subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for The Pass (2016)

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional) Download

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French Download

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:05,416 Yeah? 2 00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:09,625 Uh... uh... no. 3 00:01:09,791 --> 00:01:11,375 Say again? 4 00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:13,726 Come on... what? 5 00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:16,916 Jumping? Huh? Music? 6 00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:18,125 No, mate. 7 00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:20,666 Mmm. Uh... 8 00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:22,416 Try next door. 9 00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:26,791 Ta-ta. 10 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,583 You playing music now? 11 00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:38,791 Yeah. Can't sleep with the shower on. 12 00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:51,083 That my protein shake? 13 00:01:58,625 --> 00:01:59,625 Ow! 14 00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:03,583 Ooh. Ooh! Oi! Oi! 15 00:02:09,416 --> 00:02:11,791 Hey, you hear Jojo got sucked off by a lady journalist? 16 00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:13,517 Yeah, she had a deadline. 17 00:02:13,541 --> 00:02:16,166 He made her give him shines before he talked to her. 18 00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:18,416 - Who told you that? - Jojo. 19 00:02:19,666 --> 00:02:21,017 You don't like Jojo? 20 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:24,208 Make a lovely couple, you two. Who makes the tea? 21 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,041 You reckon he'll play tomorrow? 22 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:30,368 - He strikes the ball clean. - Can't control it though. 23 00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:31,726 Yeah, but his left foot, though. 24 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,708 Yeah, he thinks he's Roberto fucking Carlos. 25 00:02:33,791 --> 00:02:35,708 Hits the target about as much too. 26 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,750 Well, that ain't gonna help you sleep. 27 00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:43,333 Doughnut. 28 00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:45,208 Have to clean your teeth again! 29 00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:52,250 I need some pussy, man. 30 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,541 It's killing me. 31 00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:58,083 We could get a girl, take it in turns, one on, one off. 32 00:02:58,958 --> 00:03:00,476 You know them girls hanging in the lobby? 33 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,333 Yeah. One of them looked like your sister. 34 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,500 Shut up! 35 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:04,916 Oh, Kemme! 36 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,750 Danny and Leesy slipped them security guys some money 37 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:09,291 to send them a couple of birds up. 38 00:03:09,708 --> 00:03:10,833 - Did they? - Yeah. 39 00:03:10,916 --> 00:03:12,666 But Jojo reckons they're plants, though. 40 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:14,833 What? Like asparagus? 41 00:03:14,916 --> 00:03:16,625 No, like special agents, man. 42 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,267 They want their home teams to win, so they come 43 00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:19,416 here and have sex with us. 44 00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:22,666 Right. I'm enjoying this theory. 45 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:25,390 Because when you cum, that's your energy gone. Everyone knows that. 46 00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:27,791 What PE syllabus did your school do? 47 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,083 What do I need GCSEs for? This is the Champions League, man. 48 00:03:31,583 --> 00:03:32,708 We made it. 49 00:03:32,875 --> 00:03:34,416 After tomorrow, ain't no looking back. 50 00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:36,375 We ain't even gonna play tomorrow. 51 00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:38,258 We'll just be keeping the bench warm all game, 52 00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:40,208 just like last week and the week before. 53 00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:43,166 Jase... you are having me on, right? 54 00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:47,333 We're gonna start tomorrow. I hope you do know that. 55 00:03:47,916 --> 00:03:50,791 Right. We've been at this academy since we were eight. 56 00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,166 Uh, seven. 57 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,000 All them other kids have fallen by the way. 58 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:56,541 Now, it's just me, you and Jojo. 59 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:58,750 It's that new generation, we've been groomed. 60 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:00,416 Jase, this is our time. 61 00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,208 I got something to show you. 62 00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,583 Jojo and Leesy tag-teamed these girls in Blackburn. 63 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,767 Nah, nah, nah. I don't wanna watch 64 00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:13,250 Jojo's sorry arse bobbing up and down. 65 00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,500 Fucking hell. 66 00:04:15,916 --> 00:04:17,309 I mean, this is it. 67 00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:21,125 Oi, my dick's bigger than his. 68 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,041 This is it, this is it. This bit kills me. 69 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,250 Oh, no! 70 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,333 "I don't want! No!" 71 00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,791 That is classic! 72 00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:40,583 Have you seen his missus? 73 00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,583 Leesy's? Yeah, man. 74 00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:45,208 Do you feel bad for her? 75 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:49,208 No, no, no. She must have known that man's got urges when she married him. 76 00:04:49,291 --> 00:04:51,791 Always dipping his willy somewhere he shouldn't be. 77 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,791 How comes it never gets in the papers? 78 00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:55,435 It's not like he even tries to hide it. 79 00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:56,916 He's got a deal with them. 80 00:04:57,583 --> 00:04:58,583 Huh? 81 00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:01,208 You got a story you wanna keep out the papers, 82 00:05:01,291 --> 00:05:03,125 and you gotta find another story. Right? 83 00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:04,875 That is all, they don't actually care. 84 00:05:06,416 --> 00:05:07,583 Your agent not tell you this? 85 00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:09,500 Hmm? Oh, no. 86 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:11,791 My dad handles all that. 87 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,375 You wanna get yourself a proper agent, mate. 88 00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:19,291 See that? 89 00:05:20,291 --> 00:05:21,333 What? 90 00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:23,041 That. 91 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,750 What's that? 92 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:28,916 That is my celebration. 93 00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:31,083 - That? - Mmm. 94 00:05:31,625 --> 00:05:34,583 I'm going to trademark that. Put it on all my merchandise. 95 00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,666 It looks like you got a bit of dirt in your eye. 96 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:39,916 Ah, ten years from now, all the little kids are going to be doing that. 97 00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:42,125 Are they, Ade? 98 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:43,500 Yeah, you watch. 99 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,250 What? 100 00:05:48,291 --> 00:05:49,958 Cor, you black boys. 101 00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:51,958 Always moisturizing. 102 00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:57,416 Hey, what was the name of that girl you pulled in that club? 103 00:05:57,708 --> 00:05:58,708 Echoes? 104 00:05:58,791 --> 00:05:59,875 Echoes, Echoes, Echoes. 105 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:02,000 Go on. 106 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:03,791 Did, uh... 107 00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:05,791 did she have a tight pussy? 108 00:06:05,916 --> 00:06:08,125 - Was it shaved? - Can I ask you a question, Ade? 109 00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:09,291 Is it dirty? 110 00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:13,916 How do you square your all-consuming hunt for minge with your Christian faith? 111 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,226 What kind of question's that? 112 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,166 What, just giving you some practice for all them interviews you're doing. 113 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:21,125 Yeah, well. You know... 114 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,250 Black warrior prince needs his pussy, so... 115 00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:26,833 - He likes talking about it. - Huh? 116 00:06:26,916 --> 00:06:28,083 More pussy than you. 117 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,500 You been checking? 118 00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:31,416 Ignorant white man. 119 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:32,791 I wouldn't worry, Ade. 120 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,541 I'm sure your dad's covered you in a blanket of prayer. 121 00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:37,125 Sweet. Make fun of my dad! 122 00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:39,583 Oh! He's a nutter and you've said it yourself. 123 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,851 Yeah, well, he's my dad, all right? 124 00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:42,809 Do you know Jesus, Jason? 125 00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:45,041 Do you know him in your heart? Straight off the bat. 126 00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:47,208 - Don't start... - "Oh, hello, Mr Lotomo. 127 00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,051 - Do you know Jesus?" - All right, all right. 128 00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:52,583 Like, what was that, erm... What was that thing he said? Erm... 129 00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:55,500 "If there is sin in your..." 130 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,476 "If there is sin in your heart, 131 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,916 cast it out!" 132 00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:03,416 "How can a man outrun the devil, if the devil is in your heart?" 133 00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:06,517 It's the longest grace I've ever heard. 134 00:07:06,541 --> 00:07:08,916 My tea was cold by the time he'd finished. 135 00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:10,250 Imagine living with him. 136 00:07:11,791 --> 00:07:12,833 You believe him, though? 137 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,833 - Some of it. - Yeah? 138 00:07:17,416 --> 00:07:20,041 - Do you pray? - Yeah. 139 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:22,541 What for? 140 00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:24,916 You should try it. 141 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,875 Don't you fucking dare... 142 00:07:26,958 --> 00:07:28,791 - What? - No, don't try and convert me. 143 00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:31,125 - I'm just saying. - You're a closet nut. 144 00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,541 He cracks me up, your dad. 145 00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:36,625 He likes you. 146 00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:38,916 Oh, by telling me I got the devil in my heart? 147 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,750 That's his... that's his way. That actually means he respects you. 148 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:45,161 Does he ever tell you you got the devil in your heart? 149 00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:48,375 You recording this? 150 00:07:52,916 --> 00:07:54,833 You'll wipe over the tape, man. 151 00:07:54,916 --> 00:07:57,041 What, Jojo's skanky home porn? 152 00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,791 There's a loss to world cinema. 153 00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:01,458 Stop pointing it at me. 154 00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:06,875 Oi! 155 00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:18,875 What do you reckon about Deano? 156 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,416 - Deano? - Mmm. 157 00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:23,833 If Deano was a lolly, 158 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,083 he'd lick himself to death. 159 00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:33,434 Yeah, a couple of weeks back after drills, we was all in the shower... 160 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,458 Hmm? 161 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,916 And everyone was talking about squad. 162 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,434 These times, we didn't know we'd be in it. 163 00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:40,250 - Yeah. - And Deano was there 164 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,666 and before I thought, "This guy's a prick. 165 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,934 Always in your face in training, giving you a little kick." 166 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,916 And he come up to me and he's all asking me about myself. 167 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,500 Like, man's taking a proper interest, you know, Deano, 168 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:51,958 he's all saying, "Don't sweat it. 169 00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:53,625 I know what it's like. Don't worry." 170 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:55,375 And I'm thinking, 171 00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:57,098 - "This guy's actually all right." - Yeah. 172 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,791 And then... 173 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,416 Then I notice everyone is laughing, 174 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,875 because Deano is pissing down my leg. The whole time we're talking, 175 00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:08,541 he is pissing down my leg in the shower. 176 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:11,916 Why you laughing? 177 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:16,625 Oh, he's like that with everyone. 178 00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:18,228 Oh, what, has he pissed down your leg? 179 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,208 Nah. 180 00:09:21,916 --> 00:09:24,000 I think he's a bit racist. 181 00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:26,000 Deano? Nah. 182 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:28,041 Well, not racist, but the things he says, though. 183 00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:29,416 It's a sign of affection. 184 00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:31,333 Pissing on my leg? 185 00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:32,750 He's from Portsmouth. 186 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:34,875 It's cultural. 187 00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:38,596 Besides, he never passes it in five-a-side. 188 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:41,041 Uh-huh. Told me he rated you. 189 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,333 - Did he say that? - Yeah. 190 00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:48,141 On the coach when we were playing cards. 191 00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,958 Is that what you lot talk about? 192 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,333 Compared you to Bergkamp. 193 00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:54,791 Bergkamp? 194 00:09:54,916 --> 00:09:57,708 Said you got the potential to be the next Dennis Bergkamp... 195 00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:00,833 Or was it Dennis Wise? 196 00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:02,375 Fuck off. 197 00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:05,833 Ah, it was the black Dennis Wise. That's what he called you. 198 00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:08,291 - You should be on telly, mate. - Hoo-hoo, I will be, mate. 199 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,641 He's gonna regret when I take his place. 200 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,333 Pass and move. Drop. Pass and move. 201 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,541 Pass and move. 202 00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:38,416 How come you do your own boots, man? 203 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,625 I like the smell of polish. 204 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:43,708 Get you hard, does it? 205 00:10:43,958 --> 00:10:46,416 Not as hard as your sister when she sits on my face. 206 00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,958 - I done told you, man. - What? 207 00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:52,333 Is she not like the other girls, Ade? Is she special? 208 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:55,750 All right. All right. 209 00:10:56,541 --> 00:10:59,125 Oi, I think she likes me, though. 210 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,333 Ah! 211 00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:03,291 Is that your ritual? 212 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:07,958 Every Saturday, Dad would lay his paper down, 213 00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:09,333 pop the telly on, 214 00:11:09,791 --> 00:11:11,500 polish his boots in the front room. 215 00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,416 Mum would go spare. 216 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:16,875 That his kit, yeah? 217 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,458 Come to all your games, don't he? 218 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 - Mmm. - In his Jag. 219 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,625 - Yeah, one of 'em. - "One of 'em"? 220 00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:28,291 How many houses you got again? 221 00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:32,041 Uh... He's a builder. 222 00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:33,416 It's what he does. 223 00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:34,666 Mmm. 224 00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:39,500 Yeah, my dad's too busy with his sermons. 225 00:11:40,541 --> 00:11:45,916 Well, he came to that thing you was in for your, um, drama exam. 226 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:49,083 Rah. I forgot you come to that. 227 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,000 Yeah, well, you were good in that. 228 00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:54,083 Yeah, what was that thing you did where you had that 229 00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:56,083 red material you pulled and then... 230 00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:58,666 That was abstract movement, yeah. That represent... 231 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,916 - What you laughing at? - Nah. No, I'm just remembering. 232 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,250 It was... 233 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,458 "Oh, oh. I love this person." 234 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,333 - No, it was good. - Mmm. 235 00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:16,166 I was surprised you come to that. 236 00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:19,875 Give us a blast. 237 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,500 Go on! Argh! 238 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:24,958 I can't do it to order. 239 00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:26,458 Ah, too much pressure? 240 00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,583 Make sure you wash your hands! 241 00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:55,250 How'd you know how to play poker? 242 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:56,583 What's that, mate? 243 00:12:56,666 --> 00:12:58,625 On the bus. 244 00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:01,375 You was playing with the older lot. 245 00:13:03,125 --> 00:13:05,625 - Your dad teach you? - Ah, yeah, yeah. 246 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,833 He'd win my pocket money back off me. 247 00:13:07,916 --> 00:13:08,833 What? 248 00:13:08,916 --> 00:13:11,458 Yeah. He'd give me pocket money. 249 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,791 We'd play cards, then he'd win it back. 250 00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:17,958 Said it was a lesson in life. 251 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,250 Would you teach me to play? 252 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,500 Jase? 253 00:13:32,916 --> 00:13:34,916 Ade, it is me, 254 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,416 Babatunde. 255 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,625 What the fuck, man? 256 00:13:37,708 --> 00:13:39,625 Your long-lost brother from Nigeria! 257 00:13:39,708 --> 00:13:41,142 - Are you kidding me? - Come here, Ade. 258 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:44,041 - Show your brother some love. Oh! - Get the fuck away from me! 259 00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:46,083 Why you treat me so harshly? 260 00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:49,166 I've come so far to see you. 261 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,000 Hey, it is me. 262 00:13:51,083 --> 00:13:53,043 Your brother from Nigeria you didn't know you had. 263 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,416 Your father had many children. 264 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,166 Seriously, get the fuck away from me. 265 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:59,416 Why you so sad to see Babatunde? Ade. 266 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:02,583 Ade, come on, mate. I'm only having a laugh. Oi. 267 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,083 Oi. It's just a bit of banter. 268 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,958 You all right, geez? 269 00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:13,241 You all right, me old diamond? 270 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:14,684 Me old china? 271 00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:17,083 - Want some plums? - I want to see your plums. 272 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:19,291 Two for a pound! Two for a pound! 273 00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:23,000 Would you like a cup of tea? Crumpet, me lady? Come and have a look! 274 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:26,291 - Yeah, mate. - I'm on your bed, brother. What is that? 275 00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:28,916 - You what? Get your hands off my plums. - Ah! 276 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,750 Two plums in a brown bag! 277 00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:32,541 - You want these plums? - Oh! Oh, oh! 278 00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:34,416 You what? Eh! 279 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:37,166 - Oh, ah! - Eh! There you go. 280 00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:41,559 Oh, you dirty bugger. 281 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:44,625 Oh, I just tasted your chocolate salty balls. 282 00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,708 Ah! I've got chocolate on my balls! 283 00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:48,059 - Ah! - No, no, no, no, no. 284 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:49,833 I'm never having chocolate spread again! 285 00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:56,875 I ain't answering that. 286 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,375 - Oi, budge up. - Oi! 287 00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:14,708 - So, you going to teach me? - Teach you what? 288 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:16,166 Play poker. 289 00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:21,041 What? You, play poker? 290 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,333 What? 291 00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:26,458 You serious? 292 00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:28,500 Yeah. 293 00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,041 Oh, don't be funny. 294 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,958 Come on, you need a certain type of brain. 295 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,570 You think you're smarter than me? 296 00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:37,958 Oh, shush. 297 00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:39,416 Let's just leave it, yeah? 298 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,750 No, no, no. Oh, wait. How much you win today? 299 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,625 Huh? 300 00:15:43,791 --> 00:15:45,291 - Hmm? - Oh. Oh, you lost? 301 00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:47,500 Ah. Is that because you're so good at poker? 302 00:15:47,583 --> 00:15:50,041 What is this? The big boys didn't let you into their game? 303 00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:52,333 - No, how much they take off you? - Don't know. 304 00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:54,833 A monkey. 305 00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:57,583 - Five hundred pounds? - Yeah. 306 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,500 Yeah, Ade, pounds, English pounds. 500 pounds. 307 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,083 In half an hour? 308 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,041 Ha-ha! Well, next week I'll win it back. 309 00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:07,083 Ooh, if you're playing. 310 00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:09,858 Yeah? What's that supposed to mean? 311 00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:11,833 You might not be picked next week. 312 00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:15,000 Well, we both might not be picked. 313 00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:16,791 I will be. 314 00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:19,583 Okay. So you're saying you're better than me? 315 00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:23,750 - Come on. - Ah. 316 00:16:25,958 --> 00:16:28,875 - Let's leave it, yeah? - No, no, actually I'm intrigued. 317 00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:33,458 Oh, no, no. Oh, I understand. 318 00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:35,000 What? 319 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:36,666 - Ah! - What? 320 00:16:37,791 --> 00:16:40,291 I understand. 321 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,916 You don't understand nothing. 322 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,476 You're just saying that to seem more mysterious, like you know something. 323 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,916 Pressure's getting to you. 324 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,291 It's making you act up. 325 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,640 I ain't the one who messed up today, okay? 326 00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:53,833 What you talking about? 327 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,023 What do you think I'm talking about? 328 00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:59,666 Do you really want to do this? 329 00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:03,559 You were supposed to be marking him. 330 00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:04,767 You were supposed to be covering. 331 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,250 - It was your zone! - I pushed up. 332 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,642 It was your zone! That was the whole point in that session. 333 00:17:08,666 --> 00:17:11,476 We were playing the overlap. That means my man becomes your man, vice versa. 334 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,500 Every time before I've pushed on, you dropped back. 335 00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:15,666 - So I pushed up that time. - I was already up. 336 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,875 - Look, it wasn't me coach shouted at. - I know. I know it wasn't. 337 00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:21,125 - What was I supposed to do? - Not go flying up 338 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,333 when I was already up, leaving us open at the back! 339 00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:24,583 It was only a training game! 340 00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:26,625 Well, I'm saying in the game, 341 00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:28,958 don't leave me looking like I lost my man. 342 00:17:29,041 --> 00:17:31,250 I'm saying in the game, don't lose your man. 343 00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,166 Uh! We were playing the overlap. 344 00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,476 That means my man... where you going? 345 00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,434 - Don't just fucking walk off... - I'm going for a piss. 346 00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,767 - No, we were talking, don't just walk off. - I'm going for a piss, okay? 347 00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:42,333 - Oh, yes, okay. - Good. Oh, just so as you know, 348 00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:44,666 I'll be leaving a space this side of the room. 349 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:48,291 You think it's too big, Jase, you might want to push up and cover it. 350 00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:50,541 Next time you fancy a shot at glory, 351 00:17:50,625 --> 00:17:53,708 how about you give me a bit of advance notice, you cunt? 352 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,333 They were laughing at you. 353 00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:10,708 Deano, Leesy, laughing at taking your money at cards 354 00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:13,231 - and how you think you're one of the boys. - That's bollocks. 355 00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:16,875 Said they thought you was a bit suspect. 356 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:21,208 When was this? 357 00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:23,250 - When you was in the shower. - How do you mean? 358 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:26,000 - Different. - Different. Different? 359 00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:27,666 What's that supposed to mean, huh? 360 00:18:32,041 --> 00:18:33,041 A bit... 361 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,041 you know, man. 362 00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:39,166 No, I don't know. 363 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,291 A bit posh, mate. 364 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:50,916 Posh? 365 00:18:51,541 --> 00:18:56,208 I'm from Stanford-Le-fucking-Hope! 366 00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:58,666 You ain't exactly from the Ends, are you? 367 00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:09,416 I'm having a beer. 368 00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:11,458 Cracking up, is it? 369 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,695 Look, let's not pretend that we don't know what's going on. 370 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,416 They can't keep us both on, not with this new formation. 371 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,416 Yeah, I know that, Ade. I am not thick. 372 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,166 There is a window. I can see it closing. 373 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,083 If I'm in a better position tomorrow 374 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:29,458 and I'm on, will you pass me the ball? 375 00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:32,125 This guy... 376 00:19:37,916 --> 00:19:40,541 When your chance come, Jase, you best take it, 377 00:19:40,625 --> 00:19:42,906 'cause that's what I'm going to do. It's nothing personal. 378 00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:44,666 Really? Really? 379 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,166 Maybe I need this more than you. 380 00:19:51,916 --> 00:19:54,458 This is stupid. 381 00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,416 Look, whatever happens... 382 00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:02,958 we... will always be brothers, yeah? 383 00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:07,000 - Here. - No. We got a game tomorrow. 384 00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:10,166 Ade, are you leaving me hanging? 385 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:12,958 Ade... 386 00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,166 We're brothers. 387 00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:34,041 You doughnut. 388 00:20:36,916 --> 00:20:38,083 Frickin' hell, man. 389 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,958 - What's the mat... oi! - Ah! Ah! 390 00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:44,458 - What, huh? Yeah? - Oh, you fucker! Don't stop. 391 00:20:44,541 --> 00:20:46,833 - Shall I give you a hug? Huh? - Oh, yes, yes, don't stop. 392 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:49,500 - Do you want to squeeze me plums? - I'll squeeze your plums. 393 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,875 He does it all! Matron! 394 00:20:51,958 --> 00:20:53,500 Ah! Ah! 395 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,166 What the fuck? 396 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:57,458 - I'll feel your plums. - Seriously, what the fuck? 397 00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,083 - What? - You got a fucking hard-on! 398 00:21:00,166 --> 00:21:01,541 - No, I don't. - No, you did, mate. 399 00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:04,083 - I felt it. You had a fucking hard-on. - No. 400 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,406 - Nah, man. - You did. 401 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,958 I won't be keeping this to myself. 402 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:11,791 - Please, man. Mate, it's nothing. I... - Oh, no, man, no. 403 00:21:11,875 --> 00:21:14,583 - No, I'll tell everyone about this. - I get nervous before a game. 404 00:21:14,666 --> 00:21:16,166 - Yeah, yeah. - Wait. Huh? 405 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,083 Pulling your leg. 406 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,583 Doughnut. 407 00:21:19,708 --> 00:21:21,541 Oi, I'm pulling your leg. 408 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:28,000 Loads of people get a hard-on before a game. 409 00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:29,625 I know I do. 410 00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:31,458 I get a massive hard-on. 411 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,666 - Do you? - Yeah, of course. 412 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:39,375 You all right? 413 00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:43,416 All right? You look scared. 414 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,541 Why would I be scared? 415 00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:46,875 Oh. 416 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,833 Give us a cuddle. 417 00:21:51,458 --> 00:21:53,625 You bum boy. 418 00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:56,583 Oh... 419 00:21:58,375 --> 00:22:00,666 oh... 420 00:22:10,458 --> 00:22:13,208 - You're very huggable, Ade. - Piss off. 421 00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,291 Doughnut. 422 00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:36,333 Oh. Oh. Oh! 423 00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:41,291 - Oh, oh. - He just popped you? 424 00:23:41,375 --> 00:23:43,291 Oh, fuck. If he's broken it, I won't be happy. 425 00:23:43,375 --> 00:23:46,083 - Oh, fuck. - I reckon it's an improvement, actually. 426 00:23:46,166 --> 00:23:47,875 Oh, well, that's nice. Sympathy. 427 00:23:47,958 --> 00:23:50,000 My nan hits harder than that. 428 00:23:50,083 --> 00:23:51,563 Is she a bit of a bruiser? 429 00:23:51,625 --> 00:23:54,291 Argh! Argh! Shit! 430 00:23:54,375 --> 00:23:56,625 - Serves you right, you cheeky bastard. - Argh! 431 00:23:56,708 --> 00:23:59,666 Oh, this fucking... oh, fuck. 432 00:24:04,416 --> 00:24:06,333 - Do I look sexy? - Mmm. 433 00:24:06,416 --> 00:24:09,041 Blood on your shirt, bust-up nose. You look well fit. 434 00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:11,208 Yeah? Girls like that, bit of blood. 435 00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:14,125 Oh, yeah. I love a fella who can't handle himself. 436 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,375 Think I broke his camera, the twat. 437 00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:19,666 I know. Why do you think he was so upset? 438 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,790 Oh, you know what, I'd have floored him if you hadn't got in the fucking way. 439 00:24:23,375 --> 00:24:25,208 Hold your head back, soft lad. 440 00:24:25,291 --> 00:24:26,958 Oh, careful, careful, careful, careful. 441 00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:28,041 Ah. 442 00:24:28,541 --> 00:24:31,583 Them bouncers were, like, bosh. 443 00:24:31,666 --> 00:24:33,500 He was shitting himself. 444 00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:35,708 I know, I could smell it. 445 00:24:35,791 --> 00:24:36,958 Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. 446 00:24:39,125 --> 00:24:42,125 - Do I not look a bit sexy? Huh? - Oh. 447 00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:45,000 - Maybes a bit. - Ah. 448 00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:46,750 Ah. 449 00:24:55,958 --> 00:25:00,000 Clean yourself up, you little slut. 450 00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:04,416 - Get us a shirt. - Where are they? 451 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,125 Uh, should be some clobber on the bed. 452 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,125 Someone's been eating their Shredded Wheat. 453 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,333 Huh? Huh? 454 00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:54,791 Oh, you look like you're taking a shit. 455 00:26:00,416 --> 00:26:03,958 What's that? Is that your sexy face? 456 00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:05,250 No. 457 00:26:05,833 --> 00:26:07,208 It's my cum face. 458 00:26:11,458 --> 00:26:13,375 Oh, does that happen a lot? 459 00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:15,958 Getting hassle off the paparazzi? 460 00:26:16,041 --> 00:26:17,708 Oh, normally they're all right. 461 00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:19,041 It's all fun and games. 462 00:26:20,083 --> 00:26:22,125 - I'm going to have a piss. - Can I watch? 463 00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,000 All right. 464 00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,333 - Fucking hell. - Do you want to hold me plonker? 465 00:26:27,416 --> 00:26:30,541 - No, you're all right, pet. - Well, it's your loss. It's a whopper. 466 00:26:35,625 --> 00:26:37,041 Ah. 467 00:26:38,833 --> 00:26:40,125 Fucking hell. 468 00:26:42,541 --> 00:26:44,083 Put some music on! 469 00:26:45,458 --> 00:26:46,583 Something jolly. 470 00:26:55,791 --> 00:26:57,500 Remote's in the wall! 471 00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,291 Got it! 472 00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:11,000 Is this what you listen to? 473 00:27:11,083 --> 00:27:12,500 What are you, 16? 474 00:27:12,583 --> 00:27:14,541 Oi! Fuck off, he's a mate. 475 00:27:15,291 --> 00:27:18,708 - Are you joking? - Did my birthday out in Miami. 476 00:27:18,791 --> 00:27:20,125 Are you serious? 477 00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:46,916 Jesus, man. 478 00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:50,500 Footballers. 479 00:27:58,291 --> 00:28:00,041 Fuck me. 480 00:28:00,583 --> 00:28:01,833 Are you a ninja? 481 00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:05,583 - It's all right, isn't it? - It's a bit like where I live. 482 00:28:05,666 --> 00:28:07,541 Uh-huh. 483 00:28:08,708 --> 00:28:10,000 Do you come here often? 484 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:12,333 Uh, yeah, 485 00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:15,875 I try to stay on an extra day if we got a game down here if I can. 486 00:28:15,958 --> 00:28:18,500 They know me. They're discrete. 487 00:28:19,083 --> 00:28:20,791 You got family down here? 488 00:28:21,916 --> 00:28:24,083 Yeah. Mum and Dad still out east. 489 00:28:27,708 --> 00:28:28,875 Mmm. 490 00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:35,208 Let's do this inside. 491 00:28:35,291 --> 00:28:37,791 Fuck off. You're not on a promise. 492 00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:39,541 Oh, why, you think you can resist me? 493 00:28:39,625 --> 00:28:43,000 - All right. Easy, tiger. - Oh, come on, I'm horny. 494 00:28:43,083 --> 00:28:45,625 - Oh, my God. - What? 495 00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:48,166 Nothing. 496 00:28:48,750 --> 00:28:50,000 It's just you. 497 00:28:50,666 --> 00:28:51,708 What? 498 00:28:52,041 --> 00:28:53,750 You're not how I thought you'd be. 499 00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:56,208 - Yeah? - I thought you'd be less... 500 00:28:56,916 --> 00:28:57,916 Intelligent? 501 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000 Needy. 502 00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:02,125 "Needy"? 503 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:04,708 That's the wrong word. Vulnerable. 504 00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:08,000 Vulnerable? What's that mean? 505 00:29:08,083 --> 00:29:10,166 It's like you need constant stimulation. 506 00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,583 Yeah, I do need constant stimulation. 507 00:29:15,708 --> 00:29:18,458 I bet you were an annoying kid that needed constant attention. 508 00:29:18,541 --> 00:29:21,625 - Teachers fucking loved me. - Oh, you're one of those kids. 509 00:29:21,708 --> 00:29:23,375 Ah. I was quite popular. 510 00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:25,041 And what happened? 511 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Oh, what? 512 00:29:30,416 --> 00:29:32,916 Oh, what? Did I annoy you? 513 00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:34,750 Oh, I did, didn't I? 514 00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:37,291 Oh, is it 'cause I called you vulnerable? 515 00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:39,434 - Let me tell you something, right? - What, is it about you? 516 00:29:39,458 --> 00:29:41,851 - My first proper game five years back, - Your favourite subject. 517 00:29:41,875 --> 00:29:42,958 - We was in Romania. - Yeah. 518 00:29:43,041 --> 00:29:44,976 It was my mate's first game, too. Away game in Romania. 519 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,666 - Is it a football story? Yes! - We were nervous as shit. Shh! 520 00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:50,583 And the ball comes to me at the edge of the box this high. 521 00:29:50,666 --> 00:29:52,750 And I had a choice then... 522 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,250 Whether to knock it out to my mate or take the shot, 30 yards out. 523 00:29:56,333 --> 00:29:58,614 He's in a better position, I should have passed, I didn't. 524 00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:01,416 I hit it first time, bosh, top corner. 525 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,916 Before I had time to blink, it had gone in, bang! 526 00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:06,958 Just like that. Goal of the season. 527 00:30:08,375 --> 00:30:10,916 What, so this is just a story about how great you are? 528 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,000 No! 529 00:30:12,041 --> 00:30:14,083 You called me vulnerable and I'm just saying, 530 00:30:14,166 --> 00:30:16,846 you got to take your chances where they come 'cause life ain't fair, 531 00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:19,541 and when it comes to it, there ain't no room for emotion. 532 00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:24,750 And how did your mate feel, the one that you didn't pass to? 533 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:26,833 Mmm, never asked. 534 00:30:28,541 --> 00:30:29,916 Is he still your mate? 535 00:30:36,541 --> 00:30:37,583 Yo. 536 00:30:46,708 --> 00:30:49,208 Just, uh, put it on the side there, please, mate. 537 00:31:07,208 --> 00:31:08,250 What you looking at? 538 00:31:44,458 --> 00:31:45,500 Whoa. 539 00:31:51,208 --> 00:31:53,291 Mm. 540 00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:57,541 Come on. Show us what you got. 541 00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:02,541 Come on! Come on! Give us a private show. 542 00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:09,041 It's my night off. 543 00:32:09,541 --> 00:32:10,851 You were dancing in the club tonight. 544 00:32:10,875 --> 00:32:12,333 - Well, that was work. - So? 545 00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:24,000 I like to keep work and my private life separate. 546 00:32:24,083 --> 00:32:25,083 Oh, yeah? 547 00:32:26,625 --> 00:32:29,083 I'm just going to go and powder my nose. 548 00:32:29,166 --> 00:32:32,208 - Mm? Do you mean have a piss? - Mm-hmm. 549 00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:36,458 A nice long hot one dedicated to you. 550 00:33:23,166 --> 00:33:25,291 I'll show you mine if you show me yours. 551 00:33:25,708 --> 00:33:26,708 What? 552 00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:29,208 Your moves! 553 00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:33,000 Ah! All right. Yeah, baby. 554 00:33:33,083 --> 00:33:36,208 What, is that your moves? 555 00:33:36,291 --> 00:33:37,416 Yeah, you like? 556 00:33:38,125 --> 00:33:40,333 Mm-hmm, there's plenty more where that came from. 557 00:33:40,416 --> 00:33:42,791 - Go on, then. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 558 00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:44,791 I'd say you'd better call emergency services 559 00:33:44,875 --> 00:33:48,125 - 'cause some of these are dangerous. - You nearly took me eye out. 560 00:33:48,208 --> 00:33:49,666 There's, er, this. 561 00:33:51,333 --> 00:33:52,541 Yeah, yeah, there's this. 562 00:33:52,625 --> 00:33:56,583 What's that, ba-ba? Oh-ba-ba-ba-ba-na, ba-ba-ba! 563 00:33:56,666 --> 00:33:58,583 And there's this. There's this. 564 00:33:58,666 --> 00:34:01,916 What's this? Oh! Oh, what's this? What's this cheeky little fellow? 565 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,291 What's he doing, eh? He's on fire. The boy is on fire. 566 00:34:05,375 --> 00:34:06,833 What is that, Lord of the Dance? 567 00:34:06,916 --> 00:34:09,416 You are in the presence of something special here. 568 00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:11,958 Ah, yeah, special's the word. 569 00:34:12,041 --> 00:34:15,916 That routine you did at the club tonight, that was impressive. 570 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,500 - Well, it's harder than people think. - What, dancing around a pole? 571 00:34:19,583 --> 00:34:21,458 Or kicking a ball? 572 00:34:26,625 --> 00:34:29,541 - Do you like that? - Yeah, right there. Mm-hmm. 573 00:34:31,250 --> 00:34:32,583 Show us your tits. 574 00:34:36,625 --> 00:34:39,583 All right. Slow down, man. 575 00:34:39,666 --> 00:34:42,208 Mm-hmm. Take it off. 576 00:34:42,750 --> 00:34:44,041 Come on, take it off. 577 00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:46,916 Come on. Take it off. You hear what I said? Take it off. 578 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,750 I said take it off. Come on. 579 00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:49,958 I'm sorry. 580 00:34:50,625 --> 00:34:54,125 Sorry. I can't do this. 581 00:34:55,291 --> 00:34:56,541 Can't do what? 582 00:34:57,750 --> 00:35:00,166 This. I can't do this. I'm just... 583 00:35:15,708 --> 00:35:16,833 Is this what you're after? 584 00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:20,041 Can I have my bag, please? 585 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,875 I'm... I'm just going to go. 586 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,083 No, you don't. 587 00:35:27,541 --> 00:35:30,083 - Just give us me bag. - What do you need your bag for? 588 00:35:30,166 --> 00:35:31,916 - Well, it's got my stuff. - What "stuff"? 589 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,291 Lipstick, tissues. 590 00:35:33,375 --> 00:35:36,166 - What? Do you want an inventory? - Yeah, what else? 591 00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:39,833 There might be a bit of fluff and a tampon, I'm not sure. 592 00:35:39,916 --> 00:35:41,166 And the camera? 593 00:35:43,833 --> 00:35:46,125 - Camera? - Mm-hmm. 594 00:35:47,166 --> 00:35:49,916 There's a camera on my phone, if that's what you're talking about. 595 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000 Mm-hmm. 596 00:35:55,041 --> 00:35:56,083 What are you doing? 597 00:35:59,208 --> 00:36:02,458 - Right, I'm calling the police. - No, you ain't calling no one. 598 00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:04,017 I'm calling them. You paranoid bastard. 599 00:36:04,041 --> 00:36:06,625 Good. We'll have a chat with them about this and all, shall we? 600 00:36:07,416 --> 00:36:08,458 Fuck. 601 00:36:16,083 --> 00:36:17,416 It wasn't my idea. 602 00:36:21,208 --> 00:36:23,125 They approached me. 603 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:30,208 I've never done this before, all right? I'm not that sort of person. 604 00:36:30,291 --> 00:36:32,750 Oh, yeah. Well, apparently you are. 605 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,625 Look, I thought I could do it, but I was wrong, all right? 606 00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:39,541 Just... just give us me keys and me purse. 607 00:36:39,625 --> 00:36:41,291 I'm... I'm just going to go. 608 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,208 But you can't go. 609 00:36:44,375 --> 00:36:45,583 Why can't I? 610 00:36:47,416 --> 00:36:49,708 'Cause of what you signed, darlin'. 611 00:36:51,458 --> 00:36:54,791 What? How do you know what I signed or I didn't sign? 612 00:36:58,708 --> 00:37:00,041 Did you know about this? 613 00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:04,083 What, do you... do you think I'm fucking stupid? 614 00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,166 Of course I know. 615 00:37:08,750 --> 00:37:10,458 Are you saying that you planned this? 616 00:37:12,125 --> 00:37:14,541 What the fuck is going on, 'cause this is... 617 00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:19,583 Why would you... why would you film yourself cheating on your wife? 618 00:37:20,333 --> 00:37:22,291 Was this... was this a dare or... 619 00:37:22,375 --> 00:37:24,416 some way of proving that you're... 620 00:37:25,166 --> 00:37:26,375 A man or... 621 00:37:26,458 --> 00:37:27,708 Ah. 622 00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:32,708 - Let's have a drink. - What? 623 00:37:33,041 --> 00:37:35,333 I got the mood wrong. You know, I misjudged things. 624 00:37:35,416 --> 00:37:36,517 Come on, let's have a drink. 625 00:37:36,541 --> 00:37:39,458 I was just talking sexy, you know, I was talking a bit dirty. 626 00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:41,976 I was trying to get you into it. Thought you'd be into it. That's all. 627 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,250 It was just sexy talk. I didn't mean nothing. 628 00:37:44,333 --> 00:37:46,500 I thought you'd like it, but you didn't. 629 00:37:46,583 --> 00:37:48,250 I got the mood wrong, so let's just... 630 00:37:49,625 --> 00:37:51,458 Look, let's just take it nice and slow. 631 00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:54,125 You think we're still going to do this? 632 00:37:55,291 --> 00:37:56,458 Well, why not? 633 00:37:57,875 --> 00:37:59,041 Why not? It'll be laugh. 634 00:37:59,166 --> 00:38:00,625 - A "laugh"? - Yeah. 635 00:38:00,708 --> 00:38:02,833 Well, making a sex tape and selling it to the papers, 636 00:38:02,916 --> 00:38:04,916 that's a laugh for you, is it? 637 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,958 What, that's a fucking weekend for you? 638 00:38:08,708 --> 00:38:09,875 Do you know what? 639 00:38:10,916 --> 00:38:12,458 - No, you don't. - I've had enough. 640 00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:14,125 - No, no. - No, you put your hands on me 641 00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:16,916 - and I'll scream my fucking head off! - Keep your voice down. 642 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,226 Don't tell me to keep my voice down. 643 00:38:18,250 --> 00:38:21,083 Fine, but let's just keep our fucking heads, all right? 644 00:38:21,166 --> 00:38:23,500 Let's talk like mature fucking adults. 645 00:38:23,625 --> 00:38:25,333 Is that what you think we are? 646 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:28,916 I want to know what's going on. 647 00:38:29,125 --> 00:38:31,267 - Fuck, just sit yourself down. - I don't want to sit down! 648 00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:33,291 Oh, my fucking God. Lyndsey, darling, 649 00:38:33,375 --> 00:38:34,851 I'm gathering my thoughts, all right? 650 00:38:34,875 --> 00:38:36,476 I can't think with all this fucking hoopla. 651 00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,041 I'm gathering my thoughts. 652 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:40,500 Je... 653 00:38:46,541 --> 00:38:47,541 Jesus. 654 00:38:50,666 --> 00:38:51,666 Look. 655 00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:58,291 - It's nothing. - What's nothing? 656 00:38:58,375 --> 00:39:02,833 Some... some little dickhead's shooting his mouth off telling stories. 657 00:39:02,916 --> 00:39:05,791 - It's just fucking bullshit. - What's bullshit? 658 00:39:05,875 --> 00:39:07,684 It doesn't matter, what's bullshit, because it ain't true. 659 00:39:07,708 --> 00:39:09,726 Well, if it doesn't matter, why you doing this? 660 00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:11,791 Because he's telling stories. 661 00:39:11,875 --> 00:39:13,041 Well, what kind of stories? 662 00:39:13,125 --> 00:39:17,458 Look, uh, this is what I am trying to explain to you, if you'd just listen. 663 00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:21,125 It doesn't matter what kind of stories, 664 00:39:21,208 --> 00:39:22,458 because they ain't true. 665 00:39:23,291 --> 00:39:25,458 - What kind of stories? - Look... 666 00:39:28,458 --> 00:39:29,916 I'm having trouble with my wife. 667 00:39:31,416 --> 00:39:32,536 That's all you need to know. 668 00:39:33,166 --> 00:39:34,875 And this is your way of solving it? 669 00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:37,833 Who is advising you, Russell fucking Brand? 670 00:39:37,916 --> 00:39:39,196 Look, we ain't together no more. 671 00:39:39,750 --> 00:39:40,791 Okay? 672 00:39:40,875 --> 00:39:43,791 We ain't together no more and people don't know yet 673 00:39:43,875 --> 00:39:45,958 and she's trying to stop me seeing my kids. 674 00:39:46,166 --> 00:39:48,333 And these kinds of rumours are exactly the thing 675 00:39:48,416 --> 00:39:50,336 - I don't need right now. - What kind of rumours? 676 00:40:00,291 --> 00:40:03,916 - Why are you laughing? - Oh, my God. 677 00:40:04,083 --> 00:40:05,083 What? 678 00:40:06,375 --> 00:40:07,666 You're gay! 679 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,875 - You what? - You're gay, aren't you? 680 00:40:14,125 --> 00:40:16,833 That's what this is, that's what this fella's been saying, isn't it? 681 00:40:16,916 --> 00:40:19,083 Gay? Gay? 682 00:40:19,166 --> 00:40:21,458 Are you out your fucking mind? Gay? Of course I'm not gay. 683 00:40:21,958 --> 00:40:24,291 Look at me. I'm a footballer. 684 00:40:24,375 --> 00:40:26,208 Oh, yeah, yeah. 'Cause it's such a man's game. 685 00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:29,375 All of them buff lads together and no one ever fancies a fuck? 686 00:40:29,458 --> 00:40:31,458 What, are you monks? 687 00:40:31,541 --> 00:40:32,851 Don't know what you're talking about. 688 00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:35,166 That's why you're always doubling up with girls, isn't it? 689 00:40:35,250 --> 00:40:38,875 Even the straight lads can't get a hard-on without another fuckin' fella in the room. 690 00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:43,083 People rely on me. I got responsibilities. People expect things. 691 00:40:43,166 --> 00:40:45,184 - What's that got to do with being gay? - I got fans. 692 00:40:45,208 --> 00:40:47,500 I got a family. I'm a fucking role model. 693 00:40:47,583 --> 00:40:48,583 A role model? 694 00:40:48,625 --> 00:40:51,166 Little kids have posters of me on their wall. 695 00:40:51,250 --> 00:40:53,833 Grown men and women buy fucking shirts, 696 00:40:53,916 --> 00:40:55,851 keyrings, mouse mats with my name on. 697 00:40:55,875 --> 00:40:58,916 Men get razor blades because they're the ones I use. 698 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,791 Japanese people drink the same whiskey as me 699 00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:03,000 and it's all because of the kind of man I am. 700 00:41:03,083 --> 00:41:05,875 So if you think I'm just going to rock up to Mardi Gras 701 00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:07,833 with fucking feathers falling out of my arse... 702 00:41:07,916 --> 00:41:09,976 - And then play football - 'Cause that's what happens. 703 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,500 In front of 70,000 fans, you're in cloud fucking cuckoo land, darling. 704 00:41:13,583 --> 00:41:16,000 - Oh, my god. - 'Cause I ain't gay. 705 00:41:17,916 --> 00:41:19,416 Gay ain't even an option. 706 00:41:22,791 --> 00:41:26,083 Jesus Christ, Jason, what year do you think this is? 707 00:41:26,708 --> 00:41:29,791 What year? It's fucking 1966 out there, darling, hmm? 708 00:41:29,875 --> 00:41:31,958 It's fucking 1066. 709 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,750 You know what? I worked hard for this. 710 00:41:37,833 --> 00:41:41,166 I sweated blood, so if you think I'm just going to give it up 711 00:41:41,250 --> 00:41:43,958 'cause some scratchy little cunt is shooting his mouth off, 712 00:41:44,041 --> 00:41:45,875 trying to make a few quid, fuck off! 713 00:41:45,958 --> 00:41:48,208 Do you know what? Maybes I will sit down. 714 00:41:48,291 --> 00:41:50,458 No, you stay on your feet! 715 00:41:54,458 --> 00:41:57,625 Do you... do you think it's just me, hmm? 716 00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:00,791 Do you think people are truthful? 717 00:42:00,875 --> 00:42:06,166 The whole world is full of people pretending to be something they're not. 718 00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:08,958 The fuck I do or don't do 719 00:42:09,041 --> 00:42:12,416 with my life is up to me, right? 720 00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:16,833 No one else decides, so if I say "I ain't gay", I ain't gay. 721 00:42:18,375 --> 00:42:21,291 The only thing that matters is what I do on the pitch. 722 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:24,416 So, if there are things I need to get my head in the right place, 723 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,916 if I need a wife and kid, 724 00:42:27,333 --> 00:42:30,750 yeah, if I need to fuck a woman, 725 00:42:32,541 --> 00:42:33,541 or a man... 726 00:42:34,458 --> 00:42:39,041 you know what, or a fucking apricot for that matter, then that's what I do. 727 00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:46,833 Look. 728 00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:50,208 Let's just do this, 729 00:42:51,041 --> 00:42:52,041 huh? 730 00:42:52,708 --> 00:42:53,750 Let's just do it. 731 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:55,750 You'll get your money. 732 00:42:56,750 --> 00:42:57,791 Everyone's happy. 733 00:42:57,875 --> 00:43:00,291 Yeah, it's just that, erm... 734 00:43:01,041 --> 00:43:03,583 I'm just not sure I want to any more, 735 00:43:03,666 --> 00:43:04,976 - do you know what I mean? - You know what? 736 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,291 Fuck off, as if you've got a choice. 737 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:11,125 You don't know the first thing about me. 738 00:43:11,208 --> 00:43:12,851 You don't know what I need or what I don't need. 739 00:43:12,875 --> 00:43:14,267 So don't tell me what I can or I can't do. 740 00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:16,059 'Cause you're not the one that gets to fucking decide. 741 00:43:16,083 --> 00:43:19,833 Look, do you want this fucking money or not? 742 00:43:23,250 --> 00:43:24,250 Nah. 743 00:43:31,083 --> 00:43:33,000 I want double what we agreed. 744 00:43:38,166 --> 00:43:40,208 Okay All right. 745 00:43:41,083 --> 00:43:42,250 Double it is. 746 00:43:51,750 --> 00:43:54,791 We'll have to, erm, reset it. 747 00:43:55,291 --> 00:43:57,083 It's got us talking on it. 748 00:44:19,291 --> 00:44:20,416 Have you done this before? 749 00:44:23,750 --> 00:44:25,375 - Would it make a difference? - Yeah. 750 00:44:25,458 --> 00:44:27,434 Well, they were supposed to find someone who'd done it before. 751 00:44:27,458 --> 00:44:29,333 - I told them I'd done it before. - Why? 752 00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:32,583 Because they wanted someone who'd done it before. 753 00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:38,291 You're not getting me. 754 00:44:40,208 --> 00:44:41,583 This isn't me. 755 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,875 I'm playing a role, but you'd know all about that, wouldn't you? 756 00:44:45,958 --> 00:44:48,438 - Just make it look good, all right? - Oh, don't worry, I will. 757 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,083 Who is he? 758 00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:54,750 Who are you thinking about? 759 00:44:56,458 --> 00:44:59,166 Because I can tell by looking in your eyes it isn't me, is it? 760 00:46:04,208 --> 00:46:05,875 Come here, you cunt. 761 00:46:06,250 --> 00:46:07,416 Good to see you, man. 762 00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:09,541 You haven't changed. Look at you. 763 00:46:09,750 --> 00:46:12,375 Well, apart from that. What is that? 764 00:46:12,458 --> 00:46:14,833 This? It's what a man looks like. 765 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,750 - Is it? - Yeah. 766 00:46:17,125 --> 00:46:18,125 Come in. 767 00:46:19,458 --> 00:46:20,458 Drink? 768 00:46:22,708 --> 00:46:24,416 Got a nice Sancerre on the go. 769 00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:27,666 Yeah. Nice Sancerre sounds, er... 770 00:46:28,583 --> 00:46:30,625 Saw your website for your company. 771 00:46:31,125 --> 00:46:34,125 Some lovely testimonials. "Excellent finish." 772 00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,833 - Yeah. - That was Jojo and his missus. 773 00:46:36,916 --> 00:46:38,166 It's all right, innit? 774 00:46:39,041 --> 00:46:41,708 I got so much respect for you, Ade. 775 00:46:42,666 --> 00:46:43,666 Thanks. 776 00:46:44,458 --> 00:46:45,583 What do you reckon? 777 00:46:48,083 --> 00:46:50,000 - Yeah, man, it's good. Mmm. - Yeah. 778 00:46:50,083 --> 00:46:51,963 Plenty more where that came from. 779 00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:54,250 Where's all your stuff? 780 00:46:54,708 --> 00:46:57,166 Mmm, everything's in storage. 781 00:46:57,250 --> 00:47:00,500 Karen got our place, just for the kids, really. 782 00:47:00,875 --> 00:47:03,375 - Yeah, I was sorry to hear that, man. - Yeah. Check this out. 783 00:47:04,833 --> 00:47:06,416 Bosh! 784 00:47:07,375 --> 00:47:09,208 So do you get to see 'em, the kids? 785 00:47:09,583 --> 00:47:12,166 Um, well, you know, it's tricky, that. 786 00:47:12,250 --> 00:47:13,500 I don't want to confuse 'em. 787 00:47:14,125 --> 00:47:15,208 You've seen the tape? 788 00:47:15,458 --> 00:47:17,083 Well, I didn't watch it, but... 789 00:47:17,166 --> 00:47:18,708 Expensive 12 minutes that was. 790 00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:21,125 - Only 12? - If I'd known how popular it'd be 791 00:47:21,208 --> 00:47:23,375 I'd have drawn it out, turned it into a box set. 792 00:47:23,458 --> 00:47:26,333 Erm, pass us them pills, will you? 793 00:47:28,625 --> 00:47:29,625 Chop, chop. 794 00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:38,458 Seeing as you're up, uh, fetch us a beer. 795 00:47:38,541 --> 00:47:39,958 The fridge is just there. 796 00:47:40,833 --> 00:47:42,208 What did your last slave die of? 797 00:47:42,291 --> 00:47:43,291 AIDS. 798 00:47:43,541 --> 00:47:44,583 AIDS. 799 00:47:49,458 --> 00:47:51,166 They're, uh... they're for my knee. 800 00:47:52,666 --> 00:47:54,916 - I'm so used to them now, I forget. - Mm. 801 00:48:02,291 --> 00:48:03,458 Do you still play? 802 00:48:03,541 --> 00:48:04,833 - I turn up. - Hmm? 803 00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:06,416 - Whereabouts? - Marshes. 804 00:48:08,041 --> 00:48:10,958 Hackney Marshes! Pitches still shit? 805 00:48:11,041 --> 00:48:12,750 Yes. 806 00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:15,000 I bet you're like Ronaldo with that lot. 807 00:48:15,083 --> 00:48:16,123 I am quite good, actually. 808 00:48:16,166 --> 00:48:19,291 Ah! "Ronaldo of the Marshes." 809 00:48:21,375 --> 00:48:22,958 My old man used to play there. 810 00:48:23,458 --> 00:48:25,375 Yeah. Read about it. 811 00:48:25,458 --> 00:48:27,083 Sorry, man. 812 00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:32,041 I didn't mind him skimming a bit, you know, it's my dad. But it got silly. 813 00:48:32,458 --> 00:48:33,958 I had the taxman onto me. 814 00:48:35,166 --> 00:48:37,791 Oh, you know... he's got his golf. 815 00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:40,460 Two hundred years old, that. Belonged to Napoleon. 816 00:48:43,083 --> 00:48:45,375 How's your knee? I heard you had keyhole. 817 00:48:45,458 --> 00:48:49,125 Arthroscopy. Pretty standard op these days. 818 00:48:49,583 --> 00:48:53,375 I ain't the same over five yards, but got it up here. 819 00:48:54,166 --> 00:48:56,642 I had it booked in a year back, but they brought that Sierra Leone kid in. 820 00:48:56,666 --> 00:48:58,786 I thought, can't take time off now, I'd lose my place. 821 00:48:59,125 --> 00:49:00,541 But after that sending off, 822 00:49:01,125 --> 00:49:04,541 thought missing the end of season, may as well get it sorted. 823 00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:06,791 Five match ban. That was pretty serious, man. 824 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,351 Cunt had it coming. 825 00:49:09,375 --> 00:49:10,541 Pretty bad tackle, man. 826 00:49:11,875 --> 00:49:14,583 Giving it that all game and just... uh... 827 00:49:16,583 --> 00:49:19,458 My mum was a bit shocked, to be honest, you know? 828 00:49:19,666 --> 00:49:23,500 My concentration. My time away, it's done me good. 829 00:49:25,083 --> 00:49:28,541 Go on, then. You're on. Oh! 830 00:49:29,416 --> 00:49:31,000 See if you can beat my time. 831 00:49:45,291 --> 00:49:46,416 Hotel not got a gym? 832 00:49:46,541 --> 00:49:48,291 Uh. 833 00:49:48,375 --> 00:49:50,916 I can't be done with the hassle, sweating away, 834 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,458 someone wants an autograph for his nephew every two seconds. 835 00:49:53,541 --> 00:49:55,291 Makes a good training base. 836 00:49:55,375 --> 00:49:59,375 Room service. Chef here's got two stars. They got a 20-metre pool, too. 837 00:49:59,458 --> 00:50:00,458 I got me own key. 838 00:50:00,541 --> 00:50:02,267 I use it in the middle of the night when it's quiet. 839 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:03,916 When do you sleep? 840 00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:06,708 The amount of energy drinks I'm on with this training regime, 841 00:50:06,791 --> 00:50:08,916 I'm up half the night. Painkillers don't help. 842 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,166 My clock is all wonky. 843 00:50:11,250 --> 00:50:14,875 I don't know if it's fucking night or fucking day. 844 00:50:18,416 --> 00:50:20,916 - Do you swim? - One K every day. 845 00:50:21,250 --> 00:50:22,416 Good boy! 846 00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:24,875 Do you do tumble turns? 847 00:50:24,958 --> 00:50:27,791 Proper turns, like on the Olympics. 848 00:50:28,625 --> 00:50:30,958 It's quite fun, this. 849 00:50:32,291 --> 00:50:33,916 See that dot? That's you. 850 00:50:34,458 --> 00:50:35,583 See the other dot? 851 00:50:36,208 --> 00:50:38,166 - What, the one in front? - Uh-huh. That's me. 852 00:50:41,375 --> 00:50:45,583 Ah. Well, you'll mess your nice shirt up. 853 00:51:01,125 --> 00:51:04,291 Oh. Paul Smith, woo! 854 00:51:04,375 --> 00:51:05,875 Fuck off. 855 00:51:07,083 --> 00:51:08,750 Jojo says you're out of contract. 856 00:51:08,916 --> 00:51:10,666 - Says you're looking for a club. - Yeah. 857 00:51:10,750 --> 00:51:12,125 I'm having a bit of a stocktake. 858 00:51:12,708 --> 00:51:14,916 Ah. Something about a club in India? 859 00:51:15,250 --> 00:51:17,166 Super League. That's where the money is. 860 00:51:17,250 --> 00:51:19,226 They're setting up the infrastructure, getting players in. 861 00:51:19,250 --> 00:51:21,875 - India, though? - Well, good enough for Del Piero. 862 00:51:21,958 --> 00:51:23,833 End of his career. 863 00:51:23,916 --> 00:51:24,956 You're getting old, is it? 864 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,101 You sound out of breath, mate. Don't have a heart attack on me. 865 00:51:27,125 --> 00:51:29,101 You're worried about them young pups taking your place. 866 00:51:29,125 --> 00:51:30,125 Mm. 867 00:51:30,916 --> 00:51:32,625 You got ten seconds to catch me up. 868 00:51:37,250 --> 00:51:38,708 Mm. 869 00:51:45,375 --> 00:51:46,625 Harder than it looks, innit? 870 00:51:53,333 --> 00:51:54,666 So, what's this job, then? 871 00:51:55,416 --> 00:51:59,666 Oh. Jojo's missus is dead impressed. 872 00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,833 I ain't heard the end of her walk-in shower. 873 00:52:02,875 --> 00:52:03,916 Here it is. 874 00:52:04,333 --> 00:52:06,541 You have to use your finger otherwise it doesn't... 875 00:52:06,625 --> 00:52:08,833 - Yeah, I have got one. - That's one of the new ones. 876 00:52:13,833 --> 00:52:15,250 Need some water, man. 877 00:52:15,416 --> 00:52:18,000 Oh, yeah, I'll put some tonic in. 878 00:52:22,958 --> 00:52:24,666 - Tonic, man. - Oh, come on. 879 00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:28,125 Stop fannying about. This is what I'm on about. What do you reckon? 880 00:52:28,208 --> 00:52:30,500 - It's nice. - See? 881 00:52:31,166 --> 00:52:34,541 That's the terrace. South-facing, gets the sun all day. 882 00:52:34,666 --> 00:52:36,458 Right on the Med. Decent views. 883 00:52:36,541 --> 00:52:40,166 - All right, what do you want then? - Uh, whole thing, really. 884 00:52:40,250 --> 00:52:41,666 Do you do that? 885 00:52:41,750 --> 00:52:44,291 Well, I can, but, you know, I'm a plumber. 886 00:52:44,375 --> 00:52:46,250 I mean, you'd want to find someone local. 887 00:52:46,458 --> 00:52:48,583 - Where is it again? - Greece. 888 00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:51,875 Yeah, okay, Greece. Yeah, you find a... There's a find-a-builder thing in Greece, 889 00:52:51,958 --> 00:52:53,517 like, you got to look on forums. Go online. 890 00:52:53,541 --> 00:52:57,625 Yeah. I thought it might be nice to do some work in the sun, be nice for you. 891 00:52:57,958 --> 00:52:59,500 Nice? It'll be like an oven, mate. 892 00:52:59,583 --> 00:53:01,142 Well, you can use it while you're out there. 893 00:53:01,166 --> 00:53:04,833 Have some mates out. Think of the parties. I'd visit. 894 00:53:08,541 --> 00:53:12,166 - Could have emailed this. - Well, it ain't as friendly, though. 895 00:53:16,291 --> 00:53:17,458 What you laughing at? 896 00:53:18,416 --> 00:53:21,666 That room in Romania. Do you remember? 897 00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:24,625 What made you think of that? 898 00:53:25,791 --> 00:53:27,875 Last time I saw you, pretty much. 899 00:53:29,500 --> 00:53:30,916 That was a mad night, wasn't it? 900 00:53:32,333 --> 00:53:33,958 Was it? No. 901 00:53:35,416 --> 00:53:38,750 Don't be a dick. There's only 100 bottles of this. I got the last case. 902 00:53:38,833 --> 00:53:41,333 - No, honestly. - We had that game the next day. 903 00:53:41,625 --> 00:53:43,000 Uh, the one I scored in. 904 00:53:43,208 --> 00:53:44,333 Thanks for reminding me. 905 00:53:45,041 --> 00:53:46,666 God, a lot's changed since then. 906 00:53:47,500 --> 00:53:51,416 Married. Divorced. Two kids. 907 00:53:53,708 --> 00:53:55,583 Jojo mentioned you were seeing someone. 908 00:53:57,750 --> 00:53:58,833 Gary. 909 00:54:02,750 --> 00:54:05,000 So, what's he like? 910 00:54:05,833 --> 00:54:08,250 - He's all right. - All right? 911 00:54:08,666 --> 00:54:09,833 Yeah, he's good to me. 912 00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:13,625 Do you live together? 913 00:54:13,875 --> 00:54:16,250 No. I mean, well, we like our own space, you know? 914 00:54:16,333 --> 00:54:18,666 - Oh, yeah? - Oh, it's nothing funny. 915 00:54:18,750 --> 00:54:20,833 It's just, uh... just the way it is. 916 00:54:21,875 --> 00:54:24,375 Do your teammates know about him from down the Marshes? 917 00:54:24,625 --> 00:54:28,458 Yeah, they're cool with it. I mean, there's some banter, but nothing. 918 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,125 Does he go down the pub after the game? Beers with the lads? 919 00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:34,625 Yeah, sometimes. 920 00:54:36,208 --> 00:54:40,500 Do you hold hands? In the pub, I mean. 921 00:54:42,583 --> 00:54:43,750 Depends what pub. 922 00:54:46,458 --> 00:54:47,458 Yeah. 923 00:54:51,708 --> 00:54:54,291 - Mind if I, uh... - Yeah, do us one while you're at it. 924 00:54:55,333 --> 00:54:58,625 - All right. What about you, man? - Hmm? 925 00:54:58,750 --> 00:55:00,500 - You seeing anyone? - Uh... 926 00:55:03,125 --> 00:55:05,208 It's hard to meet people. 927 00:55:05,708 --> 00:55:07,588 You've got about a million followers on Twitter! 928 00:55:10,125 --> 00:55:12,833 Real people, you know? 929 00:55:14,500 --> 00:55:17,416 - You been LA? - Mm-mm. 930 00:55:19,041 --> 00:55:22,250 They have these parties that are exclusively 931 00:55:22,333 --> 00:55:26,083 - for famous people and billionaires. - Serious? 932 00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:28,206 You have to check your phone in at the door. 933 00:55:29,583 --> 00:55:30,958 You been America? 934 00:55:32,041 --> 00:55:33,958 - Never got round to it. - Wha... 935 00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:36,416 Well, you should. 936 00:55:37,375 --> 00:55:38,750 It's got everything. 937 00:55:39,250 --> 00:55:42,500 Midwest, I adore the Midwest. 938 00:55:42,583 --> 00:55:45,458 You can drive for ten hours and not see a fucking soul. 939 00:55:45,541 --> 00:55:47,791 Where else does that happen, eh? 940 00:55:47,875 --> 00:55:51,916 There's nothing, just silence. 941 00:55:53,125 --> 00:55:54,791 Can hear your own heartbeat. 942 00:56:07,083 --> 00:56:10,833 About that night, uh... I just want to clear the air, 943 00:56:10,916 --> 00:56:13,375 'cause it's the kind of thing, if you don't talk about it, 944 00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:15,708 you put too much weight on it, you know? 945 00:56:15,791 --> 00:56:18,958 "Oh, this thing happened when we were kids." 946 00:56:19,041 --> 00:56:21,458 - Right. - Turn it into something it's not. 947 00:56:22,916 --> 00:56:25,083 I mean, when I got your text, I... 948 00:56:25,166 --> 00:56:27,958 Yeah, I mean, you could get all psychological on it, but... 949 00:56:28,375 --> 00:56:32,000 It was just shits and giggles, weren't it? 950 00:56:36,833 --> 00:56:37,833 Doughnut. 951 00:56:43,250 --> 00:56:44,250 Uh. 952 00:56:44,541 --> 00:56:46,059 It's getting late, man, I should, uh... 953 00:56:46,083 --> 00:56:49,250 Uh, no, you... You just got here. 954 00:56:49,333 --> 00:56:51,000 Yeah. I got work tomorrow. 955 00:56:51,083 --> 00:56:54,083 Nah. No, no, no. We should do something. What's up with you? 956 00:56:54,166 --> 00:56:56,500 - Like what? - Well, mark the occasion. 957 00:56:56,583 --> 00:56:58,263 - What, it's been eight, nine years? - Ten. 958 00:56:58,291 --> 00:57:00,142 Yeah, when was the last time you had a proper blowout 959 00:57:00,166 --> 00:57:01,875 like the old days? Come on! No. 960 00:57:01,958 --> 00:57:05,875 Tomorrow's another day. Tonight's me and you, mate. Go on! 961 00:57:06,791 --> 00:57:08,583 Let yourself off the leash. 962 00:57:13,750 --> 00:57:16,833 You're staying. You know you are. 963 00:57:16,916 --> 00:57:18,958 - You know you are. - All right. 964 00:57:19,041 --> 00:57:20,750 What you got in mind? 965 00:57:26,250 --> 00:57:27,958 Eh? 966 00:57:28,041 --> 00:57:31,125 Watch yourself. No, watch yourself, watch yourself. 967 00:57:34,250 --> 00:57:35,850 Shall we throw the telly out the window? 968 00:57:36,708 --> 00:57:38,500 Go on, then. 969 00:57:38,958 --> 00:57:40,838 Right, you get that end, I'll get the other end. 970 00:57:45,416 --> 00:57:48,041 Yep. One, two, three. 971 00:57:48,666 --> 00:57:51,458 Oh, mate. We're going to need a screwdriver. 972 00:57:51,541 --> 00:57:53,221 I'll ring down and get 'em to bring one up. 973 00:57:53,541 --> 00:57:55,250 What, "Can I borrow a screwdriver?" 974 00:57:55,875 --> 00:57:57,795 I ain't going to tell 'em why. Am I? 975 00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,833 - What? - No, imagine if you did. 976 00:57:59,916 --> 00:58:01,583 - What, tell 'em? Shall I? - Yeah. 977 00:58:01,666 --> 00:58:02,809 - Yeah. Yeah. - Shall I do it? 978 00:58:02,833 --> 00:58:06,416 Shall I do it? I'm going to do it. I would like a screwdriver. 979 00:58:07,208 --> 00:58:09,250 Oh, no, uh, the tool. 980 00:58:09,541 --> 00:58:11,458 Yeah, I need to get the telly off the wall. 981 00:58:11,541 --> 00:58:13,625 Sweet. 982 00:58:17,958 --> 00:58:20,333 Ah! 983 00:58:21,041 --> 00:58:24,166 Good to see you, mate. Life has not been the same without you! 984 00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:26,416 Here we go, here we go. 985 00:58:26,916 --> 00:58:28,000 Come on! 986 00:58:31,916 --> 00:58:34,333 All right, mate, all right, all right, chill! 987 00:58:37,416 --> 00:58:38,416 Jesus! 988 00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:43,583 You know what? It's a shame you didn't do your badges. 989 00:58:43,666 --> 00:58:44,976 You could've gone into management. 990 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,708 You'd have been good at that. 991 00:58:47,875 --> 00:58:50,875 Yeah, well, apparently people don't like to take orders from a black man. 992 00:58:53,208 --> 00:58:55,250 I got a lot of respect for you, Ade. 993 00:58:56,875 --> 00:59:00,125 - Respect? - Working man like yourself. 994 00:59:01,583 --> 00:59:03,041 What's that got to do with anything? 995 00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:08,000 No, I'm just saying, you are a grafter. 996 00:59:08,583 --> 00:59:09,666 A grafter? 997 00:59:11,250 --> 00:59:14,500 - Why are you being all... - What does it mean? You respect me. 998 00:59:15,708 --> 00:59:18,083 - It means I respect you. - Yeah, but why keep saying it? 999 00:59:18,166 --> 00:59:21,125 - You said it twice now. - 'Cause you're making me repeat myself. 1000 00:59:21,208 --> 00:59:23,708 All this, "Be nice for you to work in the sun." 1001 00:59:23,791 --> 00:59:24,951 - What does that mean? - Uh... 1002 00:59:26,375 --> 00:59:29,041 - Ade, we were having a laugh. - No, no, what's it all about? 1003 00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:31,166 Ade! 1004 00:59:31,541 --> 00:59:32,625 I ain't making this up. 1005 00:59:32,708 --> 00:59:34,601 Ade, why you so sad? 1006 00:59:34,625 --> 00:59:36,559 Don't do that fucking voice, yeah? I don't like it. 1007 00:59:36,583 --> 00:59:38,666 Are you pulling that card on me? 1008 00:59:38,750 --> 00:59:40,916 Just don't. I don't like it. We ain't kids no more. 1009 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:41,916 Oh! 1010 00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,375 Talk about a sense of humour breakdown. 1011 00:59:44,458 --> 00:59:45,791 Don't fucking get me started. 1012 00:59:45,875 --> 00:59:48,000 Jesus, Ade, what is it you can't handle here? Huh? 1013 00:59:48,083 --> 00:59:50,208 The booze, the pills, or the failure? Which one is it? 1014 00:59:50,333 --> 00:59:52,333 No, no! I'm just curious. Come on. 1015 00:59:53,208 --> 00:59:56,541 God, I'm sorry things didn't pan out, but it ain't my fault. 1016 00:59:56,958 --> 00:59:58,158 That's what you think this is. 1017 00:59:58,291 --> 00:59:59,583 Oh, what, what? 1018 00:59:59,666 --> 01:00:03,166 You'd rather be fixing toilets than doing what I do? 1019 01:00:03,291 --> 01:00:06,083 What, cooped up here like a nutter going for midnight swims? 1020 01:00:06,166 --> 01:00:09,541 - Yes, I would. - Bullshit. You're jealous. 1021 01:00:09,625 --> 01:00:12,541 Jase, no one gets to do the thing they dreamt about when they was a kid. 1022 01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:17,500 - That's life, mate. - Except I do, Ade. I do. 1023 01:00:17,583 --> 01:00:19,184 Of course I'd rather be playing professional. 1024 01:00:19,208 --> 01:00:20,500 - Of course I... - Thank you! 1025 01:00:20,583 --> 01:00:22,383 You're acting like you made some killer point. 1026 01:00:22,458 --> 01:00:24,833 - I'm a grown man. I moved on. - Mm-hmm... 1027 01:00:24,916 --> 01:00:26,583 so, why are you here, then? 1028 01:00:26,958 --> 01:00:28,500 - 'Cause you asked me here. - Oh! 1029 01:00:28,583 --> 01:00:30,333 Things must be going really well for you. 1030 01:00:30,416 --> 01:00:33,208 Drop everything, drive 200 miles like that. 1031 01:00:34,666 --> 01:00:35,866 Where does Gary think you are? 1032 01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:38,250 Away on business? 1033 01:00:38,416 --> 01:00:40,096 I am on business. You asked me for a quote. 1034 01:00:40,166 --> 01:00:43,041 You just wanted a taste, didn't you, hmm? 1035 01:00:43,125 --> 01:00:45,916 See how the other half lives, recapture the old glory. 1036 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,958 Feel a part of something, is that it? 1037 01:00:48,208 --> 01:00:49,583 - Think what you want. - Oh... 1038 01:00:49,666 --> 01:00:52,833 Do you tell your teammates you played with me, hmm? 1039 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,000 You do, don't you? 1040 01:00:55,083 --> 01:00:56,333 I bet they love it. 1041 01:00:56,708 --> 01:00:59,791 I bet they buy you drinks. I bet you tell 'em all the stories, 1042 01:00:59,875 --> 01:01:02,875 how you used to be someone, how you were this close, 1043 01:01:02,958 --> 01:01:05,416 but it never happened because you didn't get the luck. 1044 01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:08,250 - That's right, I didn't get the luck. - You reckon? 1045 01:01:08,375 --> 01:01:09,809 I was the better player and you know it. 1046 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,226 That's right, Ade. You were the better player. 1047 01:01:11,250 --> 01:01:13,458 - Thank you. - Still, you managed to fuck it up. 1048 01:01:13,791 --> 01:01:16,583 But that's you all over. Not enough bottle, not enough heart. 1049 01:01:16,666 --> 01:01:18,458 I didn't bottle it. I never had the chance. 1050 01:01:18,541 --> 01:01:21,059 - You had your chance. You didn't take it. - You never passed me the ball. 1051 01:01:21,083 --> 01:01:23,267 - Well, I didn't need to Ade. I scored. - I was in the better position. 1052 01:01:23,291 --> 01:01:24,976 No, the better position's the one you score from. 1053 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,333 That was the position I was in. 1054 01:01:26,416 --> 01:01:28,767 - You said you'd pass me the ball. - Well, it's not the playground. 1055 01:01:28,791 --> 01:01:30,392 It don't work like that in the big boys' game. 1056 01:01:30,416 --> 01:01:33,250 No, that was my only chance. I was subbed off after that. 1057 01:01:33,333 --> 01:01:36,458 No, you were subbed off because two minutes later, 1058 01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:38,916 you gave the ball away in our half and they scored. 1059 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,208 I was taking the man on. 1060 01:01:40,666 --> 01:01:42,791 Nine times out of ten, I'd have skinned him. 1061 01:01:43,375 --> 01:01:44,666 I did it every time in training. 1062 01:01:44,750 --> 01:01:46,625 We're all George Best in the back garden. 1063 01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:52,333 All right. 1064 01:01:53,541 --> 01:01:54,750 I made a bad choice. 1065 01:01:56,333 --> 01:01:57,875 My mind wasn't in the right place. 1066 01:02:00,083 --> 01:02:01,916 Why wasn't your mind in the right place? 1067 01:02:02,416 --> 01:02:03,416 You know why. 1068 01:02:05,916 --> 01:02:09,250 But we discussed this. I thought it was nothing. 1069 01:02:12,125 --> 01:02:13,601 You keep telling yourself that all you want, 1070 01:02:13,625 --> 01:02:15,305 but we both know what went on in that room. 1071 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,250 What? A hand-job? 1072 01:02:21,958 --> 01:02:24,708 The hand-job I gave you when we were kids? 1073 01:02:26,166 --> 01:02:28,583 You're harping on about a wank you had ten years ago? 1074 01:02:28,666 --> 01:02:32,500 Ade, I'm sorry if you got confused. 1075 01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:34,375 Confused? You're the one who got confused. 1076 01:02:37,166 --> 01:02:38,916 All right. 1077 01:02:40,166 --> 01:02:42,125 Okay, I tell you why I did what I did. 1078 01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:43,875 I did it to get in your head, 1079 01:02:44,166 --> 01:02:47,166 throw you off balance, make sure you weren't right for the game. 1080 01:02:47,250 --> 01:02:49,458 - Bullshit. - I didn't have your pace 1081 01:02:49,750 --> 01:02:54,458 or your first touch, but what I did have... was this. 1082 01:02:55,541 --> 01:02:56,750 I've always had it. 1083 01:02:57,333 --> 01:03:01,416 It's an instinct to know what needs to be done and then do it. 1084 01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,041 That... is all. 1085 01:03:06,916 --> 01:03:08,666 It wasn't the hand-job I got confused about. 1086 01:03:08,833 --> 01:03:10,208 Jesus fucking... 1087 01:03:11,041 --> 01:03:12,708 What was it, then? 1088 01:03:15,875 --> 01:03:17,435 It was the way you held me all night... 1089 01:03:19,166 --> 01:03:20,291 Kissed me... 1090 01:03:21,916 --> 01:03:23,291 Told me you loved me. 1091 01:03:25,666 --> 01:03:28,458 Next morning, I got on the coach. I waited for you. 1092 01:03:30,041 --> 01:03:32,250 When you stepped on, I looked up and I smiled at you. 1093 01:03:32,916 --> 01:03:35,000 You just walked by. You didn't even look. 1094 01:03:37,166 --> 01:03:39,517 Afterwards, I tried talking to you, but you were with the other lads 1095 01:03:39,541 --> 01:03:40,941 being a big man, 'cause you scored. 1096 01:03:42,583 --> 01:03:45,375 Next week, squad list goes up, my name's not there, yours is. 1097 01:03:46,625 --> 01:03:48,000 They don't renew my contract. 1098 01:03:49,583 --> 01:03:52,625 Jase, I texted you, I left voicemails. Nothing. 1099 01:03:54,083 --> 01:03:55,166 How could you do that? 1100 01:03:56,291 --> 01:03:58,083 After everything that passed between us. 1101 01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:10,041 I can't remember every detail, to be completely honest, Ade. 1102 01:04:10,125 --> 01:04:12,333 - Is that right? - A lot has changed since then. 1103 01:04:12,458 --> 01:04:16,375 I have had other things to worry about the last ten years. 1104 01:04:16,458 --> 01:04:18,375 Then why did you invite me here, Jase? 1105 01:04:18,916 --> 01:04:20,791 If you've got so many other things going on? 1106 01:04:21,666 --> 01:04:23,250 Just to see if you'd come back. 1107 01:04:25,750 --> 01:04:26,750 Back where? 1108 01:04:28,416 --> 01:04:30,833 To this room. 1109 01:04:33,125 --> 01:04:36,041 - I never been here before. - What you talking about? 1110 01:04:36,541 --> 01:04:39,125 - You just said "come back". - So? 1111 01:04:39,541 --> 01:04:42,708 - This is the first time I've been here. - I know. 1112 01:04:43,458 --> 01:04:45,658 So what do you mean, you wanted to see if I'd come back? 1113 01:04:46,375 --> 01:04:48,541 - Just to see if you'd come back... - Back to what? 1114 01:04:48,625 --> 01:04:49,666 To me! 1115 01:04:59,208 --> 01:05:01,208 Jase... Jase? 1116 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,400 Jase, you can't just leave it there. What'd you mean by that? 1117 01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:08,333 Hey. 1118 01:05:10,958 --> 01:05:13,333 This young man's brought our screwdriver. 1119 01:05:18,375 --> 01:05:20,666 So, what do you want with this? 1120 01:05:22,958 --> 01:05:25,291 We thought we might chuck the telly out the window. 1121 01:05:25,458 --> 01:05:29,166 It's proper bolted on, mate. Seriously. You got no chance. 1122 01:05:29,666 --> 01:05:31,833 - You won't tell anyone, will you? - What's it worth? 1123 01:05:31,916 --> 01:05:32,916 Jason... 1124 01:05:35,041 --> 01:05:36,517 We're in the middle of something here. 1125 01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:38,583 - Yeah, I'd say. What's your name? - Harry. 1126 01:05:38,666 --> 01:05:41,500 I'd say Harry was in the middle of something, wouldn't you? 1127 01:05:42,333 --> 01:05:44,750 It's a pleasure to meet you, Harry. 1128 01:05:44,833 --> 01:05:47,625 Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Jason. 1129 01:05:48,333 --> 01:05:49,333 This is Ade. 1130 01:05:50,416 --> 01:05:52,041 Say hello to Ade, Harry. 1131 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:54,250 You all right, Ade? Hello. 1132 01:05:55,708 --> 01:05:56,916 Ade's shy. 1133 01:05:57,583 --> 01:05:58,625 Oi. 1134 01:05:59,375 --> 01:06:01,875 - Oh! - Jase, he's at work. 1135 01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:04,083 It's all right. I clocked off ten minutes ago. 1136 01:06:04,333 --> 01:06:08,041 Ah! Just take four, see how you get on. 1137 01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:10,892 I'll have double, I reckon. By the looks of things, I'm playing catch-up. 1138 01:06:10,916 --> 01:06:13,416 Ooh! Good man! 1139 01:06:18,583 --> 01:06:22,083 So, hang on, if you've clocked off, 1140 01:06:22,958 --> 01:06:24,166 how come you're still here? 1141 01:06:24,583 --> 01:06:27,958 - I'm always looking for the party, me. - Oh! Do you hear that, Ade? 1142 01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:29,791 Harry loves to party. 1143 01:06:30,333 --> 01:06:32,041 Jase, we're talking about something here. 1144 01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:35,125 Ade, we're having a laugh. 1145 01:06:37,041 --> 01:06:39,333 Here, will you take a piccie for us? 1146 01:06:40,333 --> 01:06:41,933 Oh, you won't put that online, will you? 1147 01:06:41,958 --> 01:06:44,250 Of course not. 1148 01:06:45,750 --> 01:06:48,708 Come on, Ade, don't be a spoilsport. 1149 01:06:48,875 --> 01:06:51,416 Oh... Cor... 1150 01:06:51,500 --> 01:06:53,000 It's all right. I'll do a selfie. 1151 01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:55,125 Fucking hell. 1152 01:06:56,583 --> 01:06:57,875 Ooh. 1153 01:06:57,958 --> 01:06:59,041 Yeah, one more. 1154 01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:05,291 What you laughing at? 1155 01:07:05,666 --> 01:07:10,333 When I was younger, that video of you and that lap dancer was a bit of a staple. 1156 01:07:11,250 --> 01:07:13,791 I put it on once when I was shagging my girlfriend. 1157 01:07:13,916 --> 01:07:17,750 I took a selfie of me and her watching you. 1158 01:07:17,958 --> 01:07:19,666 Sent it to all my mates. 1159 01:07:20,083 --> 01:07:21,583 We broke up soon after that. 1160 01:07:21,750 --> 01:07:23,916 I hate girls who haven't got a sense of humour. 1161 01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:27,250 Oh! It's important. 1162 01:07:27,333 --> 01:07:28,750 - Yeah! - Mm. 1163 01:07:30,791 --> 01:07:31,833 Is that real? 1164 01:07:32,375 --> 01:07:34,875 Mm-hmm. You want it? 1165 01:07:36,416 --> 01:07:37,416 Really? 1166 01:07:38,250 --> 01:07:39,291 Mmm. 1167 01:07:40,458 --> 01:07:41,875 Oh! 1168 01:07:45,916 --> 01:07:49,416 Am I the most famous person you've ever met? 1169 01:07:52,750 --> 01:07:54,250 Er, yeah? 1170 01:07:54,333 --> 01:07:56,125 Fuck. 1171 01:07:56,583 --> 01:08:00,041 Though I once met Jimmy Savile. 1172 01:08:00,333 --> 01:08:01,791 He'd come to my school. 1173 01:08:02,250 --> 01:08:04,010 They wouldn't invite him now, I don't reckon. 1174 01:08:04,958 --> 01:08:07,416 - He's dead. - Yeah, and that. 1175 01:08:09,791 --> 01:08:12,000 He's funny, isn't he? 1176 01:08:15,166 --> 01:08:17,416 You... You're funny. 1177 01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:19,000 - Am I? - Yeah. 1178 01:08:19,416 --> 01:08:21,041 Yeah, I am actually. 1179 01:08:22,250 --> 01:08:24,291 What do you think we should do with Harry, Ade? 1180 01:08:24,708 --> 01:08:26,833 Well, I'm up for anything, really. 1181 01:08:26,916 --> 01:08:29,041 I mean, my mates say I've got no boundaries. 1182 01:08:29,125 --> 01:08:31,541 I'm one of those people that can just drink and drink. 1183 01:08:31,625 --> 01:08:34,125 I don't get drunk. I don't even get hangovers. 1184 01:08:34,208 --> 01:08:37,458 All right, you've had your fun. It's time Harry left, Jase. 1185 01:08:37,833 --> 01:08:40,458 - Either he's off or I'm out. - What do you think, Harry? 1186 01:08:40,916 --> 01:08:43,166 It's your room, innit? 1187 01:08:43,250 --> 01:08:46,041 - I'm not messing around. - I don't care either way. 1188 01:08:46,125 --> 01:08:47,666 Just make a decision. 1189 01:08:50,958 --> 01:08:55,166 Oh. Well, it wouldn't be the first time you lost your nerve. 1190 01:08:56,708 --> 01:08:57,708 What was that? 1191 01:08:58,875 --> 01:09:01,875 Hmm? Don't think I don't know what you're doing. 1192 01:09:03,083 --> 01:09:04,166 What am I doing? 1193 01:09:04,708 --> 01:09:07,791 Ade, what am I doing, hmm? 1194 01:09:07,875 --> 01:09:09,515 What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? 1195 01:09:09,583 --> 01:09:11,541 I don't know what I'm doing. What am I doing? 1196 01:09:11,625 --> 01:09:12,958 Huh? What am I doing, huh? 1197 01:09:13,041 --> 01:09:15,458 Aha! What am I doing, Harry? 1198 01:09:15,541 --> 01:09:18,583 I don't know! What am I doing? 1199 01:09:18,666 --> 01:09:20,017 What, you think this is too much for me? 1200 01:09:20,041 --> 01:09:23,333 - Oh, what am I doing? What am I doing? - You think I'm afraid of this? 1201 01:09:23,416 --> 01:09:25,500 What am I doing, mate? What the fuck am I doing? 1202 01:09:25,583 --> 01:09:27,416 - Ade! Ade! - Shut the fuck up! 1203 01:09:34,875 --> 01:09:36,833 All right. 1204 01:09:38,583 --> 01:09:39,750 Let's do this. 1205 01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:46,416 Why don't we... 1206 01:09:48,041 --> 01:09:49,125 play a game? 1207 01:09:49,208 --> 01:09:50,309 What's the game? 1208 01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:54,125 Ooh. All in good time, Harry. 1209 01:09:54,208 --> 01:09:55,750 All in good time. 1210 01:09:56,750 --> 01:09:58,041 This is bonkers. 1211 01:09:58,166 --> 01:10:01,000 Reminds me of this stag do I went on in Krakow, right? 1212 01:10:01,083 --> 01:10:04,083 White water rafting in the morning, Auschwitz in the afternoon, 1213 01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:07,625 back to the hotel for a shower, quick bite to eat, then on to a sex club. 1214 01:10:07,708 --> 01:10:11,666 - Here. - Mmm, mmm. Cheers. 1215 01:10:11,750 --> 01:10:15,666 And the best man, he got this prossie. Now, she sits the groom down on a chair 1216 01:10:15,750 --> 01:10:18,291 and does this full on strip show down to her knickers, 1217 01:10:18,375 --> 01:10:21,125 whipped cream on her tits and that and then, I'm not lying... 1218 01:10:21,541 --> 01:10:25,750 She unzips him, sprays some of the cream on his cock 1219 01:10:25,833 --> 01:10:28,750 and starts noshing him off like she's not had a hot dinner in weeks. 1220 01:10:28,875 --> 01:10:30,875 His dad's there, his uncle, 1221 01:10:30,958 --> 01:10:33,833 father of the bride, and we're all, like, 1222 01:10:33,958 --> 01:10:35,666 shouting things. This is the best bit. 1223 01:10:35,750 --> 01:10:39,583 Just as the groom's about to pop, and you can tell he's getting close, 1224 01:10:39,666 --> 01:10:41,476 'cause his eyes are going like he's having an epic. 1225 01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:42,416 Oh, yeah. 1226 01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:45,666 This prossie shoves her hands into her pants, reaches back, 1227 01:10:45,750 --> 01:10:49,625 and flops out the biggest cock you've ever seen. 1228 01:10:49,708 --> 01:10:51,541 It's a fucking lady boy. 1229 01:10:51,625 --> 01:10:54,708 We were like, "Where the fuck you stashing that?" 1230 01:10:54,791 --> 01:10:57,041 'Cause she had this tiny little thong on. 1231 01:10:57,125 --> 01:11:00,416 Oh, and the fucking groom's face, though. 1232 01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:03,791 - Oh? Oh, yeah? - He cried, actually. It went a bit dark. 1233 01:11:04,125 --> 01:11:07,833 So what's the game, then? 1234 01:11:08,541 --> 01:11:09,875 Forfeit or dare. 1235 01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,851 - What's the forfeit? - You drink from the bucket. 1236 01:11:11,875 --> 01:11:14,392 I ask you to do something, you don't wanna do it, you have to drink. 1237 01:11:14,416 --> 01:11:15,500 All right, then. 1238 01:11:17,875 --> 01:11:18,958 Take off your shirt. 1239 01:11:26,500 --> 01:11:28,333 Oh. 1240 01:11:29,250 --> 01:11:30,541 And your trousers. 1241 01:11:34,625 --> 01:11:38,625 - Oh. Hey. Hold on to me. - Oh. Oh! 1242 01:11:40,416 --> 01:11:43,458 That was easy. 1243 01:11:43,541 --> 01:11:47,083 Mmm. Go on, Ade. 1244 01:11:47,666 --> 01:11:49,041 Do you see anything you fancy? 1245 01:11:50,833 --> 01:11:53,708 - Is it... Is it his turn now? - Yeah. 1246 01:11:58,250 --> 01:12:00,500 Let's have a go with this bucket, then. 1247 01:12:00,583 --> 01:12:01,583 Okay. 1248 01:12:03,833 --> 01:12:05,500 Oh. 1249 01:12:08,500 --> 01:12:10,291 Go on, one more. 1250 01:12:10,375 --> 01:12:11,375 Yeah? 1251 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,458 Jase. 1252 01:12:28,166 --> 01:12:30,000 Fucking hell, you boys play hard. 1253 01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:33,041 - You all right, Harry? - Yeah. 1254 01:12:33,125 --> 01:12:36,666 For a moment there, I thought you'd lost the plot a bit. 1255 01:12:36,916 --> 01:12:39,916 Everything went dark and then there was this bright light and, 1256 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:43,250 well, it was like what my Aunt Ida said happened when she had a heart attack 1257 01:12:43,333 --> 01:12:46,666 and woke up and saw Jesus stood next to fucking Elton John. 1258 01:12:49,458 --> 01:12:52,958 Right, I did it. I got a belter! This is for you. 1259 01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:57,583 I dare you to kiss him with tongues. 1260 01:12:57,875 --> 01:13:00,041 Boom! 1261 01:13:04,750 --> 01:13:05,875 Yeah. 1262 01:13:07,083 --> 01:13:08,333 Yeah, why not? 1263 01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:16,416 Now, don't do anything you're not comfortable with, Ade. 1264 01:13:23,333 --> 01:13:24,708 Look at you. 1265 01:13:26,125 --> 01:13:27,958 All serious. 1266 01:13:49,125 --> 01:13:50,500 I got a better idea. 1267 01:13:51,291 --> 01:13:52,291 What is it? 1268 01:13:52,916 --> 01:13:55,916 - Why don't you kiss Ade? - What? It's not my turn. 1269 01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:58,458 It doesn't matter. I think he likes you. 1270 01:13:58,916 --> 01:14:00,208 - Does he? - Yeah. 1271 01:14:00,458 --> 01:14:02,000 - Fucking hell. - Go on. 1272 01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:04,750 I never kissed a fella before. 1273 01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:09,375 Are you sure he wants to? He's got a right face on him. 1274 01:14:09,458 --> 01:14:11,000 I don't think Ade knows what he wants. 1275 01:14:12,208 --> 01:14:13,541 Or maybe he does. 1276 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:34,750 - Now, get the fuck out. - What? 1277 01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:38,208 - I said get the fuck out! - Get the fuck off me, you homo. 1278 01:14:38,291 --> 01:14:40,375 - I'll go when he says to go. - He's right. 1279 01:14:41,791 --> 01:14:42,791 Fuck off. 1280 01:14:44,333 --> 01:14:45,375 Party's over. 1281 01:14:47,666 --> 01:14:49,791 You were fun for five minutes. I'm bored now. 1282 01:14:51,083 --> 01:14:53,541 You fucking pair of shit hounds. 1283 01:14:53,625 --> 01:14:55,541 What am I, the warm-up? 1284 01:14:56,125 --> 01:14:59,291 You know, no wonder you're a shit footballer these days. 1285 01:14:59,708 --> 01:15:03,000 Every time you get one-on-one with the goalkeeper, you can't work out 1286 01:15:03,083 --> 01:15:06,416 whether to put the ball in the net, or his dick in your mouth. 1287 01:15:08,291 --> 01:15:12,041 Yeah, laugh it up, you queer bastard! 1288 01:15:12,916 --> 01:15:17,750 It's about as funny as another man putting your kids to bed. 1289 01:15:19,375 --> 01:15:22,541 - Ow! Don't! Fucking weirdo! - Come here. 1290 01:15:23,125 --> 01:15:26,000 - Come here. Get up. Get up, get up. - No, no, no. 1291 01:15:26,083 --> 01:15:28,000 - No! - Get in! Get in! 1292 01:15:28,166 --> 01:15:30,708 Jase! 1293 01:15:30,958 --> 01:15:34,500 - Good boy, good boy. Good doggie. - Jase! 1294 01:15:35,458 --> 01:15:39,416 Ah! Fucking psycho faggot! 1295 01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:42,250 You think we don't know what goes on in here? 1296 01:15:42,458 --> 01:15:45,708 Lads up and down the stairs all hours. You think we don't know? 1297 01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:48,375 Oh, tell your friends, Harry, get some free drinks. 1298 01:15:48,458 --> 01:15:52,000 Yeah, this is going on Twitter, mate. See how you like that. 1299 01:15:52,083 --> 01:15:55,291 Harry, son, I got people for that. This goes on Twitter, 1300 01:15:55,375 --> 01:15:58,416 I'll own your house and your nan's house, 1301 01:15:59,833 --> 01:16:03,750 and your children's house, if you ever get that far in life. 1302 01:16:03,833 --> 01:16:07,375 Now, off you trot, son. There's grown-ups talking. 1303 01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,583 Do you reckon he was showing off? 1304 01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:34,458 I don't think you're well. 1305 01:16:35,166 --> 01:16:39,000 No? I'm tip-top, mate. I don't know what you're talking about. 1306 01:16:41,291 --> 01:16:42,541 What am I here for? 1307 01:16:43,708 --> 01:16:45,583 Truth be told, 1308 01:16:47,416 --> 01:16:49,541 I was thinking of retraining as a plumber. 1309 01:16:50,166 --> 01:16:51,916 Thought you could give me some tips. 1310 01:16:56,208 --> 01:16:58,500 That's good, Jase. That's very good. 1311 01:16:58,583 --> 01:16:59,583 The villa... 1312 01:17:03,833 --> 01:17:05,500 Phew. I want you to have it. 1313 01:17:11,583 --> 01:17:12,583 It's yours. 1314 01:17:15,416 --> 01:17:19,250 You could live there. I could visit. 1315 01:17:21,208 --> 01:17:23,048 - We could look at the view. - Are you serious? 1316 01:17:25,500 --> 01:17:26,791 My, um... 1317 01:17:30,208 --> 01:17:32,666 My knee's chalk. 1318 01:17:35,500 --> 01:17:38,291 Ever seen a mountain crumble, fall into the sea? 1319 01:17:39,500 --> 01:17:40,583 Could go any time. 1320 01:17:41,916 --> 01:17:43,750 Now that you need me, you want me to stay? 1321 01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:54,208 You're the last thing I remember... 1322 01:17:55,291 --> 01:17:58,375 of any... value. 1323 01:18:04,541 --> 01:18:06,458 When I got your text, Jase, 1324 01:18:09,041 --> 01:18:10,458 I had some notion... 1325 01:18:21,750 --> 01:18:22,791 I can't. 1326 01:18:25,083 --> 01:18:26,208 I'm sorry. 1327 01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:31,083 I just can't. 1328 01:18:36,291 --> 01:18:38,541 Well, it was only a suggestion. 1329 01:18:38,875 --> 01:18:40,635 I don't know why you're making a thing of it. 1330 01:18:53,333 --> 01:18:55,013 Do you know what I feel when I look at you? 1331 01:18:55,708 --> 01:18:56,833 Is it pity? 1332 01:18:59,041 --> 01:19:00,559 You mean you got the moral high ground, 1333 01:19:00,583 --> 01:19:03,500 because you fix people's toilets for a living? 1334 01:19:06,375 --> 01:19:09,750 I scored at the San Siro. 1335 01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:14,958 Eighty thousand people rose to their feet. 1336 01:19:16,208 --> 01:19:20,166 I inspire love, devotion. 1337 01:19:21,416 --> 01:19:22,625 What do you get, Ade? 1338 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:25,000 Invoices? 1339 01:19:27,541 --> 01:19:29,083 I love someone and he loves me. 1340 01:19:29,250 --> 01:19:32,083 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1341 01:19:33,291 --> 01:19:36,250 The great love affair with Gary. 1342 01:19:37,333 --> 01:19:39,250 Don't tell me it doesn't eat away at you. 1343 01:19:39,625 --> 01:19:41,458 What if? What if? What if? 1344 01:19:43,541 --> 01:19:45,666 Look me in the eyes and tell me there aren't moments 1345 01:19:45,750 --> 01:19:50,291 when you wouldn't give everything to live the way I do. 1346 01:19:54,250 --> 01:19:55,416 Just what I thought. 1347 01:19:57,166 --> 01:19:59,666 You haven't the nerve to live like I do, Ade. 1348 01:20:00,625 --> 01:20:03,500 It would scare the shit out of you. 1349 01:20:06,875 --> 01:20:09,791 Do you want to know why I never returned your calls? 1350 01:20:12,750 --> 01:20:17,625 It's because I didn't want to be infected by your failure. 1351 01:20:18,583 --> 01:20:20,833 - Well, at least I live in the real world. - Oh! 1352 01:20:21,916 --> 01:20:25,125 I live in the same world you do, mate. 1353 01:20:27,083 --> 01:20:29,416 Just better parts of it. 1354 01:20:35,666 --> 01:20:37,541 You must be very happy, then. 1355 01:20:46,875 --> 01:20:47,875 Please. 1356 01:20:49,833 --> 01:20:51,208 Please, Ade... 1357 01:20:53,666 --> 01:20:55,208 I don't know what to do! 1358 01:20:58,666 --> 01:21:00,708 Did you really do it to get into my head, Jase? 1359 01:21:08,666 --> 01:21:09,958 I don't know. 1360 01:21:42,541 --> 01:21:44,208 Fuck. 101035