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1
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:06,507
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT
2
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:30,764
OH, FUCK!
3
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,624
OH, SHIT!
4
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:05,199
OW! OW! OW! OW!
5
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:13,141
OH!
6
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,776
OH!
7
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,148
OOH! OOH.
8
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,319
JESUS.
9
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:40,134
OOH! OOH! UH. OH, JEEZ.
10
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,817
Crowd: UGH!
11
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,497
Woman: IT HURTS!
12
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,498
OK.
13
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,166
Man, voice-over: I DON'T
SUPPOSE ANYONE REMEMBERS
14
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,702
THE FIRST MOMENT
THEY OPEN THEIR EYES.
15
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:15,503
PUSH.
16
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:16,437
I SURE DON'T.
17
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,307
BUT FOR MY LITTLE
BROTHER ED, I IMAGINE THIS
18
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,542
IS WHAT THE WORLD
LOOKED LIKE.
19
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,345
Doctor: HO HO HO!
LITTLE MAN.
20
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,280
Man, voice-over: BECAUSE THIS IS
HOW HE'D SEE THINGS...
21
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:30,351
ALL THROUGH CHILDHOOD,
ADOLESCENCE, AND INTO ADULTHOOD.
22
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,253
YOU SEE, EVER SINCE HE
WAS STRONG ENOUGH
23
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:36,224
TO LIFT A VIDEO CAMERA, HE'S HAD
ONE PRESSED TO HIS FACE.
24
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,559
HE DIDN'T MIND
WHAT HE WAS VIDEOING
25
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:42,230
AS LONG AS HE WAS VIDEOING.
26
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,304
ED. HEY. I DON'T
THINK WE REALLY NEED
27
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,405
TO RECORD
MR. FIDDLESTICKS
28
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,641
EATING HIS OWN POOP
FOR POSTERITY.
29
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:58,446
Man, voice-over: OK. HE DID GET
SOME FUNNY STUFF, I'LL ADMIT,
30
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,314
BUT HE DIDN'T LIVE LIFE.
31
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:03,884
HE VIEWED IT, THEN
EDITED THE BEST BITS
32
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,387
AND ARCHIVED THEM.
33
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,324
I MEAN, HE WAS BARELY AWARE
OF MONUMENTAL WORLD EVENTS,
34
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,361
BUT HE COULD TELL YOU
THE EXACT DATE
35
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:16,297
COUSIN STEVIE GAVE UP KARATE.
36
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,298
UH!
37
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,667
SURE, THE GUY WAS A NERD,
BUT HE WAS MY BROTHER,
38
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,404
AND I LOVED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS
ALWAYS THERE TO CAPTURE
39
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,639
MY MANY OUTSTANDING
STAGE PERFORMANCES.
40
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:28,542
O YOU THE DOORS
OF BREATH SEALED
41
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,878
WITH A RIGHTEOUS KISS.
42
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,781
Boy: WAY TO GO, BUDDY!
THAT'S IT!
43
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,283
Man, voice-over: AND I HOPED
HE'D GIVE IT UP
44
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,717
WHEN HE WENT TO COLLEGE.
45
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,388
INSTEAD, HE FOUND A WHOLE
NEW WORLD OF FILM.
46
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,422
HEY, ED.
47
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,424
Man, voice-over: BUT HE NEVER
MADE REALLY GOOD USE
48
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,358
OF HIS CAMERA.
49
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,594
UNLIKE HIS ROOMMATE JACK...
50
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,630
OH, JACK! OH!
51
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:52,966
JACK, YOU'RE SO BIG.
OH, SO HOT.
52
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,370
Jack: MMM.
53
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,340
Man, voice-over: HE EVEN HAD THE
DAMN THING PRESSED TO HIS FACE
54
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:02,743
WHEN HE MET HIS
GIRLFRIEND CATHY.
55
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,284
OH, SHIT.
AAH!
56
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:17,425
UH!
57
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:23,531
JESUS. I THINK I HIT
A RETARDED MAN.
58
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,734
Man, voice-over: SOMETIMES
I THINK SHE WAS RIGHT.
59
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,537
AFTER GRADUATION,
THEY MOVED IN TOGETHER,
60
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:33,474
AND ED GOT A JOB IN ADVERTISING.
61
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,779
ACCORDING TO HIS BOSS,
HE WAS A NATURAL.
62
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,348
ED...
63
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,316
YOU ARE A NATURAL,
MY SON.
64
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,452
YOU'VE WON
ANOTHER AWARD.
65
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:47,755
NOW, YOU KEEP THIS UP,
AND I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO
66
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,023
ABOUT GETTING YOU
A CORNER OFFICE.
67
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,659
THANK YOU, FRANK.
68
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,461
GOOD BOY.
69
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:03,103
A 5-BUCK TIP?
5 BUCKS? THAT'S IT?
70
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,073
WAS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH YOUR
SANDWICH, SIR?
71
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:06,974
WAS THE COFFEE COLD?
72
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,410
NO. THE SANDWICH AND
THE COFFEE WERE FINE,
73
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:13,481
BUT I ORDERED
A CHEESEBURGER
AND AN ICED TEA.
74
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,448
I'M SORRY, MAN.
75
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:18,619
YOU NEED ANOTHER 5?
HERE'S 10.
76
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,321
HEY, THANKS A LOT.
77
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,591
HEY, WHAT ARE
BROTHERS FOR?
78
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,559
HEY, I'M GONNA GET
YOU BACK REAL SOON.
I PROMISE, MAN.
79
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:29,697
MY AGENT SAYS I AM
SO CLOSE TO MY FIRST
BIG BREAK.
80
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,500
SHE SAID YOU WERE SO
CLOSE 2 1/2 YEARS AGO.
81
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,734
YEAH, WELL, THAT WAS
2 1/2 YEARS AGO.
82
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:38,706
I HAVE AN AUDITION
FOR A JAPANESE WHISKEY
COMMERCIAL TOMORROW.
83
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:39,807
DO YOU BELIEVE IT?
84
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,775
COOPER, YOU'RE
IN YOUR MID-20s.
85
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,944
YOU'VE BEEN DOING
THIS ACTING THING
FOR WHAT--
86
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:44,912
6 YEARS NOW?
87
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,380
YEAH, GIVE OR TAKE.
88
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,382
I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU MOVED ON,
89
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,384
THOUGHT ABOUT
THE FUTURE,
90
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:53,053
BECOME AN ADULT,
LIKE I HAVE.
91
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,690
Cooper, voice-over: DID I
MENTION HE'D BECOME
92
00:05:56,724 --> 00:06:00,027
A TINY BIT CONDESCENDING?
93
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:05,433
HEY, CATHY, I PICKED UP
YOUR STUFF FROM THE CLEANERS.
94
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,436
CATHY?
95
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,772
CATHY?
96
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,708
PUMPKIN.
97
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,044
ED.
98
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,547
JACK, HI.
99
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,815
HEY.
100
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,717
ARE YOU ILL?
101
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:24,818
UH...
102
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,987
WHERE'S CATHY?
103
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:34,628
CATHY, WHAT'S
GOING ON?
104
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,601
SAY SOMETHING.
105
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,540
ED, I DON'T THINK
WE SHOULD SEE EACH
OTHER ANYMORE.
106
00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,041
WHAT? NO. WHY?
107
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,944
NO. WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
108
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,546
I MEAN, THIS IS
FINE.
109
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:55,182
I MEAN, WE CAN
WORK IT OUT, RIGHT?
110
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,884
I MEAN, A LOT
OF PEOPLE--
111
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,853
JACK, CAN I HAVE
A MOMENT WITH HER?
112
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,923
Jack: OH, YEAH.
SORRY, MAN.
113
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,559
A LOT OF PEOPLE--
114
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:08,629
HAVE...AFFAIRS,
YOU KNOW?
115
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:12,132
IT DOESN'T MEAN
THEY GOT TO
BREAK UP, RIGHT?
116
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:13,200
Cooper, voice-over:
THERE ARE SOME THINGS
117
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,969
I'LL JUST NEVER
UNDERSTAND ABOUT ED.
118
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:20,774
HE COULD FORGIVE CATHY
FOR BLOWING JACK...
119
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:28,482
BUT THEN TOTALLY LOST IT WHEN
HE SAW SHE WAS FILMING IT.
120
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,753
I HELPED HIM THROW OUT
EVERY CAMERA
121
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,489
AND HIS ENTIRE
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE ARCHIVE,
122
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:40,561
AND RATHER THAN GOING ON
A MISSION TO FUCK AS MANY OF
CATHY'S FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE,
123
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:46,534
ED JUST MOVED OUT AND
SWORE HE'D NEVER TOUCH
A VIDEO CAMERA AGAIN.
124
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:57,077
IN AN INSTANT, ED HAD GOTTEN
RID OF CATHY AND HOME VIDEO,
125
00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,080
AND I CAN'T SAY I WAS SORRY
TO SEE EITHER OF THEM GO.
126
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:03,050
I THOUGHT HE'D FINALLY
START EXPLORING LIFE,
127
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,186
HAVING FUN, GETTING PUSSY.
128
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:09,557
BUT HE GOT EVEN MORE
BOTTLED UP THAN BEFORE.
129
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,660
Ed, voice-over: YEAH, WELL,
MY BROTHER COOPER DIDN'T KNOW
130
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,529
IS THAT I WAS LIVING
A NIGHTMARE.
131
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,631
DUDE, SHE IS
GOING CRAZY.
132
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,567
I SHIT YOU NOT.
133
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,701
SHE'S DIGGING
HER NAILS IN.
134
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,069
SHE'S SCREAMING.
SHE'S MOANING.
135
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:26,306
SHE'S LIKE, "OH, DO ME.
DO ME. I FEEL LIKE A WHORE."
136
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,042
Ed, voice-over: AT RANDOM
MOMENTS, SCENES FROM MY ARCHIVES
137
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:31,311
KEPT COMING BACK
INTO MY HEAD.
138
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,147
STOP! STOP! STOP!
139
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,550
SHE'S LIKE,
"UH, UH, UH, UH!"
140
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,185
I'M LIKE,
"GET OFF OF IT."
141
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,554
IT'S LIKE DUST
COMING OUT.
142
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,155
Ed, voice-over:
OR AT THE DOCTOR'S.
143
00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:47,628
Doctor: MR. WAXMAN, YOU MAY
FEEL A LITTLE DISCOMFORT.
144
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:50,063
JUST TRY TO RELAX.
145
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:56,770
Ed, voice-over: EVEN WORSE,
IT AFFECTED ME AT WORK.
146
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:57,805
MR. McINTYRE,
I MUST SAY
147
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,207
THAT WE HERE AT
BARNES, BUTCHER,
LEAVER, MALCHER,
148
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,308
FARQUAR, HIDAGO,
AND ROPER
149
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,944
ARE ONE LUCKY
ADVERTISING AGENCY
150
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:08,649
TO HAVE A CLIENT
AS ENLIGHTENED AS YOURSELF.
151
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,618
AND I'M NOT
JUST SAYING THAT.
152
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:11,451
OH, THANK YOU.
153
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:15,623
IT IS NOTHING
BUT ELEGANT AND CLASSY.
154
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:16,624
THAT WAS YOU.
155
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,126
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I PRESENT TO YOU
YOUR NEW
156
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:23,063
AD CAMPAIGN, WHICH
ROLLS OUT NATIONWIDE
NEXT WEEK.
157
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:26,299
ED, IF YOU'LL DO
THE HONORS.
158
00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:30,738
"WHEN I DIE, I'M LEAVING
159
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,640
"MY COAT TO HER.
160
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:36,710
REAL FUR. IT'S FUR REAL."
161
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:41,381
YEAH!
162
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,184
WHOA, YEAH!
THERE IT IS.
163
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,754
THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.
164
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:47,955
WHOO!
165
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,866
THAT'S RIGHT! YEAH!
166
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,002
WHAT A BUNCH OF ASSHOLES.
167
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,037
DO YOU REALLY THINK
THIS IS GONNA
GET PEOPLE
168
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,106
TO START WEARING
FUR AGAIN?
169
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:09,176
MY QUESTION FALLS INTO THE
"WHO GIVES A FUCK?" CATEGORY.
170
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:12,145
McINTYRE WANTED
THAT SLOGAN, AND IT'S
HIS DAMN MONEY,
171
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,681
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING?
172
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,816
WE'RE HERE TO HELP
PEOPLE SELL
THEIR PRODUCT,
173
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:18,218
NOT JUST AGREE WITH
WHATEVER THEY SAY.
174
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,020
IT'S CALLED KEEPING
THE CLIENT HAPPY.
175
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,155
I KNOW THIS IS
A NEW CONCEPT FOR YOU.
176
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,792
REMIND ME, HOW MANY
HAVE YOU LOST NOW?
177
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:25,826
4? OR IS IT 5?
178
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,695
A BIG AGENCY LIKE
BBLMFH&R
179
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:31,131
CAN HANDLE A COUPLE
OF LOST CLIENTS.
180
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,006
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
181
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:43,677
GREAT BRIDGE INSURANCE
IS WITHDRAWING
ITS ACCOUNT FROM US.
182
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:45,245
OH, SHIT.
183
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:57,357
I GUESS YOU HEARD
THE NEWS, HUH?
184
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,992
NERVOUS?
185
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,729
I HAVE NOTHING TO BE
NERVOUS ABOUT.
186
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,998
I JUST STOPPED BY
TO BRING YOU THIS.
187
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,901
YOU KNOW, JUST A LITTLE
SOMETHING TO SAY
188
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,738
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP ON
THE McINTYRE ACCOUNT.
189
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,907
WOW. UH, THANK YOU.
190
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:17,811
IT'S GREAT. I DIDN'T
MEAN THE WHOLE, UM--
191
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,714
THERE'S NOTHING
IN IT.
192
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,783
OH, THE BOX.
THAT'S THE GIFT.
193
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:26,754
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
NEED SOMETHING TO CLEAR
YOUR DESK INTO ON MONDAY.
194
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,889
YOU'RE NOT MY BOSS.
YOU CAN'T FIRE ME.
195
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:32,392
ED, CAN I, UH,
SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE?
196
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,100
ED, WHEN I FIRST
HIRED YOU,
197
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,869
YOU WERE LIKE A DYNAMO.
198
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,904
YOU HAD AN UNUSUAL WAY
OF LOOKING AT LIFE,
199
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,238
AND I LIKED THAT.
200
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:48,208
BUT AFTER YOUR INTENDED
DID THE DIRTY ON YOU,
THINGS HAVE GOTTEN--
201
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,478
I NEVER LET THAT
AFFECT MY WORK, FRANK.
202
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,847
WELL, LET'S SEE,
SHALL WE?
203
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,148
SKECHERS SHOES--
204
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:59,519
"PERFECT FOR KICKING
A MAN WHEN HE'S DOWN."
205
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,221
KAHN'S ANTISEPTIC--
206
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,455
"NOT SO GOOD FOR WHEN
207
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,524
"SHE'S RIPPED YOUR HEART
OUT OF YOUR CHEST
208
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,159
AND THROWN IT
IN THE TRASH."
209
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,528
YEAH, BUT THEY'RE NOT
ALL LIKE THAT.
210
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,964
HERE. LOOK.
211
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:15,268
PACIFIC RIM TELEPHONE,
ONLY 3 CENTS A MINUTE.
212
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:16,770
ONLY 3 CENTS A MINUTE.
213
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:19,406
"THE LEAST SHE COULD DO
IS RETURN HIS CALLS.
214
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:22,542
"HE ONLY WANTED TO MAKE
SURE SHE WAS OK.
215
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,945
"WE CAN STILL
MAKE IT WORK.
216
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,947
JUST CALL FOR 3 CENTS
A MINUTE."
217
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,982
SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
218
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,284
YOU'RE FIRED.
219
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:34,354
AAH!
220
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:40,794
OK. WHAT IF I MAKE
GREAT BRIDGE STAY?
221
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,830
WHAT IF I COME UP
WITH A CAMPAIGN
222
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:43,864
THAT'LL WIN THEM BACK?
223
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,133
WE HAVE HAD
THE WHOLE CREATIVE
DEPARTMENT ON THIS
224
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,067
FOR 6 MONTHS.
225
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,270
YOU THINK YOU CAN
TURN IT AROUND
BY MONDAY?
226
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,072
MONDAY?
227
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,308
YEAH.
228
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,277
YEAH. I'M GONNA
MAKE THEM STAY.
229
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,813
I'M GONNA COME UP
WITH A CAMPAIGN.
230
00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:01,481
IF YOU DO THAT,
231
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,184
YOU CAN NOT ONLY
KEEP YOUR JOB,
232
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,020
YOU CAN HAVE
THIS OFFICE.
233
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,991
I'M NOT GONNA
LET YOU DOWN.
234
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,226
Man: WHERE ARE YOU
PUTTING THIS?
235
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,562
Different man:
ROGER'S OFFICE.
236
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,465
HEY. HEY, HEY,
PUT IT DOWN.
237
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:21,935
PUT IT DOWN.
I'M ON THE PAYROLL.
238
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,238
THEY TOOK MY COAT.
239
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,045
OH, HO HO.
240
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,152
OOH.
241
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:33,006
HEY.
242
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,447
IT'S, UH, DEAD
ANIMALS IN THE SHAFT.
243
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,915
WHAT ANIMALS?
244
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:46,353
UH, RATS OR MICE, CATS.
245
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,187
CATS. AHEM.
246
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,490
THE CATS GO IN
AFTER THE MICE AND RATS,
247
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,460
AND THEN THEY GET STUCK,
AND THEY STARVE
AND DIE.
248
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,596
THEN THEY DECOMPOSE,
AND THE ROTTING FLESH
RELEASES
249
00:14:56,629 --> 00:15:00,033
THE OFFENDING ODOR
THAT YOU'RE SMELLING NOW.
250
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,935
I SEE.
251
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:06,039
TRY BREATHING
THROUGH YOUR MOUTH.
252
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,380
"TRY BREATHING
THROUGH YOUR MOUTH"?
253
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,116
COULD THIS DAY SUCK
ANY MORE?
254
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,318
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
255
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,121
OH. OH, SHIT!
256
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:22,122
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
257
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:22,822
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
258
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,224
I WANTED TO
SURPRISE YOU, HUH?
259
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,192
WHAT, BY BLINDING ME?
260
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,195
OH, COME ON. THAT'S WHAT
BIG BROTHERS ARE FOR.
261
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,396
SIT DOWN.
NOW COME ON.
262
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,631
I GOT SOME
PRESENTS FOR YOU.
WE'RE ALL SET.
263
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,401
OPEN IT UP.
OPEN IT UP.
264
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,706
IT'S THE BOTTLE
OF GLEN KYOTO. THAT'S...
265
00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:42,109
HEY, YOU KNOW IT.
266
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,180
LOOK AT THIS. WOW.
267
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:50,317
THAT'S A GLEN KYOTO
T-SHIRT.
268
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,452
OH, AND THIS GREAT
PIECE OF ARTWORK.
269
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,554
WOW. THAT'S A GLEN
KYOTO ASHTRAY.
270
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:55,722
OF COURSE.
THAT'S UNCANNY
271
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,525
BECAUSE JUST TODAY
I WAS THINKING ABOUT
TAKING UP SMOKING,
272
00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,226
SO...
273
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,061
CALL THAT BROTHERLY
INTUITION.
274
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,162
THANK YOU, BUDDY.
275
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,230
OH, DON'T THANK ME.
276
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:07,600
THANK THE NUMBER-ONE-
SELLING JAPANESE
RICE WHISKEY
277
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,235
IN THE WORLD.
278
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:09,669
PUTS A ROOF
OVER OUR HEAD
279
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,005
AND TASTES
DELICIOUS, RIGHT?
280
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,141
OH, HEY, THIS CAME
FOR YOU.
281
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:17,644
OH, YEAH. FAN MAIL.
282
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,680
OH, MY GOD.
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE
TO HAVE THAT
283
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,215
WRAPPED AROUND
YOUR COCK, HUH?
284
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:27,087
OH. DIRTY, DIRTY.
BUT I'D DO HER.
WOULD YOU DO HER?
285
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,090
YOU'D DEFINITELY
DO HER. COME ON.
286
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,425
OH!
OH.
287
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,561
FAT MAN IN LITTLE
PANTIES.
288
00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,529
OH, THAT ONE'S WORSE.
289
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,597
OH, HEY, I NEARLY
FORGOT.
290
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,432
I GOT YOU
ONE MORE PRESENT.
291
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,269
* BA BA DA BA
292
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,471
WELL, WHAT
DO YOU THINK?
293
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,740
HUH? COME ON. THIS
THING IS THE VERY
LATEST.
294
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,109
I SWEAR TO GOD, MAN.
295
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,211
YOU COULD SHOOT
A CUM SHOT
296
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,447
FROM A MILE AWAY
WITH THIS THING.
297
00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:58,818
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
298
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,019
YOU KNOW MY PROMISE--
299
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,755
I WILL NEVER FILM
ANOTHER INCH OF HOME
VIDEO FOOTAGE AGAIN.
300
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,458
ED, IT'S BEEN
OVER A YEAR SINCE
CATHY DUMPED YOU.
301
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:08,595
SHE DIDN'T DUMP ME.
IT WAS MUTUAL.
302
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:13,133
OH! UH! SHIT!
303
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,235
ED, YOU LOVE
HOME VIDEO, MAN.
304
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,270
I MEAN, DON'T YOU
THINK IT'S TIME
YOU GOT OVER HER
305
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,507
AND THAT STUPID
LITTLE PROMISE?
306
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,575
HEY, ED, COME ON, MAN.
307
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,144
THIS THING'S PERFECT.
308
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:24,844
I GOT WORK TO DO.
309
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,012
COME ON, MAN.
I TELL YOU WHAT.
310
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,616
CATHY AND JACK WOULD
BE HAPPY TO HAVE
A CAMERA LIKE THIS.
311
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,719
Cooper:
WAIT A MINUTE. ED.
312
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,555
HEY, ED. ED,
WAIT A MINUTE, MAN.
313
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,091
YOU GOT TO GO OUT.
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.
314
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,127
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE
A RAIN CHECK ON THAT.
315
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,194
BUT IT'S YOUR
BIRTHDAY.
316
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,430
YOU GOT TO GO OUT.
IT'S THE LAW.
317
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,165
I HAVE TO WORK,
OR I'M TOAST.
318
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,133
Cooper:
WE'LL GO TO GONEGAN'S.
319
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,468
WE'LL HAVE A QUIET
DRINK BETWEEN TWO BROTHERS.
320
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,536
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
321
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,370
NO. I CAN'T.
322
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,871
HEY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
ACHIEVE ANYTHING
323
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,274
STARING AT THESE
4 WALLS.
324
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:56,376
ART IMITATES LIFE,
RIGHT?
325
00:17:56,409 --> 00:18:00,113
AND YOU NEED A LIFE.
COME ON.
326
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,615
HA HA. THAT-A BOY.
327
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,318
COME ON.
THIS WILL BE FUN.
328
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,296
YOU NEVER TOLD ME.
HOW WAS THAT AUDITION?
329
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,464
I DIDN'T GET
A CALL-BACK.
330
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,699
NO WAY! DID THEY
GIVE YOU A REASON?
331
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,702
I DIDN'T TECHNICALLY
MAKE IT TO THE AUDITION.
332
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:23,803
GOT A LITTLE
SIDETRACKED,
333
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,738
IF YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.
334
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,241
OH, JEEZ.
335
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,478
ISN'T GONEGAN'S
TO THE RIGHT?
336
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,247
OH, YEAH. JUST GOT TO
QUICKLY PICK UP
A COUPLE OF FRIENDS.
337
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,249
I THOUGHT THIS WAS
JUST GONNA BE
THE TWO OF US.
338
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:40,153
IT IS. THE TWO OF US
AND A COUPLE OF GIRLS.
339
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:40,987
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
340
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,623
WHAT? COME ON.
YOU'LL LOVE THESE GIRLS.
341
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:44,791
THEY'RE TOTAL SWEETIES.
342
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:48,495
AND SUSIE IS DEFINITELY
YOUR TYPE.
343
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:50,230
COOPIE.
344
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:52,265
HI, JO.
345
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:59,206
UH, SUSIE, THIS IS
MY BROTHER ED.
346
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,240
HELLO.
347
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,275
HI.
348
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:06,613
UM, I GOT TO GO
FINISH MY MAKEUP.
349
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,283
COOPIE, WILL YOU
COME WITH ME?
350
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:14,321
IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY.
351
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,531
UH, SHOULD WE OPEN THIS?
352
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:28,401
DON'T BOTHER. WE
ALREADY GOT ONE OPEN.
353
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,842
THERE YOU GO.
354
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,810
THANK YOU.
355
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,719
IT'S DELICIOUS.
356
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,859
Jo: OH, I'M
A WHORE. YEAH.
357
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,895
AHEM. UH...
358
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:58,665
Jo: SPANK ME.
359
00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,899
SPANK ME, DADDY.
360
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,435
Cooper: OH! OH, YEAH.
361
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,337
SO, WHAT DO YOU DO?
362
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,972
I'M A NURSE.
363
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,007
WOW. THAT'S
A TOUGH JOB.
364
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,609
SO FEW PEOPLE
ARE REALLY MAKING
365
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,311
A DIFFERENCE
IN THE WORLD,
366
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,044
AND LOOK AT YOU.
367
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,247
YOU'RE OUT THERE
CURING ILLNESSES
368
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:17,350
AND HEALING INJURIES
AND SAVING LIVES.
369
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:21,254
I WORK IN
AN ABORTION CLINIC.
370
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:21,954
OH!
371
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:31,498
RIGHT. SO...
372
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,300
WHOO.
373
00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:36,836
SO, SUSIE, WAS ED
HERE TELLING YOU
374
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,471
THAT HE'S
AN AWARD-WINNING
375
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:41,341
ADVERTISING
EXECUTIVE SUPREMO?
376
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:44,010
THE KID'S A DYNAMO.
377
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,547
HMM?
378
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,418
OOPS.
379
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,019
OH.
380
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:02,429
WHO'S HUNGRY?
381
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,735
Cooper: AND SO ED RUNS
8 MILES--
382
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,337
AND I'M NOT TALKING
YOUR AVERAGE
383
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:11,671
"OVER THE RIVER
AND THROUGH THE WOODS"
HERE, LADIES.
384
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:16,042
OH, NO. I'M TALKING
THE MOST TREACHEROUS
TERRAIN
385
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,444
YOU CAN POSSIBLY
IMAGINE.
386
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,679
I'M TALKING JUMPING
OVER SNAKE PITS.
387
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:24,317
I'M TALKING ABOUT
THIS MAN WAS CHASED
BY WOLVES,
388
00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:25,752
JUST TO FIND SOMEBODY
WITH A PHONE
389
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,355
TO THEN CALL THE AIRBORNE
FOREST RANGERS,
390
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,523
WHO ARRIVED JUST
IN THE NICK OF TIME
391
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:34,394
TO SAVE THE ENTIRE
BOY SCOUT TROOP.
392
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:38,498
HAD IT NOT BEEN
FOR MY BROTHER'S
GREAT DETERMINATION
393
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:43,470
AND SHEER HEROISM,
THEY MAY HAVE ALL DIED.
394
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:46,038
YOU'RE A GENUINE
HERO.
395
00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,441
IS ALL THAT TRUE?
396
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:52,979
COOPER MAY BE
EXAGGERATING A BIT.
397
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:56,383
THE BUS ACTUALLY
DROVE OFF THE ROAD
398
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:57,717
TO AVOID HITTING ME.
399
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:01,421
BUT HE DID RUN
8 MILES.
400
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,321
I MEAN, CAN YOU
IMAGINE?
401
00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:06,393
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.
IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.
402
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,461
THEY WERE FOUND
BY A PASSING HIKER,
403
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,662
AND THEN HE CALLED OUT
THE FOREST RANGERS,
404
00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:14,133
AND THEN THEY CAME
IN HELICOPTERS, ACTUALLY,
AND FOUND ME.
405
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,503
NOW, THE POINT
HERE IS, LADIES,
406
00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:19,706
THAT EVERYONE
WAS SAVED.
407
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,007
Ed: YES.
408
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,109
THERE YOU GO.
409
00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:25,712
EXCEPT THE GUY
WHO LOST HIS LEGS.
410
00:22:25,745 --> 00:22:28,715
THERE WAS A GUY WHO
LOST HIS LEGS.
411
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:30,717
Cooper: FOOD!
412
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:31,484
OUTSTANDING.
413
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:34,053
LADIES, LET'S
GET IT ON HERE, HUH?
414
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:35,755
THE NIGHT IS YOUNG.
415
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,657
DRINK IT UP AND ENJOY.
416
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:38,658
ALL RIGHT, SUSIE,
LET'S GO.
417
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,160
YOU KNOW THE GAME.
STRIP COASTERS.
LET'S DO IT.
418
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,430
THE TOP COMES OFF.
419
00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:45,031
OK.
420
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:47,467
GOT IT.
421
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,802
GOOD CATCH.
LUCKY YOU.
422
00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:50,970
THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
423
00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:51,771
OK, YOUR TURN.
424
00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:52,772
Cooper: ALL RIGHT, EDDIE.
YOU'RE UP.
425
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:56,976
COME ON, NOW, BUDDY.
SHOW HER YOU'RE AN ATHLETE.
426
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:09,121
HE SHOOTS.
HE SCORES! HUH?
427
00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:13,660
EXCELLENT SHOT.
DID YOU SEE THAT?
428
00:23:19,466 --> 00:23:20,600
AHEM.
429
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,703
WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME
FOR A MOMENT?
430
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:24,771
WHERE'S THE MEN'S ROOM?
431
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:27,474
Cooper: IT'S
IN THE BACK THERE.
432
00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:29,175
AHEM. RIGHT OR LEFT?
433
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:32,479
JUST FOLLOW YOUR NOSE.
434
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:34,447
GOOD LUCK.
435
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:48,695
OH, NO.
436
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:05,177
OHH.
437
00:24:06,513 --> 00:24:08,214
OH.
438
00:24:15,655 --> 00:24:18,224
OH, IT BURNS.
439
00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:29,636
No.
440
00:24:37,043 --> 00:24:39,679
I CAN'T WIPE
WITH THAT.
441
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,312
OH, HEY, HEY, BROTHER.
442
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:16,315
HEY, LISTEN, DO YOU MIND
IF YOU TAKE SUSIE HOME?
443
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:17,183
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
444
00:25:17,216 --> 00:25:19,118
JO'S NOT FEELING WELL.
445
00:25:19,151 --> 00:25:20,219
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
446
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:21,320
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE,
447
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,122
BUT I BETTER
TAKE HER HOME
448
00:25:23,155 --> 00:25:23,956
AND TAKE HER
TEMPERATURE--
449
00:25:23,990 --> 00:25:27,694
VAGINALLY,
WITH MY FLESH
THERMOMETER.
450
00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:30,697
SUSIE'S TOTALLY INTO
YOU, BY THE WAY.
451
00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:34,701
HEY, MAN.
LOOK ALIVE.
452
00:25:34,734 --> 00:25:37,269
HAVE SOME FUN.
453
00:25:37,303 --> 00:25:38,404
LADIES!
454
00:25:38,437 --> 00:25:41,708
JO, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE, HUH?
455
00:25:41,741 --> 00:25:42,541
Jo: I AM READY
FOR DESSERT.
456
00:25:42,575 --> 00:25:46,713
OH, YEAH,
AND SPANKING'S
ON THE MENU.
457
00:25:56,789 --> 00:25:57,824
CAN I WALK YOU HOME?
458
00:25:57,857 --> 00:26:03,596
SURE, BUT I DON'T
WANT YOU TO GET
THE WRONG IDEA.
459
00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:05,698
I'M NOT THAT
KIND OF GIRL.
460
00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:08,701
DON'T YOU THINK
THERE'S SOMETHING
JUST SO SEXY
461
00:26:08,735 --> 00:26:10,102
ABOUT THE CITY
AT NIGHT?
462
00:26:10,136 --> 00:26:11,203
THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT KNOWING
463
00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:14,674
THAT THOUSANDS OF
PEOPLE ALL AROUND US
ARE DOING IT.
464
00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:17,610
OLD PEOPLE,
MARRIED FOLKS,
465
00:26:17,644 --> 00:26:20,079
ADULTERERS,
TEENAGERS,
466
00:26:20,112 --> 00:26:22,915
VIRGINS LOSING IT
FOR THE FIRST TIME,
467
00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:24,350
ALL ENJOYING THE
INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE
468
00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:26,786
OF EACH OTHER'S
HOT BODIES.
469
00:26:26,819 --> 00:26:29,255
SHH. IF YOU'RE
REALLY QUIET,
470
00:26:29,288 --> 00:26:31,190
YOU CAN ALMOST
HEAR THE RHYTHMIC
SOUND
471
00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:33,760
OF ALL THAT SEX
GOING ON.
472
00:26:33,793 --> 00:26:37,296
MAKES YOU THINK,
DOESN'T IT?
473
00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:41,701
YEAH. WELL, IT WAS
REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU.
474
00:26:41,734 --> 00:26:44,904
UM, GOOD LUCK
WITH EVERYTHING.
475
00:26:48,107 --> 00:26:49,141
LOSER.
476
00:26:54,814 --> 00:26:56,883
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
477
00:26:56,916 --> 00:26:58,718
I LIVE HERE.
WHERE SHOULD I BE?
478
00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:00,319
6 INCHES
INSIDE SUSIE.
479
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:03,690
SHE WAS MY FINAL
BIRTHDAY PRESENT
TO YOU.
480
00:27:03,723 --> 00:27:04,691
WHAT?
481
00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:06,258
A BIRTHDAY PRESENT
482
00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:07,126
FROM ME TO YOU.
483
00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:09,762
A GIRL THAT DOESN'T
KNOW HOW TO SAY NO.
484
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:12,832
SHE SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME
SHE WASN'T INTERESTED.
485
00:27:12,865 --> 00:27:13,766
ALL WOMEN SAY THAT.
486
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,068
IT'S JUST A HOOP
THEY MAKE YOU JUMP THROUGH.
487
00:27:16,102 --> 00:27:19,305
OH, MAN. I CANNOT BELIEVE
YOU DIDN'T DO HER.
488
00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:22,374
YOU KNOW, SHE'S
FUCKED EVERYONE.
489
00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:23,843
IF YOU DON'T GET
SOME ACTION SOON,
490
00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:25,812
YOU COULD DIE OF DSB.
491
00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:26,679
DSB?
492
00:27:26,713 --> 00:27:29,248
DANGEROUS SPERM
BUILDUP.
493
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,455
YOU THINK I HAVEN'T
BEEN TRYING?
494
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,157
I MEAN, I KEEP
STRIKING OUT.
495
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,125
I'M CRAP WITH WOMEN.
496
00:27:39,158 --> 00:27:40,092
Cooper: THEN LET ME
HELP YOU.
497
00:27:40,126 --> 00:27:43,763
I'M SERIOUS.
LET ME HELP YOU.
LET ME HELP YOU.
498
00:27:43,796 --> 00:27:44,430
I HAVE TO WORK.
499
00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:45,932
I CAN WORK
AROUND YOUR WORK.
500
00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:48,334
I'M SPENDING THIS
WEEKEND AT THE OFFICE.
501
00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:50,970
COME ON. I CAN BE
YOUR DOCTOR OF LOVE.
502
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:52,905
I CAN BE YOUR
FEELGOOD PROFESSOR.
503
00:27:52,939 --> 00:27:53,973
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING.
504
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:56,976
I WILL BE YOUR
PALLBEARER OF PUSSY.
505
00:27:57,009 --> 00:28:00,012
I CAN BE YOUR
PSYCHIATRIST
OF SNATCH,
506
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:01,814
GIVE YOU THE BIBLE
OF BOOTY, BUDDY.
507
00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:04,016
IT'LL BE FANTASTIC.
YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
508
00:28:04,050 --> 00:28:05,317
YOU KNOW THAT.
AND I'LL HELP YOU.
509
00:28:05,351 --> 00:28:06,719
I'LL SHOW YOU.
IT'S A DEAL.
510
00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:08,821
I KNOW IT IS.
YOU WANT TO MAKE
THIS DEAL.
511
00:28:08,855 --> 00:28:09,822
YOU NEED THIS.
512
00:28:09,856 --> 00:28:11,423
STOP!
513
00:28:11,457 --> 00:28:15,895
FINE, BUT THIS CANNOT
INTERFERE WITH MY WORK.
514
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:17,897
ALL RIGHT.
515
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,233
IT'S A DEAL.
HO HO HO!
516
00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:25,071
YOU'RE GONNA GET LAID
THIS WEEKEND, BUDDY.
517
00:28:34,914 --> 00:28:36,849
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
518
00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:39,819
COOP, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
519
00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:41,020
WHEN WILLIAM
THE CONQUEROR
520
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:43,222
LANDED ON THE ENGLISH
SHORES IN 1066,
521
00:28:43,255 --> 00:28:46,826
HE HAD HIS INVADING ARMY
DESTROY THEIR OWN BOATS.
522
00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:50,329
HE WANTED THEM TO KNOW
THAT THERE WAS NO GOING BACK.
523
00:28:50,362 --> 00:28:52,398
THEY WERE EITHER GOING
TO CONQUER ENGLAND,
524
00:28:52,431 --> 00:28:56,035
OR THEY WERE GONNA
DIE TRYING.
525
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:58,437
WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
526
00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:03,209
ED, WE'RE THROWING AWAY
YOUR PORN.
527
00:29:03,976 --> 00:29:05,177
I DON'T HAVE
ANY PORN.
528
00:29:05,211 --> 00:29:08,848
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
I HAVE PORN?
529
00:29:08,881 --> 00:29:10,950
ALL RIGHT, I GOT
A MAGAZINE LYING
530
00:29:10,983 --> 00:29:11,784
AROUND SOMEWHERE,
MAYBE.
531
00:29:11,818 --> 00:29:15,187
I MEAN, FINE.
WE CAN THROW
THAT AWAY.
532
00:29:15,221 --> 00:29:17,356
OK. OK.
533
00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:19,458
WELL, AT LEAST
THIS EXPLAINS WHY
534
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:23,395
WE SPENT 4,000
A MONTH ON TISSUES.
535
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:26,532
OH, CHECK IT OUT.
FIRST TARGETS
OF THE DAY.
536
00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:27,599
NOW BE COOL.
537
00:29:27,633 --> 00:29:30,870
HEY, LADIES. WHAT
ARE TWO BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN LIKE YOU
538
00:29:30,903 --> 00:29:32,872
DOING IN A DUMP
LIKE THIS, HUH?
539
00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:35,875
Ed: WE'RE THROWING
OUT THE TRASH.
540
00:29:42,414 --> 00:29:44,884
WELL, I DON'T SUPPOSE
ANY OF THAT
541
00:29:44,917 --> 00:29:47,386
TURNS YOU LADIES ON.
542
00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:51,023
RUG MUNCHERS.
543
00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:51,824
I'LL CATCH YOU LATER.
544
00:29:51,858 --> 00:29:53,492
Cooper: OH, HEY,
WAIT A MINUTE, MAN.
545
00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:55,261
I THOUGHT
WE HAD A DEAL.
546
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:56,028
YES, AND
THE DEAL WAS,
547
00:29:56,062 --> 00:29:57,897
IT HAS TO FIT
AROUND MY SCHEDULE.
548
00:29:57,930 --> 00:29:59,231
HEY, AND I COMPLETELY
STAND BY THAT,
549
00:29:59,265 --> 00:30:03,302
BUT IT IS SATURDAY
MORNING, THE PERFECT TIME
TO PICK UP WOMEN, MAN.
550
00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:05,371
I MEAN, THEIR
DEFENSES ARE DOWN,
551
00:30:05,404 --> 00:30:06,973
AND I KNOW A PLACE
WHERE THE WOMEN
552
00:30:07,006 --> 00:30:11,543
ARE ESPECIALLY VULNERABLE
TO OUR LICENTIOUS ADVANCES.
553
00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:18,851
Cooper: AND VOILA--
ATTRACTIVE SINGLE
MOTHERS
554
00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:21,153
ON A BEAUTIFUL
SATURDAY
MORNING, HUH?
555
00:30:21,187 --> 00:30:21,854
ARE YOU KIDDING?
556
00:30:21,888 --> 00:30:23,856
AS IF SINGLE
MOTHERS DON'T HAVE
557
00:30:23,890 --> 00:30:24,991
ENOUGH CRAP TO
DEAL WITH,
558
00:30:25,024 --> 00:30:26,125
THEY GOT TO BE
USED AND ABUSED
BY YOU?
559
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:29,228
HEY, US. LOOK,
SINGLE MOTHERS ARE
AT THEIR SEXUAL PEAK.
560
00:30:29,261 --> 00:30:30,562
THEY DON'T HAVE
A MAN IN THEIR LIVES,
561
00:30:30,596 --> 00:30:32,865
AND THEY CAN'T FIND ONE,
BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO BUSY
562
00:30:32,899 --> 00:30:35,034
LOOKING AFTER
THEIR LITTLE ANKLE-BITER.
563
00:30:35,067 --> 00:30:37,069
WE'RE DOING THEM
A FAVOR.
564
00:30:38,104 --> 00:30:39,171
OH, THERE'S ONE. LOOK.
565
00:30:39,205 --> 00:30:43,509
SHE'S HOT, SHE'S RIPE,
AND NOT A BOYFRIEND
IN SIGHT.
566
00:30:43,542 --> 00:30:45,878
GO ON. GO, GO,
GO, GO. GO.
567
00:30:45,912 --> 00:30:47,046
AHEM.
568
00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:48,948
Woman: DON'T BE NERVOUS,
THOUGH, OK?
569
00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:52,018
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS,
JUST SAY SO.
570
00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:55,054
HI. HELLO THERE.
571
00:30:55,087 --> 00:30:59,025
DO YOU LIKE RIDING?
IT'S QUITE IMPRESSIVE.
572
00:30:59,058 --> 00:31:00,292
WHAT A BEAST, HUH?
573
00:31:00,326 --> 00:31:01,160
WHEN I WAS
A LITTLE BOY,
574
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:05,064
I USED TO DREAM
OF HAVING ONE LIKE THAT.
575
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,068
WHAT IS IT, TOO BIG?
576
00:31:09,101 --> 00:31:12,371
BECAUSE PERSONALLY,
I THINK THE BIGGER,
THE BETTER.
577
00:31:12,404 --> 00:31:13,672
YOU KNOW, IT'S FINE
AS LONG AS YOU DO
578
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:16,542
SOME STRETCHING BEFOREHAND.
579
00:31:16,575 --> 00:31:18,144
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD HANDLE THAT.
580
00:31:18,177 --> 00:31:19,912
YOU SICK BASTARD.
581
00:31:19,946 --> 00:31:22,048
WHAT? I'M JUST--
582
00:31:22,081 --> 00:31:23,549
NO. NO. I WOULDN'T--
583
00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:25,952
DON'T--DON'T--
584
00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:28,020
THIS MAN
IS A PERVERT!
585
00:31:33,425 --> 00:31:36,062
THOSE FAT BASTARDS
WILL NEVER GET US!
586
00:31:36,095 --> 00:31:36,929
YEAH, RIGHT.
587
00:31:49,075 --> 00:31:51,077
GO IN.
588
00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:56,415
I'M GONNA HAVE
A HEART ATTACK.
589
00:31:56,448 --> 00:31:58,050
HOO HOO HOO!
590
00:31:58,084 --> 00:32:00,186
OH, THAT WAS FUN,
HUH, BUDDY?
591
00:32:00,219 --> 00:32:02,221
I DON'T KNOW WHY
WE HAD TO RUN AWAY.
592
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:03,990
I MEAN, WE COULD
HAVE JUST SIMPLY
593
00:32:04,023 --> 00:32:04,890
EXPLAINED IT.
594
00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,725
HEY, YOU DON'T SIMPLY
EXPLAIN TO COPS, OK?
595
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,995
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE
ACCUSED OF AN ALLEGED
SEX CRIME
596
00:32:09,028 --> 00:32:12,664
INVOLVING A HORSE COCK
AND A PRETTY LITTLE GIRL
IN POWDER BLUE.
597
00:32:12,698 --> 00:32:16,969
RUNNING AWAY DOESN'T
MAKE US LOOK
ANY MORE INNOCENT.
598
00:32:17,003 --> 00:32:19,638
LET'S GO.
IT'S 12:00.
599
00:32:19,671 --> 00:32:22,541
I HAVEN'T EVEN
THOUGHT ABOUT WORK,
ALL RIGHT?
600
00:32:22,574 --> 00:32:26,012
I'M GONNA SEE YOU
AT THE--OH, NO.
601
00:32:26,045 --> 00:32:30,616
WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?
602
00:32:30,649 --> 00:32:34,020
THAT'S SIMONE,
THE SUPERMODEL.
603
00:32:34,053 --> 00:32:36,088
HER OBITUARY
WAS IN THE PAPER.
604
00:32:36,122 --> 00:32:39,391
NOW, WHY WOULD GOD
TAKE THE LIFE OF ONE
SO HOT
605
00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:44,030
WHEN THERE ARE ALREADY
SO MANY UGLY PEOPLE
LITTERING THIS PLANET?
606
00:32:44,063 --> 00:32:45,998
OK, COME ON. LET'S GO.
607
00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:49,268
AW, IT'S A DAMN
SHAME, ED.
608
00:32:52,571 --> 00:32:57,009
HOLY STEAMING
VAGINA KETTLE.
609
00:32:59,745 --> 00:33:01,380
ED, YOU CAN'T
LEAVE NOW.
610
00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:06,218
WE HAVE HOT WOMEN,
DEPRESSED AND
IN MOURNING.
611
00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:08,354
THIS IS A ONCE-
IN-A-LIFETIME
OPPORTUNITY
612
00:33:08,387 --> 00:33:09,221
FOR YOU, BUDDY.
613
00:33:09,255 --> 00:33:12,258
THIS IS A CHURCH,
AND THAT'S A FUNERAL.
614
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:15,094
IS NOTHING SACRED
TO YOU?
615
00:33:15,127 --> 00:33:16,462
ED.
616
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:19,498
BESIDES, WE'RE COMPLETELY
INAPPROPRIATELY DRESSED.
617
00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:29,608
WE'RE GOING TO HELL.
618
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:32,211
AN ETERNITY OF
RED-HOT POKERS
UP THE ASS.
619
00:33:32,244 --> 00:33:33,479
IT'S DEFINITELY
WORTH THE RISK.
620
00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:37,149
WILL YOU LOOK AT
ALL THE ASS IN HERE?
621
00:33:38,184 --> 00:33:39,485
OH, COME HERE, CHILD.
622
00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:42,754
LET THE CHURCH COMFORT YOU.
623
00:33:44,390 --> 00:33:46,692
MMM.
624
00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:49,195
OH.
625
00:33:49,228 --> 00:33:51,263
EXCUSE ME.
626
00:33:54,266 --> 00:33:56,602
WERE YOU CLOSE
TO THE DECEASED?
627
00:33:56,635 --> 00:33:58,070
I WAS HER LOVER.
628
00:33:58,104 --> 00:34:02,274
OH. YOU DRINK
FROM FURRY CUP?
629
00:34:02,308 --> 00:34:03,675
DO YOU LIKE
MEN, TOO?
630
00:34:03,709 --> 00:34:06,145
HAVEN'T YOU TAKEN
A VOW OF CELIBACY?
631
00:34:06,178 --> 00:34:11,250
OH, WELL, IT'S MORE
OF A GUIDELINE
THAN A VOW.
632
00:34:12,784 --> 00:34:13,819
OH, EXCUSE ME.
633
00:34:13,852 --> 00:34:17,223
MAYBE I'LL BAPTIZE
YOU LATER.
634
00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:19,325
Priest: WE ARE HERE--
635
00:34:22,228 --> 00:34:23,229
TODAY AS A--
636
00:34:28,134 --> 00:34:29,235
I'D LIKE TO--
637
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:41,113
MY VOICE. WOULD YOU MIND?
638
00:34:41,147 --> 00:34:41,813
I DON'T THINK--
639
00:34:41,847 --> 00:34:45,151
OH, WE'D BE
DELIGHTED, FATHER.
640
00:34:47,219 --> 00:34:48,019
WE CAN'T DO THIS.
641
00:34:48,053 --> 00:34:50,356
HEY, I AM AN ACTOR.
THIS IS WHAT I DO.
642
00:34:50,389 --> 00:34:53,325
THEY'LL NEVER KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE.
643
00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:58,564
SHALOM, AND WELCOME
TO OUR CHURCH
644
00:34:58,597 --> 00:35:00,232
ON THIS SAD DAY,
645
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:04,270
A DAY TO CELEBRATE
THE LIFE OF SIMONE.
646
00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:06,138
ANYONE WHO KNEW SIMONE
647
00:35:06,172 --> 00:35:08,607
KNEW THAT SHE WAS
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,
648
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,410
AND I'M NOT JUST TALKING
ABOUT IN MAGAZINES
649
00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:13,312
OR ON THE INTERNET.
650
00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:15,781
SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL
ON THE INSIDE, TOO.
651
00:35:15,814 --> 00:35:20,219
I MEAN, HER BONE STRUCTURE
WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD.
652
00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:23,722
BUT WHAT LESSONS CAN WE
NOW TAKE AWAY
653
00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:26,325
FROM SIMONE'S SHORT LIFE?
654
00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:27,926
TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS
655
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:30,229
AND TO MAKE EACH AND EVERY
MOMENT COUNT
656
00:35:30,262 --> 00:35:34,733
AS IF IT WAS YOUR LAST,
JUST AS SHE DID.
657
00:35:35,701 --> 00:35:38,804
AND WHAT, ALSO, CAN WE
LEARN FROM HER DEATH?
658
00:35:38,837 --> 00:35:42,774
IF YOU'RE GONNA MIX
METHAMPHETAMINES
AND KENTUCKY BOURBON,
659
00:35:42,808 --> 00:35:45,577
THEN DON'T DRIVE THE WRONG WAY
UP AN OFF RAMP
660
00:35:45,611 --> 00:35:48,347
INTO AN ONCOMING 18-WHEELER.
661
00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:58,390
* HOMINUS VACUUM
INDIGENOUS SCROTUM *
662
00:35:58,424 --> 00:36:02,394
* AMEN
663
00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:06,898
AND A BRIEF ANNOUNCEMENT
BEFORE WE DEPART.
664
00:36:06,932 --> 00:36:09,668
I WILL BE GIVING
AND RECEIVING
665
00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:12,271
ONE-ON-ONE GRIEF COUNSELING
IN THE SACRISTY
666
00:36:12,304 --> 00:36:14,806
DIRECTLY FOLLOWING
THE PROCESSION.
667
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,175
PLEASE STAND.
668
00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:24,316
AND LET US GO IN PEACE
TO LOVE AND TO SERVE THE LORD.
669
00:36:27,619 --> 00:36:30,289
Coop, my wallet.
It's in the casket.
670
00:36:30,322 --> 00:36:32,724
We can't do
anything about it now.
671
00:36:32,758 --> 00:36:34,260
Yeah, but--
672
00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:35,160
Hey, don't worry.
673
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:36,495
We'll go
to the cemetery
after the burial
674
00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:37,796
when everyone's
gone.
675
00:36:37,829 --> 00:36:41,533
We'll ask them to
open it up, OK?
676
00:36:43,602 --> 00:36:45,704
GREAT PLAN.
677
00:36:46,772 --> 00:36:49,408
I'M GOING TO WORK,
WHERE I SHOULD HAVE
BEEN ALL DAY.
678
00:36:49,441 --> 00:36:53,679
IT'S 5 P.M.,
AND I'VE GOT
NOTHING DONE.
679
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:55,647
NOTHING? YOU'VE
BEEN MEETING WOMEN.
680
00:36:55,681 --> 00:36:56,915
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT THAT.
681
00:36:56,948 --> 00:36:58,250
IN FACT, I WAS
PRETTY COMFORTABLE
682
00:36:58,284 --> 00:37:00,386
IN THOSE PRIEST'S
CLOTHES.
683
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:04,423
I JUST--I JUST WANT
TO SAVE MY CAREER.
684
00:37:04,456 --> 00:37:06,358
YOU KNOW, MAYBE
YOU'D DO A LITTLE
BIT BETTER AT YOUR JOB
685
00:37:06,392 --> 00:37:08,494
IF YOU JUST LOOSENED
UP AND GOT LAID.
686
00:37:08,527 --> 00:37:10,362
OK, I'M GOING
TO THE OFFICE,
687
00:37:10,396 --> 00:37:11,363
AND I'M GONNA
WORK ALL NIGHT,
688
00:37:11,397 --> 00:37:13,865
AND I'D APPRECIATE
IT IF YOU'D JUST
LET ME HAVE
689
00:37:13,899 --> 00:37:16,435
THAT TIME TO MYSELF.
690
00:37:18,370 --> 00:37:19,638
SURE.
691
00:37:19,671 --> 00:37:21,573
HEY, WHATEVER
YOU NEED, BUD.
692
00:37:21,607 --> 00:37:22,308
WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY.
693
00:37:22,341 --> 00:37:26,545
IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
WEEKEND. OK.
694
00:37:30,616 --> 00:37:32,418
HEY, BUDDY.
695
00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:34,586
HEY, I WAS THINKING.
696
00:37:34,620 --> 00:37:37,022
WHAT IF I BROUGHT
SOME GIRLS TO THE OFFICE?
697
00:37:37,055 --> 00:37:39,858
CAN YOU NOT GET IT
THROUGH YOUR THICK
SKULL?
698
00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:42,060
I DON'T CARE
ABOUT GETTING LAID.
699
00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:43,395
WHY? ARE YOU GAY?
700
00:37:43,429 --> 00:37:45,731
YOU'VE NEVER HAD
A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP,
701
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:46,832
SO YOU WOULDN'T
UNDERSTAND,
702
00:37:46,865 --> 00:37:51,002
BUT ME AND CATHY--
WHAT WE HAD WAS
SOMETHING SPECIAL.
703
00:37:51,036 --> 00:37:53,439
IT WAS ABOUT SO MUCH
MORE THAN SEX.
704
00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:55,574
IT WAS ABOUT A CLOSENESS.
705
00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:59,010
IT WAS ABOUT A WARMTH
THAT WE FELT FOR EACH OTHER.
706
00:37:59,044 --> 00:37:59,978
I MEAN, THERE WAS NOTHING
707
00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:00,912
I WOULDN'T DO FOR HER,
708
00:38:00,946 --> 00:38:02,448
AND THERE WAS NOTHING
SHE WOULDN'T DO FOR ME
709
00:38:02,481 --> 00:38:03,549
BECAUSE WE CARED
ABOUT EACH OTHER.
710
00:38:03,582 --> 00:38:07,419
ED, SHE VIDEOTAPED
HERSELF FUCKING
YOUR BEST FRIEND.
711
00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:09,087
GIVE ME A BREAK, MAN.
IT'S OVER.
712
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,022
NO. WHO KNOWS? SHE
COULD BE OUT THERE
713
00:38:11,056 --> 00:38:13,725
SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW,
THINKING ABOUT ME.
714
00:38:13,759 --> 00:38:14,593
I DOUBT IT, ED.
715
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:16,428
Ed: WHY? IS IT BECAUSE
I'M SO REPULSIVE?
716
00:38:16,462 --> 00:38:21,333
AM I SO REPUGNANT
THAT NO ONE WANTS
TO BE WITH ME?
717
00:38:21,367 --> 00:38:22,868
NO.
718
00:38:22,901 --> 00:38:24,636
NO, IT'S NOT THAT.
719
00:38:24,670 --> 00:38:26,438
IT'S JUST...
720
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:32,578
NOW, IT LOOKS LIKE
SHE'S SPOKEN FOR.
721
00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:41,487
I'M SORRY, BUD.
722
00:38:42,488 --> 00:38:43,455
ARE YOU OK?
723
00:38:43,489 --> 00:38:47,426
HEY, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA! ED!
724
00:38:47,626 --> 00:38:48,594
WAIT A MINUTE.
725
00:38:48,627 --> 00:38:51,663
LET'S ACT LIKE
ADULTS ABOUT THIS.
TAKE IT EASY.
726
00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:54,466
LET'S GO
AND SIT DOWN.
727
00:38:57,569 --> 00:39:00,572
I JUST...I JUST
REALLY THOUGHT
728
00:39:00,606 --> 00:39:02,708
WE WERE GONNA GET
BACK TOGETHER.
729
00:39:02,741 --> 00:39:04,976
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT
SHE WAS THE ONE.
730
00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:06,745
THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE
GOING WRONG, ED.
731
00:39:06,778 --> 00:39:09,815
I MEAN, YOU CAN'T THINK
ABOUT MEETING THE ONE.
732
00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:13,952
YOU NEED TO START THINKING
ABOUT MEETING THE ONES.
733
00:39:13,985 --> 00:39:16,154
MEETING WOMEN IS
A NUMBERS GAME.
734
00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:18,524
YOU THINK I GET LAID
A LOT, AND I DO,
735
00:39:18,557 --> 00:39:21,092
BUT I ONLY SLEEP
WITH A TINY PERCENTAGE
OF THE WOMEN
736
00:39:21,126 --> 00:39:22,428
I ACTUALLY TALK TO.
737
00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:25,464
I MEAN, I'LL TALK
TO 30 WOMEN IN A NIGHT,
738
00:39:25,497 --> 00:39:27,966
AND IF ONE FUCKS ME,
I'M DOING WELL.
739
00:39:27,999 --> 00:39:30,502
YOU--YOU TALK TO TWO
WOMEN IN A MONTH,
740
00:39:30,536 --> 00:39:31,770
AND IF NEITHER FUCKS
YOU, YOU SCAMPER BACK
741
00:39:31,803 --> 00:39:34,840
INTO YOUR LITTLE SHELL
AND FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
742
00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:36,642
TELL ME HOW IT WORKS.
743
00:39:36,675 --> 00:39:37,843
I MEAN, MAKE IT
WORK FOR ME.
744
00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:39,878
YOU WERE RIGHT.
GETTING ME LAID--
745
00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:43,549
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY
I'M GONNA GET OVER THIS.
746
00:39:43,582 --> 00:39:46,418
WHAT ABOUT YOUR JOB?
747
00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:50,456
I WILL WORK
748
00:39:50,489 --> 00:39:51,623
TOMORROW ALL DAY,
749
00:39:51,657 --> 00:39:56,061
BUT TONIGHT, I JUST
REALLY NEED TO HAVE SEX.
750
00:39:56,094 --> 00:39:58,430
WILL YOU HELP ME?
751
00:40:00,932 --> 00:40:01,900
Man: YEAH!
752
00:40:06,071 --> 00:40:08,540
GO, GIRL!
753
00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:14,946
Woman: * COME ON,
YOU BEAUTIFUL THING... *
754
00:40:16,214 --> 00:40:17,983
I DON'T KNOW
IF THIS IS SUCH
A GOOD IDEA.
755
00:40:18,016 --> 00:40:20,586
ARE YOU CRAZY, DUDE?
THIS IS A PERFECT
IDEA.
756
00:40:20,619 --> 00:40:22,488
LOOK AT ALL THE HOT
CHICKS, MAN.
757
00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:24,556
AND LISTEN, I'M GONNA KEEP
BRINGING GIRLS AROUND HERE
758
00:40:24,590 --> 00:40:26,191
TILL YOU FIND ONE
YOU LIKE, OK?
759
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,560
THEN TICKLE TICKLE,
PINCH PINCH.
760
00:40:28,594 --> 00:40:29,595
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT?
761
00:40:29,628 --> 00:40:34,566
SO JUST SIT BACK,
RELAX, AND HAVE
A LITTLE FUN.
762
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,068
Cooper: HEY!
OH, MY GOD.
763
00:40:37,102 --> 00:40:41,106
I NEVER WANTED TO BE
A GUN MORE IN MY LIFE.
764
00:40:44,843 --> 00:40:45,777
YEAH!
765
00:40:45,811 --> 00:40:48,647
I DON'T KNOW IF I
REALLY FEEL THAT COMFORTABLE
766
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,115
GLORIFYING WAR.
767
00:40:50,148 --> 00:40:52,618
AW. DAMN. THANK YOU.
768
00:40:57,022 --> 00:40:59,224
TAKES YOU BACK,
DOESN'T IT?
769
00:40:59,257 --> 00:41:01,660
OH, MAN.
770
00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:03,762
Cooper: OH, YEAH.
771
00:41:03,795 --> 00:41:07,265
IT IS GRADUATION
DAY, BROTHER.
772
00:41:07,298 --> 00:41:10,502
JESUS CHRIST!
773
00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:11,236
HOLY SHIT, WOMAN.
774
00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:14,506
HAVEN'T YOU EVER
HEARD OF WAXING?
775
00:41:15,941 --> 00:41:17,809
HA HA HA!
776
00:41:17,843 --> 00:41:19,878
Cooper: OH, YES.
777
00:41:19,911 --> 00:41:21,680
IT'S UNCLE SAM'S
DAUGHTER.
778
00:41:21,713 --> 00:41:25,283
OUTSTANDING.
OH, MY GOD, ED.
779
00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:27,553
LOOK AT THOSE TITS.
780
00:41:27,586 --> 00:41:31,790
OH. GOD BLESS
AMERICA, MAN.
781
00:41:32,624 --> 00:41:35,661
I DON'T KNOW IF
I'M FEELING ALL
THAT PATRIOTIC.
782
00:41:35,694 --> 00:41:36,828
YOU'RE FUCKING
CRAZY, MAN.
783
00:41:36,862 --> 00:41:39,698
HERE. PAY THE WOMAN.
784
00:41:45,971 --> 00:41:49,608
NO, HONEY.
YOU TUCK IT IN THE TOP.
785
00:41:52,043 --> 00:41:54,012
OW!
786
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:55,013
WHAT? WHAT?
787
00:41:56,582 --> 00:41:58,917
OH, REAL COOL, FELLAS.
COME ON.
788
00:41:58,950 --> 00:42:00,652
YOU KNOW SHE'S GOT
MORE TO WORRY ABOUT
789
00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:01,653
THAN PAPER CUTS
DOWN THERE,
790
00:42:01,687 --> 00:42:02,621
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING?
791
00:42:02,654 --> 00:42:05,190
HEY, THIS DOESN'T
HAPPEN IN JAPAN,
MY FRIEND.
792
00:42:05,223 --> 00:42:06,592
IT REALLY DOESN'T.
793
00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:07,793
THOROUGHLY ANGRY.
794
00:42:07,826 --> 00:42:09,695
HEY, ED, DID YOU SEE
THE REACTION YOU GOT
OUT OF THAT WOMAN?
795
00:42:09,728 --> 00:42:12,330
IT WAS PHENOMENAL.
THAT WAS A GREAT
START, BUDDY.
796
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:13,131
COOPER,
THAT IN THERE?
797
00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:16,067
THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M
LOOKING FOR, OK?
798
00:42:16,101 --> 00:42:17,002
HAVE YOU HEARD
THE EXPRESSION
799
00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:19,738
GIVE A MAN A FISH
AND HE'LL EAT
FOR A DAY,
800
00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:23,742
BUT TEACH A MAN
TO FISH, AND HE'LL
EAT FOREVER?
801
00:42:23,775 --> 00:42:25,276
YOU WANT TO LEARN
HOW TO FISH?
802
00:42:25,310 --> 00:42:27,345
NO. I WANT TO LEARN
803
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:29,014
HOW TO PICK UP
A WOMAN
LEGITIMATELY.
804
00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:32,317
I DON'T WANT TO
HAVE TO PAY SOMEONE
TO SLEEP WITH ME.
805
00:42:32,350 --> 00:42:33,484
I KNOW, BUDDY.
I KNOW.
806
00:42:33,518 --> 00:42:36,688
I'LL TEACH YOU HOW.
I'LL TEACH YOU HOW
TO PICK UP WOMEN.
807
00:42:36,722 --> 00:42:38,657
COME ON. I'M YOUR BRO.
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.
808
00:42:38,690 --> 00:42:41,026
BUT YOU GOT TONIGHT.
TONIGHT ONLY.
809
00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,293
WELL, NOT LAID
TONIGHT ONLY,
810
00:42:42,327 --> 00:42:43,595
BUT I WANT YOU
TO TEACH ME.
811
00:42:43,629 --> 00:42:44,730
TONIGHT IS
YOUR NIGHT.
812
00:42:44,763 --> 00:42:46,665
I MEAN, IT'S YOUR
BIRTHDAY WEEKEND.
813
00:42:46,698 --> 00:42:47,432
GET IT GOING.
814
00:42:47,465 --> 00:42:49,735
I'M THE STUDENT.
YOU'RE THE SENSEI.
815
00:42:49,768 --> 00:42:51,302
I WILL SHOW YOU
THE PATH
816
00:42:51,336 --> 00:42:54,239
TO VAGINA
ENLIGHTENMENT.
817
00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:07,018
EXCUSE ME. YOU'RE PUTTING
ALL YOUR WHITES
818
00:43:07,052 --> 00:43:08,386
IN WITH YOUR COLORS.
819
00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:09,621
IS THAT BAD?
820
00:43:09,655 --> 00:43:13,258
WELL, IT IS IF YOU DON'T
WANT ALL YOUR WHITES
COMING OUT PINK.
821
00:43:13,291 --> 00:43:17,963
OH, REALLY?
I'M SUCH A MORON.
822
00:43:18,697 --> 00:43:22,100
I CAN BUILD A SCHOOL
FOR ORPHANS IN SOMALIA,
823
00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:23,935
BUT I CAN'T DO
MY OWN LAUNDRY.
824
00:43:23,969 --> 00:43:29,908
YOU WERE IN SOMALIA?
I WOULD LOVE TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THAT.
825
00:43:30,909 --> 00:43:33,311
HERE. LET ME HELP YOU.
826
00:43:33,344 --> 00:43:35,013
YEAH.
827
00:43:44,289 --> 00:43:46,191
AND THAT IS WHY AIDS
IS A CLEAR EXAMPLE
828
00:43:46,224 --> 00:43:49,961
OF GOD PUNISHING
THE BLACKS AND THE GAYS.
829
00:43:51,062 --> 00:43:51,930
TELL ME, DO YOU--
830
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:54,866
OH, DON'T EVEN GET ME
STARTED ON THE JEWS.
831
00:43:59,705 --> 00:44:01,272
THAT'S ME DONE.
832
00:44:02,841 --> 00:44:03,809
GOT TO GO.
833
00:44:03,842 --> 00:44:06,211
WELL, DON'T YOU WANT
TO GET A DRINK OR SOMETHING?
834
00:44:06,244 --> 00:44:08,113
I'D LOVE TO.
QUICK.
835
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:09,881
ED.
836
00:44:10,882 --> 00:44:11,817
I DON'T SEE HOW
THE GYM
837
00:44:11,850 --> 00:44:14,786
IS GONNA BE
ANY BETTER THAN
THE LAUNDROMAT.
838
00:44:14,820 --> 00:44:15,520
WELL...
839
00:44:15,553 --> 00:44:16,487
YOU'VE GOT
TUMBLE DRYERS
ON LOW
840
00:44:16,521 --> 00:44:21,192
OR BIG, SWEATY,
BOUNCING TITS
IN A LEOTARD.
841
00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:22,093
OH, MY GOD,
LOOK AT HER.
842
00:44:22,127 --> 00:44:25,864
I BET SHE USES
KAMA SUTRA
AS A COOL-DOWN.
843
00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:27,899
ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE UP,
IRON MAN.
844
00:44:27,933 --> 00:44:29,300
GO GET HER.
COME ON.
845
00:44:29,334 --> 00:44:32,137
ON THE
TREADMILL.
GO, GO, GO.
846
00:44:37,108 --> 00:44:38,109
UH!
847
00:44:38,143 --> 00:44:41,412
AAH!
848
00:44:44,115 --> 00:44:45,717
HEY, TOUGH
BREAK, BRO.
849
00:44:45,751 --> 00:44:46,684
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
NO WORRIES.
850
00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:48,787
YOU KNOW WHAT
WOMEN LOVE MORE
THAN ANYTHING?
851
00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:53,158
MEN WITH BABIES.
WE'RE GONNA GET
A BABY.
852
00:44:56,928 --> 00:44:58,897
LET'S SKIP
THE BABIES.
853
00:44:58,930 --> 00:44:59,831
YEAH. YEAH.
GOOD IDEA.
854
00:44:59,865 --> 00:45:01,933
I DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT BABIES ANYWAY.
855
00:45:01,967 --> 00:45:03,802
COME ON. I GOT
A BETTER IDEA.
856
00:45:03,835 --> 00:45:05,103
WATCH IT.
I TORE MY SAC.
857
00:45:05,136 --> 00:45:07,839
Cooper: LISTEN.
BEGGARS CAN'T BE
CHOOSERS, BUDDY,
858
00:45:07,873 --> 00:45:08,907
AND STAY POSITIVE, ED.
859
00:45:08,940 --> 00:45:11,276
WE'RE DOING GREAT
HERE, MAN.
860
00:45:11,309 --> 00:45:12,377
I'M NOT SURE
ABOUT THIS.
861
00:45:12,410 --> 00:45:16,114
CHECK HER OUT.
LOOK AT HOW SHE'S
WORKING THAT OLIVE.
862
00:45:16,147 --> 00:45:18,149
OHH. IT'S FANTASTIC.
863
00:45:18,183 --> 00:45:20,852
YOU WANT TO GET
LAID, DON'T YOU?
864
00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:23,254
NOT THAT BADLY.
865
00:45:23,288 --> 00:45:24,189
OH! DUDE, DUDE. HERE.
866
00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:26,324
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE.
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE. GO.
867
00:45:26,357 --> 00:45:27,092
WHAT? WHAT?
GO.
868
00:45:27,125 --> 00:45:29,961
LIGHT HER CIGARETTE.
GO. BE SUAVE.
869
00:45:32,964 --> 00:45:35,100
CAN I OFFER YOU
A LIGHT?
870
00:45:35,133 --> 00:45:36,802
A GENTLEMAN.
871
00:45:36,835 --> 00:45:39,737
YOU'RE A RARE BREED.
872
00:45:51,382 --> 00:45:54,452
SORRY.
873
00:45:54,485 --> 00:45:55,887
ARE YOU A SCOTCH DRINKER?
874
00:45:55,921 --> 00:45:57,856
I'LL BET YOU ARE.
875
00:45:57,889 --> 00:45:58,723
OOH! OOH!
876
00:45:58,756 --> 00:46:03,494
SO, UH, YOU EVER
BEEN TO JAPAN, OKINAWA?
877
00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:04,429
PUT IT OUT,
PUT IT OUT!
878
00:46:04,462 --> 00:46:06,832
IT'S BEAUTIFUL THERE.
IT'S A LOT LIKE THIS.
879
00:46:06,865 --> 00:46:07,598
YOU COULD WEAR THAT.
880
00:46:07,632 --> 00:46:09,868
MAYBE TAHITI,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
881
00:46:09,901 --> 00:46:10,802
ARE YOU TICKLISH?
882
00:46:10,836 --> 00:46:12,537
PUT IT OUT!
PUT IT OUT!
883
00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:16,207
GOOD AS NEW.
GOOD AS NEW.
884
00:46:16,241 --> 00:46:18,877
CAN I BUY YOU
ANOTHER DRINK?
885
00:46:19,911 --> 00:46:21,312
UNH!
886
00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:29,520
THAT'S IT.
I'M DONE. I'M DONE.
887
00:46:29,554 --> 00:46:32,958
I SCRAPED THE BOTTOM
OF THE BARREL,
888
00:46:32,991 --> 00:46:38,296
AND THE BOTTOM
OF THE BARREL
REJECTED ME.
889
00:46:38,329 --> 00:46:41,466
ALL RIGHT. IT'S TIME
FOR A STIFF DRINK.
890
00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:44,335
GO HOME,
GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP,
891
00:46:44,369 --> 00:46:48,139
WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,
AND WORK LIKE A DOG.
892
00:46:53,011 --> 00:46:54,946
HEY. THANKS, RANDY.
APPRECIATE THAT.
893
00:46:54,980 --> 00:46:57,182
KEEP THEM COMING,
WILL YOU?
894
00:47:00,351 --> 00:47:02,954
UH, VODKA TONIC.
895
00:47:04,589 --> 00:47:09,560
Man: * CLAMBERING MEN
IN BIG BAD BOOTS *
896
00:47:09,594 --> 00:47:14,165
* DUG UP MY DEN,
DUG UP MY ROOTS... *
897
00:47:14,199 --> 00:47:15,967
THANKS.
898
00:47:16,001 --> 00:47:18,636
* TREATED US LIKE
PLASTICINE TOWN *
899
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:24,042
* THEY BUILT US UP
AND KNOCKED US DOWN... *
900
00:47:26,912 --> 00:47:30,982
That guy at the end
of the bar. Thanks.
901
00:47:31,016 --> 00:47:35,020
* FROM MECCANO
TO LEGOLAND *
902
00:47:35,053 --> 00:47:39,891
* HERE THEY COME
WITH A BRICK IN THEIR HAND *
903
00:47:39,925 --> 00:47:43,494
* MEN WITH HEADS
FILLED UP WITH SAND *
904
00:47:43,528 --> 00:47:47,966
* IT'S BUILD...
905
00:47:47,999 --> 00:47:49,968
CAN I BUY YOU
A DRINK?
906
00:47:50,001 --> 00:47:52,870
NO, THANKS.
907
00:47:53,438 --> 00:47:56,942
* BA BA, BUILD...
908
00:47:56,975 --> 00:47:58,910
I'M KIDDING.
909
00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:02,213
I'LL HAVE
A COSMOPOLITAN.
910
00:48:02,247 --> 00:48:06,351
AND A COSMOPOLITAN
FOR THE LADY.
911
00:48:06,384 --> 00:48:08,319
SO...
912
00:48:08,353 --> 00:48:09,955
WHAT BRINGS
YOU HERE?
913
00:48:09,988 --> 00:48:13,124
MY BROTHER'S, UH, GONE.
914
00:48:13,158 --> 00:48:16,995
NICE. UH, YOU--
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
915
00:48:17,028 --> 00:48:20,065
MY DATE.
916
00:48:20,098 --> 00:48:21,266
MM.
917
00:48:21,299 --> 00:48:23,501
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
HE STOOD ME UP.
918
00:48:23,534 --> 00:48:26,104
OH, HE'S AN IDIOT
IF HE HAS.
919
00:48:26,137 --> 00:48:28,940
THANKS.
920
00:48:28,974 --> 00:48:34,045
HEY. HERE'S
TO BAD DATES.
921
00:48:34,079 --> 00:48:35,680
YOU HAD SOME?
922
00:48:35,713 --> 00:48:38,083
SOME? I'VE HAD
THEM ALL.
923
00:48:38,116 --> 00:48:41,286
DATING SHOULD
BE OUTLAWED.
AMEN.
924
00:48:41,319 --> 00:48:43,521
THEY SHOULD
JUST BRING BACK
ARRANGED MARRIAGES.
925
00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:45,590
COULDN'T RAISE
THE DIVORCE RATE
MUCH HIGHER
926
00:48:45,623 --> 00:48:46,524
THAN IT ALREADY IS.
927
00:48:46,557 --> 00:48:48,126
IF WOMEN DIDN'T
HAVE TO BOTHER
928
00:48:48,159 --> 00:48:50,728
TRYING TO
FIND, MEET,
AND ATTRACT MEN,
929
00:48:50,761 --> 00:48:53,098
IT WOULD FREE UP,
WHAT, 50 HOURS
A WEEK?
930
00:48:53,131 --> 00:48:57,068
EASILY. AND IMAGINE
WHAT YOU WOMEN
COULD ACHIEVE
931
00:48:57,102 --> 00:48:58,536
WITH THAT KIND
OF EXTRA TIME.
932
00:48:58,569 --> 00:49:00,338
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THERE'D BE
933
00:49:00,371 --> 00:49:03,008
A BLOOMINGDALE'S
ON MARS.
934
00:49:03,041 --> 00:49:05,510
* A HOUSE WHERE
WE CAN STAY *
935
00:49:05,543 --> 00:49:07,712
* BA BA BA BA, BUILD...
936
00:49:07,745 --> 00:49:13,018
TO BEING FRIENDS
AND NOTHING MORE.
937
00:49:13,051 --> 00:49:13,684
DITTO.
938
00:49:13,718 --> 00:49:15,020
* A ROAD FOR US
TO CROSS *
939
00:49:15,053 --> 00:49:16,521
* BA BA BA BA, BUILD
940
00:49:16,554 --> 00:49:17,488
Man: YOU CAN BACK
RIGHT OFF!
941
00:49:17,522 --> 00:49:20,258
Different man:
I'M NOT BACKING OFF.
DIG THIS!
942
00:49:21,659 --> 00:49:23,528
YOU LIVE HERE?
943
00:49:23,561 --> 00:49:24,262
TEMPORARILY.
944
00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:27,032
MY APARTMENT IS
BEING REPAINTED.
945
00:49:27,065 --> 00:49:29,600
I HOPE YOUR
APARTMENT'S DONE SOON.
946
00:49:29,634 --> 00:49:32,437
DAMN IT. I'M OUT
OF COFFEE, ED.
947
00:49:32,470 --> 00:49:39,077
OH. WELL, THAT'S OK.
COFFEE WOULD KEEP ME
UP ALL NIGHT.
948
00:49:39,110 --> 00:49:39,744
WILL THIS...
949
00:49:39,777 --> 00:49:42,547
KEEP YOU UP
ALL NIGHT?
950
00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:51,356
Man: * ALL I NEED
IS YOUR LOVE *
951
00:49:51,389 --> 00:49:55,393
* ALL I NEED
IS YOUR LOVE *
952
00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:56,661
* ALL, ALL, ALL RIGHT
953
00:49:56,694 --> 00:50:00,265
* I DON'T WANT
NO REAL FINE CAR *
954
00:50:00,298 --> 00:50:04,102
* I GOT A LITTLE HONEY
THAT WILL TAKE ME FAR *
955
00:50:04,135 --> 00:50:08,739
* I DON'T WANT
NO RICHES AND FAME *
956
00:50:08,773 --> 00:50:09,507
POLICE!
957
00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:10,441
I'M ARRESTING YOU
FOR SOLICITING.
958
00:50:10,475 --> 00:50:13,478
WHA--ARE YOU CRAZY?
SHE'S NOT A PROSTITUTE.
959
00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:17,615
WAIT OUTSIDE FOR 10--
3 MINUTES,
960
00:50:17,648 --> 00:50:20,085
AND MAYBE WE CAN WORK
SOMETHING OUT.
961
00:50:20,118 --> 00:50:23,188
THERE'S BEEN SOME SORT
OF MISUNDERSTANDING.
962
00:50:23,221 --> 00:50:25,190
I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE IN HERE.
963
00:50:25,223 --> 00:50:27,292
YOU TELL HIM.
964
00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:29,327
ME, TOO!
965
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:34,199
IT'S--IT'S
A MISCARRIAGE
OF JUSTICE.
966
00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:37,202
THEY SAID
I WAS DRUNK.
967
00:50:37,235 --> 00:50:39,204
IF I WAS DRUNK,
968
00:50:39,237 --> 00:50:43,474
MY BREATH WOULD
SMELL OF BOOZE.
969
00:50:43,508 --> 00:50:46,744
HOW DOES
MY BREATH SMELL?
970
00:50:46,777 --> 00:50:48,113
HAA.
971
00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:55,353
I'M HERE TO BAIL
OUT MY BROTHER,
UH, ED WAXMAN.
972
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:57,622
FILL IN THESE FORMS.
973
00:51:03,128 --> 00:51:05,696
YOU GOT
A PRETTY MOUTH.
974
00:51:05,730 --> 00:51:08,433
SHIT, COOPER.
PLEASE HURRY.
975
00:51:08,466 --> 00:51:09,667
WELL, YOU KNOW
IN JAPAN,
976
00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:12,137
I'M LIKE BRAD PITT.
977
00:51:12,170 --> 00:51:13,671
SERIOUSLY.
978
00:51:13,704 --> 00:51:15,373
YOU SMELL NICE.
979
00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:17,208
MM-HMM.
980
00:51:17,242 --> 00:51:18,709
HEY. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
981
00:51:18,743 --> 00:51:21,646
I BET YOU FUCK
LIKE A BUNNY.
982
00:51:21,679 --> 00:51:22,513
HEH HEH.
983
00:51:22,547 --> 00:51:25,150
KEEP THOSE CUFFS
WHEN YOU'RE
OFF DUTY?
984
00:51:25,183 --> 00:51:29,220
FARADAY, DON'T YOU HAVE
SOME CRIMES TO SOLVE?
985
00:51:29,254 --> 00:51:30,855
SORRY, SIR.
986
00:51:34,225 --> 00:51:38,863
BRAD PITT, YOU DONE
WITH THOSE FORMS YET?
987
00:51:38,896 --> 00:51:40,765
THERE YOU GO,
MY GOOD SIR.
988
00:51:40,798 --> 00:51:41,899
NOW WHY DON'T YOU
GO BE A PEACH
989
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:45,170
AND GET MY BROTHER
OUT OF THERE, HUH?
990
00:51:46,304 --> 00:51:48,439
I'LL BE OUTSIDE.
991
00:51:51,576 --> 00:51:52,277
MM.
992
00:51:52,310 --> 00:51:55,413
Man: IS THERE
AN ED WAXMAN HERE?
993
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:57,515
YOUR BAIL'S
BEEN POSTED.
994
00:51:57,548 --> 00:51:59,184
I'M ED WAXMAN.
995
00:51:59,217 --> 00:52:00,551
DID YOU COME IN
WITH ANY I.D.?
996
00:52:00,585 --> 00:52:02,153
NO. I LOST
MY WALLET.
REALLY?
997
00:52:02,187 --> 00:52:04,389
I CAN ASSURE YOU
I'M ED WAXMAN.
998
00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:06,524
JUST LET ME OUT
OF HERE.
999
00:52:06,557 --> 00:52:08,459
OH, STOP.
1000
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:11,429
I AM ED WAXMAN.
1001
00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:13,598
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
1002
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:14,265
CAN YOU PROVE IT?
1003
00:52:14,299 --> 00:52:15,566
OF COURSE HE CAN'T
PROVE IT.
1004
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,735
HE'S NOT ED WAXMAN.
1005
00:52:17,768 --> 00:52:19,804
I PREFER EDWARD ACTUALLY,
1006
00:52:19,837 --> 00:52:24,675
AND, UH, HERE'S
THE PROOF.
1007
00:52:24,709 --> 00:52:25,576
OUT YOU COME.
1008
00:52:25,610 --> 00:52:26,677
STAND BACK
FROM THE DOOR.
1009
00:52:26,711 --> 00:52:28,379
HE'S WEARING
MY SHIRT.
1010
00:52:28,413 --> 00:52:31,182
I HAD IT ON.
I WEAR AN UNDERSHIRT
ALL THE TIME,
1011
00:52:31,216 --> 00:52:32,550
AND I DON'T HAVE
ONE ON RIGHT NOW.
1012
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:33,351
THAT'S MY SHIRT.
1013
00:52:33,384 --> 00:52:35,953
THAT'S THE SHIRT
I WIPED MY ASS WITH!
1014
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:39,224
I HAD MEXICAN FOOD!
1015
00:52:42,227 --> 00:52:44,829
HERE'S YOUR BROTHER.
1016
00:52:44,862 --> 00:52:47,398
WHERE?
1017
00:52:47,432 --> 00:52:49,300
THERE.
1018
00:52:49,334 --> 00:52:51,669
THAT'S NOT
MY BROTHER.
1019
00:52:51,702 --> 00:52:53,538
WELL, HE WAS
POSITIVELY I.D.ed.
1020
00:52:53,571 --> 00:52:56,241
WELL, YOU RELEASED
THE WRONG GUY.
1021
00:52:56,274 --> 00:52:58,843
NOW, GO INSIDE
AND GET MY BROTHER.
1022
00:52:58,876 --> 00:53:00,345
WELL, THERE'S NOTHING
MORE I CAN DO.
1023
00:53:00,378 --> 00:53:01,646
I GUESS YOU HAVE TO
COME BACK IN THE MORNING
1024
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,415
AND SORT IT OUT
WITH THE LIEUTENANT.
1025
00:53:04,449 --> 00:53:06,284
NIGHT-NIGHT.
1026
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:17,228
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
1027
00:53:17,262 --> 00:53:20,465
I'M TAKING YOU
TO AN OVERNIGHT CELL.
1028
00:53:20,498 --> 00:53:21,399
COME HERE, BITCH!
1029
00:53:21,432 --> 00:53:22,600
I CAN'T--I CAN'T--
1030
00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:23,701
Man: HEY,
COCKSUCKER!
1031
00:53:23,734 --> 00:53:25,336
SPEND THE NIGHT IN HERE.
1032
00:53:25,370 --> 00:53:26,504
SWEET MEAT!
1033
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:31,676
WELL, IT AIN'T
THE HOLIDAY INN.
1034
00:53:31,709 --> 00:53:36,847
NO. IT'S, UM--
THAT'S GREAT. THANKS.
1035
00:53:36,881 --> 00:53:37,882
WHAT IS THIS GUY?
1036
00:53:37,915 --> 00:53:41,419
SOME JERK GOT CAUGHT
WITH A PRO.
1037
00:53:41,452 --> 00:53:43,321
FEEL SORRY FOR HIM.
1038
00:53:43,354 --> 00:53:44,389
I KNOW YOU
FROM SOMEWHERE.
1039
00:53:44,422 --> 00:53:47,458
NO. I DON'T THINK SO. NO.
1040
00:53:47,492 --> 00:53:49,527
YOU'RE THE PERVERT!
1041
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:50,295
WHAT?
1042
00:53:50,328 --> 00:53:51,829
YOU WERE AT THE PARK
THIS MORNING.
1043
00:53:51,862 --> 00:53:53,264
PROPOSITIONED
A WOMAN.
1044
00:53:53,298 --> 00:53:54,332
APPARENTLY GETS
TURNED ON
1045
00:53:54,365 --> 00:53:55,500
BY HORSE ERECTIONS.
1046
00:53:55,533 --> 00:53:57,835
WHEN I APPROACHED
THE SUSPECT,
HE RAN.
1047
00:53:57,868 --> 00:53:58,869
DID YOU DO THAT?
1048
00:53:58,903 --> 00:54:02,473
WELL, I RAN AWAY,
BUT IT WASN'T
BECAUSE OF THE--
1049
00:54:02,507 --> 00:54:05,943
ALL RIGHT!
I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.
1050
00:54:05,976 --> 00:54:07,345
NO, NO.
1051
00:54:07,378 --> 00:54:07,978
PERVERT.
1052
00:54:08,012 --> 00:54:11,416
I'M NOT A PERVERT!
COME ON.
1053
00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:13,918
I'M NOT A PERVERT!
1054
00:54:19,957 --> 00:54:22,293
HELLO.
1055
00:54:22,327 --> 00:54:23,461
WHAT ARE YOU
IN HERE FOR?
1056
00:54:23,494 --> 00:54:26,631
I HAD A MISUNDERSTANDING
WITH A PROSTITUTE.
1057
00:54:26,664 --> 00:54:28,933
I DIDN'T EVEN--
YOU KNOW, IT WAS--
1058
00:54:28,966 --> 00:54:30,668
WHAT ARE YOU
IN FOR?
1059
00:54:30,701 --> 00:54:34,772
BIGGEST BLACK MARKET
VIAGRA DEALER IN AMERICA.
1060
00:54:34,805 --> 00:54:35,640
OH.
1061
00:54:35,673 --> 00:54:37,475
BUT THEIR CASE
DOESN'T STAND
A CHANCE.
1062
00:54:37,508 --> 00:54:39,444
I MANAGED TO SWALLOW
MOST OF MY STASH
1063
00:54:39,477 --> 00:54:42,847
BEFORE THEY COULD
IMPOUND IT.
1064
00:54:49,487 --> 00:54:52,323
YOU LOOK NERVOUS.
1065
00:54:52,357 --> 00:54:53,958
YOU NERVOUS?
NO.
1066
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:59,497
THERE'S NO REASON
WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS.
1067
00:54:59,530 --> 00:55:02,467
YOU LOOK LIKE
A REASONABLE
INDIVIDUAL,
1068
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:05,470
SO THERE'S NO REASON
BECAUSE WE JUST GOT
TO RESPECT
1069
00:55:05,503 --> 00:55:06,804
EACH OTHER'S SPACE,
1070
00:55:06,837 --> 00:55:08,473
THE PERSONAL
BOUNDARIES,
1071
00:55:08,506 --> 00:55:11,509
THE--THE SPACE,
THE BOUNDARIES,
1072
00:55:11,542 --> 00:55:12,577
THE PERSONAL
BOUNDARIES.
1073
00:55:12,610 --> 00:55:18,516
COOPER! COOPER!
COOPER!
1074
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,890
Guard: OK, WAXMAN.
1075
00:55:25,923 --> 00:55:29,694
YOU'RE BEING RELEASED.
1076
00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:35,766
THE TRAY SAVED YOUR ASS
THIS TIME, HUH?
1077
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,635
WORK, GOT TO GO
TO WORK.
1078
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:42,407
OH, JESUS, MAN.
YOU'RE IN NO SHAPE
TO GO TO THE OFFICE.
1079
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:43,508
COME ON. OH, NO.
1080
00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:45,910
YOU'RE GONNA COME
WITH ME ON A LITTLE
CAR RIDE, OK?
1081
00:55:45,943 --> 00:55:49,013
COME ON.
WATCH YOUR DOME THERE.
1082
00:55:49,046 --> 00:55:50,548
OH. ED, WATCH
YOUR HEAD.
1083
00:55:50,581 --> 00:55:52,683
COME ON.
GET IN THERE.
1084
00:55:52,717 --> 00:55:54,585
GET IN THERE.
THERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
1085
00:55:54,619 --> 00:55:56,421
HOLD ON TO THAT.
1086
00:56:00,458 --> 00:56:03,728
Cooper: SO, UH, HOW'D
YOU GET ARRESTED
IN THE FIRST PLACE?
1087
00:56:03,761 --> 00:56:06,130
I STILL DON'T
UNDERSTAND IT.
1088
00:56:06,163 --> 00:56:07,398
I MET A NICE GIRL.
1089
00:56:07,432 --> 00:56:09,400
SHE INVITES ME
BACK TO HER PLACE,
1090
00:56:09,434 --> 00:56:14,138
AND IT TURNS OUT
SHE'S A PROSTITUTE.
1091
00:56:14,171 --> 00:56:15,105
WELL, DID SHE ASK
YOU FOR MONEY?
1092
00:56:15,139 --> 00:56:18,409
NO. THAT'S
THE WEIRD PART
IS I THOUGHT YOU GOT
1093
00:56:18,443 --> 00:56:19,510
THE FINANCIAL BIT
OUT OF THE WAY FIRST.
1094
00:56:19,544 --> 00:56:23,914
YEAH, YEAH. YEAH.
THAT'S THE WAY
I'VE ALWAYS DONE IT.
1095
00:56:27,985 --> 00:56:30,154
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS MEANS?
1096
00:56:30,187 --> 00:56:30,955
WHAT?
1097
00:56:30,988 --> 00:56:32,523
SHE WAS OFF DUTY.
1098
00:56:32,557 --> 00:56:33,758
SHE MUST HAVE
REALLY LIKED YOU,
1099
00:56:33,791 --> 00:56:36,994
AND, ED, A PROSTITUTE
THAT'S WILLING TO GIVE
IT AWAY FOR FREE
1100
00:56:37,027 --> 00:56:40,030
IS WORTH AT LEAST
TWO NORMAL GIRLS.
1101
00:56:40,064 --> 00:56:41,432
REALLY?
HELL, YEAH, MAN.
1102
00:56:41,466 --> 00:56:44,769
YOU ARE A STUD,
MY FRIEND,
1103
00:56:44,802 --> 00:56:47,137
A TOTAL STUD.
1104
00:56:47,171 --> 00:56:50,441
AND THAT KIM, GOD,
WAS SHE NECTAR, HUH?
1105
00:56:50,475 --> 00:56:51,509
SHE WAS HOT.
1106
00:56:51,542 --> 00:56:53,010
OH, SHE WAS.
SHE REALLY WAS.
1107
00:56:53,043 --> 00:56:56,747
I MEAN, YOU SHOULD
HAVE SEEN IT.
1108
00:56:56,781 --> 00:56:58,616
HOW'D YOU KNOW
HER NAME?
1109
00:56:58,649 --> 00:56:59,717
YOU TOLD ME.
1110
00:56:59,750 --> 00:57:00,551
NO, I DIDN'T.
1111
00:57:00,585 --> 00:57:04,455
SO HOW DID YOU KNOW
HER NAME WAS KIM?
1112
00:57:04,489 --> 00:57:05,723
WELL, SHE LOOKED
LIKE A KIM.
1113
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:08,459
I MEAN, SHE HAD
VERY KIMESQUE FEATURES.
1114
00:57:08,493 --> 00:57:09,727
YOU PAID HER,
DIDN'T YOU?
1115
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:10,595
YOU--YOU PAID HER
IN ADVANCE.
1116
00:57:10,628 --> 00:57:12,830
THAT'S WHY SHE
DIDN'T ASK
FOR THE MONEY.
1117
00:57:12,863 --> 00:57:15,733
NO, I DIDN'T.
HEY, ED, THAT'S
LUDICROUS.
1118
00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:18,035
I WAS ONLY TRYING
TO BUILD YOUR
SELF-ESTEEM.
1119
00:57:18,068 --> 00:57:21,005
AM I SO PATHETIC
THAT A WOMAN'S NOT
GONNA SLEEP WITH ME
1120
00:57:21,038 --> 00:57:22,640
WITHOUT FINANCIAL
INCENTIVE?
1121
00:57:22,673 --> 00:57:25,142
ED, COME ON.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
1122
00:57:25,175 --> 00:57:26,511
LISTEN. YOU AND I
BOTH KNOW.
1123
00:57:26,544 --> 00:57:28,245
THAT SOMEDAY WE ARE
GONNA LOOK AT THIS
1124
00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:29,914
AS BROTHERS
AND LAUGH ABOUT IT.
1125
00:57:29,947 --> 00:57:30,848
YOU SICKBAG!
1126
00:57:30,881 --> 00:57:34,118
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT I'VE BEEN
THROUGH?
1127
00:57:34,151 --> 00:57:36,120
I WAS JUST
TRYING TO HELP.
1128
00:57:36,153 --> 00:57:38,656
HELP?
1129
00:57:38,689 --> 00:57:40,991
HELP? YOU HELPED ME
GET A CRIMINAL RECORD
1130
00:57:41,025 --> 00:57:45,029
WHEN ALL I WANTED
TO DO WAS GO
TO THE OFFICE
1131
00:57:45,062 --> 00:57:47,932
AND SAVE MY CAREER.
1132
00:57:47,965 --> 00:57:49,867
AND NOW THAT'S
GONE, TOO!
1133
00:57:49,900 --> 00:57:51,936
I SHOULD HAVE
NEVER LISTENED
TO YOU.
1134
00:57:51,969 --> 00:57:54,171
WHY--OOH!
1135
00:57:55,305 --> 00:57:58,876
ED, I THINK WE
NEED TO TAKE
A LITTLE BREATH HERE.
1136
00:57:58,909 --> 00:58:01,546
I MEAN, IT'S JUST
A JOB.
1137
00:58:01,579 --> 00:58:05,516
AT LEAST I'VE HAD
A JOB IN MY
LIFETIME, COOP.
1138
00:58:05,550 --> 00:58:07,084
YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED
NOTHING.
1139
00:58:07,117 --> 00:58:08,352
NOTHING?
1140
00:58:08,385 --> 00:58:11,556
ED, IN JAPAN, THIS IS
THE EIGHTH MOST RECOGNIZED
WESTERN FACE.
1141
00:58:11,589 --> 00:58:14,659
AND ONE DAY,
THEY'RE GONNA
REPLACE THAT FACE,
1142
00:58:14,692 --> 00:58:16,226
AND YOU'LL HAVE
NOTHING,
1143
00:58:16,260 --> 00:58:17,595
AND YOU'LL BE
NOTHING
1144
00:58:17,628 --> 00:58:19,797
BECAUSE YOU'VE
TRIED NOTHING.
1145
00:58:21,566 --> 00:58:23,233
HEY. WELL, FUCK YOU!
1146
00:58:23,267 --> 00:58:24,702
UNH!
1147
00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:29,807
Cooper: OH, SHIT.
I'M SORRY, ED.
1148
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:30,641
FUCK.
1149
00:58:30,675 --> 00:58:32,677
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
1150
00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:36,614
HEY, ED, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
1151
00:58:36,647 --> 00:58:37,548
GOING HOME.
1152
00:58:37,582 --> 00:58:38,883
I REALLY THINK
SOMEBODY SHOULD
TAKE A LOOK
1153
00:58:38,916 --> 00:58:39,817
AT THAT CUT, MAN.
1154
00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:42,219
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU THINK.
1155
00:58:42,252 --> 00:58:43,754
ALL RIGHT.
I'M REALLY SERIOUS
RIGHT NOW.
1156
00:58:43,788 --> 00:58:46,624
I DON'T WANT TO
SEE YOUR FACE.
1157
00:58:52,897 --> 00:58:54,899
HEY, ED.
LET'S TALK
ABOUT THIS, MAN.
1158
00:58:54,932 --> 00:58:56,567
HEY. DON'T WALK AWAY.
1159
00:58:56,601 --> 00:58:58,603
ED, I'M SORRY YOU
DIDN'T GET LAID, MAN.
1160
00:58:58,636 --> 00:59:01,639
I'M SORRY NOBODY WANTED
TO SLEEP WITH YOU.
1161
00:59:01,672 --> 00:59:02,840
COME BACK.
HEY, HEY.
1162
00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:04,675
FUCK JO AND SUSIE.
1163
00:59:04,709 --> 00:59:06,644
I KNOW.
RACHEL AND CASSIE.
1164
00:59:06,677 --> 00:59:09,680
THOSE CHICKS WILL FUCK YOU
AT THE SAME TIME.
1165
00:59:11,749 --> 00:59:13,083
Man: HOW YOU DOING TONIGHT?
1166
00:59:13,117 --> 00:59:15,753
FINE.
1167
00:59:15,786 --> 00:59:17,722
ALL I HAD WAS $1.05.
1168
00:59:17,755 --> 00:59:20,658
WOW. IT'S $1.10.
1169
00:59:20,691 --> 00:59:24,028
YES, BUT ALL I HAVE
IS $1.05,
1170
00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:25,896
SO IF YOU COULD
CUT ME SOME SLACK,
1171
00:59:25,930 --> 00:59:27,131
I'D REALLY
APPRECIATE THAT
1172
00:59:27,164 --> 00:59:30,300
BECAUSE I SPENT
LAST NIGHT IN PRISON.
1173
00:59:30,334 --> 00:59:33,738
OH. SO YOU'D LIKE
SPECIAL TREATMENT
1174
00:59:33,771 --> 00:59:35,205
BECAUSE YOU'RE
A FELON?
1175
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:38,342
I WILL COME BACK TOMORROW
WITH THE DIFFERENCE--
1176
00:59:38,375 --> 00:59:39,710
TWICE THE DIFFERENCE.
1177
00:59:39,744 --> 00:59:42,980
IT DOESN'T WORK
LIKE THAT.
1178
00:59:43,013 --> 00:59:44,014
I WANT TO GO HOME.
1179
00:59:44,048 --> 00:59:46,383
WELL, UNLESS YOU'VE
GOT $1.10,
1180
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:49,386
YOU AIN'T GOING
NOWHERE.
1181
00:59:49,419 --> 00:59:50,087
DO--NO!
1182
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:53,624
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU PEOPLE?
1183
00:59:53,658 --> 00:59:54,625
I PAY MY TAXES!
1184
00:59:54,659 --> 00:59:56,727
I DON'T THROW TRASH
ON THE STREET,
1185
00:59:56,761 --> 00:59:59,864
I DON'T PISS IN ALLEYWAYS
OR GRAFFITI WALLS.
1186
00:59:59,897 --> 01:00:03,367
I DON'T EVEN HAVE CHILDREN
IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM.
1187
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,804
I RECYCLE, MY GLASS,
MY PAPER, MY PLASTICS.
1188
01:00:06,837 --> 01:00:12,777
I'M A GOOD PERSON,
AND I JUST WANT
A BUS TOKEN!
1189
01:00:12,810 --> 01:00:15,412
BYE.
1190
01:00:15,445 --> 01:00:17,648
THAT'S IT!
THAT'S IT!
1191
01:00:17,682 --> 01:00:21,251
IF I'M NOT GOING HOME,
NO ONE IS!
1192
01:00:23,788 --> 01:00:26,691
YOU JUST CAN'T KEEP
OUT OF TROUBLE, CAN YOU?
1193
01:00:26,724 --> 01:00:29,093
FUCK! WHERE DID YOU
COME FROM?
1194
01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:31,696
YES. THIS IS
A PERFECT ENDING
TO A PERFECT WEEKEND.
1195
01:00:31,729 --> 01:00:34,665
I'M ARRESTING YOU
FOR DISTURBING
THE PEACE.
1196
01:00:34,699 --> 01:00:37,101
I JUST WANT
A BUS TOKEN.
1197
01:00:37,134 --> 01:00:38,736
AND FOR BEGGING.
1198
01:00:38,769 --> 01:00:41,371
HERE YOU GO.
1199
01:00:43,007 --> 01:00:43,841
YOU KNOW THIS GUY?
1200
01:00:43,874 --> 01:00:46,376
WE LIVE IN THE SAME
APARTMENT BUILDING.
1201
01:00:46,410 --> 01:00:49,680
I'LL TAKE HIM HOME.
1202
01:00:49,714 --> 01:00:51,181
ALL RIGHT.
1203
01:00:51,215 --> 01:00:52,750
IF YOU'RE SURE.
1204
01:00:52,783 --> 01:00:54,084
MM-HMM.
1205
01:01:01,826 --> 01:01:05,462
ARE YOU OK?
1206
01:01:05,495 --> 01:01:07,064
YEAH.
1207
01:01:11,068 --> 01:01:13,704
GO ON NOW. BLOW.
1208
01:01:13,738 --> 01:01:15,205
COME ON.
1209
01:01:15,239 --> 01:01:17,041
UGH.
1210
01:01:18,809 --> 01:01:19,676
EWW.
1211
01:01:19,710 --> 01:01:23,180
I'M SORRY.
IT'S BEEN A HELL
OF A 48 HOURS.
1212
01:01:23,213 --> 01:01:26,751
I GUESS IT ALL
JUST GOT A LITTLE
ON TOP OF ME.
1213
01:01:26,784 --> 01:01:30,821
SO WHAT'S HAPPENED,
IF YOU DON'T MIND
MY ASKING?
1214
01:01:32,422 --> 01:01:35,793
I HAVEN'T HAD SEX
IN OVER A YEAR.
1215
01:01:35,826 --> 01:01:36,894
WELL, I CAN SEE HOW
THAT WOULD--
1216
01:01:36,927 --> 01:01:40,765
AND MY EX, WHO I WAS
HOPING TO GET BACK
TOGETHER WITH,
1217
01:01:40,798 --> 01:01:43,200
GOT MARRIED...
OH. THAT IS
JUST--
1218
01:01:43,233 --> 01:01:45,736
AND I GOT ARRESTED
LAST NIGHT
1219
01:01:45,770 --> 01:01:48,839
FOR PICKING UP
A PROSTITUTE.
1220
01:01:50,808 --> 01:01:52,777
I DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS A PROSTITUTE...
1221
01:01:52,810 --> 01:01:53,911
WELL, NO WONDER
YOU WERE ARRESTED.
1222
01:01:53,944 --> 01:01:57,882
AND BECAUSE OF THAT,
I SPENT THE NIGHT
IN A PRISON CELL
1223
01:01:57,915 --> 01:02:00,417
FENDING OFF
THE AMOROUS ADVANCES
1224
01:02:00,450 --> 01:02:05,222
OF A VERY GIANT MAN
WITH A PIERCED SCROTUM.
1225
01:02:21,839 --> 01:02:26,176
PHEW! MUST BE
A LOT OF DEAD
ANIMALS ABOUT.
1226
01:02:26,210 --> 01:02:27,477
YOU CAN FART
ON COMMAND?
1227
01:02:27,511 --> 01:02:28,879
YOU CAN'T?
1228
01:02:28,913 --> 01:02:31,548
I TIRED ONCE
BUT JUST SHAT MYSELF.
1229
01:02:31,581 --> 01:02:34,318
IT'S NOT SOMETHING
YOU TRY TWICE.
1230
01:02:36,153 --> 01:02:38,188
OOH! THAT'S
A BIG CAT.
1231
01:02:38,222 --> 01:02:41,125
YEAH.
EWW.
1232
01:02:41,158 --> 01:02:42,860
I HOPE THE DOOR
OPENS SOON.
1233
01:02:42,893 --> 01:02:43,393
YEAH.
1234
01:02:48,966 --> 01:02:50,567
UH, THANKS
FOR THE BUS TOKEN.
1235
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:54,571
I'M FEELING A LOT,
UH, SANER NOW.
1236
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:56,540
HAS ANYONE
LOOKED AT THAT?
1237
01:02:56,573 --> 01:02:58,242
UH, IT WILL HEEL.
1238
01:02:58,275 --> 01:02:59,944
COME ON. IT LOOKS
REALLY NASTY.
1239
01:02:59,977 --> 01:03:03,480
I GOT SOME
ANTISEPTIC STUFF
AND A BAND-AID.
1240
01:03:03,513 --> 01:03:05,082
COME ON.
1241
01:03:08,986 --> 01:03:12,256
WOW! THOSE
ARE GREAT.
WHO ARE THEY BY?
1242
01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:14,992
A LITTLE-KNOWN
CONTEMPORARY PHOTOGRAPHER--
1243
01:03:15,025 --> 01:03:16,961
ELLEN REESE.
1244
01:03:16,994 --> 01:03:19,163
SHE'S VERY TALENTED.
1245
01:03:19,196 --> 01:03:21,866
WHY, THANK YOU.
1246
01:03:21,899 --> 01:03:22,833
WHA--
1247
01:03:22,867 --> 01:03:23,968
ELLEN.
YEAH.
1248
01:03:24,001 --> 01:03:26,971
I'M SORRY.
I NEVER ASKED
YOUR NAME.
1249
01:03:27,004 --> 01:03:28,472
I'M ED WAXMAN.
1250
01:03:28,505 --> 01:03:30,140
HI.
1251
01:03:30,174 --> 01:03:32,910
YOU DO THIS
PROFESSIONALLY?
1252
01:03:32,943 --> 01:03:34,178
I DO NOW.
1253
01:03:34,211 --> 01:03:35,212
I WAS A MODEL
FOR A LONG TIME,
1254
01:03:35,245 --> 01:03:39,283
BUT I QUIT TO
SPEND MORE TIME
BEHIND THE CAMERA.
1255
01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:41,919
THAT'S VERY BRAVE.
1256
01:03:41,952 --> 01:03:42,953
NOT REALLY.
1257
01:03:42,987 --> 01:03:44,588
YOU'RE NOT BRAVE
TO DO WHAT YOU
REALLY WANT TO DO.
1258
01:03:44,621 --> 01:03:47,892
YOU'RE JUST AN IDIOT
IF YOU DON'T.
1259
01:03:47,925 --> 01:03:49,994
DO YOU WANT A BLT?
1260
01:03:50,027 --> 01:03:53,898
I AM SO HUNGRY.
YES, PLEASE.
1261
01:03:55,599 --> 01:03:58,502
YOU NEVER TOLD ME
WHAT YOU DO.
1262
01:03:58,535 --> 01:03:59,870
ADVERTISING.
1263
01:03:59,904 --> 01:04:03,507
YOU'RE DEFINITELY
GETTING FIRED TOMORROW?
1264
01:04:03,540 --> 01:04:05,109
YEAH.
1265
01:04:09,479 --> 01:04:11,882
Man: * YOU'RE CALLING ME
1266
01:04:11,916 --> 01:04:15,019
* AND YOUR FRIENDS
TO YOUR ARM *
1267
01:04:15,052 --> 01:04:15,986
* AND YOU TREAT THEM LIKE...
1268
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:18,622
I WAS REALLY PLANNING
ON WORKING THIS WEEKEND,
1269
01:04:18,655 --> 01:04:19,723
YOU KNOW, REALLY
BUCKLING DOWN,
1270
01:04:19,756 --> 01:04:23,027
BUT I GOT SIDETRACKED
BY MY BROTHER'S
FUTILE ATTEMPT
1271
01:04:23,060 --> 01:04:24,361
TO GET ME LAID.
1272
01:04:24,394 --> 01:04:27,531
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
THE ONLY THING THAT
GOT FUCKED THIS WEEKEND
1273
01:04:27,564 --> 01:04:29,433
WAS MY CAREER.
1274
01:04:29,466 --> 01:04:30,134
SORRY TO HEAR IT.
1275
01:04:30,167 --> 01:04:31,435
* JUST ACT LIKE YOU'RE RIGHT
1276
01:04:31,468 --> 01:04:35,072
* WHEN YOU KNOW
THAT YOU'RE WRONG *
1277
01:04:35,105 --> 01:04:37,074
* JUST ACT LIKE
YOU'RE RIGHT... *
1278
01:04:37,107 --> 01:04:39,576
HOLD ON!
ED, ED, ED.
1279
01:04:39,609 --> 01:04:42,279
SORRY. THOUGHT YOU
WERE SOMEONE ELSE.
1280
01:04:42,312 --> 01:04:47,151
YOU KNOW, I'M--
I'M JUST NOT GOOD
WITH THE WOMEN.
1281
01:04:47,184 --> 01:04:49,453
I'M NOT LIKE
MY BROTHER COOPER.
1282
01:04:49,486 --> 01:04:51,088
THANK GOD.
WHAT?
1283
01:04:51,121 --> 01:04:54,091
THAT GUY IS THE MOST
SELF-CENTERED,
SHALLOW PERSON
1284
01:04:54,124 --> 01:04:55,292
I'VE EVER MET.
1285
01:04:55,325 --> 01:04:58,695
* FELT JUST LIKE
A GAVEL FELL... *
1286
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,065
HAVE YOU SEEN
THIS MAN?
1287
01:05:01,098 --> 01:05:02,166
* THE MORE IT HURTS...
1288
01:05:02,199 --> 01:05:03,567
UH-UH.
NO?
1289
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,369
NO.
1290
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,974
OK. HOW ABOUT
THAT MAN?
1291
01:05:10,007 --> 01:05:13,410
UH-UH.
THANKS.
1292
01:05:13,443 --> 01:05:16,313
I MEAN, DO NOT THINK
THAT COOPER IS
THE IDEAL MAN
1293
01:05:16,346 --> 01:05:18,382
THAT ALL WOMEN
ARE LOOKING FOR.
1294
01:05:18,415 --> 01:05:20,517
TO BE HONEST,
I THINK IT'S
A BIT SAD
1295
01:05:20,550 --> 01:05:23,053
THAT A GUY NEEDS
TO HAVE CONSTANT
REASSURANCE
1296
01:05:23,087 --> 01:05:25,089
THAT HE'S DESIRABLE.
1297
01:05:25,122 --> 01:05:28,592
IT'S A MASSIVE SIGN
OF INSECURITY.
1298
01:05:29,493 --> 01:05:31,996
YOU ARE SO MUCH
MORE...
1299
01:05:34,498 --> 01:05:37,001
* YOU DON'T NEED
TO TELL ME *
1300
01:05:37,034 --> 01:05:42,272
* LOVE'S LIKE AN ENEMY
1301
01:05:42,306 --> 01:05:44,308
* IF EVER YOU SHOULD STUMBLE
1302
01:05:44,341 --> 01:05:46,977
* YOU JUST NEED A FRIEND
1303
01:05:47,011 --> 01:05:48,645
* YOU DON'T
NEED TO BEND *
1304
01:05:48,678 --> 01:05:54,618
* JUST ACT LIKE YOU'RE RIGHT
WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE WRONG *
1305
01:05:54,651 --> 01:05:58,722
Cooper: YEAH. OK.
YOU'RE SURE YOU
HAVEN'T SEEN HIM?
1306
01:05:58,755 --> 01:06:01,425
NOT SINCE THE SIXTH GRADE?
1307
01:06:01,458 --> 01:06:05,695
OK. NO, NO.
UH, THANKS, SPENCE.
1308
01:06:05,729 --> 01:06:08,098
IF HE DOES HAPPEN TO GET
IN TOUCH WITH YOU TONIGHT,
1309
01:06:08,132 --> 01:06:10,100
GIVE ME A CALL, ALL RIGHT?
1310
01:06:10,134 --> 01:06:13,170
NO. I DON'T EXPECT HIM
TO EITHER.
1311
01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:44,034
HI, GOD.
1312
01:06:44,068 --> 01:06:45,369
COOPER WAXMAN HERE.
1313
01:06:45,402 --> 01:06:48,772
I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN
IN TOUCH FOR A WHILE.
1314
01:06:48,805 --> 01:06:52,109
YOU MIGHT KNOW ME BETTER
AT THE GLEN KYOTO MAN.
1315
01:06:54,711 --> 01:06:57,214
MY BROTHER ED HAS SORT OF
GONE MISSING.
1316
01:06:57,247 --> 01:06:58,182
WELL, WE ARGUED,
1317
01:06:58,215 --> 01:07:01,218
AND HE GOT THIS REALLY
NASTY BUMP ON HIS HEAD,
1318
01:07:01,251 --> 01:07:02,186
AND I HAVEN'T HEARD
FROM HIM SINCE,
1319
01:07:02,219 --> 01:07:04,754
SO I WAS THINKING THAT
MAYBE YOU COULD JUST GO
1320
01:07:04,788 --> 01:07:06,456
HAVE A QUICK LOOK AROUND
FOR HIM
1321
01:07:06,490 --> 01:07:08,158
AND BRING HIM BACK HOME.
1322
01:07:08,192 --> 01:07:11,228
NOW I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING.
1323
01:07:11,261 --> 01:07:16,566
YOU'RE THINKING, "WELL, SURE
I COULD DO THAT FOR YOU, COOPER,
1324
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:19,503
BUT WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?"
1325
01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:23,640
AND FAIR ENOUGH,
SO I TELL YOU WHAT.
1326
01:07:23,673 --> 01:07:28,378
IF YOU FIND ED AND YOU BRING HIM
BACK HOME SAFELY,
1327
01:07:28,412 --> 01:07:32,682
I'LL GIVE UP
ONE-NIGHT STANDS FOR, UH...
1328
01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:38,422
AW. COME ON, GOD.
I'M ONLY HUMAN.
1329
01:07:43,527 --> 01:07:46,563
I GOT IT.
1330
01:07:46,596 --> 01:07:50,100
AND THIS IS FAIR.
1331
01:07:50,134 --> 01:07:53,670
I'LL LEAD THE SORT OF LIFE
THAT ED WANTS ME TO LEAD.
1332
01:07:53,703 --> 01:07:57,374
I'LL GIVE UP THE ADS,
I'LL GIVE UP THE DAYTIME SOAPS,
1333
01:07:57,407 --> 01:08:04,548
AND I WILL CONCENTRATE
ON SERIOUS ACTING JOBS.
1334
01:08:04,581 --> 01:08:06,616
IS IT A DEAL?
1335
01:08:11,555 --> 01:08:13,823
IT'S A DEAL.
1336
01:08:13,857 --> 01:08:15,825
WELL, SO STOP HANGING
AROUND HERE
1337
01:08:15,859 --> 01:08:17,127
FEELING SO PLEASED WITH YOURSELF
1338
01:08:17,161 --> 01:08:20,664
AND GET OUT THERE
AND FIND MY BROTHER.
1339
01:08:22,266 --> 01:08:25,269
Man: * DON'T LOOK BACK
INTO THE SUN *
1340
01:08:25,302 --> 01:08:27,804
* NOW YOU KNOW
THAT THE TIME HAS COME *
1341
01:08:27,837 --> 01:08:31,341
* AND THEY SAID THAT
IT WOULD NEVER COME FOR YOU *
1342
01:08:31,375 --> 01:08:33,277
* OH, OH, OH, OH
1343
01:08:33,310 --> 01:08:36,513
* OH, MY FRIEND,
YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED *
1344
01:08:36,546 --> 01:08:38,348
* YOU'RE LOOKING ROUGH
AND LIVING STRANGE *
1345
01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:42,552
* AND I KNOW, YOU'VE GOT
A TASTE FOR IT, TOO *
1346
01:08:42,586 --> 01:08:44,354
* OH, OH, OH, OH
1347
01:08:44,388 --> 01:08:46,756
* DON'T LOOK BACK
INTO THE SUN *
1348
01:08:46,790 --> 01:08:49,593
* YOU'VE CAST YOUR PEARLS,
BUT YOU'RE ON THE RUN *
1349
01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:54,831
* AND ALL THE LIES YOU SAID,
WHO DID YOU SAVE? *
1350
01:08:57,334 --> 01:09:00,504
MM. HEY.
1351
01:09:00,537 --> 01:09:02,572
I MUST HAVE
FALLEN ASLEEP. UH...
1352
01:09:02,606 --> 01:09:08,212
YOU LOOKED SO PEACEFUL,
I DIDN'T WANT TO
DISTURB YOU.
1353
01:09:08,245 --> 01:09:11,881
OK. UH, I'M GONNA
GO NOW.
1354
01:09:11,915 --> 01:09:14,784
I BETTER GO,
SO SORRY.
1355
01:09:14,818 --> 01:09:16,786
OH, DON'T BE SORRY.
1356
01:09:16,820 --> 01:09:21,225
YOU WERE VERY SNUGGLY.
IT WAS NICE.
1357
01:09:21,258 --> 01:09:22,292
REALLY?
1358
01:09:22,326 --> 01:09:23,126
MM-HMM.
1359
01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:28,898
YOU'RE WELCOME TO STAY
IF YOU WANT TO.
1360
01:09:28,932 --> 01:09:35,439
OK. I GUESS I COULD
STAY.
1361
01:09:35,472 --> 01:09:39,443
IF YOU'D LIKE TO.
1362
01:09:39,476 --> 01:09:40,577
I COULD USE
THE SLEEP.
1363
01:09:40,610 --> 01:09:44,314
Man: * LOOKING TIMELESS
AND FRISKY *
1364
01:09:44,348 --> 01:09:47,817
* I FEEL LOST
LIKE THE SIXTIES *
1365
01:09:47,851 --> 01:09:51,355
* HAD WAY TOO MUCH PUBLICITY
1366
01:09:51,388 --> 01:09:55,425
* AND NO GIRLFRIEND
TO MISS ME *
1367
01:09:55,459 --> 01:09:58,695
* IT'S A PERFECT DAY
TO START *
1368
01:09:58,728 --> 01:10:03,933
* LOOKING
FOR A NEW SWEETHEART... *
1369
01:10:03,967 --> 01:10:05,402
OHH!
1370
01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:13,743
OHH...YEAH!
1371
01:10:13,777 --> 01:10:15,545
OH, GOD.
1372
01:10:22,452 --> 01:10:23,653
I'M GONNA CUM.
1373
01:10:23,687 --> 01:10:25,622
OH, NO! OH, NO!
NO YET.
1374
01:10:25,655 --> 01:10:29,225
JUST A LITTLE
LONGER.
1375
01:10:31,561 --> 01:10:34,398
* ALL THE GIRLS
COME OUT... *
1376
01:10:34,431 --> 01:10:35,332
HYAH!
UNH!
1377
01:10:35,365 --> 01:10:38,835
Ellen: OH, YEAH!
OHH! OH, YEAH!
1378
01:10:38,868 --> 01:10:41,471
* ON THE TOWN...
1379
01:10:45,309 --> 01:10:48,612
COME ON! OHH!
OHH!
1380
01:10:48,645 --> 01:10:50,547
COME ON! OHH!
1381
01:10:50,580 --> 01:10:52,816
ALMOST THERE.
1382
01:10:57,554 --> 01:10:58,388
OHH!
1383
01:10:59,188 --> 01:11:01,491
HOLY SHIT! THAT'S IT!
I'VE GOT IT!
1384
01:11:01,525 --> 01:11:03,727
I GOT IT.
YOU GOT WHAT?
1385
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,895
I GOT AN IDEA
FOR WORK.
1386
01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:07,397
WHAT?
1387
01:11:09,399 --> 01:11:11,401
OH. THAT'S ROMANTIC.
1388
01:11:11,435 --> 01:11:12,869
OH, NO. THAT'S NOT
WHAT I MEAN.
1389
01:11:12,902 --> 01:11:15,772
I WASN'T EVEN
THINKING ABOUT WORK,
NOT AT ALL,
1390
01:11:15,805 --> 01:11:16,873
BUT IT JUST
SUDDENLY HIT ME,
1391
01:11:16,906 --> 01:11:20,043
YOU KNOW, THE IDEA
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR ALL WEEKEND,
1392
01:11:20,076 --> 01:11:24,614
SO I GOT TO GO.
I CAN SAVE
MY CAREER.
1393
01:11:29,519 --> 01:11:32,889
YOU KNOW WHAT,
THOUGH?
1394
01:11:32,922 --> 01:11:35,392
THAT WAS AMAZING.
1395
01:11:35,425 --> 01:11:36,393
YOU WERE AMAZING.
1396
01:11:36,426 --> 01:11:39,563
YOU ARE
THE BEST THING THAT
HAS HAPPENED TO ME
1397
01:11:39,596 --> 01:11:42,832
SINCE...
1398
01:11:42,866 --> 01:11:44,734
EVER.
1399
01:11:48,772 --> 01:11:50,674
I GOT TO GO.
1400
01:11:54,744 --> 01:11:56,380
HEY, ED!
1401
01:11:56,413 --> 01:11:57,681
WHERE HAVE YOU,
BEEN, MAN?
1402
01:11:57,714 --> 01:11:58,548
I'VE BEEN
WORRIED SICK.
1403
01:11:58,582 --> 01:11:59,683
I CALLED EVERYBODY
IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK,
1404
01:11:59,716 --> 01:12:03,620
I'VE BEEN TO THE HOSPITALS,
THE MORTUARIES, EVERYTHING.
1405
01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:04,521
WHERE'S THE CAMERA?
1406
01:12:04,554 --> 01:12:06,523
HEY, ED. I'VE BEEN
WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU.
1407
01:12:06,556 --> 01:12:07,724
WITH THAT BUMP
ON YOUR HEAD,
1408
01:12:07,757 --> 01:12:08,925
YOU COULD HAVE HAD
AMNESIA,
1409
01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:10,360
BEEN WANDERING
AROUND THE EARTH,
1410
01:12:10,394 --> 01:12:11,060
NOT KNOWING
WHO YOU WERE,
1411
01:12:11,094 --> 01:12:12,028
AND I'D FIND YOU
YEARS LATER
1412
01:12:12,061 --> 01:12:14,498
AS AN OLD MAN
WHEN I'D TAKE
MY GRANDCHILDREN
1413
01:12:14,531 --> 01:12:16,400
TO THE CIRCUS
ONLY TO DISCOVER
1414
01:12:16,433 --> 01:12:18,435
MY LONG LOST BROTHER
IN RING 3
1415
01:12:18,468 --> 01:12:20,837
BEING THE BULL'S-EYE
FOR A GAME
OF BUTT DARTS
1416
01:12:20,870 --> 01:12:22,305
BY THE MIDGET PIRATES.
1417
01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:25,842
YEAH. I WAS HAVING SEX
WITH THE UNBELIEVABLY
GORGEOUS WOMAN DOWN THE HALL.
1418
01:12:25,875 --> 01:12:27,544
ED, COME ON, MAN.
I DON'T CARE
1419
01:12:27,577 --> 01:12:28,978
ABOUT THE WHOLE
GETTING LAID THING.
1420
01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:29,913
YOU DON'T NEED
TO LIE.
1421
01:12:29,946 --> 01:12:31,715
I'M JUST GLAD
YOU'RE OK.
1422
01:12:33,116 --> 01:12:36,453
ED? OH. YOU LEFT
THIS AT MY PLACE.
1423
01:12:36,486 --> 01:12:38,388
CALL ME.
1424
01:12:38,422 --> 01:12:41,024
OH, HO, MAN!
1425
01:12:41,057 --> 01:12:43,427
NOW THAT'S
IMPRESSIVE.
1426
01:12:43,460 --> 01:12:46,463
GUESS THAT'S WHY
THEY CALL YOU
THE ALMIGHTY, HUH?
1427
01:12:46,496 --> 01:12:48,465
HEY. WHERE'S
THE VIDEO CAMERA?
1428
01:12:48,498 --> 01:12:49,433
THE VIDEO CAMERA?
1429
01:12:49,466 --> 01:12:50,467
YEAH. I NEED IT NOW.
1430
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:53,870
OK. FUCK.
1431
01:13:02,979 --> 01:13:06,550
ED, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?
1432
01:13:06,583 --> 01:13:07,484
GETTING MY JOB BACK.
1433
01:13:07,517 --> 01:13:09,919
Man: * I MET A GIRL
FROM ANOTHER PLANET *
1434
01:13:09,953 --> 01:13:12,822
* YEAH, YEAH
1435
01:13:15,158 --> 01:13:16,826
GO GET THEM.
1436
01:13:27,771 --> 01:13:31,875
WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
DID YOU GET ALL
THE FOOTAGE YOU NEEDED?
1437
01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:33,510
YOU KIDDING?
1438
01:13:33,543 --> 01:13:36,480
I WAS CRAZY TO THINK
THAT IN JUST ONE DAY
1439
01:13:36,513 --> 01:13:37,280
I COULD FILM
ALL THE STUFF
1440
01:13:37,313 --> 01:13:40,049
THAT TOOK YEARS
TO FILL MY ARCHIVE.
1441
01:13:40,083 --> 01:13:44,688
I MEAN, I THREW AWAY
EVERYTHING I NEEDED
TO SAVE MY CAREER.
1442
01:13:44,721 --> 01:13:47,023
YOU WANT YOUR
ARCHIVED FOOTAGE?
1443
01:13:47,056 --> 01:13:49,926
OH. COME WITH ME.
1444
01:13:49,959 --> 01:13:52,562
COOP,
IT IS TOO LATE, OK?
1445
01:13:52,596 --> 01:13:55,632
THE MEETING TAKES
PLACE AT 3:00.
I'M SCREWED.
1446
01:13:55,665 --> 01:13:57,166
WELL, THEN WE BETTER
HUSTLE, HUH, BUDDY?
1447
01:13:57,200 --> 01:14:01,070
COME ON. I GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
1448
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:06,910
WHAT ARE WE DOING BACK
AT MOM AND DAD'S PLACE?
1449
01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:08,612
COME ON.
1450
01:14:15,118 --> 01:14:19,155
Man: * ONCE UPON A TIME
NOT TOO LONG AGO *
1451
01:14:19,188 --> 01:14:23,827
* WE TOOK A DAY OUT
IN MANCHESTER... *
1452
01:14:23,860 --> 01:14:27,163
THOUGHT THESE MIGHT
COME IN HANDY ONE DAY.
1453
01:14:27,196 --> 01:14:28,832
GO AHEAD.
1454
01:14:40,577 --> 01:14:41,878
THIS COULD DO IT?
1455
01:14:41,911 --> 01:14:44,080
YEAH?
1456
01:14:44,113 --> 01:14:46,015
SHIT.
1457
01:14:46,049 --> 01:14:47,817
WE GOT TO GO.
1458
01:14:53,256 --> 01:14:56,593
OH. OOH! SHIT!
1459
01:14:56,626 --> 01:14:59,262
OH, GOD!
1460
01:14:59,295 --> 01:15:02,932
OH, BOY!
1461
01:15:02,966 --> 01:15:05,735
FOUND IT.
HERE YOU GO.
1462
01:15:05,769 --> 01:15:07,604
* AND WE ALL FALL DOWN
1463
01:15:07,637 --> 01:15:12,542
* THERE'S NOT ENOUGH HOURS
IN THE TRIP *
1464
01:15:12,576 --> 01:15:16,980
SO WE HAVE CLEARLY
NOT BEEN RESPONSIVE
TO YOUR NEEDS.
1465
01:15:17,013 --> 01:15:19,549
I MEAN, GREAT BRIDGE
IS A LEADER.
1466
01:15:19,583 --> 01:15:21,317
IT'S AN INNOVATOR.
1467
01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:24,187
IT'S A GROUNDBREAKING
INSURANCE COMPANY.
1468
01:15:24,220 --> 01:15:27,156
IT'S UNIQUE,
IT'S EXCITING.
1469
01:15:27,190 --> 01:15:29,058
WITH INSPIRED
LEADERSHIP,
1470
01:15:29,092 --> 01:15:30,326
IF I MAY BE
SO BOLD.
1471
01:15:30,359 --> 01:15:33,997
LET ME ASK YOU.
WHAT TYPE OF ADVERTISING
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
1472
01:15:34,030 --> 01:15:37,734
WELL, I THINK WE
NEED TO HAVE A FACE
OF GREAT BRIDGE INSURANCE,
1473
01:15:37,767 --> 01:15:41,805
YOU KNOW, A SPOKESMAN,
SOMEONE WHO REPRESENTS
EVERYTHING WE STAND FOR.
1474
01:15:41,838 --> 01:15:46,009
SOMEONE ATTRACTIVE,
INTELLIGENT,
APPROACHABLE.
1475
01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:49,212
MM. ANYONE IN MIND?
1476
01:15:49,245 --> 01:15:50,980
YES.
1477
01:15:51,014 --> 01:15:53,817
ME.
1478
01:15:53,850 --> 01:15:54,851
RIGHT.
1479
01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:58,354
WELL, I THINK WE'VE
GOT OURSELVES
A POSTER BOY.
1480
01:15:58,387 --> 01:16:00,123
I KNEW WE COULD
WORK TOGETHER.
1481
01:16:00,156 --> 01:16:04,227
YOU GUYS ARE
UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE.
1482
01:16:04,260 --> 01:16:05,294
WE TRY.
1483
01:16:05,328 --> 01:16:07,296
AND YOU'RE FIRED.
1484
01:16:07,330 --> 01:16:08,732
I HATE ASS-KISSERS.
1485
01:16:08,765 --> 01:16:10,700
IF I WANTED A BUNCH
OF SYCOPHANTS
1486
01:16:10,734 --> 01:16:11,534
WHO WERE ONLY
AFTER MY MONEY,
1487
01:16:11,567 --> 01:16:13,937
I COULD JUST HANG OUT
WITH MY FAMILY.
1488
01:16:13,970 --> 01:16:15,171
MR. LANSON, HAVE A SEAT.
1489
01:16:15,204 --> 01:16:16,806
WEREN'T YOU FIRED?
1490
01:16:16,840 --> 01:16:18,708
SHUT UP, ROGER.
1491
01:16:18,742 --> 01:16:22,812
MR. LANSON, I THINK
YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS.
1492
01:16:28,251 --> 01:16:32,622
AAH!
OH, FUCK!
1493
01:16:35,825 --> 01:16:37,060
OHH!
1494
01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:40,730
OHH, SHIT! UGH!
1495
01:16:41,665 --> 01:16:43,599
OH, GOD. AAH!
1496
01:16:45,702 --> 01:16:47,904
AAH!
1497
01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:49,005
AAH! SHIT!
1498
01:16:50,039 --> 01:16:52,341
AAH! OHH!
1499
01:16:53,843 --> 01:16:55,078
UNH!
1500
01:16:57,747 --> 01:16:58,815
OW!
1501
01:16:58,848 --> 01:17:01,685
Ed, voice-over:
THE UNEXPECTED
HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
1502
01:17:01,718 --> 01:17:03,119
WHOA! OHH!
1503
01:17:03,152 --> 01:17:07,356
WITH GREAT BRIDGE INSURANCE,
YOU'RE COVERED.
1504
01:17:09,859 --> 01:17:11,695
Cooper, voice-over:
AND SO ED WON THE ACCOUNT BACK.
1505
01:17:11,728 --> 01:17:14,931
HE GOT FRANK'S OFFICE,
AND BUSINESS BOOMED.
1506
01:17:14,964 --> 01:17:16,733
TO SHOW THERE WAS
NO HARD FEELINGS,
1507
01:17:16,766 --> 01:17:19,135
HE EVEN LET ROGER STAY.
1508
01:17:19,168 --> 01:17:20,670
ED AND ELLEN MOVED IN TOGETHER,
1509
01:17:20,704 --> 01:17:22,806
AND I HEARD
THAT CATHY GOT FAT
1510
01:17:22,839 --> 01:17:24,974
AND JACK CAUGHT A DISEASE
WHICH CAUSED HIS TESTICLES
1511
01:17:25,008 --> 01:17:27,176
TO SWELL TO THE SIZE
OF CANTALOUPES.
1512
01:17:27,210 --> 01:17:30,179
TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING
WORKING OUT PERFECTLY.
1513
01:17:30,213 --> 01:17:33,416
IT'S YOUR BROTHER'S
BIG DAY, HUH?
1514
01:17:34,017 --> 01:17:37,386
WISH HIM LUCK
FROM ME.
1515
01:17:37,420 --> 01:17:41,725
AND, YES, I EVEN KEPT
MY PROMISE TO GOD.
1516
01:17:41,758 --> 01:17:43,192
I DON'T KNOW IF IT
WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA
TO GIVE UP
1517
01:17:43,226 --> 01:17:45,795
THOSE ADS
AND STUFF, MAN.
1518
01:17:45,829 --> 01:17:46,763
ARE YOU KIDDING?
1519
01:17:46,796 --> 01:17:50,033
COOPER, IN YOUR FIRST
SERIOUS ACTING AUDITION,
1520
01:17:50,066 --> 01:17:51,801
YOU LANDED THE ROLE
OF HAMLET.
1521
01:17:51,835 --> 01:17:53,036
THAT'S MASSIVE.
1522
01:17:53,069 --> 01:17:54,103
YEAH.
1523
01:17:54,137 --> 01:17:56,840
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I'M SWEATING LIKE
A BULLET HERE.
1524
01:17:56,873 --> 01:17:59,142
I'M NERVOUS AS HELL.
1525
01:17:59,843 --> 01:18:01,745
YOU'RE GONNA BE
GREAT, COOP.
1526
01:18:01,778 --> 01:18:05,081
GOOD LUCK.
ALL RIGHT?
1527
01:18:07,817 --> 01:18:09,819
OH, HEY, ED.
1528
01:18:11,154 --> 01:18:14,924
HEY, MAN. THANKS
FOR COMING, HUH?
1529
01:18:14,958 --> 01:18:18,394
I WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR THE WORLD.
1530
01:18:18,427 --> 01:18:21,164
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
1531
01:18:21,197 --> 01:18:23,266
THANKS, BUD.
1532
01:18:29,072 --> 01:18:30,940
HERE WE GO.
1533
01:18:33,209 --> 01:18:36,345
AND IN THIS
HARSH WORLD,
1534
01:18:36,379 --> 01:18:38,882
DRAW THY BREATH
IN PAIN
1535
01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:41,818
TO TELL MY STORY,
1536
01:18:41,851 --> 01:18:47,323
AND THE REST
IS SILENCE.
1537
01:19:04,307 --> 01:19:10,479
Man: * HOLD ME CLOSE,
DON'T LET ME GO *
1538
01:19:10,513 --> 01:19:11,948
* OH, NO
1539
01:19:11,981 --> 01:19:17,787
* I, YES, I LOVE YOU,
AND I THINK THAT YOU KNOW *
1540
01:19:17,821 --> 01:19:19,455
* THAT YOU KNOW
1541
01:19:19,488 --> 01:19:23,292
* WITH YOUR LOVE LIGHT SHINING
1542
01:19:23,326 --> 01:19:27,196
* EVERY CLOUD'S GOT
A SILVER LINING... *
1543
01:19:27,230 --> 01:19:30,199
JESUS CHRIST!
1544
01:19:30,233 --> 01:19:31,868
HA!
1545
01:19:35,004 --> 01:19:39,042
HOLY SHIT, WOMAN.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF WAXING?
1546
01:19:40,944 --> 01:19:42,545
SHIT.
1547
01:19:42,578 --> 01:19:43,446
IT'S YOUR LINE
THAT GETS ME.
1548
01:19:43,479 --> 01:19:46,215
I GOT IT THIS TIME.
THIRD TIME'S
A CHARM.
1549
01:19:47,851 --> 01:19:49,919
I CAN'T EVEN LISTEN
TO YOU.
1550
01:19:49,953 --> 01:19:51,354
I CAN'T LISTEN
TO YOU.
1551
01:19:51,387 --> 01:19:54,824
AND WERE YOU CLOSE
TO THE DECEASED?
1552
01:19:54,858 --> 01:19:55,959
I WAS HER LOVER.
1553
01:19:55,992 --> 01:20:00,029
OH, MY. SO YOU HAVE
YOUR LIQUOR LICENSE.
1554
01:20:00,063 --> 01:20:03,499
MARK.
1555
01:20:03,532 --> 01:20:08,437
I BET YOU FART
LIKE A BUNNY.
1556
01:20:08,471 --> 01:20:10,439
Man: "FUCK LIKE A BUNNY."
1557
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:14,010
I LIKE "FART
LIKE A BUNNY."
1558
01:20:14,043 --> 01:20:20,449
BUT WHAT CAN WE NOW
TAKE AWAY FROM HER LIFE?
1559
01:20:22,986 --> 01:20:23,920
AND I'D FIND YOU
YEARS FROM NOW
1560
01:20:23,953 --> 01:20:26,289
AS AN OLD MAN
WHEN I'D TAKE
MY GRANDCHILDREN
1561
01:20:26,322 --> 01:20:27,623
TO THE CIRCUS
ONLY TO DISCOVER
1562
01:20:27,656 --> 01:20:30,559
MY LONG LOST BROTHER
DANGLING FROM
THE TRAPEZE
1563
01:20:30,593 --> 01:20:34,630
BY THE BUSINESS END
OF SOME CHINESE
ANAL BEADS.
1564
01:20:34,663 --> 01:20:35,331
MARK.
1565
01:20:35,364 --> 01:20:36,299
AND I'D FIND YOU
YEARS FROM NOW
1566
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:38,301
AS AN OLD MAN
WHEN I'D TAKE
MY GRANDCHILDREN
1567
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:39,936
TO THE CIRCUS
ONLY TO DISCOVER
1568
01:20:39,969 --> 01:20:42,906
MY LONG LOST BROTHER
IN THE TANK
GETTING MOUNTED
1569
01:20:42,939 --> 01:20:46,042
BY THE TRANSVESTITE
HIPPO LADY.
1570
01:20:46,075 --> 01:20:46,775
MARK.
1571
01:20:46,809 --> 01:20:48,511
NOW WHY WOULD GOD
TAKE THE LIFE
1572
01:20:48,544 --> 01:20:51,480
OF ONE SO HOT
WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY
1573
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:58,054
UGLY, LOOSE, GROSS
BITCHES TO CHOOSE FROM.
1574
01:20:58,087 --> 01:20:58,787
FUCK.
1575
01:20:58,821 --> 01:21:00,323
FUCKING LIGHTNING BOLT
THEIR ASS
1576
01:21:00,356 --> 01:21:02,591
WHEN YOU'VE GOT THESE
BEAUTIFUL, PRISTINE,
1577
01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:06,062
TIGHT-LIPPED,
WONDERFUL ANGELS.
1578
01:21:06,095 --> 01:21:08,164
HA HA HA!
1579
01:21:12,201 --> 01:21:13,236
WHAT DID YOU DO?
1580
01:21:13,269 --> 01:21:17,006
IT'S, LIKE, SAD.
8, MAYBE 9 TIMES
I'M PEEING ON HER.
1581
01:21:17,040 --> 01:21:19,475
SHE'S DOWN THERE,
SHE'S LICKING MY STAR,
1582
01:21:19,508 --> 01:21:21,344
FUCKING BLOWING IT
IN HER HAIR.
1583
01:21:21,377 --> 01:21:22,611
IS SHE INTO BESTIALITY?
1584
01:21:22,645 --> 01:21:24,380
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR'S
GOT THAT GREAT DANE,
1585
01:21:24,413 --> 01:21:25,648
AND SHE'S JUST LIKE
TRYING TO GET HIM,
1586
01:21:25,681 --> 01:21:27,917
WHERE SHE'S, LIKE,
PUTTING PEANUT BUTTER
ALL OVER HER SNOOTCHIE
1587
01:21:27,951 --> 01:21:28,784
AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
1588
01:21:28,817 --> 01:21:30,686
I MEAN, THAT'S--
THAT'S NOT RIGHT, IS IT?
1589
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:32,021
THAT'S RIGHT,
IS IT?
1590
01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:32,855
SHE'S GOT, LIKE,
A LOB WEDGE,
1591
01:21:32,888 --> 01:21:34,357
AND SHE'S JUST
LIKE, "OH, YEAH, YEAH."
1592
01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:36,960
I GOT TO GET THE THING
REGRIPPED.
1593
01:21:36,993 --> 01:21:38,427
AHEM.
OH, MAN.
1594
01:21:38,461 --> 01:21:41,064
SHE'S COOL, THOUGH.
WE TALK A LOT.
1595
01:21:41,097 --> 01:21:43,099
IT'S NICE.
SHE'S REALLY SENSITIVE.
1596
01:21:43,132 --> 01:21:47,336
YEAH. SHE WAS SHOVING
MY G.I. JOE UP THERE
AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
1597
01:21:48,437 --> 01:21:50,306
Man: * WANT YOU TO?
1598
01:21:50,339 --> 01:21:52,408
* WELL, I REALLY FEEL
1599
01:21:52,441 --> 01:21:55,478
* FEEL LIKE YOU WANT ME TO
1600
01:21:55,511 --> 01:21:57,513
* DO YOU FEEL
1601
01:21:57,546 --> 01:22:00,083
* FEEL LIKE I WANT YOU TO?
1602
01:22:00,116 --> 01:22:02,618
* I REALLY FEEL
1603
01:22:02,651 --> 01:22:05,621
* FEEL LIKE YOU WANT ME TO
1604
01:22:05,654 --> 01:22:07,957
* DO YOU FEEL?
1605
01:22:07,991 --> 01:22:10,393
* I REALLY FEEL
1606
01:22:10,426 --> 01:22:12,628
* DO, DO YOU FEEL?
1607
01:22:12,661 --> 01:22:16,099
* BECAUSE I REALLY
FEEL IT, TOO *
1608
01:22:16,132 --> 01:22:17,967
* DO YOU FEEL
1609
01:22:18,001 --> 01:22:20,669
* JUST LIKE I WANT YOU TO?
1610
01:22:20,703 --> 01:22:23,172
* YEAH, DO YOU FEEL IT?
1611
01:22:23,206 --> 01:22:25,674
* DO YOU FEEL, YEAH?
1612
01:22:25,708 --> 01:22:28,377
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE ENTERTAINMENT
1613
01:22:28,411 --> 01:22:32,681
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
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