Original subtitles

[♪ acoustic guitar playing]

[tab clicks]

[♪ "Yahoos and Triangles" by The Refreshments playing]

♪

[♪ theme song concludes]

- [Dale slurping] - Yep.

- [Boomhauer slurping] - Yep.

- Yup. - [phone buzzing]

[phone clicks]

Hello?

Okay, slow down. It sounds like you're drunk.

Oh, you are drunk.

Do you have a designated driver?

Oh, you are the designated driver.

Okay, just text me the address and I'll be right there.

Who was that? Peggy?

Peggy's in our house.

Why would she call me to be a designated driver?

I don't know, she's your wife.

- It was Joe Jack. - Who?

You remember. Joe Jack, from Strickland Propane.

Talkin' 'bout ol' Booda Sack, and Enrique,

and then you got 'em dang ol' Joe Jack, man, who...

[impersonating] "Hey, Honey."

[elongated] Oh!

Joe Jack.

I haven't seen or heard from him in years.

- It's weird that he called me. - Well, it's not weird to me, Hank.

You're the first one I'd call if I was drunk.

- Hank? - Yeah?

I'm drunk.

[groans] I gotta go pick up Joe Jack.

I'll drive ya, Hank! We need more beer!

[Hank Hill] No, Bill.

[♪ upbeat country music playing]

Joe Jack... fellas... what's going on?

Sorry I had to bring you here under false pretenses, Honey.

We're all drunk, Hank!

We're depressed about what's goin' on at Strickland Propane.

But how can you be depressed when you work with propane?

Both of ya better sit down, Honey.

You really are plastered, Joe Jack.

Hank, Strickland is fixing to go under.

Got dangit. How could Buck let this happen?

Well, that's why we called you.

Can you talk to Buck? You're the only person he'll listen to.

We know this is a big ask,

considerin' how everything went down when you... you know.

[♪ dramatic guitar strumming]

Fellas, it's okay.

Buck and I have had dealings since I've been back.

We just have an unspoken agreement to bury our feelings

and to never mention... that day.

[♪ mysterious music plays]

Uh, can you excuse me for a second? I need to use the restroom.

What did I tell you?

Buy him a drink first, and then mention that day.

Sorry, Honeys.

- [♪ light country music playing in bar] - [patrons chattering]

Excuse me, can I borrow a cigarette?

Borrow? You mean bum?

No, maybe. See, I'm not a smoker,

but all of a sudden, I feel like havin' a cigarette.

Careful. That's how I got started.

And ten years later, I have a porn addiction.

I don't think that has anything to do with-- never mind.

[lighter clicks]

[inhales sharply]

[exhaling loudly]

[♪ gentle guitar music playing]

[grill sizzling]

You taste the meat, but not the heat.

That's the Strickland guarantee.

Hey, everybody!

Hank just sold his 2,000th grill!

- Yeah! - Woo-hoo.

- Attaboy, Hank. - Slam dunk!

Thanks, but the Vogner Char-King Imperial sells itself.

There's no need to make a fuss.

What am I supposed to do with this?!

Yep, four of a kind beats three of a kind.

Alright, bye. Sorry!

That was my bastard son, Ray Roy.

He's gettin' ready for a business meetin'.

Sounds like you gave him good advice, sir.

You wanted to see me?

Hank, you and I go way back.

Now, I could tell the moment you measured my inseam

five times at the Jean Barn

that your attention to detail made you a perfect fit

for the propane bid-ness.

Can't thank you enough for givin' me the opportunity, sir.

It's been a wild ride.

It certainly has, ol' top.

That's why I think it's time to let someone else

take over the reins of Strickland Propane.

So, in a couple of days, I'm gonna make an announcement.

I just wanted you to know first.

Well, I'm honored, sir.

But I gotta say, it's not gonna be the same without you.

Save your butt-smoochin' for the announcement.

Yes, sir.

[softly] And thank you.

You know ol' Buck will always take care of ya.

- I know, sir. - [phone ringing]

Hello?

No, Ray Roy, those shapes on the cards is diamonds!

♪

- [♪ upbeat guitar music plays] - [Peggy gasps]

You are going to be a manager?!

That means I will be the first lady of Strickland Propane.

Well, it's not official yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Although, I may splurge and buy myself a new pair of work jeans.

Oh, Hank, I was so excited by your news,

that I almost forgot to tell you not to kill Bobby.

- Why would I kill Bobby? - [Bobby Hill] Hey, Dad.

Can I borrow the truck?

Only if you're driving directly to the barbershop

to shave your head.

Mom! Ugh!

You said you'd talk to him first!

Peggy, you're okay with this?

He is a 16-year-old. He is expressing himself.

When I was 16, we expressed ourselves by listening to our parents.

Well, say goodbye to any chance of getting a summer job.

No one's gonna wanna hire someone who looks like a pilot light.

You know who has blue hair and doesn't have a problem making money?

Jungkook from BTS!

If Joan-Cook from PBS jumped off a bridge, would you follow her?

Mom! Ugh!

That boy will never be right.

[Buck Strickland] Okay, listen up.

Propane is a young man's game.

And what with this Me Too movement in California,

I think it's the right time for me to take a step back.

- [all whispering] - We know it's Hank.

Ray Roy, get your butt out here.

Ladies and gents, this is your new Strickland Propane...

- [♪ dramatic music plays] - ...manager!

[echoing] Manager! Manager!

- Thank you, Daddy. - [employees murmuring]

Sir, I thought Ray Roy was running Strickland North across town.

Well, that went tits up!

But, it's because he didn't have someone like you, Hank,

to help him run the joint.

But you said you were gonna take care of me, sir.

I am. You gonna be Ray Roy's number two.

See, that's what you do best, Hank.

You're a natural lieutenant.

If you weren't here, hell, I wouldn't trust Ray Roy

to pour piss out of a boot if the instructions was on the heel!

But, sir, I've been here 20 years.

I only came in late once, and that was the day Bobby was born.

Exactly!

You're my ace in the hole, Hank, my linchpin.

Yeah! And now you're my linchpin, whatever that means.

With all due respect, sir,

giving the business to him is like givin' a gun to a monkey,

or-- or worse, a Ray Roy.

Hey, I'm your boss now.

The only thing this "monkey" will be firing is you,

if you don't watch your step.

- Huh? - Mm.

Well, let me save you the trouble there, because I quit.

- [Donna hollering] - [Enrique gasping]

No need to be like that, ol' top.

Yeah, just face the facts. Blood's thicker than propane.

Actually, it's not.

Propane's four-point-two pounds per gallon,

blood is half that.

- It is? - No.

Only a monkey or a Ray Roy would fall for that.

- [♪ somber guitar music playing] - [door slamming]

It's the end of an era, Honey.

[♪ gentle guitar music playing]

What's goin' on, Mom?

Your father has called a family meeting

to announce that he will be running Strickland Propane as a manager.

You did not hear it from me.

- So remember, Bobby, act surprised. - [screen door opens and closes]

Peggy, Bobby, I quit Strickland Propane.

[fake enthusiasm] Dad, that's great!

Manager? I'm so proud of you!

No, Bobby, he said he quit.

Oh. Sorry, Dad.

I was focused on my part.

Can you give it to me again, from the top?

Hank, what happened?

Buck gave my job to Ray Roy.

Ray Roy?! Didn't you once say

he used propane to fill balloons at a children's party?

Uh-huh.

But I don't blame Buck, I blame myself.

I just saw red.

I heard someone say "I quit,"

and then I realized that someone was me.

I guess I was in denial

about how much I really wanted to be manager.

Well, while you figure out what is next for Hank Hill,

your son and I will pick up the slack.

Bobby, it's time for you to be man of the house.

What? There's no need for that.

I've been outta work for less than an hour.

Mom, listen to Dad. I don't want to be a man.

First thing in the morning, you are going out to find a job.

It is time for you to nut up, Bobby Hill.

No one needs to "nut up," especially Bobby.

I have 20 years' experience in propane and propane accessories.

I'll find a job.

Just to clarify, do I still have to nut up?

[Hank slurping]

Okay, Hank, you can come work for me

as an assistant exterminator.

But fair warning, I'm a hard-nosed boss

that doesn't tolerate slackers.

It's 11:00 a.m., and you're in the alley drinking beer, Dale.

That's why I desperately need an assistant, to help me find work.

Thanks, but no thanks.

So, what are you gonna do, Hank?

Well, there's only one other propane game in town,

and I'm never gonna work for "the man who shall remain nameless."

- Thatherton! - [can crunching]

Last time I said his name, you kicked my butt.

[chuckles] But apparently, it's a one-way street

when it comes to butt-kickings.

I haven't had to apply for a job in over 20 years.

What's the best bond of paper to print a resume on?

Paper, man? [chuckling] What are you talkin' 'bout?

You gotta get on ol' LinkedIn, man.

Gotta just upload that, um, info, man, just, and boom.

Boomhauer, you set your minimum salary at $400,000 a year?

Hey, man, talkin' 'bout I'm dang ol' worth it, man.

[slurping]

[Peggy Hill] We should mention you received a "Blue Flame of Valor,"

and that you were "Propane Salesman of the Year"

for three years running.

Peggy, I don't want to come across as a braggart.

And I wouldn't wanna work for a company that would hire one.

Oh, Hank, everyone knows the truest sign of humility is bragging.

And I am the humblest.

Done. And now... we wait.

[clicking keys]

Be patient, Hank.

A job does not suddenly just walk through the door.

Guess who got a job at Whataburger?

You're lookin' at their new grill cook.

What? But how could you?

You're-- you're dressed like a Korean pop dancer.

The manager was also a K-pop fan. He has pink hair.

We watched a whole BTS concert on his laptop during my interview.

- Oh, God. - I start tonight.

Dad, can you give me a lift to my shift?

[singing] ♪ Workin' nine to five ♪

♪ Easy way to make a livin' ♪

♪ And there's somethin', somethin' ♪

- ♪ About givin' ♪ - [screen door opens and closes]

I bet he's fired before the end of his shift.

[♪ upbeat country music playing]

Nothing?

I'd even consider a job in... [shudders]

...alternative energy.

Hank, we should do a project together

while you wait for a propane offer!

Maybe even start our own business.

A business? Like what?

I have always pictured us opening a school

for magical children.

- You mean gifted? - Nope.

Mom, Dad, I got my first paycheck!

Now, I know you guys are worried about money,

so I thought I'd help out.

Wait, who said we were worried about money?

Mr. Souphanousinphone.

And then, he laughed.

Well, he's wrong. We're not worried about money.

- Yet. - Dad, no, I insist.

Feel free to use that to cover the mortgage.

And if there's anything left over, buy yourselves something nice.

Well, that is very sweet, Bobby.

But this check would not cover one night in a Super 8 motel,

or-- or even a regular 8 motel.

Yeah, maybe let it grow up some before you worry about chipping in.

Um, I'm the only one with a job in this house.

[♪ gentle guitar music playing]

[sighs]

[door bell jingling]

Well, well, well, look who came crawlin' back

lookin' for a job.

Enough small talk, Thatherton.

Are you offerin' me one or not?

Well, I could always use someone with your experience here.

But before we shake on it, you gotta give me

all the dirt on Strickland and how he runs his business.

Finally, we can take Buck down together.

Sorry, M.F., I won't do that.

Even after you quit and he gave your job to his bastard son?

Dammit. You have morals, Hank.

But I'll hire you anyway.

I could really use another number two.

What do you mean, another number two?

I'm the number one number two. Remember that!

You'd really be the number one number two.

I... I got ears! I heard that!

There can only be one number one number two.

And that's me! You're the number two number two!

Hey!

Hanging up the sign is my job!

The number one number two hangs the signs!

♪

Okay, before we kill the termites, we need to understand them.

Lesson one, the termites' reproduction cycle.

After a passionate night of fertilization--

[sighs] I quit.

Hank, you got a message on your LinkedIn profile!

You have an interview for a propane job in Houston.

See, Peggy? I told you my years of experience

- would speak for itself. - About that...

Hank, do not get mad, but I took the liberty

of making some slight adjustments to your profile.

Conversational French? Hang gliding?

And you removed "assistant." Peggy, they'll think I'm a manager.

Hank, I know you are more than qualified to be a manager.

Now, they know that too.

But the question is, do you know it?

Peggy, I'm off to Houston.

[♪ inspiring music playing]

There goes the best Dead Bug employee I ever had,

- including myself. - [termites scurrying]

- [♪ gentle music playing] - [people chattering]

[door opens]

Mr. Hill, we're ready for you now.

[with awkward accent] Merci beaucoup.

[office phones ringing]

[Hank sighs deeply]

[Ladybird panting]

- Leftover hot dogs, Ladybird. - [chomping]

Ladybird and I were so anxious, we decided to clean out the fridge.

I think I found Bobby's seventh-grade science project.

Or maybe it was just a bowl of old gravy.

Well, how did it go?

Peggy, Ladybird, they offered me a long-term job contract.

With bonuses and a retirement plan.

Oh, Hank, that is so great!

And do not worry. We will adjust to Houston!

There may be some culture shock at first--

Peggy, the job's not in Houston.

It's in... Saudi Arabia.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Please tell me that's what they're calling El Paso now.

[marker squeaking]

Okay, let's review the pros and the cons of Saud-i Arabia.

First con, it is in Saud-i Arabia.

Yes, but pro, I get to spread

the gospel of propane to the Middle East.

However, it means leaving Texas, the only home we've ever known.

But pro, I can teach English and Español to Saud-i Arabians.

But con, women can't drive

outside the Aramco base in Saudi Arabia.

Although, half the traffic.

Pro, ever since I saw Lawrence of Arabia as a little girl,

I always wanted to ride a camel.

Hank, so far, the cons do not outweigh the pros.

Con, [sighs] I'd still only be an assistant manager.

And another con, we'd be leaving our friends behind.

But pro, one of them is Kahn.

But con-- and this is the biggest con of them all-- what about Bobby?

- [♪ pensive guitar music plays] - Oh, yeah. Bobby.

He would be leaving behind Connie, and Joseph, and all his other friends.

- Bobby has other friends? - No, he does not.

I was just being generous.

Peggy, I hate to say it, but we need to have an adult conversation

with a boy who still watches cartoons about a sponge.

♪

- [♪ energetic music playing] - [burgers sizzling]

[bottles spurting]

Two doubles and a Junior with no cheese, up and ready to go.

This must be Jacob's order. 'Sup, Jacob?

- Can I get some-- - [Bobby] Honey mustard?

You got it. Puttin' two extra in your takeout bag,

because I know you're a big dipper.

Whoa!

I've never seen Bobby "in the zone" before,

except when he's napping.

Don't worry about the food. It's on me.

I get a 50% discount.

So, what'd you wanna talk about?

Must be important, it's the second family meeting in a month.

- Wait! Is Mom pregnant? - What? No!

I, uh, I got a job offer in Saudi Arabia.

Saudi Arabia? Where Lawrence is from?

- Uh-huh. - Well, that's great, Dad.

So... wait, does that mean you'll be leaving us?

No, Bobby.

We would all have to move to Saudi Arabia, as a family.

Oh, I don't want to do that.

I understand, son.

I'll call Aramco and tell 'em I'm not takin' the job.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You guys should go, but I can't leave now.

I have just figured out what I want to do with my life.

I wanna work in the restaurant business!

- [♪ inspiring music playing] - I love food, I love people,

and I love people eating my food.

I finally found my propane, Dad.

And propane accessories!

Bobby, we cannot let you stay here, alone.

You would die.

Plus, you need to finish high school.

Mom, I promise I'll finish school and that I won't die.

I can live with Luanne, Lucky, and Gracie.

You are their favorite babysitter.

And I promise, we'll Skype every day.

I can visit you!

Mom, Dad, I can do this.

[alarm ringing]

I gotta get back to work. We'll talk about this more at home.

Relax, enjoy your meal,

and I'll go get you some hot apple pies to go.

Am I feeling... pride?

I guess our boy has finally nutted up, Hank.

I guess so.

Oh, no. You know who won't take this well?

[knocking]

Hank, Peggy!

[laughing] Come in.

What an unexpected surprise.

[Bill screaming] No!

[Bill sobbing]

[♪ gentle guitar music playing]

Okay, fellas. [sighs] I'll talk to Buck for ya.

Knew we could count on you, Honey.

Have a seat, ol' top. Can I get you somethin' to drink?

This isn't a social call, sir.

What I have to say is best said while standing.

I'm here on behalf of Joe Jack, Booda Sack--

Say no more, let me guess.

They're tellin' you the company is goin' "bankrupt,"

and it's all because of "my bastard son," Ray Roy.

Well, guess what, Hank? They're right!

Got dangit, Buck. How could you let it get this bad?

You can't treat your staff like this. That's why I quit.

They're the victims here, not to mention propane.

That gas has been nothing but good to you, sir.

I know!

But I can't fire him, Hank. I've tried!

Ray Roy's my kryptonite, and he's my only family.

Well, that's where you're wrong, Buck.

I worked for Aramco, the largest oil producer in the world.

But Strickland Propane had something Aramco didn't have,

family.

Ray Roy isn't your legacy,

the whole Strickland Propane team is.

You've gotta nut up and fire Ray Roy, Buck.

You're right, ol' top.

Can you do it for me?

I don't work for you now, sir.

- And I never will again. - Please, Hank, please!

Save our family, huh? Be the daddy!

I-- I know I did ya wrong, but come back!

You be the daddy!

Please, be the daddy! [whimpering]

Have some respect, and stop kissing my shoes.

[Peggy gasps] You said no? To Buck?

Uh-huh.

Buck Strickland?

Well, good.

I know that that was hard for you to do, Hank,

seeing how you love propane

- almost as much as you love me. - Yep.

Well, what the heck did Buck expect?

He should have promoted you back when he had the chance.

Well, the way I look at it, Peggy, we never would've gone

to Saudi Arabia and secured our nest egg,

Bobby wouldn't have found his passion,

and-- and you wouldn't have had a chance to ride two camels.

And I met a prince, who I am pretty sure fell in love with me.

Mm-hmm.

[♪ gentle music playing]

We better step on it.

Bobby said he'd only hold our reservation for 15 minutes.

You'd think he would give us more time, seeing that I gave birth to him.

[Hank sighs]

Hank, you sure you wanna turn down here?

We always go the long way, ever since--

It's okay, Peggy. That chapter's finally closed.

I'm just Hank Hill, citizen,

driving past a local propane business.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Sickland?!

What twisted bastard thought that'd be funny?

Well, maybe it's supposed to be a good thing.

- I hear "sick" means cool. - [tires screeching]

That storage unit needs to be locked up!

That's a blatant code violation!

It's like a gotdang horror movie.

- You're going inside, aren't you? - Yeah, [sighs] you're right, Peggy.

[sighs] I should.

- [door creaking] - [liquid dripping]

Bwah! Is that urine?

In the showroom?

[♪ tense music playing]

[loud snoring]

Is he dead?

I didn't know she was your wife!

[booze bottle sloshing]

- Peggy. - I understand.

- [birds squawking] - [camera clicking]

[♪ "Mainstreet" by Bob Seger playing]

Shouldn't it say "owner," Hank?

You bought 51% of the company.

Yes, but that would be bragging.

It ain't trickin' if you got it.

[♪ "Mainstreet" continues playing]

♪ Down on Mainstreet ♪

Welcome back, Honey.

[phone ringing]

Hank Hill, assistant-- uh, Hank Hill,

manager and owner of Strickland Propane.

How can I help ya?

Bill? How drunk are you?

[♪ bluegrass version of "Yahoos and Triangles" playing]

- ♪ Yee-haw! ♪ - ♪ Wa-hoo! ♪

[♪ song ends]

[birds chirping]

- [golf club thumps] - [crowd cheering]

♪

[Peggy Hill] It is time for you to nut up, Bobby Hill!

[♪ fanfare playing]