Original subtitles

And I thought Jessica and I were just friends

since I'm a ghost and she's a tentacle monster,

but last night, she asked me out.

Well, she didn't ask. She wiggled a tentacle.

- Kathy? - The gazebo's on fire.

Ben is trying to run into it.

Agh!

Ben, stop running into fire!

He has all my clothes in there!

- Who? - Who do you think?

Boy, gazebos burn fast, huh? What happened?

I'll tell you what I'd tell the cops. That gazebo was on fire when I got here.

- Shayna, get the hose! - I'm on a break!

- Esther, get the hose! - Why can't Ben get the hose?

I can still save a pair of shorts! I see it!

Someone's in here.

Abaddon, what is this?

Ritual sacrifice.

- Of yourself? - You've gotta start somewhere.

He dressed mannequins in all my clothes and set them on fire!

Ugh, those were your clothes?

They were in my closet! What am I supposed to wear now?

- You only wear the one hoodie. - I liked having options!

Once Shayna's on the clock, we're all on gazebo cleaning duty.

- I might take a sick day. - I gotta go hoodie shopping.

I gotta talk to Jessica before it gets weird.

- Esther? - Sounds fun. We should do that for sure.

Why are you getting quieter? I can still see you.

Oh, really? Weird. Oh, well, bye, Mom.

That's still smoldering. Put it down.

Oh, close one!

What are you hiding?

Why would I be hiding something?

Why are you answering my question with a question?

Why ask so many questions?

I pretended to be a ghost for years.

I know when someone isn't touching anything.

I haven't seen you eat in three days.

So now it's a crime to not eat in front of Shayna?

What's next? You gonna chew my gum for me?

Put a leash on me like some weird kid at the grocery store?

That could've killed me!

I don't think so. I saw you walk through a wall.

- Are you dead? - No!

I'm just an astral projection.

- I don't know what that is. - It's no big deal.

I did a spell to leave my body so I could travel in spirit form.

When I got back to my body, it was gone.

Since I knew everyone would flip out or throw a knife through me,

I've been trying to find it myself.

And you cannot tell my mom.

How long have you been like this?

Only six days.

- You need to talk to your mom. - Maybe you need to talk to your mom.

I would if I knew where she was.

I'm keeping this knife.

Oh, right.

I just thought we were watching movies all night as friends.

Jessica, come on!

Get out of my room!

I was lurking in this room for a century before you were even born.

You don't know what a century is. You can't even tell time.

Whoa, fellas. What's with all the fighting and smiting?

Abaddon ate my aquarium.

Like, he ate the fish?

No, no, not just the fish.

The moss, the gravel, even the tiny pirate chest.

Maybe next time don't raise such an enticing fish.

Gloria.

Her name was Gloria!

I'm nailing this vent shut!

Ben, you need to be patient with Abaddon. He's a demon from hell.

He's not used to our human ways or ground that's not on fire.

He's been stuck here for years,

and he still thinks it's okay to eat my pet and burn all my clothes.

What can you do? He's family.

But he's not.

And now, we're not even friends!

Hm.

Perhaps some feuds can't be resolved on land.

Hey, do you know why Jessica's trashing the basement?

Nope.

Aw, man. Queen Slither died?

Esther! I found your body!

Where was...

that vacuum I was gonna use to clean the hotel without being asked?

Oh, hey, Mom.

- Yeah, I told her. - Told her what? I love her too much?

Guilty. Speaking of guilty, I did some digging,

and Shayna has warrants out in three states, so...

Stop doing that!

So it's true. You lost your body.

I didn't lose it. It just got moved while I wasn't in it.

That is way worse!

Not as bad as being a rat.

I don't report to you.

- Yeah, because you're fired. - Enough.

We're finding your body, putting you back in it,

and then grounding that body for a year.

We? No way.

If I let you help, you'll remember this as a time I screwed up.

The screw-up happened. You're stranded outside of your body.

My body, my choice.

That's not what that means.

Well, it doesn't matter because you literally can't stop me.

Two of the warrants are actually for the same--

One problem at a time, Shayna.

Hm?

Can't believe we've never gone out on the lake before.

What was stopping us?

For me, all the no swimming signs covered in bite marks.

Ben, I've walked this entire lake bed.

There's nothing here but fish, couple of mermaids, a shy swamp thing,

and two ghost sharks. Relax.

I do need a break from the hotel

because of my constant you-know-whats with you-know-who.

- Hey, how'd you pack the cooler? - I didn't have to. It packed itself.

Someone's in here.

What is he doing here?

Surprise!

I brought Abaddon to catch a new fish to replace the one he ate.

You can't just replace a fish with Gloria's joie de vivre.

Besides, does Abaddon even know how to fish?

Very unlikely, which is why you're gonna help him.

- But I don't know how to fish. - Which is why I'm gonna help you.

Abaddon?

Hm?

- You said we were getting ice cream. - That was a lie, which I know you love.

Let's fish.

Do you think her body might be in her diary?

I'm looking for clues.

"I'm so lucky to have a mother who respects my privacy."

Yeah, this is another decoy.

Like I'd write down my secrets. What are you doing in my room?

Trying to help. Why do you have a shoebox full of fake mustaches?

Who says they're fake?

- Hang on. There's something under here. - It's not my body, so stay out!

To quote a certain reckless daughter, you can't stop me.

- There's nothing down there. - So, why are you blocking me?

- Found a book on astral projection. - You stomped on my face!

- You can't even feel it. - It's got a chapter on how to do it.

This is an invasion of privacy.

Privacy is a privilege that you lost when you lost your body.

- See? No body. - So many knives.

They cut different things.

Um, you might wanna read this.

I already read that book. It's why I'm an astral projection.

Did you read the part at the end

that says if you astral project for more than seven days, you dissolve?

Pssh. Yeah?

You didn't read the whole book before trying to astral project.

Maybe I would have if I didn't spend so much time

hiding things from you so you don't flip out!

Don't walk away from me, young lady. I'll knock down every wall in this house.

I don't like to get in the way of family drama,

but you won't get anywhere by yelling.

I learned that when my dad had me committed to keep me from testifying.

You're right. I'm just driving her away.

If I don't want her to dissolve, I have to pretend I'm cool with this.

Thank you.

Can I have a raise?

Yes, and the raise is all of Esther's knives.

Mm.

Esther?

Esther!

Don't sneak up on someone when their head is in a wall.

Sorry.

So I decided you're right.

- About what? - Everything you think you're right about.

This was an honest mistake. I've made millions.

I took the wrong baby home from the hospital and had to go back for Ben.

What?

My point is, if you wanna find your body on your own, that's cool with me.

But, you know, if you need extra eyes, I've got two that don't need glasses.

I was gonna check the basement.

There's a chance the snatcher dragged me down there and is cooking me.

Uh, dang, I hope not. Yeah, yeah. Let's check out that basement.

- Why are you walking so fast? - I'm not even.

Guys, B-F-A-N-A-L.

Big Fish Alert, Not A Leaf.

- I repeat, not a leaf this time. - I already got something big on the line.

- Ooh, I don't think you wanna-- - Reeling it in!

You need another hook.

You ate them all.

Not all. Looks like he turned a few into earrings.

- I'm rowing home. - But we still need a new fish.

I don't care about a new fish.

I care that I live with a demon who has no respect for me

or anything I own and destroys everything he touches.

I wouldn't say everything.

He's punching a hole in the boat right now. Cut it out.

I stopped the apocalypse for you.

You always say that, and I don't know what it means.

Let's try something different. Abaddon, please grab both oars.

Great. Now throw them as far from the boat as you can.

Wait, what?

Why?

Congratulations, you're stranded.

The only way you'll get back to shore is if you work together.

Maybe you could hold onto Abaddon's legs while he blows bubbles in the water

and spins his arms like propellers.

Ooh, maybe Abaddon holds your legs while you blow bubbles.

Yeah, I'm just gonna get the oars back.

Abaddon, stop punching the boat.

I didn't. But also, you're not the boss of me.

I see bones in here, but they're not mine.

That's what I told you.

But there's bones in the furnace?

Shayna, Shayna, relax. It's not a big deal.

Okay, so you weren't incinerated. Great. Let's be smart about this.

Where'd you see your body last?

- I already checked. It's not there. - Maybe you missed something.

So, you think I'd miss clues? Wow.

We have to start somewhere.

Yeah, what's the problem exactly?

You have a secret workshop? You already have a cave workshop.

Which wasn't a secret anymore.

And now neither is this. Shayna, hit the emergency stop

now.

Mom, that railing comes loose. You can use it to pry open the doors.

Okay, we checked. I'm not here. Maybe I'm in a ditch by the road.

Ha. Wouldn't that be fun?

But to be safe, let's just do a quick loop through this... this super neat space.

Fine, but don't touch anything.

Don't look at anything for more than five seconds.

If something looks good, it's bad. If something looks bad, it's terrible.

Please, help me dance again.

No one's buying it, Barnaby.

Mom, everything good?

Oh, yeah, everything is fantastic.

I love how organized this all is.

I mean, look, there's your baby blanket draped over something pulsing.

- You know your eye is twitching, right? - Nope. Let's find a body, huh.

Can you believe her?

"I love my daughter's secret workshop." No one's buying it, lady.

I forgot I had this.

And what is this cool guy exactly?

Exactly what we need. It's a hell sprite.

It imprinted on me in the mine last year.

If it gets out, it'll track my scent to my body from anywhere in the world

and try to rip my heart out.

And you forgot you had this?

It's in a jar, Shayna.

Wait. Are you thinking we release this thing that wants to find and kill you

so we can follow it?

Uh, because that's what I'm thinking too.

Uh, there's something big and fast down there.

Eh, it's probably just a mermaid.

Mm. We've encroached on their misted domain.

You have us. Now make it quick.

- Make what quick? - Tearing us apart.

Don't worry. Katherine will tape us back together like always.

Like always? You said the mermaids were nice.

They've always been nice to me.

Of course, I only met them after I was a ghost.

The first time I met them, they tried to eat me.

But I thought that was a goof.

It's so hard to tell what's a goof when you're a ghost.

Like my thing with Jessica. Do you think I was leading her on?

Abaddon, we're gonna use your arms as propellers.

Abaddon?

- I've actually got plans on land, so... - Seriously?

Abaddon?

The coast is clear.

Hang on, bud, I'm coming!

Ghosts can't swim. Sorry, I forgot!

So it's mermaids.

Didn't I have two of these?

Just go around the wall!

How's it going, Mom?

Really great. Just like a dog.

What?

You don't know what you have, do you?

Yes, I do. What do I have?

Look, all I'm gonna say is, one time,

I was in the trunk of a car, tied up, crossing state lines.

- Do you know where my mom was? - Casino?

Driving the car.

Sometimes, I wish I had someone who cared about where I was,

or what time I came home, or where the tip of my finger went.

Hey, it's biting through the leash.

Well, stop it.

- I'm smacking it. - It likes being smacked.

Over there! Maybe we can--

Okay.

Oh!

Yah!

- What? - You took down a hell sprite with a mop.

- I think it was trying to get in here. - This is just a storage room.

The door kept drifting open, so a few days ago, I locked it shut.

Mission accomplished. I'm going back to the front desk.

There's a Tootsie Roll waiting.

But how'd I get up here?

Who cares? You're breathing, and you've still got all your limbs.

Get back in there.

Absolutely. Right after you promise I'm not in trouble.

- What? - Whoa, guys. Just hang on.

Okay, I'm ready.

I gotta get back up there,

or get the mermaids down here.

Oh, mermaids!

Single man down here who likes long chats and sharing his fears and feelings.

Which is exactly what I did with Jessica.

I was leading her on!

We need to get to land.

We need to find the mermaid who took my foot.

Would you forget about your foot?

- It takes a month to grow a new one. - At least your parts grow back.

Well, maybe yours do too. Have you even tried?

We can fight later. Right now, we need to work together.

Agreed.

Why did you do that?

So we can whack mermaids.

We're gonna sink. Then drown. Then we're gonna get eaten!

Please. We'll get eaten long before we drown.

Wait, I see an island.

It's small. Hardly worth the conquest.

Just keep the water out of the boat.

Back in your body.

Or what? You'll drag it to my room for a time-out?

Or you'll dissolve!

That's a risk I'm willing to take

until you say I'm not in trouble for anything that happened today.

- Fine. You're not in trouble. - I don't believe you.

- Yeah, I'd get it in writing. - Shayna!

I'm on your side, but I also don't believe she's not in trouble.

Exactly. You can act all cool,

but I know you're waiting till I'm in my body to yell at me.

Fine. You're right. I am not cool with any of this.

And why should I be? You astral projected and lost your body.

I only astral projected because you put an alarm on my door

and it was the only way to leave at night.

I put an alarm on your door because you kept leaving at night.

Uh, guys?

Stop me!

We're almost there. We're gonna make it.

Foul siren, bite us once,

and we shall bite in return until all the world is bitten!

Abandon ship!

Whoa.

We're safe.

They can't come on land.

Boys, I got good news and bad news!

Have you got any evil news?

I can't hear you.

The bad news is I realized I'm a bit of a tease

and owe Jessica an apology.

The good news is the mermaids go back to their cave at sunset

because starlight turns them to stone.

Okay.

This is all your fault!

Still can't hear you.

- Why? - I couldn't help it.

Well, why not? I mean, really.

I... I don't get it, Abaddon.

You're normal to Uncle Nathan. You listen to Mom.

Heck, you're best friends with Esther.

Why do you torture me?

Because you're so innocent.

- Huh? - Demons are drawn to innocence.

For as it is written in the black books of Goral,

it is that which is most clean that can be made the most gross.

Your pure soul is a blank canvas begging to be smeared with foulness.

You... fascinate me!

So you torture me because you like me.

- That's not what I said. - Nathan was right. We are like family.

I'm the gentle little brother. You're the tough older brother.

And every act of random violence is actually an act of brotherly love.

- Huh? No, it isn't. - Don't fight it.

I understand you now. And I accept you.

Hey, do you hear singing?

Mm, mermaid music.

I'm not a fan.

Are we still fighting or what?

Somebody stop me!

How am I just noticing there's two of her?

That's why I couldn't find my body. It wasn't moved. It was possessed.

- Is that why it's running like that? - It sort of looks like--

Candles!

Candlehead? Did you possess my daughter?

Candles.

He says he took my body for fun!

You've had a week. Fun's over, pal.

Candles.

He says he actually hasn't had any time

because he got trapped in that room where you locked the door.

I don't care. Now get down here.

- Candles. - That time he just said, "Candles."

Hey, uh, just a heads-up. Your arm is gone.

Mom?

It's gonna be fine. Candlehead, get your wax-covered butt down here.

Candles.

What is wrong with me?

My body was right there, and I didn't go back in it.

And why? To prove a point to a mom who loves me too much?

And your feet are gone.

Candlehead, leave my daughter's body right now,

or I will destroy you and every candle you've ever loved.

Candles, Candles, Candles!

No!

Phew.

Mom! Hang on! Shayna's coming up.

- I am? - I'm a floating torso, Shayna!

- I think I'm scared of your mom. - I think I am too.

Esther, please get back in your body. I won't even punish--

I deserve a punishment and I'll do whatever you want.

But feel free to go easy.

You're grounded for a long time.

That's super fair.

- Okay, I'm heading out. - Out? Out where?

Just out with friends I made in the woods.

Do I know these woods friends?

Okay. I see what you're doing.

I said I sometimes wish I had someone who cares where I'm going, but right now--

Don't change the subject, young lady.

And don't think I won't be up waiting for you to come home.

So, what happens if you help that puppet dance?

At first, nothing, but once his strings start falling off, a lot.

Ben?

Hey, Ben?

Okay, blink once if you're hypnotized. Blink twice if you want to be eaten. Hm?

My stomper!

We are like family.

You're the tough older brother.

Stop doing that to my pillow!

No one bites my little brother but me.

You don't get to go to hell

until I take you there.

Abaddon! Why are we hugging?

The mermaids entranced you.

I had to make a terrible choice between you and my foot.

And you chose me over your foot?

Feet grow back easily.

- You already said they don't. - I don't wanna talk about it.

Guys, it got dark.

- All good? - I lost a foot!

- But found a little brother. - Didn't hear any of that.

Ready to go home?

We never caught you a fish.

I think I'm done with fish for a while. Did you really have plans today?

Yes, a date with Jessica.

Whoa, so soon after Nathan?

He shot her down. I was in the vent to pick up the pieces.

I'm so curious about what goes down in those vents.