Original subtitles

And now, here they are. The most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever

whirl their wheels in the wacky races.

Competing for the title of the world's wackiest racer. The cars are approaching

the starting line.

First is the turbo-terrific driven by Peter Purpin.

Next, Rupert Ruffcutt in Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon.

Maneuvering for possession is the Army Surplus Special. Right behind is the Ant

Hill Mob in their bulletproof bombs.

And there's Ingenious Inventor.

Pat's pending in his converter car. Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Kidstop,

the glamour gal of the gas pedals.

Next, we have the Bowler Mobile with the Sly Brothers, Rock and Gravel. Lurching

along is the Creepy Coop with the Gruesome Susum. And right on their tail

is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Lute and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that Mean Machine with those double-dealing Jew Batters.

Dick Dastardly and his sidekick, Buckley. And even now, they're up to

some dirty trick, and they're off to a standing start. And why not?

They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dastardly, who shifts into the

wrong gear. And away they go on the Way Out Wacky Races.

Today, the Wacky Racers are zooming up the first lap of a real wacky race.

From Elbow Grease, Ohio to Ripsaw, Arkansas.

Out in front is Peter Perfect. It's a long, long lead.

But here comes the Arkansas Chugabug. Where?

Where?

Hold on, Blubber. We're going to let her rip.

Ah,

shit!

Oh, shucks.

And the race continues.

Professor Pat Pending in the converter car makes a bid for the lead.

And he makes it. The professor has just taken first place away from Dick

Dastardly. Oh, what a clever move.

You think so, eh?

But not as clever as the move I'm about to make.

Now, what are you going to do, dastardly?

Cheat. What else?

Yeah, watch.

Now I'm back in first place.

Cheaters always win.

Oh, sometimes, that is.

The pack, maneuvering for position, picks up the pace.

And Penelope Pitstop, seeing it opening, puts on a burst of speed, followed

closely by the buzz wagon.

My gosh!

Looks like Miss Penelope is in trouble.

Oh, dear!

Whatever shall I do?

What seems to be the problem, Miss Penelope?

Stuck in the mud.

Allow me to assist you.

Well, how terribly sweet of you.

Are you sure it isn't too much trouble?

Well, for a lumberjack, it's nothing.

Observe.

Thank you ever so ever, Mr.

Lumberjack, sir.

As we pick up the racers on the scanner scope, they're still bunched together,

heading for the high country.

The Slack brothers are now leading.

Followed by Red Max and the Crimson Hay Bailer. And in third place, the Creepy

Coop. The rest of the Wacky Racers keep a steady pace. Each driver looking for

an opening. And bringing up the rear is the Aunt Hilma.

All right, you guys.

Let's make with the getaway power.

Oh, gee, boss.

Why don't we stay in last place? That way we know we ain't being followed.

You heard me, Ring-a-ding. Get going.

Yeah, sure, boss. Sure.

And now it's the Ant Hill mob in the lead.

The Slag Brothers are second.

Red Max and the Creepy Cooper are fighting for third place.

I wonder what's happened to Dastardly.

Hurry, Bucky!

Hurry!

Oh, I should have known.

Looks like Dirty Dick Dastardly's up to no good.

What's that?

I said you're up to no good.

Oh, on the contrary.

This scheme is very good.

But they will chop down this bridge and the race ends for the rest while I go on

to the finish line.

What did you say?

That's better.

Here they come! Let's get out of here, Muttley, and watch the fun!

Curses! They got across!

What went wrong?

It's Rufus Rupp cut out in front.

My God!

The bridge! It's gone!

Quick! We'll build another one.

Nice work, my little friend.

Let's go.

Leaders are bunched together, and now the Creepy Coop shifts into dragon

power.

Red Max takes to the air.

I will take to the air!

Max passes the Slack Brothers, the Ant Bill Mob, and is about to pass the

Creepy Coop.

Pardon me?

Leader Perfect is a turbo-tribute. Makes his bid to take the lead and pours it

on.

Heavens! How embarrassing.

Now it's pretty Penelope Pitstop who challenges the leaders.

I do declare nothing is going to stop me from winning this little old race.

You hear?

Oh, yeah?

I'll bet my do-it-yourself instant beauty shop.

will change your mind.

Well, how nice! A

beauty shop!

Now, ain't I the little old lucky one?

I'll just take a little old minute and get my little old hair shampooed.

We're going to win this race yet, Muttley.

And it looks like Team Bastardly might make it as he zooms into the lead.

Out of my way, slowpokes.

But the surplus special doesn't give up that easily.

They use firepower.

Yeah!

Blast their firepower!

I've got to stop them!

Fire!

Hey, boys, look!

The sign says, column right!

Don't waste time!

Column right!

They fell for it, Mutley!

days in the guardhouse.

And as the cars approach the finish line at Ripsaw, Arkansas, it's, uh... I

can't tell who the winner is.

Hold everything for the instant slow motion replay.

The winner is... Number 10, the Buzzwagon!

I wonder what's happened to Dirty Dick Dastardly.

I should have won that race, Muttley. Instead, all I've got is a clean car.