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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,462
� �
2
00:00:06,365 --> 00:00:07,173
(tires screech)
3
00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,791
Come on, Maggie.
4
00:00:08,867 --> 00:00:11,844
(panting)
Hi. Sorry we're late.
5
00:00:11,921 --> 00:00:14,513
This is Maggie.
We're here for our first day.
6
00:00:14,590 --> 00:00:18,008
Hello, Maggie.
And who will be picking her up?
7
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:20,844
W-- A-After she falls down?
8
00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:22,805
No, at the end of the day.
9
00:00:22,881 --> 00:00:24,690
Wait, I don't stay with her?
10
00:00:24,767 --> 00:00:26,934
Research shows
pre-toddlers learn best
11
00:00:27,011 --> 00:00:28,978
in a parent-free environment.
12
00:00:29,054 --> 00:00:31,864
Unless you want to stunt
her growth, which is great.
13
00:00:31,941 --> 00:00:33,941
(quietly):
We're not supposed to judge.
14
00:00:34,018 --> 00:00:36,110
No, no, it's not that.
15
00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:38,529
I just don't want Maggie
to feel abandoned.
16
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,374
(giggling)
17
00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:43,284
So, we'll see you at 4:00.
18
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,995
Oh. Okay, then.
19
00:00:46,071 --> 00:00:49,999
Hmm. Now what will I do
with the rest of my day?
20
00:00:50,075 --> 00:00:53,294
I know.
I'll ask my favorite mommy blog.
21
00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:55,838
Hmm. Hmm.
22
00:00:55,914 --> 00:00:58,340
Now turn that resistance
all the way up!
23
00:00:58,417 --> 00:01:01,802
Come on! I want to see
you bitches suffer!
24
00:01:01,879 --> 00:01:04,013
(cheering)
25
00:01:04,089 --> 00:01:05,639
(quietly): Am I the only one
who heard that?
26
00:01:05,716 --> 00:01:07,049
I love it.
27
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:09,893
It's like being coached
by the voice inside my head.
28
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:13,480
Spin yourselves to death,
you land manatees!
29
00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:15,983
(cheering)
30
00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:18,527
(groans) Mm.
31
00:01:18,604 --> 00:01:19,987
(humming)
32
00:01:20,064 --> 00:01:23,824
Paint harder,
you sausage-fingered no-talents!
33
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:26,076
(cheering)
34
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:28,871
"Sex-prise
your man at work."
35
00:01:28,947 --> 00:01:30,131
Mm... Hmm?
36
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:31,749
What are you doing here?
37
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:36,253
Maybe you could give me
a safety inspection.
38
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,714
Oh, my God, I can't believe
this is happening.
39
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:41,050
I'm so sex-prised!
40
00:01:41,126 --> 00:01:43,719
(quietly): There's security
cameras everywhere,
41
00:01:43,796 --> 00:01:46,680
so we'll have to
snuggle under the desk.
42
00:01:46,757 --> 00:01:48,766
MAN (over speaker): On top of the desk, please.
43
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,933
Oh!
44
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,187
Thanks, Jerry!
Nice. Real cool.
45
00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:57,116
(sighs)
Now how do I fill the day? Hmm.
46
00:01:57,193 --> 00:01:58,817
What's Well Plus Good?
47
00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:00,194
It's pronounced "Well and Good."
48
00:02:00,270 --> 00:02:02,955
Ugh, why is everyone
talking to me?
49
00:02:03,032 --> 00:02:05,124
Well, if all these people
want to work here,
50
00:02:05,201 --> 00:02:07,043
maybe I want to work here.
51
00:02:08,871 --> 00:02:10,796
All right, go to tablet seven
52
00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:13,374
to take your pre-application
ethics assessment.
53
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:14,917
Cool hair, by the way.
54
00:02:14,993 --> 00:02:17,803
You think that my hair is coo?
55
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,756
(chuckles)
Well, thank you, Lauren.
56
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:23,634
Oh, by the way,
your name tag is upside down.
57
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,386
Mm, thank you.
58
00:02:25,462 --> 00:02:27,563
You're the only person
to mention that.
59
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:38,991
Ooh, major mom vibes.
She's perfect.
60
00:02:39,068 --> 00:02:41,902
"I always never lie."
61
00:02:41,979 --> 00:02:45,998
Hmm. Two.
"I sometimes always never lie."
62
00:02:46,075 --> 00:02:49,618
"If I never found a wallet,
I would always give it back."
63
00:02:49,695 --> 00:02:52,046
What color is the wallet?
64
00:02:52,081 --> 00:02:54,832
Marge Simpson.
There was never a test.
65
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,792
Except there always was.
66
00:02:56,869 --> 00:02:59,678
-There wasn't?
-And you passed.
67
00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:02,181
Welcome to
the Well and Good family.
68
00:03:02,258 --> 00:03:05,008
The rest of you can go.
Your r�sum�s will be deleted.
69
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,177
(others grumbling)
70
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,805
I'm the only one you hired?
71
00:03:09,882 --> 00:03:12,683
You're the only one
we partnered with.
72
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,734
Hmm.
73
00:03:15,438 --> 00:03:17,604
Okay, so I work here now.
74
00:03:17,681 --> 00:03:19,481
I never asked what we sell.
75
00:03:19,558 --> 00:03:21,024
I can figure this out.
76
00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:25,538
Hmm. Candy? Bath bombs?
Blowtorches?
77
00:03:25,614 --> 00:03:27,865
$30 bottles of soda?
78
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,041
Uh, excuse me.
79
00:03:29,118 --> 00:03:32,035
Uh, do you recommend
the tincture or the oil?
80
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:35,330
I-- The-the tincture
is more expensive, I guess.
81
00:03:35,407 --> 00:03:37,458
Look, this is about you.
82
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:40,377
And taking care of you.
I think.
83
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:43,964
So you have
to put yourself... first?
84
00:03:44,041 --> 00:03:46,725
Well, your no-frills,
fumbling sales pitch
85
00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:49,803
has won me over.
I'll take both. Yes...
86
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,065
Wow, girl, you just made
a hundred-dollar sale.
87
00:03:53,142 --> 00:03:54,892
You're gonna fit in great here.
88
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:58,020
Thing is, what does here sell?
89
00:03:58,096 --> 00:04:00,230
Is this what RadioShack is now?
90
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,908
Mm, no. We're a high-end
cannabis boutique.
91
00:04:02,985 --> 00:04:05,027
You sell pot?!
92
00:04:05,103 --> 00:04:06,653
Technically, I check I.D.s.
93
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,080
You sell pot.
94
00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:11,158
(gasps)
95
00:04:11,235 --> 00:04:12,993
I'm a drugs dealer!
96
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:15,704
Mm, cannabis is legal
in this state now.
97
00:04:15,781 --> 00:04:17,581
Well, so is water-skiing,
98
00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,758
but that doesn't mean
I have to sell it!
99
00:04:19,835 --> 00:04:21,427
I'm sorry.
100
00:04:22,505 --> 00:04:23,762
Marge, don't leave, seriously.
101
00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:25,589
Like, I'm asking.
102
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,927
Drederick Tatum! (gasps)
I own your countertop grill.
103
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,762
Oh, take care not to use
metal utensils
104
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,272
on the non-stick surfaces.
105
00:04:33,349 --> 00:04:35,891
But anyway, after
my boxing career ended,
106
00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:37,267
I was in a lot of pain.
107
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,944
Specifically,
in my punching hands
108
00:04:39,021 --> 00:04:40,354
and my blocking face.
109
00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:42,948
But following a regimen
of CBD oil
110
00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:45,359
and medicinal hits
from a Pikachu bong,
111
00:04:45,435 --> 00:04:47,694
I was able to enjoy life again.
112
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:51,073
Which inspired me to create
Well and Good Healing Emporiums.
113
00:04:51,149 --> 00:04:55,035
But pot is for Cheeches...
and Chongs.
114
00:04:55,112 --> 00:04:56,295
Marge, it's not about
getting high.
115
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:57,796
It's about wellness.
116
00:04:57,873 --> 00:05:00,799
And that's why I've hand-picked
the perfect team here.
117
00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:02,251
I'm an expert in cannabinoids
118
00:05:02,327 --> 00:05:04,211
and cutting-edge
delivery systems,
119
00:05:04,288 --> 00:05:06,964
aka infusers, decarboxylators,
120
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:09,132
transdermals
and pet suppositories.
121
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,218
And I'm super hot.
122
00:05:11,295 --> 00:05:12,811
And what do you need me for?
123
00:05:12,888 --> 00:05:14,429
Marge, people know
you want to help them,
124
00:05:14,506 --> 00:05:15,889
that it's safe here.
125
00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:17,808
Not some place
for Cheeches and Chongs,
126
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,476
as you so recently put it.
127
00:05:19,529 --> 00:05:22,646
Uh, I'm sorry.
I don't think this is really me.
128
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:25,315
-Good luck with your lifestyle.
-Uh...
129
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:28,827
Oh, it's a shame there's no drug
for hurt feelings.
130
00:05:28,904 --> 00:05:30,788
Oh, wait, there totally is.
131
00:05:32,316 --> 00:05:35,909
(all munching)
132
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:38,504
You know, in some families,
133
00:05:38,581 --> 00:05:40,664
they go around the table
and everyone says
134
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:42,508
one thing they learned that day.
135
00:05:42,585 --> 00:05:45,502
Okay. I learned that.
136
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,255
Well, I learned that
the former heavyweight champion
137
00:05:48,332 --> 00:05:50,966
of the world
owns a marijuana store.
138
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:53,093
And he offered me a job,
which I turned down.
139
00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,303
Wait, what?
140
00:05:54,379 --> 00:05:56,680
I mean, the people
were really cool,
141
00:05:56,691 --> 00:05:58,265
and they thought I was cool,
142
00:05:58,342 --> 00:06:00,851
which made me feel "stoked."
143
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,938
(sighs) But I'm not going to be
a reefer saleslady.
144
00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:06,857
Well, I guess there's nothing
wrong with it.
145
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,693
Cannabis is legal in this state.
146
00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:11,361
Yeah, it's basically
the same thing
147
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,821
as working in a liquor store.
148
00:06:12,898 --> 00:06:15,616
You can work in a liquor store?
149
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,868
-(gasps) Mmm...
-Stay with us, big guy.
150
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,202
Mm...
151
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,788
Wow. I thought you'd be
opposed to it.
152
00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:23,790
People are stressed out
these days.
153
00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,960
Scurvy is back,
there's, like, 60 wars going on.
154
00:06:27,037 --> 00:06:30,505
Whales are eating
our precious ocean plastic.
155
00:06:30,582 --> 00:06:33,258
Maybe people want
to smoke a doob for that.
156
00:06:33,335 --> 00:06:35,894
Oh, yeah, everyone's
selling crap to stoners now.
157
00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:38,305
Have you seen the new
Krusty Burger commercial?
158
00:06:38,382 --> 00:06:41,141
(sitar music playing)
159
00:06:41,218 --> 00:06:44,403
When you've got the munchies, for some reason--
160
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,740
wink, wink-- you crave weird.
161
00:06:47,816 --> 00:06:49,816
A deep-fried rib-wich
162
00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:51,818
served on a warm doughnut.
163
00:06:51,895 --> 00:06:54,413
Or a spaghetti-filled grilled cheese sandwich
164
00:06:54,490 --> 00:06:57,074
drizzled with ranch pudding.
165
00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:02,037
Krusty's Munchie Mouthfuls. It's high time you tried it.
166
00:07:02,114 --> 00:07:05,924
Get it? Get it?!
167
00:07:06,043 --> 00:07:06,833
Get it?
168
00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:09,336
(chuckles)
I get it.
169
00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:12,765
Well, Mr. Tatum
did personally choose me.
170
00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,600
He said I was helpful.
171
00:07:14,677 --> 00:07:17,928
Honey, you're the most
helpful person I've ever met.
172
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,764
Now go sell the safe
legal drugs
173
00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:24,184
our kids should never, ever use!
174
00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,736
-Especially Bart!
-Uh...?
175
00:07:30,191 --> 00:07:32,442
(humming)
176
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,777
Is this an Apple store?
177
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:35,904
Everyone keeps asking that.
178
00:07:35,981 --> 00:07:38,240
I dropped my phone
because of my arthritis.
179
00:07:38,316 --> 00:07:39,792
We can't fix your phone,
180
00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:42,786
but I can sure help
with that arthritis.
181
00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:46,632
Try this amazing
pain-relieving lotion.
182
00:07:46,709 --> 00:07:48,801
Oh. It tingles.
183
00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:51,628
Not like Jergens.
I hate Jergens!
184
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:55,716
You seem stressed. Hmm.
185
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:58,218
Why not try some yummy gummies?
186
00:07:58,295 --> 00:07:59,978
(laughing)
187
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:03,974
Marge, thank you.
When Mother's happy, I'm happy.
188
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,892
Or at least,
much less miserable.
189
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:08,311
This big shot here
is the principal
190
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,939
of a whole school!
(chuckles)
191
00:08:11,016 --> 00:08:13,150
-Show her your key ring.
-(jingles)
192
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,154
(laughing)
193
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,072
Oh, I love it.
194
00:08:19,149 --> 00:08:20,282
� �
195
00:08:20,358 --> 00:08:23,326
(grumbles)
196
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,162
Psst. I want to buy some pot.
197
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,831
All right,
pump the brakes, Jhorts.
198
00:08:27,842 --> 00:08:30,000
Got to ask
a few questions first.
199
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,678
Now, do you want a body high
200
00:08:32,755 --> 00:08:35,130
or a front-of-the-face buzz?
201
00:08:35,207 --> 00:08:37,015
I don't know.
Just hook me up.
202
00:08:37,092 --> 00:08:40,802
Mmm, I have the perfect strain
in mind.
203
00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:42,345
But be warned, boo,
204
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,857
the couch-lock is strong
on this one,
205
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,267
but there's, like,
zero mind-race.
206
00:08:47,344 --> 00:08:49,436
W-What are you saying?
I just want...
207
00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:50,696
(quietly): weed.
208
00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:53,690
Okay, almost there.
Almost there. Now listen.
209
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,150
-Do you want this in flower...
-Yeah.
210
00:08:55,227 --> 00:08:57,152
-...shatter, topical...
-Uh...
211
00:08:57,229 --> 00:08:58,820
-...edible, nasal mist...
-I...
212
00:08:58,897 --> 00:09:02,157
-...ear drops?
-Look, I just want to score
a bag of shwag
213
00:09:02,234 --> 00:09:05,368
from some dude who may
or may not be a cop.
214
00:09:05,403 --> 00:09:06,545
I'm a cop.
215
00:09:06,622 --> 00:09:08,497
Have you tried this?
216
00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,340
Nothing makes sense anymore!
217
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:15,003
Give me a beer.
218
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:15,637
(both gasp)
219
00:09:19,251 --> 00:09:22,302
(scoffs) It doesn't make my hair
smell like anything!
220
00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:25,898
(sighs) I dreamed my whole life
of legalized weed.
221
00:09:25,974 --> 00:09:28,016
Turns out it's a real buzzkill.
222
00:09:28,093 --> 00:09:29,476
Ain't that the truth?
223
00:09:29,553 --> 00:09:30,794
Times have changed.
224
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:34,022
The romance of alcohol
is fading into the past.
225
00:09:34,099 --> 00:09:37,359
Stoners will never know the joy
of sitting on the toilet
226
00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:39,236
and barfing into
your own underwear.
227
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:42,322
Or picking a fight with a guy
twice your size
228
00:09:42,399 --> 00:09:44,825
because his leg
touched your car.
229
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:46,827
Yeah. I miss the old days, too.
230
00:09:46,903 --> 00:09:50,747
When buying pot was...
(sniffles) scuzzy.
231
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:54,042
I'd pay anything
to turn back that clock.
232
00:09:54,119 --> 00:09:55,377
You know what'd be popular?
233
00:09:55,453 --> 00:09:57,003
If one of those legal places
234
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,839
made it feel like
you were scoring weed
235
00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:01,842
from your old-school
pot connection.
236
00:10:01,918 --> 00:10:03,927
That's a great idea,
and we should do it.
237
00:10:03,938 --> 00:10:05,846
Those tie-dyed bong monkeys
238
00:10:05,922 --> 00:10:08,774
will cough up big-time
for the full dirtbag shebang!
239
00:10:08,851 --> 00:10:11,360
I'll alert the bong monkeys.
240
00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:16,949
Afternoon, gernts.
You need some suds?
241
00:10:17,025 --> 00:10:21,111
Duffman knows it's always time
for a refreshing Duff!
242
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,946
Yeah, that being said,
243
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:26,124
sometimes Barry is looking
for a little herbal refreshment.
244
00:10:26,201 --> 00:10:27,450
Know what I mean?
245
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,628
-Right this way, fellas.
-(door squeaks)
246
00:10:29,705 --> 00:10:30,787
� �
247
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,039
(squawking)
248
00:10:33,116 --> 00:10:35,634
(slowly):
So you guys friends of Moe?
249
00:10:35,711 --> 00:10:38,470
Yeah. Uh, these guys are cool.
250
00:10:38,547 --> 00:10:41,923
Whoa, tight.
Come on in, gentlemen.
251
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,135
Oh, wait.
Here's a disclaimer, man.
252
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,645
"This is a legal dispensary,
253
00:10:46,722 --> 00:10:47,971
"compliant with all laws
and statutes.
254
00:10:47,982 --> 00:10:49,264
"As part of the experience,
255
00:10:49,341 --> 00:10:50,974
cast members may pretend
it's illegal."
256
00:10:50,985 --> 00:10:52,934
All right. Shall we?
257
00:10:53,011 --> 00:10:56,646
Hmm. Crazy bird,
rusty free weights,
258
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:59,149
everything smells like
a damp swimsuit...
259
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,775
I'm home.
260
00:11:00,852 --> 00:11:02,327
Who are you supposed to be?
261
00:11:02,404 --> 00:11:05,322
I'm the weird friend
who never acknowledges you.
262
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:09,001
(chuckles) I was that guy
for my old roommate Scott.
263
00:11:09,077 --> 00:11:11,253
Mm-hmm. (humming)
264
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,342
-Mm?
-Mm-mm. Just stick it
in the Band-Aid can.
265
00:11:17,419 --> 00:11:20,253
Wh-- It's all stems and seeds.
266
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,588
-Mm-hmm.
-Thank you.
267
00:11:21,665 --> 00:11:22,839
BOTH:
Mm.
268
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,309
� �
269
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,943
So, with the success
of the Well and Good brand--
270
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:44,986
which, you know, thank God--
271
00:11:45,063 --> 00:11:47,581
I'm so pleased to present
our latest venture...
272
00:11:48,784 --> 00:11:50,450
-(gasping, oohing)
-Werk.
273
00:11:50,527 --> 00:11:52,044
This is The Drederick.
274
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,538
It's a fully realized
cannabis resort and spa.
275
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,374
Now, for our launch event,
276
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,794
we'll be inviting marijuana
influencers from Dave Chapelle
277
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:03,797
to Harrison Ford, who is
flying himself, by the way,
278
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,966
so you know, fingers crossed.
279
00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:07,384
Marge, I was thinking
that you would be
280
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,386
the hostess
of this launch party,
281
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:13,056
acting as the de facto face
of the Well and Good brand.
282
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,809
Oh, my God. Why me?
283
00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:17,402
Well, Marge,
'cause people trust you.
284
00:12:17,479 --> 00:12:19,688
Also, my face
is the intellectual property
285
00:12:19,764 --> 00:12:21,982
of the artist
who created this tattoo.
286
00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:23,400
So, you know, I'm out.
287
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,577
Oh, I'd love to.
288
00:12:25,654 --> 00:12:26,970
This is so exciting, I...
289
00:12:26,972 --> 00:12:29,247
Wait, wait, no.
I wanted to ask you.
290
00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:33,326
But unfortunately, there was
a fly in the CBD ointment.
291
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:36,913
Your husband Homer
is selling weed, Marge.
292
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,833
(gasps)
That's terrible.
293
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:42,460
Wait, no, so am I. We all are.
294
00:12:42,537 --> 00:12:45,097
We are trying to elevate
the image of cannabis.
295
00:12:45,173 --> 00:12:48,883
-This is what he's doing.
-(gasps)
296
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,595
(moans) Oh, he knows how much
self-esteem I get
297
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:53,939
from selling bud.
298
00:12:54,016 --> 00:12:55,849
And that's our good frisbee.
299
00:12:55,925 --> 00:12:59,111
I'm afraid that you cannot
continue with this company
300
00:12:59,187 --> 00:13:03,440
while your husband is taking pot
back to the dark ages of 2018.
301
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,567
-I-I'm very sorry.
-Oh, no. No, no, no.
302
00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:07,235
Please, please don't fire me.
303
00:13:07,312 --> 00:13:09,279
I want to be your face.
304
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,865
When Homer realizes
how much this is hurting me,
305
00:13:11,941 --> 00:13:14,793
I'm sure he'll understand.
306
00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:16,628
I don't understand.
307
00:13:16,705 --> 00:13:19,205
We're doing the same thing,
except you dress like a doctor,
308
00:13:19,324 --> 00:13:21,800
and I dress like a cool toddler.
309
00:13:21,877 --> 00:13:23,209
Don't you get it?
310
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:26,129
I'm a healer,
and you're a dealer.
311
00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:27,756
You need to quit.
312
00:13:27,832 --> 00:13:31,593
I can quit whenever I want.
I just don't want to.
313
00:13:31,669 --> 00:13:33,311
What happened to the quitter
I married?
314
00:13:33,388 --> 00:13:35,263
I quit quitting!
315
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:38,391
-What's going on?
-Mom and Dad are having
a drug war.
316
00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:40,977
-It's not different!
-And you spent $1,000...
317
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,154
I make CNN much funnier!
318
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:48,610
-(humming)
-Homer wouldn't quit.
319
00:13:48,686 --> 00:13:52,113
Here's my smock,
my key to the hash register,
320
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:55,500
my business card
reading "associate."
321
00:13:55,577 --> 00:13:57,786
Instead of being
the face of the company,
322
00:13:57,862 --> 00:14:00,246
my face will just be me.
323
00:14:00,323 --> 00:14:03,541
Wait, Marge. There is one way
to save your job,
324
00:14:03,618 --> 00:14:05,794
but it would entail the betrayal
of your husband,
325
00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:09,514
which I would never
ask you to do.
326
00:14:09,591 --> 00:14:12,517
Well, I mean,
it doesn't hurt to ask.
327
00:14:12,594 --> 00:14:16,012
With your help, we can get
the government to shut him down.
328
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,515
The FBI? The DEA?
329
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,650
The County Health Department.
330
00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:25,688
I don't understand.
What crime is Homer committing?
331
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:26,981
Pot's legal.
332
00:14:27,058 --> 00:14:29,150
Yes, but he isn't
licensed to serve
333
00:14:29,227 --> 00:14:32,987
non-psychotropic edibles,
aka food.
334
00:14:33,064 --> 00:14:35,532
If he offers snacks
to his customers and they eat
335
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,828
even one bite,
we go in and take him down.
336
00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:43,882
So we need you to bait the trap
with these.
337
00:14:43,959 --> 00:14:45,383
Are you in?
338
00:14:45,460 --> 00:14:46,551
(groans softly)
339
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:48,461
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
340
00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:49,838
-HOMER: Nailed it.
-Mm-hmm.
341
00:14:49,914 --> 00:14:52,674
You're the son I never had.
342
00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:55,135
Hey, Homer.
Look who's stopped by over here.
343
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:58,638
I am so sorry
about our little tiff.
344
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:02,901
Will you accept this apology
gift for you and your friends?
345
00:15:02,978 --> 00:15:05,403
Oh, honey.
You're always in my corner.
346
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,147
I have the most loving,
347
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:09,858
supportive, loyal wife
in the world.
348
00:15:09,934 --> 00:15:11,192
(grunts)
349
00:15:11,269 --> 00:15:13,120
-(groans)
-(high-pitched ringing)
350
00:15:13,155 --> 00:15:14,904
(shouts, mutters)
351
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,373
(humming)
352
00:15:20,162 --> 00:15:22,579
If Simpson keeps
eating like this,
353
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:25,748
he'll hit bottom dust
before anyone takes the bait.
354
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:29,219
Come on, you fat bastard, offer
the customer some cheese balls.
355
00:15:31,456 --> 00:15:35,008
And the whole floor
356
00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:36,843
is an air hockey table,
357
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,013
so moving furniture...
358
00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:41,848
is like...
359
00:15:41,925 --> 00:15:42,999
-(shouts)
-Homer!
360
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:46,060
Give your friends
some cheese balls.
361
00:15:46,137 --> 00:15:48,229
-Would anyone care to partake?
-Hmm.
362
00:15:48,306 --> 00:15:49,447
(gasps softly)
363
00:15:49,524 --> 00:15:50,857
(Krusty chuckles)
364
00:15:50,934 --> 00:15:52,033
(both gasp)
365
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,570
Code Orange. Go, go, go!
366
00:15:55,647 --> 00:15:57,697
-Stop eating!
-(Homer shrieks, gasps)
-(pounding on door)
367
00:15:57,774 --> 00:16:00,783
AGENT:
Health Department.
This is a raid.
368
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,210
We got to get rid of the stuff.
369
00:16:05,949 --> 00:16:08,082
Oh, no! Come on!
370
00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:09,009
Oh, God!
371
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:17,050
We got everything we need.
372
00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:18,894
You're shut down, pal.
373
00:16:23,341 --> 00:16:25,391
-(Moe shuddering)
-You, you knew.
374
00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:27,819
-You...
-Set you up.
375
00:16:27,896 --> 00:16:32,407
You're coming with us, scumbag,
to pay a $25 fine.
376
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,492
(moans softly)
377
00:16:38,356 --> 00:16:40,949
(sniffs)
Ah...
378
00:16:41,025 --> 00:16:43,785
Marge, darling,
everything is so perfect.
379
00:16:43,861 --> 00:16:45,620
I hope your husband
wasn't too upset
380
00:16:45,697 --> 00:16:47,747
about the... you know,
the treachery.
381
00:16:47,824 --> 00:16:51,843
Oh, well, Homer is very...
easygoing, so...
382
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,462
(slurring): Excuse me,
can any of these oils or goos
383
00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:56,965
help me with a knife wound?
384
00:16:57,041 --> 00:17:00,802
I have been stabbed,
in the back!
385
00:17:00,878 --> 00:17:04,189
How did you get in?
This is by invitation only.
386
00:17:04,266 --> 00:17:06,599
I said I was
Kevin Smith's father.
387
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,860
No one questioned me.
388
00:17:08,937 --> 00:17:11,363
Homer, control yourself.
389
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:13,365
You're upsetting
the influencers.
390
00:17:13,441 --> 00:17:15,367
They're very easily influenced.
391
00:17:15,443 --> 00:17:18,820
(sighs)
That guy is on alcohol.
392
00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:20,863
Please don't ruin this.
393
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,242
This is cannabinoid health,
and I am its face.
394
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:27,328
(blows raspberry)
Cabana boy health.
395
00:17:27,405 --> 00:17:30,048
If it's so good for you...
396
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:33,876
why have you never
tried pot, ever?
397
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,720
(gasping, coughing)
398
00:17:38,249 --> 00:17:40,892
Well-- does a doctor
need to try insulin
399
00:17:40,969 --> 00:17:43,886
to know that it helps diabetes?
400
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:46,514
Yes. I think she should.
401
00:17:46,591 --> 00:17:48,349
Surprise! The doctor's a woman.
402
00:17:48,426 --> 00:17:49,851
Sexist!
403
00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:52,061
-Oh, yeah.
-Good point.
-That is sexist.
404
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,073
Look, I don't have
a problem with pot.
405
00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:57,075
I can start any time I want.
406
00:17:57,152 --> 00:17:59,152
I'll do some right now.
407
00:17:59,228 --> 00:18:01,362
Perfect. "Serenity."
408
00:18:01,439 --> 00:18:03,290
(grumbles)
409
00:18:06,069 --> 00:18:08,077
See? Nothing.
410
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,830
I'm probably one of those people
it doesn't work on.
411
00:18:10,907 --> 00:18:12,749
I feel like I'm on an elevator
412
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,761
that's going up and down
at the same time.
413
00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:19,431
Something's wrong. You said
this was about wellness,
414
00:18:19,507 --> 00:18:22,100
but I feel high.
415
00:18:22,177 --> 00:18:24,385
Okay, okay, listen.
416
00:18:24,462 --> 00:18:28,598
What you need to understand
is this: I'm high, too!
417
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,683
(laughs)
418
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,611
I'm Serenityed out of my gourd.
419
00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:34,929
(laughs)
420
00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:38,232
-Yeah, baby. (laughs)
-(dance music playing)
421
00:18:38,309 --> 00:18:41,736
I've got to come down.
I've got to eat something.
422
00:18:41,813 --> 00:18:44,906
Um, that was
a chicken pot pot pie.
423
00:18:44,982 --> 00:18:47,700
Oh, no. I ate an eatable.
424
00:18:47,777 --> 00:18:50,578
And you just wiped your mouth
with a Hash-nap,
425
00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:52,288
the most potent thing here.
426
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:54,374
(grunts, gasps)
427
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:55,917
MARGE:
Is this how I always walk?
428
00:18:55,993 --> 00:18:58,753
What do I do with my arms?
Okay, got it.
429
00:18:58,830 --> 00:18:59,962
This is normal.
430
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:03,132
(grunting)
431
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,060
(takes deep breath)
432
00:19:06,554 --> 00:19:08,137
-(screams)
-(knocking on door)
433
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,815
-Hmm? (sighs)
-HOMER: Honey, it's me.
434
00:19:11,843 --> 00:19:12,934
Homie.
435
00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:15,144
You're gonna be okay.
436
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:19,157
In two hours
that will seem like 12.
437
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:21,734
You're so sweet.
438
00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:23,903
And I ratted you out.
439
00:19:23,980 --> 00:19:25,780
No, I get it.
440
00:19:25,857 --> 00:19:27,832
You found a place
that made you feel special,
441
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:29,167
and you didn't want
to lose that.
442
00:19:29,244 --> 00:19:31,744
I still feel weird.
443
00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:34,080
Maybe you'd feel less weird
if I were weird, too.
444
00:19:34,157 --> 00:19:37,008
Here, I'll smoke
one of your futuristic joints.
445
00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:38,584
That's not a doobie!
446
00:19:38,661 --> 00:19:39,669
-Hmm?
-Aah!
447
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,970
(grunting)
448
00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:46,893
-(Marge moans)
-HOMER: Uh-oh.
449
00:19:47,837 --> 00:19:49,095
(people scream)
450
00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:51,764
Oh, man, Dad, what did you do?
451
00:19:51,841 --> 00:19:53,024
(screaming)
452
00:19:53,101 --> 00:19:55,860
Hemp clothes burns like paper!
453
00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:58,863
All wrong, all wrong, all wrong!
454
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:01,032
(psychedelic music playing)
455
00:20:06,281 --> 00:20:08,373
-MARGE: Oops.
-Be cool.
456
00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:10,867
-Mm.
-Cheer up, neck face.
457
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,328
If there's one thing I know,
it's life is nothing but pain.
458
00:20:14,405 --> 00:20:15,955
People will always need guys
459
00:20:16,032 --> 00:20:18,458
like you and me
to get them wasted.
460
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:21,169
Yeah, thanks,
monster man hallucination.
461
00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:23,346
Your words are
a-a great comfort to me.
462
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,176
We'll get through it somehow.
463
00:20:28,252 --> 00:20:31,053
Well, can I come with y...
(sighs)
464
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,064
� �
465
00:20:42,557 --> 00:20:44,984
In reaction to the destructive Drederick blaze
466
00:20:45,061 --> 00:20:46,861
which also destroyed theSign Language Monkey Sanctuary,
467
00:20:46,938 --> 00:20:48,529
the town council has passed an emergency ordinance
468
00:20:48,606 --> 00:20:50,823
outlawing the sale of cannabi.
469
00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:52,492
Without that tax money,
470
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:56,037
Maggie's pre-education center
will have to close.
471
00:20:56,113 --> 00:20:58,298
Aw, man, they were
teaching her Mandarin.
472
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,918
Well, it's probably
for the best.
473
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,095
Even though they say
something's not addictive,
474
00:21:04,172 --> 00:21:06,181
you can still get hooked.
475
00:21:09,085 --> 00:21:11,052
(mouth full):
And you don't want that.
476
00:21:11,128 --> 00:21:13,012
(Bart and Lisa coughing)
477
00:21:22,098 --> 00:21:24,991
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
478
00:21:29,146 --> 00:21:30,830
Shh!
43624
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