All language subtitles for Lexx.S04E02.1080p.HDTV.x264-NOGRP

Resync: Xenzai[NEF]

Did you see that?

What was that?

I don't know, it looked like a
big bug or something.

What was that?

A slow moving chemical propelled craft,

typical of a Type 13 planet in its last
stage of development.

Houston -

a great big bug just passed us,
heading straight toward the Earth.

Say that again?

We just saw a giant moth or something.

There are no insects in space.

There are now.

Houston, Dr Lu speaking.

It was not likely a moth in the sense
of the common Earth organism,

but it had the external appearance of a
Lepidopterus insect of the genus Tinea.

However, I would estimate its
length to be

in the order of five to
six thousand millimetres.

How big was that?

About the size of my pickup, I'd say.

Why don't you go outside and
take a look?

Well it was going real fast sir, it's
probably long gone by now.

It could have slowed down,
or turned around.

Well, we'd see it on the radar
sir, it's not there.

Perhaps. Or perhaps it can
deceive the radar.

So why don't you put on
your space suits,

and go outside and perform
a visual check

to determine if it is still there.

I'm sorry Mr Prince, but
we have strict

- instructions not to go anywhere
- To obey whatever orders

I give.

So. -

quick, quick, on with your space suits

- I'll go.
- You'll both go.

- Why?
- Because I say so.

Well, what do you think I'm going
to do - leave you behind?

This is an ATF mission.

We will obey your orders
as commanded, sir!

Lexx 4.02
Texx Lexx

No sign of anything, Mr Prince.

Mr Prince?

Mr Prince?

Mr Prince!

Mr Prince,
what are you doing?

I'm going to drive away
and leave you here.

How will we get back?

You could walk.

We're in the middle of space, sir!

Exactly.

Why are you doing this, Mr Prince?

Because I'm bad -

so, good luck

or rather, bad luck.

Cheerie bye!

Mr Prince! Mr Prince! You can't
leave us!

Mr Prince!

What's that?

A welcoming committee, I suspect.

OK, yup, we're onto it.

Locked on bandit at 11 o'clock

at 70.000 feet and descending fast.

Stand by to fire.

- Standing by to fire.
- Standing by to fire.

Launch missiles, boys.

- What are those?
- Combustion powered missiles

with explosive tips, designed to
destroy such things as this moth.

Anything I can do?

I suggest you try to avoid them.

Come on, come on.

Yes!

That was close.

This bandit thinks he's better
than us. Let's squash this bug!

Look.

They're turning around.

They are tracking us.

Can't you just knock them
down with your brace?

That may not be necessary.

790?

Yes, my beautiful dead
body of robot desire?

790, we are being tracked by
small missiles

that are emitting an electronic signal.

- What is it?
- It is a simple time coded number

transmitted by the missiles
to determine whether

the object they are attacking
is a friend or a foe.

A friendly object would
recognise the code

and send the appropriate
response code back,

so the missiles would not attack it.

Prepare to engage the bug
in 30 seconds.

790, can you respond on our behalf?

I can, Kai. It's just the
same stupid signal

the aircraft that fired the missiles
is sending out.

But why would you want me to?

Why not just let them shoot
down the moth?

Then Xev would be dead,
and I won't have to worry

about her stealing you away
from me anymore.

Stop the missiles, 790!

If the missiles destroy the moth,

I will have no way to return
to the Lexx,

and may be separated from
you - forever.

Ha, ha, ha!

Eat my jam code,

missiles that want to separate
me from my beloved!

I got that bug at 6 o'clock,

and I'm moving in to swat that
fly right now.

Come on, little shoo fly.

I get you, I get you.

What in the Sam Hill is going on?

Ye-es!

- Thank you.
- Thank you for what?!

Kai, what are you thanking
the love slut for?

I'm the one who saved you!

Kai! Talk to me. Kai!

What is that love slut doing?!
Kai!

Thank you Kai.

It won't respond.

The moth, following its instincts,
is attracted to the flame.

The wings are on fire.

- You must jump, Xev.
- Jump?

Yes. The moth will not leave
the flame until its

wings are no longer able to
keep it aloft.

I will try to limit the crash
damage as best I can.

All right.

Good luck Xev.

Thanks.

Lexx - how many planets in this
solar system?

1, 2, 3,

4, 5, 6,

7, 8

and maybe - 9.

Eight's enough. Let's see number nine.

Ugh. Doesn't really look
important, does it?

No planet is important unless

my captain says it is -

and you are my captain, Captain Stanley.

Lexx - do you ever find yourself

in the mood to just blow something up?

I am always in the mood to blow up
planets.

That is what I was built for.

Yeah, yeah. Lexx -

do you think you could blow up
that planet with

your weapon, even though
it's so far away?

I think so.

You know, I've been feeling the
urge to blow something up.

So have I, captain.

OK Lexx - blow up that planet.

As you command, captain.

And Lexx - see if you can

get it with your first shot,
OK old buddy, old pal?

- Good shot, captain.
- Prince!

- You're alive!
- Of course I'm alive.

How do you know my name?

What do you mean, how do I know
your name,

you, you, you're Prince.

You ruled Fire until Xev
blew it up, and -.

I'm Isambard Prince, director of the
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

of the United States of America,

and I've been sent here to attempt
to reason with the alien threat.

What alien threat?

- You.
- Oh, no, no, no,

I don't believe you, you're not
Isamabard Prince,

you're Prince!
And you're evil!

And you ruled Fire until
we blew it up.

And you're here to kill me,
aren't you?

Why would I want to do that?

Because you're bad! You're bad
right to the core.

Then why didn't I just sneak up
behind you and kill you?

It wouldn't have been difficult.

It still isn't. Please -

strangle the security guard and
make my day a better one.

What is that?

A robot head with a defective
programme, as if you didn't know!

A robot head in love with
a dead man.

- Same thing.
- So

captain Stanley -

you've already destroyed one of the
planets in our solar system

for no particular reason, and you
have threatened to destroy ours.

What must I do, to save
the Earth from you?

- Will you take me please?
- Yap, get on here.

I appreciate it mister.

- Hi.
- Wanna go to my place, honey child?

Sure!

It seems to have some type
of greenish-orange blood,

but the controls are clearly
mechanical.

Show the symbol!

I am now zooming in

on a symbol we've seen on several
parts of the UFO.

There are seats, but no sign of any
passengers -

except for a pair of human looking

footprints leading away from the craft.

Footprints we will now follow.

I do solemnly swear,

that I will uphold the integrity

of the office of the President
of the United States,

faithfully serve my country,

to the best of my ability,

so help me doc.

Dog.

Honey child -

- will you marry me?
- What?!

I feel it in my bones that you're
my one and only woman forever -

and god damn it, I love you.

But Rooster, we just met!

Rooster likes to do things fast.

Well, so do I.

- So?
- So -

Why don't we skip the marriage part
and get on with things?

What things?

You know - fun things.

I can't do that, honey child.

Why not?

Because -

this is Texas.

Oh.

You have to understand that
Stanley H Tweedle,

and only Stanley H Tweedle

can blow up your planet,

Earth, anytime I want -

and I will do just that, unless you

people on Earth do something

to improve my not so very good mood.

No problem.

Mr Prince - or,

whoever - you are clearly evil.

So kill Tweedle now, and improve
my mood.

790-

why do you always wanna get
me killed?

You know, I am not interested

- in the dead man.
- You could be hiding it.

Stanley - captain -

what do you want? What do
we have to give you?

Well, um.

I like women, really. You got
any women?

You can have whatever kind of
woman you want.

Oh.

And my own kingdom.

I want a place, where only I rule,

and everybody does everything
that I say.

You can have whatever country
you want -

within reason, of course.

Well, yeah

and, um -

I want a puppy -

you know, I never had
one when I was little,

and I always hoped someday I would.

That might be difficult.

Why?

Well, you see, it's like this -

Well done! Now, throw him to

his death over the edge
of the bridge.

You take this off right away,

or I'll tell the Lexx to blow
up your planet.

Go on Stanley,

blow it up.

You know me - I won't be
bothered at all.

It'll all be over in a flash,

and Xev will hardly suffer.

You are Prince.

Well done, Stanley.

You may be slow, but you do get
there eventually.

Now -

let us go and find a moth,

and I will fly you down
to my new planet.

Have you seen a love slave named Xev

dressed in a suit made from
Cluster lizard skin?

I wish!

Are you from that crashed bug
ship back there?

Will you transport me to that
building up ahead?

OK.

Thank you.

Ernst is gonna flip!

As you said Stanley, I am Prince.

I remember where the moths

are grown.

Lexx, tilt now, hard!

As you command, Stan.

More, more!

Lexx - level off.

Stanley!

Give me a hand Stanley!

- Be good.
- No!

How about a foot instead?

Ow!

Stanley -

Stanley, let's make a deal.

I'll give you whatever you want.

Please, I'm begging you.

What did you say?

Stanley -

please don't kill me.

I'll give you whatever you want.

Ooo, that doesn't sound like
you at all.

Maybe you're not Prince, I mean -

Prince wouldn't care about dying.

He died, over and over again on Fire.

But maybe Fire was a special place,

and maybe it doesn't work that
way on Earth.

So what's the deal, Prince?

You afraid,

that you're really gonna die?

Stanley, we are both practical men -

let's make a deal that works
for the both of us.

Not a chance, pal.

Thank you, robot head.

Now please, cut him loose.

And then, throw yourself over the edge.

Hello, Stanley -

or should
I be saying goodbye?

I've got the only key to the Lexx!

I'm getting hotter,

I'm getting hungry too.

My mouth makes water,

when I look at you.

I wanna taste you,

do you think I could?

I wanna eat you,

do you think I should?

I'm a Cluster lizard,

and you smell so good.

I'm a Cluster lizard,

and you smell so damn good!

- You got a real talent there, Xev.
- Thanks!

Tell em where you're from again,
Xev darling.

I'm from B3K.

Is that in Texas?

No, I think that's near Abilene.

No. Texas is in the Dark Zone.

B3K is in the Light Universe.

What y'all do there?

I was a love slave.

What exactly does a love slave do?

Whatever it takes to make a man happy..

See, I trained in the wife bank on B3K,

and I've been waiting forever to
satisfy a man in need

Well, I am most definitely

a man in need.

You are? Well, then I can satisfy you!

I'm a love slave! I want to satisfy
men, and

I want men to satisfy me!

The more
satisfaction the better, right?

Honey child, you don't mean that.

What?

You promised me.

You said that I could have your
hand in marriage,

- remember?
- Yeah?

I will cherish and honour and
respect you,

and you will obey me, that's
what marriage is all about.

Oh.

Well - why don't we just forget
about the marriage part

and just get naked
in bed and do it?

- I vote for that!
- Finally!

I was starting to get worried
that there was something wrong

with the men on this planet.

Get your hands off my woman, boy!

All right, all right, all right,
Rooster my man!

I was just
yanking your chain.

Yeah, we was just yanking
your chain.

Party's over. Y'all can leave now,
come on, come on.

When you hear the owl calling,

sneak outside and I'll be waiting -

hotter than a three balled
tomcat in July.

All right.

O, Rooster! OK! OK!

If you'll meet me by the mailbox,
I'll be hotter than a -

popsicle at the rodeo!

- Sure!
- Wait for the call of the coyote.

Come on, thought I already
threw you out!

Skip out when you hear the rattle
of the sidewinder.

Make me feel young again,
little lady.

- OK.
- Come on!

Hey Rooster, great party.

Honey child - how could
you do this to me?

Do what?

You promise yourself to me
forever in holy

matrimony, then you start talking to
them all like it was nothing?

I'm sorry.

I'm hurting bad, honey child.

Where?

Right here - the old ticker.

I'll make you feel better.

I can't let you do that.

Why?

I don't wanna lose respect for you.

We'll get married real soon,
I promise.

How soon?

I think I can arrange the preacher
for the day after tomorrow.

I don't know if I can hold
out that long.

Where are you going?

Back to the big building made
out of pipes and lights with

the fire on top, where you
picked me up.

Why?

Kai'll be there now, he'll
be waiting for me.

Who's Kai?

A friend.

A man friend or a lady friend?

A man friend.

Do you love him?

He's dead, there's no satisfaction
in loving a dead man.

Honey child,

you are one weird mixed up girl.
I dunno what it is,

but you drive me crazy.

How you gonna get to the refinery?

I'll stick my thumb out, like I did
when you picked me up.

Oh no you won't!

Some freak could pick you up.

I'll take you there,

- in the morning.
- OK.

Rooster -

what does an owl sound like?

Why?

Chip asked me to meet him when
I hear the sound of the owl.

Oh, and what's a mailbox?

The blue box you stick the mail
into.

Don't they have them in B3K?

No.

I thought they were the same all
across the States.

Why are you asking me this?

I agreed to meet the tall
cute dancing guy there.

- Anybody else?
- Yeah.

What's that?

That, is what Chip's gonna find
waiting for him,

just as soon as I hear his
toowit toowooing,

and the greeting card Dale's gonna
get in the mailbox.

Dr Ernst Longbore -

Kai.

I am looking for a love slave
named Xev.

She is dressed in a Cluster
lizard skin.

I dropped her at the petroleum oil
refining building.

I have searched the area and
she is no longer there.

We want to leave this planet,
will you help us?

- What do you want?
- We want to leave this planet.

Don't do that!

I'm so happy!

So, apart from the fact that you live

there, this - Earth,

what is it, a good planet or
a bad planet, or -

It's a bad planet Stanley, it's a
splendidly bad planet.

Yeah, 790 says it's a Type 13 planet.

What does that mean?

Oh, just a planet that's about to be

shrunk to the size of a pea by some

scientists looking for a particle.

You don't say.

Yeah, I do say -

so that means you should just

turn the moth around and

go back to the Lexx, and
leave with us.

What a good idea.

- Why aren't you turning around?
- Because I like this planet.

- You just said it was a bad planet.
- Yes,

and that's why I like it.

However,

I will take you up on your offer -

not just at the moment though,

as I still have many bad things
to do here,

but when I've done so many
bad things

that this planet is no fun anymore,

I will fly away in the Lexx

and find another planet to ruin -

but not necessarily with you,
Stanley Tweedle.

You put that bomb in the Lexx, didn't
you, the one that went off in its stomach?

Indirectly, yes.

Weren't you afraid you were just gonna
blow the Lexx up?

- No.
- No?

No. You don't think

that I'd expect the most powerful
weapon in the

two universes to be damaged by
a little bomb

from a Type 13 planet,

do you?

It seems to have some type of greenish
orange blood, but the

controls are clearly mechanical.

Show the symbol!

I am now zooming in on a symbol we've

seen on several parts of the UFO.

Freeze it.

Curious.

Why?

I have seen that symbol before.

Where?

A number of places. What is it?

It is the symbolic icon
of the Divine Order.

And what is the Divine Order?

The Divine Order was a clerical
organisation

that once dominated the League
of 20,000 Planets.

The Divine Order was headed
by His Divine Shadow,

a human tyrant possessed of an
insect essence -

the enemy of humankind.

You use the past tense.

What happened to the Divine Order?

It was destroyed during the Cleansing,
when all

humans from the League of 20,000
were summoned to the Cluster,

to be fed to a very large insect,
called the GigaShadow.

- Did anyone survive?
- No.

The entire universe was destroyed.

But if the universe was destroyed,

how is it that we are here now?

The universe that was destroyed
was the Light Universe,

which once existed in the
same time and space

- as the Dark Zone.
- So,

we are in the Dark Zone.

Yes -

the universe of evil,

chaos and depravity.

Hey Rooster!

What's up?

You tell me, Chip.

I'm just out for a morning walk.

Is that right?

Yeah. So, er -

- when's the wedding?
- There ain't gonna be no wedding.

Why not? Ah -

you're gonna live in sin, aren't ya?

- Nope.
- Well, what then?

There ain't gonna be no wedding,

because I'm gonna be dead.

Say what?

I'm gonna kill myself -

that is, if the cops don't
shoot me first.

Well, that's - that's real sad,
Rooster.

Especially when things are
starting to look up for ya, yeah.

Yep.

Real sad.

For me - and for you too.

What, what are you on
about there, Rooster?

Lemmee explain it to you.

I plan to shoot you square in your

double crossing chest -

right about now.

Whoa, hold on, hold on Rooster!
Come on,

come on, me and you was always
good buddies.

Look, here I am just out taking a
morning walk, and,

and thinking about you,
as a fact,

and you start putting
this crazy thing on me.

She's my woman, boy - forever.

It could be mere coincidence,

but the number of segments

in this symbol

is precisely the same as in your icon.

This was uncovered in the first
Chaldean city of

Ur in Sumeria,

approximately 4000 BC.

Once again -

the identical number
of segments,

and once again, we find it
associated with death.

This painting

hangs in a small church in the
foothills of the Carpathian mountains,

in Eastern Hungary.

Tell me your story.

Tell me your story.

My name is Dr Ernst W Longbore.

Till recently I was associated with
a team of researchers

divided between this planet's
most powerful nuclear

particle accelerators.

My team has been building ever more

powerful particle accelerators,

trying to determine the mass,

if any, of the Higgs-Boson,

in order to complete our picture of
the basic building blocks

of this universe.

But I alone realised that the
experiment we were doing

was extremely dangerous,

and would trigger a chain reaction

that would cause the entire planet
to instantly collapse

into an ultra dense particle,
about the size of a pea.

We were drowning in the sea of
our own insanity.

I tried to stop the project,

but in their blind rush to be
the first to measure

the Higgs-Boson, no-one
would listen.

I warned the government, and
for my efforts

to save the human race I was fired,

dismissed from WAARP - the
World Association

of Applied Research Physicists -

and stripped of all seven of my PhDs.

Get on your knees!

Rooster -.

Say your prayers, Chip.

Come on, buddy -

You got 10 seconds - 9,

- 8, 7-
- Rooster buddy boy, Rooster -.

6, 5,

4, 3-

Hey! Now put that down Rooster, so
as I don't have to shoot ya.

I'm gonna shoot you too, old timer.

What fer?

Couldn't catch a wink of sleep with
your damn rattling all night.

Put that gun down, Rooster.

She was my one and only woman.

Rooster!

Ain't no-one gonna mess -

- Rooster!
- with my

- woman!
- Rooster!

Rooster, what are you doing?

Rooster!

Honey child?

Yeah?

You are my

one and only woman.

Oh, Rooster.

What a waste.

Sometime within the next twelve months,

either Fermilab or CERN will reach the

power level needed to determine
the Higgs-Boson,

and therefore, within the next
twelve months,

this planet will be shrunk
to the size of a pea.

We tried to sabotage

the facilities, but they're onto us now.

We know we can't stop Fermilab or CERN,

the government will not listen to us,
the media think we are a crazed cult.

So we chose to gamble all our
limited resources

on one almost hopeless bet.

And what is that?

You. We have been searching the skies

and continuously broadcasting a
distress message into space

for two years now.

We knew that unless we were rescued
by advanced extra-terrestrials

we would all die this year, along with
every other plant, animal

and micro-organism on this
doomed planet.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- What for?
- For answering our call.

I have not answered your call.

I came to this planet with Xev,

to learn if it was a good place
for her to find

suitable men who would make
her happy.

This planet is not a good place for
anyone to do anything.

You're wrong about that - this is one
hell of a planet!

The ATF!

Wow.

How? How did you do that?

I was an assassin in the Divine Order,

6000 years ago.

Who were they?

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and
Firearms.

Why were they attempting to kill you?

We don't know exactly.

The ATF recently destroyed SETI -

the organisation that searched
for extraterrestrial life,

with which we were closely associated.

That action makes no sense, unless you

believe as I do,

that the blight of inexplicable
and irrational

events that have lately beset
this world

are a cry of pain, from a planet

that knows it is doomed.

I would like to know more about

this individual.

Why?

Will you help me find Xev?

Will you help us leave this planet?

- Yes.
- We will try to help you find her.

Now ma'am, what did you say your
story was?

Well, I promised Rooster

that I was going to marry him,

but I didn't want to hold out
two more days until we

did it, you know?

Rooster decided to have a party

to announce the wedding, and so he
invited all his friends to come over.

What friends?

All of them.

And some of them were really
nice,

you know, they said they wanted to
make love with me.

I wanted to, so
I agreed to meet them.

Who?

Well.

Chip, and Dale,

and the old guy too.

But I guess,

Rooster wasn't so happy about that,

and, and so he took his weapon
thing and went outside,

and then - they all killed
each other.

Now what'd you say you were?

I'm a love slave from the planet B3K.

And where is that?

That's in the Light Universe.

- Now is that near Abilene?
- No.

It's in a parallel universe -

but it doesn't exist anymore, since
it was destroyed by drone arms.

Well ma'am -

I'm gonna have to ask you
to turn around.

- What for?
- Just turn around.

OK.

Ma'am - I'm placing you under arrest,

on suspicion of murder.

You think I did this?

Ma'am, it don't matter what I think.

What matters is what the state
of Texas thinks.

But for now I'm gonna take
you and lock

you up, so you don't cause
any more trouble.

- Where?
- Prison.

Come on.

Get me down outta here!

I'm Stanley H Tweedle, captain
of the Lexx!

Don't worry. After a few weeks
you get used to it.

Weeks?

Resync: Xenzai[NEF]

Mikl