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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,360 At the moment, David, I have nine boyfriends. 2 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,840 And then, of course, I also have my husband. 3 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,880 And none of them know about each other. 4 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,680 It's a full-time job. 5 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,360 I don't know how I always let this happen. 6 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,640 Well, Brenda, this sounds like a textbook expression 7 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,280 of an addictive personality. 8 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,320 What does that mean, David? 9 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,120 Uh, people with addictive personalities are impulsive. 10 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,600 They're sensation-seeking. 11 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,000 You may find that this facet of your personality-- 12 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,200 Facet. 13 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,080 -For God's sake. -[David] Okay, Maggie. 14 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,280 You've talked about your daughter in the group before. 15 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,080 How would you characterize that relationship? 16 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,800 Is it steady? Consistent? 17 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,440 It's a mess. She hates me. I need her. 18 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,120 Mae. 19 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,640 -Hello. -[David] You've mentioned feeling 20 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,600 anxious about your girlfriend before. 21 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,640 Do you think there's some part of you that enjoys or attracts intensity and drama? 22 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,240 Um, no, we're actually very good right now. 23 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,680 It was stressful and then now it's very good. 24 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,800 It's just the greatest love story ever told, so it's incredibly chill. 25 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,200 Well, that's wonderful, darling. 26 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,960 Has she introduced you to her friends then? 27 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,840 Uh, you can transform a toxic relationship into a healthy one. 28 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,880 I've been with my partner, Stuart, for 11 years 29 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,560 and we've had our difficulties. 30 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,800 He's entirely dependent on me financially. 31 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:27,960 [phone buzzes] 32 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,960 But ultimately you've gotta settle in. You can't just operate on adrenaline. 33 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,520 Wha-- I... I gotta go. 34 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,560 Sorry, my uncle needs a lift to karate. 35 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,480 [rock music playing] 36 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:44,560 [men vocalizing] 37 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,120 Oh, my God. I didn't think you'd actually come. 38 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,920 You said to come as a matter of urgency. 39 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,320 Yeah, I ran home and then I ran here. I ran like Tom Cruise. 40 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,960 Oh, my God. I'm gonna lose my job. 41 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,640 -What the fuck is wrong with me? -Wait. 42 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,200 -Did anyone see you? -Yeah, a kid saw me. 43 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,120 But guess what? 44 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,000 I told them I was a ghost and they believed me. 45 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,280 -No. [laughs] -How are you? 46 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,440 -How's your day going? -No, there's no time. 47 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,880 Wait. Why did you run home before you ran here? 48 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,520 I got the dick. I got a strap-on. 49 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,280 Oh, my God, great. Can you put it on? 50 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,920 -Yeah, or you could. -What? 51 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,400 I don't know. You could put it on. You've never really worn it. 52 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,480 Yeah, I have, but I hold it in my hand like a weapon, like it's the same thing. 53 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,800 -Is it the same thing? -Mae, it really suits you. 54 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,960 -I don't think I'd suit a massive cock. -[Mae] I really think you would actually, 55 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,000 -but okay. -George! 56 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,680 Joyce... is there. That's good, yeah. I was just fixing that, sorry. 57 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,080 It was a little squeaky, like a mouse, so it's fixed. 58 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,440 -So, I've got the scoop. -Okay, what scoop? 59 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,320 -Okay, you know the fit new PE teacher? -Yeah. 60 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,240 You know how we said we wanted to be the field 61 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,640 and let him be the sprinklers 62 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,000 and he could irrigate us until we were fertile. 63 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,720 -Did I say that? -He's single. 64 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,600 Praise the Lord! He's single. 65 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,400 -May the best woman win. -Okay. 66 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,240 [deep voice] May the odds be ever in your favor. 67 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,000 [laughs] 68 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,440 -The Hunger Games, George. -Oh. 69 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,760 Well, I've got to go make a papier-mâché model 70 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,440 of the female reproductive system, so... 71 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,640 Well, great. 72 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,080 Okay, thanks, Joyce. 73 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,880 -Hi. -Hello. 74 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,640 Oh, Mae, come on. It's Joyce. 75 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:24,440 I don't talk to Joyce about my personal life. 76 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,520 Okay. I'm gonna make you come, then you can fuck me. 77 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,880 I don't think I can come, George, 78 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,520 'cause I'm not the one that gets turned on from being in a closet, 79 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,840 if you catch my drift. 80 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,680 Look, how can you not think this is fit? 81 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,360 Okay, it's forbidden. It's like the Montagues and the Capulets. 82 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:37,800 I've never seen Macbeth. 83 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,360 [school bell rings] 84 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,040 -[door slams] -Oh, my God. 85 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,360 No. Are you serious? 86 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,920 I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry. 87 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,000 [alternative pop music playing] 88 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,600 Okay, so who did the assignment that I set on Friday? 89 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,680 Can you take out your papers for the test? 90 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,840 ♪ Close all the doors ♪ 91 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:10,400 ♪ Turn off tonight And let those thin ribbons of light ♪ 92 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,320 [camera clicks] 93 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,800 -♪ Work their way... ♪ -[phone beeps] 94 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,760 -♪ Try and remember what I've seen ♪ -[snickers] 95 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,280 ♪ Raid upon eyes... ♪ 96 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,240 Thanks, everyone! 97 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,760 Bye, yep, see you tomorrow, yep! 98 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:30,640 Hello. 99 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:31,720 [exhales] 100 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,440 Mae, Mae, Mae, Mae, Mae. 101 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,360 Wait, wait, wait. 102 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,160 Can you go out the window? 103 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,400 I'll pick you up from your gig. 104 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,800 [bell clanging] 105 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,080 [vocalizing in falsetto] 106 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,000 Guys. 107 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,160 Hey, hey, hey. Hey! 108 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,800 That was the worst show I have ever hosted in my entire life. 109 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,920 -What happened? -I thought it was brilliant. 110 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,560 -I had a great time. -You had your eyes closed the entire set. 111 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:02,760 What do you mean? 112 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,600 Mae. What the fuck? 113 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,480 Sorry, I just wasn't feeling it. 114 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,960 I don't know why I bombed so hard. 115 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,400 -Well, I do. It's obvious. -What? 116 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,360 What's the common denominator every time you bomb? 117 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,840 It's 'cause you're having some problem or some argument with your girl-- 118 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:18,840 [George] Hello. 119 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,640 Nick, why have you stopped talking? 120 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,360 What's happening? 121 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,640 -Look... come on. Let's go. -Where are we going? 122 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,840 [Nick] Mae. Excuse me. 123 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,600 [Nick] Fuck! 124 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,400 Well, well, well. 125 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,360 So, well, how did it go? 126 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,120 Not good. Very not good. 127 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,200 -I was insecure the whole time. -I really like it when you're insecure 128 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:45,320 because you touch your hair a lot and it's really fit. 129 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,240 Look, I'm really sorry about earlier, okay, but I'm going to make it up to you. 130 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:51,680 How? 131 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:56,800 Sorry. 132 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,280 -What? Mae, stop apologizing. It's okay. -Sorry. 133 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:00,960 I don't know what's wrong. 134 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,360 I'm so close. 135 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,960 I've been so close for like 45 minutes. 136 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,720 I'm not in a hurry. Okay? 137 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,440 I just-- I might just have to switch hands in a minute. 138 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,360 Oh, my God, no. This is humiliating. 139 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,360 No, Mae, no. It happens to everyone, okay. 140 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,520 Not to me. 141 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,800 I can usually come just from thinking about the musical Chicago. 142 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,560 -Well, then it is my fault. -No. 143 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,320 Look, why don't I just go down on you again? 144 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,160 -Why don't I fuck you again? -No, Mae, please, come on. 145 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,760 I really want you to come. 146 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:27,800 Okay? 147 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,960 Can you say that again? But, like, in the voice of Susan Sarandon. 148 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,040 Um, okay. My... 149 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,480 My name is Susan Sarandon. 150 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:40,920 -A little lower. -[deep voice] My-- 151 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,280 -Mmm. -My name is Susan Sarandon 152 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,040 and I really want you to come. 153 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:47,920 -Yeah, that's good. -Yeah? 154 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,160 Can you say more stuff? 155 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:53,240 Oh, my favorite role, well, Thelma & Louise 156 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,560 -was a commercial-- -Okay, not about Thelma & Louise, 157 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,720 like stuff about me. 158 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,200 Oh, yeah. 159 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:00,480 Like can you tell me, 160 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,280 like, tell me that you don't want me to come. 161 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,640 Um, I don't-- 162 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,320 -In the voice of Susan Sarandon, please. -Oh, okay. 163 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,400 My name is Susan Sarandon, 164 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:14,480 and if you come, I will be absolutely furious. 165 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,720 Fuck, yeah. 166 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,560 -I will be so angry. -How angry? 167 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:19,960 I will be so angry, 168 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,680 that I will close down all the cinemas in the land. 169 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,440 -[Phil] Yeah! -[woman moaning loudly] 170 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,400 Oh, my God. Is that Phil? 171 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:29,440 [woman] Oh, God! 172 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,200 What's wrong with me? 173 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,880 [Mae groans] 174 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,480 Mae, look at me. Look at me. 175 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,200 Mae. 176 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,320 What would make you happy in this moment? 177 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,760 Okay, just say anything, I won't be freaked out. 178 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,120 I want to do a role-play. 179 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,920 I want to do, like, a fit role-play 180 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,440 where, like, your parents come around for dinner 181 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,040 and I get to meet them and then they leave and then we bone fresh. 182 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,480 Uh, yeah, okay. I really want to do a sexual role-play 183 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,160 that involves my parents? 184 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,880 Come on, I've just completely lost my boner. 185 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,720 Okay, forget your parents. What about your friends? 186 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:04,840 You know, like one friend, 187 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,800 say we're out, we bump into one of your friends. 188 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,600 You're like, "Hi, this is my girlfriend, Mae" 189 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,240 -and I'll jizz everywhere. -Mae, 190 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,760 I'm really sorry, I'm really tired. Can we... 191 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,400 Can we just go to sleep? 192 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,880 Look, there's less litter everywhere. 193 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,960 Less graffiti, lots of lovely little cafes... 194 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,800 [laughing] Oh, my God! 195 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:34,200 Oh, look at that massive cock. Oh, Hugh would love that. 196 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,160 If you have any questions, my name is Chella Goble. 197 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,960 Would you like to come in for some oolong tea? 198 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,520 -Yeah-- -No, actually, no, thank you. 199 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,960 Oh, what are you going to wear tonight? 200 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,160 I don't think I can make it tonight, Binks. 201 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,320 What? George! It's Hugh's birthday. 202 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,360 I know, I'm sorry. I really, I just... I'm just busy. 203 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,320 Because you're hanging out with Jonathan Crenshaw? Just bring him. 204 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,160 It's really weird that we haven't met him yet. 205 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,080 How are things going? 206 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,000 Um... 207 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,080 They're not-- No, actually, it's fine. Yeah. 208 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,720 Babe, George, what's happening? 209 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,440 I can't make him come. 210 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,720 -What? -No, Binky. No, I know. 211 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,960 He's really experienced and I... 212 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,920 Maybe I'm bad in bed. 213 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,920 Just suck his dick. Is he gay? My God, hilarious. Let's ask Chella Goble. 214 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:18,880 -No. -Excuse me. Hi. 215 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,680 Um, my friend can't make her boyfriend come, 216 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,320 so, what should she do, please? 217 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,160 Well, let me start by thanking you for your candor. 218 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,520 -Well... -During sex, do you find yourself 219 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:29,760 taking a passive role? 220 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,640 Um, no, I go down on him loads. 221 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,720 What do you mean "passive"? That's what sex is. 222 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:39,280 Um, lots of men enjoy relinquishing control through anal play. 223 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,240 We have a huge range of strap-ons. 224 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,040 Strap-ons are disgusting. 225 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,600 -Oh, yeah. -[Chella] Okay. 226 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,720 What about a role-play scenario? We have many costumes. 227 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,360 Okay, this is weird actually, I'm going. 228 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,160 George, can you buy that massive cock for me? 229 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,240 -And I'll see you in the cafe. -[George] Okay. 230 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,720 Um... 231 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,400 Can I have some of that oolong tea? 232 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,120 -Of course, yeah. -Thank you. 233 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,000 Your friend's a real bitch. 234 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,240 [George] Well, yeah. Yeah. 235 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:06,080 [man] So funny. 236 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,160 -Oh, thanks. Thanks, man. -It was great. 237 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,360 -You were good. -Thanks. 238 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,800 Oh, my God. It's you. 239 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,000 -Maggie's daughter. -Yes. 240 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,520 -Lava. -Laura. 241 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,840 My mum was high when she named me Lava. I hate it. 242 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,880 I really like it. 243 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,480 What are you doing here? Who are you here to see? 244 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,760 You said you were a comedian so I looked you up. 245 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,400 -You looked me up? -Yes. That's what I just said. 246 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,000 Okay, cool. 247 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,360 I wanted to ask you if you meant it. 248 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,480 About my mum being good. I want to know. 249 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,200 Oh, my God. She's the best. 250 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:44,720 She's my sponsor and she takes care of me and she, like, helps me stay clean 251 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,800 and we do pottery together. 252 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,280 She wants to meet up. 253 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,280 I really think you should. 254 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,280 She's, like, my rock. 255 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:54,720 Thanks. 256 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,400 See you around. 257 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:57,800 Okay, bye. 258 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,360 Is that true what you said onstage? 259 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:02,560 You can't come? 260 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,080 Yeah. 261 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,560 I think I have some problem. I should go to the doctor, but... 262 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,200 -What makes you think it's your problem? -What do you mean? 263 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,680 If you were my girlfriend, I'd make you come in under a minute. 264 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:14,920 Uh... 265 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,240 [alternative ballad playing] 266 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,520 [women vocalizing] 267 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,440 George, I think we need to talk about-- Oh, my God! 268 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:31,760 What is happening? 269 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,200 I'd love to talk, Mae, but I'm afraid you're under arrest. 270 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,640 -No. Really? -Oh, yeah. 271 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,480 -What for? -For war crimes. 272 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,760 No. For being actually too fit. 273 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,360 Too fit for the streets. 274 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,720 -Cool. -You're a danger. 275 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,960 Can I speak to my lawyer? 276 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:46,960 Um... 277 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,880 Oh. No, you can't, actually. 278 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,760 No, because he's actually got a day off, thank you, for personal reasons. 279 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,000 Oh, what personal reasons? 280 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,200 'Cause his kid's got ALS. 281 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,520 -No! -No. 282 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,880 George, we need to talk, I think. 283 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,320 No, sorry, my name isn't George, Mae. 284 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,200 -What is your name? -My name is Detective Parks. 285 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,160 -Detective Rosa Parks. -No. 286 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,400 Oh, my God, Mae. I spent £300 on this uniform. 287 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,320 And look. 288 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,440 I mean... 289 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,320 -It's too big. -But... 290 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,360 Look, I just think I really need you to, like, 291 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,560 just be my girlfriend. 292 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,200 Oh, I am your girlfriend. 293 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,560 Yeah, you are when we're alone in this apartment, 294 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,560 but I don't want to just exist in this apartment 295 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,440 and it feels like you want to keep me here, like Rapunzel. 296 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,400 -Fit. -Not fit. I don't want to be Rapunzel. 297 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,680 I want to meet your friends. 298 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,520 I think I need to meet your friends, like now. 299 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,880 I know, I just... 300 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,120 It's just scary. I'm scared. 301 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,400 I know, but I think it's why I can't come. 302 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,400 'Cause I don't feel safe, 303 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:44,720 and now this. 304 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,320 -This is not helping, to be honest. -I know, it's barbaric. 305 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,840 Okay, Binky's having a party tonight and I wasn't gonna go, 306 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,840 but, like, maybe we should just go. 307 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,400 -Yes! Really? -Yeah. 308 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,640 -Oh, man! Thank you. -Yeah. Okay. 309 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,760 -Yeah? Oh, great! -Yeah. Great. 310 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:02,720 Okay. 311 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,520 Great. Great. 312 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,600 Yeah. Fuck. 313 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,000 George, why are you so nervous? 314 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,480 They're gonna be so happy for you when they see you're in love. 315 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,840 You don't know these people, Mae. They find emotions disgusting. 316 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,320 They just want to have a good time and make jokes. 317 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,480 Oh, so they're British? 318 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,520 Like, why even bother with these people? 319 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,880 [George] This is exactly why I barely ever see them anymore, 320 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,480 but they're like my oldest friends. 321 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,880 I mean, Binky's basically family. 322 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,480 -[laughing] -Why are you laughing? 323 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,840 Because I can't believe you know somebody called Binky. 324 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,760 Wait. I need to tell you something and just don't be angry. 325 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,520 Okay. 326 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,840 They think I have a boyfriend called Jonathan Crenshaw. 327 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,160 I thought you told them about me weeks ago. 328 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,440 Okay, it's not my fault. 329 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,640 I told them I was seeing someone and they just assumed. 330 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,280 They just assumed his name is Jonathan Crenshaw? 331 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,320 Look, let's make a deal, okay? 332 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,240 If you promise to just keep it together tonight, 333 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,000 then I will tell someone that we're fucking. 334 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,120 Oh, wow. Cool deal. 335 00:13:58,600 --> 00:13:59,920 -[women] Hi! -[George] Hi! 336 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,720 -[woman] George! -[George] Oh, hi. It's been ages. 337 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,320 [upbeat music playing] 338 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,320 Yay! Oh! 339 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,760 Where's Jonathan Crenshaw? Who's this? 340 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:12,040 He couldn't make it. He got stung by ants, by red ants. 341 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,920 But this is my friend Mae. 342 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,160 We saw her do comedy once? 343 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,800 Oh, my God. Hi, Mae. I'm Binky, or Binks, whichever. 344 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,840 Your hair is so funny. 345 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,040 Oh, thank you. Your hair is also hilarious. 346 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,320 Oh, my God. My cousin Cynthia's here. She's a lesbian. 347 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,560 You'd love her. 348 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,400 -Are you dating anyone? -I am seeing someone, 349 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,880 but she's kind of an asshole, so I don't think it's gonna last. 350 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,200 Oh, so cute. What is she called? 351 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,640 Hoggy. Hoggy Dunlop. 352 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,200 -What? -Yes. 353 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,000 Hoggy Dunlop weirdly is her name. 354 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,280 It's funny, actually I met her through Jonathan Crenshaw. 355 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,280 Well, that's mad. How do they know each other? 356 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,160 -They-- -They're mother and son. 357 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:50,880 What? 358 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,520 Yes. 359 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,320 I'm dating George's boyfriend's mother. 360 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,800 Well, he's not really my boyfriend. 361 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,400 Well, exactly, he's not even here, George. Now come talk to Jared. 362 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,280 Oh, Cynthia, come talk to Mae. 363 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,840 Um, you two can talk about... blazers. 364 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,320 -I think Mae fancies me. -Really? 365 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,120 -Hey. -Hey. 366 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,400 -Okay, bye. -See ya. 367 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,800 [upbeat music continues playing] 368 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:18,720 Hey. 369 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,320 Hey. 370 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,520 Hey, how's it going? I'm Mae. 371 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,360 Hey, I'm Hugh. I would shake your hand, 372 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,480 but I'm chock-a-block making me old man a dick sandwich, 373 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,160 and I'm fresh out of dick. 374 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,240 [speaking gibberish] 375 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,280 [men laughing] 376 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,920 Okay. I'm from Canada, so I don't understand. 377 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:44,880 Oh. 378 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,240 Gandalf. 379 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,760 [laughing] 380 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,320 Oh, sorry. 381 00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:02,640 [high-pitched feedback ringing] 382 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,280 [music continues playing] 383 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:08,640 [man] I was just saying to Hugh, 384 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,400 I'd rather not leave my Doritos in the kitchen with all the riffraff. 385 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,040 -[man laughing] -Yeah. 386 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,080 [man] You know, I'd rather keep them with me here, 387 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,880 safe in my chino trousers. 388 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,880 -Binks. -Yeah. 389 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,920 [George] Um... 390 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,120 Okay, I think I'm gonna end things with Crenshaw. 391 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,600 Oh, no, babe. Why? 392 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:30,640 I think I'm gonna break up with him and it's not like a big deal, 393 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,440 but I should tell you-- 394 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,440 I've really wanted to tell you. 395 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,720 Oh, my God. Why is your friend staring at you? 396 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,200 She's like obsessed with you. 397 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,400 [man] Binks! Watch me bum, Jared. 398 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:45,120 -[men cackling] -[moaning loudly] 399 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,840 -Did you tell them yet? -Yes, I'm doing it my way, 400 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,560 but your eyes are like lasers. 401 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,720 Like, the back of my neck is actually hot, like you're burning me with lasers. 402 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,680 Just take the pressure off me for one second. 403 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,760 Just be confident. 404 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,320 Why don't you dance? 405 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,200 There's nothing less attractive than someone that's too neurotic to dance 406 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,760 at a party and just sat in the corner. 407 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,880 Can I ask you something? Did you ever have braces? 408 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:09,880 -What? -Or acne? 409 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,600 -Did you have acne when you were a teen? -Can you keep it-- Can you just calm down? 410 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,920 You grew up rich and white and straight and hot. 411 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,160 You won the lottery. 412 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,440 So of course you want to dance, 413 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,440 you're surrounded by people that want to fuck you. 414 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,520 Of course, I don't want to dance in front of people 415 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,560 that would have bullied me in high school and you're too ashamed to touch me. 416 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,560 If you want me to feel confident then hold my hand. 417 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,360 You two are always having, like, the most intense whisper conversations. 418 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,040 What is going on here? 419 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,120 -Are you two a thing? No offense. -[laughing] 420 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,920 [Binky] No, don't be a dick. Stop it. 421 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,200 But, seriously, is there something going on? 422 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,320 No, obviously not. What? 423 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,040 [voice breaking] I'm gonna go. 424 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,320 Yeah, I'm gonna go? 425 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,520 Yeah, if you want. [chuckles] 426 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,720 [laughs] 427 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:01,880 Babe, if you want to talk to me about something... 428 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,960 No, it's fine. Can I just have... 429 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,320 [knocks] 430 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:19,160 -Hey. I've just had-- -Thank you, darling! 431 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,400 Thank you! 432 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:21,840 -What for? -Oh! 433 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,560 It's wonderful! 434 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,600 -It's... it's magnificent. -What is? 435 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,680 [door closes] 436 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,840 -Look. -[Laura] Hello. 437 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,920 Oh, my God. You came. 438 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,120 -Yeah, Lava and I have been talking. -Laura. 439 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,960 Laura, sorry, darling. Laura, yeah. 440 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,040 Just catching up, low-key, no pressure, just chatting. 441 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,160 And Lava said-- Laura. Sorry, darling. 442 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,440 Laura said she came to see you. 443 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,880 Yeah, she came to my gig. 444 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,520 I did. She's funny. 445 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,680 Thank you. 446 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,000 [weeping] Oh, God. Sorry, ignore me. 447 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,400 I've probably got crooked glands. 448 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,320 Well, how are you? 449 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,680 I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. 450 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,080 Um, but can I hang out with you guys tonight? 451 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,840 Of course, darling! Well... 452 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,320 [whispers] We will have a slumber party. 453 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,400 -[upbeat music playing] -[guests chattering] 454 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,920 -I like you a lot. -Fuck off, you fucking rat. 455 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,840 Do me! 456 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,120 I wanna do it, lift me! 457 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,720 George! 458 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,320 [George] Whoa! 459 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,560 [all] Whoa! Whoa! 460 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,840 -Hey! -[crashing, shattering] 461 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,360 [woman shrieks] 462 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,000 [gasps] 463 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,680 [screaming] 464 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:45,840 [all screaming] 465 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,400 Somebody save her! 466 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,880 [all screaming, shouting] 467 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,640 Oh, my God. Georgie, babe, are you okay? 468 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,480 God, this place is disgusting! 469 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,400 -Is it bad? -It's fucking awful, babe! 470 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,240 Look, you're covered in fucking blood, George! 471 00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,240 Can you call Mae? 472 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,960 -Who? -The girl who looks like corn. 473 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,760 She's in my phone under "Corn." 474 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,280 Call Corn! 475 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,440 Oh, look. This is you in Corfu. 476 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:11,000 -Oh, my God. You look like Ronald Reagan. -[laughs] Yeah! 477 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,280 She refused to wear a dress, no matter how hard I tried. 478 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,440 That's 'cause I knew I was gay when I was, like, three. 479 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,520 Yes, you did, sweetheart. 480 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,160 Ah, this is such fun, I'm having an absolute blast. 481 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,240 Who wants a drink? Gin! 482 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,640 Gin! Gin for the girls. 483 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,200 Or tea. 484 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,880 Just a tea. How about that? 485 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,560 We're the girls who tea! 486 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,520 -[laughs] -Thanks, Mum. 487 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,520 [chuckles] 488 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,400 How's your girlfriend? 489 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,400 Ah... 490 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,560 You still haven't come. 491 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,160 I mean, that's not really the issue. 492 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,560 Maggie told me about her. 493 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,960 -[Mae] Oh, really? -George. 494 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,200 Yes. 495 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,520 You know, I've dated many, many girls like George. 496 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,720 She's straight and she's wasting your time. 497 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,600 You should be with someone that knows what they're doing. 498 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,040 Yeah, I don't mean about sex. 499 00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:00,240 Just don't let her shame rub off on you. It'll give you bad posture. 500 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,840 Yeah. 501 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,200 I-- I don't want to go home. 502 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,120 So don't. 503 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,040 [phone ringing] 504 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:20,280 -Hello. -[Binky] Hello? Hi, is this Corn? 505 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,240 -No, this is-- Yeah, this is Corn. Yeah. -[Binky] Hi. 506 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,480 It's George. She fell through a glass table. 507 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,480 There's blood everywhere. It's fucking disgusting! 508 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,560 -What? -You need to come to the hospital now. 509 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,600 -Is everything okay? -Oh, my God. Okay. 510 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:44,680 Hi. 511 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,360 Sorry, who are you? 512 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,440 Um... 513 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,880 -A friend of George's. -She's dating George's boyfriend's mum. 514 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,720 [Mae] Is she gonna be okay? 515 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,520 -We've given her morphine, so... -Hello? 516 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,440 [George gasps] 517 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,320 Baby, you came! 518 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,640 -[mouthing] -[George] You came to see me. 519 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,040 Please come here. 520 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:04,880 Oh. 521 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,160 I love you. 522 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,720 -I'm so sorry. -[Mae] It's okay. 523 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,040 -[George] No, it's not okay. -[mouthing] 524 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:15,200 Oh, I'm a fucking idiot. 525 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,120 I love you. 526 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,840 I want to make you come. 527 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,080 Whoa, okay! [laughing] 528 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,480 Um, can you open my bag? 529 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,040 Doctor, please, can you pass my bag? 530 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,120 -Oh, of course. -Thank you. 531 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,560 -Look. -[Mae] Oh, my God. 532 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,960 -[Binky laughing] -I don't think that's... 533 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,400 I'm gonna fuck my girlfriend with a strap-on, Doctor. 534 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,360 I'll just get a nurse. 535 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,400 [George] Yeah. 536 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,800 -[Mae] No. -Oh. 537 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,160 [Mae] Yeah. 538 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,560 I'm such a stupid idiot. I'm so sorry. 539 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,480 Oh, my God. 540 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,960 You are so beautiful. Your eyes! 541 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,320 Oh, my God. 542 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,960 [all murmuring] 543 00:22:59,040 --> 00:22:59,920 [Binky] Okay. 544 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,800 [George moaning] 545 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:05,440 Come on! 546 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:26,360 [high-pitched feedback ringing] 547 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,160 [ringing stops] 40122

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