All language subtitles for Local.Hero.1983.720p.BluRay.X264-AMIABLE-HI

COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS

RADIO ANNOUNCER: You're with KNOX,
the sound of Texas South

and overnight,
Texas South had one half inch of rain.

And today, an 80% chance of rain
in greater Houston.

The downtown temperature right now
is 70 degrees

with an afternoon high due of 85.

The air is good today,
with the pollen level at 200

and lead level a low 120.

Sulphur is reported negligible.

Good day air-wise, but traffic-wise,
things are gumming up!

Downtown is still movin',
but out there on the North Loop at Exit 49

there is heavy, heavy inbound stuff

and on Southbound 9,
we have a highway patrol advisory

on a car-and-truck wreck, a stack-up
leading back to lower downtown already.

The good news is that Hurricane Eleanor
has decided to move off east now

maybe to avoid all that traffic

and the high-wind advisory of last night
has been lifted.

Also liftin' is the Dow Jones.

At 10:00am EST, up five at 800
on last night's New York close.

More news and numbers from me, Bob Merry,
at 11 here on KNOX

the sound of Texas South,
brought to you today

by Commercial Wall Coverings,
"The stuff that sticks."

Now, back to work and keep movin', Texas!

DISCO MUSIC PLAYS

WIND HOWLS

MAN ON TV:
Nature guards her treasures, jealously.

Just a decade ago,
these fields were beyond our reach.

We didn't have the technology.

Today, a Knox engineer will tell you
that he might need a little time

but he'll get the oil.

He knows that a little time
is all that we have left.

DISCO MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC STOPS

MAN SNORES

HE SNORES

MAN WHISPERS:
Mr Happer.

Mr Happer, sir?

MUG CLATTERS

HE WHISPERS:
The main business today, gentlemen

is the report on the progress
of our acquisition of Scotland

that is, part of Scotland
for the refinery and storage base.

I've got a few things to show you.

You know we have a two-year lead
in North Atlantic development.

Now, we can double this,
if we could streamline

- the processing end of things onshore.
- HAPPER SNORES

The pipeline is well on its way
from all three production areas

and we have a site for the terminal
right here.

- What about the site acquisition?
- MAN WHISPERS: It's critical.

The survey teams have found
just about the only suitable bay

on the entire coast.

Total investment is 600 million,
spread over the next three fiscals.

We've got to buy Ferness Bay for $60 million.

HE WHISPERS: And we're dealing with
close and stable allies of the US

not to mention the links, historically,
between Knox Oil and Scotland.

- We're not in a Third World situation here.
- HAPPER SNORES

I think we should get a negotiator
on the site right away.

Do I really have to go there?
I'm more of a telex man.

I could fix the deals in an afternoon
over the phones

like with Salinas last year.

It's not like Mexico, Maclntyre.

We're dealing with people like ourselves.

You're a Scot.
You'll be dealing with your own people.

That's why you're going.
You won't be dealing with a bunch of Indians.

Cal, will ya look after Africa for me
while I'm gone?

CAL, ON PHONE:
All of Africa?

No, just the West Coast deals.
Yeah, Sarah's got the files.

We've got the Congo development minister's
tit in the wringer

so squeeze another 5%
of the crude oil gross out of him

I think we can close this deal.

- What about the tanker franchise?
- I want franchises in all three territories.

I think a couple of telexes should do it

and put a five-day deadline on the offer.

- You got it.
- Wanna eat?

Eat. You wanna eat?

Cal, I got a confession to make.

I'm not Scottish.

Man, oh, man.

- Think I should tell Fountain?
- Hell no.

Don't spoil the fun. Take the trip.

My folks changed their name
when they got off the boat from Hungary.

- They thought that "Maclntyre" was American.
- CAL CHUCKLES

Jesus, Mac.

You're not a Scotsman, you're not a Texan.

MAC:
Can't even pronounce my last name.

Comets are important.

They could be
the key to the universe, maybe.

And what are you gonna call this comet,
if and when you find it, Happer?

"The Happer Comet", or "Happer's Comet"

- or "Comet Happer".
- HE LAUGHS

I thought it might be!

The whole world'll weep with gratitude,
Happer, when the big day comes.

"Mr Happer's got his comet. Hooray!"

What an empty, hollow, wasteful activity.

You're chasing comets around the sky.

Is your life around you so complete?

What about a wife, children, a family?
Are these human goals too simple for you?

Get out, Moritz. That's enough for today.
I've got some meetings soon.

Go on, out. Out, out, out, out, out!

Yes, sir, Mr Happer.

Uh... it seemed to go pretty well today,
didn't it, sir?

It was OK, Moritz.

In fact,
I think we could build up the sessions.

Maybe two or three a week, at the same fee,
of course.

We're at a crucial stage.

Check with Mrs Wyatt on the way out.
Fix a half hour for Friday.

Maybe I could give you
an abusive phone call some night.

Any time that's inconvenient.

The surprise element
might do a lot of good... I mean, harm.

Out!

Moritz!

Did you mean all that stuff
about me being a flop?

Oh, God, no, Mr Happer.

It's... it's basic therapy technique.

Sometimes I get carried away.

You think if I'd married
that things would be different?

Oh, by no means, Mr Happer.

The modern world offers many alternatives
to the security of the family unit.

Look at me, Mr Happer.

I'm a single man.

Get out.

Mrs Wyatt, who we sending to Scotland
on that refinery deal?

MRS WYATT ON INTERCOM:
Mr Crabbe has selected Mr Maclntyre

of Acquisitions for the trip, sir.

His Scottish connection
seemed to fit the bill

and he handled Mexico pretty well last year.

I remember Mexico.
Tell him I want to see him before he leaves.

Cal. Don't get up,
but I've just been called upstairs.

I mean, I'm gonna go upstairs
and meet the man.

I mean, this could be it. Papa Big-Doings.

When was the last time you know anybody
was called upstairs, huh?

I get to ride the express elevator, too.

I have the Prime Minister for you now,
Mr Happer. Hold on.

Mr Happer, ma'am.

Oh! Why, yes, I did.

I tried it with the raspberries.
It was delicious.

Although I only had frozen.

Oh...
SHE CHUCKLES

Yes, ma'am.

Here's Mr Happer now. Goodbye.

INTERCOM BUZZES

I'm sorry, Your Excellency,
but Mr Happer can't talk right now.

If you could ask His Serene Highness
to call back in half an hour.

MAC CLEARS THROAT

Maclntyre, sir. Pleased to meet you.

- You're going to Scotland, Maclntyre.
- Yes, sir.

Be like going home.

Like we're going home, eh?

The founder of all this was a Scot.
Alexander Knox.

No, that's not him. That's my father.

He bought out Knox in 1912.

Would've been handy if he'd thought to change
the company name at the same time, but...

Well, anyway, you're going to Scotland.

The Old Country, eh, Maclntyre?

HE LAUGHS

Yes, sir.

Virgo is well up this time of the year.

Sir?

I'm talking about the sky, Maclntyre.

The constellation of Virgo

is very prominent in the sky right now
in Scotland.

I want you to keep an eye on Virgo for me.
Will you do that?

Oh, sure.

DEVICE WHIRS

This is Virgo.

Find the Great Bear, the Big Dipper,
and you can't go wrong. Get to know it.

I'm expecting something special from there.

Keep your eyes skinned. I want reports.

- Reports, sir?
- Anything unusual in Virgo.

It might be a new star,
or even a shooting star.

I want to know about it. I want reports.

Anything out of the ordinary,
you telephone me, night or day.

This is my private number.

You'll be travelling six hours
east from here. You'll be ahead.

Think of that.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

- I have a general idea.
- Well, you'll know when you see it.

And you telephone me, OK?

You do know what a comet is, don't you?

I feel sure I'd know one if I saw one.

- And you'd phone me?
- I'd phone you, sir.

Good man.

You got the picture.

The northern sky is a beautiful thing,
Maclntosh.

You're gonna have a wonderful trip.

Thank you, sir.

PHONE RINGS

Yes?

Hi, Rita.

Who is this?

Mac.

Yes?

Yeah, I'm gonna be leaving the country
for a while, just a short time

and I was wondering if you'd like
to celebrate this evening

with a drink or something?

Uh...

No.

No, it's not, it's Mac. She knows.

No, Mac. M-A-C.

MUSIC: "The Way It Always Starts"
by Mark Knopfler

Hello, there.

How are ya?

Oh, good. Yeah, I know, I'm terrific, too.

Sure, no, I won't keep you,
it's just that I'm leaving town for a while

and you still have some stuff here.

Well, some mail.

Three letters.
I'm afraid they've been here for a while.

Well, "What else?"
There's just your cigarette lighter.

The English one.
I thought you might miss that.

No, it's not important
if you can live without it.

Well, there is something else.
Remember my camera case?

The one you kept your make-up in.
I want it back.

No, that's not why I called.
I just thought that...

No, that's not true.

Look, Trudy, I don't wanna argue with you,
alright?

Now, look, I'm not calling you a thief.

Look, maybe you are a kleptomaniac.
You think you ought to see a doctor?

You're the pervert.

Oh, look, just piss up a rope, alright?

PILOT:
With that 120 knot tail-wind

our speed over the ocean
is 740 miles per hour.

If you'd like to adjust your watches

the time in Britain right now
is 11:47 exactly.

And our estimated arrival
is at 1:45 local time.

Shortly before our descent,
I'll give you more information

on the weather in Britain. Thank you.

AIRPORT TANNOY DINGS

VOICE OVER TANNOY: British Caledonian
passengers arriving in London

- connecting with services to Brussels...
- TANNOY FADES

...please proceed now to the check-in desk
at Gate 4. Thank you.

Excuse me, I'm Maclntyre.
Knox Oil and Gas, Houston.

- Are you...
- Oldsen, yes.

Knox Oil and Gas, Aberdeen.

I didn't want to make a fuss.
I know how delicate this business is.

- Do you have a car?
- Sure.

- And you'll take me to the laboratory?
- Yes.

Well, let's go.

- Can I give you a wee hand?
- Yeah.

ANNOUNCEMENT:
Passengers travelling on BA-4726 to Orkney

this flight is now available for check-in.

GEDDES: Could you close that door?
This is a controlled environment, you know.

Um, Dr Geddes, Mr Watt, this is...

Maclntyre, Houston. Glad to know you.

Welcome to our little world, Maclntyre.

So, you've come to see the bay, eh?

Oh, Marina,
this is Mr Maclntyre and Mr, eh...

Oldsen. Danny. Hello.

The sensor on 421's gone haywire.
I'd better replace it.

Ah.

NORMAN:
She's got a magnificent pair of lungs.

GEDDES:
Oh, yes.

A great asset.

Five degrees in Oceanography
and a very talented programmer.

I'll get rid of her when she surfaces.
She's not in on this Ferness thing yet.

Actually, she's better in the field.

Here's the dud.

Um, you can take some lunch now, Marina.

Sure.

Well, I'll show you the site models now,
shall I?

Aye, let you see what
you're in the market for, Maclntyre.

Oh, this is a bay in a million.

It's the only one on the West Coast
where the silt's deep enough

to take the foundation piles.

And this harbour here is a natural
for blasting in the underground tanks.

Here.

Hold Ferness a minute, would you?

Plus, you see, the debris rock
will be used to fill in the other beach

for the refinery.

Of course, with 12 more miles
of coastline to play with

this place could become the
petrochemical capital of the free world.

Six months blasting, two years construction.

It'll last 1,000 years.

Forever.

It'll even survive the next Ice Age.

We've proved that, you know.
We've proved it.

We've simulated 10,000 years

of intense glaciation over the whole bay.

Of course, we don't need that Ice Age.

We can divert the Gulf Stream
and unfreeze the Arctic Circle.

He proved it right here.
But they won't listen.

They want to freeze.

Thank you, Norman,
but there was no need to bring that up.

Will Marina be back?

GEDDES:
Eh, no, not for a while yet.

We should, um... head north soon.

- We'll see when we get back, maybe.
- No. Take it.

Keep it.

Dream large.

Dream large.

What you thinking about?

Girls.

Naked girls.

Me too.

In a fish tank.

Yeah.

THUD
- TYRES SCREECH

What's up?

I think we hit something.

It got misty all of a sudden
and I think we hit something.

OLDSEN:
Oh, shit, I hate hitting things!

MAC: It's just kind of stunned.
- Maybe a broken leg or something.

Should we put it out of its misery?

MAC:
What do you mean?

OLDSEN: Kill it.
Hit it with something hard.

MAC: You've already done that
with a two-ton automobile.

Just put it in the car.

Well, we can't drive in this stuff.

Where are we?

The last couple of road signs were in Gaelic.
It's not one of my languages.

You speak languages?

French, Italian, Spanish, Greek

Turkish, Russian, Swedish

German, Japanese, Dutch and Polish.

I have a facility with languages.

I've got some chocolate and some gum.

What have you got?

Nothing, niente.

- Nada, rien.
- OK.

OK.

MAC SIGHS

This is my car.

Porsche 930. Turbo-charged.

A good car's important.

I used to get migraine headaches
when I drove a Chevy.

A car like this won't let you down.

PAGER BEEPS

Conference time in Houston.

I'll give 'em a call tomorrow.

HE SIGHS

Good night.

Yeah.

Do you think
we could have the lights off?

OLDSEN:
Sure, sure.

BIRDSONG
- PAGER BEEPS

PAGER CONTINUES BEEPING

PAGER STOPS BEEPING

OLDSEN: Morning.
- MAC: Hello.

OLDSEN COUGHS

ENGINE ROARS

Some place, huh?

Yeah.

I think I'll call him Harry.

MAC:
No, her name's Trudy.

I'm hungry.

I'll drive.

Whole lot of scenery, though.

SEAGULLS SQUAWK

CAR HORN HONKS

HANDBRAKE CLUNKS

THEY KNOCK

MAC KNOCKS

MAN:
What is it?

Sorry to trouble you so early.

We'd like to check in
and maybe eat something.

Breakfast isn't till 8:00.

Seven in the fishing season.

It's not the fishing season.

Could we check in anyway?
We've been on the road all night.

We have an injured rabbit, also.

DOOR CLUNKS OPEN

It's never locked.

Passing through?

We might stay a few days.

Why don't you make yourselves
some toast and coffee

and we'll take care of the formalities later?
I have to go back upstairs.

Thank you.

There's some lettuce in the fridge
for the rabbit.

Nice people, huh?

Yeah. And they speak English.

Do you think they're at it up there?

No.

MIMICKING MAC:
"We have an injured rabbit also."

SHE GIGGLES

- Think it's them?
- Sure. 100% sure.

Christmas might be early this year.

So, what do you want for Christmas?

We could get that new mattress.

Hang on!

DOOR OPENS

Yeah, hi. Excuse me,
would you have an adaptor?

- I have to charge my briefcase.
- What?

It's an electric briefcase.
The lock is electric.

I have to charge it.
Would you have an adaptor?

Uh...

- Do you need it right away?
- Whenever.

W... Why don't you leave it with me
and I'll sort something out for you?

I'll just hold on to it.

- OK, fine.
- Thanks.

WOMAN GIGGLES

DOOR SHUTS
- MAN AND WOMAN LAUGH

JAUNTY ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS

- Everything OK, gents?
- Very nice, thank you.

We only do a hot lunch every other day,
so you were lucky.

We have to talk to a Mr "Urqu-hart",
an accountant.

Can you tell me where we might find him?

Indeed, yes. He has an office right
next door, to the left, on the first floor.

I know for a fact he'll be there
in about 15 minutes.

Thank you.

Delicious.

OLDSEN WITH MOUTH FULL:
Delicious.

MOTORBIKE APPROACHES

TOOLS KNOCK

MAN:
Come in!

Hello, again.

I'm Gordon Urquhart.

We tend to double up on jobs around here.
I'm a taxi driver sometimes, too.

Sit down.

What can I do for you?

I represent Knox Oil and Gas, Mr Ogghart.

Gordon.

Gordon. OK, Gordon.

And I believe that some of my people
let you know that we would be calling.

BANGING ON ROOF
- Oh, that's right. So, what's up?

BANGING ON ROOF
- Well...

We're in the way of acquiring
some real estate in the area and we...

Well, we wanted to ask for your help
in coordinating our work.

- What do you want to buy?
- BANGING ON ROOF

I don't wanna be coy with you, Gordon.
We wanna buy the whole place.

We wanna buy everything
from the cliffs to the north

through to the bay on the far side
and we wanna go about a mile inland, too.

BANGING ON ROOF
- That's all.

Well, you're talking about 15,
maybe 20 properties.

You're talking about families,
businesses, farms...

You're talking about a lot of money.

I don't think we have to go into figures
right now.

I have a breakdown on the properties.

I think it's a matter of bringing
the community together

and making a collective deal,
if you like.

Why don't you get to know the place?
Take a day or so.

I'll take things as far as I can
and I'll let you know.

How about that?

OK, Gordon,
if you think it'll take that long.

- You talking about the church, too?
- Yes.

That's gonna be tricky, the church
has very definite views about property.

- We'll leave it in your hands, OK?
- Take in the beach. Relax for a while.

- It's a beautiful place.
- And you'll work out some numbers?

I'll do my best.

Cheerio.

RHYTHMIC BANGING ON ROOF

Take it away, Andrew.

Oh, boy, are we going to be rich.

We're gonna sell this hotel.

HE HUMS A TUNE

♪ Oh, I know you ♪

HE LAUGHS

♪ Oh, Mr Maclntyre, I know you do ♪
- RHYTHMIC BANGING ON ROOF

Stella!

JAUNTY ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS

Thank you.

LEMON SQUIRTS

- Sorry.
- That's alright.

LEMON SQUIRTS

What do you make of Urquhart, then?

He smells the money.

Nice beach, this, isn't it?

Yeah.

We should come here
when we have to discuss business.

The hotel's too public.

Right.

That's where the jetty will be

and the storage tanks over here.

All the way up.

Looks just like the model, doesn't it?

Well, more expensive.

It's some business.

It's the only business.

Could you imagine a world without oil?

No automobiles.

No heat.

OLDSEN:
And polish.

MAC:
No ink.

OLDSEN:
And nylon.

MAC:
No detergents.

OLDSEN: And Perspex.
You wouldn't get any Perspex.

MAC:
No polythene.

OLDSEN:
Dry-cleaning fluid.

MAC:
Uh-huh. And waterproof coats.

They make dry-cleaning fluid out of oil?

OLDSEN:
Oh, yeah. Did you not know that?

MAC CHUCKLES

MAC:
No, I didn't know that.

You know anything about the stars?

OLDSEN:
Not much.

Why?

MAC: I wanna check something out.
I'll get a book or something.

PAGER BEEPS

It's business time in Houston.
I wanna make some calls.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Can I help you, gentlemen?

Yes. I'd like to use the telephone.
Is there one in the hotel?

There's a phone box just across the road
at the jetty.

You'll need some change.

You can talk to anywhere in the world
from there.

Could you change this for me, please?
Tens, the lot.

Well, now, I don't think we'll manage that.

Hey, you got any tens, lads?
The gentleman here would like

to make a very important long-distance
phone call. Intercontinental.

Come on, give me your tens!

- Sandy! Got any ten pences? Ten pences.
- INDISTINCT CHATTER

COINS CLATTER

MOTORBIKE APPROACHES

Aye, Ricky's on the road tonight.
You've got to look both ways.

Come on.

There you are, Mr Mac.
Now, full working order.

- Thanks. I'm fine now. Thank you very much.
- Oh...

Oh, you don't have to do that.
It's gonna be terrific. Thank you.

- Have you got the code?
- I got the code, yeah.

Cos if not,
I'll get the operator to sort it for you.

I'll be alright. I'll be OK.

You put the tens in
when you hear the pips, right?

Over here. I'm fine. Thanks a lot.

You've been a big help
and I'll see you later, OK?

- Oh, aye.
- No, later on, I'll see you.

- Alright.
- OK.

Bye-bye. Thanks again.

Bye! You've been a big help. Bye.

MULTIPLE RECEPTIONISTS:
Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas.

- Hold the line, please.
- Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas.

Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas.

Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas.

PHONE BEEPS

RECEPTIONIST:
Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas.

OK, OK! Listen, just get me Calvin Wrain

in Acquisitions and Negotiations and hurry!

Please, I'm calling
from a very great distance!

Hold the line, please.

PHONE RINGS

- This is Wrain.
- MAC: Cal, I'm in a phone box!

- Mac, how are you?
- Now, listen.

Take this number, Ferness 261.

And you're gonna have to look up the code.
I'll give you any other numbers I have

- as soon as I know the place better.
- PHONE BEEPS

Cal! How are things, boy?

Everything's fine, Mac.
You've only been gone a couple of days.

Seems longer to me.
I feel I've been here forever.

Well, how's the deal going?

May take a little time.
They've got a real nice beach here, Cal.

PHONE BEEPS

PHONE BUZZES

SEABIRDS WARBLE

Moritz, Moritz, you're destroying me.

HE LAUGHS

Yes, now we're getting somewhere.

I think we can move on.

- What do you mean?
- The next stage.

We should physicalise things a little.

- What?
- I could hit you.

Wouldn't that humiliate you?
We could progress by leaps and bounds.

I could tie you up.

Forget it, Moritz.
You're talking perversion, not therapy.

Go on, get out, and don't come back.

That's good! You're reacting.
You're upset already.

Think what it'll be like when I punch you!

Get out before I punch you.

This is most gratifying, Mr Happer.
It vindicates my entire theory.

The whole programme.

I've got your ego on the run, Mr Happer,
you piece of shit!

Sorry, sir, that just slipped out.

You'll be hearing from me.
We can't give up now.

You're a star patient, Mr Happer.

I might have to raise my fee
when we do get physical.

But it won't be anything unreasonable.
Good afternoon, Mr Happer.

Mrs Wyatt.

Cancel all future appointments
with Moritz and get me Hawaii.

I want Fisher at the observatory.

MUFFLED LAUGHTER

Hello, Danny. Morning, Mr Maclntyre.

MAC:
We'll give Urqu-hart 24 hours.

OLDSEN:
Yeah.

BIRDS TWEET
- Look at the birds.

They don't look like seagulls.

No, they're too small for seagulls.
And they're not white.

They'll get wet.

Maybe they're waterproof.

You get waterproof birds?

- Yeah, sure you do.
- PLANE ROARS

EXPLOSION

EXPLOSION

Let's check out the church
and talk to the preacher.

I want to do something.

OLDSEN: Do you think Gordon and Stella
do it every night?

MAC:
Of course not.

INDISTINCT CLAMOUR

URQUHART: Look, please, everyone,
will you calm down?

Nobody's mentioned money yet.

Don't get excited.

- We can...
- Quiet, please, everyone!

Thanks, Murdo.

All I need just now
is your "OK" to negotiate.

I've got the Knox man on the hook.

Just give me the time to land him in style.

Now, he's got a bag full of money...

Just stay calm and let me handle him.

I need your patience and your faith.

Trust me.

Eh... would they be wanting
to buy a boat, too, Mr Urquhart?

Gideon, if things go well

they'll have to buy their own shirts
back off us this time next week.

CROWD LAUGHS

Now, stay calm. Trust me.

Gordon, I'd like to say a short prayer now,
since we're all here.

Fine, Murdo.

Quiet, please, everyone!

Murdo wants to say a short prayer.

- Lord...
- It's the Yank and the other one!

CROWD MURMURS
- They're coming across to the church!

URQUHART:
Quiet, please, everyone!

- Murdo, can you deal with it?
- Oh, God.

Just head them off.

Not a sound, please! Oh, God...

SHEEP BLEAT

This is where the canteen'll be.

What's that?

It's where you have lunch, you know,
and dinner.

Oh, commissary.

- Yeah, that kind of thing.
- Ah, very nice.

Good morning! Can I help you?

OLDSEN: Reverend Macpherson?
- Yes.

My name's Maclntyre. And this is Oldsen.

Maclntyre, eh?

You're not Scottish, are you?

I'm an American, actually.

I'm not a Scotsman, either.

- I'm an African.
- Ah.

I came here as a student minister
and didn't ever get away again.

What can I do for you?

We're, um...
We're here on kind of a mission.

- Same here.
- MAC CHUCKLES

Well, we're in the way of wanting to acquire
some real estate in the area, sir

and we'd like to establish relationships
with those who have land hereabouts.

You want to buy my church?

Well, not as a going concern.

PLANE ROARS

- They're practising.
- EXPLOSION

As long as they're bombing the beach,
they can't be bombing anywhere else.

It's kind of comforting.

MURDO CHUCKLES

MURDO SIGHS

So far as your business here is concerned

all I can recommend is that
you talk to our Mr Urquhart.

He looks after the interests of the church,
in temporal matters, at least.

I understand.

Sounds like good advice, Reverend.
I know I don't have to ask you, sir

but could you treat our conversation
with confidence, for the meantime?

Oh, I give you my word that I'll be as
discreet as the next man, Mr Maclntyre.

Thank you.

But news does tend to travel fast
around here.

I understand, sir.

The reverend says
"News travels fast around here."

ALL:
Hmm.

Don't know why I'm here.

I'm more of a telex man.

Could sew this whole deal up
in one afternoon over the wires.

That's the kind of person I am.

I need electricity.

PLANE ROARS

Don't know about those jets.

They really spoil a very nice area.

It's a crime.

MACINTRYE SIGHS
Yeah.

SEAGULLS SQUAWK

JAUNTY ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS

- Excuse me, can I have another roll, please?
- Certainly.

We saw an old man on the beach today.
Who was that?

- Oh, that'd be Ben.
- Is that his shack?

- Yes.
- And he lives there the whole year?

Oh, yes.

- Doesn't he get cold?
- No, he's used to it.

- How's the casserole de lapin?
- Excellent. Terrific. Thank you.

"Lapin."

That's rabbit.

- Is this my rabbit?
- Yes.

- Harry!
- Trudy.

We don't allow animals in the bedrooms.
I should've told you sooner.

It's a pet, not an animal. It had a name.

You don't eat things with names.
This is horrific.

It was an injured rabbit, that's all.
In shock with a broken limb. It was in pain.

Excuse me, Mr Urquhart,
but I think you were a bit hasty.

Mac was looking after it.

All it needed was lots of rest
and the proper treatment.

There was every chance of a full recovery
and a fully active life.

Mac was on top of the situation.

They didn't like the rabbit.

Mac loved the rabbit,
that's just the point!

It had a name! Two names!

I'm sorry, I just don't think
there's a lot I can do, though.

Is it worthwhile calling a vet, Stella?

Don't be a clown, Gordon.

Get into the kitchen
and make some coffee.

It had a broken leg. It was a clean snap.

You check the bones in the dish
if you don't believe me.

I'm sorry, Mac, but we eat rabbits here.

The vet would've done the same.

I didn't know it had a name.

It's OK, Stella.

Look, you don't have to finish it
if you don't want to.

How was it, anyway?

It was nice.
Apart from it being Trudy, it was nice.

What lovely, long eyelashes you've got.

Was it a wine sauce?

Yeah.

Yeah, I just let it simmer for a couple
of hours in some white wine.

Why did you call it Trudy?

No reason.

Apart from anything else,
a Rolls Royce will last far longer.

It is a false economy
to invest in cheap goods.

It's not cheap. The Maserati's over 30,000
and it looks much nicer.

Oh, I can just see you getting four or five
winter lambs

and a box of mackerel
into the back of a Maserati.

That's what you need your Rolls for,
its space, there's adaptability.

Are you sure there are two "L's" in "dollar",
Gideon?

Yes.

And are there two "G's" in "bugger off"?

BANGING ON ROOF

- Andrew, can you knock it off for a bit?
- ANDREW: OK, Gordon.

Thanks.

STELLA:
Coffee!

Ta.

Stella...

are you busy?

No, just fixing lunch.

Andrew!

It's OK, you can start again now!

BANGING ON ROOF

- Don't wave your arm so much.
- I got six!

I got a ten before.
You didn't see it, but I did.

I think ten's the maximum
you can get before it sinks.

It's a scientific law.

Ah, but it's the size as well.

A middle kind of size
seems to work the best, you know?

I think I'll check out the beach.
Want to come?

No, you go ahead.

I'm going to hang around here
and maybe catch Urquhart later.

Hey, I said it! "Urquhart"!

Gordon Urquhart.

Gordon Urquhart.

MOTORBIKE ROARS

Working hard.

Fixing the creels.

Trying to keep the lobsters in
and the crabs out.

What do you do with the lobsters?

Oh, they catch a plane every night
at Inverness.

Aye, next day,
they're being eaten in London or Paris.

Oh, aye, they see the world.

- Don't you eat them?
- Oh, no. Too expensive.

You work here as well as the bar?

Oh, aye, we all muck in together.
Do any job that's needing done, eh?

Oh, aye.

Have you only got one job?

- Yeah, just one.
- BABY GARGLES

How's the telephone box?
Is it alright for you?

It's fine, yeah. Fine.

- Gideon's gonna give it a fresh coat of paint.
- Great.

BABY HICCUPS

Any particular colour you'd like?

Red's alright. Red's fine.

Cord could be a little longer though.
In America, the cords are a bit longer.

BABY CRIES

Whose baby?

BABY SNIFFLES

Come down!

Come here, I want to talk to you!

Baby coral.

You're Mr What's-His-Name from Knox.

Danny. We met in Aberdeen.

I remember.

- Did you swim all the way?
- No, I stay here a lot. This is my bay.

I'm working on a biological profile
of the whole area.

- Didn't Geddes tell you?
- Not in so many words.

I'm plotting everything

from the two headlands right inshore
to the high-tide mark.

How's the water? Cold?

Not as cold as it should be.

The North Atlantic Drift comes in here.

That's warmish water from the Caribbean.

That's why it's special here.

There's stuff fetching up here
all the way from the Bahamas.

Oh, that's a long way.

- You swim?
- Not that far.

How are things in the village?

OK.

They're good people.

Let me know if I can help.

JET ROARS OVERHEAD

Good afternoon.

Hello. I'd like some toothpaste, please.

Something with fluoride or ammonia.

And some shampoo.

Dry, normal or greasy?

Normal.

Extra-normal.

That's normal.

It'll do your dandruff as well.

They've been smelling the money
ever since you two got here.

They must be going crazy.

- You know why we're here?
- Of course. It's my project, isn't it?

Your project?

The Marine Laboratory, here.

I sent the proposal to Houston months ago.

You're here to check it out, right?

SHE SCOFFS
Don't be coy.

Sure. The Marine Laboratory.

I know it's only a public-relations number
for Knox just now.

The future's in here, you know.

Well, actually, I'm not really
a very good swimmer myself, you know?

Hey, listen, when can I see you again?

I'm always around.
I'll pop up and see you again soon.

Look, have-have you got enough air left
to get you home?

Sure.

Well, listen, take care, anyway.

See you!

Have you got a telephone number
or anything?

SMOOTH INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS

STELLA GIGGLES

- No.
- No?

No.

That's all it is.

No.

Little one over here?

No.

You could paint that out, put this here.

No.

- No, huh?
- No.

Well, we don't see the point.

Why don't you just ask him
to make us an offer?

It's not that simple.
We can't appear too eager.

We string him along and the price goes up.
Don't you see that?

Aye, but what if he pulls out?

It's too much of a gamble.

We think you should ask him
what he has to offer, right now.

- Yep.
- Yep.

- Just a half pint for you, lain?
- Aye, just a half pint, Gordon.

And a whisky.

I told you I needed your trust
and your patience.

Let me take the strain. Relax.

Give me till the ceilidh, at least. 24 hours.

DOOR THUDS OPEN

OK, we'll talk at the ceilidh.

Nice to see you in here, Mr Maclntyre.

Mr Urquhart.

HE SCOFFS
I want you to try something.

This is the MacAskill.

A pure malt whisky.

Forty-two years old.

Old enough to be out on his own.

HE LAUGHS

Very true.

- Slainte.
- Yeah.

- I want to talk to you.
- Good.

URQUHART: It's not a matter
of buying off people's feelings.

It's not as crude as that.

It's more a way of taking feelings
into account.

- I agree.
- We're talking about massive disturbance

a way of life changing, resettlement,
lives being restarted.

Sounds like a lot of money,
the way you put it.

One way, it strikes me, might be a trust fund

over and above a purchase price

a way of letting the community
feel involved in the place.

Say, a lump sum, plus a percentage
of the profits over 10 or 20 years

with some local trustees
and some Knox ones.

MAC: I think we have to decide
on a basic price first

and then I could know how
I can accommodate the frills.

OK, I'll get you a fixed price
averaging over the whole area.

Good.

We have to be talking about millions.

Maybe.

What kind of millions do you reckon
we're talking about?

We'll have to talk about that.

Say, a target figure of maybe...

Twenty million.

- For the trust?
- For the community, yes.

Pounds.

Dollars, maybe.

It's a nice evening.

- Evening, Ben.
- Aye!

It's a pleasant night, Gordon.

This is Maclntyre.
He's staying with us for a time.

How do you do, Mr Maclntyre?

I would offer you a cup of tea,
but there's only the one other cup.

Hope you don't mind sharing.

Not in the least. No sugar, though, please.

Maclntyre was asking me how much
I thought the bay was worth, Ben.

BEN LAUGHS

That's a good...

That's a good one right enough, Gordon!

HE LAUGHS

Do you know about the stars, Ben?

Well, I know my way around this sky.

What about comets? Any around?

Did you want to buy a comet as well?

Maybe.

Well, if you want to find a comet

all you have to do is look long enough
in the right place.

Where would you look?

If I had the inclination,
I would look in Leo

but it seems like an awful lot
of trouble just to find a comet.

What about Virgo?

You never mentioned comets before,
Maclntyre.

You're opening up a whole new area
of negotiation.

We'll leave you in peace now, Ben.

Listen, we're having a ceilidh tomorrow,
after Mac and I have tidied up some work.

- You'll come?
- I'll be there, Gordon.

You can count on me.

Jesus, look.

Holy cow!

Jesus.

Calm down, Mac.
It's just a meteor shower.

WATCH BEEPS

MOTORBIKE APPROACHES

BANGING ON ROOF

MAC:
Morning, Andrew.

Morning, Mr Mac.

See you later, then.

PHONE RINGS

IAIN:
Mr Maclntyre!

Telephone! It's a Mr Houston!

MOTORBIKE ROARS

Maclntyre, hello.

HAPPER:
This is Happer. How are things?

Sir, they're fine.

The deal is about there.

What about the sky?

The sky, sir, is amazing.

There seems to be a lot happening
in it all the time.

Last night, there was a meteor shower.

It was spectacular!

Where was the shower, Maclntyre?

It was in the sky. They came down.

- What part of the sky?
- I don't know exactly, sir

but I'm told that comet-wise,
Leo might be worth a look.

Should I switch from Virgo? I'll have
more time when we finalise the deal.

No, no. Do both, Maclntyre. Leo and Virgo.

Have you ever seen a meteor shower, sir?

Once or twice.

It's a sight worth seeing.
I know how you must feel.

Yes, Mr Happer.

I'll keep in touch.

Goodbye, sir.

MAN ON RADIO:
Next week, Professor Douglas Wiley

will be talking to us about his theory
of the existence of another planet

- around the orbit of Pluto...
- PHONE RINGS

...based on his researches into
interplanetary gravitational effect.

Until then, from Astronomy Tomorrow,
we wish you good night.

Yes?

MAN:
Happer?

Yes.

You're a shit, Happer,
a useless piece of crap.

Have I told you that already today?

Get off the phone, Moritz.
I don't need you anymore.

You're not being paid.
Now leave me alone.

It worked again, Mr Happer.

This is doing more good
than the formal sessions.

There are no sessions anymore.

Now leave me alone or I'll call the police.
This is harassment.

Asshole, Happer! You love it. Craphound!

PAN CLATTERS

I'm still here, Happer!
And you're still a useless mutt!

You seem to like this place.

I like the scenery.

SEAGULLS SQUAWK

SEAL BARKS

MARINA:
Grey seals.

OLDSEN:
They look nice and friendly.

A salmon fisherman would shoot them
on sight.

They steal his fish and ruin his nets.

And they know what they're doing.
They're rascals.

We're keeping an eye on them, though.

There's only 50,000 left in the Atlantic
right now.

Sailors used to think
they were mermaids, yeah?

Aye, they did. They were wrong.

RUSSIAN MAN ON RADIO:
General Store from Vulgar Boatman.

Channel 4 for QRK.

Come back, General Store.

Channel 4 for QRK.

Come back and copy.

General Store, planning a visit.

Picked up some modulations
on your coming ceilidh. You copy?

Welcome to democracy, boatman.

SHE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

Da. Dasvidaniya.

Roddy!

Roddy!

Tell Gordon Urquhart the Russians are coming!

WOMAN SPEAKS RUSSIAN

- Hello! Hello!
- WOMAN SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN

THEY SPEAK RUSSIAN

SHE SPEAKS RUSSIAN

THEY SPEAK RUSSIAN

SHE SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN

How are you?

INDISTINCT CHATTER

HE SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN

SHE SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN

- Good to see you, Victor.
- Good to see you, Gordon!

Watch the booze, Gordon.

- Carry these.
- OK.

Silly bitch.

This is plum brandy for Stella.

The rest is the usual.
HE LAUGHS

How are things?

- I heard about the ceilidh.
- Oh, yeah. We've lots to tell you.

We've been invaded by America.
We're all gonna be rich.

Really?

We won't have anywhere to call home,
but we'll be stinking rich.

- Are there Americans here?
- Just one, and a Scots kid.

They're on the beach somewhere.
They've taken to going for long walks.

Ah...

DISTORTED BEEPS

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

It's Japanese.

Marina...

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

SHE REPEATS IN JAPANESE

HE SPEAKS JAPANESE

Kissu.

"Kissu"?

Kissu...

You taste salty.

You're on the fresh side.

URQUHART:
I've got some insurance policies for you...

How d'you make this thing add up?

DEVICE WHIRS

Oh, Mac.

Come and meet Victor Pinochkin.

Victor, this is Mac.

Maclntyre. Knox Oil and Gas, Houston.

Pinochkin. Soviet Fishing Fleet, Murmansk.

I'm here for the ceilidh.

We have been buying some fish in the Minch.

You are doing some business too, I believe?

Yes. I think I'll go upstairs
and wash out these shells.

Hey, hey, hey! What have you got there?

Is that a scallop shell?

A very nice one.

This is a razor fish or razor clam.

They call them "spoots" around here.

You can eat them.

Catching them is a problem, though.
They jet through the sand.

Strong little things.

I wouldn't wanna eat them.

Why don't you come down
for a drink later, Mac?

- Yeah. I'll see you later.
- VICTOR: See you.

URQUHART: I've left all of last year's money
on short-term deposit.

Didn't seem worthwhile moving it into stock.
I didn't know when you might need it.

Wouldn't it work harder on the money market?

The amounts don't justify it, Victor.

Besides, the dollar's all over the place
just now.

It'd be a full-time job just monitoring it.

Maybe I'm getting lazy.

No, I see what you mean.

You should think again about some property.

I'll be pretty liquid
once this Knox thing goes through.

You could come in with me.

You know I am a cash man, Gordon.
I'll have to think about it.

Hey, that's a ribbed mussel. Nice.

Yeah. And this is a scallop.

A bay scallop, I would say, actually.

Yeah, yeah, and this is a razor shell.

How's business, then? Do you need any help?

No, no.
Urquhart's got all the powers of attorney.

We should have a draught agreement
by tonight.

So we've swung it, then?

Yeah, looks like it.

No opposition at all?

They'll do alright.
We're not robbing anybody.

Do they know what's gonna happen
to the place?

They're gonna be rich, that's all they know.

D'you think I could borrow your
ribbed mussel, please?

I want to show it someone.

- Bring it back?
- First thing tomorrow.

OK.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

Hey!

Yeah?

Do you speak Russian?

Yeah, that's one of mine.

You want my scallop, too?

No, thanks. The mussel will do.

OK. See you at the ceilidh, then.

Right.

DISTANT GAELIC MUSIC PLAYS

BAND PLAYS GAELIC MUSIC

WOMAN:
Please, come on!

- No, no. Thanks very much...
- Do you not want to dance with me?

Well, it's not that, it's just that I've got
a drink over...

- It'll be good!
- No, I just...

Just enjoy yourself.

- It's just that...
- CROWD WHOOPS

BAND PLAY FAST-PACED MUSIC

If we call the useless land,
the beach and the cliffs

a third of the price of the working land
and the village

we get the average price of 2,000 per acre.

- That should work.
- Sounds fine.

Then I'm asking for a tiny, tiny 5%
of revenue over ten years

on top of the ten million at the start.

I can't say on the percentage,
but you can have the ten million

plus some form of participation
to be mutually... etc, etc.

PIANO PLAYS LIVELY MUSIC

There's Victor's song.

CROWD CHEERS

♪ Guess that I was born to be a roller ♪

♪ Guess I've always been a rolling stone ♪

♪ But someday
When my rolling days are over ♪

♪ I'll have found a place to call my own ♪

♪ Cos even the lone stars
They get lonesome ♪

♪ Lonesome as the lost ship on the sea ♪

♪ Even the lone stars
They get lonesome ♪

♪ Lonesome for a lone star man like me ♪

IN SCOTTISH ACCENT:
Give me a 42-year-old whisky, Roddy!

Oh, we've none of that tonight, Mr Mac.

Well, give me four 8-year-olds
and a 10-year-old.

Alright, that adds up!

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Even the lone stars
They get lonesome ♪

♪ Lonesome for a lone star man like me ♪

♪ Lonesome for a lone star man ♪

♪ Like me... ♪

CROWD CHEERS

CROWD WHISTLES

Four generations of working that farm.

Digging and draining and planting.

Years and years and it comes to this.

Aye, strange times, Archie.

What was it Gordon Urquhart offered you?

One and a half million in cash

plus 2% of the relocation fund

and a share in the oil field revenue.

Aye, strange times, strange times.

BAND PLAY FAST MUSIC

WOMAN WHOOPS

- Come on, Mac, what do you say?
- What do I say what?

Let's haggle.

Haggle?

Dollars or pounds?

The 2,000 per of the 10 million?

Pounds. Let's say pounds.

THEY LAUGH
- Come on, Mac, negotiate!

Call it whatever you want, Gordon.

Pounds, yen, rubles.

You name it.

CROWD WHOOPS

It was only £40 at Christmas here.

Aye, but you were only charging two
at the door at Christmas.

Listen, inflation's going up all the time,
you know.

It's your spiralling costs
you're talking about.

Anyway, Alan's got a new guitar now.

You're a fiver short, Murdo.

Sorry, Gordon.

Thanks.

You'll still give us a hand with the waltz,
will you?

Oh, aye.

BAND PLAY A WALTZ

Come on, Mac, get your jacket off.

We're waltzing.

Come on.

It's James Stewart.

It's Humphrey Bogart, right.

Look. Watch, watch. Who's this? Who's this?

Well, that would be James Stewart.

That's Cary Grant.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Watch.

Ah!

Humphrey Bogart.

No, that was James Stewart.

INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION

INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION

MUSIC STOPS

What were you dancing with that prat for?

What?

I saw you chasing that guy
all over the dance floor.

What's so special about him?

He's different.

HE SCOFFS

Bloody right he's different!

Cheer up.

You've made everybody very happy.

You are a success. Cheers.

It's their place, Mac.

They have a right to make
what they can of it.

You can't eat scenery.

Cheers!

Yeah.

You speak a lot of sense for an oilman.

FLUTE PLAYS SOFTLY

Is everyone celebrating?

Almost everyone.

When do I get the good news?

Look, I want to talk to you about that.

There's a kind of alternative plan
for the place.

Geddes at the lab's in on it.
He's got all the details.

What do you mean?

It's a kind of oil thing,
a terminal or something.

No.

I don't see that happening here.
I don't see that at all.

Holy mackerel! What's happened?

MARINA: That's just the northern lights,
aurora borealis.

High-energy protons spilling over
into our atmosphere.

They get through the magnetic shield
where it's weak, at the poles.

It's still beautiful.
I don't care what you call it.

How often does this happen?

Any old time.
Although it's best when the sun's active.

That gets the solar wind up
and that's where the protons come from.

You say the darndest things, Marina.

I don't feel sick,
I just feel a wee bit dizzy.

I'll put a bit of colour into your cheeks,
darling.

What's happening up there?

URQUHART:
That's the northern lights, Mac.

MAC: What the heck is that?
- URQUHART: It's pretty technical.

Nice though, isn't it?

Hey, everybody, I need tens!

As many tens as you can give me...

- Gotta have... gotta have tens.
- THEY CHATTER

I need tens.

RECEPTIONIST:
Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas.

MULTIPLE RECEPTIONISTS:
Thank you for calling Knox Oil and Gas.

MRS WYATT ON PHONE:
Mr Maclntyre in Scotland, Mr Happer.

Should I transfer him to Mr Fountain?

- No, let me have him.
- Yes, sir.

Happer here, Maclntyre.

I'm watching the sky, sir!

It's doing some amazing things.

It's got everything. Reds, greens...

Kind of shimmering, and there's a noise, too

like a far-off thunder, only it's softer.

I wish you could see it.

I wish I could describe it to you
just like I'm seeing it.

Be more specific, Maclntyre.
You're my eyes and ears there.

Give me details.

Sir! I'll give you the colours first, sir.

It's white and green and red...
Sorry, that's the phone box.

Oh, it's blue! It's just blue!
It's like a shower of colour!

Tell him it's the aurora borealis.

I have some more information, sir.
It's the aurora borealis.

But it's beautiful!

Ah, you're a lucky man, Maclntyre.

I haven't seen the aurora
since '53 in Alaska.

I haven't seen a comet yet, sir.

I don't know if I'd spot one
in all this other stuff.

Moritz, you idiot!

...was saying that meteors
are always a good sign of a comet.

And that stuff we saw coming from Leo
the other night may just be an indication...

- You nut! Get off!
- ...of what might be happening in the future

with regard to the comets, of course.

HAPPER GRUNTS
- I'll probably just keep...

Moritz, you idiot! Get off this building!
I'll have you certified!

...happening in the sky, and as you suggested

I'll watch Virgo as well.

And I'll let you know if anything...

God! It just went red all over!

PHONE BEEPS
- It's red all over!

DIAL TONE PLAYS

Mrs Wyatt, I'm leaving the office.

MRS WYATT:
Yes, sir.

And, Mrs Wyatt

there's a maniac outside the building.

You'd better call the police department.
Get some marksmen.

Shoot him off. Shoot to kill.

SIRENS WAIL

Pardon me.

ACCORDION PLAYS

Oh, Gordon...

Oh, Gordon...

HE SIGHS

Well, Edward...

I wonder what the poor people
are doing tonight.

Aye. But, Peter...

I thought all this money
would make me feel...

different.

What do you mean?

Well, all it's done
is make me feel depressed.

I don't feel any different.

Well, Edward, you'll just need to buck up.

You need to accept the fact
you're stinking rich.

Nobody ever said that
it was gonna be easy to be a millionaire, Ed.

ACCORDION HONKS

MAC:
I have a proposition for you, Gordon.

I know I may be a bit tipsy

but I want you to consider this seriously,
OK?

URQUHART:
OK.

MAC:
OK.

I want to swap with you.

Everything.

I want to stay here.

Run the hotel...

do little bits of business.

You can go to Houston

take the Porsche, the house, the job.

It's a good life there, Gordon.

I pulled out 80,000 a year.

Plus I have over 50,000 in mixed securities.

I want you to have it all.

BEER PUMP CLUNKS AND POURS

BEER STOPS

There's nothing due on the car,
it's pure ownership.

And I won't let down
your good name here, Gordon.

I'll make a good Gordon, Gordon.

What do you say, pal?

What about Stella?

I was coming to that.

I love her.

Very, very much.

She's wonderful.

She's the most beautiful woman
I've ever loved

and I think she knows it.

I want you to leave Stella here with me,
Gordon.

Would you do that?
Would you leave Stella here with me?

Sure, Mac.

You're a good guy, Gordon.

MAC:
Do you drive a car, Victor?

VICTOR:
Yes.

I share a Volvo 144 Estate
with my brother-in-law.

I drive a Porsche 930.

Uh-huh.

What's the insurance like on a Porsche?

Very heavy.

But I get a deal through Knox Insurance.

Ah.

You got hi-fi?

Quad and video.

I've got a quad outfit, too.

Picked it up in Japan.

Here's my address in Houston, Victor.

If you ever get to the States,
give me a call.

Oh, thank you very much.

Let me give you my address in Murmansk,
too, Mac.

I'm not there a lot, but...

VICTOR LAUGHS
You never know.

Here's my card.

How come you're here?

Fishing.

I have been coming here for years.

DISTANT EXPLOSION
- I like it here

but it is a tough life for the locals.

You should be proud of yourself,
making them millionaires.

- I don't know.
- Yeah.

PLANE ROARS

EXPLOSION

- Breakfast ready, Gordon?
- URQUHART: We've a problem.

- What?
- The beach. Ben's beach.

- What's the problem?
- The problem is, it really is Ben's beach.

PHONE RINGS
- He owns the shoreline, four miles of it

from the grass down to the low-tide mark.

I found it in the parish records
when I was checking out some title deeds.

Can he prove it?

We can't steal the beach from him, Victor.
It's his.

We'll have to buy it from him.

It's not in my budget.

I thought the shore properties
covered the beach.

I didn't make allowances for this.

Work out a price, Gordon, juggle the figures

steal something from the trust fund.
Something.

Does he know he owns it?

I thought we could just relocate him,
but this is different.

Can't you stick in some more money, Mac?

- It's a new property, after all.
- Mr Mac.

That was a telephone call from America.

There's a Mr Happer coming to see you here.

MAC: Happer?
- Yes. H-A-P-P...

P-E-R.

- He spelt it for me.
- Oh, Jesus!

One million sterling, Gordon,
and not a penny more.

Then you're on your own.

That includes the cliffs and the rocks.
Small rocks as well.

URQUHART:
OK, Mac, I've got the message.

MOTORBIKE APPROACHES

VICTOR:
Where's the door here?

There is no door.
Just bang on the window.

MAC: Jesus. How do you do business
with someone who doesn't have a door?

VICTOR:
The ethics are just the same.

Ben, could I have a word with you?

Ben, hello.

We wanted to talk to you.
You know Maclntyre.

Hi, Mr Maclntyre.

This is Victor Pinochkin.
Victor, this is Ben Knox.

- How do you do, Mr Victor?
- How do you do?

Your name is Knox?

My name's Knox, yes.

Can we come in, Ben, or will you come out?

I'll tell you,
I'll just get the fire started.

URQUHART:
This is your beach, isn't it, Ben?

Oh, yes.

Been in the family for, what, 400 years.

Aye, the Lord of the Isles
gave it to an ancestor of mine.

He helped him out with a spot of trouble.

Killed his brother for him,
something like that.

You have a deed or anything? Papers?

It's in the museum in Edinburgh.

It's a historical document.

Mac.

Sure, sure. Ben?

What we wanted to ask you...

Have you ever thought about moving?

Eh, no.

- No?
- No.

Maclntyre represents some people
who think they have a use for the beach, Ben.

They want to pay you for using it.

Money?

A lot of money.

£100,000.

You see, the thing is,
I'm still working the place myself.

It's my living.

It supports me.

You'd have lots of money.
You wouldn't have to work.

We all have to work, Gordon.

I mean, the beach has to be worked.

Think of the state
the place would get into, eh?

JAUNTY ACCORDION MUSIC PLAYS

Gordon, can this music be turned off?

Oh, yeah.

- Don't you like this?
- No.

- You mean you never liked it?
- No.

Even when you first came here,
you didn't like this?

No.

Huh.

Half a million pounds is a lot of money, Ben.

Even enough to buy another beach with.

Look, I've got some postcards.

I've got some very fine beaches here.

I want to make you an offer.

How about this?
Any beach that takes your fancy

anywhere in the world, I'll get for you.

Look at this, Hawaii.

I can get you five or six miles of Hawaii,
no problem.

Or, look here, Australia.

Look at that sand.

Oh, yes...

Well, I mean, they look like
very nice beaches, Mr Maclntyre, but...

see, I only need the one. I have this here.

I don't need another one.

Besides, I'm not sure that there's a living
in any of these beaches.

You've got to go into that kind of thing
in detail.

I'll buy you any beach you want

and I'll give you £750,000
to set yourself up with.

It'll give you some security
in the early stages.

- Yeah, I mean...
- What do you say?

You're great at talking
with the big numbers, Mr Maclntyre...

- Hey, look, you're good at numbers, eh?
- It's part of my job, yes.

Would you give me a pound note
for every grain of sand I hold in my hand?

Now, you can have the beach for that.

There, eh...

Saved you a pound or two, eh?

Come on, Ben, I don't want to play games.
Let's negotiate in a business-like way.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, I mean...

HE SCOFFS

You could have had a very nice
purchase there, Mr Maclntyre.

I can't hold much more than 10,000 grains
of sand in my hand at a time.

Did you think it would be a bigger number?

You took advantage of me, Ben.

Did I?

How about a hatful of sand?

No, no.

I mean, that wouldn't be business-like.

BEN SIGHS

Ah.

Danny, get the wine glasses
without the stems, will you?

Sure. Now, would anybody like
some more potatoes?

VICTOR: No, thank you.
- No.

Yes, please.

- Some roast, if you have them.
- Sure thing, Mr Knox.

And a... couple of more sprouts.

Anything.

Is he going to sell?

He wants some more sprouts.

Here, let's have a look.

Want to buy a house, Andrew?

I'm trying to sell one, Edward.

URQUHART: Good night, Ben.
- Gordon, good night.

- I've enjoyed myself.
- Good.

Mr...

Good night.

URQUHART:
Can we have a word with you, Ben?

Let's walk him home.

What if I told you that 400, 500 people
could make a living right here

if things were allowed to change.

It wouldn't be the first time, would it?

- What do you mean?
- Local history, Gordon.

This beach used to be a good living
for 300 people.

They gathered the seaweed and extracted
the chemicals. Big business.

Two hundred years ago,
this beach was turning over

£15,000 a year.

Then the trade routes opened up again
to the east and so, "Farewell, Ferness."

The business went, but...

the beach is still here.

If you got the place, it would be
"Goodbye, beach, forever," wouldn't it?

Have an orange, Gordon.

I found a box on Tuesday on the rocks.

Thanks.

I found a coconut once.
God knows where that came from.

What's the most amazing thing you ever found?

Impossible to say.

See, there's something amazing
every two or three weeks.

I'll let you know the next time.

Good night.

Shit, this is South African.

- Maybe we ought to stick around, huh?
- No, he'll be alright.

Uh-oh.

They've taken the church road.

Maybe they just wanna talk to him.

- You think that's all they'll do?
- Oh, sure. They just wanna talk to him.

Awful lot of them...

URQUHART:
Yeah.

HELICOPTER WHIRS

I'm travelling light, Maclntyre.
One bag in the luggage compartment.

Say, you didn't need
to put on this reception.

This is just an informal visit.

But now that I'm here...

I think I'd like to organise a presentation.

Something these people might need.
A church hall, a piano, or anything.

I'd like to make it a personal gift.

You can let me know about it tomorrow, hmm?

How about the sky, Maclntyre?

Anything new?

Well, we'll talk about it later.
Thanks for the call.

I-I-I'm not Maclntyre, sir.

Well, where the hell is he?

I've been on the move for 24 hours.
I'm not playing games.

Are you Maclntyre?

Yes, sir.

- Get me a room.
- Yes, sir.

- This is Gordon Urquhart, hotel.
- Yeah.

Hotel. This way, sir.

Get the luggage, Danny.

MAC SIGHS

Good sky you've got here, Maclntyre.

Well done.

One or two unfamiliar objects
to look at up there.

I like this place.

The air is good, clear.

Get me a telescope. Tomorrow.
Two-inch refractor will do.

I want a two-inch refractor for tomorrow.

Ben's got a telescope.
It's bigger than two inches, though.

It's about this wide, this long.

MAC:
Jesus! Ben's got this whole place sewn up.

Come on, Danny, carry that stuff...

I'll offer him the piano,
if he's the problem.

I've tried most things, sir.

Did you try a piano?

No, uh...
we offered him a million and a half dollars.

I don't know if he plays the piano.

And he owns the whole beach, hmm?

Yes, sir.
It's been in the Knox family for 400 years.

MAC CLEARS THROAT

Knox?

Ben Knox. I'm sorry, sir. It's his name.

I'd better talk to him. What's he like?

He's kind of eccentric, roams the beach

has an interest in the stars, too.

In fact, he has a telescope.

About this big.

He knows the sky like the back of his hands.

I'll talk to him.

He has this trick he does with sand, sir.

So, if he offers you anything to do with sand

say "Yes", and we'll get him to sign
something right away.

Did you say "sand"?

Yes, sir. Anything up to half a bucketful,
say "Yes".

He wants to sell me the sand?

No, sir. You'll get the drift if he does it.

Well, don't worry about it, Maclntyre.

I've got a plan.

I'm going to offer him a telescope.
A great big one!

Yeah. Well, good luck, sir.

Ben, it's Mac again.

Oh, good morning to you, Mr Mac.

Ben, this is Mr Happer.
He'd like to talk with you.

Delighted to meet you, sir.

Uh... Mr Happer is from America, like me.

- America, eh?
- Mm-hm.

Well, then, Mr...

- Happer, Happer.
- Happer, Happer, is it?

Well, you'd better come in,
if you've come that far.

Well, thank you, sir.

Oh.

That'll be all for now, Maclntyre.

Yes, sir.

See if they're still laughing.

What happened?

Well, they want some whisky

and Ben wants some beef sandwiches
with mustard and no salt.

Did Happer say anything?

Well, he doesn't want any mustard at all.
He just wants the salt.

Nothing else happened?

I asked them if they wanted water
for the whisky...

OK. OK.

Stay cool, Mac. It's a good sign.

I'll get the food.

Bring some brandy back with you, Gordon.
I'm dying.

DISTANT LAUGHTER

BABY CRIES

BABY CRIES

Well...

Slainte, everybody.

- Hey?
- What?

MAC:
Slainte?

Za zdorovie!

- Za zdorovie.
- Skol.

ALL:
Cheers.

DISTANT LAUGHTER

Jesus, what's going on in there?

Sounds like they are buddies.

Any news about the money, Gordon?

Not yet, Edward.
Here, have another brandy.

EDWARD:
Thanks.

OLDSEN:
Hey, look!

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

Hello, Maclntyre.

How did it go, sir?

Fine, fine. This place has a lot to offer.

But I think the refinery site was a mistake.

Ben's been filling me in.

Ben has eight unplotted objects
in this very sky, right above us.

Think of that. We're doing a scan tonight.

The acquisition
is at a pretty advanced stage, sir.

Oh, I want this place, Maclntyre.
Make no mistake about that.

But tell Crabbe to start rethinking
the refinery site

when you see him, tomorrow.

I see a kind of a...
a kind of an institute here.

A place for research, and for study.

An observatory, so to speak,
with radio and optical telescopes.

And after a while, we can branch out.

OLDSEN:
The sea, sir!

This is a natural place
for a marine laboratory.

We've already prepared some data
at the Aberdeen Lab.

The North Atlantic Drift,
it comes right in here

fetches up all sorts of interesting things
from all over the world.

Sea and sky. Hmm...

I like that, I like that.
We can do good things here.

You could call it
"The Happer Institute", sir.

You might be right.
It might be just the name for it.

Says it all.

- Good thinking. Good thinking, uh...?
- Oldsen, sir.

Oldsen, we've got a job to do.
You stay here with me.

Maclntyre,
Crabbe is gonna need you right away.

Take the chopper, go to Aberdeen
and get on over to Houston.

Tell Crabbe to start thinking
along the lines of...

Well, of an offshore establishment,
but just for storage.

And tell him to put the refinery
nearer the markets.

Tonight, sir?

The sooner the better.

And, Maclntyre, get yourself a shave.

What's this laboratory thing, Danny?

You didn't tell me about that.

It's just something I've been
piecing together recently.

Some of Geddes' people are in on it.
You remember the girl?

Oh, yeah, the girl.

Maclntyre, you'd better get moving.

I'm glad I got here in time
to stop your refinery caper.

Oldsen...

get my overcoat
and prepare some food for later.

Ben and I will be full-time
on the telescope tonight.

Yes, Mr Happer.

Oldsen, I could grow to love this place.

You don't really have to pay, Mac.
I could stick it on the Knox tab.

Anyway, it's been fun having you.

- No, I'll pay. I want to.
- OK.

Make it out to "Stella B. Urquhart".

- Stella?
- She's the boss.

This is an American bank account, Gordon.
It might not be valid here.

Don't worry, we'll stick it
on the wall for a souvenir.

Hope things work out with Happer.

Ah, we can handle him.
It's always the same.

The big boys want the playground
all to themselves.

At least there'll be work around the place,
and money.

Yeah. Work and money.

It'll be OK.

HE SIGHS
Well, so long.

You should say goodbye to Stella.
She's upstairs.

No, it doesn't matter.

Go and see her, Mac.

You say toodle-oo for me, Gordon.

And toodle-oo to you, too.

I'll see you off.

Marina!

Marina?

Marina!

It's a plan!

The lab, it's going to happen!

I told them all about it!

The marine laboratory, it's going to happen!

Hi, Mr Mac!

Hi! Can I...

Can I get your autograph, please?

HELICOPTER ENGINE REVS

Ta. Good luck!

OLDSEN:
Hold on, Marina! I want to talk to you!

ALL:
Bye!

WOMAN: Goodbye!
- ALL: Goodbye!

HELICOPTER WHIRS

PETER:
Is that the Yank in that thing, Edward?

EDWARD:
Aye, Peter, that's him away.

PETER:
Ah, bugger it. I meant to say cheerio.

RADIO CHATTER

Bravo Romeo, roger, QS-1120...

HE SIGHS

SIREN WAILS

CAR HORNS HONK

JET ROARS OVERHEAD

TELEPHONE BOX RINGS