Original subtitles

Ouch!

I'm weak.

He got you.

Nice to meet you. I'm Nobizawa.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Asuka Saito.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Nobizawa.

Unlucky!

Unlucky!

Please announce the result!

Unlucky Story Grand Prix 2019!

The members will talk about their unfortunate stories.

The plan to judge whether or not they can laugh about it will be revived!

You love stories about misfortune, don't you, Hashimoto?

It's worse than eating a sandwich.

You're the worst!

You're the worst, Hashimoto!

How are you?

I'm fine.

The judge for today is Asuka Saito.

I don't know why.

You love stories about misfortune, don't you?

You love it, don't you?

You're grinning and laughing.

In the second generation project,

when we gave a spot to the second generation,

the third generation was grinning and laughing

in a place where they couldn't stand it.

You're looking at it with a serious face.

Is that so?

That was pretty funny.

You're that kind of person, aren't you?

This is the best part.

You can laugh like this.

I like it.

I'd like you to talk about it in various programs in the future.

That's right.

This is the worst part.

It's boring like this.

It's just news.

I see.

I don't think you'll like it

if you exaggerate it too much.

I see.

Asuka is laughing.

Asuka prefers "real the misfortune"

to "made misfortune".

That's right.

I think you're already in "misfortune" at this point.

What's wrong with you?

I can't go back.

You can't go back.

You can't go back.

First of all,

the misfortune of the third generation.

The other day,

we were doing a rehearsal of a concert.

A recent story?

We were doing it for about an hour or two.

Shinuchi-san said,

Isn't anyone here today?

She said that.

Oh, it's you, Tamami.

She said that.

But I was far away.

You were together for about an hour or two.

We didn't dance together at all.

But she said that.

I thought, "Oh, you're here."

But Shinuchi is too old-fashioned

for me to understand.

When we did "New Year's plan",

I thought we were on the same team.

But I guess we're not.

And there's more.

What did you say?

The other day,

Uesawa Minami went home with Renka.

She told me that she went for a walk with Renka.

But it wasn't Renka.

It was me and Renka.

There's something about it.

Why can't you see it?

I don't think I can see it.

If she keeps getting angry like that,

I think the cause is the alcohol.

And...

And what?

That's rude.

Please be quiet for now.

There's still something.

Like that.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

Sato Kaede wrote an episode of "one day" in her blog.

An episode of "one day"?

No, no.

It's "one day" for sure.

She wrote "one day",

and I was in the conversation,

but she didn't write my name in her blog,

but wrote someone else's.

And it wasn't just a few people?

No, it wasn't just me.

What?

You're not being automatic, are you?

We're pretty close, so...

So...

Isn't that Marushino-san?

So...

But you went for a walk with Renka.

There were only a few people, right?

There were only three of us.

Why did you make a mistake?

There was Iwamoto and Sato there,

and we were talking about how good the walk was,

and Iwamoto was like, "Huh? What's that?"

And Sakaguchi said, "It's me."

Why did you make a mistake? Oh, you were there, too.

I was there.

Why did you make a mistake?

Because there were only three of us.

That's right.

Hey, Sakazaki-san! Sakazaki-san!

There wasn't anything like that, right?

That's right.

Sakaguchi's shallow story.

Chief Asuka's judgment is...

Where was I? I was laughing a lot, though.

Well, you can laugh.

You can laugh, but...

You can laugh, but...

Your unhappiness is a little...

Oh, it's not like that.

You're happy!

You're happy!

Rather, you're happy.

Rather, you're happy!

I'm the crazy judge, so I'm a little...

Oh, you're the crazy judge?

I don't think it's that unhappy.

Oh, I see.

I thought you weren't there, and you threw garbage at me.

I don't think it's that bad.

Really?

I don't think I have much presence, either.

I see.

Even when we have a live show, I'm normally there, but...

The manager says, "Asuka, where are you?"

She's really angry in front of me.

Oh, I can't come out.

It happens a lot.

It happens a lot.

It happens a lot.

It happens a lot.

Isn't there something like that?

On my schedule, all three of us are in a bar, but we don't have a name.

What?

All of you have a name?

All of you have a name?

All of you have a name?

Only Sakaguchi doesn't have one?

Yes.

What?

I don't think you have one.

It's a miracle.

There are quite a few of you.

Next is "Unfortunate Story of Three Generations of Umesaba".

I'm very tall, but...

That's right, 2 meters and 3 centimeters.

Amazing.

How many centimeters was it again?

About 171 centimeters.

I have a bigger image.

I have a bigger and bigger image, but the surroundings are small.

The surroundings are about 130 centimeters.

No, no, there's no one just right here.

It's a beach beach.

Beach beach?

So, when I often appear in singing programs or variety programs,

on both ends of the TV...

Ah, it doesn't show.

It comes out of the TV.

Because I usually take it with this average camera work,

my face gets angry or...

It doesn't come out of your nose or...

That's right.

I rarely wear a cap.

It definitely comes out recently.

That's right.

I see.

And the thing that surprised me the most was...

On a certain program's homepage,

about six members were posting photos.

And there was a round advertisement on it.

And on my face...

You wore it?

I was so surprised.

I wondered if they made it to fit my face size.

I wore it and the advertisement was on it.

Completely?

Completely.

There's a photo of it.

There's a photo of it?

Wow, wow.

Ah, this is a telop, right?

Well, there's also number one, but...

Ah, that's...

Ah, that's...

Ah, that's...

Well, number one...

It got into your eye, didn't it?

Who is it?

Eh?

It's me!

It's me!

It's me!

It's me!

This is completely erased!

This is amazing!

It's like, "Huh? Shouldn't we be showing this?"

Even so, is it bad if it's not there?

If it's there, it doesn't matter where it is.

It's true, right?

I'm sorry, but I feel like I'm tall.

That's right.

Himura-san, you're like a rubber doll when you're taking pictures of people you don't know.

I don't know why.

My relationship with people I don't know is pretty bad.

Don't you have something like that? Your relationship with people you don't know.

Why don't you bend over a little?

Eh? But I always bend over a little.

I always bend over 1 or 2 centimeters.

Ah, you mean when you're standing up?

Do it, do it, do it.

Here, try standing in a line with a member who is shorter than you.

In a line?

If you do it like this, you'll show one of your necks.

I always do it like this.

You always bend over a little.

Ah, I see!

When you do it like this, you have to be careful of what's around you and stand up with your back to your toes.

Ah, is it okay? I want to see it.

Oh!

But it's hard around you, so it's hard to shoot for a long time.

It looks like it's hard when you shake hands, too.

That's right.

When we shake hands, we always do it like this.

We always cross our legs and do it like this.

Really?

Eh? But fans only come in small numbers like you.

No, they come in about the same number.

But of course, there are people who are shorter than me, so we decided not to wear heels.

That's right. If you wear heels, you'll look like you're 180cm or something.

Yes, I'll look like I'm 180cm or something.

But it looks cool when you do it like that.

It looks cool, doesn't it?

Yes, there aren't many idols like that.

Or maybe you can do it like you're doing kerais.

It's like you're being obeyed.

Or you can do it like this.

And you can do "hey" with both sides of your arms.

Oh, that's good. Can you show us?

Yes, yes.

Can you show us your "zako" feeling?

Oh, that's good. "Zako" feeling is good.

You have to show us more of your "hey" face with both sides of your arms.

"Hey"!

Can you say "hey"?

Can you say "hey"?

"Hey"!

Please say anything!

Please say anything!

Please say anything!

One, two, one, two!

"Hey"!

Can you do it like this?

I think that's good.

You can do it in the middle, but what do you do when Umesama goes to the edge of the stage?

I always do this.

Like in front of "choco-choco-choco-pi"?

"Hey"!

"Hey"!

It's not "choco-choco-choco-pi", is it?

Yes, it's like that.

Umesama's sad story.

Asuka's judgment is...

I can laugh now.

You can laugh now.

Huh? Are you happy?

Are you in a happy zone?

Aren't you happy?

Oh, you think so?

You're sweating a lot.

I'm jealous of you.

But you're wearing a suit.

But it was funny.

If it's funny, it's over.

If you knew you were going to wear it in advance, you wouldn't have to do your makeup.

You can relax.

That's a great idea.

Well, I can't help it. I'm happy.

I have to be more unhappy.

Like, "I bent here."

My hand is too high.

My brain came out a little.

That class!

That class, finally!

This program is brought to you by the sponsors you see here.

Wait a minute.

He's a psychopath. He's been laughing all the time.

What an awful story.

Next up is Akimoto's sad story.

It's expensive, but we're often interviewed by Zip.

About two years ago, a ranking of people interviewed in Nogizaka was released.

Because you often appear in Zip.

I was in the first place in the group.

That's amazing!

I'm grateful for it.

At that time, I was asked to do cute things or pose in the program.

There weren't many people in Nogizaka who had such deadly moves.

I thought it would be good, so I did a lot of zukkyun.

At that time, the interviewer here said, "Oh, it's cute!"

Well, I love you.

You should say it.

At that time, he said it.

I usually watch it the next morning or before I go to work.

When I watch it, I wipe my face.

The interviewee, the announcer, and the other interviewees are stripped of their faces.

The interviewee's face looks a little tired.

The first and second interviews were still cute.

But every time I do it, I get used to it like my fans do.

She's doing it again.

But I'm being asked to do it.

But I'm in trouble with my reaction.

What should I do?

I can't do zukkyun now.

She's being strangled by zukkyun.

She's getting back to herself.

To be honest, you don't know if you won't react to zukkyun, do you?

That's right.

I don't know how to react to zukkyun.

We used to do something like "kinkonkan-kun wins" here and there.

But we can't do it in real life.

We can't do it.

Even now, about two people do it at the handshake party.

Except for that, there are only about two people who do it.

We do it once in a while and go home.

I'm not used to it and I'm surprised.

Suddenly, "kinkonkan-kun" is done.

It's a terrible story.

The official says it.

If there is a party, it's easy.

We've been saved for years.

But if we come here and quit, wouldn't it be better?

But we've been doing it for six years.

It's a weapon that can't be thrown away.

You don't have to throw it away.

How about an improved version of "zukkyun"?

Oh, improvement?

After all, it's a cross carried by "dasu" side.

We have to do something.

If we make it a bigger weapon, "bazooka".

Can you do "bazooka"?

"Bazooka" is "zukkyun", right?

I don't think it's "zukkyun" level, but I think it's "bazooka".

Excuse me, Akima-san.

Can you do "bazooka"?

Can you do "bazooka"?

"Bazooka"!

It's good.

It's not just about killing.

I want to do something cute.

You say "zukkyun" before.

Something like "someone's heart".

"Zukkyun" in your heart?

Even if you say "bazooka" suddenly...

Is it okay to say that?

If you say "heart", it will be a collaboration.

What is it?

What is that area?

Bazooka

It's "bazooka", right?

I'm counting on you.

You guys in the area watching this!

"Bazooka"!

It's like a terrorist.

Don't you have anything else you're thinking of?

What am I thinking of?

Takayama is thinking of something now.

What did you think of?

That's good!

"Genki Hanabi" (Cheerful fireworks)

Cheerful fireworks.

It's like an idol song.

Cheerful fireworks

"Heey" is important.

"Heey" is important?

Heey

"Genki Hanabi" (Cheerful fireworks)

It's cute.

It's cute.

It's better than "bokkan" (fireworks)

"Bokkan" really didn't make any sense.

But you know what?

You can do it right away.

Like this?

Hold your ears and "don"!

She made it in one go.

Hold your ears and "don"!

Should we try it again?

You can't do it anymore.

How old are you now?

I'm almost 26.

You're an adult now.

That's right.

Can you say "ufufun" in real life?

Like an old woman?

Like an old woman?

You're an adult now.

I'm an adult.

Ufufun

Ufufun

I'm serious.

"Ufufun" "Ufufun"

You don't have to be stupid.

You don't have to be stupid.

It's not erotic.

That's why Master laughs like that.

I don't think Master is like that.

I've never seen Master like that.

I've never seen him like that.

He laughs like an old man.

"Ufufun" is what he said.

Next is Osen.

Try "ufufun" with a zip.

I'll try it once.

ufufun

It's a battle.

It was quick.

Akimoto's Entrance Exam Questions.

Asuka's score is...

Is it like this?

But I solved it.

You solved it.

I solved it.

This is bad.

This is bad.

It's boring.

I solved it.

It's not happiness.

But I solved it.

You should have done it.

ufufun

That's right.

Happiness is...

ufufun

ufufun

That's right.

It's boring.

I want you to do it for the second half of this year.

I want you to do it.

You don't have to throw away "zukkyun".

Really?

"zukkyun" and "ufufun".

ufufun

I got it.

"zukkyun" and "ufufun" are here and "ufufun" is here.

You should hit me.

You should hit me.

You don't have to throw away "zukkyun".

When I first heard "zukkyun", I thought you were stupid.

That's right.

I thought you were stupid.

I didn't think you were stupid.

But now I think you should do it.

That's right.

Your voice is low now.

Please do it.

"zukkyun"?

You should say "zukkyun".

"zukkyun"?

That's right.

"zukkyun"?

"zukkyun"?

"ufufun"?

"ufufun" is extremely lame.

What is it?

It's exquisite.

It's exquisite.

Is "ufufun" lame?

It's good.

It's good.

It's lame.

No one said "ufufun" now.

No one said it now.

But for now...

Well, your grades are terrible.

Your grades are terrible.

Your grades are terrible.

And it's boring.

That's right.

If we didn't make it up, it would have been boring.

Oh, no.

No.

No.

No.

No.

"ufufun" is good.

It's good.

It's good.

It's the best.

It's a good song.

It's good, isn't it?

It's good.

Please do it.

"aska", then.

"aska", you should do it.

"aska", you should do it.

"aska", you should do it.

You should do it.

- Like this. - Like this.

- Isn't it good? - Isn't it good?

Isn't it?

- It's ugly. - It's good.

- Isn't it good? - Isn't it good?

- It's good. - It's good.

Asuka's unfortunate story.

It's scary.

Yamashita's unfortunate story.

Yamashita, what kind of story is it?

Well, elementary school...

I'm sorry.

Hey, you did "huhn" once, didn't you?

You did "huhn" once, didn't you?

You did "huhn" once, didn't you?

"Huhn"!

Are you okay?

"Huhn" in real life.

That's a good way of using it.

It's a good way of using "huhn".

It's about my birthday on my fifth year of elementary school.

What's wrong with you? Do you have a cold?

I think there's a deviation.

But I'm fine.

It's about my birthday on my fifth year of elementary school.

Birthday?

Yes.

I was making cucumber pickles at home.

That's terrible.

It's your birthday.

That's the best dish.

Yes, it is.

With pickles.

I was sucking on the cucumber with a slicer.

I kept sucking it up to my neck.

That's a terrible question.

Cucumber is here.

Cucumber is here.

Did you get sliced?

I didn't realize it at all.

It hurts me when I realize it.

It hurts me.

You're laughing a lot.

It's scary.

They took me to the butcher shop.

Did you go to the butcher shop?

I realized it after I did it about three times.

Why did you go there three times?

I don't know.

I was in fifth grade of elementary school and my skin was thin.

Does elementary school have anything to do with it?

I don't know why.

Adults have thicker skin.

I couldn't see inside of my bones, but I went inside of my bones.

I was bleeding and I wrapped a bandage around it.

Then the blood hardened and it went all the way to my flesh.

It hurts.

And the next day...

Wait a minute.

You're a psychopath.

You're laughing all the time.

Everyone is listening to you.

The next day, I went to school in Ginkai.

I went into the sea and I wrapped a bandage around it.

I didn't want to go in.

I wrapped a bandage around it and went into the salt water.

It hurts.

I swam while I was doing it.

And it was your birthday.

It hurts.

I'm stupid and I'm strong against pain.

I'm patient.

You're stupid and you're strong against pain.

You noticed it after you went in three times.

Then my blood came out.

She's laughing.

She laughed when her blood came out.

You have to bleed.

It's finally coming out.

I'm scared.

Are you okay now?

I still have a little left.

You still have it.

Did you eat it?

Did you wash it and eat it?

It's covered in blood.

I'm scared.

But it's my birthday.

It's your birthday.

I can't usually eat cucumbers.

I'm very unhappy.

Why can't you usually eat cucumbers?

Yamashita's cucumber is unfortunate.

What is Asuka's judgment?

This is pretty different.

This is pretty unfortunate.

I think it's left properly.

The point is that there are scars left.

I like scars.

What are you talking about while laughing?

It's pretty high.

It's in here.

It was pretty interesting.

Was it interesting?

It's high.

It looks like a winner candidate.

It looks like you don't like it.

It's not interesting at all.

It's not interesting, is it?

Not at all.

Takayama's shocking episode.

Takayama's unfortunate story.

It's a recent story.

In the morning, I was about to get on the elevator.

My family was already inside.

My mother and an elementary school boy were riding it.

I said I'm sorry and got in.

I was about to get off the elevator with them.

The boy said...

I said I'm sorry, you weirdo.

I told my mom about it.

What's that?

I thought it was weird.

It's not weird. You said "I'm sorry."

I thought about it a lot.

Thank you for coming.

Good morning.

I thought about it a lot.

When I got there,

I said "Here you go."

And she said to me,

I'm sorry.

What's up with her?

She said it.

Was it weird for you to say it like that?

Takayama's "I'm sorry" misfortune story.

How will Asuka judge it?

It was funny.

It made me laugh.

So you'll say it?

No...

When did you say it?

It's in my structure.

I'm glad you said it.

If you say it in the morning, it's misfortune.

I see.

If you say "I'm sorry" now, you won't think of it.

What about you, Takayama?

I'm sorry.

That's normal.

I'm sorry.

That's about it.

I'm sorry.

You said it.

You really said it, didn't you?

I said it.

This program was brought to you by the following sponsors.

What's that?

What's that?

My nose is running.

What's that?

What's that?

The 24th single is recorded.

Romen Densha no Machi.

Remember Sometimes.

The music video for the two songs has been released.

I'm looking forward to it.

Next week, another misfortune star is born!