All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.S12E03.WEBRip.480p-WOWRip.en

RuPaul: Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

Welcome to the second premiere
of RuPaul's Drag Race 2020.

You may have noticed that you're
not the first queens to arrive.

Now, this week, you six
get your very own premiere.

RuPaul: Jaida Essence Hall.

You have that way of moving
that feels very, very natural.

It made me smile.

You're a winner, baby.

Oh, my gosh!

[cheers and applause]

I think the time has come
for you to meet...

your competition.

We just survived,
and we see the other girls.

These other girls are looking
pretty standoffish.

I'm not really sure
how this is gonna go down.

Oh, look at this.

[all talking at once]

Jan and I are in
the same drag family.

Five New York girls!

Five New York girls!

The other queens
should be shook,

because New York City
is here to represent.

We are the best queens
in the world.

But I'm the one to beat.
[laughs]

Did y'all miss y'all's flight?

Because y'all got here
awfully late.

Oh, we got here just on time.

[all laugh]

So how are you ladies doing?

Blessed and highly flavored.

Fat and fabulous.

She's being shy.

This bitch
won the first episode.

[cheering]

So who was the top two?

-Myself...
-Miss Sherry Pie.

Did you guys
also have a top two?

It was me and Gigi.

So what is, like,
y'all's specialty?

Name something.

-Ooh!
-Bitch, okay.

Did y'all run into any
personal issues already?

Have you guys fought at all?

I think that
we should switch it up.

But first we gotta
get out here first.

That's the way it is.
Don't, don't, don't you wish.

Widow, are you still mad at us?

[echoing] These bitches.

-No.
-No.

So you already had a fight?

It was not a fight.
It was not a fight.

Who was the fight between?

-Our top two.
-The winners.

Oh!

I enjoy when bitches tell me
what their weaknesses are.

It was, like,
a slight disagreement.

With the pressure
of getting ready

for, like, a group number--

You all know
the pressure.

We just met the bitches,

and they're already
starting to complain.

You're supposed to show
your strongest assets,

and they kind of like crackle
in front of us.

And we're just, like,
eating popcorns

like, spill the T, bitch.
Tell us, tell us.

I had one idea where I thought
the team should have went,

and this bitch,
being in musical theater,

the two worlds didn't meet.
But--

See, me and Gigi
like each other.

We didn't fight.

Our team, we've
been through some shit,

but we're not gonna air that
out in front of the other girls.

Like, no shade,

this is a really talented group
of people right here, so I--

He could have already decided

that we're the top seven,
though.

And what comes after
the top seven, but the top six?

[all laugh]

Team talent!

-Team talent.
-Team talent.

All right, bitches,
let's get out of drag.

Exactly, yeah.

Let me take this hair off
first, though.

I'm gonna take this hair off,
and then she gonna--

We gonna have to put them down.

It's not gonna be
as easy as I thought.

Don't worry.
We were number one.

-They're number two.
-Hello.

What do you think
of those girls?

-Do you know any of them?
-We sending them home.

I don't know anybody.
We're sending them home, though.

"Team talent," my ass.

RuPaul: The winner
of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With our extra-special
guest judge Olivia Munn.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

[all talking]

It's a brand new day,

and we have a new challenge
coming our way.

It feel nice to be together
as a group

for the first time.

It's all lovely.

But it's a competition still.

These bitches gotta go home
so I can win.

[alarm]

RuPaul: Ooh, girl.

She done already
done had herses.

Hey, squirrel friends.
[cheering]

Are you tone deaf?

Do you have two left feet?

Do you suffer from
an over inflated sense of self?

Well, charisma and uniqueness
can only take you so far,

but it do take nerve

to show America
that you ain't got talent.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Hello, hello, hello!

[cheering]

Looking good!

I wanna welcome all of you
to RuPaul's Drag Race 2020.

[cheers and applause]

Now, so far, you've all
been safe from elimination,

but that's about to change.

Because starting this week,

two of you will lip sync
for your life,

and one of you will sashay away.

So let's get down
to business,

and by business,
I mean, you know.

[all laugh]

♪ Ohh, Pit Crew ♪

[cheers and applause]

Well, I guess it pays
to advertise.

[all laugh]

Now, ladies,
for today's mini-challenge,

it's time for
a queer peer assessment.

Widow Von'Du
and Jaida Essence Hall,

please step forward.

You each won
your premiere episodes.

Now, based on
your first impressions,

I want you to line up
the queens you just met

from top to bottom,

from who you think
is your strongest competitor

to your weakest competitor.

Oh.

Shady. Boo.

Shady-boo.

Ladies, it's not personal,
it's just drag.

Let's start with Widow.

Line 'em up, mm, mm, mm.

Miss Sherry.

Could you whores
move down, please?

Thank you.
There you go.

Come with me.

Ooh.

Shady, shady.

Mm-mm.

Aah!

Yeah, that's about right.

-♪ Awkward ♪
-Awkward.

So you think your toughest
competition is Sherry Pie.

And you think Aiden Zhane
is your weakest competition.

Yes.

Whatever.

Honestly, I'm unbothered.

Jaida, now it's your turn
to line 'em up.

I've watched Shaun T
for a long time.

[all laugh]

Here, because I heard
she was doing her stuff.

Have to grab Miss Brita.

Right here.

Miss Nicky.

Zuh.

Zuh.

Zuh-zuh.
[all laugh]

There we go. Done.

So you think that Gigi Goode
is your biggest competition.

Of course. She was
one of the top two, so why not?

And Heidi N Closet
is your weakest competition.

Um, just based off
first impressions.

Well, Heidi,
what do you say to that?

Fuck all them bitches.
[all laugh]

Jaida's been here
all of 10 seconds,

and she's putting me down
in front of Ru?

Bitch, please.

Now this week,
the four team captains

will be Widow and Jaida.

And the two queens
they put in the bottom.

[all laugh]

Aiden and Heidi.

Losing is the new winning.

Oh, bitch, surprise, surprise.

Jaida just did me a favor.

I am now leader of my own group,
and we gonna show her up.

Now, ladies, there are
so many competition shows

that celebrate
super-talented people.

But starting today,
there's a new TV show

for people with zero talent.

For this week's maxi-challenge,
you'll be improv-ing your way

through a little show we like
to call the World's Worst.

[laughter and applause]

-Yeah!
-Working in four teams,

you'll play wanna-be performers
with big dreams,

outrageous back stories,
but no talent whatsoever.

And you need to make us laugh.

#DragRace.

It's so hard for me
to be the worst,

but it's gonna be pretty easy
for some of them.

All right, now, team captains,

it's time to pick your teams,

starting with Aiden Zhane.

I am going to pick...

Sherry.

RuPaul: Heidi,
your turn to pick.

-Jackie.
-Okay.

Widow.

Nicky, Nicky, Nicky.
[laughs]

Jaida, you're up.

-Jan, I have to take her.
-Yes!

-Aiden.
-I'm gonna have to pick Brita.

Yes!

All right, Heidi.

I'm gonna pick my girl Gigi.

Good morning, Miss Goode.

Okay. ♪ Good morning ♪

The Widow Von'Du.

You know I gotta go
with my Missouri sister.

Come on, Miss Crystal Methyd.

-Hey.
-Jaida.

I'm gonna have to choose
Miss Dahlia.

Who's left?

Just me and her.

Okay, Rock M.,
since no one picked you,

you get to pick the team
you'd like to join.

Well, I'm gonna pick
my premiere sisters over here

with Miss Jaida.

-Yeah!
-Hi.

Oh, I love you.

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may
the best "worst woman" win.

[cheers and applause]

Let's see that.

Okay, let's see, let's see,
let's see, let's see.

I'm excited to do improv because
I like to think of myself

as somebody
who is a bit of a character,

and I need to show these bitches
that I'm not the weakest.

"Teams, three girls, one brain.

You all have to respond together
the entire time."

[all laugh]

Wow, that's a fun one.

Because of the fact that
we're supposed to be terrible,

I don't feel like
we have to actually be in sync.

Like, Sherry
starts to say something,

and then I'm like
kind of trying to follow along.

You know what I mean?

I don't trust Aiden
in leading a group.

She come across as shy
and kind of aloof.

So should we say this
all together right now

to, like, just the talent part?

We are three girls.

Two. Two claps.

Yes.

I don't think
she's ever done improv

or any character work before,

so she's like
a lost little puppy,

God bless her soul.

All: We all speak
at the same time.

Because we share the same--

I think
we gotta pick up this load,

we gotta put it on our backs,

and we gotta carry it
to the finish line.

[moans]break

Fruity Patooties.

People called me that
a lot growing up.

I'm here for it.
[all laugh]

This week's maxi-challenge

is an improv challenge
called the World's Worst.

This is basically
a reality competition show

about girls who have no talent.

All: And we'll create
a poetic masterpiece.

It's kind of like a reality show
within a reality show,

like a turducken
of reality shows.

You know what I'm saying?

It's really meta.

First what we need to do
is figure out, like,

what characters people feel like
would be their strength.

I can do the grapes.

Our group will be playing fruits
who are LGBTQ activists.

It's the ambitious role which
I feel like I could be like,

yeah, we're gonna do it,
you guys!

-[laughs]
-Yeah!

And then we have the bad apple--

ooh, the former member
of the Fruity Patooties--

and was kicked out
and replaced by broccoli.

I think I like
the bad apple role.

I like the bad apple role,
too, though.

I feel like I would be able
to really just, like, ham it up.

But it's up to you.

Okay, I'll take
the bad apple role then,

just because
I know that's, like,

really, like, something
I know I'll excel in.

Okay.

I feel really good about this.

"The Del Rio triplets."

We're approaching 80. Okay.

Oh, so we're gonna be
old, old, old.

-Word.
-Okay.

I have a lot
of improv background.

I think I'll be able
to lead the group

to make sure that
we don't get too off-track.

-Let's back it up real quick.
-Yeah, yeah, okay.

Have either of you guys
ever done improv?

-I have, in school.
-Yeah, me, too.

Okay. Do you remember what
the first rule of improv is?

-It's been a while.
-Always say yes, and.

-Yes, and.
-Yes, and.

Never say no to anything.

We'll never
shut each other down on stage.

Yes, and...

You don't say that.

Jaida kind of got me in my head

when she believed
that I am the weakest link.

Always think about
the body first.

-Walk with me, girls.
-Okay.

But luckily my team
that I picked

is helping me get through that.

[imitating old man]
Real pains in the you-know-what.

It's been forever since anyone
seen your "you-know-what."

Yeah, yeah.

So I feel like
this is gonna be

right up my avenue--avenue--
av-av--

Bitch, I live on an avenue.

Why can't I say the word?
[laughs]

Our team's made up of
three Squirrel Scouts:

Squirrel Scout A, the smart one,

Squirrel Scout B,
the sexy one,

and Squirrel Scout C.
I'm the drunk one. Hiccup.

I think we should try
to not go predictable.

Mm-hmm.

So, like, what do you think--

I say we play to our strengths.

So you would be the drunk,
I would be the sexy?

-I love how--
-You said it yourself.

I'll be drunk,
I'll be drunk, yeah.

Sure, you can be drunk.

-Oh, yes.
-All right.

Oh, my God,
this funny stuff, delicious.

All right. I'm the sexy one.

Okay.

I'm not happy
with the role that I got,

because being a look queen
and being the sexy one

is kind of like predictable.

I should have been
the drunk scout.

Hey, squirrel friends.

-Hey!
-Hey!

-Hi, kids.
-Hi, Ru.

Widow, why did you put Aiden
as the weakest link?

Well, when we all
got to meet each other,

out of everybody,
she was the one that

didn't give us enough, like,
who she is, what she does.

So if you don't
have confidence, bitch,

then you sound weak.

I see.

Werk.

Now, Crystal Methyd,
kind of wacky, aren't you?

A little bit.

And do you know you have
the hair of El DeBarge?

I don't know who that is, no.

He was in the group DeBarge,
and they sang a song,

♪ To the beat of the rhythm
of the night ♪

[humming]

[all laugh]

So now this
is an improv challenge.

Anybody do improv before?

I've done it in my language.

-I host a lot of shows.
-Yeah.

And sometimes you're improv-ing
when you're hosting shows,

because you never know

what's gonna happen
in the crowd, or what's--

Yeah, well, this, though,
has more of an outline.

Even though it seems
unstructured, it is structured.

You gotta infuse your character
with behavior.

You have to know
where you come from

so whatever happens,
you've got something for it.

I think of all the threesomes,
you're kind of the oddest one.

I would never picture
you three together.

Odd's where it's at.

Odd is where it's at.
I like that.

Well, I can't wait to see
what you do with it.

♪ To the beat of the rhythm
of the night ♪

[humming]

All right, I can't wait
to see you out there.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, Ru.

Heidi N Closet.

Hi!

You know that's
a terrible name, right?

It is, it's terrible.
It's awful.

Yeah, I can technically
tell you why.

Because Heidi, then
you have to reshape your mouth

to say "N," and then Closet.

It's not very satisfying.

Heidi, fine.

Heidi Ho, Heidi Goodbyedie.

Yes!

If she has to change my name
to Heidi Hoo, Heidi Ho,

Heidi Doody, Heidi
Don't Call Me Late For Lunch,

if that's what it takes
to get to the end,

a bitch might just
change her name.

So now you strike me as someone
who's done improv before.

I love improv.

Tell me about improv.
What's the key to improv?

The first rule, girls,
we said it earlier--we say...

All: Yes, and.

Great!

-I taught them well.
-Perfect.

Have any of you
done improv before?

She's improv-ed
in the bedroom before.

Oh, my God, you are a character.

[all laugh]
You are a cha-rick-tor.

So they know, just say it
one more time so they heard you.

Yeah, they heard me.

So that's your job
to now hone that

and shape it into something
for this challenge.

All right, I can't wait
to see you out there.

-Awesome sauce.
-Thank you, Ru.

Thank you.

Hey, ladies.

-Hello!
-Hello!

So Jaida, this is your team.

What's the name of your team?

We are the Fruity Patooties.

-Ooh!
-I helped start this group,

but some of them
are a little bit fake

and they're not
who they say they are,

so I'm gonna expose them
for exactly who they are.

Oh.
[all laugh]

Rock M. sock 'em, you had
a choice of any team to go to.

Why'd you choose this team?

I'm very familiar
with these girls.

Oh, because you were
all part of the same group.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Yes, we're all part
of the same group,

and these girls have been good,
like, emotional cores for me.

Do you need an emotional core?

Um, I've been finding out
recently in this competition

that it's been a little hard.

So these girls help bring out
the star potential in me.

And once it's out, I'll be able
to keep it there by myself.

You're an interesting queen,

and if there was ever a time
to apply that,

it's in this challenge.

Uh-huh.

What fruit are you?

I'm an orange.

Uh-huh. All right.

And what about you, Jaida?

I'm a terribly sad bad apple.

[all laugh]

All right, girls.
I'll see you out there.

See you out there.

I feel like the orange
is not interesting.

Her character description
is literally, like, three words.

I'm thinking

that if I have a character
that is not interesting,

I'm going to go down in flames.

I kind of--I kind of wanna--
I kind of wanna say something.

I really don't wanna
step on toes or anything,

but I am really feeling like

I would feel more comfortable
with the apple.

[sighs]

With the bad apple role.

I don't know why
she is doing this,

but I'm not about
to take this orange.

Just because
I feel like I can do angry.

If I take the apple role,

then I can really deliver
what Ru was saying.

The thing is is like
you have this tendency

to, like,
second guess what you do.

I'm thinking, like,
now at this point

it's kind of a little bit late.

Right now
it's apples and oranges,

and I want that apple.

I want the apple.
Gimme the apple!

Child, I'm not gonna be
this damn orange, no.break

Carson:
Welcome to World's Worst.

It's audition week,
and the crowds have gathered

to see if they can make the cut

for a coveted ticket
to West Hollywood.

Good luck.
Let's meet some of them.

Well, hello, Del Rio Trio!

Excuse me. Pardon me.

I gave you a bit of a start.

Now, are you guys triplets?

Yes!

Identical.
Can you believe it?

We were born in 1939,

and we are the best
three-part harmony singers

and instrumentalists.

Beautiful music.

We've been inspired
by so many great trios:

the Andrew Sisters,
the Dixie Chicks.

And never forget
Charlie's Angels.

Charlie's Angels.

The Charlie's Angels--

[all groan]

Are you sure she's okay?

Oh, she'll be just fine.

If you say so.

All right, ladies, we're gonna
get you in for your audition.

Are you ready, Blanca?

Are you--are you--

Oh, Blanca! Blanca!

-No!
-We have to audition!

This is our chance!

And the best thing
about the Del Rio Trio

is that they're a triple threat.

There's no limit
to the things they can't do.

You're sure she's okay?

Oh, she'll be just fine.

One, two, three.

Okay. Break a hip, ladies.

Hello, World's Worst.

Don't mind us.

We're just sitting
our dear sister down.

She a little loosey-goosey
right now.

Welcome to World's Worst.
Thank you for being here.

Of course you know
I'm Bossy Rossy.

This is Charo.

And this, of course, is Ornacia.

Mother has arrived.

You know we're looking
for the worst.

Are you the worst?

Yes, that's why we're here.

-We're the Del Rio Trio!
-We're the Del Rio Trio!

I'm Bronca, the leader.

And I'm Cronca, the wild child.

And I'm Blanca,
the young, very lively sister.

Hi!

The one in the middle
makes me look animated.

Here we go.

We play instruments.

Yes, you wanna hear
our instruments?

I am concerned.

I think that,
uh, look a little tired.

Oh, no, no, she's fine.

A-five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Row, row, row your boat,
gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream ♪

Now Imma take you
to church this time.

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Row, row, row your boat,
gently down the stream, whoo ♪

[laughs]

Oh, my God, Heidi's
a breakout performer,

and she seems ready
to show everyone

she should not
have been placed in the bottom.

Whoo!

Oh, oh, that was awful!

I think they're terrible,
terrible.

I'm wondering, Charo,

if you could teach the Del Rio
Trio how to coochie-coochie.

Oh, definitely.

Okay, now we need attitude.

All right, all four of you,
come on, let's do it.

Okay, one, two, three, coochie,
coochie, coochie, coochie!

Coochie, coochie.
Coochie, coochie.

Salsa, salsa, salsa.

-Salsa!
-Salsa!

Sounds great.
I love salsa!

Gigi is killing it.

[laughs]

Get it?

Killing it,
because she was dead.

[laughs]

What do you think?

Well, I think Blanca is...dead.

A dead ringer
for a young Carol Channing!

Don't you think?

Raspberries!

Blanca?

Yes, Ross?

You and your sisters...
are going to West Hollywood!

[cheering]
Yes!

-Yes.
-What?

Where--where am I?

How did I get in this room?

You're going to West Hollywood!

[cheering]

Oh! Oh, oh, oh!

What a world, what a world!

To think that
my dreams would come true

and I die in the same moment!

I've fallen, and I can't get up.

[wailing]

Blanca, you don't need 'em.

You're going
to West Hollywood, honey.

What? Come on, girls.

Where's the door at?

It's hard to stand out
as a corpse,

and, bitch, I know
I did a damn good job.

See you in West Hollywood,
ladies!

Well, hello there,
not-so-young ladies.

-Hi!
-Howdy-ho!

Hi. Where are you guys from?

We're the Squirrel Scouts
from Camp Bangaho.

Who's this little--
cute little guy in there?

[chittering]
Ow!

-Squirrelly!
-Oh, my God.

Well, I can't wait to see
you ladies sell yourselves.

All right, good luck.

[whistle blows]

I'll go nuts, you go nuts,
we'll go nuts for nut butter.

Whoo-hoo!

Howdy-ho, judges.

We're the Squirrel Camp--

Squirrel Scouts
from Camp Bangaho.

Oh...Not a great start.

I'm Leslie Ann.

I'm Chantal.

And I'm Renisha Lashawn Jackson.

And this is our friend
Squirrelly.

Say hi to Squirrelly.
Hi, Squirrelly.

Es un ardilla.
Un ardilla [chattering]

Yeah.

We came together at camp

after our parents abandoned us
when we were 10.

We got abandoned
at the bus stop.

[wailing]

And then we had to fend for
ourselves out in the wilderness.

I had to eat rocks.

I had to use sticks as tampons.

And what do you do, exactly?

We are here today

to earn our reality
television show merit badge.

As you can see,
we have so many already.

I have this merit badge
for having the best smile.

And I have this one

because I can make
matte lipstick out of berries.

And this is barbecue sauce.

[all laugh]

Widow is not afraid
to take it there.

She looks a hot mess,

and she even smells
a little bit drunk,

and I'm just hoping
I can keep up.

We actually have a beautiful
product to show you right now.

-All right.
-Okay.

Not only are we survivors,
we're also entrepreneurs.

-'Preneur!
-Yeah!

-Oh!
-Ooh.

Nut butter.

Nut butter.
Ooh, you make it?

It is hand-shaped
and squeezed by myself.

And I swallow--
I mean, taste-test.

Would you like
to try it out yourselves?

-Well, dame uno.
-I'll take two.

Now, careful.
Don't bust that nut.

[Charo laughs]

Get those nut butters
away from my face.

Do you wanna taste it?

I wanna taste it, just a little.

Are there squirrel juices
in this?

Well...

It's organic?

No.

Crystal is struggling
as much as me,

but I have three years
of English.

She has 28.

I have to say, you ladies
put "manure" in "entrepreneur."

Can I see this squirrel
up close?

Squirrelly. He's so nice--

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Take the rest!

-I can't see!
-It got my tits!

-Squirrelly, no!
-Let's go, girls!

No matter how much I feel
like I did my part,

it's a team challenge.

I ain't gonna bullshit
with you.

I'm scared.
I'm terrified.

There's a squirrel in my
pants!break

...or go to traffic
school,subtitle

and I hate traffic school.

Hate it.

Whoo!

Oh, here comes the next group.

Hi!

It's a bunch of fruits!

-We are--
-Okay, we practiced this number.

One, two, three.

All: The Fruity Patooties!

Oh!

Hello, America!

My name is Big Gay Grape.

I am Orange,
and I'm as sweet as a Clementine

and just as petite.

I'm your fully realized
steamed vegetable: broccoli.

-And we're gay.
-We're super gay.

And we're so excited

to be representing our community
here on this show.

We just want everybody to know
that you are all accepted

no matter who you are
or where you are from.

You're broccoli,
but you're in the Fruity--

you're in the fruity group?

Well, yes.
She's a fierce brocc-ally.

I'm a fierce brocc-ally.

Girl, I look crazy right now.

I have this huge-ass broccoli
on my head,

I'm sweating profusely,

both of my eyelashes
are falling off at this point.

I'm not looking polished,

and it's just
throwing my whole game off.

I'm a fully realized broccoli.

Okay.

I think that me and Rock

are very, very high energy,

and Broccoli is just being
a fully realized broccoli,

and she's being super sexy,

and I don't know

if that's really
coming across to the judges.

I'd like to start off
with a little joke.

I smell a real big stinker
coming on.

Let's spray a little Poo-Pourri.

Kids love the joke.
We're gonna start it off, okay.

[clears throat]
Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Orange!

Orange who?

Orange you glad
that we can live in a community

that accepts
our brothers and sisters,

be they vegetable or fruit?

Girl, this team is the pits.

Quick question. You said
you were gonna tell jokes.

When is that gonna start?

Well, that was our best one.

Enough!

Big Apple, what in the sauce
are you doing here?

You know why I'm here,
and I'm gonna expose you!

I'm here
to set the record straight

to a few phony Patooties I know.

The world is gonna see them
for exactly who they are.

I created the phony patootie,

and you're trying to steal
all of what I've done!

[laughs]

How many doctors do I have
to eat a day to keep you away?

There's not enough doctors
to keep me down!

And Broccoli.

Nobody likes broccoli.

Keep your stem outta my face.

Huh...

Oh! Oh!

She broccoli-speared her.

-Food fight!
-Food fight!

Oh!

I'm gonna juice you!

[all laugh]

Aah! Aah!

Don't bruise the fruit!

Are you thirsty?

Because I got
some fruit punch for you!

Stop it!

Everybody
speak slowly and clearly.

What the hell is going on?

Little do you know,
they're straight!

I'm gonna ask you
a few questions, all right?

Sure.

Grape, what does Mariah Carey
call her fans?

Her, um, butterflies?

I gotcha. It's lambs.

I'm surprised at you.

I thought you were gay
this whole time.

I've never been so steamed
in my life.

All right, final question.

Who won the Super Bowl
last year?

-The Patriots, whoo!
-The Patriots!

That settles it.

You are not gay!

[gasps]

You're not going
to West Hollywood.

Oh, no! [sobbing]

An apple a day keep your
coochie-coochie awake.

Oh, Lord! [sobbing]

Well, hello there.
Who do we have here?

All: We are three girls
with one brain.

We met at a bus stop,

and all of a sudden,
lightning struck!

And now we speak
as a collective unit.

Hello!

All right, three girls,
one brain.

Give us a word,

and we will create
a poetic masterpiece.

There was a guy
from Miss-i-pippi.

There once was a guy
from Miss-i-pippi

who sat on a wall.

There once was a guy
from Miss-i-pippi

who had a great fall.

All the queens' horses
and all the queens' men

couldn't put there once
was a guy from Miss-i-pippi

together again.

Can "worst" be a three-way tie?

I wanna know
a little bit more about you.

What's your favorite kind
of ice cream. Quick!

Chocolate.

Excuse us just a minute,
please, ladies.

Charo, do you feel
like these ladies

maybe are faking it
a little bit?

I'm gonna come up there
for one second.

Ladies, I'm not convinced

that you really do
share one brain.

But if you did,
when I slapped one of you,

you would all feel it,
wouldn't you?

Should I slap you?

Should I slap you?

Ow.

I've seen all I need to see.

That's it. I'm impressed.

Do you ever find this
overwhelming

in your daily lives,
sharing one brain?

Do--

I can't do this anymore.

I'm going back
to James and the Peach.

What? I thought you were
three girls with one brain?

Lies-a Minnelli! Lies!

We are two girls--

One girl--one girl--

One fucking brain. Let's go!

They were the worst!

We need them!

Ladies!

We need you!

Well, that wraps up
audition week in Tuckaho,

and that truly was
the World's Worst.

I'll see you next week
in West Hollywood...

in the alley behind
Mickey's.break

Get a team, Heidi.
Heidi-Doody!

Heidi-Doody, how you doing?

Ah, it's elimination day.

It's the day
we're gonna find out

what the judges think
of our performances.

I really wish I had pushed
a little bit more for that
apple.

I just tried to cram
as many fruit puns as possible.

She's very punny.

I just hope it's not
our clemen-time to go.

-Shut up!
-[laughs]

It's scary, but I'm not
gonna let these girls know

that I'm nervous at all,
because I'm not nervous at all.

I'm pretty nervous, yeah.
I'm actually--

How you guys feeling
about yesterday?

I think there are certain things

that we could have done better
as a group.

I'm nervous about our team.

Aiden was definitely
the weakest link.

I honestly felt like
you didn't really lead us much.

Yeah, I mean, I love you,

but, like,
you didn't lead us at all.

When it comes down to it,

Sherry and I
are both really good at--

or at least we like to think
we are really good at improv.

That's what we do
in New York City all the time.

But at times, I felt like
we were carrying you.

I did choose specifically
two people

who I knew would be strong
in this type of challenge,

so I really
just wanted everything

to be kind of
everybody's decision and--

But when you're the leader,
like--

Are you gonna just rely on
everyone for every other--

For a challenge here? Like--

I thought I did a good job.

I'm not agreeing with this
at all.

I did rise to the occasion
in this challenge.

I feel like I'm constantly
fighting this battle

of being the "weak link,"
so I'm not gonna focus on

these other queens and their
"constructive criticism."

Do y'all have, like,
any siblings at all,

like, or is it just you?

Because you give me very,
like, only child energy.

Bitch, you're gonna gag.

So I have
literally a fucking twin.

-Shut up!
-Bitch lies. No, ma'am.

But literally every time
I tell people that,

people always fucking gag.

-We look the exact same.
-Aah!

-Are you both gay?
-Yeah, we're both gay.

Oh, wow.

So twins, gays,
how did your parents take it?

I literally came out
in Applebee's to her.

[all laugh]

Oh, over the Two-for-20?

-Literally, though.
-Aah!

I told my brother, I was like,

bitch, I'm about
to come out right now.

He was like, he was like,
don't bring me in it.

And then he walked
to the bathroom.

He goes to the bathroom because
he doesn't wanna come out now,

but I do. [laughs]

Then my mom was like,
girl, I know you're gay, so...

But eventually,
my brother came out

five or six months later
after me,

and my mom was like, finally!

Funnier thing is too that
he wants to start doing drag.

Oh, word, bitch.

Now my brother wants to do drag,

and, bitch,
I don't have time for it.

He's been like,
girl, put me in drag.

Actually,
he doesn't even say "girl,"

because he doesn't
speak like me.

And I'm like, this is my thing,
not yours, bitch.

[laughs] Literally.

I think a subtle eight inches
is good, don't you think?

[all laugh]

We been sitting here
kiki-ing, BFFs,

living, loving life,
and reality is setting in.

Us bitches are about
to start going home one by one,

and it starts here.

That nose is staring
right at me, bitch.

She'll poke your eye out.
Watch out.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

RuPaul: And what?

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Second runner-up of South
Plainfield's Got Talent 1987,

Michelle Visage.

I demand a recount!

Hanging chads!

From So You Think You Can
Yodel, it's Ross Mathews.

-Yodelay-she-hoo!
-[laughs]

And from Brown Eye
for the Straight Guy,

it's Carson Kressley.

Oh, actually, it was pinkeye,
but that's a whole other story.

[all laugh]
I think I still have it.

And the fabulous
Olivia Munn. Welcome!

Ru, if loving you is wrong,
I wanna be the worst.

[all laugh]

For the first time this season,

we brought
all of our queens together

and challenged them
to improv the house down.

And tonight on the runway,
category is Buttons and Bows.

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win.break

Category is Buttons and Bows.

First up, Jaida Essence Hall.

Carson: Well, I've heard
of bow-legged,

but never bow-armed.

Jaida: I'm giving you
pink Barbie doll realness.

Different layers of pinks.

Just keep it, like,
nice and cute.

RuPaul: Jaida Pinkett Jacket.

Michelle: Oh, my God.

RuPaul: Dahlia Sin.
Bunny, I'm home!

Ross: And then there's mauve.

[all laugh]

Dahlia: My runway look
is pin-up, bunny rabbit,

just bouncing down the runway,
shaking my little ass,

and I'm here for it.

RuPaul: What's up, Dahlia?

Deuce.

RuPaul: Rock M. Sakura.

Alice, come through
the looking glass.

[all laugh]

Rock:
My concept behind this look

is Alice in Wonderland
takes prenatal vitamins,

and her hair gets really long.

She doesn't know
what to do with it,

so she just keeps
putting bows in it.

Carson: Oh, lions and tigers
and merkins, oh, my!

[all laugh]

RuPaul: For your consideration,
Jan, simply Jan.

Michelle:
Oh, yes, you better voodoo!

[all laugh]

Jan: My look
is scary voodoo doll,

and I am walking
like I'm ready to possess

every single bitch
in this building.

Carson: I think
she's got this sewn up.

RuPaul: Mm-hmm.

Michelle:
Basic stitches, beware.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Heidi N Closet.

Carson: You know, she said
it was nine inches long,

but I think she's lying.

[all laugh]

Heidi: My runway
is very Pinocchi-ho

come to life as a real girl.

She's got her big old bows,

and she got some buttons
underneath her skirt,

if you wanna see.

-Ooh!
-Whoa!

Carson: Now I'm made of wood.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Gigi Goode.

Michelle:
She's so buttoned up.

[all laugh]

Gigi: Bitch, I am covered

in 25.000 orange buttons.

This is honestly the heaviest
thing I've ever worn,

but I'm doing my best
to make it look like

it's completely effortless
to walk in.

Carson: Oh, my God, Becky,
look at her buttons.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Jackie Cox.

Oh, I say, there's trouble
in River City.

Michelle:
Trouble with a capital T!

Jackie: My look is inspired
by the Pearlies of England,

who created this look

at around turn of the century
Industrial Revolution.

The pearl buttons
were a cheap way

to really make any outfit
more fabulous.

Carson: Yodelay-hee-ho.

RuPaul: The Widow Von'Du.

Michelle:
Bozo, you better don't!

Widow: I am serving you
my clown couture realness.

Is she a big top?

[all laugh]

I like to serve
different high-fashion looks

that may not be
your cup of tea.

RuPaul: Brown clown stunning.

[all laugh]

Crystal Methyd.

Carson: Well, she obviously
tied one on

before she hit the runway.

RuPaul: She certainly did.

Crystal:
My Buttons and Bows look

is cutesy
little baby eleganza.

This look is pink and fluffy
and inspired by a present,

because I'm a gift
to the judges.

Carson:
Wrap it up, I'll take it.

[all laugh]

RuPaul:
Ca va, Nicky Doll.

Carson: Ooh, she's got
a measuring tape.

That's so handy.

RuPaul:
Guess who's back with a mouse?

[all laugh]

Nicky: Nicky Doll
is serving Cinderella

to the judges tonight.

She is in her outfit
with her little mice

and is working on her dress

and she's definitely
gonna go to the ball.

I like my vision, and I'm
super proud of what I'm doing.

RuPaul: Gerbils: they're not
just for anuses anymore.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Aiden Zhane.

Carson:
Ribboned for your pleasure.

[all laugh]

Aiden: I am feeling
very Lisa Frank

with my bows raining down
on the shoulders.

I love to take simple things

and really make something
out of nothing.

Ross: Her real name is Barrette.

-Barrette?
-Barrette.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Brita.
Brita, please.

[all laugh]

Brita: Move over,
Polly Pocket,

there's a new doll in town.

I'm serving you
fiesta coral realness.

That waist is cinched
to the gods, just flawless.

Michelle:
I can see her camel bows.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Up next, Sherry Pie.

I think I've seen this movie.

I think it's called
Mannibelle.

[all laugh]

-Uh-oh.
-Ooh.

Michelle:
Somebody fed her after midnight.

Sherry: This look is very
I'm sending a letter to Daddy.

I wanna show
another version of camp

which is
a little spooky-ooky.

Michelle: Goodbye, Dolly.

[all laugh]break

Welcome, ladies.

When I call your name,
please step forward.

Widow Von'Du.

Jaida Essence Hall.

Jan.

Rock M. Sakura.

Gigi Goode.

Aiden Zhane.

Brita.

Ladies, you are all safe.

You may leave the stage.

Ladies, you represent

the tops and bottoms
of the week.

And now it's time
for the judges' critiques,

starting with Dahlia Sin.

This runway look
I really enjoyed.

This subtle color palette
all works,

and this is
a beautiful presentation.

I loved what you did on the
runway, bouncing like a bunny.

Your ears were so cute.

I just thought
you were so beautiful.

Thank you.

You are stunning,
but the hair,

because it's like a mauve,
I couldn't see it.

I kind of lose that
a little bit.

All right, let's talk about
the improv challenge.

It was a roughage challenge
for you.

[all laugh]

You kept looking
to the other girls,

and every time you did that,

you would block your face
from the camera.

I was trying to give them
more, like, demure,

but, like,
still trying to be sexy.

Well, blocking the camera
is a big no-no

when you're filming
a television show.

The whole idea
of the fruit thing

is because you guys are gay,
and that's an old-school term.

That's the joke.

But any time Broccoli spoke,

it didn't really do anything.

Yeah, I was trying to play
more of, like,

being the sensual, sexy
broccoli that I am.

I know it's hard
to be a piece of broccoli

when you like to be beautiful
and sexy, but we wanted more.

The broccoli
was just lost in the sauce.

All right, Heidi, I have
just one question for you.

Is it Heidi Ho or Heidi Doody?

I was liking Heidi Ho.

Well, drive it around the block
a few days

and see how it works.

-Hey, Heidi.
-Hi, gorgeous.

How are you?

I'm blessed and highly favored.

[all laugh]

In the improv challenge,

you were really fun
because you had a character.

You came in with that flipper
that you spit out,

and you made me laugh
throughout the entire thing.

This runway look, it is that
combination of really beautiful,

but it still has
the sense of humor.

The nose thing.

As soon as you
came around the corner,

I saw the tip first
and became very excited.

And then I said,
oh, it's just her nose.

Michelle: Carson!

This was a thoroughly
delightful runway look.

I really appreciate
that y'all like this,

because this is actually

a little nod
to some of my history.

Because back in high school,
I ran track,

and my hair
used to be down to here.

And the guy
was lining up the girls,

and he was like,

well, get over here
with the rest of the girls.

I was like, but I'm a boy!

And then they started
calling me, "He's a real boy!"

-Aw.
-Pinocchio.

Tonight was a fun night for you,
Heidi. Good job.

Jaida thought
you were one of the weakest,

and look at you now.

Joke's on her.

[RuPaul laughs]

Up next, Jackie Cox.

I wanna compliment you

on listening to
my makeup recommendation.

-Much better.
-Thank you.

Let's talk about this look.

I love this, because
it was like, oh, my God,

it's Strawberry Shortcake
if she ran a brothel.

-Oh!
-I love it!

I saw immediately the Pearlies,

because it reminded me
of Mary Poppins,

the Julie Andrews one,

where it's this type of outfit.

It is just
a skosh costume store,

but then you,
in the improv challenge,

were so fun to watch.

You weren't afraid
to make weird faces.

You weren't caught up
in the "am I looking sexy,"

which can kill comedy.

RuPaul:
Up next, Crystal Methyd.

So we're gonna talk about your
performance as a Squirrel Scout.

You kind of got lost.

When you're in a group,
it's so hard.

And in your case, you had Widow.

You know, she took a character,
and she took it all the way.

And she gave us
something to go, hmm.

Clearly an alcoholic.

Oh, and she likes barbecue.

[all laugh]

You needed to be more specific.

We're counting on you
to take us on a ride.

I'm not gonna lie.
Your makeup is distracting.

It's now become repetitive.

I love red and pink together,

but I would love
if you could find a way

to merge the beautiful art
that you do...

with your face.

How do I say that?

I wanna see who you are.

Uhh.

Uh, I think part of the reason
that I have the face that I do

is because Crystal
makes me confident.

And I have a hard time showing
myself and opening up to...

I'm sorry. [sobs]

You know,
seeing you in the werkroom

with nothing on
but that El DeBarge mullet,

Mama Ru says
you're fucking fascinating.

I need you to infuse that

into everything that you do
in this competition.

You know, when I first
came out to California,

I would take on every audition

and I would just have
the attitude whatever you want.

Tell me it, and I'll be it.

You want me to smile,
you want me to--

Whatever you want, I can do it.

And that got me nowhere,
until one day I realized

what is the one thing I have
that no one else has?

And that's me.

And you really have such
a fun energy nobody else has.

That will make
the difference for you,

not how much makeup you put on.

Amen!

Thank you.

Up next, Nicky Doll.

I loved this runway look.

You gave us this theme
in such a non-literal

but really fun way,
with the button.

I'm gonna call that
a wiganator,

because it's like a fascinator.

What did you call me?

[all laugh]

When it comes to the skit
that you guys did,

I feel the same way
that I felt with Crystal.

You disappeared a little bit.

Even more so.

Crystal was pushing
a little bit.

I felt like you were nervous.

Does the language barrier,
like, slow you up?

It has built frustration for me.

We had such a great example
with Charo...

Es un ardilla.
Un ardilla. [chattering]

...who launches into Spanish
at the drop of a hat.

Throw in the French.

It's fun, it's charming,
it's you.

Bring more of you to the game.

RuPaul: Up next, Sherry Pie.

Let's talk about
Three Girls, One Brain.

Just watching you all do it
and following each other

was so funny.

And you had
such a commanding presence.

The thing about improv
is you have to go with the flow,

but you can prep for it, too.

It just all felt so fresh
and so funny.

Your skit was my favorite.

This runway look is so great
because it is campy,

but in this
really fashionable way.

Thank you.

RuPaul:
Ladies, thank you very much.

I think we've heard enough.

While you go
and untuck backstage,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, now just between
us Squirrel Scouts,

what do you think?
Dahlia Sin.

She just faded away, and she was
wearing a giant broccoli suit.

That's not easy.

She's also caught up
in this "I am a sexy queen,"

and she needs to have many other
lanes up in this competition.

Heidi.

I loved
what she did on the runway.

She gave us Buttons and Bows
in kind of an unexpected way.

In the improv challenge,
she really made me laugh.

And then I kind of
fell in love with her

when she started
opening up to us.

It's a good week for Heidi Ho.

Jackie Cox.

In the challenge,
she went there,

and that makes my heart sing.

I believe whatever happens
in this competition,

we will see her performing
on stages around the world.

Crystal Methyd.

The fact that she wore
that makeup as a Squirrel Scout

is telling that
she's hiding behind that mask.

Even Rock M.
changed her makeup completely.

She faded in the background
in the challenge,

and on the runway, she just
looked a little unfinished.

If she just has a little time
to bake a little longer,

she could be incredible.

-Nicky Doll.
-In the challenge for me,

if Crystal Methyd
was fading into the background,

then Nicky Doll was invisible.

But on the runway,
that look was so thought out

and exactly the kind of approach
you need to be bringing

to every second
of this competition.

It breaks my heart,
because you can see

how each one of them
cares so much,

and it matters so much
to every one of them.

It's really hard for me to think
about any of them going home.

Sherry Pie.

In the challenge,
she was very funny,

and she was giving me, like,

Ethyl Merman
mixed with Lucille Ball.

And then she comes out
on the runway.

I love that she blends
kind of classic

with her own modern twist.

All right, silence.
I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.break

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Heidi.

You're safe.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Sherry Pie.

Con-drag-ulations.

You are the winner
of this week's challenge.

[applause]
Thank you so much.

You've won a cash prize
of $5.000.

Thank you.

Jackie Cox.

You're safe.

Thank you.

Nicky Doll.

Your buttons and bows
are très chic,

but your improv
was a little weak.

Dahlia Sin,
you're a beautiful queen,

but the judges had some beef
with your broccoli.

Crystal Methyd,
Squirrel Scout,

you've got real potential,

but the judges weren't nuts
about your improv.

Crystal Methyd.

You're safe.

Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

Nicky Doll and Dahlia Sin.

I'm sorry, my dears,
but you are up for elimination.

Oh, my God, I'm so pissed.

I really don't agree with Ru

saying that I should be
in the bottom two.

Bitch, no.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination!

The time has come...
[thunder]

for you to lip sync...

[echoing] for your life!

I deserve to stay,
and I'm gonna fight for my spot.

Bitch, I'm not going home.

Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

I got one more problem
with you, girl. Hey!

♪ Hey, baby,
even though I hate you ♪

♪ I wanna love you ♪

♪ I want you ♪

♪ And even though
I can't forgive you ♪

♪ I really want to ♪

♪ I want you ♪

♪ Head in the clouds ♪

♪ Got no weight
on my shoulders ♪

♪ I should be wiser,
and realize that I've got ♪

♪ One less problem
without you ♪

♪ I got one less problem
without you ♪

♪ I got one less problem
without you ♪

♪ I got one less,
one less problem ♪

♪ It's Iggy Iggz ♪

♪ Uh, what you got? ♪

♪ Smart money bettin' I'll
be better off without you ♪

♪ In no time, I'll be
forgettin' all about you ♪

♪ You saying that you know, but
I really, really doubt you ♪

♪ Understand, my life is easy
when I ain't around you ♪

♪ Iggy, Iggy, too biggie
to be here stressing ♪

♪ I'm thinking
I love the thought of you ♪

♪ More than I love
your presence ♪

♪ And no half-stepping ♪

♪ Either you want it
or you just playin' ♪

♪ I'm listening to you ♪

♪ Knowin' I can't believe
what you're sayin' ♪

♪ There's a million yous,
baby boo, so don't be dumb ♪

♪ I got 99 problems,
but you won't be one ♪

♪ Like what? ♪

RuPaul: Yes!

[cheers and applause]

♪ Head in the clouds,
got no weight on my shoulders ♪

♪ I should be wiser,
and realize that I've got ♪

♪ One less problem
without you ♪

♪ I got one less problem
without you ♪

♪ I got one less problem
without you ♪

♪ One less, one less, yeah ♪

♪ I got one less problem
without you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[cheers and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Nicky Doll, enchanté, you stay.

Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

[sighs]

-Well done.
-Thank you.

Dahlia Sin.

My dear, we'll have one less
gorgeous queen without you.

[sighs]

Now sashay away.

Thank you.

-Whoo.
-We love you, Dahlia.

[applause]

I'm so over it.
So fucking pissed.

Ugh.

I'm shocked by the outcome.

It's crazy to me
that I'm going home first.

I kind of fucked myself over by
choosing the fucking broccoli.

But Crystal should have been
lip syncing and not me.

Even though I did storm off,

I'm just thankful for
the opportunity, to be honest.

I'm thankful for the people
that I got to meet,

and I went out
in something cute at least.

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get a "amen" up in here?

-Amen!
-Amen!

All right.
Now let the music play.

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪vote

♪ Just like you, too ♪graphic

RuPaul: Next time
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

We are throwing a fashion ball,
darling.

Yes!

It takes a lot of balls
to wear that look.

Aah! Oh, my God,
I'm losing my mind.

No, no, no, you are not
trying to pass that off

as a look to me.

Somebody's going home today.

Shit done got real, honey.

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-American,
American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪