silver Bullet.

- Hey, Marty. - So, Marty,

glad to be out of jail?

- No, I like school.

- Booger.

Be careful.

- Not had, huh?

Uncle Red took off the regular muffler

and put on a cherry bomb.

- What's that?

- Blast pack.

He said he's making me a new wheelchair, a custom job.

But now I don't know.

He's getting a divorce and he's in the doghouse with my mom.

- For getting a divorce?

- Well, it is his third.

Come on, Tammy.

- Thanks for coming home with me, Marty.

I was scared to go past her house by myself.

- Yeah, it is a little scary.

- I mean, I saw her all the time.

- Hey, take it easy.

I know how you feel.

- There's something else scary.

- What?

- That, I've been hearing noises out there.

- Tammy, get on in here.

Help your momma with the laundry.

- Well, I would go take a look myself,

but I think the Bullet would get stuck in the mud.

- You would, wouldn't you?

- Yeah, sure, no sweat.

- Tammy!

- I gotta go, Tammy.

- Thanks again for coming home with me.

- Damn cripples, always end up on welfare.

Ought to electrocute 'em all, balance the god damn budget.

- Oh, come on, baby.

Hey, Mr. Cuts.

- Well, Marty, I see you lucked out again.

- Yep, would you fill her up please?

- Want me to check the oil?

- Yeah, sure.

- Wipe the windshield, check the driver's bullshit level?

- There's a guy sitting in the bar.

The bartender says, hey, jackass, give me a drink,

so the bartender pours him a drink.

He drinks it, sits there for a while, says, hey, jackass,

pour me another drink, so he pours another drink.

The guy gets up and leaves.

The guy that's sittin' there says, hey,

why do you let him all you jackass all the time?

The bartender says, oh, hee haw, hee haw,

he always calls me that.

That's good, isn't it?

- Yeah.

You might as well fold

because you don't stand a challenge to me.

- Yeah, I'll see you and I'll raise you this.

- You can't bet managers.

You can't bet managers.

- Okay, okay. - We said time and time again

you can't bet managers.

- So I'll bet you a Yankee.

- Piss on the Yankees, piss on the Indians,

piss on the Phillies.

- Come on. - Piss on the.

- Red. - Piss on.

- Mom, come on.

- Whoa, Nan, let him finish the game, okay?

- Make it quick. - Okay.

What'd you say, Yankees? - Mhm.

- I see your Yankee and I'll call you.

I got three kings, read 'em and weep.

- I got a straight to the queen.

- That's bullshit luck, bullshit luck.

- That's enough.

- I'm feeling this time. - That's enough.

- Hey, can I at least say good night?

Good night.

Here, gimme a kiss.

- Ugh, aw.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- See you later.

- Yeah. - See you in the morning.

- Okay. - I'll see you in the morning.

- Okay. - Wake me up.

- Okay. - No, I'll wake you up.

- Okay. - Okay.

Honey, ask your sister to help you.

I'll be up in a minute.

I will, Mom.

- Good night.

I don't want you drinking around Marty.

- Don't be tellin' me what to do.

You been tellin' me what to do all my life.

- Red, I don't care how you live,

but he is a very impressionable little boy.

- You know, you think your only responsibility

is getting his butt out of the chair and into the tub

and out of the chair and onto the toilet.

And you ought to realize there's more to Marty

than him not being able to walk.

- It's so easy for you, isn't it?

- Yeah, it is.

- You blow in here once a month, and you tell a few jokes

and you have a few beers and then you want to lecture me

about how to raise my son.

Well, I am the one who is responsible for how he feels

when he sees you like this and how he feels when you leave.

Red, Marty has enough strikes against him as it is.

- He doesn't have strikes against him.

- That I am scared to death that someday

he is just gonna give up.

- He's not gonna give up.

- Well, he doesn't need you showing him how to do it!

- Another wonderful night here at Sister Nan's.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the

very best in professional wrestling, world wide wresting.

And John we've got a very exciting match.

We have one of the young lions in there, Brian Adias.

- Come on, Rebel.

We're gonna bust him up tonight.

We're gonna kick some ass.

We're gonna kick some ass.

Ow.

Bust him up.

Bust his chops.

Dislocated his shoulder with a crack

and it also...

- Those kids.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, Rebel, airplane.

Oh, that's it.

Oh, that hurts my parts.

God damn.

So he gives him the arm bar.

Brian Adias is thinking about it right now.

- I'm just gonna have to do something about this.

We'll see if yo wanna come back and bust up my pots

after I put this rock salt up your ass.

Come around and bust up my pots, I'm gonna bust up your ass.

Sons of bitches.

I hope you're in there.

I hope you're in there because I'm gonna

blow your ass off with this salt.

Shit.

Ain't that a hell of a note.

That was Pat Carpenter with It's All Right.

And a reminder to all

citizens in Tarker's Mills. - Isn't that something?

To please observe Sheriff Halter's curfew.

After 5:00 p.m., please stay indoors.

- Halter.

Well, you got any leads?

- I'm workin' on it, Mayor.

- Mayor.

- David, come here.

Come on, let's get inside.

- Brady, I got it.

Great.

- Marty Coslaw, you get out of that tree.

Supper was ready an hour ago, Dumbo.

- Oh geez, I forgot.

Is she mad?

- Yeah, at me for not finding you sooner.

- Help me with the Bullet, please.

- I ought to let you fall.

Come on.

- Hey, Brady, you coming?

- In a while.

Come on, Marty.

Marty, it's getting late.

- Hey, we ought to make Joe Halter a dog catcher.

You know, nothing big, just the little poodles.

- Andy, Andy, Andy, lighten up.

Let Joe handle the investigation.

- Investigation? - Yeah.

- This whole investigation has been about as efficient

as a submarine with screen doors.

- I've heard enough out of you, Andy Fairton.

- Come on, Pete, it's not worth it.

- Let him go.

- If you don't shut your mouth, I'm gonna shut it for you.

- What'd you say?

- Well, you heard what I said, motor mouth.

- You wanna dance, doughboy?

Come on. - Test him, test him.

- Has anybody in here seen my son, Brady?

- Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.

Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners

now and at the hour of our death.

- Herb, Herb, wait up, Herb.

- Herb.

- Is it my boy? - Herb, Herb.

Herb, don't go up there.

- Is it Brady? - Don't go up there!

- Brady, Brady! - Herb!

- Mr. and Mrs. Kincaid have asked

that I say a word of comfort to you if I could.

If there is any word of comfort I can give you,

it's just this,

that the face of the beast always becomes known.

And the time of the beast always passes.

- Nan, how about if I take the boy home?

- Red.

Okay.

- Thank you.

Come on, Marty, you're going with me.

Bob, Jane, see you at the house.

- All right.

Come on. - How do you feel?

- How would you feel?

- They better get that guy.

- Uncle Red?

-Yo.

- What if it's not a guy?

- What do you mean?

- Well, what if it's some kinda monster?

- Yeah, what if it's some kinda monster?

You know, like a werewolf or something.

- Oh, that's a good one, yeah.

Here we go.

- You know, Tammy told me she'd been hearing noises

in the greenhouse, growling noises.

Her father was killed that night.

- Listen, Marty, you have got to get this idea

out of your head.

Psychotics are more active when the moon is full,

and this guy's a psycho.

When they catch him, you're gonna find out

he's just as human as you and me.

- Get on with it. - Let's get on the road!

- Okay, okay! - What's going on here?

- Come on. - Come on.

- You all know what groups you're in

and what areas you'll be covering, right?

- Right. - Yeah.

- Come on, we know. - Damn straight!

- Groups one through four,

in the woods north of the Sturmfuller place.

- Right. - Okay.

- Five and six, west of Carson Creek.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Now if he comes out in the moonlight tonight for a stroll,

we're gonna get that sorry son of a...

- I want all you people to go home!

I don't remember deputizing a single one of you.

- That's right, Joe.

The only deputy you got is that fat shit bag beside you,

and neither one of you has done anything about solving this case.

- Yeah, huh? - We'll catch him.

- You couldn't catch a cold.

- The law has a name for what you people are planning.

It's called private justice, and private justice is about

a step and a half away from lynch mobs and hang ropes.

Now I may be no J. Edgar Hoover,

but I am the law in Tarker's Mills.

I want all you people to go home.

- Yeah. - All right.

- Don't let this guy scare you.

And what's he done since this whole thing started

but hang his face out?

He ain't got so much as a fingerprint.

- Shut up, Andy.

- No, don't tell me to shut up.

- Yes.

Shut up.

I just came from my boy's funeral.

- Herb.

Herb, I know how upset, how grief-stricken you must be.

- He was torn apart.

- I know that.

- Upset, grief-stricken?

You don't know what those words mean.

My son was torn to pieces.

Pieces.

My son was torn to pieces!

And you come in here and talk to these men

about private justice?

You dare to do that?

Why don't you go out to Harmony Hill, Sheriff Halter,

and dig up what's left of my boy Brady

and explain to him about private justice.

Would you want to do that?

As for me, I'm gonna go out

and hunt up a little private justice.

- You heard him, let's go!

- Yeah. - Let's go, come on.

- Let's go!

Come on, Russ.

Come on, Pete.

Come on, Bud.

Get out of the way, Reverend.

- Stop, stop!

- I'm sorry, Reverend.

- Andy, Andy, please listen to me.

Don't do this.

Joe.

- Aw, let 'em go, Reverend.

This is that community spirit you been talking about.

It's great, ain't it?

- Come on, boys, let's go!

Let's do it.

- Stop, stop, this is a bad idea.

Don't do this. - I ain't scared, Reverend.

- No, David, no.

David. - Get out of the road!

- Please, please.

- It's about freakin' time!

It's about time.

He's gonna be burned by the time we get out there.

- Get that thing loaded, will ya?

- Come on.

- Totally disarm him.

Get 'em up there.

- What was that?

- What's over there.

- Don't point that at me.

- Hey, Andy. - Yes?

- Over here, boss. - We're movin' up there.

Let us know which way to go.

Okay, come on up here.

Come on, Jerry, this way.

Damn, Jack, turn the light.

- All right, all right. - Turn it the other way.

I'm sorry.

- Come on.

- Jesus, that was close.

- Come on, be careful.

- Help me, God! - What is it?

- My foot, my foot, get it off me!

- I'm coming, sure, sure.

Oh careful.

Okay, okay.

I got it. - Hey, over here!

- Oh no.

Hold on, I'll get it, I'll get it.

I'm right behind ya.

- Watch each other's back now.

- Andy, there ain't nothin' here.

Let's go back to the car.

- Bobby, come on.

- It's in the fog. - Come on.

- Careful, Maggie.

- All right, I'm gonna go through here.

You follow me one at a time.

- I'm right behind you.

Woody.

- It came from over there.

- As far as I could tell, it came in back of us.

It ain't down there, Andy.

- We're gonna spread out in a skirmish line.

That son of a bitch tries to come around us, we'll get him.

Okay, Edgar.

Oh shit.

Come on.

- I don't know.

- What's the matter, Bobby,

you gonna make lemonade in your pants?

- I ain't scared, let's go.

- Where's it coming from, over there?

- No, it's behind us.

I told you you couldn't trust this fog.

- It's under the fog.

- What are you sayin'?

- It's right here with us.

- I can't move.

- Start backing up, Andy.

- Yeah.

- Real slow.

- My God.

- Come on!

- Son of a bitch!

I'll get.

♪ Amazing grace, how sweet the sound ♪

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪

♪ I once was lost ♪

♪ But now I'm found ♪

♪ Was blind but now I see ♪

- It's hard at a time like this to find the words

to offer you any comfort.

There is no comfort.

There is only private justice.

- The Bible tells us not to fear the terror

that creepeth by night or that which flyeth by noonday,

and yet we do because there's so much we don't know

and we feel very small.

Reverend, he was torn apart!

- No!

No!

No!

Let it end, dear God, let it end.

- Aw, they canceled the fireworks.

Aw, it's no fair.

- Aw, look out world, Marty the great

didn't get something he wanted.

- Stop it, Jane.

- I don't see why everybody nearly breaks down and cries

whenever Marty doesn't get what he wants.

- Pumpkin, what did your mother say?

It's about time you backed off, young lady.

It's always my fault.

Jane, you won't let up.

Come on now, let's get home.

- I don't believe it. - Residents can ensure

their safety by observing the Sheriff's curfew

and not by leaving town.

On a personal note, folks, this is the time

to be pulling together, not to be bailing out.

Now let's hear from Sue Ann Eckersley.

♪ Friday night and I'm lookin' in the mirror ♪

- I need a Phillips screwdriver.

- You know, it's not enough that the monster

killed all those people.

He killed Brady.

Now he's got them to cancel the fair.

- And the fireworks.

- Yeah, and the fireworks, that's another thing.

- Where's your mom?

- She and dad are out back lighting the barbecue.

Yeah, Jane's walking around in all these new clothes

showing off her tits,

acting like nobody ever had tits before her.

Mom, can you throw that back?

Okay.

- Let me see if I got this right.

The guy killed your best friend,

drove your best girl out of town, and now he's responsible

for canceling the only carnival you got.

Am I lying?

- No, you're not lying, Uncle Red.

- Well, it just so happens I've got something

that might cheer you up.

- Oh, you mean I can see it?

- Yeah, it's time.

- Now? - Yeah, now.

So cover your eyes.

- Oh, come on. - Cover your eyes.

- Aw, Jesus.

- I been busting my ass on this deal.

Ta-da.

- Wow.

- It's an ass-kicker, isn't it?

Is that for me?

Well, hell yes, it's for you.

Damn, looks good.

Wow, it's beautiful.

- Do you have a pilot's license?

- Do I need one?

- I can't see it.

Red.

- Hey.

Hey, Red.

- One more game.

- Okay, the coast is clear.

Are you ready?

- Oh yeah.

- I feel like a virgin on prom night.

Here's how you start it.

Do you remember what I told you?

- Yeah.

- Now be damn careful.

- Okay.

- Now you start it.

- Okay. - Put your hand on the brake.

- Push? - There you go, push.

Sounds good, doesn't it?

- Oh yeah. - Yeah, you ready?

- Yeah.

- Shake.

Go get 'em, pal.

Watch it.

Be careful.

- Oh, oh man!

- Stop, brake!

Oh, the kid's dead meat.

- Oh yes!

All right!

Woo!

Woo!

Oh yeah!

Woo!

Woo!

That was wicked.

- Oh, I hope you're happy.

You're looking at a dying man here.

- This thing goes super, super fast.

- I know it goes super fast, and you better watch it.

Because if your mother finds out just how fast it goes,

I'm gonna end up singing soprano in the Vienna Boys' Choir.

- You know, I don't get you.

- I know you don't, but listen to me.

I built that for you because I love you.

Right from my heart.

And I want you to be careful on it

because if you got hurt on it, it'd kill me.

Let's get some barbecue, okay?

Boy, I tell you after every pork tartar dinner I eat.

- Oh!

- Oh now, come on.

One more piece to bite.

- Are you sure about that?

Oh geez.

Would anybody else like a bite?

- No, thank you.

- No? - Maybe.

- It was good. - Well, go ahead.

- Listen, no, put it down.

- Come on, do it.

- I've got to go.

- Okay.

- And I've had a wonderful time.

- So have 1.

I wish it could always be like this.

- Well, maybe it will if you keep inviting me down

when you're cook these pork dinners.

- Okay, it's a deal. - Garbanzo.

Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Uncle Red.

- See you later, Janie. - Bye.

Bob. - So long, Red.

Whoops. - Oh my God, oops.

- At least it wasn't my drink.

- Okay, why don't you walk me around to my car.

Walk me around to my car

and see if I can stay out of trouble that long.

Thank you very much.

- Bye bye.

- Bye.

- Come on, let's go.

- Nan, some more coffee.

- Did I tell you I'm gonna open up a reptile farm

and get me a roadside animal cookery?

- You're nuts.

- Now that'd be some kinda barbecue.

Here we go.

Now I said I had something for you,

as I believe you do recall.

- Yeah, what is it?

- You're gonna have 4th of July,

but you're gonna have it in September.

Now remember, it isn't just the fireworks.

It's so no crazy shithead can stop the good guys

if you can dig that.

Yeah, I do.

- Now stay near the house.

- Yeah, sure. - Okay.

Save this for the last.

It's a rocket, you'll like it.

Thanks a million, Uncle Red.

- You're welcome a million, Marty.

Stick 'em in the bushes for night now, okay?

- All right.

- Now remember, stay near the house, okay?

- Promise. - Okay.

- All right. - That's good.

Now I want you to have a good time.

- Thanks a lot, Uncle Red.

- Watch out for the werewolf.

- Good bye.

All right.

This is for the good guys.

Whoa, yeah!

Woo!

Whoa.

- Oh shit.

Hello?

Uncle Red, it's me Marty.

I saw the werewolf last night.

- Oh, Marty.

I saw the werewolf.

- Hey, buddy, you had a bad dream.

It wasn't a dream, Uncle Red.

I saw the werewolf with the firecrackers.

He was there.

- There are no such things as werewolves.

There is, I saw it.

Uncle Red, it was a werewolf.

- Have some pity on your poor uncle, okay?

Uncle Red, I saw.

Jesus.

- What?

- Who was that?

- Obscene phone call.

- Marty, you okay?

You've just been sitting here all morning.

- Where's Mom?

- Out shopping, why?

- Jane, I got to talk to you.

- About what?

- Well, Uncle Red won't believe me.

And if you don't help me...

- What is it?

He told me something that was clearly unbelievable,

and yet somehow I believed most of it.

And I understood one thing with total clarity,

Marty himself believed it all.

Marty had seen where the rocket had struck home, he said,

and I went out that day looking for more

than just cans and bottles.

Hi, Mrs. Thayer.

I'm collecting returnable bottles and cans

for the medcu drive.

I was wondering if you had any.

I was looking for a man or a woman with just one eye.

Hello, Jane.

Who is it?

- It's Jane Coslaw.

- Hello, Jane.

- I know what you're after, Jane, and you're out of luck.

Little Toby Wichlaw come in here yesterday,

and I gave 'em all to him.

- That's okay.

That you, Mr. Fairton?

Got any bottles or cans?

No.

Bye, Mr. McLaren.

- Bye, Jane.

Jesus.

- Gentlemen, I'm sorry to disturb your lunch.

I'm collecting bottles for the medcu drive.

I was just wondering if any of you had seen Mr. Robertson.

Oh, hi, Mr. Robertson.

I was wondering if you had any.

I guess not, thanks.

It's my own fault believing Marty.

Little asshole.

Hi, Reverend Lowe, I'm ready to turn my bottles in.

- Hi, Janie, and how are you?

- All right, I guess.

It's just my little brother gets me so mad sometimes.

- Well, Jane.

Little brothers sometimes do that.

Take your cart on around to the garage,

then bring me your tally sheet.

Having some trouble?

Why, Janie, you're trembling.

- I don't feel well.

I think maybe I got too much sun.

- Well, would you like to come in the parlor

and lie down for a bit?

- No.

Or have a cold drink.

I have some soda.

- I think I should get home and help my mom with dinner.

- I'll give you a ride.

No.

- Give my best to your brother, Jane.

- I will.

Geez, what'd you do then?

- I ran faster than I've ever run in my life.

What do you think?

By the time I got back here, I thought I was gonna faint.

Marty, what are we gonna do?

If we tell anyone, grown-ups I mean, they'd laugh.

What are we gonna do?

- I think I know.

I mailed another letter for Marty the next day,

a third the day after that,

then on Saturday we told Uncle Red what we'd been up to.

His reaction was less than serene.

- Holy jumped up ball-headed Jesus palomino.

- Uncle Red.

- From him, I'd expect it.

Sometimes I think your common sense

got paralyzed along with your legs.

But from you, Jane, you're Miss Polly Practical.

- You don't understand.

- I understand that my niece and my nephew

are sending little love notes to the local minister

suggesting that he gargle with broken glass

or eat a rat poison omelet.

- It came for me, I shot it in the eye,

and now he's wearing an eye patch.

- I wish I had a tape recorder

so you could hear what you sound like.

- What about the baseball bat Jane saw in his shed?

- What about it?

- You know who used to have a baseball bat like that?

Mr. Knopfler.

- So? - It looked like Bigfoot

had used it for a toothpick.

- You wanna know what I think?

- No, we just called you out here

to admire your pretty little face.

- You better watch your mouth right now.

You're on thin ice with me, son.

I think you had a hallucination.

I think it's probably a broomstick or something.

- It was not.

Do you want me to show it to you?

Come on, I'm not afraid, I'll show it to you right now.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm a little too old

to be playing the Hardy Boys meet Reverend Werewolf.

- Jane, forget it.

- Jesus, yeah, forget it, forget it.

Werewolves. - Probably have gotten

rid of it by now anyway.

- This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Just forget it, it's crazy.

You see your suspect yet, Marty?

Yes, I see him.

- Are you trying to tell me that a man

who took a rocket in the eye three nights ago

is out here painting a thermometer?

He'd either be in the hospital or he would be dead.

I didn't shoot him when he was a man.

I shot him when he was...

- What, a werewolf?

Oh Jesus.

Jane, you don't believe this madness, do you?

- I don't know exactly what I believe, but I know that

what I saw was a baseball bat and not a broomstick.

And I know there was something strange about the way

the garage smelled that day.

It smelled like an animal's den.

And I believe in Marty.

You used to believe in him too, Uncle Red.

- Kids.

Throw it over here.

- Hey, Marty, wanna go to Robertson's for a soda??

- No thanks, I think I'm gonna go home.

Okay, see ya.

- Yeah, see ya.

Oh my God!

Come on, geez.

Come on.

Come on, come on.

- Marty, I'm very sorry about this, Marty.

I don't know if you believe that or not, but it's true.

I would never willingly hurt a child.

- Please, I won't tell anyone.

- You should've left me alone, Marty.

I can't kill myself.

Our religion teaches that suicide is the greatest sin

a man or a woman can commit.

Stella was going to commit suicide,

and if he had done so, she'd be burning in hell right now.

By killing her, I took her physical life,

but I saved her life eternal.

You see how all things serve the will and the mind of God.

You see, you meddling little shit.

You're gonna have a terrible accident, Marty.

You're gonna fall in the river.

- Mr. Zimmerman, help me!

Please, help me!

Mr. Zimmerman, please!

Mr. Zimmerman, I'm on the bridge!

Help me, please!

- That you, Marty?

Spooky in there, isn't it?

- Well, I'll tell you, it's a lot easier to swallow

without the foaming jaws and the hair and the teeth.

You talk to the sheriff?

- Yes, after Marty's latest thrilling tale of wonder.

But he's had no complaints of poisoned penpals.

- See, told you.

Shut up, Marty.

- Jane.

What color is Lowe's car?

- Blue.

This blue.

- Jesus.

- That is the craziest god damn story

I have ever heard in my life.

- I know.

- Do you believe any of this?

You do, don't you?

- Well, let's just say I believe

that Reverend Lowe ought to be checked out.

- That can be arranged.

- Thank you, Joe.

- Reverend Lowe?

- Can I help you, Joe?

- I think you'd better come along with me, Reverend.

- But it's not my fault!

Sheriff Halter said he'd check him out.

And guess what?

No one sees him again.

- Well, what do you suggest I do about it?

- I want you to turn this into a silver bullet.

- You won't let go of it, will you?

- I saw what I saw.

- Marty, the moon wasn't even full.

- In the made up stories, the guy who's the werewolf

only changes when the moon is full.

But maybe he's like this almost all the time.

Only as the moon gets fuller...

- The guy gets wolfier.

- Oh shit.

- Here, take mine too.

- Why don't you guys tell me how this guy Lowe

became a werewolf?

- I don't know, maybe he doesn't know either.

- I think he's going to come after me.

Not just because I know who he is, but because I hurt him.

But I think he'll wait till the moon's all the way full

and there's no Reverend Lowe at all, only the monster.

- You've gone right out of your mind.

- Will you do it?

- Boy.

Stay.

Hello.

My nephew has just discovered the Lone Ranger,

and I wondered if you could help me here.

- You want a silver bullet, eh?

The man Uncle Red had gone to see

was more than a gunsmith.

He was, Uncle Red said, an old world craftsman,

a sort of wizard of weapons.

He confirmed the high-grade silver content of my crucifix

and Marty's medallion, melted them down,

and molded them into a silver bullet.

Marty had read all the legends about werewolves.

And though they differed on several minor points,

they all agreed on one.

It takes silver to kill a werewolf.

And we were taking no chances.

- There it is.

Nicest piece of work I ever done, I think.

It's got a low grain load so it won't tumble.

Ought to be pretty accurate.

- Oh, well shoot, it's just a gag.

I mean, what the heck you gonna shoot

a .44 bullet at anyway made out of silver?

- How about a werewolf?

The night of the next full moon came on Halloween,

and a happy coincidence left us

in the sole care of Uncle Red.

- You'd think we were going to London for a month

instead of New York for a weekend.

At least it seemed like a coincidence.

- Now remember we'll be at the Plaza.

- And I got the number. - Right.

Okay, see if I've got everything.

Okay, well, bye.

Bye.

- Bye honey. - Have fun.

- Thank you, thank you so much.

- Whoa, sis.

It's just my luck to win a romantic trip for two

after Sheila leaves me, that's all this is.

You got the tickets?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Okay, now go and have fun.

- Bye.

- Have fun, Bob. - You too, Red.

Don't let those kids run you ragged.

- No, they won't run me ragged.

- And listen, don't let any trick or treaters in

even if they come.

- We won't. - We won't.

- We won't. - Okay.

- Bye Dad, bye Mom. - Bye bye.

- Bye bye. - Have fun.

- Oh, listen, you kids go to bed early.

- You're gonna hurt your head

poppin' it in and out like that.

- Be good kids.

- Yeah, we will. - We will.

- Can I tell you kids something?

- Sure, Uncle Red.

- Me and Nan were just like you guys when we were

growing up, and the bitch of it is, we still are.

- Did you really win trip to New York

from Publisher's Clearinghouse?

- No, but the moon is full, and your parents are gone.

And I did win a subscription to Popular Mechanics.

- Oh God.

Damn it.

- You're gonna burn yourself up sometime

doing that, Uncle Red.

- I probably will.

- If that would've gone off,

that would've been the end of our silver bullet.

- This is too much.

You guys are going to bed.

- But Uncle Red, you said...

I know what I said, but it's 10 till 3:00

in the morning, and it's not coming.

- The moon's not down yet.

- Well, it's damn near down.

I'm gonna sit up the rest of the night

with a stupid gun in my lap because I promised I'd do that.

But you're going to bed, and so are you.

- What happens if I say no?

- Then I'm gonna kick your ass.

- Uncle Red, the werewolf!

I saw him, it's the werewolf!

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What did you see?

- The werewolf.

- What did you see?

- I was looking at you.

- God in heaven.

It's okay.

I'll go look, that's all.

A very familiar feeling is beginning to come over me.

- What?

- I'm beginning to feel like a horse's ass, that's what.

- He's out there, I saw him!

- I know you did, Janie.

Why don't you just go upstairs?

Now don't panic.

- He's here.

- Marty, it could be just a fuse.

Shit.

Uncle Red, watch out!

- Jane, get the gun!

- Hurry, Marty, hurry!

Leave him alone!

I got it!

Oh God.

- Holy jumped-up Jesus palomino.

Oh God.

Here, honey.

Come here, baby, I got you.

I got you, I got you.

- Don't worry, he's dead.

- Marty, are you all right?

- All except for my legs.

- What?

- I don't think I can walk.

I love you, Jane.

- I love you too.

I wasn't always able to say that, but I can say it now.

I love you too, Marty.

Good night.

♪ Here I am alone again ♪

♪ And all I ask is for a wish come true ♪

♪ I never thought it would happen ♪

♪ Till you came in and my hopes were renewed ♪

♪ Take me on a joyride ♪

♪ I almost feel as if I could fly ♪

♪ Catch me if you can 'cause I am free tonight ♪

♪ This is a beginning ♪

♪ And I can feel the wind rush by ♪

♪ Yes, you have given me the answer ♪

♪ And you have kept this dream alive ♪

♪ Take me on a joyride ♪

♪ I do believe that I can fly away ♪

♪ I'm free ♪

♪ At last ♪