Original subtitles

Come on!

Go! Go!

Liberate all tortured and prisoned animals.

Look at you poor little babies! What have those nasty mendone to you?

Be free, little ones!

Nothing's gonna hurt you now.

How could they? Poor thing!

These horrible, beastly people! Run free, my feline sister!

Stop!

Karma, no!

I don't need to tell you how successful that was.

- We have to bury them! - Don't blame yourself, Sonia.

It's the fault of this whole rotten, animal hating society.

I'm sorry about your loss, we just don't have time to bury them now.

No, we must bury them!

O nobly born, in your journey through the formless void, -

- remember the unity of all living things.

We really should be going now, Sonia.

Sonia, come on!

The night watchman was found with first degree burns and head injuries.

This is not the first time militant animal-rights activists...

We interviewed an anonymous representative of TWAATS, -

- True Warriors Against Animal Torture and Subjugation.

There's a lot of fucking nutters out there!

Not only are we gonna step up our attacks, we're gonna hit harder!

No one responsible for the torture of animals should feel safe.

Furriers! vivisectionists! They are enemies of the animal kingdom.

Even everyday meat-eaters should beware!

Actually, talking about fucking nutters...

- You know... Ivan? - Ooh, he is a fucking nutter.

I owe him 4000 big ones. He helped me shift some motors.

And I managed to blow all the money before I got round to paying him.

- So you've gotta cough up the cash. - That's kind of the thing...

I couldn't tell him I'd been screwing around with his cash.

So I said I'd been busted by the cops.

He wanted to know how it happened, -

-and it just sort of slipped out.

- What? - That you'd grassed me up.

- Me?! - So now he's after your ass too.

Open the door, will ya? It's me, Flea!

- No way, man! - Hello, hello, hello.

- Look, boys, it's Roy fucking Arnie! - It's fucking Roy Arnie!

Long time no see. What brings you back to the old country?

- Wouldn't you bastards like to know? - You still in the circus game?

Aren't you getting a little old to be messin' around with circuses?

- Listen... - You know...

The circus is like a drug. Once it gets in your blood, you're hooked.

You obiously never felt that way, or you'd know what I'm talking about.

- How about you ladies? What's up?

- You know. Same old shit. - Nice shit, too.

You need a car stereo? I can fix all the latest models, mint.

- So what brings you back here? - Yeah, what's going on?

- Hey, Gaz, Odd... - Listen to this.

Boys, I got an offer for you. The big time, the big top, the circus!

- I'm hereby offering you a job. - This is exactly what he said to me!

- What are you talking about, a job? - A job at the circus?

It's this great circus from Russia.

Sex, drugs and sawdust. There are actually circus groupies!

- Circus groupies? - You ain't said nuffin about money.

- 3000 big ones for three weeks. That's what swung it for me.

The big ones.

If you're so loaded, you could probably stretch to 4000.

4000? Come on now! That... that's a little steep, isn't it?

You'll just have to do it without me, then.

I can't do it without you.

- Come on now, for old times' sake. - Ok, Ok. But only for 4000.

Alright then, but only because it's you, Odd.

- This just gets better and better! - Flea, we've already made our deal.

- You know we agreed on 3000. - Odd's gonna get more than me.

3000 for three weeks work. Where else you gonna get a deal like that?

Odd's just a little more on the ball than you.

Them's the breaks, buddy.

- What about our deal, Arnie? - We don't have a deal, Gaz.

- Four grand is cool with me. - Sorry, Gaz. Can't do it, bro.

What? But Odd...

If Odd gets 4000 and Flea gets 3000, -

I can't possibly afford another 4000 for you.

- I've got 2500. --I'm getting less than Flea!

- Them's the breaks, buddy. - Sorry about that, Gaz.

3000's just fine for me.

Stop the fuckin' car!

If I don't get my 4000, you'll have to do it without me!

Really? Well that's a pity.

I'll just have to get by with Odd and Flea.

Shit, there's Ivan! Can we please get out of here before he sees us?

What's it gonna be, Gaz?

- 3000. That's my final offer! - Sorry. No can do.

Alright, buggerit! 2500!

NORWAY Land of the midnightsun

You gonna be finished soon? I think someone's coming.

Aren't you going to have an orgasm?

Of course, otherwise it's oppression.

Of course. But your orgasm isn't my problem, right?

- Actually, it is. - No, it isn't.

- Yes, it is! - No, it isn't.

- Yes... it... is!

What's goin' on here?

I thought you guys were straight edge.

Bettina and I...

We were together eight months before we even kissed!

- What's wrong with having sex? - It's casual sex, Erik.

But it wasn't casual. We've been shagging for months!

Alright, what am I allowed to do?

If you ask me, I think everyone should be celibate.

- It's human beings that... - Celibate? Forget it!

That eat animals, and use their skins for fashion.

And exploit them for labour, and exhibit them in cages.

What has casual sex got to do with animal rights?

It's about oppression, you idiot!

Therefore, in the interest of animalkind, should stop reproducing...

We've talked about this, Sonia. That's suicide.

We should be willing to give up our lives for animal liberation!

I joined this group 'cos I was promised some action.

What do you call our last operation? Wasn't that action enough?

- The machismo is sooo tedious! - We have to start with ourselves!

You want some action? I'll give you action, and plenty of it!

The circus is coming to town!

Some dodgy circus from Russia. If the stables are anything to go by, -

we're looking at serious offenders.

There, there, Sonia, don't cry again. We'll take care of it.

We'll set the big top on fire, -

- blow those bastards sky high! - We'll put a stop to their cruelty!

And this is just the first battle in a crusade to a totally circus-free world!

Operation Circus-cision starts now!

No, it's not the hot dog, donut and Coke that's on offer.

It's the hot dog and Coke or the donut and Coke!

- That's what it says on the poster! - No, it's not.

Special Offer."Free Coke and donut with every hot dog"!

- Don't cause any trouble. - Free Coke or...

Don't throw the hot dogs, Hudmespecs!

- You'll have to pay for that, you stupid, fat bastard! -Hud ma specs!

No, don't!

- I don't want to jail. - I'm maimed for life!

Are ye no' looking forward to going moose hunting?

I'm gonna be that pissed off if I don't bag a moose this year!

It ain't that simple.

- We've got to work for it. - I've got my granddaddy's hunting rifle.

This here rifle's shot big game out in Africa.

I'm gonna shoot me a moose. And you can bet your spotty, wee arse...

I'm gonna shoot it with my granddaddy's rifle!

Maybe you should cut down on the booze?

I ain't been getting mooses 'cos I like a wee dram?

No, of course not.

We ain't getting mooses 'cos of all them amateurs up in the mountains!

Fartin' around, scarin' off the game.

It never used to be like that. Bloody foreigners got no business being up there!

Look, Hudmaspecs! Motorbikes!

- It looked like they were from Lapland. -Lapps on bikes, Hudmaspecs!

Lapps on motorbikes!

Well, let's keep moving, shall we? The moose won't wait.

It was sick!

Worst bloody porn film I've ever seen. Everyone was over 50.

Varicose veins, liver spots, beer guts, big saggy arses, bingo wings...

Like a fuckin' O.A.P. orgy!

That's my home.

Let's take a look at the stables. That'll be your main job.

You're gonna be meeting Circus Stromowsky's greatest attraction.

- This place stinks, mate!

OK! Heeeeere's Jimmy!

It's an elephant! Fuck! Whoa! That's so cool!

Is he alright? He looks kinda sick. Kinda... wasted.

- He hasn't had his morning fix yet. - You what?

We have to drug the animals, otherwise they get out of control.

That's not something you want. Imagine an elephant going bananas.

People getting trampled, kids getting squished to death.

- Y'know, it's not cool. - Crunchy little bones not cool, mate.

So he's had his fair share of smack over the years.

- He's hooked now, obviously. - He's really hooked?

- Stands to reason, dunnit? Needs a full plastic bag like every week.

- A whole fuckin' bag full of junk! - I got a whole boatload in Russia.

Wouldn't be too good if you ran out, huh? He

gets freaked if he don't get his daily dose.

But you know what's really weird? He can't stand cops!

He knows they're pigs, see? He gets all paranoid.

I think it's gotta do with him being a junkie.

You just naturally get paranoid, know what I'm sayin'?

What you gotta do is shovel out the shit and feed the animals.

- I ain't shovelling shit! - OK, then the pair of you do it.

- Why should I do it? - You don't get paid for your looks.

- Then I want as much as Odd! - I'm regretting getting you in on this.

- But I get the worst money! - I get the worst money!

- Flea and Odd, you take care of feeding. -It's only fucking fair.

- So, who's gonna shovel the shit? - Guess it'll have to be you.

- This is fuckin' marvellous!

The one who gets the shit money has to shovel the shit!

Gaz, I've got an special job for you. I need you to take good care of Jimmy.

- How come Gaz gets to do that?

- Why is that so fucking cool?

Make sure Jimmy gets the right medication at the right time.

The smack is in the Come'N'Shop bag, the speed is in the Shop'N'Come bag.

He only gets that when he's going in the ring.

If he gets the uppers when he wants the downers, he goes apeshit.

Memory lock this, Gaz: Smack in the Come'N'Shop bag, -

- speed in the Shop'N'Come bag. - Smack is in the Come'N'Shop bag...

And this is Jimmy's stuff, right? That goes for them too?

He gets it at regular times: Early in the morning and late at night.

Downs in the Shop'N'Come bag, ups in the Come'N'Shop bag...

- Hey, Jimmy?

Where is it, Jimmy? Come on now, where is it?

Can't you find it? Where's the dope, Jimmy?

- What did I do with the dope? - Come on!

I tease him a little bit, you know. But you don't wanna go too far.

'Cos that'll get him riled up, don't it, Jimmy?

A smack in the head with his trunk isn't something you forget in a hurry.

So that's the stables. This area will be your main responsibility.

Gaz, you'll be taking care of Jimmy. And then you shovel out the shit.

Lets dropp in on the big cow.

Wait, what the fuck? I'm cleaning out the shit?!

Fear not, elephriend, they'll pay for this!

Jesus Christ! I can honestly say I've never seen anything like it.

The stables are disgusting! The state of the animals... appalling!

And the elephant's a... substance abuser!

Let's blow this whole freak show back to Russia!

- Animal liberators, straight edgers... -He's a drug addict!

We... this is big!

Our struggle has become greater and more significant than ever, -

- but it is now crowned with a symbol! -A symbol?

An elephant! Drugged up, kept down and exploited in the ring!

Living in degradation, wallowing in his own muck and addicted to drugs!

- Jimmy, the Junkie Elephant! - He's addicted?!

If there's a rehab for elephants, can we take him?

Yes! We are going to free him from the brutality of the circus!

We are going to rescue him from the hell of substance abuse!

We, the TWAATS, shall crush the circus menace once and for all!

- Not just here, but across the world! - We're still gonna blow it up, right?

Roy Arnie!

Roy Arnie, these are your friends. Good strong boys.

- And these we can trust? - The stable will be as safe as...

This is cause for great celebration! No intruders will stick their noses there.

Vodka, my friends. Real Russian Stolichnaya vodka!

- This circus bloke's alright, Arnie. - Yeah, I could get used to this.

Fill 'er up, Odd. Right to the top.

- Anyone for a little pick-me-up? - Yeah, let's skin up, man!

- What about them groupies, Arnie? - Yeah, I'd really like to meet them.

You sure you wanna meet them?

Roy Arnie...

Wake up, Roy Arnie!

You have to wake up! Schnell!

- Get off, will ya? - We've overslept!

- We open in an hour! - Oh, shit!

- Them black bombers were mental! - What about that Russian vodka?

- There is already a queue! - What are we supposed to do now?

Christ on a bike, it's showtime!

Showtime?

Roll up, roll up!

Roll up, roll up! Come on, folks, don't be shy!

Russia's very best circus! Step right up.

Buy your tickets right here.

Tickets! Get your tickets right here!

- Five tickets please! - No problem. Five tickets.

It's suitable for kids.

Give me three tickets! Three tickets coming up.

- Is it my sales technique, or what? - Where exactly is this circus from?

Lady and gentleman, boys and girl!

Madame Svetlana and her horses!

- Thought there was like fit birds... - I don't know who I fancy more, her or...

Poor thing...

Ok, let's see...

Ladies gentlemen, boys and girl!

The legendary, incomparable, world-famous wizard of balance!

From Belarus I give you: Baluostrado!

- Wizard of balance, my ass! - That must've really hurt.

Baloustrado demonstrate just how difficult these tricks really are.

- Lady and gentlemen, Baloustrado! - Do me a favour...

The great Baloustrado!

Baloustrado will perform his most daring and absolutely...

- Somebody stop him! - I can't watch this anymore.

It is of the utmost importance -

- that I have the greatest... possible... silence!

Is this supposed to be entertainment?

- Bloody sadism, if you ask me. - Just plain nasty.

Hilarious clowns, all the way from the Ukraine.

Lady and gentlemen, I give you Flip, Flap and Flop!

- These clowns are rubbish. - They were supposed to be funny.

- My sides are really aching. - Hardly the greatest show on Earth.

What do you know? When I was a nipper, the circus was-

-my favourite place in the world.

There was a guy asking a lot of questions when I was selling tickets.

- What kind of questions? - Complicated ones.

- Did foreigners work here... - Undercover cops!

That's exactly what he looked like, a fuckin' nark!

I told him Roy Arnie Mohann makes sure everything's kosher around here.

You said that? No! I've got a record, you stupid prick!

I think he's ready. I got him all sorted out. Hope I got it right.

I hope so too.

My fucking wages depend on his going right. He better behave himself.

- If he does screw up... - ...the Indian elephant!

That's it, Jimmy. Good boy!

That's fine, Jimmy. That's fine!

That's it, Jimmy!

Jimmy, ladies and gentlemen!

Jimmy!

Now you pissed me off!

Jimmy!

Those poor animals are being delivered into the hands -

- of the worst abusers of all: veterinarians!

Shit, that was a close one. We could've all ended up in the can.

It wasn't my fucking fault!

You gave Jimmy too much speed. Got him paranoid.

It was my first day on the job!

- Flea, you grassed me up, you bastard. - How was I supposed to know...

Shut your fat fucking face!

I can't believe I hired you buttholes!

And now we've got an emergency. Stromowsky's takin' the flak.

- What about my tour? - There ain't gonna be no tour.

They confiscated the animals and chucked them Russkies out.

The tour was hardly gonna set the world on fire, with that circus.

Beer! Come on! Fuck! They've got beer!

I just found some gear in my pocket. Filth didn't bother to search us.

Well, that's that. Let's get pissed up, and have a puff!

- Poor Jimmy. - It's no picnic being an addict.

Hell no. Put yourself in Jimmy's shoes right now.

You're standing there, no familiar faces. No Roy Arnie-

- with a Shop'N'Come bag... Weren't the downers in the Come'N'Shop?

I meant Come'N'Shop... And you're just in a sort of limbo.

- You feel the cramps starting. - You can't sleep.

You puke and you crap.

- You're all alone. Time passes. - But it passes so fuckin' slowly.

And after a while you get it:

No one's gonna come around, stroke your trunk and give you shit.

- You got me all teary-eyed. - Think about it!

I feel so bad. Could you guys help me out, for my... for Jimmy's sake?

- Is it really as bad as all that? - They'll take good care of him.

Don't you understand? He'll be sick now.

Sick as a dog!

But it's not our problem, is it? Tell the cops.

Sure. Right, Flea!

You guys ever participated in a good deed?

We must follow them and discover where the stolen goods are hidden.

- What's really goin' on here? - You scratch my back...

What's the fuckin' deal with Jimmy? I've grown very attached to him.

This reminds me of a guy I know. Crazy about animals.

He used to buy dogs abroad and bring 'em back over.

Thing is, he wasn't an animal lover, he was a dope smuggler.

He'd open up the dogs and stick bags of gear inside.

- Smart. - very smart.

Why don't you start from the begining, Roy Arnie?

The thing is that Jimmy... He's worth about... a million.

- And I'm only getting 3000? - Look, I'll give you ten per cent.

Buying beers now, are you, animal abusers?

Tonight's the night! We're gonna break in and liberate Jimmy!

And then we're gonna... gonna... What were we gonna do with him?

Jimmy is the ultimate symbol of the animal liberation movement!

Jimmy the elephant is gonna be bigger than... bigger than...

The World Wildlife Fund panda!

That's not difficult. Pandas aren't that fucking big.

I'm talking figuratively, Erik. And don't swear so much.

Sorry. Is swearing not considered straight edge either?

- No, it's got to do with... - What am I allowed to do?

That devious fucker cut open Jimmy and sewed seven K's of into his backside.

Seven bloody K's of heroin which he ripped off the Russian mafia.

- I didn't rip it off. I found it! - Right.

In the boot of a wrecked car on smuggler's trail.

You must've known it was mafia property, you toilet!

Of course they'd want it back. I didn't think they'd trace circus.

- There's something I want to know. - Good thing I got it stashed.

Lucky you managed to shake off them Russian gangsters.

Plumbing the depths of my honesty bag, that's not entirely true...

When we got to the border, we got searched by Russian customs.

Since the dogs didn't find nothing, I assumed they thought we were clean.

But you know who comes after us then?

The fuckin' Lappish mafia-

-get in on the act as well.

- Lapland has a mafia? - Real hard bastards.

Close connections with the Russkies, drugs, prostitution...

We've got the Lappish mafia after us? - Let's say you were a little mouse.

I'm a mouse?

A mouse that found cheese. Then a cat comes after you, -

- then a dog. Well I'm that mouse, -

- and Jimmy is the cheese and the key to my dream:

The Roy Arnie Circus!

OK, but how are we gonna get the dope out of Jimmy?

Unfortunately, Gaz, there's only one way.

You're not! Are you gonna... kill Jimmy?

Before you get weepy: There's a million worth of heroin in elephant's ass!

I never thought I'd hear somebody say that.

- Where the fuck is Flea? - Relax, -

- we've got to get a car big enough to hold an elephant.

If there's one thing Flea's good at, it's nicking cars.

Piece of piss, mate!

Jimmy?

Jimmy...

There you are, Jimmy. Cool!

Hey, I found him!

Hey, Jimmy, I'm your friend.

I'm on your side, Jimmy. I've come to help you.

Good boy, good boy... We're gonna be friends, you and me.

OK, you wanna be friends too, huh?

But, what the...?

- He's getting away! After him, Erik! - Why me? Where the fuck is Marius?

Fuckin' easy once I'd found it, parked sorta funny in a field.

You got the Come'N'Shop and Shop'N'Come bags?

- How get the stuff out of them dogs? - Killed them!

- That's what Roy Arnie's gonna do. - Fuck off! Is he?

Yeah, man. He said so.

- How kill something that big? - Can't whack it with a lead pipe.

It's not like you're killing something small, like a cat.

Me and a mate used to put an ad in the papers:

"Need any unwanted pets taken care of?"

Stick 'em in a sack and whack 'em with an iron bar.

How you gonna do it? Push Jimmy off a cliff or something?

- That's not a bad idea. - Kittens were easy. Meow!

- Like you gave a shit, Arnie. - Talk about crocodile tears.

Yeah, how low can you go? Have you guys ever done a good deed?

Help someone murder an elephant, that's a real good deed!

If that's a good deed, I'm glad I got thrown out of the scouts.

Shut up, you're all in this as much as I am.

- It's cold. - Yeah, I'm freezing my ass off.

Everything's working. Look, heating's on full blast.

- My nips are pinging. - Stop moaning. It's on full blast.

It doesn't seem to be helping. Not even a little bit!

You stole a truck without a windshield, you stupid bastard!

There's no window!

I don't fucking believe it! You didn't notice that?

So I shouldn't have taken it because it didn't have a windscreen?

You suggesting we drive over the moors in a truck with no windshield?

How could you not see it?

I just didn't, OK?

You weren't exactly quick on the uptake either.

- What the hell are you doing? - It's a red light, for chrissake!

- Jimmy! - It's definitely an elephant.

How in the hell did he get here?

Stop!

We better get him on the truck quick. He sticks out a bit, doesn't he?

No shit, Gaz, you think he sticks out?

Jimmy...

Yeah, come here, Jimmy. Yeah, I've got your goodies.

Come and get it. Come and get it, Jimmy.

It's medication time.

- Come on! - That's it. Good boy.

- He's eating them. - He'll be fine now. He's happy.

Everything's gonna be OK now.

Get your asses out here. We gotta get him loaded onto the truck!

I don't believe it! They've hidden the loot inside the elephant!

- What d'you mean, inside the elephant? -We must call the Russians!

No, Ante, are you stupid?

We'll keep it all for ourselves!

- Elephants don't disappear. - Maybe it wanted back to the circus.

Willingly go back to the abuse? Are you completely stupid?

It's those Lapps again. What are they up to?

- Maybe they're after Jimmy too. - Oh, that's just genius, Erik.

I think that's exactly what they're doing.

You know what Lapps are like. Animal abusers, the lot of them.

Let's follow them!

- What if it starts to rain? - Or snow.

It's below zero, man. My nuts are frozen to the seat.

- Shouldn't he've calmed down by now? - Yeah, he should be nicely toasted.

Toasted, my ass!

Give him some more stuff, for chrissakes! Give him some more dope!

- Cool it, Jimmy! - Get him off him!

No, don't do it!

Jesus, Flea, do you mind not driving like a twat?

- It's not me driving! - Then brake!

No, Jimmy. Jimmy, it's me, Roy Arnie.

I got drugs, it's OK, Jimmy...

Jesus! Elephant puke! Odd?

Shit, Odd, you almost drowned. Just like Jimi Hendrix!

- Jimi Hendrix? - Yeah, he drowned in vomit, right?

Yeah, in his own vomit!

- Hey, over here! - The door won't open, let me out!

Are you gonna thank me, or what?

- A truck without a windscreen, eh? - What are you doing, Gaz?

It won't open because it's hitting a fucking rock!

What happened to Jimmy?

- He ran off. That way. - Why didn't Jimmy calm down?

What's the matter with you?

- The door won't open! - He swallowed one of Jimmy's pills.

We gave him the wrong shit, from the Shop'N'Come bag!

We gave Jimmy the wrong stuff. It should've been the Come'N'Shop.

Jimmy's got the speed instead of the dope!

- That explains why Gaz is so munted. - The door won't open!

Crawl outta the window, you fuckin' moron!

What?

- We gotta find Jimmy! - He went that way!

We gotta find Jimmy! Can't stand here with our thumbs up our asses.

He's off his head! Give us one of them.

Wait up, now!

I gots to get the Shop'N'Come... I mean the Come'N'Shop bag.

Jimmy!

Get your grey arse down here, for fuck sake!

- I'm knackered! - Jimmy!

I can't go on! I wanna go home!

Please help us find Jimmy. For the love of God, man. Please!

He's gotta be in serious cold turkey by now.

He can't be far off.

- This is fuckin' hopeless. - We can't give up.

I'll lose... We'll lose everything. My whole circus will go to hell.

- Let me rest. I can't take it. - Yes, you can. Come on!

Jimmy!

Jimmy...

- Drugs. - No!

Check it out!

- We'll blow those bastards sky high! - Sonia, don't cry again.

- Screw this, I'm knackered. - We have to find Jimmy.

- We have to find... - I'm freezing my balls off.

We've been looking for ages, man. This is so fucked!

- Totally pointless. - I want to go home!

- Jimmy...

Ah, the beauty of the mountains! It's so great to get away from-

-the city, noise, cars, pollution.

From the frantic pace, the crime, all those people...

Everything is so clean and untouched. Somehow innocent.

These self-service cabins are a terrific place for gentle nature lovers like us.

This is going to be the best holiday we ever had.

- This is bloody brilliant! - Thank Christ, we're saved!

About fucking time!

Look at that, man, fucking coffee! Oh shit!

Jesus, I'm hungry!

- Could eat the hair out of my armpit. - You better be quick then.

There's tonnes of food. Look!

I don't think I ever in my life tasted food this good.

- I think we should open another can. - They've even got beer.

Know what we need now? Some decent sounds.

- This is like a gift from God! - I smell puke.

- Who's blown chunks? - It's Jimmy puke.

We're startin' to thaw. If we'd stayed out there much longer-

-we would have frozen to death.

Chaps, there's beds in here! Fuck me, they look good!

- And there's sleeping bags too. - I'll just turn in for the night.

- How come you get the sleeping backs? - We're drenched in elephant puke.

Am I asking too much? Am I being unreasonable?

I'm starting to get warm now. This is so fuckin' nice!

Putting my head on a pillow has never felt this good. Never.

Hudmaspecs has been a nightmare.

Will he ever get over what happened last year with that Pakistani fella?

- Are you crazy? Never. - An Asian shooting his moose.

He took it very hard. The moose in his sights, finger on the trigger, -

- when that Pakistani fellow came along and... bang!

Good thing we got him back to camp before he figured it out.

Lucky for the Pakistani fella, not for us.

I pure shat myself, the look he gave me today.

There was something in his eyes, something dangerous.

As long as he's bottling up that anger it ain't safe up here!

We've got to get us a moose tomorrow. If not, the shite gonna hit the fan.

Do not approach the elephant.

It is considered very dangerous.

The public can recognize the elephant by its trunk and face...

Y'know, honey, I'm sure that if we treat these gentlemen with respect-

- they'll understand that the sleeping bags are ours.

They're non-Americans, Harve. Speak to them.

You're good with the ethnically challenged.

Hey, they're here, the little shits!

You know, I think maybe we just got the wrong impression here.

We'll smoke the assholes out there! Fucking wankers!

If we just talk to them, very politely...

It's burning! Harvey, the cabin is on fire!

Shit, man, what's all this noise?

Open the window, it's too hot.

- Odd... - What filthy fucker's smoking in bed?

Open the window, will you? It's really hot in here.

- Hey, take it easy! - I'm sleeping here.

- Oh shit... - Where's the elephant?

No!

What's happenin', man?

Hey, Hudmaspecs, I bet there's a whole lotta grouses in those bushes!

No, I'm after something big!

- Jesus, I feel sick. - I've never been this hung over.

You're gonna feel a lot worse if Hudmaspecs doesn't bag a moose.

What if we spread out?

- There's nay much moose around here. - But there's nay many people either.

Wow, this is such an exciting operation.

You don't care that there's an elephant out there hooked on drugs!

When I was an eco-terrorist at least we all had cars!

- Are cars eco-friendly? - We can't give up now!

This is the mission of our lives! Liberating an elephant.

- Watch out... - We...

Let get some drugs and use them as bait.

When he comes to get them, we can just grab him.

- That is just genius, Lise! - Got any better ideas?

Here we are putting our lives on the line for the animals.

And all you two can do is argue and complain about everything!

- It's Erik. - You need to examine your attitude.

You girls always stick together. I'm so fucking sick of...

We agreed about your swearing.

And you always side with them.

You fucking creep! You cocksucking, camel-fucking, PC Nazi!

One: I am not siding with the girls!

Two: I am... by no means... a camel-fucker!

- You're not siding with the girls? - Fuck this! I'm outta here.

What's your problem? Perhaps you-

- should reconsider your behaviour. - Fuck off!

You can't just walk away from our relationship like this!

Forget about them. They haven't been truly with us for a long time.

There are more important things on the agenda. Check it out.

Come on!

For God's sake, stay on your feet!

Roy Arnie, listen up...

- Odd, please... - Shut your face, Flea!

- But look over there! It's Jimmy! - The elephant!

I'm gonna run up to the ridge and have a look. Good idea?

Oh well, I'll give it a try anyways.

- God no! - What's happening?

I'm seeing things. I'm having visions.

The doctor said to go easy on the booze, and now it's happened.

What ya seeing? Spiders, is it?

Elephants! I'm seeing elephants in the middle of the day!

Delirium tremens. I've always been scared of getting it.

A vegetable for the rest of your life!

You talkin' about pink elephants, like in the cartoons?

Eddie's been overdosing on cartoons.

I didn't say it was pink!

Rather dead than living like a vegetable seeing elephants...

Don't do it, Eddie! You haven't got the D.T.'s! We can see him too.

What is an elephant doing up here? Where did he come from?

There was a circus in town. Maybe he ran away?

- How did he get this far? - What should we do?

That elephant is mine!

- This isn't like shooting a moose. - He belongs to someone.

And they're probably right behind that hill.

They...

- What are you saying? - They're gonna...

- What's going on? - They're gonna shoot Jimmy!

- Look, Hudmaspecs... - He shot my moose, -

- so I'm gonna shoot his elephant. An eye for an eye. It's only fair.

Holy shit! You see that, man? They blew his head off!

- What happened? - Look! I've loosened my ropes!

That was an accident. No doubt about it.

A prime example of an accidental discharge.

It was the moose! The moose pushed Hudmaspecs!

It was almost as if the moose came to help the elephant.

- The elephant! - The elephant must not escape!

- Let's get out of here! - Where the hell is Jimmy?

- Jimmy's gone! - Where to?

He just disappeared.

True Warriors Agains Animal Torture and Subjugation! Weapons down!

- Hud ma specs... - Where the fuck did he come from?

That's all we need. The animal lib.

- He's got a hand grenade! - I don't care! I'll blow us to hell!

I'm gonna fuckin' flatten this guy!

- I am prepared to kill myself! - I'll do that for ya.

Die in peace, Marius! Take some animal abusers along with you!

We will save Jimmy!

Is he a little slow in the head?

Fuckin' loony tune.

Jimmy!

- Jimmy! - Jimmy!

- Motorbikes? - Stop, no!

Stay away from the elephant! He's mine!

- I mean it! I'll blow us all up! - Get away from him, ya wee shite!

Get off or we die!

If it's your elephant, you'd better be ready...

- Hudmaspecs, you're alive! - Fuckin' foreigners!

The elephant... shoulda been mine! Y'hear me?

At least we didn't get blown to pieces.

- Come on! - Are you outta your mind?

That elephant is not right in the head.

Come on then, Jimmy! It's medication time.

That's it. Come on. Every little thing gonna be alright, Jimmy.

Don't you recognize me, Jimmy?

Check him out, he's guzzling them all.

- I'm shaking like a leaf. - I nearly shat myself.

Oh shit!

Don't do it, Jimmy!

No, no, Karma!

Karma, no!

Once upon a time there was a little mouse.

And this little mouse found himself a well-deserved piece of cheese.

Oh my God!

Now it's our turn, man!

Come on. He can't be far off.

Just leave it, will you, Arnie? What're we gonna do when we find him, anyway?

Come on. We'll split it up even.

What the fuck?

Stop that beast!

Stop!

No.

I thought we'd had our chips!

- I wanna go home. - Where the hell's Jimmy, man?

Jimmy!

We are going home. Now!

The police have no theory regarding the six people found dead.

According to a spokesperson the two tourists were shot...

We're selling all this circus crap! You owe us, man.

You fuckin' try it!

We'll split it fair, just help me find Jimmy.

I don't give a shit about your stupid, fucking circus.

No, I'm gonna find Jimmy! I don't care if he's dead or alive.

He's out there and I'm gonna find him.

I'll find him and start over again. My dream will come true:

- The Roy Arnie Circus! - For chrissakes, do me a favour.

Stop slamming that fuckin' whip around. Makes me nervous.

And get out of that circus clobber. It's getting on my tits.

You are obsessed.

And Flea, why the fuck are you wearing that clown costume?

I was thinking maybe I could become, like, a circus clown.

- Don't you think I'd make a good clown? -You'd make a great clown.

Flea ain't a fuckin' artist. He'd never make a clown. Look at him.

What the hell you doing, you silly bastard?

- My eye! - Flea?

- You blinded Flea! - I didn't hit you that hard.

What do you know about the circus? You're so fucking full of it!

He's messed things up once too often.

Bust his nut, Flea! Actually, I'll do it myself!

Fuck your stupid circus! And this is for Jimmy, you bastard!

- Jimmy was cool, man! - Even if he was an elephant!

- Especially considering he was an elephant. -I'll find Jimmy...

and get my circus...

Jimmy!

Dedicated to JOACHIM NIELSEN 1964-2000

Untertitel: Christian Kuhrt Broadcast Text