Original subtitles

And now, here they are.

The most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever whirl their wheels in

the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer. The cars are approaching

the starting line. First is the turbo terrific driven by Peter Perfect.

Next, Rufus Roughcutt in Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is the Ant Hill Mob in their Bulletproof Bombs.

And there's Ingenious Inventor, Pat Penney, in his Converter Car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop, the Glamour Gal of the Gas

Pedal. Next, we have the Bowler Mobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coop with the Gruesome Twosome. And right on their

tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those double-dealing do-batters,

Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Muttley. And even now they're up to some

dirty trick, and they're off to a standing start. And why not? They've

been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dastardly, who shifts into the wrong

gear. And away they go on the way out wacky races.

Mileposts flash by like tickets on a fence as the wacky racers hurtle toward

their destination.

And it's a... Fast Track to Hackensack!

But here comes that drag in the drag strips.

Dick Dastardly.

That ought to slow things down considerably.

Okay, okay, so you're a good judge of character.

Big deal.

Let's start slowing the others down, eh, Muttley?

Well, what are you waiting for?

The curtain should go up on the second act.

Cheater.

And he's no gentleman either. Let's go, boys.

And so, while Nick Dastardly takes advantage of his ill-gotten lead, a

heated battle is going on for second place between car number one, the Swag

Brothers, and Penelope Pitstop in car number five.

Penelope pours on the power and gets in front of the boulder-mobile.

Oh, dear!

My umbrella!

Hey! Who put out the light?

What the... What's the big idea of dropping in without an appointment?

And what are you guys going to shave?

Professor Pat Pending in the converter car is having difficulties trying to

pass the creepy coon. Come on, fellas, move over.

I'll just have to lift myself over there.

He's converted the converter car into a derrick and lifts himself off the road.

Hey, look. He blew our house.

Well, two can play in that game.

The creepy poop shifts into dragon power.

Hi. Come back.

You forgot something.

Oh, for sure.

I just had it washed and polished.

Meanwhile, Dick Dasherly and Double Zero continues to lead the pack.

What's this?

Law and order city limits.

Speed limit, 35 miles per hour.

Come on, Muckley. We're going to play a dirty trick.

We'll change the 3 to an 8.

Making it 85 miles per hour. And watch the wacky racers fall into our trap.

Speed limit, 85 miles

an hour.

Quit dragging your feet meekly. Charge!

Nice peaceful little town you've got here.

And we aims to keep it that way. So just watch your step, stranger.

Don't worry, Sheriff.

I'm an honest, law-abiding citizen.

It's that unruly mob that's heading this way you've got to be on the lookout for.

So long, Sheriff.

What was that?

A tornado?

Tornado nothing?

That's a bunch of them shitty slickers.

Maybe a day or two in the town pokey will slow them down a mite.

Uh-oh, somebody's gonna get it. Here comes the lock, and boy, is he mad.

You're glad we're as pure as the driven snow.

Pull over, you speed demons, or I'll run you off the road.

Airport officer.

Let me handle this, boss.

I'll have him giving us the key to the city before I'm through.

Here, sheriff, have a cigar.

Now, what's the charge?

Well, the charge was speeding.

But when you tried to bribe me with a cigar, you really tore it. Now get in

your car and follow me to the town jail.

Well, Dick Dastardly still holds the lead, but Rufus Ruff's cut and the

Arkansas Chuggabugger are coming up fast.

Ruff, another one of your stupid ideas that didn't work, Mudley.

Huh? I love you.

Yes, your idea.

Meanwhile,

back in the town of Wall and Order, the Ant Hill Bob are enjoying the

hospitality of the sheriff.

Now look at the mess you've got us into, Ding-a-ling.

You know, a thing like this can give a guy a bad image.

Don't worry, boss.

I'll have us out of this cracker box before you can say habeas corpuscle.

Watch it, you guys.

You're wrinkling my lapels.

Won't be long now, boss. And we'll be as free as a kite with a busted string.

Leaving so soon?

Lucky for me, you was here, or I might have hurt myself.

Back at the race, Dick Dastardly is still in the lead and still trying to

shake loose from the bus wagon and the Arkansas chugabout.

I'll get rid of them with Operation Little Red Wagon.

can catch us now, Muddy.

It's a clear trap to hack and sack.

It's moments like this that make me wonder if cheating really pays.

Back at the jailhouse, Ding-a-ling has another brilliant idea.

I'll just blow a hole in the wall with this dynamite and we'll scram out of

here. This better work, Ding-a-ling.

think you're doing to my tail.

Sorry, Sheriff.

We was just trying to get back into the wacky race.

Did you say wacky race?

Yeah, and we'd probably be winning if it wasn't for ding-a-ling and his bright

ideas. Well, why didn't you say so?

The wacky races are my favorite sport.

Come on, fellas. You're holding up the race.

See, boss, I told you I'd get us out of this mess.

With about ten miles to go to the finish line, the Slack Brothers are now in the

lead, with a creepy poop running in close second. But here comes old bad

news again.

Watch this, Bucky.

I'm going to get two birds with one stone.

I wonder what's troubling them.

So long, suckers!

Huh? Hey, check, Doug.

And with only a few miles to go, it looks as if Big Bastardly is going to

win this race.

Yes. I was almost beginning to think that crime doesn't pay.

Wait a minute. What's this?

It's the Aunt Hilma passing everybody.

And with a police escort, yes.

Curtis, we've got to get rid of them.

Scare them off, Mutley.

the finish line.

Number seven, the Angel Bob, comes in first.

Number one, the Sly Brothers are second. And number two, the Creepy Koop is

third. Oh, what a race this has been.

Drat. Double drat. And triple drat.

Hope you like our little town of Law and Order, cause you're gonna be there for

quite a spell.

Law and Order?

Yuck, I hate it already.