Original subtitles

[bell ringing]

[music playing]

We have to talk.

I just had the worst nightmare.

[MUSIC ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER, "CAN'T WASTE ANOTHER DAY"]

So, why documentaries?

That doesn't seem very lofty for someone as-- smart and handsome

as you.

Well, um, when I was about 10, we got cable TV in my house.

And with cable TV, of course, came remote control.

And suddenly, nothing else happened in my house.

I mean, my father would sit in his chair

and just flip through all the channels all day long.

There were only 13 channels, but he would just

go one through the next, through the next, to the end,

and then go all the way back around again.

And he would never watch anything.

And I'd sit there for hours just looking at him do this.

And I would think, surely, he would

stop and watch a show or a complete news

program, something.

But he never did.

And so I became a documentarian.

Huh?

Um, the separation was, you know, difficult.

But I'm finally starting to date.

So what do you want to do?

OK.

Men suck.

They really suck.

And you wanna know the worst part about it was?

The hotel was in Jersey.

He wanted me to commute.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault. OK.

Rub.

So what happened to you?

Well, we had this truly horrid evening during which

he ate veal and talked incessantly about his trip

to the country house in the Mercedes.

I mean, not once did he use the word "car," just "Mercedes."

Rub.

Oh, god, that is so gross.

He didn't even pass the cable test.

I don't even know that.

Well, I bring up cable TV as a socially relevant topic,

like it's something that shaped the current world view.

Uh-huh.

If the guy can respond intelligently,

he gets a second look.

And if he can't--

Jesus, David, you are such a slave to pop culture.

All right.

What else?

Well, after making every conceivable excuse to escape,

he just invited me up for sex, just like that.

So you wanna come up for sex?

It was appalling.

Men are.

Thank you.

Come on, David.

You know I wish every man was like you.

If more men were like me, the human race would die out.

You really oughta sleep with somebody someday.

Gwen.

It's not like I'm a virgin.

Two years, I haven't seen anybody yet.

And doesn't virginity grow back?

What?

Has it really been two years?

Shit.

OK.

Um, the doorbell just rang, and she's in the hallway.

Let's see how this goes.

Hi.

Hi.

You ride a motorcycle.

Oh, yeah.

It's the '90s.

Are you, uh, "spacious two bedroom,

one bath, one gay male"?

That's me.

I know it's a stupid way to put it, but I thought it was cute.

Oh, no.

Hey, it is.

You're just, um, a lot younger than I expected.

Oh, um, come in.

Have a seat.

Is the age thing gonna be a problem?

'Cause really, there's not a whole lot I can do.

OK.

Oh, wow.

'60s.

Were you even conceived then?

It came with the apartment.

You get used to it.

By the way, you're on camera.

Wait, you're-- you're filming this?

DAVID: Yeah.

Yeah, I film everything.

You see, these interviews are sort of hard,

and I have so many of them to do, that, you know,

I just wanted to remember.

This way, I can get a really good look at who's

gonna be sharing my life.

Ah, your apartment.

DAVID: What?

Who's gonna be sharing your apartment.

I mean, there is a big difference.

We're not getting married, we're just sharing rent.

DAVID: Of course.

Yeah, you're right.

So, um, what's your story?

Well, if you mean why am I looking for a place to live,

I, um-- I just broke up with my husband.

DAVID: Oh, I'm sorry.

Don't be.

He's a prick.

DAVID: Oh, I see.

If you must know, I moved in with him,

and he brought out some handcuffs, and some whips,

and chains.

And I thought, hey, maybe I oughta

know about this before I married you, so um-- I'm moving.

DAVID: You whipped him?

No shit?

It's not like I wanted to.

He asked.

DAVID: Do you always do everything you're asked?

Well, I said "I do," so I thought I'd better.

Anyway, are you gonna always sound like my mother?

You're kidding, right?

Uh, yeah.

No.

Exaggerating.

DAVID: Look, um, I'm not sure that this is gonna work out.

So how serious are you on this like, rent on time thing?

That fire escape, um, do you think that would

support a bungee cord?

Do you like cats?

I have three.

I'm a charter subscriber of "Cat Fancy" magazine.

I have all the issues wrapped in plastic.

And I hang them on my wall so all I see all day long are

these adorable little kitties.

And my kitties' names are Portabella,

Mirabella, and Griselda.

And they sleep in the same room with me.

And when I die, I'm gonna give my apartment to them and--

DAVID (ON PHONE): Hi, is this Gwen?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Yeah.

DAVID (ON PHONE): Hi, it's David.

The apartment in East Village, remember?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Yes.

DAVID (ON PHONE): Look, are you still looking for a place?

GWEN (ON PHONE): Well, uh, yeah.

Oh my god, I love her.

DAVID: What?

Who?

Her.

DAVID: Oh.

Oh, yeah, Flaming June.

Yeah, she's my favorite.

Obviously.

It's the only thing you have on the walls.

DAVID: Well, I have that horrible combination

of poor and picky.

Frederic Lord Leighton.

How come I've heard of him?

Well, I don't know that much about art.

I just saw her at this flea market,

and she looked so peaceful that I had to have her.

I mean, there I was at this flea market on 6th Avenue.

The one on 26th?

I love that one.

I buy everything there.

Yeah, that's the one.

And then she just jumped out at me and made me stop.

I mean, this sleeping woman just stopped the world for me

and made me smile.

And I forgot all about the homeless man who was asking

for change over my shoulder, and this woman who was screaming

obscenities in Italian at this man

who wouldn't let her sell her macrame at his T-shirt table.

I don't know.

I, uh-- I felt peace.

So I spent my grocery money on her.

Well, it's a beautiful color.

I love her night gown.

So anyway, what do you do about food around here?

Oh, are you hungry? I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no.

I just thought if we're gonna live together,

I oughta know what the arrangements are about food.

Of course, yeah.

Well, when I can afford it, there's a Mickey D's down

on the corner.

And if not, I just go to the deli

where you can get Slim-Fast in a can for a dollar,

and that usually kills any appetite

that ramen noodles can't fix.

Well, I actually like to cook.

So, I don't know, what condition is the kitchen in?

I mean, does it work?

Did when I moved in.

OK.

And where is it?

Oh, it's, um, over there somewhere.

Somewhere?

OK.

So, um, what do you like to cook?

Uh.

Oh, I like to cook cookies.

DAVID: Cookies?

Well, yeah.

You know, cookies.

Well, I guess, actually, it's not cooking.

It's more like baking or mixing, really.

Actually, I like the dough.

I just like to, you know, eat the dough.

Sometimes, I don't even bake them.

I just eat the dough.

DAVID: Anything else?

Well, you know, whatever there is,

I just take whatever ingredients you have in the kitchen,

and I just put it together and make whatever.

It's kinda like, you know, I don't know-- some kid

and a chemistry set.

What?

Why are you looking at me like that?

So with the money Grandmother left me, I left home,

and I moved to the city.

She gave me everything, really.

She bought me my camera.

And when my father complained that I

was spending too much money on film,

she bought me cases and stuff.

Do you want some fruit?

There's nothing to decide.

And everything to accept.

James Baldwin.

1960.

Hey, you.

Come here.

Yeah, what's up, mamita?

What was that about?

Did you think you were like, gonna get some?

I don't know.

What?

You gonna give me some?

Oh, yeah.

I'd like to give you some.

Um.

Do you, like, have a lot of dietary restrictions?

No.

Why do you ask that?

I don't know.

It took us like, a half an hour to find this place.

I mean, you shot down every suggestion that I made.

And then suddenly, we're here at a health food restaurant.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I-- I just really like hummus.

It's my life.

Would you like some fruit?

We swing with the nonsequential.

Joan Didion.

1972.

I thought this was a job interview.

DAVID: It is.

Why am I on camera?

DAVID: I'm a documentarian.

I record everything of importance in my life.

Well, since I'm conducting the interview,

shouldn't the camera be facing you?

DAVID: I didn't say I was very good.

Why do you think I need this job?

OK.

OK.

Hi.

It's me.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm fine, really.

I called to tell you that things are going

really good at the restaurant.

So, uh, I don't need as much this month, OK?

So if you just send about, um, half, that'd be really good.

No, really, Brian.

If you send more, I'm just gonna send it back, OK?

Uh, yeah.

Well, um, I miss it too.

Gwen?

GWEN: Yeah, I'm in here.

-Hey. -Hey.

What's that?

Do you like it?

I swiped it for you.

It wasn't easy.

So how was your interview?

Well, I start tomorrow.

That's great.

You don't like very excited.

Gwen, making $7 an hour to file books into their proper place

in the Dewey Decimal System is not exactly the stuff

that my orgasms are made of.

I know, David.

But come on, it pays the rent.

Oh, two things.

Events of the day-- your agent called, and he said you

have to call him back today.

Cool.

What's the second thing?

There's a strange man passed out on the couch.

Did you get luck today?

Uh, no.

He walked in in the middle of the afternoon.

He said, I used to live here.

And he fell flat out on the couch.

I thought he was dead.

[coughing]

And then I heard that, and I hung up on the 911 lady.

Do they really still use the Dewey Decimal System?

Hello?

Hello?

Why don't you let him sleep it off?

It's gonna be a lot easier when he's lucid.

Gwenny, there's a complete stranger with keys to my house

sleeping on my sofa.

I want to know how this happened.

Yeah, well, maybe when he can speak, he'll tell you.

Right now, you're just gonna get a bunch of psychedelic puke

from him.

So just let him sleep, OK?

[retching]

Well, you got the psychedelic puke anyway.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

BEAU (ON PHONE): David, Jesus, man.

What's the matter with you?

Who is this?

BEAU (ON PHONE): It's your agent?

Who do you think it is?

Beau?

BEAU (ON PHONE): You're damn right, boy.

Listen up.

Why didn't you call me back yesterday?

I have some very important people

who want to meet with you.

I didn't get your message until after 6:00.

BEAU (ON PHONE): And you thought I had a life?

I was in the office till after 10:00.

There's a lot about this business you need to learn,

pal. Listen.

Where are you?

The LIE.

Look, I've set up a meeting with PBS, this afternoon,

my office, noon.

My office-- you remember where that is?

Agents shouldn't be sarcastic.

Agents are only sarcastic.

Anything real that comes from it is accidental.

DAVID (ON PHONE): Comforting.

You're damn right it's comforting, you asshole.

I'm the only one who's gonna tell you the truth

in this whole fucking business.

Now this afternoon--

I can't.

I start a job at the library.

The hell you do.

Look, don't dick with me, David.

This is PBS, mating insects or some shit.

Right up your reality fucking alley.

Am I wrong, pal?

It sounds cool, but I--

But nothing.

Look, you find your ass there, or you

get yourself a new agent.

Shit.

You've gotta be kidding.

Look.

I'm sorry, David.

But Beau asked me to tell you that the guys from PBS

canceled the meeting, and he'll call you when they--

when they want to reschedule.

Oh.

So, what?

So?

Go home.

You should be more careful.

I'm sorry, I didn't see you until I just--

Yeah, I noticed.

I saw you coming up the street.

I hoped you'd bump into me.

What?

Why?

Are you kidding?

'Cause you're cute.

You know, I, um-- I live here.

Can I get you a cup of coffee?

Um.

Sure.

I'm Mark.

David.

Come on.

So.

So.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

I'm sorry.

Shit.

[music "william tell overture"]

Are you David?

Yes.

Uh.

And you are?

Walter.

Walter Pryor.

How provincial.

No, not really.

Look, um-- I don't mean to be rude, but who are you?

I'm sorry.

This must be odd.

Odd?

Yeah, it must be.

Well, yes.

Anyway, I used to live here.

And two nights ago, I had a riff with my girlfriend,

and she told me to go back from whence I came.

And since I used to live here--

You took her literally.

Yeah.

14 hours of scotch.

Uh-huh.

Understandable, I think.

You OK?

Oh.

I mean, did I interrupt?

Yeah.

Yeah, a lot of self-pity.

You interrupted the king of self-deprecation

in an intense practice session.

Hm.

Sorrow.

Makes for a bad day, doesn't it?

Yeah, you could say that.

Strange choice of wallowing music though, don't you think?

The "William Tell Overture"?

"The Lone Ranger."

Sorry?

"The Lone Ranger" theme.

Oh, yeah.

Hi-ho, Silver, away.

All that.

It's a pop-ish reference though.

I mean, it's a classic piece.

Yes, I know that.

But it's just I have this, um, thing about heroes.

Gwen and I, together, have this thing.

Gwen is the other woman who lives here.

Yeah.

Gwen and I met this morning when I rose.

She's a charming girl.

She's charming.

She said that I could use the shower and the telephone.

Right.

Anyway, we have this thing about heroes.

See, we don't have a lot of luck with men in general, Gwen

and I. And we get depressed.

And we talk about heroes.

I mean, it's like a game, a fantasy thing.

Do you really talk that way, or is it a put-on?

My, you are in a foul mood, aren't you?

So you don't have any luck with men?

But you are homosexual.

Yeah.

So you fantasize about heroes, eh?

Yeah.

Um, you know, knights in shining armor

to save us from the banality.

Decent men through history who were

there for us when we need them.

Batman, Superman and the like, huh?

Well, Batman, yes.

Superman, no.

Why not?

Isn't his movie stylish enough?

Look, it's complicated, OK?

No, I'm sorry.

This intrigues me.

Please go on.

OK.

Well, see, Superman was a guy from another planet

who had all these special powers that made him invincible.

But Batman was just a really smart

guy with a lot of money who bought

a lot of really neat equipment.

And he was human.

He had-- he screwed up.

I mean, he killed people after all.

What?

And you consider that an important human trait?

The ability to commit murder?

No.

No.

What I meant was he got carried away.

Right?

I mean, he had human emotions.

He was a human being.

But, besides, we try to stay away

from the obviously fictional heroes.

We tend to move more toward religious

and historical figures.

Ah.

Some would say that the religious heroes

are the most fictitious.

"Some would say"?

No one talks that way.

All right.

I got your message when I called in.

I know you're having a lousy day.

But I got a case of beer and some noodles,

so let's just get fucked up and whine.

Can I help?

Oh, you're still here?

Well, yeah.

Have a beer.

No, no.

You sit down.

I shall pour for all.

OK.

Thank you.

Do you love him?

Why would he lie?

I mean, he's so polite.

I know.

It's kinda creepy, isn't it?

I mean, he's kinda cute.

Cute?

He's flat out strange.

Like Jon Voight in "Midnight Cowboy"?

Oh, come on.

I swear to god.

Like that scene where he's trying to hustle that woman

with the money, like there.

Well, OK.

But I was thinking more like, like Martin Short, you know?

He's got this Ed Grimley.

Shut up.

No, he does.

And then Crispin Glover.

Oh, god.

All right, maybe Crispin Glover in like, "River's Edge,"

but no way him in like, "Back to the Future."

Look, man.

He wears a tie.

I know.

But he's an artist.

Oh, that's important.

[laughter]

What are you guys laughing about?

Oh, um, nothing.

You know.

Mating habits and such.

What are yours?

What do you mean?

Well, tell us, Walter.

Are you a screamer?

A what?

David.

No, what?

You don't have to embarrass him.

He's obviously interested in one of us.

I mean, granted, it's probably you.

But this way, we can get it out in the open.

So tell us, Walt, how loud do you plow?

David!

No, no.

It's quite all right.

The boy's obviously in need of some amusement.

Now I want to make it clear that I am not limited

to what I'm about to show you.

Please stand up.

And I will demonstrate one of my favorite techniques.

OK.

Hello there.

I like to enter from behind.

And cross my arms like this so that I may tease each nipple

and hold the chest while I softly

whisper into my partner's ear how much she means to me.

Don't call me Walt. I don't do animation

nor do I believe in cryogenics.

My name is Walter, and I only do live action.

And one more thing.

"The Lone Ranger" was fictitious.

Oh, you're a hot one.

You better snap him up, Gwendolyn, or I'm gonna

start a conversion campaign.

Nighty night, boys and girls.

So.

You wanna try it?

Mm-hmm.

Now.

[laughing]

[moaning]

[phone ringing]

Hello.

David.

How you doing this morning?

Boy, you artist types really sleep late.

DAVID (ON PHONE): What time is it?

It's 8:30.

DAVID (ON PHONE): That's late?

I get up at 6:30 for the drive in.

I knew there was a reason I lived in the city.

What's up, Beau?

PBS wants to reschedule, today, 1 o'clock.

DAVID (ON PHONE): OK.

Good.

Oh, fuck.

Scott?

It's David.

Is he there?

Is he mad?

OK, I'll hold.

Well, you're a lucky boy, David.

Look, I don't want to know why you didn't show up.

Just know they didn't show up either.

Look, we're gonna reschedule.

Monday at 10:00 AM.

Be rested.

Oh my god.

All this real food.

I don't know if my stomach's gonna be able to handle this.

You really shouldn't drink on the job, you know.

Oh, does this qualify as a job?

I hadn't noticed.

Life sorta sucks all around, don't it?

We do OK.

Yeah, I guess.

We do.

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I'm in some horrible rut.

I lost my job at the library.

Already?

Fuck.

How?

Well, my agent scheduled a meeting with PBS.

Well, that's great.

Yeah, it would be if they'd showed.

They didn't show?

No.

They rescheduled twice.

And I don't even know what they want.

I mean, Beau can't be specific about the project,

just that it's some documentary.

So I don't even know if I'm suited for it.

Well, of course you're suited for it.

I mean, he picked you.

It means he must believe in you.

Yeah, I'd like to think so.

But I don't know.

I mean, it doesn't seem that he's

really interested in my work, just in-- well, he's gay,

you know.

He's gay?

Really?

That man is gay?

Yes.

He's so bland and sweaty.

You know him?

BOTH: Christmas party.

Right.

So you think--

I don't know.

I don't know.

I would like to think that he signed

me because he looked at my tape and he thought it was good.

I mean, I know that he looked at my tape

'cause he thought I was cute.

And I don't really want to think about any other possibilities.

Yeah.

I can understand that.

It's just I don't know what to do.

I walk around, you know, and I think

about "Hamlet." "To be or not to be,"

the big speech, the big question.

See, only that is not the fucking question,

because you gotta be.

Right?

'Cause if not, then you're like suicidal, and that's crazy.

So you gotta be.

So then you're left with what to do.

Because you can't just be, you gotta be doing something.

So that should be the fucking question--

what to do or not to do?

Man, you are upset.

Oh, you noticed.

Why did you come here?

To have dinner with you.

No, to New York.

To make films.

Then do it.

It's not as simple as that, OK?

I kinda think it is.

Easy for you to say.

You just recently got some.

A good fuck always makes you cavalier.

This is not about my sex life, and you know that.

I know.

I'm changing the subject.

He was awesome.

And you know you could get it anytime you want.

I know.

How awesome?

Thor.

The thunder god?

Yep.

I mean, all I know, the room started shaking like crazy,

and there was all this noise.

Wow.

I know.

You're telling me.

So, uh, he may be around for a couple of days.

Cool.

So, um, can he help with the rent?

[applause]

So, walking down the street-- true story.

You know me, always true.

59th Street, Columbus Circle area.

See these two kids, innocent-looking kids,

nice-looking kids.

Strolling, talking, sharing gum.

Except wrapped around each of their necks,

humongous, snapping boa constrictors.

I'm not kidding you.

Snapping boa constrictors.

No one is looking.

No one seems concerned.

OK.

So I continue along my day.

You know, 46th Street.

It I want to go check out a little bistro

on Restaurant Row.

See a man, well-dressed man, outside the bistro,

on the sidewalk, doing push-ups, outside on the sidewalk.

46, 47, 48.

No one is looking.

No one seems concerned.

OK.

I go home.

I think it's time to go.

Listen to my voicemail.

Message from my mother.

Quote.

"Julie Lynn, I was wondering, is Lypsinka

going to be a quick dock?"

Ah, it's time to take stock, OK?

Public calisthenics, boa constrictors,

and mainstream Lypsinka.

This is an emergency, people, all right?

The millennium approaches, and I am not ready.

All right?

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh my god. You.

I-- wait a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry.

I'm very famous here all of a sudden.

I can't believe it. All right.

Ladies and gentlemen, excuse me for one minute.

You.

You.

I know you.

I know you, don't I?

Don't I?

Tell these people how you know me.

I don't know you.

You do.

Don't lie.

Yesterday.

What?

We-- we had an exchange.

We had an exchange.

We had an exchange.

What?

Exchange of what?

Venereal diseases?

Wedding rings?

Stocks?

What?

I don't know.

You do know.

You were there.

Like, uh-- looks, I guess.

Like a friendly exchange of looks.

That's all.

And then what happened?

We had this exchange.

We had an exchange.

And then you came to see me perform, right?

In this show.

I mean, why did you come to this show?

Why?

It's because I'm fabulous. Is that it?

Is that it?

I'm fabulous, right?

Is that-- I mean, can you just say it?

I don't know.

Look, I've never seen you perform before.

How am I supposed to know if you're fabulous?

I mean, why are you doing this?

Aren't you supposed to be doing your show?

I am doing the show, darling.

I am doing the show.

Am I not doing the show?

[applause]

Darling.

Oh my god.

Oh, I tell you.

Darling, after that arctic chill, you know,

I think we need some warmth and comfort.

Excuse me.

Um, look.

Mrs. Halston wants to meet you.

Would you come backstage?

[knock on door]

Come in.

Hey, sourpuss.

Boy, you know, I don't usually misjudge people like that,

but you did not make it easy for me.

Boy, you was a straight man.

I mean, I really had to work for those laughs.

Sorry.

No, wait a second.

I'm not sorry.

Look, I don't know why you picked on me,

but I thought I was gonna come back here

and you were gonna apologize to me.

But instead, you have me apologizing to you.

First of all, I did not pick on you.

So just hold that a minute.

I mean, that portion of my show is expected.

You know, I chat with a member of the audience every night.

I mean, usually, it's to insult their attire.

But you know, I saw you, and I thought

I'd try something different.

Boy, I almost bombed because of your stodginess, young man.

So don't expect an apology from me.

But I will buy you a cappuccino.

It really is a beautiful night, isn't it?

And do you believe this?

Cappuccino in a can?

I mean, who'da thought it?

You know, it's $1.50, and no tip,

and no attitude from those like, little French gay waiters.

You know, it's the best.

Hey, I'm gay.

I didn't mean that in a bad way.

I mean, it's not like the gay thing that's a problem,

anymore than it is the French thing.

It's just that attitude, you know what I mean?

You know, you really are a sourpuss.

No, I'm not.

You are.

No, really, I'm not.

I just-- I'm just having a little problem with direction.

Well, what?

You don't know what to do with your life?

No.

I mean, sort of.

I mean, I know what to do with my life generally.

It's just the next specific step that's a little hazy.

Well, what's the generally part?

Films.

Jesus, no wonder you're so sour.

What?

What's that supposed to mean?

So you want to make a dream, huh?

Well, sort of.

I mean, I already have the dream.

No, no, no.

You dreamt the dream.

You dreamt the dream, and now you want to make it.

But you know, there's this huge cavern

between fantasy and reality.

And you know, there really is only one path,

and it's usually hard to find.

With some people, it's discipline.

And other's, it's backbone.

But with you, I think it's something different.

I mean, my guess would be that your bridge is money.

Well, I guess.

But I mean, that analogy is not exactly how I would describe--

Wait, wait.

Jesus, lighten up.

I mean, exactly is so boring.

I mean, how much do you need?

What do you want to do?

Well, um.

I want to travel all over the country

and ask hundreds of people the same question,

and then edit their response into one two-hour answer.

So what's the question?

What do you hold to be an absolute truth?

Pompous and young, but it has potential.

You just say whatever you feel like, don't you?

Well, I-- well, yeah.

All right, so what do you hold to be an absolute truth?

Well, the difference between comedy and tragedy

is perspective.

And cable TV and Valium are made of the same stuff.

Too true, too true.

So how much money do you need?

What?

To do it the right way?

Oh.

Oh, forget the right way.

Honey, if you are gonna be an artist,

you know, we have to change the way

you think because the right way-- the right way?

Forget the right way, you know?

I mean, you wait for the right way, you'll never get it done.

Forget those big budgets, and agents, and all that stuff.

How much money do you need to do it your way?

Fuck.

Oh, god.

Hey, Gwenny.

There's someone here I'd like you to meet.

Not now, David.

I'm busy.

If this is a bad time--

Oh my god.

It's Julie Halston!

God!

I am such a big fan.

I saw your last show.

I haven't seen this one, but intend to.

Gwen, you're gushing.

I am not.

I don't gush.

I have evidence on film if you'd like to see.

Don't be a dick.

Oh my god!

What are you doing here?

Well, I came by to see some of David's work.

We had a nice chat after the show,

and I thought I'd come by and see if he has any talent.

Oh, talent, he has.

Income, another thing.

Well, Julie said that she might be able to help me find

some investors for my work. -No, wait a minute.

Slow down now.

I said that I would look at the stuff, and if it was any good,

then I would show it to people.

Let's leave it at that.

[groan]

It changed me.

That boy lying by the side of the road that way.

Blood was coming out of his mouth.

I knew he was dead.

I was just about 35 then.

The boys-- your dad-- was in school.

And there's this poor colored boy

lying in the street in front of my house one morning

when I went out to get the mail.

And he's just staring up at the sky.

He was dead.

But his eyes, they were still looking.

They was looking.

He ain't seeing nothing.

I imagine then, they was looking for a reason.

And that's when I knew we was the same,

and that my boys was wrong.

They's all running around in them sheets,

trying to stop the integration.

'Cause they managed to think somehow they was different.

But that dead boy in the street, he knew, and he showed me.

They wasn't different at all.

You and your sex, well, I guess it's the same thing, ain't it?

I'm not about to stand around, let

those boys do to you what they did that colored boy.

Because your eyes see things.

And they see pretty.

Everything.

Your eyes make everything pretty.

I bet when I see this, they'll have made that colored boy

pretty too, won't they?

DAVID: I don't know, Grandma.

Should he be pretty?

I hope he can be.

I just don't know how.

I just don't know how.

Why haven't I seen this before?

I don't know.

Um, I guess it just never came up.

She was right, you know.

DAVID: About what?

You made him beautiful.

Thanks.

So you have this meeting with PBS tomorrow?

Yeah, but I still don't know what it's about?

It's nothing.

It's about nothing.

I mean, you'll meet these two producer guys.

And they'll shake your hand, and look at your tapes, and smile,

really big smile, you know.

And they'll blow a lot of smoke up your ass.

And then you'll smile back.

And it'll all be over.

I mean, if they're really feeling like,

reckless, you know, they'll offer you a job.

But more than likely, it's just to let them know that you

exist-- that they should watch you

and see if you do something with this ability you

supposedly have.

And then next year, after you've done something else,

they'll come up to you, and they'll say, hey, remember us?

And you'll say sure.

And then they'll offer you a job.

But what if I haven't done something?

Oh, you will.

I mean, you're not gonna go to that meeting tomorrow.

If I don't go, Beau will drop me.

-No, he won't. -Yes, he will.

He told me so.

No, because you're going to be doing the film with me.

He'll reschedule the meeting.

You'd be a subject for me?

Mm-mm.

I'm just gonna be there.

I mean, you'll get your subjects the way you always do.

Well, what if Beau doesn't go for this?

He will.

My agent is his boss.

[music man ray, "sugar, sugar"]

Thanks, mate.

[music man ray, "sugar, sugar"]

Hey, that's where Yoko Ono lives.

Yeah, I know.

You know, we oughta add him to the list.

Who?

Lennon?

Yeah.

We do heroes, not martyrs.

Come on.

He helped a lot of people stand for a lot of things.

Yeah, and he made a lot of money in the process.

It was easy for him.

I mean, nobody was there to stand in his way,

and nobody was there to bring him down.

Besides, sometimes, I think the list is stupid.

All right, what happened?

I was on my way to meet you here, and I got off the bus.

And I was walking up town.

And I saw this guy, like, six or seven paces ahead of me.

And he had this great energy, and very muscular back,

and a really attractive left ear.

And I tried to catch up with him,

but I couldn't seem to catch him.

So I started to pray for a light that would stop him so I could

catch up with him and, you know, start

up a conversation or something.

But a light never comes.

And then I'm still after him.

And then someone shoves a pamphlet in my hand.

And I try not to look at it 'cause I know if I do,

he'll disappear.

But after a minute or two, I can't resist, and I look down.

And I see that I'm being invited to church

services on 63rd Street.

So like a good atheist, I wad it up and I throw it in the trash.

And when I look up, he's gone.

I'm sorry.

See, the thing is, it is so easy for me

to give up on the idea of God.

But at the same time, I remain firmly

convinced this man that I didn't even know

was the perfect man for me.

So who are you looking for, David?

Gilgamesh.

[music tom mccormack, "missing"]

You OK?

Yeah.

I will be.

Where's Walter?

Oh, he, uh, one of his paintings got into a gallery.

He went down to hang it.

What's the matter, honey?

I got my divorce.

All I have to do is sign it.

That's great.

When did it happen?

Papers came today with a big, fat check from Brian.

So now it's officially alimony, right?

That's so cool.

We should have a party.

No, I don't think we should.

I'm sorry.

I thought--

You don't know what you're talking about, David.

What?

Gwen, the man is an asshole.

He fucked you over, and you left him.

This is a good thing, honey.

No.

I loved him, and he hurt me.

And I gave up on him.

And he has generously supported me for two years.

And he did not fight my attorney's

request for an outrageous alimony

because he's a good man.

And I loved him.

And this hurts.

I'm sorry.

I-- I didn't--

No.

You never do.

Fuck.

[MUSIC ITCHY TRIGGER FINGER, "BURST"]

It's $10.

Please read the sign, man.

Do I frighten you?

Um, no.

It's not you.

There's something about you I like.

It's the quick exit.

Low blow, Mr. Glasshouses.

I'm sorry.

I'm nervous.

Quick like homosexuals and dogs, you know?

To hear my mother tell it, anyway.

Look, can I buy you a cappuccino or something?

You know, that's what I love about this town.

Keep a roof over your head long enough,

and someone's there to buy you a cappuccino.

I don't know.

I go through phases, I guess.

Sort of celibacy to slut and back again.

Between AIDS and infidelity, there's

a lot of hopeful relationships.

And sometimes, I just find masturbation to be

a little too redundant.

So a carefully placed anonymous mouth, that's all it

is, really.

Michael, that is so gross.

What is so gross?

That flippancy, that objectification

of the other person like he's there to perform a service.

He is, David.

He is.

He's why I came in there tonight, that boy.

He wasn't there to be loved.

He was there to get fucked.

I fucked him for his body.

I ignored him as a person.

He loved every minute of it.

You fucked him?

Not literally, David.

Fuck, got off with, interchangeable.

And you enjoy that?

Don't be so provincial.

Why is that funny? -I don't know.

I was just teasing my roommate's boyfriend

about being too provincial.

Jesus, I'd love to meet him.

He's a great guy, really.

Yeah, I bet.

Did you vote for Reagan too?

No.

I wasn't old enough.

Then what happened?

He died.

He was very sick for a long time.

And I see all these people, you know, like Larry Kramer.

And they are yelling, and screaming,

and trying to blame the world around them for the fact

that they were robbed of love.

And I wonder how they could be so sure that the one that died

is the one that would've stuck around.

I've been with three men for more than two years,

and they are like, all really great guys.

But men just like, move on, you know?

They just do.

But you want more, right?

I mean, you want to believe that someone will be there for life,

that you have a perfect match, and you'll be together

for the rest of your life.

I think it's that fantasy that makes everything go wrong.

There is no perfect match.

There are people who complement each other.

And these people that are well-balanced get together,

and they think they're supposed to be perfect.

Then they go on thinking that they are perfect.

And then something happens.

And years ago, you know, people used to find ways around it.

Now they just like, move on.

They go looking elsewhere.

Why do you think that is?

Because we have this instant life.

We don't like our environment, we get a button, we push it.

Our environment changes instantaneously

with no repercussions.

What are you talking about?

Cable TV.

[waves crashing]

Sorry, I'm like, the only white boy

who doesn't own a CD player.

Yeah, I think you are.

The apartment makes up for it.

Yeah.

It's a real estate wet dream.

Sorry.

We'll-- we'll have to do better than this.

I get seasick.

There you go.

[MUSIC NINA SIMONE, "A SINGLE WOMAN"]

I'm impressed.

Not many boys your age appreciate Nina Simone.

Not many boys your age appreciate Nina Simone.

You sure about this?

Yeah.

Here, put this on.

Um.

I meant on you.

Oh.

OK.

[coughing]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

David, I just left my office with two very pissed

off PBS execs.

Now where the fuck are you?

And this better be good.

Don't worry.

It is.

Wait.

What does that mean?

David?

David!

Dav-- oh for!

Jesus.

Hey, Julie.

Where are you?

I'm waiting on your call.

I'm at home.

Not going anywhere.

OK.

Thanks.

I gotta go soon.

I know.

I know.

So what?

She didn't call at all?

Not a peep.

Oh, man.

And I ditched the meeting at her suggestion too.

That totally sucks.

And I thought she was gonna be so cool.

She turns out to be full of shit.

I guess.

So, um.

You haven't mentioned it.

I am only chomping at the bit, waiting for you to tell me.

Michael.

So?

Where'd you meet him, mister?

When I went to bed, you were sleeping.

You went out prowling, didn't you?

I couldn't sleep.

And?

I think, um-- I love him.

David, you just met him.

-I know, I know, I know. -Oh my god.

It's pathetic.

I know.

Well, so is it mutual, or what?

Well, when I saw him, he was with another guy.

But I left, and he-- he like bolted out to catch me.

What do you mean he was with another guy?

Well, there aren't that many places

to go at 3:00 AM, Winnie.

Oh, Jesus.

David, I hope you were careful.

Urgently careful.

Oh, what does that mean?

Urgently careful?

The whole safety thing.

I mean, it was amazing.

He could make it such a part of the act

that it became just as urgent as the sex itself.

Wow.

You're telling me.

So?

Is he Gilgamesh?

No.

Then who?

His name is Michael.

Gwen.

He gave me the cable test.

Hey, you know, you really should get some better security around

here.

I mean, anybody could just walk right in and kill you

if they didn't like your show.

Oh, are you just anybody?

I mean, you did single-handedly destroy

the day of one of the more powerful

agents in New York City.

What?

Wait.

You told me not to go to the meeting.

I told you to call up, and cancel, and then reschedule.

And not to stand him up and then hang up on him, David.

I mean, Jesus, what were you thinking?

It wasn't intentional.

You know, I think I did misjudge you.

I think you'd better go.

I have another show.

Would you sign those already?

Would you mind your own business?

Gwen, it's over.

What's the problem?

You are such a dick.

I thought he was the dick.

No, you assumed that he was the dick.

You never thought that I might've been the dick.

What?

You never once thought that I might've

been the one who fucked up.

Gwen.

God, David, you have so much to learn.

Gwen.

Talk to me.

What happened?

You only get to know people so well, David.

[music playing]

David.

He was here again last night, wasn't he?

I wish.

Someone else?

You slut.

No.

I smoked them.

I was out late working, and he had left them here.

And I figured I'd give it a try.

And?

And I have a pounding headache, and you're making it worse.

Oh, I'm so sorry, but it is your fault. At least

he called you though, didn't he?

No.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry about it.

He will.

Oh, and David.

I hate to mention it, but the rent is due.

And don't smoke.

It's bad for you.

[music - julee cruz, "crazy"]

I'm sorry about before.

I was looking for someone.

Yeah, aren't we all?

Jesus.

David.

What are you doing here?

Hey, David.

Jesus!

What's the matter with you?

Men suck.

I thought that's what you liked about them.

Oh, don't be a dick.

I wasn't.

No, it's just his attempt at being crude.

What happened?

I went looking for Michael.

And?

I found him.

[knock on door]

MICHAEL: David!

Open up.

I want to talk to you.

Who are you?

Is this Michael?

DAVID: Yes.

Marry him.

I'm supposed to marry my hero, not yours.

What did you do to him?

Explain yourself.

If I could find out, I'd-- wait a minute.

You slugged me on his behalf, you don't even know why?

What can I say?

I like the boy.

You must be the provincial one.

I knew I wasn't gonna enjoy meeting you.

Oh, well, I'm more patrician than provincial, really.

And fuck you too.

No, no.

It was an instinct, not a judgment.

Where is he?

Oh, he bolted about the time you

showed signs of coming around.

Fuck.

Fuck.

You like the boy then?

Yeah, isn't that obvious?

He really likes you.

Are you sure?

Very.

They why did he run away?

And why did he hit me?

Oh, that was me.

I'm sorry.

A rather Jacobian impulse.

No.

No, no, no.

Before, on the street, he hit me too.

What do you mean?

You got hit twice, and you still want to see him?

I know.

It's like a really bad Rock Hudson, Doris Day movie, huh?

Except I'm starting to feel like Tony Randall.

Oh.

Tony Randall.

Shudder.

Jeez, pal.

If I'd known he'd decked you, I never would've felt the need.

I never thought the guy had it in him.

I mean, to be walloped twice in the same day, it's too much.

I'm so sorry.

Jesus, you are polite.

Why do you take the train?

'Cause it lets me out underneath my house.

It's late.

I know.

I had some drinks with friends after the show.

And you?

Running away.

You're running uptown?

That's a bad choice.

So boring.

I mean, at least Chelsea.

Oh, I forgot.

I'm not talking to you.

Exactly why is that?

Uh, you made me look bad.

I didn't even mention your name.

No, I know. I mentioned yours.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

I should just move back home.

Where?

Illinois.

Where?

Joliet.

My mother now lives in Naperville.

I guess we're bound by geography.

ANNOUNCER: Attention, passengers.

Uptown service at this station has

been temporarily discontinued.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

Well, it looks like we're gonna find

another mode of transportation.

We?

Yeah.

We.

You and me.

So this guy was headed back into the sex club,

and you just slugged him?

Well, kind of.

Should I be on guard?

I mean, this guy and I committed the same sin, you know.

Neither of us called you.

Are you gonna deck me?

It's different.

Oh, you don't know that.

Sit down.

Do you want a drink?

Sure.

Juice, soda, water?

Do you have coffee?

No.

No, I don't.

We could go out for some.

No, soda's fine.

Uh, well, diet, regular, Sprite?

Diet.

OK.

Caffeine or no caffeine?

Caffeine, please.

OK.

Ice or no ice?

Is it cold?

Yeah.

No ice. No.

Ice.

Well, which?

Ice.

Oh, OK.

Listen, David, I-- I know you don't want to hear this,

and I know it's a push day, but you know,

you really gotta give yourself time to grow up.

You've gotta like, think things through before you act.

But he was headed back into the sex club.

Which was his haunt, which you knew, which was his behavior.

You know, love doesn't change people, honey.

Only time does.

I mean, what you have, the potential for love, it's scary,

you know?

I mean, it brings forth all these possibilities

and oh, you get so hopeful.

But if you want love to last, you've gotta see the now,

and accept him for who he is, and support his evolution.

I mean, you can't expect him to be his best

just because you want it.

That'll make him hate you.

That's pretty wise for a spinster.

You really are a prick.

What?

Well, one last lesson, little boy.

And if you don't get this one, you're on your own.

Come on.

-Hi. -Hi.

How are you?

Fine.

So how is he doing?

He had a good day.

Good, good.

I think I can take over now.

-Oh, OK. -All right.

How are you doing? -Fine.

-Good, Brenda. -How about you?

I'm fine.

Good.

-All right. -OK.

Well, safe home.

You too.

We'll see you tomorrow.

OK.

David.

Sit down.

Yeah.

You know who I am today?

That's good.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I ran into a friend.

This is David, the young filmmaker I told you about.

David, this is my lover, Danny.

Hello.

Hi.

OK.

Relax.

Relax, sweetie.

Relax.

Shh.

Shh.

Relax.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We're just gonna be outside in the other room.

We're gonna talk.

OK?

OK.

You rest.

I had no idea.

No.

And you couldn't have.

But you assumed because you're young.

And you can't feel badly about that.

What's, um-- the problem?

One guess.

I never saw anyone before.

How?

Don't be stupid.

It happens.

I mean, in this day and age, people

get sick for being human.

He did a lot of drugs and slept with a lot of women.

We were never monogamous and never married.

Why not?

At some point, you learn that life

makes rules uniquely for you.

And it's your job to figure out what they are

and how to live by them.

And it wasn't in our rule book.

You still could.

Well, not until he can stand and walk down the aisle.

I'm truly sorry.

For everything.

I know.

I know.

Should I go now?

Yes.

You should.

[MUSIC THUNDER'S MONKEY, "DAVID SEARCHING"]

Hey, Gwen.

Where have you been?

I made up with Julie.

At 5:00 in the morning?

It's a long story, I'm sorry.

Where is he?

Who?

Your knight in shining armor with the two black eyes?

Yes, yes.

Where is he?

Um, him and Walter went down to the diner for breakfast.

Which one?

I don't know. They're guys.

For all I know, they went to the sports bar.

Da--

Michael!

Michael!

Do you want to go out with me?

I said, do you want to go out with me?

I heard you.

DAVID: Well?

Why did you hit me?

It's not important anymore.

Maybe not for you.

Hi.

Hey.

Why did you hit me?

Well, I don't know.

I mean, I saw you going back to that place.

And you hadn't called.

And I got so mad.

Oh, David.

The B2?

I wasn't going back there.

I live across the street.

I was coming home from dinner.

Oh, wow.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You are crazy.

That too.

So, do you want to go out with me?

You are crazy?

Will I need padded protection?

Just latex.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Was I making assumptions again?

Yes.

It's OK though.

You're young.

I wish people would stop saying that.

Well, we will.

In a couple of years.

Where are the boys?

Oh, David's asleep, and Mike went home.

I believe his preference is Michael.

You really are a geek, aren't you?

Well.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

Why is that so funny, my lady?

Oh, wait.

"My" lady?

No, it's not "my" lady.

It's an expression, you know.

Like milady?

Milady?

Are you making fun of me, Gwen?

Are you making fun of me, Gwen?

If you're making fun of me, I'd like for you to stop now.

OK, I'm very so-- OK, I'm gonna stop.

I'm gonna--

I have something important to say,

and I'd like for you to be calm for it.

OK.

I am very calm.

OK.

I can't--

It's OK.

I'll wait.

Oh, no. Please, speak.

Pray tell.

OK.

I'll behave now.

I've been to see a realtor.

You're moving out.

Well, now I know.

Well, talk.

I want you.

I-- I mean, um, I want to be with you.

Oh my god.

What?

You thought this was real?

What do you mean?

Oh my god.

I mean this.

You thought this was real?

I don't understand you, Gwen.

I can't marry you, Walter.

I know that.

I mean, I can't-- I can't even be with you.

Why?

Oh, god.

Walter, you are great.

I mean, sex with you is like nothing in the entire world.

But that's what it is-- sex with you.

And it's like this great drunk, you know?

And it takes me away from all my problems, from my life.

And then when I sober up, they're-- they're all

still there.

And I have to deal with all of those.

So I, uh-- I suppose I'll be getting my own place.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

What are you doing?

Well, just because it's not going any place doesn't

mean it has to stop, does it?

Yeah, I'm kind of afraid it does.

Whoa.

Whoa, slow down.

You dumped him?

Well, yeah.

You just like, walked away from all that scream

sex, just like that?

He just wanted too much from me.

And I liked him too much to lead him on.

Anyway.

I don't want to be tied up right now.

He tied you up?

Oh, David, you know what I mean.

Look.

I don't want to talk about me right now, OK?

What are you doing tonight?

Are you gonna see Michael?

Mm-mm.

Why not?

He's busy.

So what are you gonna do?

What I've been doing all day.

What?

Asking questions.

Gwen.

What do you hold to be an absolute truth?

A what?

DAVID: Michael.

Hm?

DAVID: What do you think to be an absolute truth?

What?

Oh, boy.

Seriously?

I have no idea.

What are you talking about?

That we're destroying the ozone.

Excuse me.

You're joking?

Um, um--

I'm completely lost.

Sounds corney if you say it out loud.

I will someday die, hopefully when I'm very old.

Well, um, that's sort of pejorative.

It's all really language, isn't it?

I really do think that there's good in everybody.

Confusion.

And joy.

What's an absolute truth?

I don't know.

I don't know if there is an absolute truth.

Is there?

An absolute truth?

There is no such thing.

Nothing is what you think it is.

Sleep.

Sleep.

Death.

Taxes.

Taxes.

Laughter.

Tears.

And orgasm.

I mean, the releases of the human spirit.

That my mommy loves me.

There's nothing that's an absolute truth.

Hitler was a bad person.

He killed many people.

That's the absolute truth.

Men suck.

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever see.

I don't think there is such a thing as an absolute truth.

You don't really need the absolute.

I mean, truth is truth.

You can't know what truth is unless you

get the right amount of sleep.

Dickey is much better nickname than Dick.

Hootie and the Blowfish signals the death of music.

That I'm always gonna be out of work at some point in my life.

Nothing is black and white, cut and dry.

Well, actually, maybe this movie that you're doing

is black and white, but nothing else.

It's not really black or white.

I mean, it is black and white.

There's no gray area.

One must eat to live.

Because every time I think something is absolutely true,

I am proven wrong the next minute.

So I guess the absolute truth is chaos.

God.

That's it.

God.

God.

That's absolute, as absolute as you can get.

I think it is absolutely true that human beings are

destroying the world through violence,

and greed, and carelessness.

And we must stop.

Sleep is the truth.

Good night.

And now I'm embarrassed.

[MUSIC THUNDER'S MONKEY, "DAVID SEARCHING"]