Original subtitles

SIREN WAILS

Alright, good to go.

All firearms teams, strike, strike, strike!

- EXPLOSION - OFFICER: Armed police!

OFFICERS SHOUT: Armed police!

- INDISTINCT SHOUTS - Get down!

OFFICER ON RADIO: Henry-Four, perimeter secure, over.

Five people accounted for, one injured.

Got you this time, Eddie.

Hostages are secure.

One victim unconscious upon entry, over.

Ah!

Let's see who's behind door number two, shall we?

It's not him. Search the bank! Every inch of it!

Hathaway to Marlowe, suspect not arrested!

I repeat, suspect not arrested.

Search and secure the surrounding area, over.

Wait! Stop!

Keep calm.

Look...

Take me, I won't fight.

Get in, you daft... And sit down!

Close the doors.

It's alright, close 'em.

Give us that.

You lot try anything, and he's a dead man.

I want a clean car, and back off!

You were a stupid idiot getting in here.

Well, it's been a while. I just wanted a chat.

Yeah, well, I'll let this do the talking.

HE LAUGHS

What?

HE SCOFFS Nothing.

- You laughing at me? - FRANK LAUGHS

I am!

I'm gonna lock you up and throw away the key!

FRANK LAUGHS

EDDIE LAUGHS

This ain't funny!

I've got a gun!

THEY LAUGH

And if they don't let us go...

I'm gonna kill you!

FRANK WHEEZES WITH LAUGHTER

Oh, you won't!

Cos I've just given us a massive dose of nitrous oxide!

What?

Laughing gas!

THEY LAUGH

- Woo! - THEY LAUGH

Know what's funny?

What?

- You're nicked! - THEY LAUGH

OFFICER: Open the doors.

FRANK AND EDDIE LAUGH

Take him away!

FRANK LAUGHS

HE WHISPERS: This is exciting.

Been waiting ages for a new case.

Looks like we're gonna be waiting a bit longer.

So, how can...

PHONE CHIMES

Now I'm worried her tea'll go cold

which would give an unnecessarily negative impression

of my beverage-making capabilities.

WOMAN: Mm.

Always a million things to do.

"Let every man be master of his time."

I was thinking exactly the same thing.

So, how can we help you, Mrs Bolingbroke?

I've been developing a lot of property on Cheapside.

I'm sure you know it.

Time was you couldn't walk the streets in safety, but now?

It's transformed.

Yeah, no, I took my mum to a new caf� there the other week.

"Hamlet and Eggs". It was very, very "now", you know, very me.

SHE GIGGLES

It's the embodiment of the new Stratford.

Or would be if not for a... certain element.

Well, I can always stop Lu and her mam going there

if they're draggin' the place down. HE LAUGHS

Mm.

I'm talking about Lucky's Haul

a seedy gambling den.

FRANK: What, the bingo place?

That's just some old biddies betting a few quid, isn't it?

I've heard disturbing reports. Preying on the old and vulnerable.

I need you to go in, dig deep, and find the problems.

End Lucky's reign of depravity.

Er, with all due respect, that's not a lot to go on...

PHONE BUZZES - Oh! I have to take this.

Should my next call be to another agency?

Chester Patterson, perhaps?

Could you hold, please?

When it comes to maintaining the moral fibre of the community

we are the agency for you.

Oh.

WOMAN: Good news.

We may have another development soon...

Well, that was easy.

- What you doing? - Just admiring my handiwork.

Oh, GQ called. The cover's available.

SEBASTIAN CHUCKLES - I wish I'd never let you do this.

Oh, stop it, you look lovely. You look very handsome.

IMITATING SEAN CONNERY: The name's Hathaway. Frank Hathaway.

Hm. Well, that would make you...

IMITATING SEAN CONNERY: Moneypenny.

THEY CHUCKLE

I dunno.

You make it sound like I was a right ragamuffin before you cut me hair

like some big, hairy yeti.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

WOMAN: Sebastian!

Ha! What are you doing here?

Viola! What a wonderful surprise!

- I never knew you played. - I don't.

Yet. But I just thought I should try something new.

And you? Do you come here often?

Well, if I was here any longer, I'd have to pay the rent.

- Come on, let me show you the ropes. - Lead on.

Welcome, welcome, one and all, to Lucky's Haul!

I'm Joseph "JJ" Jaques, king of the bingo lingo

and your caller today.

And when you're with JJ...

ALL: It's always pay day!

Just two minutes till the numbers roll

so you've got time to wet your whistle at the bar or spend that penny.

I'll see you in a couple of mins, boys and girls.

Viola! Who's this dapper gent?

This is my friend, Sebastian.

"Friend"? Oh, I wouldn't mind a friend who looked like that!

Bo! We're just mates.

SHE LAUGHS

Bo Quickly. Any friend of Viola's...

A pleasure.

So, are you a bingo fan, duck?

Go on, show us your dabber.

HE WHISPERS: I beg your pardon?

Your dabber!

Be gentle, Bo.

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

Got spares...

snacks, tissues, toiletries

and a bit of Dutch courage.

Nip of whiskey makes you frisky!

BO LAUGHS

"Good company, good whiskey, good welcome."

Right! We're playing the Early Bird 90 ball.

Four corners net you 15, lines get a Gertie

or go to town on �100 with a Full House.

If you're having fun, you've already won.

So...

- Let's bingo! - ALL: Let's bingo!

So, eyes down for your first number.

Take a look around, see if there's any cockroaches in the kitchen...

see if there's any kids betting their pocket money...

we go and collect the cheque. Couldn't be easier.

JJ: Dirty Gertie...

number 30!

It's like Benny Hill running the church raffle.

Hey. This is a classic British pastime, I'll have you know.

- All innuendo and sitting down. - THEY CHUCKLE

WOMAN: See you later. Use the purple dabber!

WOMAN CHUCKLES Welcome to Lucky's Haul.

The Early Bird's just started.

Oh, no thank you.

We are here with the local newspaper, actually

- and I'm Fran, this is Lou. - Lou.

And you're Meghan?

Oh, wow, you must be popular round here.

Oh! Don't...

Lucky insists it's displayed.

I'm the assistant manager. How can I help?

Well, we are... doing an article, aren't we?

On bingo halls and how they cope in the 21st century.

Great!

About time someone did.

We were wondering, could we have a look around?

- You know, get a feel for the place. - Of course.

- I can show you around now if you'd like? - Oh, yeah!

It's so nice to see local news taking an interest.

Say bingo!

BOTH: Bingo!

CAMERA CLICKS - BO LAUGHS

Full house on your first go!

Oh, you're one of us now, duck.

BO LAUGHS

MEGHAN: And this is Lucky's office.

Of course, he's not here.

Typical.

Wait here.

Well, while we're here, might as well have a gander.

Yeah, be rude not to.

Look for anything incriminating.

You know, unpaid parking tickets, betting slips...

dead bodies.

Book of accounts here, look.

Invoices, expenses...

- Shame we can't do him for his ego, isn't it? - CAMERA CLICKS

Look at the picture with his big head.

We should get one of those of you in our office.

- CAMERA CLICKS - What you doing?

- You can't photograph the whole book! - Oh, shush. Just watch the door.

I don't believe it!

- Wh... - Frank?

CAMERA CLICKS

VACUUM ROARS

VACUUM DIES

Glad to see they taught you something useful in prison.

Frank Hathaway.

I heard they thrown you off the force.

I retired.

Oh, good. Well, I won't get done for hitting a copper then!

- Alright... - Is this your idea of looking...

Hello. Hi.

- I'm Fran. - EDDIE: Hi.

LU: Hi. - Oh, boss!

Here you go, boss. Good as new.

You think I've got time to put away laundry?

You missed a spot.

Hello! Hi, excuse me? We're from the local paper and...

LUCKY: Sorry, love, make an appointment. - LU: Actually, it's, um...

I've gone straight. Just leave us be.

Oh, yeah?

Lou!

SHE WHISPERS: Frank!

We're working.

I've been coming here for donkey's.

Met my Tony here!

But I don't hold that against 'em.

Lucky must be quite the character?

BO: Oh, he's lovely.

Him and JJ are the perfect dream team.

Oh! Talk of the devil!

Lucky! Alright?

I am now seeing you, darlin'!

SHE CHUCKLES

Mwah!

Oh, he knows his bingo, that man.

Oh. Keep an eye on me dabber, will ya, darling?

I'm, er, just gonna spend a penny while there's time.

Make the most.

Are you working?

- Why do you ask? - Well, I've just seen Frank and Lu

and it's strange you're all here at the same time.

This place is important to me. I don't want any trouble here, OK?

You won't get any from me.

LU SIGHS

We missed him.

Maybe we could play a couple of games, just wait for him to come back?

Going straight? Don't make me laugh.

Is this the caretaker?

Caretaker?

Eddie Monmouth pulled a string of armed robberies.

He had me chasing my tail for months before I put him away.

Are we talking about the same guy? The one that was just fawning all over Lucky?

Don't be fooled. He's probably infiltrating the Haul so he can clean it out.

Yeah, to be fair, I did see a hoover.

What?

HE SIGHS Marlowe's really dropped the ball

on this one.

I'm gonna have a word with her.

Wha... Uh, Frank? What about the case?

Oh, it's fine! Yes, I'll sort it.

Ah! Joseph.

I'm not in the mood, Frank.

You look awful.

New baby keeping you awake at night, is she?

- Can you get off my car, please? - Oh, sorry.

Yeah, seems my little girl has about as much respect as you do for my time.

Talking about women who like to boss you around, where's Marlowe?

She's not answering.

You've not heard?

- She's gone. - Where?

On holiday? To find a sergeant with a brain between his ears?

- If that's your attitude... - I'm joking.

Look, I really need to talk to her.

She's been promoted.

Special taskforce. Top level, very hush-hush.

- When's she coming back? - No time soon.

Well, she wouldn't just leave without saying.

This is awkward.

Maybe you weren't that close after all.

Alright, look... an ex-con's got out early, Eddie Monmouth.

I'm not Marlowe. So you've got a phone, call the switchboard.

There's a dangerous man loose on the streets.

I'm not your lackey. You're a lazy bottom-feeder, Frank.

Getting paid off our hard work.

You're not one of us anymore.

No more easy rides.

Got baby-sick on your tie.

Whey!

- You're so childish. - No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Not.

Yes, you are.

I'm not.

Thirty-three, cup of tea?

Ah...

Twenty-two, thanking you.

Where has Frank got to?

Sixty-five, he's on the skive?

Seventy-nine, is...

There is...

Oh, forget it, you win.

IN HUSKY VOICE: Jammy one, you are mine.

He's supposed to be helping me make sense of these accounts we found at the Haul.

Anything useful so far?

Oh, just boring numbers.

Mm.

If he's having another lie-in, I will kill him.

PHONE BUZZES

POLICE RADIO CHATTER

- Viola. - Frank.

- Caught a bad one? - Yeah, it's pretty gruesome.

Murder?

There will be if Keeler catches me talking to you.

Come on, throw us a bone. I'd do the same for you.

I wouldn't usually, but this one's personal.

They found a body this morning. Blunt force trauma to the head.

Frank!

What did I say?

No more freebies.

PC Deacon was just saying exactly the same thing.

So, who's the vic?

Unless you're a cop, a coroner or a priest

it's none of your business.

There's no shame in asking. I mean, if you don't know who he is.

- I know who he is. - Oh, so it's a "he" then. Interesting.

Look, whoever the victim is, I know the suspect.

Eddie Monmouth.

The man I came to talk to you about.

Any proof he's done anything other than annoy you?

The proof's in that tent.

Stop sniffing around.

It's embarrassing.

Bye, Frank!

FRANK: Lucky's been murdered.

What? Oh.

Oh, Viola and Bo will be so upset.

I hate to say I told you so. Where's Lu?

Looking for you. So, do you think Eddie did it?

Lucky probably found him casing the joint, and he got killed for it.

I tell ya, he's not gonna get away with it.

Cos I'm onto him!

WOMAN: Just write my condolences...

- Here we go. - ...and send it, OK?

SHE SNAPS FINGERS

When I hired you to "end Lucky's reign"...

did you go too far?

Are you asking me if I killed him?

Cos that's not what I meant, and I won't be billed for it.

Hang on! You had more motive to kill him than I did.

Our associate said you were looking very cosy together yesterday.

Did you see us?

Our associate did.

Well, exactly.

Why would I want him dead

when he finally agreed to sell?

Uh, sell?

But you said he's been fending you off for years.

Well, I was as shocked as you are, but he asked to see me

wanting a quick sale.

He was supposed to bring the contract last night, but never showed up.

That's Lucky.

Infuriating me to the end.

I'd work on the eulogy.

SEBASTIAN LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

I'm sorry he's dead...

but there's nothing I can do about it now except mourn

and...

ensure his final wish is carried out.

Find that contract.

Then he should have made you assistant manager.

JJ: Just you wait!

Just you wait till Lucky's widow comes back from Benidorm!

She'll get things sorted.

You haven't asked the staff what they want, and we want Meghan.

JJ: You have been here for five minutes!

Not a lot of mourning going on.

Look, the press are back. Let's not give them tomorrow's headline.

Don't mind us. We're just...

They're not press, they're PIs!

If you're looking for a real snake in the grass, look no further.

Thanks, Eddie.

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't throw you both out.

Oh, I don't know, how about, er... because you're not in charge?

Don't you think we should focus on this first?

We were only lying in a... professional capacity.

Yeah, we're actually quite nice when you get to know us.

How can we trust yous two?

Yeah, for all we know, you might have offed Lucky!

Why does everyone keep thinking that?

Because you come round here, skulking around, scoping the place out

and the very next day...

Yeah, when you put it like that...

Yeah. SHE CHUCKLES

So, Lucky may have signed a contract selling the Haul to Henrietta Bolingbroke

before he died.

- We're trying to find it. - What, sell the Haul?

To her? Over Lucky's dead body!

Exactly.

JJ: Look, he was my best friend for over 30 years.

There's no way he'd sell the Haul to that hooty-toot.

Well, she says he did.

And she's not gonna stop until she gets what she wants.

Why don't you just let us have a little look round and if we don't find anything

then Henrietta won't have a leg to stand on, will she?

We've got nothing to hide.

If you want to poke around, that's fine.

You can't do that!

Can't I?

Seeing as you like Lucky's office so much, go help them search it.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

Sorry about Lucky.

It was... really unlucky.

Thanks.

How much longer?

Well, we go quicker if you helped.

Yeah, or told us where else we could look?

Well, have you tried the toilet? He did all his best thinking in there.

Still haven't checked in here.

I told you, I haven't got the combination.

- Well, who has? - Lucky!

Are we done?

I want to go to the airport, pick up his missus, get things sorted out.

FRANK: One last thing.

Who hired the caretaker?

Some businesses don't like parolees.

Well, maybe we believe in second chances.

What, so you knew he was an ex-con?

You two. I might have known.

Mr Jacques, I've come to take your statement.

- Can I have you outside, please? - But it's my office!

Oh...

HE MUTTERS ...ridiculous.

KEELER: Thank you.

Will you stop interfering with my witnesses?

We're here on official business, actually.

Our client has asked us to find a missing contract.

And that trumps murder, does it?

Why isn't Eddie in handcuffs yet?

Because I'm not just picking out people I don't like and saying "hedunnit".

You got anything back from forensics yet?

None of your business.

You haven't got a clue, have you?

I bet he hasn't even checked the CCTV.

What you talking about? Yes, we have, there's nothing there.

Oh-ho-ho!

Who said we wouldn't have that same close relationship that me and Marlowe had, eh?

You just stay out of my way.

HE GROWLS

SEABIRDS CRY

I said search the kitchens, not investigate the cake.

I'm just being thorough.

Frank.

Eddie.

Lu.

- I want a word. - Yeah, a few spring to mind.

Whoa... it's a long way down, isn't it? I can see the crime scene from here.

Will you stop chasing us?

I'm out of the life.

Unlucky that, then, eh?

First job you get, there's a murder.

I wouldn't put that on your CV.

LU: Oh! There's Keeler. Hello!

Hi!

Not very nice.

You won't find anything here, and I've done me time.

What, eight out of 20 years?

What about all those people you terrorised?

That family that got caught up in the Gad's Hill raid?

I'd take it back if I could.

I sat in that hospital with those kids all night

waiting for their dad to pull through, and it's all because of you.

I paid for it!

I lost me family!

When I was inside, me missus went off with another fella, moved away.

Now me daughter calls another bloke "Dad".

Twenty years? I'd have done 100 years just for five minutes with me little girl.

You chose the life. You've got no-one else to blame.

Yeah, you're right. I've got no-one.

It's time we stop looking for bits of paper and started searching for a killer.

Yeah, look, I hate to sound like you here, but that's not what we're being paid for.

Like you say, sometimes you have to do the right thing.

Alright, fine. You do what you want.

But when you need me, I'll be doing our job.

Listen, hot gossip!

Ooh, what is that?

Yeah, don't ask.

I have searched that hall from top to bottom, every filthy nook and cranny.

Nothing.

I even had to go in the men's.

- Oh, even I don't go in there. - LU SIGHS

Listen, this'll cheer you up. I've been digging up dirt on Eddie...

Hang on, I hope you mean the contract?

Because I have nearly ruined my second-best jacket trying to find that thing.

Frank said that Eddie was the priority now.

- Can you make your minds up, please? - I thought we had!

Fine. Go on.

Ahem.

Bo says JJ is a big gambler.

Racked up huge debts.

Even served a year in prison for assaulting some bailiffs

- who were repossessing his house. - Oh.

We should check if Eddie and JJ's stint in prison overlapped.

And you've ruined the surprise. Unbelievable.

What, they did? They were in the same place?

At the same time.

- With 2,000 other inmates, but still. - PHONE CHIMES

Ahem.

Shakespeare and Hathaway, private investig...

Is Lu there? Put her on the phone.

Mr Rude on line one.

It's on.

Eddie's going for the safe tonight.

He went to a hardware store. My money's on safecracking tools.

He could've been buying anything!

What, like... "fork handles"?

The only way he'd spend that much money on gear is for a job.

Have you got anything more concrete?

He bought a pizza?

Mm. Going hungry on a heist is a big no-no.

Don't you have work to do?

Look, Lu, I know it's thin, but I'm telling ya.

He's gonna crack that safe tonight.

If you get here now, we can catch him in the act.

DRILL WHIRS

FRANK CHUCKLES

I hope they kept your cell tidy. You are in so much trouble.

- Frank... - I can't wait to see the look

on Keeler's face.

No need.

- Alright, Frank? - What are you doing here?

I'm...

preventing a robbery.

Lucky died without leaving the combination.

I told the boys they can access it as long as I'm supervising

in case there's evidence inside.

Do you know how much the manufacturer charges for a call-out?

You do know these two shared prison time?

Yep. I'm a step ahead of you, mate.

Alright, he looked after me when I was inside.

Fair enough.

Now, I'm finding him a job.

Does Meghan know all this?

I'm in charge now. The widow has complete trust in me.

And because I care about the staff, I'm letting Meghan stay on.

- For now. - Let's get on with it, yeah?

Have a look, Frank. You might learn summat.

Oh...

Looks like I was wrong.

There's nothing left to steal.

JJ: What?

Are you kidding me, Lucky?

Not even a penny!

"You mad, purple-hued maltworm!"

You...

You're cursed!

Nothing but bad luck since you arrived.

Get out! Go on, get out!

Better luck next time, eh, kids?

Well, that's great, isn't it?

It's gonna be hard to find this contract when we've been chucked out!

Yeah, at least we know why Lucky sold. Safe was empty.

- Must've been money troubles. - We lost, Frank.

Y'know, no Eddie, no contract. Even Keeler thinks we're idiots.

- Keeler! - Yeah, was a bit of a dead end, wasn't it?

Listen, I'm sorry, I won't let it happen again.

Right, well... good.

Next time, he's going down!

- I'm gonna... - You're not listening to me, are you?

This ego-trip down memory lane is costing us work.

You're supposed to be the pragmatic one here, so just...

Will you get a grip?

Oh, look, Lu...

Come back.

You're me lift.

"And as the morning steals upon the night, melting the darkness..."

Oh, stop moaning.

PHONE BUZZES

Ugh.

Hello?

Hi.

Still angry with me then?

A bit.

I mean, Henrietta is. She was practically frothing at the mouth this morning.

Hah. Sorry I missed that.

FRANK SIGHS Look...

you know I think you're the best female PI in our office, don't ya?

Eh?

Shut up.

Right, I had an idea last night.

Do you remember how the Haul's accounts were, like, a big mess?

I think I've worked out why. He was being ripped off.

How'd you mean?

Well, there are invoices charging for things the Haul doesn't have

from companies that just don't exist.

Someone's been embezzling.

Was there a signature on the payment?

Meghan Poins.

We need to find her.

Yeah, don't worry. I'm on it.

FRANK YELLS - SEBASTIAN SCREAMS

Hello.

I know how you paid for that breakfast.

Sorry?

What's this?

That is all the fake invoices you made out to pocket the profits.

You see, I've searched that hall from top to bottom

and I'm pretty sure I didn't see the dozen nymph statues you forked out for.

And that "staff room refurbishment"?

That's just a deck-chair on the roof, really, isn't it?

- I can explain this... - Yeah, good.

You can do that to the police.

- They're gonna think I did it. - Well, you did, didn't you?

They can be here in ten minutes

and I'm pretty sure they're gonna want to connect this stolen money

- to Lucky's death. - Hang on!

I didn't kill him!

Yes...

I stole the money.

But I didn't want to.

- What, somebody forced you too? - Yeah.

Well, sort of.

I'm ringing.

He tricked me, OK?

When Lucky put me on the accounts, JJ got me to pay some invoices.

I didn't realise they were dodgy.

You must've realised?

By then, it was too late.

He said it was my signature. I'd be the one arrested.

I'm a fool.

I worked every hour God sent to get where I am.

Trying to be this kick-ass professional woman

and in the end, I'm just a pawn in a man's game.

MEGHAN SNIFFLES

Oh, here come the waterworks.

What you must think of me...

Let me see if I can work out a way to prove that JJ coerced you

before I report it.

It won't get you off the hook, but...

we might be able to hang him on a bigger one, eh?

Eddie Monmouth, stay where you are!

We're arresting you for Lucky's murder.

What? What are you talking about?

We've found traces of his DNA all over Lucky's clothing.

Well, shouldn't you be arresting me for doing his dry-cleaning then?

What about the CCTV camera covering the back, huh?

The one showing you threatening the shopkeeper, eh?

To make him wipe the footage?

It was part of his MO back in the day.

MEGHAN: No!

- It can't be... - Uh, it's alright.

Yeah, yeah, I did it.

You're confessing?

Yeah, well, you saw the way he was with me.

Treated me like dirt, like I wasn't a man, and...

something just happened that night. I just snapped.

I followed him outside and...

I didn't mean to kill him, it just kind of got out of hand.

- What did you kill him with? - What?

Frank, I'll ask the questions here.

What did you kill him with?

I dunno, it was, uh...

Like a trophy that Lucky was carrying.

I threw it in the river just outside town. Can't remember where.

That tallies with the flecks of gold paint we found on the back of his head.

Cheer up, Frank, you've won.

Right then, Eddie Monmouth, I'm arresting you for the murder of "Lucky" Gareth Green.

You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention

when questioned, something you may later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be given in evidence...

Oh!

I thought you'd be celebrating.

Nah, I don't need any fuss.

I'll cancel that Mariachi band I booked then.

I've never seen Eddie give up without a fight.

Mm!

Got you your own.

Thank you.

So that, um, CCTV clue yesterday...

that was, yeah... that was good.

Yeah, working on those fraudulent invoices wasn't bad either.

LU: Aw!

Thanks.

We've got new problems today.

Meghan says that JJ made her embezzle the cash and I believe her.

Just be ready to start the renovations tomorrow.

You must really burn through the minutes on that thing.

Good news. Someone found the contract.

And they're willing to hand it over for 100,000.

If that's the going rate for a piece of paper, we need to up our prices.

Well, considering you haven't found it...

and poor old Lucky's met his maker, I'd say you're being paid handsomely.

How do you know it's real?

They sent me photos of Lucky's signature.

Oh. Deliver the money to the address I'm pinging you now...

PHONE CHIMES ...where you will find instructions

to collect my contract.

Simple.

Even for you.

Aren't you forgetting something? That's an awful lot of cash to get together.

Chop, chop.

I'm a busy woman.

"Chop, chop."

Chip, chip.

- What? - What?

I can see the gears turning.

Let's just take a minute, shall we, to explore why you're so obsessed with Eddie?

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC STOPS

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC STOPS

You see the problem is, your work is your life.

- No, it's not. - Yes, it is.

- You dedicate all your time to it. - I don't.

- I got loads of hobbies. - Name one.

- What, just one? - Yeah.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC STOPS

- Reading. - But... reading PI Monthly doesn't count.

Going to the pub.

No, That's not a hobby, it's a clich�.

I'll have you know, real ale tasting is practically a sport.

Look, don't get me wrong.

I'm not saying that your one-track mind hasn't helped loads of people.

Some people would even call me a hobbyist.

Who?

See, the thing is... the thing is, that you have said

Eddie was one of the biggest criminals you ever caught.

So maybe, deep down, you feel like...

bear with me... that you think that...

him being released early

signifies all of your sacrifices being for nothing.

Just drive.

It's just something to think about.

Thanks for that, babs.

My corns are killing me.

Mm, just when I thought you'd revealed all your mysteries.

Oh.. I'll put the kettle on.

Lovely.

CLOCK TICKS

Ahem.

I was just admiring your collection.

Oh, my trophies?

We took the Haul's team championships for the last 12 years.

All except in 2013, when my Tony passed. God rest him.

Oh, that must've been hard.

Oh, it was.

We were a team-mate short.

- But we still took second place though. - KETTLE WHISTLES

Oh.

Milk and sugar?

Why not?

CAMERA CLICKS

All this for a piece of paper... Ooh.

Paid for in Lucky's blood.

Yeah. He must've been carrying it when he died.

You see, if the killer's selling the contract then it can't be Eddie, can it?

Cos he's in custody.

Maybe he's got an accomplice.

Wha... Who else would want Henrietta to have the Haul?

Not JJ, that's for sure.

- Look, call Henrietta. - PHONE CHIMES

At least we'll get her off our backs.

Oh, I've got a text. Picture from Sebastian.

So, you were undercover all the time?

I'm sorry, it's part of the job.

But don't you even care about bingo?

I am a recent convert, thanks to you.

We, uh...

need to talk to you about this, Mrs Quickly.

She never deserved it. If anyone's the heart of the Haul, it's me!

We're a bit more concerned with why you've got a murder weapon on your shelf.

What... that...

That thing killed Lucky?

Oh...

Well, I suppose it explains the stain, but...

SHE GASPS But I-I'd never hurt him!

How did you come by it?

Oh, it's...

It's all changing out there.

My local's closed. The chippy, the corner shop... all gone.

Even my Tony.

The Haul is the only thing I've got left.

And even that's changing, because of Meghan.

Did you steal the trophy to get back at Meghan?

I've never stolen a thing in my life!

I was walking home and...

I saw her dumping it in a skip

so I took it.

This wouldn't happen to be the night that Lucky was murdered, was it?

Yes.

I thought you said to lie low until the cops were gone!

- Things change. - What?

- Who's coming for us? - Who d'you think?

That PI and her grumpy sidekick!

The invoices were your idea.

I don't have time for your whining!

You take off now, they'll pin it on me. What do I do?

Not so keen on firing me now you need me again?

Useless!

You needed money, I made it happen.

When Lucky found out about our little scheme, I took care of it.

You...

- You what? - You'd be back in prison

if I hadn't shut your mate up for good.

How about a thank you?

HE SCOFFS

I didn't ask for that.

- SHE STAMPS - Thank you.

Was that so hard?

And we should be thanking you guys too. For helping us crack the case.

- I do hope I'm not the grumpy sidekick. - Yeah.

You see, we've got the trophy, and we've got an eye-witness

who saw you dumping it

but let's just hear it from the horse's mouth, shall we?

MEGHAN ON PHONE: When Lucky found out about our little scheme

- I took care of it. - How?

This little fella.

A sound-activated audio bug.

We knew something was going on, we just didn't know what.

Oh!

HE SIGHS Why do they always run?

LU: Stop her!

MEGHAN: Let go of me!

- You mind telling me what's going on? - She killed Lucky.

I knew it!

- I never liked you! - Oh, please.

You hypocrites!

This place would've been dead years ago without me, and all I get is grief.

"Oh, poor Saint Lucky!"

As long as the customers were enjoying themselves

it didn't matter he kept his staff at the begging bowl!

He gave you a trophy.

I can't get a mortgage with a trophy!

Oi! Where do you think you're going with my trophy?

- Did you know about the sale? - He shoved it in my face.

Told me my betrayal just made him richer.

All that lovely money. Thank you so much!

Why don't you go away, you stupid little girl?

FRANK (VO): Eddie saw it all, maybe from the roof.

And for some reason, he tidied up after you.

- Why would Eddie help you? - Ask him.

So you didn't kill Lucky over the contract?

I didn't give it any thought till you showed up searching.

Then I thought I might finally get something out of Lucky after all.

I hope they burn the place down.

ANNOUNCER: Number 11...

Meghan Poins, I'm arresting you for the murder of "Lucky" Gareth Green.

- You do not have to say anything but it may... - Bingo!

I knew you'd deliver... Eventually.

It's just...

It's just a copy, the police kept the original for the murder investigation

but the good news is, no pesky bloodstains.

You've done your town a great service.

There's just one more thing.

- Hm? - You can't sell the Haul yet.

Or change it in any way.

Sure.

You might want to look up "Assets of Community Value"

because the Haul's just become one.

What?

The building's protected from any development.

Reflecting its vital social contribution to the community.

It's bingo!

Don't worry, you can sell it in six months.

Which gives the community time to raise the money to buy it.

At fair market value.

Well, this is outrageous!

I've just pinged you our invoice.

PHONE CHIMES - Boom.

If you think that a rag-bag bunch of bingo wings

are going to be able to raise that much cash...

I don't know, the leader of the fundraiser is pretty fierce.

Would you like to meet her?

Sebastian?

Right, me duck!

Shall we talk numbers?

FRANK SIGHS

Come on.

You can do it.

Alright?

Could be worse.

I miss the old days.

Was black and white then, wasn't it?

You were a crook, I caught you.

Eventually.

Then you go and take the fall for Meghan.

You two weren't...?

Howay, man! She's the same age as me daughter.

Right.

Y'know...

when I was in the joint, I used to think about me girl and what she was doing, and...

how I'd be proud of her, and then I see Meghan, and...

Dunno, I just felt like I'd found her.

"Were't not for laughing, I should pity him."

It's like when you're hungry, isn't it?

You know you need a decent meal, but all you can find is a dodgy kebab

so you fill the hole, even though you know it's not good for you.

I just felt like I should protect her.

What an idiot.

Well, the CPS agree with you.

They're dropping the charges.

Well, I don't deserve that.

That's what I said.

Here.

Prove us both wrong.

What's this, like?

It's your daughter's email. We found her.

What, I can talk to her?

Well, she's given you permission to write at first, you know, keep it slow.

Try and get back the things you lost.

Come on, guys.

You can do better than that. Shall we have a little group hug?

FRANK CHUCKLES

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