Original subtitles

And now, here they are, the most daredevil group of daffy drivers to ever

whirl their wheels in the wacky races, competing for the title of the world's

wackiest racer. The cars are approaching the starting line. First is the turbo

terrific driven by Peter Purpin.

Next, Rufus Roughcutt and Sawtooth in the buzz wagon.

Maneuvering for position is the army surplus special. Right behind is the

anthill mob in their bulletproof bombs.

And there's Ingenious Inventor, hat pending in his converter car.

Oh, and here's the lovely Penelope Pitstop, the glamour gal of the gas

pedal. Next, we have the Bowler Mobile with the Slag Brothers, rock and gravel.

Lurching along is the Creepy Coop with a gruesome twosome. And right on their

tail is the Red Max.

And there's the Arkansas Chuggabug with Luke and Blubber Bear.

Sneaking along last is that mean machine with those double-dealing do-batters,

Dick Dastardly and his sidekick.

And even now they're up to some dirty trick, and they're off to a standing

start. And why not? They've been chained to a post by shifty Dick Dastardly, who

shifts into the wrong gear.

And away they go on the way out wacky races.

Today's contest finds the wacky racers waiting to wing their way to Wheeling,

West Virginia.

West Virginia.

And there they go.

Taking an early lead is that beau brummel of the brick band burners, Peter

Perfect. In number nine, the turbo terrific. The ultimate in engineering

precision.

Steaming up a storm in second place is the Arkansas Chuggabug, and in third

place is, uh, uh, is... In third place is, uh...

Oh, yes, Rufus Roughcutt and his partner Sawtooth in the Buzzwagon. While

sneaking up in fourth is that disciple of deceit and degradation, Dick

Dastardly. You left out Despicable!

Now I'm going to derail those wacky racers directly ahead!

That, my dear Muttly, is the hottest car in the race!

Better trade that bear in for a mule, you ridge runner!

Ah, hush your cotton-picking mouth, you lowlander!

Huh?

We've sassafras. We lost our boiler. We're stranded like a catfish on a mud

bug.

Well, that's a right fine idea, Blubber.

And so, converting to windmill power, the Arkansas Chuggabug blows back into

the running.

Now, I will eliminate Peter Perfect, and first place will be mine.

Lucky for him, I wasn't in a crosswalk.

Nothing can stop us now, Muddy. We're a cinch to win this one.

One more exhibition like that, and you'll walk the rest of the way.

Yow!

Now see what you've done with your backseat driving?

Get out there and get us down!

Do something.

Pull a lever.

One more snicker out of you and I'll lease you out as winter headquarters for

a flea circus.

Aha.

What have we here?

Caution. Road under construction.

Look at all that heavy equipment.

And I know just what to do with it.

And now our racers are starting up the steep slope for Summer Squash Summit.

Looks like Professor Pat Tending's converter car is starting to convert.

Well, what do you know? He's changed to scrambler power.

Uh-oh. Looks like too much hill for the Ant Hill Mob.

All right, you guys. Everybody out and push.

Oh, gee, boss.

Do we got her?

Maybe you'd rather I should tell Bonnie on you?

What? Follow that car.

Nobody pushes Clyde around.

Oh, yeah?

Take a ride, Clyde.

Every mark for himself.

All right, you creeps. Where's my boys?

Here we are, boss.

Up here in the batty belfry.

Wow, talk about your weirdos.

Well,

back to the plotting board, Mudley. I feel another plot coming on.

Curses, it's stalled.

Okay, Mudley, when I say now...

Pull on the throttle.

Now!

No!

Not that one, stupid!

That one!

No, not that one!

Do something!

Put on the brakes!

They're trying to pass the army surplus special.

Yourself.

Hey,

what's going on here?

Get ready now, Muttley. We'll flatten them flatter than a chewing gum wrapper.

Here comes one.

Penelope's having a little engine trouble.

Oh, dear. Now, what could the matter be?

Hmm. Wonder if it could be this little old thingamajig here.

No, that's not it.

Bet it's this little old doofloppy here.

No.

This little old thing here.

Maybe this.

No.

Maybe that.

No.

That little bobby pin.

There. That fixed it.

And so, with a little female ingenuity, Penelope is back in the race with time

and parts to spare.

Meanwhile, Peter Perfect speeds his turbo terrific into a tunnel, unaware

that Dick Dastardly is waiting at the other end with baited hook.

We're going fishing, my babe.

And we're going to catch us a turbo terrific.

With less than five miles to go to

Wheeling, the Wacky Racers sprint for the finish line.

We'll never win at this rate, you guys, unless we cheat. Right, boss?

Wrong. Unless we lighten the load, dum-dum.

Who says it pays to win?

There goes our ill-gotten gains.

The racers continue to roar back and forth in their nip-and-tuck battle for

the lead. It looks like anybody's race at this point. As they come down to the

finish line, the anthill mob is coming on as if the law was after them. And

it's the anthill mob finishing first with Peter Perfect second and Penelope

Pitstop a close third.

Somewhere near Albuquerque, there's a fast freight lumbering west with a loose

caboose.

Hey, stop the train!

Let me out of here!

Stop the train!

The wacky race goes on and on. Each driver determined to win, maneuvering

for position, looking for the opening that will put him in the lead.

The anthill mob uses getaway power.

Red Max and the Crimson Hay Bailer makes his move.

The Arkansas Chugabug uses jet power.

And the Creepy Coop pours it on with dragon power.

Oh, it's going to be a great race, folks. Hey, wait a minute.

Stop!

This race starts next week.

Next week?

That means I'll get a good start on the other.

Drat! Drat! And double drat!