Original subtitles

Doesn't feel real.

Mae being gone.

I'm sorry about your loss, boys.

Hey, it's your loss too.

No, we didn't know her like you did though. Yeah, Mae was like a mum to us,

which meant a lot.

Because we all grew up as shit mums.

That's not true.

I love my mum. Yeah.

My mom's incredible.

Yeah, my mom's sweet, too.

Okay, great. That must be nice.

All your great fucking moms.

Let's keep today about Mae, yeah?

To Mae?

To Mae. To Pineapple.

So I see you lost the tan.

Yeah, out of respect for Mae. She thought it came off as anti-Brit.

And the diamond stud?

Mae thought it was pretentious.

But you kept a dangly earring. Well, Mae liked that.

She said it reminded her of the ear tag on her favorite sheep.

Wait, now you had a favorite sheep?

Doug.

Oh.

Wow.

I think you know someone.

Right.

Roll up for the sweet nectar of Ireland.

May's favorite, everyone get in.

May was Irish, was she? Nope, but we are, so get it right.

Okay, little game, yeah?

So, first go.

Glug, glug, glug. You've got to split the G on the Guinness.

Oh, yeah, this is like an Irish tradition, isn't it?

I think you'll find this juvenile practice actually originated in Britain.

I hate zeros.

And I love the drinks after.

The service cracks you open and the booze fills in the gaps.

Until it doesn't.

To me.

To me.

Oh dear.

What is it?

You're in trouble.

I'm gonna take this outside.

You okay?

Close. Thanks,

babe.

No, no, gross.

Sorry, okay.

So,

you have any lingering funeral thoughts you need to purge?

Yeah, I worry that Lay's death is our fault.

We're pregnant.

We're bringing one soul into the world so another one has to go.

Who the fuck do you think you are? Thanos?

What about you?

Any dark, unsettling truths strike you during the service?

I mean, just the realisation that everything can change in a moment.

We've changed.

My body is changing.

I have noticed.

Yeah, everything's changing around us constantly.

It's happening really fast.

I'm really excited.

And I'm a little freaked out.

I hear. But do not worry. You got me.

And I'm not changing a fucking hell.

What? Roy, baby, there you are. What the fuck do you want?

Cut to the chase. I love it. You sitting down?

Yeah, sure.

Well, you, my friend, our favourite client, have just been offered the head

coaching job at Chelsea.

Congratulations, my man. This is huge. For both of us. Not that it's about me.

Of course. But not that it isn't either.

Amazing, right?

Sure.

Told you like that.

How you

doing,

bud? Fine.

I told him we can leave if it's too much. I told you I'm fine.

So what's gonna happen to the pub then?

It's a good question.

I don't know.

Are we gonna have to move?

Yeah, I wish I had these answers for you, big guy, but that's one of them

things about life. Sometimes they throw big changes at you in bunches. Yeah, I

know. I live in London now.

I'm gonna go play darts.

He does, in fact, live in London now. Gotta give him that one.

We can do it up.

You play?

I can't play.

Hey, you get along with your mum?

Yeah, I love my mum.

How you doing?

Yeah, yeah, good.

Look, I did a thing.

You got it framed.

Yeah, well, I thought they might want to put it up in the bar somewhere.

That is a really lovely thought.

All right, don't sound so surprised. I can be nice.

Why am I pulling such a weird face?

Yeah, it's my favorite bit.

Who is that?

No, no, no, fuck no, fuck no.

She says, Jane, what are you doing here?

How can you ask me that?

Meg was my best friend. If that were true, you would know her name was May,

and you wouldn't be dressed like a hooker's bridesmaid.

Don't grief-shame me.

Anyway, I can't stay long. My show opens in the West End tonight.

Incredible cast, massive buzz.

I'm even wearing this vintage jewelry that was given to me with the silly

expectation I'll ever return it. I truly don't want to know a single thing about

it, but at least now I know why you're here. You're always picking a fight with

me.

Fine. I'll go.

I'll miss those eyes, though.

What are you doing?

Your earring is caught in my ring. Ah, I got it. I got it. I got it.

Rebecca,

I need to tell you something.

Hey!

Everybody,

if it's no bother, we'll have a tune for May. It's an Irish tradition called the

parting glass.

I'm just checking.

May was not Irish. She was not Irish.

I said it last time. No.

Yes, that's fine.

Yeah?

Onto my loss that I should rise and you should

not I'll gently rise and softly

Hey, you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I just... I just

wish that you could help me with my homework again.

Yeah, I know.

You know, when we lose someone...

Yeah, you can really put things into perspective, you know.

Could even make all this football stuff seem pretty silly.

If Mae heard you say that, she'd reach out of her grave and pull you back down

with her.

Yeah, that's why I didn't say it too loud.

How did your dad die?

Um... Yeah, well, um... Nana told me that he fell

on some steps and hit his head.

Is that true?

Yeah.

And he was around your age?

I'm good on stairs.

You ain't gonna lose me anytime soon, I promise.

You hear me?

Yeah.

Is it okay if we get back down?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, I might be all that you get.

And yeah, I guess this might as well be it.

But heaven knows I've tried.

Morning. Morning.

Hey,

Coach. When you were growing up, your folks would lie to you, right?

You kidding?

All the time.

About Santa Claus, cigarettes, the moon landing, tons of stuff. Why?

Well, Henry was asking me for some straight talk the other day, and I went

a little too serpentine on him for my liking.

Okay.

Gotta assume you had a good reason for doing so, right?

Yeah.

Well then, so long as those reasons aren't tied to your own discomfort or a

fucked up belief that Oliver North was some kind of goddamn hero...

You probably made the right call.

Right, Shawnee, pop that in there. OK. Good boy.

Listen, you're with Dad now and I'm going to work, all right? Yeah, Mummy's

off to play football.

Right, you be good at school, listen to your teachers, please, and you be good

for Dad, all right? Yes, be good for Dad, because I don't want any of what

happened last time.

What happened last time? Well, unfortunately, Archie, no farting in the

car, Archie.

It was me.

It was not me.

They were farting. Oh,

my God, you stink.

You stink.

This is your fault.

They're stinky boys. They're stinky boys. You've made stinky toys. Stinky

boys. Stinky little boys.

Stinky little boys.

OK.

Thanks for that, Ben.

Also, you're still good for Saturday, yeah?

Yeah, I should be, yeah.

No, no, no, should be.

We're not doing that.

No, I've got a match. It's the last match of the season, so I need you to do

it. Okay, listen, I might have a radio gig in Manchester.

What do you want me to do? Well, I want you to do it. It's my job, Elle. Keep

your promise, because I've asked you to do this. I'm not keeping my... Okay,

okay, okay, look.

I'm not the one that decided to try and be an athlete after having two kids, am

I?

Elle.

Jeez. All right. Okay, boys, we're driving, yeah?

Let's rock and roll.

What do you mean we have to go?

Rebecca, we are legally required to attend the shareholders' meeting next

week, even if we have no idea who's going to show up. Well, I'm not going.

There aren't any real bloody shareholders left anymore, thanks to

Rupert. I feel for you, I do. It's like when Roger Waters tried to take Pink

Floyd back.

And Rupert didn't even write Dark Side of the Moon, did he?

I wanted to be there for you, a bit of moral support. Oh, that's very kind of

you. Yeah.

But the lack of attendees is actually the one aspect I'm happy about.

In more potentially pleasant non-Ping Floyd news, moving the last match of the

season to Nelson Road is well underway.

Well, that was a bit of a debacle last time, wasn't it? Well, since the Bristol

win, yay, we've had a mild uptick in ticket sales.

We are close to a sellout, yes?

Erm... No.

Don't worry, guys.

I've got this.

Ah, Keely.

You look...

Serious? Thank you. Haven't slept. Too inspired.

We're gonna need a big push if we're gonna get to sold out.

What's the best way to do that? Viral video, of course.

But we've tried that. Wait.

First video? What went wrong? It was too self-important.

Made football feel like homework.

How? Wasn't like that when we shot it. It was fun, because the team is fun.

So, I went back and I... I'm just gonna show you.

Well, I'm intrigued.

Good. You should be.

Because you're in it.

It's our time.

It's our time.

It's our time.

Where are you?

Am I right?

Am I right?

Am I right?

Everyone I know has seen this. It's like Game of Thrones.

You've always had way less sex and violence. Why don't you speak for

yourself?

I think drunk Rebecca might be my new spirit animal, you know? Oh, yeah, I am

definitely dressing up as her for Halloween this year.

OK, fine, I'll go as Higginson and just stand awkwardly by you all night.

All right, guys, come on, let's lock in a little bit. Big game today.

So what? You're the captain now.

No, obviously not. You're acting like the captain.

Can you stop being a bit nasty, can you?

Hang on, hang on.

Oi, where is Lizzie?

Right, I'm going to head out, unless you want me to stay.

And I will. No, I love that you're going. And I am going to watch from our

comfy couch, in my comfy clothes, next to a comfy bin, ready for when our baby

turns me into the exorcist.

The exorcist is actually the priest who removes the demon that caused the

vomiting.

Which is why... What the fuck am I banging on about? Who cares? I'm so

sorry.

Love you.

Love you.

Game day, y'all.

Game day. Here we go, game day. Here we go, up top. No worries.

Okay, so look, have some ideas for today's starting line, all right? Come

on. Maybe it's time to get a new chair, coach.

It is a new chair, coach.

Knock, knock.

Ah, good morrow, Sir Higgs-a-lot. Good morrow, yon coaches.

Yeah, sure. I hope this isn't a bad time, but we have a visitor.

Ayo, Greyhounds.

Nate the Great, are you kidding me? Get out of town, come on. Oh, man.

It's so great to see you. You too.

Look at you.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, have your eyes always been blue?

Yep.

I'm Nathan Shelley. This right here is Alice Childen. Alice, this is Nathan

Shelley. Nice to meet you.

Congratulations. You both just met a cool person.

Oh, lovely. How's the new gig going? Yeah, great. Yeah, no. Hey, how many

people does it take to coach the Polish national football team? Oh, I don't

know. How many?

Three.

Same as we got here. How about that? Yep. One, two, three. Hey, what brings

you in town, mate?

Just visiting family. And then I saw the video of your team. Made me realize I'm

long overdue a visit.

Ooh. How's the baby?

We just grew up. We love little Athena. Oh, my goodness. Squeeze a little... You

had a fucking wonder, kid. Roy fucking Kent. How are you, mate?

Nice to see you. I'm good, thank you.

It's nice to be back. Okay, you great coaching minds, I'll leave you to it.

All right, now.

Uh, Higgins, could you actually hang on for a minute? I, uh...

I fucking hate to say it, but I need some advice.

Huh?

Uh, Diamond Dogs, mount up!

Now, there was something here that I used to get...

I'm

fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Oof. I'm so sorry, a quick question. Probably silly. What the fuck is

happening? No, great question, Coach.

The Diamond Dogs are, uh... Oh, my God, what did I used to say here?

A collective?

An agglomerate? A council, maybe?

A coven? Coven? Coven? Coven? No, a bar?

Collective? Collective?

Carcophagus? Carcophagus? For fuck's sake, the Diamond Dogs is just a thing

where we talk about the shit that's in our heads and nobody judges, but for

some reason, it has to start with some fucking barking.

Right, so it's a guy thing.

Yeah, I mean, traditionally, yes. But you're more than welcome to stay. You

could be a cat.

Dogs can sometimes be female.

Oh, right. Yeah, OK, be a dog. No, no, no, I want to be a cat.

Proceed.

OK, so, uh... Keely's pregnant.

How about that?

Wow, right. Yeah, but it's only been two months, so... Oh, yeah, no, I wouldn't

start telling people yet. It's way too soon. Oh, I'm so sorry. That was judgy,

wasn't it?

That was judgy.

Sorry. I know it's too soon to talk about, but I've got to get this fucking

shit out of my head because... I just mean... I don't want to fuck up a

perfect kid.

I think you're being a little tough on yourself there, bud. You've always done

a wonderful job with Phoebe.

Yeah, but being an uncle's a part-time gig. Anytime Phoebe annoys me, I send

her fucking home.

But this kid's going to be stuck with me.

How do I make sure... i'm a good dad

but

i mean fatherhood's one of them things you ain't ever gonna be ready for feels

like yesterday i was crapping my khakis all worried about henry being born and

here i am 12 years later still wondering if i'm doing it right i guess i just got

used to the smell when julie and i were expecting our first my dad advised me if

you drop your kids and you will Just pick him up as quick as you can.

That's oddly comforting.

At the end of the day, can you all hear me from up here? Yeah, perfect.

End of the day, love wins.

And if you can surrender to the emotion of it, that informs the decisions you

make. Head catches up with the heart.

Roy, when I thought I was going to be a dad, I got more excited with each

passing day until I finally realized that...

Jane had been pregnant for 11 months.

Having a kid is something a lot of people want, but not everyone gets.

That uncertainty you're feeling right now, just remind yourself that's

something that a lot of people hope to have.

Thank you.

Oh, I see. It's a conversation.

Yeah, it's just a conversation. But way cooler. Right.

You have something you want to add, Coach?

I don't know if I even want kids myself, but don't

tell them that green beans taste delicious because they don't, and it

will take them years to rebuild that trust again.

That's a good point. And don't disappear when you feel inadequate.

Yeah, well said. Okay.

Well, the Diamond Dogs and the Kitty Committee. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I

want to be called the Cat People.

Point of order, but that's plural and there's only one of you.

For now.

Fair play.

Okay, well, the Diamond Dogs and the Cat People have spoken.

Oh,

any word from Lizzie? I keep texting her, but she's not responding.

Just like all your boyfriends.

Oh, my God.

I'm really sorry, I have a massive nightmare, everyone. Can I give you

them? Oh, Lizzie, I didn't know those take-your-kids-to-work days. Yeah, well,

when your ex is a fantastic guy and he loves surprises and he makes Mummy think

really creatively about childcare, then this is where we're at. Hi, guys.

Sorry. Shall we sit down?

Do you guys want to have some fun? OK.

No, June, you don't have to do that. It's OK, you're actually doing me a

favour. I could use the child labour.

Right, well, I think you'll find that it works when you pit them off against each

other. Got it. Yeah.

Okay, so which one of you is the fastest at folding towels? I am, I am. Okay, but

you've got to come out there and prove it to me.

That's where that wins.

Bye.

You good?

I'm going to kick that bar today like it's his fucking dick.

Yeah, you're good.

I'm good.

I really wanted to be there today.

Oh, I know, darling, but work is work.

I'll be there.

just so I can see you more. Well, that is very sweet, but know that if you did,

we would beat the living shit out of your stupid fucking crappy little

garbage team. Sorry, I slipped into a different mode just then.

No, I liked it, and I love you. I love you.

Sorry, nearly ready.

No, no, take your time.

How's your husband doing?

Oh, no, we're not married. Oh, smart.

Marriage is bullshit anyway.

If you're happy or at least think you are, why risk it, yeah?

I have some troubling news.

What? It's the Milt sisters.

They've sold their shares.

Oh, sure, they'll never break.

So this is why they didn't call you back either.

Bastards! I'm so sorry.

I can't believe this is happening.

The kids said they have snacks in their bags?

Yeah, they do, yeah. But you don't have to keep looking after them, Jane. It's

okay, really. Just a heads up, they do have a little surprise for you, but

after that, they'll be in their seats. Great.

Hang on, what surprise?

Okay, gang, let's all get behind the starting lineup.

Oh, good shot!

All right.

All right, hey, there you go.

All right, y'all, here we go.

Last match magic.

You know, I hadn't done this whole coaching thing in a couple of years, and

I'm going to be honest with you, I was nervous as hell to get back at it.

But y'all have been incredible, for real.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your patience, for your hard

work, and most importantly, for expanding my wardrobe beyond khakis and

chinos.

Oh, not evident this afternoon.

So, look, I don't know what kind of crowd we're going to have out there

today, how many folks there is watching and whatnot, but it don't really matter.

Because anybody that's here to watch y'all play is here because they want to

be here.

Same as us, yeah?

That's what matters.

In fact, I can only think of one person that ain't going to be here that I know

would want to be here. But assuming they got good Wi-Fi at the pubs up there in

heaven, she's going to be watching y'all.

So you better play hard, my best.

You heard the man.

All right, come on. Let's bring it in, yeah?

Let's do this, baby.

There you go.

All right, Richmond on three. Ready? One, two, three.

Richmond!

Our Richmond fans are showing their thanks with an incredible turnout, and

Nelson Road is absolutely pulsing. If this Richmond team was a body, this

crowd would be its ever-beaten hearts.

The singing of these fans like blood provide them vital nutrients and

precious oxygen.

You guys good? Yeah!

Thank you so much. OK. All right, come on, boys, focus.

Be serious.

it's richmond against crystal palace and here come the teams

kfc

richmond women have done it they've sold out nelson rose stadium

and it's an especially big day for richmond's own shannon stone in her

first start for her childhood club this is incredible i changed my mind i want

to start no do

you

have a second guess leaving richmond for manu yeah sure But as Dorothy learned,

sometimes you have to go away to know where home truly is.

I love the voice of the voice. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Dorothy is my auntie who left my uncle for a dance instructor for a little

while. A big, big scandal, and it will be Sanya family.

Let's go, Richmo!

I'm sorry.

I should be at home resting, I know.

I couldn't stay there.

It's got to be all the energy here.

Come on, Ed.

Where are we going?

what richmond have achieved this season would have been impossible without the

leadership of rebecca welton so long as her steady hand remains richmond's

future looks very bright indeed

This is the right day, isn't it?

Yeah. Where the fuck is everyone?

I don't know.

Why don't you both ask your amazing mums?

You probably would know.

This meeting of AFC Richmond shareholders is called to order. We'll

begin with open comment.

Zelda, why are you here?

Because it was me all along.

This is bad.

How do you know?

She said... Sorry, what are you saying?

It wasn't Rupert. It was me all along.

Again, sorry, what are you saying?

It's very echoey in here. And you're so far away.

Oh, fucking hell, I was trying to make a dramatic entrance. OK, look.

What I'm trying to say...

is that it was me buying up the shares all along and not Rupert and blah, blah,

blah. I now have a controlling interest in your team. Correction, my team.

Ta-da!

Now she said ta-da.

What have you done?

Well, Rebecca, let me tell you, you remember my very, very good friend, Hugo

Riddles, you know, the sleazebag with the punchable face?

Well, it was he that was making house calls, buying up shares for me all over

town. And Higgins, oh, you were really hot on his tail for a minute there,

until your obsession with Rupert, which you all seem to have, led you astray.

Leslie, you were so certain.

Then, once Hugo had finally persuaded those...

bleeding milk sisters to sell their shares.

Well, that's me. I own over 50% of AFC Richmond. Fish, bash, bosh.

Bob's your mother's brother.

Why would you do this? What happened to women helping women?

I am helping a woman.

Me!

Don't worry, I'm not going to mess with your lady greyhounds.

That's not what I was after.

No, you see, I wasted a lot of time trying to make the men who make the

decisions in football listen to me. And the one way to make sure that they do is

by owning a men's team in the Premier League.

So, thank you.

Oh, Rebecca, don't look so surprised.

Come on. I mean, you knew from the beginning I'm a scorpion.

Scuttle, scuttle, scuttle.

Sting, sting, sting.

How's the homework going, big guy?

It's actually pretty tough.

Yeah? Well, if you want, I can lend you a hand, unless it's math.

It's math.

Shoot.

I'm sorry, I missed some of your games this season.

But I just wanna let you know that I'm gonna shift some stuff around on my side

of things and make sure that don't happen next year.

I promise.

Cool?

Cool. Yeah.

Yeah.

And, uh, there's actually something else I wanna talk about with you.

Okay.

It's about how your grandfather passed away.

Leslie,

you promised that we would keep control of the team. Yeah, I know, but the

numbers kept on changing.

I've lost the club because of you, you moron. You can't say that to me! I love

it when they turn on each other. I can't believe I ever trusted you! But Rebecca,

what if when the Milk Sisters sold their shares, they didn't actually sell to

Zelda after all?

What?

I don't get it. Mr. Riddles, you can come out now.

Hugo!

Good one. How could you betray me like this?

What did they offer you?

Absolutely nothing.

Zelda, you didn't ask me to go to the milks. You demanded it.

And when you did, you were even meaner to me. We riddleses are deeply feeling.

So at that moment, I decided to drink the milk of human kindness through the

straw that broke the camel's back.

and sell the shares to Rebecca instead, you pubeless twat.

Yeah, but hang on, your numbers don't add up, because that puts us both at

49%, so you don't have any more control than me.

Right. Yeah.

About that, Leslie?

Zelda,

I'd like you to meet Elaine Pinter of Pinter and Sons.

Elaine, I believe you had something you wanted to share with us.

Thank you, Rebecca.

Yes, I'm speaking on behalf of a former client of ours.

Her name... Did it freeze?

..was May Green.

Classic pinterpaws.

Miss Green banked with our company for many years.

She also asked us to execute her will.

Are Mr Blumenthal, Mr Lafleur and Mr Primrose in attendance?

Yes, Miss. Yes, milady.

You three gentlemen are now the owners and proprietors of the Crown and Anchor

pub. Miss Green's only request in running the business was, and I quote,

don't fuck it up.

And that she loves you.

A colleague of mine is there waiting for you now.

So we own the Crown and Anchor?

Correct.

Probably watching the Looney Tunes.

And now, in regards to Miss Green's 2% ownership stake in AFC Richmond, she

recently amended her will to say, I, May Green, ask that my entire holdings of

AFC Richmond be given to Rebecca Welton.

And anyone trying to take the club away from her can eat my arse.

Bit salty, but nonetheless legally binding.

Well, that's all I have.

Go Greyhounds.

Thank you, Elaine.

Speak to you soon.

Now, Zelda, I'm no maths whiz, but I believe that puts me back over 50%.

All right.

You got me.

It was worth a shot, you know?

I'm sorry, Rebecca.

I really am, but you know what I'm like.

It's just who you are.

I know.

And I forgive you.

I know you love the story of the scorpion and the frog. A lot of people

do.

But I care for a different one.

A woman sees a scorpion drowning in the river and she tries to help it over and

over again and keeps getting stung.

And the passerby says, why do you keep bothering to help something that hurts

you over and over again?

And the woman says, it's in the scorpion's nature to sting.

Just as it's in my nature to save.

Why would I change my nature just because of theirs?

You think it's the same scorpion in both stories?

I look forward to seeing you at the next shareholders meeting.

Well,

I learned a long time ago that when you're not the craziest person in the

room, it's time to leave.

So?

Hugo, take me home.

Bastard.

I'm hotter for you now than I have ever been before.

But now you're a naughty boy in big trouble.

I hope you punish me severely.

Do you think it's wise to keep her on board?

Like the man says, keep your friends close.

And your scorpions closer.

Good morning, Coach Kent. You got a minute?

Of course.

Oh, but if this is about your big news, I already know.

Congratulations.

Clearly told me.

She what?

And please know that even though I'm not family, per se, I will insist on being

called Auntie Supreme.

Oh. I'm so thrilled for you both. Thank you.

There's actually something else I need to tell you about.

Tell me.

Chelsea asked me to be the new manager and I'm going to say yes. Go fuck

yourself! It wasn't an easy decision.

What, to turn your back on the club that took you in when Chelsea kicked you to

the fucking curb? The club that actually gave you a chance to be a manager in the

first place?

This is why you didn't sign your contract, isn't it?

You and that sockless twat of an agent of yours just stringing us along. You

don't believe that. Oh, the fuck I don't. I need a drink.

Is there booze in that? No, Bellend. That is why I said I needed a drink.

Just so you know, they wanted me to start immediately, but I said no, not

until the season's over. Oh, wow.

Oh, so thoughtful of you. Roy Kent, Employee of the Year.

Get Higgins to give you a fucking plaque.

Well, go on then.

Aren't you going to say, oh, I love Richmond.

It's just Kelsey's in my blood, Rebecca.

If it was any other club, fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck.

And you're hoping that I'm going to say, oh, Roy, we always knew we couldn't keep

you forever, which actually is true.

But there's something else I want to say.

You are putting so much pressure on yourself moving there.

You are taking...

The most massive risk.

I know.

But we've got to take risks, haven't we, Rebecca?

Otherwise, what's the fucking point?

I deserve for good things to happen in my life.

Don't I?

You're right.

No.

You're right.

You're the one who said that. And then you said...

Get out of your own way, man.

This whole woe-is-me thing you're doing is fucking ponderous.

I don't sound like that. You sound exactly like that.

And you were right.

I fucking love you for saying it.

Okay.

But know that when you get bored of Chelsea's...

unlimited budget and endless resources, you are always welcome to come crawling

back to AFC Richmond.

I will.

Congratulations, Roy.

Really.

And the best of luck with all of it.

Thank you, Aunty Supreme.

Sounds good.

It does.

I can come back later.

Oh, we were just saying goodbye.

Roy has some big news.

Yeah, which I know nothing about.

Actually, you don't.

I'm going to be head coach of Chelsea next season.

Hey, all right. Congrats, coach.

Thanks, coach.

You yell at him?

Was it scary?

But y'all are cool now, huh?

Yeah, I love that.

I gotta get going.

Thank you. Cheers.

You okay?

Do you know how Mae died?

Well, I... She died doing what she loved.

The rest of us, we're all still in it, aren't we?

We laugh, we pout, we bawl, we get back up.

We're a mess.

And that is... fantastic.

Being messy just means... being alive.

We could all do with being a bit more alive.

So what are you waiting for?

Sorry,

Ted, did you say something?

Nope, not yet.

But, funny enough, I was...

Kind of hoping you and I could have a chat about your newly opened manager

position.

Under the nimble direction of Julie Taymor, Emma Stone is a revelation,

forming an electric chemistry with her oblivious paramour, the bearded coach,

as memorably portrayed by Richard Schiff. Richard Schiff?

Hey, coach.

Hey, Gus.

How's your foot? A tough way to end the season.

Yeah, I'm good. Caroline said it's just a hairline fracture.

Yeah, but she promised not to dance in any more bars at the next party.

No, I promised not to fall off any bars.

Well, you're lucky to have someone to look after you.

Look, coach, we know breakups can mess with a person's head.

Especially if your ex never really gets out of your life. And then goes on to

write a hit show about your relationship.

Yeah, but she actually thought it was pretty moving. Yeah.

You saw it?

Yeah. And I think your character comes across as powerfully mysterious.

And Richard Schiff does a really good job at making you likeable.

Look, but despite all that, we want to let you know, you're great.

Yeah. Just the way you are.

Thanks, Eminem. I appreciate it.

Right, well, we're off to the cat shelter.

You're adopting a cat?

Oh, no, it's a lesbian bar in East London. They have a great brunch.

Thank you.

Hey, Siri, how old is Richard Schiff?

Richard Schiff is 71 years old. Oh, that's great.

Hello, my love. Hello.

Roses for my English rose.

Fuck it.

Marry me.

Did you just say fuck it and then marry me?

Yeah, I did.

Funny. I wasn't joking.

I'm... done being a marriage hater. I actually really loved being married. It

was just to the wrong person.

But then you came along and I want to stop worrying about what might be wrong

and just start living my life with you.

If you'd like to do that with me.

Are you proposing to me?

Yes. In your office?

Yes.

Oh, that's romantic.

I've got you some flowers.

Oh, wow, my favourite.

And I'd get down on one knee, but it's quite hard to assume that position in a

pencil skirt.

Well, someone's got to do it.

OK.

Rebecca Welton.

Yes.

Yes, of course. I will marry you.

Oh, my God.

Matthias. Oh, no. This is absolutely not happening. Please get up and kiss me.

Come on.

Fucking hell!

When death comes, like the hungry bear in autumn.

First round's on us. Welcome to the crown and anchor.

Did you know oysters come from the sea?

When death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me

and snaps the purse shut.

When death comes like the measle pox.

When death comes, like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I

want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering.

What is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore, I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood.

And I look upon time as no more than an idea.

And I consider eternity as another possibility.

Something for everyone in that couple, isn't there?

And I think of each life as a flower.

As common as a field daisy.

And as singular.

And each name a comfortable music in the mouth.

What are you doing here?

Some of us actually work during the off-season.

Here, hold this.

Tending.

As all music does.

Towards silence.

You're a psychopath.

I know.

Have a nice break.

And each body a lion of courage.

And something precious to the earth.

morning morning when it's over i want to say all my life i was a

bride married to amazement this is for you

wasn't this my going away gift it was

go

ahead open it

That I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

Congrats.

Thanks. When it's over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life

something particular.

Thank you.

Well done.

And real.

Oh, did I miss it? Oh, my God.

Change is good.

Right. Made copies.

There you go, Coach. Oh, hey, Coach.

What do you think, Coach?

I love it, Coach.

When it's over, I don't want to find myself sorry.

And frightened.

full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

As quickly as you win.

Enjoy yourself.

Enjoy yourself.

It's later than you think.

Enjoy yourself.

It's later than you think.

Enjoy yourself.

While you're still in the thing.

The years go by.

As quickly as you eat Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself It's later

than you think Enjoy yourself It's later than

you think Enjoy