All language subtitles for New.Girl.S02E16.Table.34.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H265-SiGMA-eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:07,137 [whispers]: Oh, my God! 2 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,662 [sighs] 3 00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:16,233 [snoring] 4 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,235 Oh, you kissed her! You idiot! 5 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:21,108 You... 6 00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:22,239 [groans] 7 00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:23,588 [high-pitched gasp] 8 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,466 No, no, no.[muffled shrieking] 9 00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,294 I wasn't doing anything. I wasn't. No, no, no. 10 00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,165 I wasn't doing anything, I wasn't doing anything, I... 11 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:36,732 [whispering]: Do not moonwalk away from me. 12 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:38,777 Do not. You are not. 13 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,562 You're doing it. Nick? 14 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:41,998 Shamone. He did. 15 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,308 [sighs] 16 00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,179 [yawning] 17 00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:52,095 [both yawning loudly] 18 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,227 Oh. 19 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,316 Ugh, my God. 20 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,013 Oh, I just woke up. 21 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,189 I've been sleeping for hours and hours. 22 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,278 Nice. Me, too. 23 00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:04,020 Let's see here. 24 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,023 Oh, sweet. Ten e-mails. 25 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:12,159 Hey, Sam, um... 26 00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,204 I have to tell you something. 27 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,902 How do you always look so beautiful in the morning? 28 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:19,035 Sometimes I can't even look at you. 29 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,732 I can't even-- I got to look away. 30 00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,125 I can't even look at you right now. 31 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,301 Wait, but I got to. Now I got to look away. 32 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,129 I just can't resist. Oh, geez. 33 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,089 [laughs] What were you gonna say? 34 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,049 Nothing. 35 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,572 It was nothing. 36 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,271 Jess? 37 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:38,663 Nick kissed me. 38 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:42,841 Wha...?! 39 00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:45,192 ♪ Who's that girl? 40 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,367 ♪ Who's that girl?♪ 41 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,324 ♪ It's Jess. 42 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,415 [whistles] 43 00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:54,331 [groans]: Oh, man. Okay. 44 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:57,160 I had the best sex of my life last night. 45 00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,422 Winston, I'm glad you're here. We need to talk. 46 00:01:58,466 --> 00:01:59,510 Yeah. Daisy said I was pretty good. 47 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,425 You hear that? Pretty good! 48 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:02,513 This is important. 49 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,385 And I didn't even use my hands. 50 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,516 You didn't use your hands? 51 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,822 Well, just I did a lot of side stuff. 52 00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:07,953 Okay, Winston, you're killing me. 53 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,477 I really need to talk to you, 54 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,218 and now after hearing that, I can barely look at you. 55 00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:13,176 Well, I got my mojo back, baby! 56 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,352 I'm the Mojo Man! 57 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,789 Mojo Man, Mojo Man. I like the sound of that. 58 00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,226 Yeah, we're not gonna be getting to my thing, are we? 59 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,271 [whispers]: Mo-Mo-Mojo Man. 60 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,185 I got to tell Sam. 61 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:23,839 I can't tell Sam! 62 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,188 I didn't even do anything wrong! 63 00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:26,276 Nick kissed me! 64 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,409 I didn't even kiss him back! 65 00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,106 Okay, fine! I kissed him back! 66 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,281 Is that what you want me to say? 67 00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:32,630 I literally haven't said a word 68 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,415 for, like, over an hour.[groans] 69 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:35,590 And now he won't even talk to me, 70 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,113 'cause I saw him this morning 71 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,115 and he just panic moonwalked away from me. 72 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,203 He what?He does that sometimes. 73 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,424 Man. Terrorism. 74 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,385 And then... ha! 75 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,344 Nick just... He just... 76 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,258 Kisses you. 77 00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:52,607 Stupid Nick Miller. [grunts] 78 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:53,608 How was it? Was it...? 79 00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:55,218 I was like Scarlett O'Hara 80 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,220 in my freaking curtain dress... 81 00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,352 How did he do it? 82 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,267 He just, like, grabbed me.Uh-huh. 83 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,269 And he just took me.Oh, yeah. 84 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,618 I mean, he was a man and I was a woman. 85 00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:06,447 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.It was firm, but tender. 86 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:07,752 Oh, damn. Yeah, I mean, 87 00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,450 I saw thorough space and time for a minute, 88 00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,929 but that's not the point. 89 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:12,366 Oh, man! 90 00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,367 Are you okay? 91 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,412 I miss sex! 92 00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:18,154 I've been on dates set up by my mother for the past month. 93 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,851 Mm.I mean, what are you gonna do? 94 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,505 [groans]I mean, do you... 95 00:03:21,549 --> 00:03:22,506 like Nick? 96 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,378 Ah! Bah! 97 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:25,466 Mm-hmm. [laughs] 98 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,250 Nah! Neh? 99 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:28,686 [giggles]: Nick? 100 00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,731 [laughs] 101 00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:31,298 No. 102 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:32,864 [chuckles] 103 00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:34,344 I don't like Nick. 104 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,476 Mm-hmm.I like Sam, 'cause 105 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,434 Sam's the kind of guy who fixes things 106 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:38,696 that you didn't even know were broken. 107 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,394 And Nick is the type of guy 108 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:44,441 who breaks things... that are... 109 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,442 He breaks things! 110 00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,488 Look at that.It's for my grandma. 111 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,141 Wow, that's... oh, no. 112 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,491 No, no, no, no, no, no.What are you-- Nick! 113 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,449 No, let me just...Nick, Nick, what are you...? 114 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,276 Okay, here, it's fine. No! 115 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,322 Nick, what are you...? 116 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:58,368 I think those belong back on it. 117 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,631 He is not getting in the way of me and Sam. 118 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,459 He is not ruining this. 119 00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,069 Mm. So mad at him. 120 00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,462 I can't even be around him. 121 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:06,420 Can I just spend the day with you? 122 00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,160 Oh. 123 00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:10,162 Well, um... 124 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:14,341 Okay, I didn't tell you this before, actually, but, uh... 125 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,385 SCHMIDT: Cece is going to 126 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,213 an Indian marriage convention today 127 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,910 to find herself a brown husband. 128 00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,216 Now, little does she know 129 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,479 that I have signed up for the same convention. 130 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,438 Gentlemen, there is nothing that says 131 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,396 white men need not apply. 132 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,006 You look like the fortune teller in Big. 133 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,356 Wait a second, is it in the loft? 134 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,488 Yes, Nick. 135 00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,664 The West Coast's premiere Indian singles event, 136 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:36,232 where 300 eligible Rajput Indians get together 137 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,408 to see if they should get arranged-married to each other, 138 00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:39,757 is in our loft. 139 00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,368 So if it's not, then I'm coming with. 140 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,239 I'm in, Schmidty. You finally got company. 141 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,502 I'm coming. Let's do it.The Mojo Man is in, too. 142 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:46,938 Mojo Man, Mojo Man. 143 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,375 Okay, neither of you are coming. 144 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,028 I've been studying up for a full week. 145 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,508 I can actually speak conversational Hindi. 146 00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,728 If that conversation is: "Hello." "Hello." 147 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,338 "Samosa?" "Yes, please, Samosa." 148 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,122 "More towels?" "Do you know where 149 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,341 the white person's toilet is?" 150 00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,690 After that, it gets very confusing. 151 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,170 Can you drive in that dress? 152 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:02,693 You're right, I can't. 153 00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:04,608 All right, you're driving. Let's go. Yeah! 154 00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,572 Hi, I'm-I'm checking in. 155 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,008 My name's Cecilia Parikh. 156 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,401 This is my best friend. 157 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:16,141 She's just, she's just here to watch. 158 00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:17,360 All must participate. 159 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,797 We've had a lot of trouble with watchers. 160 00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,411 You participate or you go home. 161 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,502 All right, you know what? What the hell. 162 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:30,460 You're going to have to fill out a questionnaire. 163 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:32,201 Information, education, resume. 164 00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:33,245 [chuckles] 165 00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:34,421 Done. 166 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,423 Thank you. 167 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:41,253 [gasps] What the hell are you guys doing here? 168 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:43,038 You look like a character from The Love Guru. 169 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,431 Aw, thank you. 170 00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:45,649 Hello. 171 00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:46,737 I'd like to check in 172 00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,435 with my two friends here. 173 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,045 Look, we are not Indian, but you cannot turn us away, 174 00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,613 because I read the Web site vigorously, kumari. 175 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:53,831 Oh, God. That means "miss." 176 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,485 My friend right there? 177 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,487 Yeah, he's a vakeel. That means "lawyer." 178 00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,619 I dropped out of ka-heelschool. 179 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,142 SCHMIDT: It's vakeel,man. 180 00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,492 What are you doing here? 181 00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,625 Oh, no. I just-- uh, yeah... 182 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,583 Oh! 183 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,237 Nick, you're embarrassing me. 184 00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:11,240 WINSTON: Nick, what are you doing? 185 00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:16,637 WINSTON: Nick, Nick, Nick. 186 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,073 N-N-N-Nick, what are you doing? 187 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,814 Stop moonwalking, man.[groans] 188 00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,598 Man, you have been weird all morning. 189 00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,035 Hey, look, I kissed Jess. 190 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,213 Say what you're gonna say. 191 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,433 [groans]: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! 192 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,479 Whoo! 193 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,437 I thought that's what you were gonna say. 194 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,482 I don't want a new roommate. 195 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,440 Look, don't... She's not moving out. 196 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,050 I'm not talking about her. Hell no, not her! 197 00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:40,487 I'm talking about you. 198 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,662 When this thing blows up in your face-- 199 00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,141 and it will blow up in your face, Nick-- 200 00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,273 you're the one moving out. 201 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,667 You think I like living with you? 202 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,669 You have centipedes living under your bed! 203 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:51,062 Those weren't centipedes.You've named your testicles, 204 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,716 and they're both named Sharon. Yeah, so what? 205 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,675 I can't believe you kissed Jess! Man, what were you thinking? 206 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:56,503 Look, man, I wasn't thinking anything. 207 00:06:58,156 --> 00:07:00,071 Nick, just apologize and make it right, all right? 208 00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:04,641 All right. That's what I'm gonna do. 209 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,602 [groans]: My Sharon! 210 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,516 Get! Just...Get...? 211 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,952 Get over here now. 212 00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,649 Wait. What? 213 00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,695 You told me you had moved on. 214 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:17,349 Only people who haven't moved on say things like that. 215 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:19,090 I'm a squirrel. You're my nut. 216 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,571 Winter's coming. I'm gonna store you in my cheek, girl. 217 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:23,051 Please leave. 218 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:26,358 You and I not being together does not make sense to me. 219 00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,578 I miss your body 220 00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,058 and the things I used to do to it. 221 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,494 Schmidt.I'm talking about sex. 222 00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:35,542 Today is about me finding someone within my own culture 223 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,718 that I can build my life with. 224 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,676 It's about more than sex. 225 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,593 Our sex was about more than sex. 226 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,508 It was about history and memory 227 00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,554 and thousands of years of colonial suffering 228 00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:50,731 all being released in one moment of pure ecstasy. 229 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,560 Then why did the sex always end with you yelling, 230 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,692 "Blammo, that happened"? 231 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,520 Blammo. 232 00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,697 Thank you. 233 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:02,960 Hey. 234 00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,440 Oh, you can walk normally now, I see. 235 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,224 I'm sorry I kissed you. 236 00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,009 Well, oh, wow. 237 00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:09,619 That was unexpected. 238 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,012 Thanks, Nick. 239 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,318 You're welcome. It was a mistake.I feel better. 240 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:14,711 'Cause, yeah, I was feeling awkward. Yeah, good. 241 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:15,756 [chuckles]: Right. 242 00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:17,714 You were acting a little bit weird, 243 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,542 but honestly, for me, it was, like, a nothing kiss. 244 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,631 You know, it was like kissing a cousin. 245 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:22,763 It was so nonsexual and nothing. 246 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:26,027 Well... I think it meant something. 247 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,029 You know, to you, 'cause you kissed me. 248 00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,770 Mm-mm. 249 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:32,729 I think you can admit it meant something to you, Nick. 250 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,688 Oh, no, I-I'm telling you, it meant nothing to me. 251 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:35,776 I think it did. No, no. 252 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,560 I do things I don't mean all the time. 253 00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,214 Like this. You see this? Bottle of water. 254 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:40,563 Why did I do that? I don't know. 255 00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,260 It doesn't mean anything. 256 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,785 I think you can admit that it meant something to you. 257 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:46,917 Hey, Jessica, it didn't. Hmm. 258 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,616 It was a drinking game, and I was finishing the game. 259 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,008 Yeah, but it happened after the game 260 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,619 when it meant something. 261 00:08:52,662 --> 00:08:55,447 Oh, so it meant something to you? What? 262 00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,362 It meant something to you.No, don't... 263 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,364 If you think some stupid, terrible kiss... 264 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:00,844 You're thinking about it right now! No! 265 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,455 I'm calling Sam and...Oh, you're calling Sam right now? 266 00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:04,935 He's gonna come here and pick me up, 267 00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,720 and, uh, we're leaving.Oh, you are? 268 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,636 Why are you running away? Because it meant something? 269 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,812 We're not going anywhere. 270 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,597 Meant nothing, Nick! 271 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,686 HOST [over speaker]: Please look at the numbers on your name tags 272 00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,993 and go to the table with the corresponding numbers. 273 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,690 These are your groupings. 274 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,953 People with similar resumes and education backgrounds 275 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,607 have been grouped together. 276 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:27,610 34, 34, thir... 277 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:28,611 Table 34! 278 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,700 We're at the same table! 279 00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,615 So this is rock bottom.I mean, call me crazy, 280 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,704 but I think we're all getting married tonight. 281 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,837 Yeah, um...Nick: The money table right here, Table 34! 282 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,665 Hi, excuse me, I think that there's been 283 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,754 just a little bit of a mistake with the tables. 284 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,756 Over 30, no advanced degrees, 285 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,671 part-time employment: Table 34. 286 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,629 No, see, actually, I'm-I'm a professional model. 287 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,413 I'm not famous or anything, 288 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,677 but I was in Lil Wayne's last video. 289 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,723 I was the girl he was throwing strawberries at in slow motion. 290 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,508 [chuckles] 291 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,510 Definitely Table 34. 292 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,644 [sighs] 293 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,124 Excuse me? 294 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,691 Uh, I didn't get assigned a table. 295 00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,823 Now, I know exactly what this is about... 296 00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:09,696 But I did assign you a seat. 297 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:12,307 This one. Lap number one. 298 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:15,658 Okay, so this is not a racial thing? 299 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:16,790 Not yet, it isn't. 300 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,661 Ah. 301 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,228 I see what's happening here. 302 00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:22,012 You're feeling my mojo. 303 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:25,712 You look like a jumpy cat, and I like that. 304 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,671 Ooh, I like that. 305 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:29,672 [gasps] 306 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:32,066 Like oversized blueberries. 307 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,067 [clicks tongue] 308 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,155 [sighs] 309 00:10:34,198 --> 00:10:36,113 Mojo off. Mojo off. 310 00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,681 Schmidt, Table Seven, Table Seven. 311 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:41,292 What are you doing? You're at Table Seven, too?Hmm? I'm at Table Seven. 312 00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,381 [sighs] What? 313 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,862 Well, you should feel complimented. I feel slightly insulted. 314 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,211 What? No offense. 315 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:49,170 A lot of offense taken.Well, I'm just saying... 316 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,693 A lot.Jess! 317 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:51,825 Hi! Hi. 318 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,696 How are you?Um, okay. 319 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,742 Yeah, I checked in. Uh, they gave me my table. 320 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,700 Okay.This is a weird date. 321 00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,876 I always thought we'd go bowling before we went 322 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,182 to an Indian marriage convention. 323 00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:02,879 What table are you at?Uh, Table One, I think. 324 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:05,795 Table One?! It's almost like you save lives or something. 325 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,144 Oh, wait, you do. 326 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,887 Let's start the icebreakers. 327 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,759 This exercise shows how physically compatible 328 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,151 two people can be. 329 00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:28,775 Ow! My hand! 330 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:29,776 What? 331 00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,342 Stupid man. 332 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:32,909 Nice. 333 00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,606 Yeah. Ready? 334 00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:35,825 Three, two, ow. 335 00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,784 Ow! No, no. Let's... Up? 336 00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,786 No, you go down.All right. I go down? 337 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,875 Kind of just got to get in a little closer. 338 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:42,789 JESS: Okay, I'm trying. 339 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,834 Seriously. 340 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,666 Hey, dummy. 341 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,755 Stop pointing your finger at me. That's so annoying. 342 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,626 Why are you drinking my beer? 343 00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:56,977 You point that finger at me one more time, I'm... 344 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,805 Why don't you just admit that that kiss meant something to you? 345 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,763 No, no!I could tell it meant something, so admit it 346 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:01,851 or I'll do this all day. I'll do it all day. 347 00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,027 HOST: Next challenge: make a table 348 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:07,161 out of nothing but newspaper and tape. 349 00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:09,772 Women look to your left, men to the right. 350 00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,121 These are your partners. 351 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,819 Oh, you got to be kidding me. 352 00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,646 First table that can hold a phone book wins. 353 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,257 All right, so we have to make a table. 354 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,432 Okay. 355 00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:18,825 Give me the tape. No. 356 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,786 I'll tell you what's not made out of newspaper, 357 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,006 that tight little ass of yours. 358 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,399 Jess, you liked kissing me! It's fine to say that. 359 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,575 No, I didn't.I'm not on my knee asking you 360 00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,055 to marry me; it was a nice kiss. 361 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,797 You were like a dog and my mouth 362 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,843 was like a bowl full of dog... milk! 363 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,627 It was like a damn fairy tale, that kiss! 364 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,368 It was the best kiss of your life. 365 00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,848 Are you serious, Nick?And you have to take 366 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,850 a little responsibility, tarting around in that 367 00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,853 little soft pink robe, not expecting to get kissed.Tarting around? 368 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,029 I'm a man, Jessica! 369 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,205 What?Pink robes are my catnip. 370 00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,989 And we have a winning couple! 371 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,730 BOTH: We are not a couple! 372 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,037 We're not a couple.And this is a very bad table. 373 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,647 Terrible table.And stop clapping, everybody. 374 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,649 This is awful.Look. It won't hold anything. 375 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:02,825 Be prepared to laugh! 376 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,696 No, I mean, this is, like... 377 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,002 NICK: I got it, I got it. 378 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,830 Here, put it down. Just-- okay. 379 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,659 Very weak table. 380 00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:11,791 Break! 381 00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,882 It's a strong table. 382 00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:18,058 Strong table, strong couple. 383 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:18,885 Come on. Jump up, yeah. 384 00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,625 Jump up! Jump up! Jump up! 385 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:21,844 Whoa! Come on.Wow. 386 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,759 Wow, yeah. It's real, man. Come on. 387 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,543 That's an impressive table! 388 00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:32,028 Congratulations on winning the table-building competition, baby. 389 00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,552 Yeah, it didn't mean anything, so... I didn't think it meant anything. 390 00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,076 Yeah, no, just-- Nick just drives me crazy. 391 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,861 It's like-- you know?Yeah, I mean, I never... 392 00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,863 Well, yeah, that's just... That's what I was saying. 393 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,082 Is there something I should know here? 394 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,779 No. 'Cause...[bell dings] 395 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,780 HOST: Men, switch seats! 396 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:45,955 No. Sam, stop. 397 00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,914 'Cause... No, I want to talk to you. 398 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,916 Sam, I...Do you like field hockey? 399 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,135 I... Yeah. Yeah. 400 00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:56,879 Hi! Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie. Pass. 401 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,794 So, when did you decide to become a model? 402 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,101 Oh. Didn't really think about it at all. 403 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,059 Someone just said they'd pay me for being pretty, so... 404 00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,061 I like your hat.Shh. 405 00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:07,934 It's my favorite color.Shh... 406 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,284 Cece: Why think when you can act? 407 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,068 I didn't say anything.Shut up, shut up, shut up. 408 00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:14,114 So how many children do you want? 409 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:17,378 Well, I have to start soon, so I guess I'll just jump right in. 410 00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:19,902 So, do you think through any of your decisions 411 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:21,904 or do you always just do whatever you want? 412 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,906 Hey! M. Night Shyamalan. 413 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,908 I got a twist ending for you: shut up. 414 00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:28,128 What do you want, Table Seven?Schmidt, just talk to your girl. 415 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,738 Hi!You better watch it, buddy. 416 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:31,392 'Cause I will, I will Cal-cut-a-bitch up in here. 417 00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:33,916 I will Cal-cut-a-bitch.Schmidt! 418 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,613 Don't worry, Ben Affleck. I'm not desperate. 419 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:36,919 I don't date below Table Six.[bell dings] 420 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:39,095 HOST: Time's up. Switch places. 421 00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,880 Sam... 422 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:44,013 That was not nice. He crossed the line. 423 00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,015 Schmidt, you said you would leave me alone. 424 00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:47,364 You said you would leave...He crossed a line. 425 00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:48,452 You said you would leave me alone. 426 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,022 [chuckles] 427 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:55,068 Funny seeing you here. 428 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,113 Hey. 429 00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,723 You have to go. 430 00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,377 Yeah, you have to go over there. 431 00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,118 Okay. Bye-bye. 432 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,946 Go now. Hi. 433 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,123 Um, Sam, I do have something to tell you. 434 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,997 You know why we're at Table 34? 435 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,652 'Cause we're both bad at life, but we have model good looks. 436 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:17,046 It's 'cause we don't think things through. 437 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:19,657 You didn't think it through when you kissed Jess. 438 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:23,183 She told me. It's like we just make these impulsive decisions, 439 00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:26,055 and all we end up doing is hurting other people. 440 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,190 I can't believe this. 441 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:30,973 No. No, Sam... 442 00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,585 Sam? Wait. 443 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:35,630 Sam, wait. 444 00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:37,066 I'm really sorry. 445 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,676 I said I wanted to commit to this. 446 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,982 I thought you understood what that meant. 447 00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,636 JESS: I do. I did. 448 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,551 Hey, hey. Sam, listen. 449 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,205 JESS: What?Sam, hear me out. 450 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:46,641 I kissed her, okay? 451 00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:47,990 She didn't kiss me. 452 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,340 It didn't mean anything to her. 453 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,212 Thank you. 454 00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:52,995 [grunts] 455 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,692 Oh, my God! 456 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:57,217 [groans]I'm sorry, Nick. It's the training. 457 00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,696 He's in such terrible shape! You could've killed him. 458 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:00,611 [high-pitched]: I'm gonna kick your ass, man. 459 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:01,699 SAM: Jess, it may not have meant something 460 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,092 to you, but it meant something to me. 461 00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:06,182 Is there another doctor in the house?! 462 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,228 With this crowd, I'm sure. 463 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,752 I'm done. So... 464 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,494 Good-bye, Jess. 465 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,539 No. Sam. 466 00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:20,022 Ice it, 24 hours. 467 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,198 And keep it elevated. 468 00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,115 He even exits cool.Oh, God. 469 00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:31,164 Anu? I got something for you. 470 00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,035 Now, this is Freddy. 471 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,255 As you can see, he has the exact 472 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,083 same build as me, all right? 473 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:40,086 And he is totally available. Ain't that right, Freddy? 474 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:43,045 That is what I call an arranged bang. 475 00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,655 [makes explosion noise] 476 00:16:44,699 --> 00:16:48,268 Freddy, are you scared of being confined in small spaces? 477 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:54,926 Oh, you'll do just fine. 478 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:58,060 Now, just remember, wherever you are, 479 00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,236 the Mojo Man is there. 480 00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,071 [sighs] 481 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,117 Damn it, Schmidt. 482 00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:15,860 I'm taking this. 483 00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:19,081 Excuse me. Excuse me! Hold up! 484 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,170 You know, when I came here today, 485 00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:23,129 I thought India was a pretty cool country. 486 00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:24,869 You guys are obviously smart. 487 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:27,263 You l-looked at the roof of a bus and you said, 488 00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,787 "That's not just a roof, that's more seating." 489 00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:33,095 Kal Penn, he's a genius. Thank you for him. 490 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,097 But what I didn't know 491 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,708 is that you're a country full of blind idiots. 492 00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:38,927 Oh, God.Because in your midst 493 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,321 walks a brown angel. 494 00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,410 That woman. Right there. 495 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,543 I may be an idiot, 496 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:49,155 but I'm smart enough to know what I lost. 497 00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,245 You people could've had it all. 498 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:55,117 And you shoved her over there at a table with Nick. 499 00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,903 Get your crap together, India. 500 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,905 Schmidt... 501 00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,951 out! 502 00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:04,996 [crowd murmuring] 503 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:09,349 Hello. I didn't see you over here. 504 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,307 I would love to... 505 00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:12,352 [men murmuring] 506 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,918 MAN: Sorry I didn't see you earlier. 507 00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,224 SCHMIDT: Okay. They're all-- okay. 508 00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,139 You don't all have to run over there at once. 509 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,836 I mean, she... she's not that great, you guys. 510 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,361 I mean, she's kind of old. 511 00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,319 You should see her areolas-- one's like a helicopter pad, 512 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,147 the other one's like a, you know, like... 513 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,714 like a tick bite. 514 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,846 It's freaky. Very disorienting. 515 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,326 ♪ It feels like a perfect night ♪ 516 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,328 NICK: Is this making you feel better at all? 517 00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:35,288 ♪ At midnight, to fall in love with strangers ♪ 518 00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:38,334 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah 519 00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:41,337 ♪ Yeah, we're happy, free, confused ♪ 520 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,339 ♪ And lonely at the same time 521 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:46,299 I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone! 522 00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,215 ♪ Oh, yeah How's that? 523 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:52,218 You know when you get dumped and you're, like, racking your brain 524 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,394 for what was it that I did wrong? 525 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,178 Well, this is a really unique situation 526 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,399 in that I don't have to do that. 527 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,401 Well, what happened?[music stops] 528 00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:04,360 I'm sorry. I know what-- I know that it's my fault. 529 00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:05,622 I didn't mean it like... 530 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:08,451 [sighs] Jess, can I say something 531 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:11,193 that'll potentially not help this situation?No. 532 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:14,283 I've never been a home-wrecker. 533 00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,416 And I liked it. 534 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:19,419 I mean, Sam was threatened by me. 535 00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:20,420 [chuckles] 536 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,726 I mean, I see that as a victory. 537 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:28,819 But in-in more important... 538 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:33,215 uh, ways, a huge, huge, devastating loss. 539 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,695 For you. 540 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,263 Should I call Cece? 541 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,394 This feels like Cece territory. 542 00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:39,613 This isn't Nick territory. 543 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:40,831 This is, uh... 544 00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:45,445 Look, Jess... 545 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,362 I'm sorry, okay, 546 00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,233 that I kissed you. 547 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:52,365 But I shouldn't have done it, 548 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,280 because it was obviously a mistake, 549 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,238 and now you're crying and... 550 00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,893 I won't do it again. 551 00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:02,462 Well... [sniffles] 552 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:06,727 maybe it was a little bit broken to begin with. 553 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,511 What happened?He just... 554 00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:11,862 He always wanted to fist bump in the morning. 555 00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:15,257 And you didn't like that?I hated it. What are... what... 556 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,303 I feel like you're forgiving me.No. 557 00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:19,696 I felt like before I said that you were though.Nope. Nope. 558 00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,133 Now you remembered you're still mad at me. No? Okay. 559 00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,092 All right, good night, Nick. Night.Okay, good night, Jess. 560 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:25,180 Hey, Jess. 561 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:27,748 Too soon? 562 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:29,445 Yeah, too soon! 563 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:32,274 Well, hey, good night. And I'm sorry about everything. 564 00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:33,449 Okay. 565 00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,328 Okay, yeah. [chuckles] 566 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:43,459 That was...Yeah. That was... 567 00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:44,895 a little bit weird.So weird. 568 00:20:44,939 --> 00:20:46,114 Let's not ever do that again. 569 00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,724 Yeah. Do it again. Okay. 570 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,770 Good night. Night, Miller! Good night. 571 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,554 Good night, Sergeant. 572 00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:56,690 I'm glad everything's back to normal around here. 573 00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:02,173 Thank you for what you said up there. 574 00:21:02,217 --> 00:21:04,088 You know, I got a lot of phone numbers. Good. 575 00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:06,308 I think I'm gonna go on a lot of dates. 576 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,310 I think that's a great thing. Good. Yeah. 577 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,530 The plan hasn't changed; I am still marrying an Indian guy. 578 00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:12,488 No, yeah, that's fine. Okay? 579 00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:15,404 But you went home with a Jew in a turban, so I'm just saying. 580 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:17,145 Just take this off. Come on. Let's go. 581 00:21:17,188 --> 00:21:18,407 [sighs] 582 00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:21,192 God, I have missed this. 583 00:21:21,236 --> 00:21:22,455 [moaning] 584 00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:24,935 Turban on? Turban off? 585 00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:27,024 I'm gonna hate myself for saying this, but... 586 00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:28,591 turban on. 587 00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:30,637 Turban on it is. 588 00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:36,338 Taking that magic carpet ride. 589 00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,166 Yeah? No? Shut up! Whoo! 38972

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.