Original subtitles

And now, here they are. The most daredevil group of dappy drivers to ever

whirl their wheels in the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer. The cars are approaching

the starting line.

First is the turbo terrific driven by Peter Perfect.

Next, Rufus Roughcut and Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon.

Maneuvering for position is the Army Surplus Special.

Right behind is the Ant Hill Mob in their bulletproof bombs.

And there's Ingenious Inventor, hat pending in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop, the glamour gal of the gas

pedal. Next we have the Bowler Mobile with the Slag Brothers, Rock and Gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coop with the Gruesome Twosome. And right on their

tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chugabug with Lute and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those double-dealing dewbatters,

Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Muttley.

And even now, they're up to some dirty trick, and they're off to a standing

start. And why not? They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dastardly, who

shifts into the wrong gear. And away they go on the way out wacky races.

The cars are strung out in the first lap of today's wacky race.

And look who's in the lead, Dick Dastardly.

You were expecting maybe Shirley Temple?

The finish line is in far-off Ballpoint, Pennsylvania.

What's this?

Dick Dastardly's stopping.

Why are you stopping here, Dick?

Just keep glue to your seat and watch.

I'm going to force those wacky racers off the road with my old train-in-the

-road trick.

And this rear projection set up.

A train!

Oh, my goodness!

It's a train!

I can't lose!

Those clowns will wait all day for that train to pass!

in more ways than one.

Rufus rough-tied in the bus wagon has the lead, and, oh, that's a sharp curve

ahead.

He made it.

Uh-oh.

There's a tree blocking the road. This axe tied to the propeller. It should do

the trick.

Max has cut his way through.

And here come the Slag Brothers, moving up fast.

What are you slags up to?

Oh, I see. You've made a slingshot.

That's right.

and take the lead away from Rufus Roughcott. Wow, with that burst of

speed, no one will catch him now.

Wait a minute.

Nick Bastardly is finding another of his no-good-nick tricks.

When I pull this rope, the springs will snap the bridge shut like so.

If the bridge doesn't flatten them, they'll go off the cliff.

Here come the Slack Brothers.

Ooh, I can hardly wait.

Drat! The pin won't pull out!

Curses! They got a cross!

What's holding it back?

Drat!

goes on with a creepy goon coming up from the rear.

Close behind, following the ghoulish duo, is Penelope Pitstop driving her

compact pussy.

And he'll mop number seven. Switching to machine gun power.

And moving up to take second spot away from Professor Pentendix.

My bubble bath machine will stop that and he'll mop.

Let's get back in that race.

The dastardly back in the race is determined to win it, by hook or crook.

These tacks should do the trick.

I hope this gag doesn't fall flat.

Five sticks. I got a flat tire.

Now I got a flat car.

Peter, I declare I wish you wouldn't just sit there blocking the road.

Sorry about that, Penny.

I'll have to shake some life into my car.

My, that was clever of y'all, Peter.

I know.

Thank you, Penny. Now on to certain victory.

And another flat tire.

But here comes the instant repair kit.

The Arkansas Chuggabug is also headed straight for those tacks.

Uh-oh, Blubber. Looks like we got a flat tire.

Better see if you can fix her up.

Pump her up good, blubber.

Anyways, I'm heading in the right direction.

There they go into the final lap.

The Slack Brothers are holding the lead, but coming...

Professor Pat Penning in his converter car, and Rubus Rupp cut in his bus

wagon, while up ahead Dick is planning another of his dastardly deeds.

Here they come, Muttley.

Plant the dynamite.

No!

What happened?

The dynamite didn't go off.

Now what went wrong?

Rat!

Nancy, come into the final miles of this race. Dick Dastardly is driving like a

demon trying to overtake the leaders.

Mudley, it looks like I'll have to switch on to police power to stop them.

Lucky I have my honorary downtown Burbank's sheriff's badge.

Did you hear that, Sarge?

Yeah, Miggly.

It looks like a court-martial for us.

It's the Raveneers, Blubber!

I do hope the traffic judge is friendly.

Don't you worry none, pretty penny.

My uncle's a notary public.

I'm not a rate.

I'm a flyer with friends in high places.

Remember our alibis, you smugs.

We was at the movies when the bank was robbed.

I'll invent a good excuse, like we're in a race. By George, we are in a race.

Here comes the fuzz.

See you all at the finish line.

Here they come, racing for the finish line in

Ball Point, Pennsylvania.

And the winner is Penelope Pitstop at car number five.

Red Max in car number four is second.

And the intro mom in car number seven comes in third. Oh, what a finish!

And as for Dick Dastardly... You'll get 30 days for littering the highway, 10

days for obstructing traffic.

Drat! Double drat!

And 20 days for arguing with an officer.