All language subtitles for Summer Night (1986) -- Lina Wertmuller

A Turkish moon is passing

No, this moon is Hawaiian

But no

This is the moon

Of Shanghai

Dance with me, my love

Sway with me, like this

The moon of Shanghai

Adventure, palms and pearls

And, who knows...

A pirate with a gold earring

What beautiful rhythm

Full of coincidences

Life, like my room

Is not so romantic

But a scarf over the lamp

Can help you

There's a poster on the wall

With palms and the sea

Green and blue

Come on, love, come on

Move your hips, yes

For us, this is the moon of Shanghai

At the moment,
Signora Bolk is in flight

personally supervising
the recuperation efforts of the pelicans.

Yesterday, a Dutch tanker
had a fuel spill

and we, alone, can prevent
the danger of pollution.

You'll know our famous ecological fleet.
Yes, our pelicans.

It's fantastic.
Look, here's one of our babies returning.

With one of those little toys

we can recuperate 90o/o of the spills
in the ocean.

They've prevented
some true ecological disasters.

Furthermore, we replace oxygen
into the polluted sea

and we dredge and recycle
the garbage.

So after years of destruction,

The Bolk, I mean,
the lady here,

works to bring back nature.

We are the world's leaders
in the ecological sector.

You'll know our slogan:

"Get rich watching over nature."

That, like all the rest,

is the creation of Signora Bolk.

True, she's pushy,

but with character
and no fear of risk.

She's mythical...

truly fantastic.

Salvatore Cantalamessa, called "Turi"?

At your service.

FBI, CIA,

Interpol...

I have a project...
very delicate, very dangerous.

Practically impossible.

Does that interest you?

Unfortunately, Signora,
I'm currently retired.

Why not think about it?

Signora, I know you'll make
an economically interesting offer,

but I don't need the money.

Consider me retir...

Consider me un-retired, Signora.

Of course.

So, is that him?

- No. Are you sure?
- Very sure, Signora.

I made a very thorough investigation.

I believe it,
given all the time you took.

Only the absolute
minimum needed, Signora.

Run the tape, please.

Signora, as an expert,

I must permit myself to warn you
that this project can't be done.

No? And why not?

Because, Signora...

Signora, it's a criminal project.

The risk is too high.

Not to mention the 30 years in jail.

Excuse me, but,

I hired a military blitz expert

because I want guerilla action.

You sound like a desk clerk.

If I wanted to send a letter,
my lawyer would have been enough.

Anyway, as the operational base,

I suggest my little island
off the coast of Sardinia.

It's perfect and almost inaccessible.

No doubt, Signora,
but how can I say this?

This project can't be done.

Again?

Time is short, Signor Cantalamessa.

Don't make me waste it.

If you don't want to
or if you're afraid...

Signora, I'm not afraid of anyone.

Bad, that's very bad.

A little prudence would
have helped you physically.

You've lost a few of your pieces.

What happened to your eye?

Nicaragua.

Yep.

The mistake of my explosives expert.

The hand was in Tehran.

An error in calculation...
My fault too.

- And the foot...
- I don't give a shit.

Let me understand something.

Can you organize a blitz?

Signora, that's my specialty.

But I did it for the government.

So, let's go.
We're wasting time.

Just consider me a government!

Get the hell out of here!
Fast!

Well, well.
The leader of the pack.

Pull him up.

Let's have a look.

That's him?

Well!

It's him?
You absolutely sure about that?

Very sure.

This could be very embarrassing
if this is some innocent tourist...

Signora, this is Giuseppe Catania...

the brains behind every recent
kidnapping in Italy.

He operates out of Sardinia,
but he's Sicilian, like me.

With so many Sardinian kidnappers...
a Sicilian here?

He moved here 10 years ago...
a family schism.

You mean family, family
or Family, Family?

Signora... Family.

He's an old-style hood.

He didn't like drugs.

So he moved his operations here
and specialized in other work.

And it's him?

It's him, Signora.
It's him.

Oh, so many chains.

Are they made by Bulgari?

We found them in his dog kennel.

We didn't want to be obvious
and buy them, so we took these.

Yes, this elegance
is a bit pretentious.

For a bum,
he's too elegant for comfort.

All of his clothes are Valentino,

right down to his shorts!

Oh, excuse me.
Down to his "intimates."

What is this?

I have the same scarf
in Cortina!

With our money!

Well, Signora,

we have to talk.

Yes, but after 10:00.

- No, it's important that we proceed...
- Open the door.

- With maximum speed and organization!
- After 10:00!

Well, I'm here. So?

Signora, with this closed circuit,

we can check on him anytime.

Wonderful.

Now we'll have a good laugh.

Such apocalyptic fury!

How sweet!

Learn the joy of being chained.

Turn up the sound, Turi.

Look how he fights.

The idiot's going to hurt himself.

Like a wounded lion.

Now you're a poet, Turi?

"A wounded lion."

Furious shit!

Signora, if you will permit me
to speak freely,

as your modest, poetic employee,

I'll begin with that big,

whore of a mother...

I detest vulgarity.

But look how he fights.

- You son of a bitch!
- He's crazy.

Good Lord.

He's really crazy.
I wish my partners could see him.

Please, Signora,

secrecy is our only insurance.

If you go public, I quit.

Yes, yes. How boring...

- Boring? It's 30 years in jail.
- Are you worried?

Me, worried? No, Signora.
It would be 30 years for you.

Fine, fine, I understand.

Were you like this in the CIA,
always repeating? I get it already!

30 years?

My goodness.

Look at him.
He's really a beast.

Will this last long?

You'll see. Two weeks in solitary

will crack his mind.

Anguish enters the cracks,
then fear,

then fear gives way to terror.

There have been experimental
psychological treatments done.

These are very Freudian methods.

I'm not interested in Freud,
that Viennese troublemaker.

So now the police
are psychoanalysts too.

Signora, I am not the police.

Besides my degree
in International Law,

I am also a psychologist.

That too?

Signora, what's that supposed
to mean?

I am a psychologist.

- With that eye?
- With this eye, yes.

Okay.

I will be leaving for two weeks.

Is that going to be too much
in solitary?

I don't want him to go insane.

Two weeks, Signora.
Trust my experience. Give me credit.

Sure, I do.
It's very expensive experience.

Psychologist, whatever.

You can do it.

Take these things off!

You think I'm a dog?

But, hey, what do you think I am, a dog?
What's this stuff?

What have you put on me?
I can't see a damn thing! What's this?

You son of a bitch corpse.

I can smell you.

And you...

You know you're digging your own grave.

You know who I am?

I'll tear your heart out
and eat it.

You got that, you son of a bitch?
This silence bullshit, is it your idea?

Do you think you can scare me

with this dark, silent game?

Yes.

Silence is my friend.

I can stay three years
without uttering a word.

People who know me call me

"The Rock."

Shit!

I fucked you!

Bastard! You must be
a Sicilian dickhead!

I came back just for this,
do you realize that?

Fire!

Hey, boss.
The best!

The best shot
in the Washington department.

Just like old times.

Baltimore?

Industrial Ecological Conference?

Ah, it's you, Signora!

Yes, two weeks of silence
have smoothed his feathers.

You'll see.

Well done, Turi.

So he's calm?

I'll speak with him personally.

No, Signora.
Absolutely not.

Absolutely yes.

I've returned just for that!

I came back just for this,
do you realize that?

This enterprise is my personal war.

I convinced the others
to form the stockholder's group.

All of us lost money
because of these kidnappings.

So it's not only to get back
the extorted money and our good image,

It's a matter of honor.

Now that
I've had some satisfaction,

you want to castrate me.

No, Signora.
I'm not castrating anyone.

You're castrating me.

He's my mouse
and I want to play.

Please don't, Signora.

Personal contact creates danger
and disturbs the process.

- Bullshit.
- Signora, how can you?

Well, excuse me.
No, I repeat, bullshit.

Don't take it personally, but if you try
to stop me, Turi... forget it.

And do you know
why it's bullshit?

Because maximum
personal contact is necessary

in order for the kidnappers
to know their enemy.

The media made us look
like shitheads.

We paid millions letting them
blackmail and terrorize us.

It's enough.

It's time they learn to respect

and fear the ruling class.

And not only for the kidnappers,
but for the public as well.

We are the cream of the land

and we allowed these bastards
to believe they can dictate.

It's time to put them in their place
and change our image.

Listen, what if we use
the mass media?

Some good publicity
to change our image.

What about a press conference?

Signora, are you crazy?

That's repulsive!

Excuse me, but my work
depends on secrecy!

"Secret Agent."

You want a publicity agent.
I quit.

What do you mean, "quit"?

Okay, super expert.

You win. We'll be discreet.
But I get to speak to the prisoner.

Give me that thing.

- Which button?
- This one.

Are you sure he'll hear me?

He'll hear, he'll hear.

Kidnapper, having fun?

I...

don't know who the fuck you are...

or what you are...

but you're digging your own grave.

Oh, I'm terrified.

I'm shitting my pants.

Look at him.

Listen well, my boy.
Accounts: Gennargentu

at Credit Suisse.

Account: Grazia Plena,
The Bank of Zurich,

and Account: Orosei
at the Bank of Lausanne.

Am I clear?

Who are you?

The one who is giving it back to you
and sticking it up your ass.

- What do you want from me?
- One hundred million.

Yes, Mr. Gangster.

I've done my calculations right.

One hundred million,

the known total income
over your organization

over the last ten years.

Naturally,

that's without compounded interest,

inflation and expenses.

One hundred million.

Yes, sir.
One hundred million.

You are crazy.

- Nope.
- You're crazy.

I'm precise, Mr. Gangster.

I'm tenaciously precise.

I'm speaking of your last five
major kidnappings,

from the Pautasso kidnapping
to the Piana-Joyce one.

You remember them, don't you?
You organized all of them.

It is perfect accounting.

Not the incompetent confusion

of the "Anonymous Kidnappers Company."

What a mess!

Your accounting
would make a chicken laugh.

Ridiculous.

You certainly have no business sense.

Tied up, captive, blindfolded...
worse than a chicken.

Money is really not your thing.

Come to us
and see what it's for.

- You who?
- The ruling class!

That's who.

Listen, Ruling Class...

come here and talk seriously.

I'm sick of the loudspeakers.

Or are you scared?

Me, scared?

Listen, boy,
you're a total megalomaniac.

Blindfolded and bound...

Who do you think you are
that you think you scare me?

Who are you?

The Spectre?

The Mafia?

And you...
You!

Who do you think you are,
Ruling Class?

I'm exactly that.

I'm the representative
of a company

that made a serious analysis
of investments and profits

in the same way we would
open a factory.

An association of rich people.

Perhaps you can't understand that.

What the fuck are you saying,
you whore?

Stop mumbling, you country bumpkin.

The rich, who all of you envy.

You envy us all.

Everything in Italy
moves on envy, especially politics.

But that... Oh, that is envy,
pure and simple.

And you too.
But you...

Communist? No!

Because that would be
too bourgeois.

Surely, you're the hero
of your hypothetical revolution.

Why not?

The media hasn't opened
an ideological umbrella over your head?

Aren't you the Robin Hood
of the middle class

when you mug old ladies?

Isn't abduction a revolutionary act
in the name of the proletariat?

You're nothing more than a bum!

What the fuck
are you talking about?

Yes, Mr. Gangster.

You're finished blackmailing me!

We rich are better than you
and that's that!

We work, we get busy...

We built,

we risked!

We are the economic miracle!

Fiat, Azzurra,

Fellini, Valentino

We are the "made in Italy"

and you think you can
screw us forever?

You've done well until now
because we had other distractions.

You broke our balls
and now you'll give back and stop all this.

A beautiful signature...

Here. Sign here.

- What shall I sign?
- The usual letter to the family.

"We demand payment," etc., etc.

Never!

You're disgusting.

How uneducated!

He dares to spit! Ah!

That's worse for you, boy.

We don't need the money

so there's no hurry on our end.

You can stay buried alive here
for ten years.

Syphilitic bitch!
You're shit!

Oxford, eh? Or perhaps
you studied at Eaton?

Very well, until you sign,

bread and water!

You gigantic whore!

I'll drink your fucking blood!

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

That's what I mean.

It's been five years
of wonderful.

My love...

Just once, while we make love

you can call me
a filthy pig.

Maybe I'd have a stroke.

You know, the other night
a man called me

a syphilitic bitch.

What?
Who dared to say this?

A temperamental and beautiful boy.

My darling...

When you are making love
with me

do you ever think of someone like

a beautiful country girl

or a black girl?

I'm only bullshitting, love.

Even if the dollar keeps dropping,

there's no hope
for postindustrialists

until they understand
that you make more money

giving value to nature
instead of destroying it.

The only hope for true progress

is by improving the world
rather than destroying it.

We had so many consequences.

Love, you're a true
postindustrial industrialist

with irresistible green eyes.

What is this, love?

"91/2 Weeks"?

That's crazy bullshit.

We get dirty and nothing happens.

If the Americans aren't erotic,

imagine you Swiss!

Enough already.

Yes, hello?

One moment, please.

- It's for you, my love.
- Thank you.

Yes?

It's you, Turi.

How are you?

Something's wrong
with my little cock?

Worn out?

Why worn out?

Skinny?

I said "no food"
just to say something,

not to kill him.

Fine, fine.
I'm coming.

A month of intravenous feedings.

You ordered and I obeyed.

That's all well and good,
but have some common sense!

Do I have to think of everything?

Yes. You said it
and we did it.

Those are the consequences.

I'm a responsible man,

I am a serious person.

Let's not argue about this.

- I wonder if the solarium is ready.
- Excuse me?

I said, is the solarium ready?

A month without protein
could kill him.

What if he had a heart attack?

- I wonder about you experts.
- Well, Signora,

when one is a general,
one shouldn't wonder.

No, sorry, dear.
No way.

I take my responsibilities
and so should you.

You don't think I do?

Up to a point.

You forbade my press conference,

you deteriorated my prisoner
and now you're getting cranky.

I have always
been totally autonomous.

- You took that away!
- I want to check the prisoner now.

I'm going directly to his cell.

Please, Signora.
No personal contact.

We have a closed-circuit TV for that.

Here, here.

Please. Go on.

My God,
what have you done to him?

Oh, my goodness.
You've destroyed him.

My God! God!

I want to vomit.
It looks like Auschwitz.

First and foremost,
we must rebuild him.

Bring him to the solarium.

- The solarium?
- That's an order.

This way.

Put him over there.

Go on. Out.

Fix the chains.

My goodness.
Look at him.

Look at how skinny.

Pitiful, malnourished.

His ribs are visible.
Look at this.

He has no value at all like this.

Turi, you're responsible for this.

You did this
and you must fix the damage.

Who'll pay for this?

He has no value at all
like this.

I'll give you a week.

You have one week
to rebuild this ruin.

- How old is he?
- Thirty.

- Thirty!
- Thirty, forty?

Whatever.

Handsome.
Handsome beast.

Ah, you like it?
Better that way.

Why better?

- No reason.
- No?

No, wait a minute,
You were being ironic there.

You don't find him beautiful?

Excuse me, Signora,
I'm no connoisseur.

Only women are beautiful to me.

We should go, Signora.

He'll awaken soon...
the beast.

We should go.

The light.

Did they poison me?

Well?

He's eating.

Look at him eat.
He makes me nauseous.

Whore.

The audio was on by mistake.
I'll turn it off.

Leave it.

Listen, you,
instead of the insults,

why don't you learn to eat
with your mouth closed?

You're a gangster, okay,
but do you have to be disgusting?

With your mouth open,
one can see

that repulsive wad
of chewed-up, wet food.

It's disgusting.

I disgust you?

Excellent!

Good?

But before you vomit,

perhaps you would be kind enough
to tell me

why I came from hell...

into paradise?

What the hell?
Shit!

Turi, turn off the alarm.

This is a perfect, inaccessible,

technological paradise

of maximum security.

And you are here
because you must be healthy

when your ransom is paid.

So eat, get strong,

listen to music.

classical, of course.

We'll raise your level some.

Get some fresh air.
You have everything you need.

Not everything.

No, because

I feel a tight ring
around my head.

You can have an aspirin.

Understand one thing, my boy,
we're not torturers.

We are fair people.
Understand?

What "aspirin," Signora?

His "ring" is something else.

Respectfully, he needs women,
not aspirin.

Oh, what a pig.

Pig? He's a man.

He'd like that, eh?
lmagine.

Ten minutes ago
he was near death.

Now, one breakfast is enough

to make him break loose
with delirious testosterone.

Braggart!

Is the boat ready?
I want to swim.

- Shit.
- Where's he going?

What?

There's a helicopter headed
directly here.

- They may be able to see him.
- True.

Christ! The solarium.
Get him down quickly!

What the hell are you doing?

Where are you taking me?

Wait!
Where are you taking me?

Wait, I have to blow my nose.

Wait.

Where are you?
You idiot!

Where do you think
you can go like that?

Give me the key
to open this!

- Don't be crazy...
- Give me the key!

The boss has it!

- Lead me to the sea. Over there?
- Over there!

The sea?
Where's the sea?

No, I'm scared!

There's no fence there!

The sea.

There's just a beautiful view!
Wait!

To the sea.

- Come on.
- Okay.

We'll splatter ourselves!

No! Wait! I'm scared!

Stop! There are only rocks!
No sea!

- Christ! My glasses!
- Where's the sea?

I can't see!
Not here... over there!

Is the fucking sea under here?

Yes.

I think... I hope!

Help! I can't swim!

Help!

I can't swim!

And we wonder
why people curse.

- Where is he?
- I don't feel so well.

I don't know how to swim.

Run! Run!

Wait!

That damned cream!

Wait. Don't go.

Don't be afraid.
Wait!

Wait!

Don't go away! Wait!

He's over there
by the white rocks.

- There.
- Fast boys!

Shit! The bastard
is by the rocks.

That woman
will give me a heart attack.

You, over there... follow me.
Careful.

- Absolutely nothing, boss.
- Nothing.

How, nothing?

How can he disappear like a cat?
He's bound and blindfolded!

- There have to be traces.
- There aren't any.

Do you want me to invent some?

Should I lie?
There aren't any!

It's not possible.

Try to find some.

Try to find some.

- So you didn't catch him?
- There's no escape from the island.

The waters are secured
with men and alarm nets.

The area is completely secured.

Get to the point.
You didn't catch him.

The lady likes to provoke me.

What, provoke?

You didn't catch him!

A bound, blindfolded,
starved bastard

was able to dupe you,

the Super Agent
of terrorism and guerilla warfare!

Now I understand all of that bullshit
about Tehran,

Vietnam and the whole
Nicaragua mess.

You're screwed up and incompetent!

Signora, you can't say that
to Salvatore Cantalamessa.

I do say it to Salvatore Cantalamessa.
A screwed-up incompetent!

- And I say, Signora, you broke my balls!
- Excuse me?

Signora, you broke my balls.

Is that clear?
I quit!

Oh, no. That's too easy, sweetheart!

Don't call me "sweetheart!"
I have my limits!

Fine. I won't call you sweetheart,
shit face.

Anyway, that's too easy.
I risk 30 years in jail

and you're offended.

Yes. You don't follow
rules or regulations.

You throw out orders
without my advice.

You offend me.
Signora, I am a serious person.

Screwed-up and incompetent?
Tell it to your mother!

I'll tell her that and worse!

What? Why such a face?

Well...

I am going to make a bet with you.

Why are you whispering?

Let's not be heard.

I bet that I can find him
in five minutes.

Now this.

A bet.
I'll accept any stakes.

- One million, a punch, a kiss.
- Punches? Kisses?

You're really making me angry.
You're losing your mind, Turi.

Fine, fine.

Consider it in honor of your beauty.
Permit me...

Let's see if he's ticklish.

He's sleeping.

The alarm.
Go give the alarm, please.

Well, excuse me.
Super Cop wants me to go?

You go and give the alarm.

- Okay. I'll leave you alone with him.
- No. I'll go.

I'll go.

Micky! Help get
the son of a bitch down!

And now with this lovely tent,

the entire military can pass over
and no one will see.

This little tent is lovely,
absolutely perfect.

You should be thankful
for your good fortune.

After that stupid attempt
you should be dead.

The orders were to shoot on sight.

That idiotic move
gave you quite an appetite.

Although, that's not difficult,
with Persian caviar and Tuscan beans.

Yes, Persian caviar.

But a good piece
of Sardinian cheese that tastes like milk

and wine
that tastes like grapes

are much better than your caviar.

You don't exactly treat
your prisoners like this?

How would you know
how I treat my prisoners?

Were you ever a guest?

Me?

My dear, petty thief,
do you think I'm such a shithead?

- Yes, I think you're a shithead.
- Excuse me?

Could it possibly be
that I gave you the service?

What?

Oh, yes.
The little blonde Milanese.

We took her four years ago.

Yes, you're that little blonde whore.
It has to be you.

It's you, right?
Yes, it must be you.

Four years ago?

Four years ago.
Oh! Young Morlocchi!

Yes, little Morlocchi!

You gave her the service, huh?
Lovely.

Yes, that's quite lovely.

Don't look so satisfied, gangster.

You were just one of a million.

Don't think you took advantage
of a little virgin.

Poor baby.
At least she was amused.

Morlocchi, yes.

You're one up on the devil.

Yes, I know all about it.

Everything except for
the pornographic particular.

"Particular"?

Listen, you gigantic pig.

I'll show you my "particular"
in blind flight!

Right now, my friend,

the particular is getting hungry.

What ridiculous bullshit!

Calm down, boy.

You can tell your "particular"
that he's inflated merchandise.

Inflated merchandise
can be found anywhere.

What's the meaning of this scene?
An abstinence crisis?

Sure, you're such a macho man.

So macho that, if you don't
"polish" your ring every day,

it tightens around your head.

Underneath,
you're all a bunch of sugar plums.

Sugar plums?

Yes. Sugar plums.
Fags.

- Fags?
- Yes.

You understand perfectly.

Listen, female...

watch what you say to me.

You can't say that to someone
whose mother gave him life on a hearthstone.

Not that social argument.
That's old.

This piece of dick,

who didn't have even
a bed to sleep in,

when I was 11,

I put a bullet through
the head of a bitch like you,

only to have respect!

Such lovely bullshit.

Not more shit about honor!

That bullshit is about bad education
and no desire to work.

If instead of playing with guns,
why can't you learn to...

I don't know...
make mozzarella?

Mozzarella!

In 10, 15 years,

you could compete with the best:
Bel Paese, Parmigiano...

And you could be here, too,

on your yacht off the Sardinian coast.

But no!
You don't believe in work.

People like you
only believe in other people's money!

You squeeze money
from people who believe in work.

The shotgun, you fascist,
is cleaner.

That way, you could only
take money from the rich!

Yes, sure. Wonderful.

The rich are bastards,
criminals, exploiters and murderers!

Stop with that stupid, common crap!

The rich are the only hope
in this country.

They always have been!

If there were no rich,
Italy would not be what it is!

No Venice, Florence, Rome,

the royal palace in Caserta
and all of other things of beauty.

God bless old, provincial nobility!

They worked hard
to maintain their image!

- They worked hard!
- What the fuck is she saying...

For years, people listened to that shit.
My crusade is to reestablish the truth.

Right-wing bitch!

Left-wing prick!
I'm making a revolution.

This will be a true class war.

Not just "The Rich of the World Unite."

But more or less.

What are you saying?

You deserve a hard-core
Soviet system,

where you'd get sent to Siberia
for stealing an apple.

And you know who would send you?

Those who are the same rich today!

So you say.
And why?

Because...

Because rich people are intelligent,

organized entrepreneurs,

my dear, little Sicilian,
and they would be in command!

- Shithead!
- Look who's talking.

If Stalin had opened
an appliance factory

and Lenin, a hotel chain,

you can bet they'd be millionaires.

They didn't trust in themselves
or work.

So they settled for a revolution.

What fucking crap!

It's true!
Resign yourself.

We're rich because we're better.
And that's that.

You think I was born
with a bank account?

I delivered packages
when I was 11.

And, if now, I am what I am...

- And who are you?
- I am the one

who sticks it up your ass!

Get it?
Up your ass!

Ah, congratulations!

Hey, Miss High Class,

how is it possible
that a high-class lady like you

talks about pricks and asses?

Perhaps you're interested...

or am I wrong?

Signora,

tell me,

what is behind this capriciousness?

How is it possible that
you now prefer cheese and wine

to champagne and caviar?

Why are you so surprised?

Sometimes gangsters are right.

Please, join me.

The cheese tastes like milk.

Clean nature.

- Taste.
- Thank you.

I prefer caviar and champagne.

Signora, if I may...

A lady like you,

shouldn't get too close

to one like Giuseppe Catania.

- And why not, please?
- Why not?

As you saw, he loses respect.

No, on the contrary.

It's a unique opportunity to know...

such an interesting animal.

There's always something to learn,

my dear, CIA super spy,

with so many failed blitzes.

You could learn something too!

Why are you so upset?

The lady is a lady.

She breaks my balls
and scrambles them.

The criminal is interesting, and me...

After so many years together,
may I say something?

- No. It would be crap.
- I'll say it anyhow.

You think, watch
and get too upset about the Signora.

I even heard you singing "Feelings."

- You want the Signora to...
- Shut up.

- I forbid you to say it.
- No.

I won't say a thing.

- But if you're falling in love...
- Another word and you're fired.

It's a love that's worse
than a cat in spring.

I'm not coming to Geneva.

No, solve it yourself.

I'm tired.

I need a few days of rest.

I left orders with Mrs. Bonetti.

She's perfectly capable.

Jealousy is an ugly thing.

Hey, boss.

Oh, you're here.

Do you know our prisoner's complaining
about the treatment?

- Really?
- Yes.

He says that even the state prisons

recognize sex as a basic need.

They allow women every 20 days.

Wives, little chickens...

He needs to lift
that famous ring.

Wonderful. We'll get him a chicken.

Or maybe a beautiful goat or sheep.

After all, he's from a race of shepherds.

Go get yourself a sheep,
you Sicilian shit!

Calm down.

He was joking.

But just so you won't say
that I'm worse than the state,

you'll have your filly.

Maybe a belly dancer,
some means of comfort.

We take care of our prisoners personally.

Yes?

You should know by now
that we have a different style here.

Signora,
why don't you come to me?

Me? To you?

I am the master race, my boy,

and I don't socialize with menials.

We'll take care of you later.

Shithead.

Signora, remember.
Every promise is a debt.

Signora!

Listen...

I hope you were joking
about this means of comfort.

- Rule number one: no whores.
- And why not?

Tomorrow night
we'll find him two girls.

Signora, absolutely not.

Please, you are giving him
too many bad habits!

This isn't done!

Caviar and champagne
aren't enough?

Where will it stop?
Now, women too?

Besides, who would come here
to do it?

Chorus girls?
Ballet dancers?

We'll fail because
of some ballerina's big mouth.

Women are only trouble...

Who gives a damn?

Let's do it this way:

You plan a beautiful weekend
for yourself and your assistant.

I'll take full responsibility here, okay?

What is your name?

Speak German?

Could you possibly speak Sicilian?

- Swedish?
- Yes.

I don't have a prayer.

That son of a bitch up there.

What brought this grace of God
to him?

In my next life
I'll be a criminal, I swear.

A summer night
with a Greek profile

Eyes like almonds
and the perfume of basil

An Arabic moon,
a pirate's fable

An ache in the head

Sweet poison like this

Once it covers you

Can never be washed away

And you

However much you try to escape

You'll never escape

You'll never escape

Turi.

Come out.

What are you doing there?

Excuse me,
but I thought I told you to leave.

Go.

Why the watchdog eyes?

Go. That's an order.

Really, you're very clingy,
you know?

Once it covers you

It can never be washed away

In the blue light

Never washed away

Never washed away

I hate classical music!

Change the channel!

It makes my balls twist!

Enough!

What is this perfume?

That's the music I like.

Who is this?

Beautiful laughter,

the perfume of a pretty girl.

Tonight is full
of wonderful surprises.

What beautiful, little chickens.

Tonight that ring
gets lifted off of my head.

A beautiful surprise.

Beautiful surprise.

How many are there?

Two, three, four?

I'm in paradise.

She's crazy.

Crazy or worse.

Boss, if the signora finds us spying,

she'll be a viper.

She said, "no witnesses"!

Let's go!

Risks.

She risks everything!

Oh, she's crazy.

Crazy or worse.

You like to watch
and twist your guts over her?

What's happened to you?
You were a serious man!

She's crazy... or worse.

Would worse mean "whore"?

Hey, if I don't say it,
don't you dare say it.

She's not crazy,
not a whore.

She's rich.

She's an ecologist

who wants to clean
the world of shit.

But then she plays in shit.

And we,

the defenders of the capitalists,
are ignored.

She's interested in this
"beyond poor" bum.

But, what "poor"?

He's richer than she is.

Sure, rich people's games.
Never mind the environment!

You're right.

How can I be so obsessed?

She's so nasty.

And now, I'm the asshole!

Love.

Or perhaps an understanding.

What's happening?

What are they doing?
It's gone dark.

Drink, boss, it's your favorite.

I understand she's rich

and full of strange habits.

If she's not down here
in five minutes,

I'll cause a disaster!

So there are three?

No, come here.
Where are you going?

The chain is caught.
Don't go.

Come, you.

Yes, I want you.

In all of this delicious food,

is the one I want here or not?

You're the one
who pulls away,

and it's you I want.

Be still...

Now what?

Good-bye!

I know it's you.

Even if it's not you,

for me, it's you.

I'll show you what it's like
to be a woman.

So soft,

abandoned, sweet as honey.

Even so, it's you.

Yes...

it's you.

I know.

I've waited a long time.

It's you.

Or are you a paid whore
who doesn't understand me?

You're the one
who kidnapped my dick.

It's you.

Blonde bitch.

Listen how she purrs.

You don't speak now?

Is it you,

the right-wing, madam whore

or the signora's means of comfort,

screwing for the signora's money?

Let me get to know you,
ugly whore.

You twist me inside.

I'll show you what it's like
to be female.

What kind of pig are you?

Speak.

Is it you?

Speak! Tell me.

No. Be quiet.

Quiet, quiet.

Quiet.

To me, you are the "her."

You... are her.

Drink, boss.

As they say in Minneapolis,

"Women make asses of us all."

I'll kill myself.

Of all the women on the earth,

I'm finished with this shark
of a millionaire.

But in spite of everything,

when she looked at me

when she called me a shit,

I believed she had some feelings.

I can't think about it.

I can't even think about it!

So don't think, boss.

Mother Nature thinks and provides.

Look, geishas, belly dancers.

Come on, boss.
It's a gift from God.

Come on, boss.

When the chief has a "chiefette,"
you can expect anything.

Look at them.

- Look... all first class.
- Stop it.

They're waiting for us.

Come on, boss.
They're waiting.

How beautiful you are.

Big, beautiful,

quality fuck.

Or should I say "love"?

Little nose.

Peach face.

Silk hair.

Now I understand
why they say the blind are good lovers.

Such an exciting mystery game.

You like it too.

Yes, you like it.

How hot you are,

like you have a fever.

You're shaking beneath my hand.

Come here.

We'll begin again.

Yes, Signora, yes.

Because this beast
wants you again.

Because you like him.

Unexpected, wicked,
uneducated love

A nicotine-black beard

Red jungle of your nails

Sweet poison like this

Once it covers you

It can never be washed away

And you

However much you try to escape

You'll never escape

You'll never, never escape

What happened?

Escaped?

Escape, escape,
you can't run far enough

to escape me.

Sweet poison like this,

when it covers you,

it can never be washed away.

Escape. Good night,
ugly whore.

My love.

- Turi, is that you there?
- Signora.

Yes?

- I thought it fortunate.
- What's this?

What horror!
It makes me sick! What is it?

Signora, kidnapping
has its rules.

And the rules Include
disgusting things?

It's my duty.

At this stage, I need a finger.

But why?

Tribal stupidity makes me vomit.

It's clean.

It was cut off yesterday
in a motorcycle accident.

You know where
to put that.

Signora...

I'd have said, "Up your ass"
if I wanted to.

Put it in the freezer.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Because you look
very different this morning.

Beautiful... luminescent.

You upset me.

I upset you?

You're an incredible ball breaker.

Put that thing away.
We have time.

Sure. The lady's having
a good time.

- Excuse me?
- You're having a good time.

Sure. I'm having a good time.
Why not?

It's my right.
I'm the boss.

The biggest...

Stop looking at me...

like that!

Put that thing in the freezer...

The one in my boudoir,
not in the kitchen.

My servants will have
a heart attack.

They're poor, exploited
homesick and black.

They don't need you
and your finger!

A Turkish moon is passing

No, this moon is Hawaiian

But, no

This is the moon

Of Shanghai

Dance with me, love

Sway with me, like this

The moon of Shanghai

Adventure, palms and pearls

And who knows

A pirate with a gold earring

What beautiful rhythm

Full of coincidences

Life, like my room

Is not so romantic

A scarf over the lamp

Can help you

There's a poster on the wall

With palms and the sea

Green and blue

Dance, my love, dance

Move your hips

For this is the moon of Shanghai

Turi, you look as if
you've had a stroke!

Victory! They're ready to deal.

- Really?
- Yes.

They're ready to talk.
Do we deal?

So, gangster.

Am I disturbing you?

So you're back.

Your people contacted us.
They want to deal.

Oh, yes?
And you?

I told them
we're in no hurry.

I think middlemen
cause confusion.

Let's you and I deal, okay?

Take off the blindfold.

Are you crazy, bandit?

Only I'll know who you are.

All right, then,
if you know me so well,

what do you propose?

I don't know who you are,

but I like you.

I don't know what you want
from me...

but then, maybe I do.

Come here and set me free.

And what did you drink today?

You look drunk.

So I look drunk?

So why are you deaf
when I speak of that?

What a shame.
That's your good ear.

So, you tell me...

Excuse me, what?

No, you tell me.

One hundred million.
Do we have a deal or not?

That's my fucking business.

Oh, lovely!

But before we start
cutting you in pieces,

how much can you pay
in cash?

You like money that much?

No, but it's value is solid and precise.

You know that very well, bandit.

Yes, Signora.
Yes, I understand.

You want satisfaction.
And I want to give it to you.

Fifty percent now, okay?

And the rest?

And the rest in six months.

But only on one condition:

You trust me and set me free now.

It wouldn't enter my mind.

You're delirious.

Well...

is it because
you don't trust me,

or because you want
to keep me here?

Tell the truth.

You liked it.

What do you mean?

You're drunk and delirious.

I'll stay here.

Listen to him.
Okay, let's get this over with.

Fifty percent now
and the rest in six months.

No more discussion.

Fine, fine.

So, where I'm from,

agreements are made
with a handshake.

Are you scared?
Come here.

I am a man of honor!

Let go, traitor!

Yes, yes, it's you.

I recognize your body.
I'm sure of it.

You're hot and shaking against me
like last night.

I'll make you pay for this!

Quiet, idiot.

Don't pretend you're
an angry wildcat.

I know better.

Now everything's changed between us.

I like you.

Why don't you send
everybody away

and come away with me?

Come with me.
We're special.

What do you want? Money?

I can cover you with it!

- All the gold you want!
- You're crazy!

You're completely crazy!

They'll shoot tear gas right now!

I'll scream for the police
right now!

What the fuck am I saying?
I'm delirious! They'll arrest me!

I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck.

I want you.

Leave now,
but come back to me tonight.

Understand?

And remember,

I don't like to wait.

- You're crazy.
- Yes.

Really crazy.

Don't touch me.
You're completely crazy.

- Come.
- Absolutely crazy!

Crazy!

Really crazy!

Wonderful...

Boss! Boss!

The Signora's bitchy and nervous.

Why not? She looks for it
and wonders why...

I want to understand
this five-star general,

this high-finance shark.

Because if we have a general,
I'll be a good soldier.

But if she's a bitch in heat,

and she thinks I'll stay here
to clean her dirty sheets,

then she doesn't know
who Salvatore Cantalamessa is!

Never mind the money,
She can go fuck herself!

Yes, Signora!
I'm coming!

I'm coming!

Here I am!

It's you.

- Yes, it's you.
- Yes, Signor, it's me.

Were you expecting someone else?

It wasn't you.

What a beautiful surprise, no?

And that's not all.

It went well for you, thief.

The signora has accepted
the proposal.

Fifty percent in Switzerland
and the rest in six months.

But that's not enough.

I don't know why,

but someone here trusts you.

I don't.
I'm against it.

But on your word...

she's decided
to set you free immediately.

Oh, really?

So you think I'm some clerk
who buys a TV on credit?

No. I don't need discounts.
No fifty percent!

Tell the signora

she'll have it all in four days.

Tell her

that she doesn't know
who Beppe Catania is!

So, my partners, please.

Come here.

Let's start.

My dear friends, I did it.

Our one hundred million
has been recuperated

and deposited
into the Bank of Geneva.

The honor of the ruling class
is saved.

A toast!

Cheers!

Well done.
And it took a woman to do it.

What woman?
She's a brigadier general!

General or not,

you handled this business
better than men.

It was fabulous.
We never knew anything.

You took all of the responsibility.

First class work.

We've decided to give you 20o/o.

What do you mean?

We understand it was a matter
of principle,

but you must accept the 20o/o.

Oh, no. 50o/o, my dears.

Fifty percent.

- What?
- Fifty?

Fifty percent?

Why should you all wonder?

I did it all: the risk,

the organization, the idea.

Excuse me,
but you agreed to accept 50o/o.

I got 100o/o,
so 50o/o is rightfully mine.

Yes. Absolutely. Well done.

She's right.
She earned it.

It was her initiative.

Anyway, you've recuperated 50o/o.

It's still a good deal.

Excuse me, excuse me.

As far as I'm concerned.
she's right.

Hello?

Wonderful.

No, Frederick.
I don't know...

I'm in a meeting.
Maybe later...

Fine, I'll call you next week.

Yes, I'll call you.

Good-bye, my love.
Wonderful.

A wonderful success, Signora,

even from a personal point of view.

Excuse me?

He paid, Signora,

in order to teach you a lesson.

He wanted to slap my face
with his money.

As in "La Traviata."

Yes, but it would have been
better if you had not gone that night.

Are you kidding?

That's the beauty of it.

I was the most highly-paid woman
in history.

Yes, that's why you have
my compliments.

You inspire all of us
to pay you tribute,

to give you gifts,
as princes or oil sheiks!

Yes, it's a shame
that discretion forbids us

to publicize a tribute
of 100 million.

You are fantastic.
Really fantastic.

Everyone falls in love with you.

Signora, I have to say it...
me too.

I finally found
the courage to confess.

You're kind, sweet and gallant.

I'm sorry it's all over.

- The end is always a bit sad.
- The end?

Are you saying that
this is the end of the story?

What are you doing?

Turi, he's taking the car!

- Come on!
- Just a minute!

- Do something!
- This is a big mistake!

Let's get out of here, fast!

What is he doing?
Turi, do something!

Hey! Listen...
Stop that thing!

Look here!

You're holding me against my will!

This is abduction!
You're holding me against my will!

Take of the hood.

I want to finally see
the famous...

Signora.

Not bad.

What?

You're lucky.

What if I didn't like it?

Gangster, what do you want from me?

Two hundred million.

Excuse me?

To start.

And then...

the rest.

Dear God.

How romantic, Beppe.

Excuse me, but this horse
seems a little nervous.

Wait, do you really
know how to ride?

If not, it wasn't practical
to kidnap me with a horse.

A motorcycle would have been
more practical.

I knew it!

I knew it!

The same shit again!

Why should a Sicilian criminal
ride like an English lord?

I'm an idiot!

Everyone knows
what a Mediterranean is!

Latins are approximate
and inadequate.

You only pretend to be romantic!

It's the ruination of our country!

It's better to learn
about horses first!

I could teach you that too!
I take my work seriously!

You're lost in the memories
of ancient grandeur!

Do me a favor.
Learn to do things right!

I swear, I'll never trust
another person!

Especially a Sicilian gangster!