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1
00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:05,092
- ♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo
2
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:09,313
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
3
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:13,274
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo
4
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:17,408
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
5
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:21,499
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo
6
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,067
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
7
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,068
- [laughs]
8
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,200
Ooh! [growls]
9
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:27,766
- Mommy!
- Aaaaaaah!
10
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,159
- Duncan!
- Duncan!
11
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,250
- Hurry up, Duncan.
12
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:36,862
- Hang on.
I'm still making my gift.
13
00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,300
- Let him focus.
The thumb is the hardest part.
14
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,084
- Time's up.
We're going in.
15
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,259
all: [grunt]
Happy anniversary--
16
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:43,565
[scream]
17
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,436
- What are you doing to Mommy?
- [grunting]
18
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,221
- Mommy and I are
just pounding it out.
19
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,353
- [grunting]
20
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,703
Obviously, he means
the dust from this rug.
21
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,270
It's spring cleaning day.
22
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,272
- It's your anniversary.
- We know.
23
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:57,100
That's how we remember
it's time to tidy up.
24
00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:00,321
- And to do our taxes.
[squeals]
25
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:01,496
- Well, here's your gift.
26
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:04,020
- Oh, Dunkie.
It's your best one yet.
27
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,156
- Yeah, I'm already working
on my Thanksgiving one.
28
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,287
- Oh, cute.
29
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:13,116
Okay,
tubs re-caulked,
30
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,380
chimney swept,
and fire extinguisher charged.
31
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,903
- [screams]
32
00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,254
- And I cleaned the dust
off the ceiling fan.
33
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:21,733
- How did you get up there?
34
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:24,258
- Does it really matter?
Hey.
35
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,128
[phone buzzes]
36
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,566
- Ooh, text alert
from House Warehouse.
37
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,394
"Spring cleaning price slash."
38
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,353
They've got air filters
on sale.
39
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:35,399
The ones we like!
- There's air filters you like?
40
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:36,226
- Duncan, get in here.
41
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:39,969
- Your father and I are going
to the home improvement store
42
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,188
and we need you to watch Jing.
43
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:42,798
- But I have plans
with my friends
44
00:01:42,841 --> 00:01:45,322
to throw old TVs in the quarry
and watch them explode.
45
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,194
Why do I always have
to watch Jing?
46
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,586
Kimberly's old enough.
47
00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,980
- Well, Kimberly's not here,
is she?
48
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,286
- I'm right here.
49
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,592
Ignoring the middle child
is so cliché.
50
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:57,987
- We don't ignore you.
We just forget you.
51
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,424
- Do you wanna watch Jing?
- I'd be happy to.
52
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:03,340
So which are the outlets
that are okay for her to lick?
53
00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,603
- None.
Duncan, you have to stay.
54
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,170
- [groans]
- Yay!
55
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,433
- [laughs]
- Kimberly will come with us.
56
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:12,175
Her tiny hands can sort
through cabinet screws.
57
00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:14,308
- And she'll get
our undivided attention.
58
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:15,352
Where'd she go?
59
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,441
- She must already be
in the car.
60
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:18,442
- [groans]
61
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:22,229
- So Jing, ready for a nap?
- I just woke up.
62
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,318
- Yeah, me too.
But I could sleep.
63
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:25,884
- I'm too excited to sleep.
64
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:29,540
I have the whole day with the
greatest brother in the world,
65
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:31,803
and I don't want
to miss one second of it.
66
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:34,980
Let's go.
- Ugh, slow down.
67
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:37,374
My big legs can't keep up
with your little ones.
68
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,208
- What are you gonna do first?
69
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,341
I'm gonna go watch the
plant-watering demonstration.
70
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,212
- Uh, checking out
the bird feeders.
71
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,213
[tapping window]
72
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,868
- Hey.
- Ooh, forgot her again.
73
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,479
- Sorry, honey.
74
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,526
Somebody just earned a ride
on the pony express.
75
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,225
Ride 'em, cowgirl!
76
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:04,488
[Western music]
77
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,490
- Get off.
You're gonna catch fire.
78
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:07,839
- Let me burn.
79
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,930
- So Hector's looking
for clues to find treasure,
80
00:03:11,974 --> 00:03:13,367
and he needs our help.
81
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:16,065
- I'm looking for clues
to find treasure,
82
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:18,110
and I need your help.
83
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:20,852
- We'll help you, Hector.
- He can't hear you, Duncan.
84
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:23,246
- Thanks for your help.
85
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,857
Now let's look
at the clues I've collected.
86
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:30,688
A bike seat, a bike handlebar,
and a bike wheel.
87
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:33,125
Can you figure out what it is?
88
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:34,214
- A bike.
- A jet ski--a bike.
89
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:37,304
- It's a bike!
90
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:40,263
both: Yeah!
- Let's see.
91
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:44,093
One ear of corn, boop,
one slice of bread, beep.
92
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:47,270
Oh, the diet starts tomorrow,
am I right?
93
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,489
[both laugh]
94
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:50,360
- Wanna donate
to Save the Planet?
95
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,710
- No way.
[both laugh]
96
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:55,147
- Annie, this is
the garden hose
97
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,714
we've waited
our whole lives for.
98
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,977
- On the commercial, a gorilla
could not bite through it.
99
00:03:59,021 --> 00:03:59,978
And it tried.
100
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:01,502
- If you guys don't hurry up,
101
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:04,113
I'm calling an Amber Alert
on myself.
102
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,984
- Calm down, Kimber.
We're almost done.
103
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,551
- [gasps]
Jack,
104
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,901
a paint drying demo,
and it just started.
105
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,512
[both giggle]
106
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,515
- That's it.
107
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:15,994
I'm gonna flirt
with the stock boys,
108
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,432
and move in with the one
that's also in a band.
109
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,563
- Hmm, yeah.
Sounds great honey.
110
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,435
Have fun.
- [groans]
111
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,524
- In about 20 minutes,
112
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,569
you'll start to see
hints of yellow.
113
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,267
- Don't tell me
what's gonna happen.
114
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,488
- Name of the game is Memory.
115
00:04:31,532 --> 00:04:33,098
You flip two,
you get to keep them.
116
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:34,317
Here we go, here we go.
117
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:40,541
- Match.
- You're lucky you're cute.
118
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:43,370
- Okay, weirdly, Jing,
this has been fun.
119
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,807
But you need to take a nap.
- No!
120
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:49,463
Can we do one more thing?
Please?
121
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,465
- [sighs]
Okay, what do you wanna do?
122
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:54,598
- Let's get married!
- Not this again, no.
123
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,340
- But why?
- I'm your brother.
124
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,342
- I don't care.
I love you.
125
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,604
Marry me.
- No.
126
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:04,347
- Marry me, marry me.
- No.
127
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,435
[electronic beeps]
128
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:08,482
- Marry me, marry me.
- No.
129
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,833
- Marry me, marry me.
- No.
130
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,574
[snores and gasps]
131
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,358
- Marry me.
Marry me.
132
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:17,708
- Stop saying "marry me."
- Stop saying, what?
133
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,493
- "Marry me."
- I will!
134
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:24,541
I thought you'd never ask.
[vocalizes giddily]
135
00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:32,419
- Duncan.
Dude, you missed so much fun.
136
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,725
I thought watching TV was good,
137
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:38,250
but watching TVs explode
is even better.
138
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:41,732
- Yeah, 4K blow up good,
but OLED, blam!
139
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,604
- What's with the tie?
Going to court?
140
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,520
- Jing is making me do this
stupid make-believe wedding.
141
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,086
- She finally
wore you down, huh?
142
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,653
- Mazel tov.
143
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,438
- I love weddings.
My mom's had three of them.
144
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:52,656
[car horn honks]
145
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,658
- This one's gonna stick.
I promise, baby.
146
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:55,659
- Four.
147
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:58,619
- This is adorable.
Do you have a minister?
148
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,490
- No.
Why?
149
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:04,233
- And the denizens
of hell would scream,
150
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:08,106
but for the brimstone
in their mouths!
151
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,979
And so it is in love.
152
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:17,464
♪ Hallelujah
153
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:19,640
- What's going on?
154
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,424
- Your son's marrying
your daughter.
155
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,470
New air filters?
Nice.
156
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,603
[car chimes]
157
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:28,431
[knocks on car window]
- Seriously?
158
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,693
- Whoops, did it again.
159
00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:31,478
- As long as I can remember,
160
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,915
which is about 10 months ago,
161
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,483
I've always wanted
to marry you.
162
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,702
- She can do so much better.
163
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:42,489
- Duncan, I promise to always
be loving and fun,
164
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,578
just like Mommy and Daddy...
165
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:47,058
- They wanna be us.
166
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,712
- ...Used to be.
167
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:51,454
And not sad and boring,
like they are now.
168
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,674
- Sad and boring?
169
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,502
- We are not
sending them a gift.
170
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,552
- Thank you
for marrying me, Duncan.
171
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:05,033
- Oh, well, it was easier
than that memory game.
172
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,730
- Is that what you kids think
of our marriage?
173
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,645
That we're boring and no fun?
174
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:10,691
- Yeah, but, like,
only when we think about it,
175
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:11,692
which is not a lot
176
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,171
'cause, you know,
it makes us sad.
177
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:14,521
- Hey, you guys lasted longer
178
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:15,652
than most
of my friends' parents.
179
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,262
- We're still married.
180
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:19,613
- And we appreciate that
you've stayed together for us.
181
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:21,484
- Yeah, I don't wanna have
to learn stepparents' names
182
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,703
and say stuff like,
183
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:24,618
"Thanks for coming
to my track meet, Chuck,"
184
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:25,923
and "Are you living here
now, Shirley?"
185
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,622
- There's nothing wrong
with our marriage.
186
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:29,971
- Really?
187
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,755
You think it's normal
to spend your anniversary
188
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,627
debating which color plunger
to buy?
189
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:36,717
- I just think black is cliché.
- And I think red is too showy.
190
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,720
You're begging
for a home invasion.
191
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,939
- Oh, my God, Jack.
They're right.
192
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,506
- Yeah, we suck.
193
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,682
In high school, we were
the life of every party.
194
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:48,772
Everyone called us
Madonna and Sean Penn
195
00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:49,730
because of my love
of lace gloves
196
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,122
and your hair-trigger temper.
197
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,559
- What happened to us?
198
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,778
- It's okay, you know?
You had a good run.
199
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:56,737
- Why don't you sit on
the porch, and read the paper,
200
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:57,868
and say, "Guess who died?"
201
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,783
- I'll bring you warm milk.
202
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,525
- And I'll stand on the lawn so
you can tell me to get off it.
203
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,745
- Do not talk to us
like we are old people,
204
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:07,530
Buster Brown,
Little Missy, and Suzy Q.
205
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:08,749
- Come on, Mother.
206
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,228
We've got an anniversary
to celebrate.
207
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:12,535
- Damn straight.
Let me fetch my shawl.
208
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:13,797
- Ooh, fetch mine too.
209
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:21,326
- Ah, now this is more like it.
210
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,155
[both wailing]
211
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:27,594
- No anniversary celebrating.
Store policy.
212
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,944
- But we don't know
where else to go.
213
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,121
Popcorn, milady?
214
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:36,864
- Ooh, I feel like the Duchess
of Sussex, Meghan Markle.
215
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:41,999
[both snoring]
216
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,610
- [sighing] All right.
217
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,354
- [panting]
- [gasps]
218
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:52,836
- Ooh, nibble--
- Yes?
219
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,838
- Hair.
- Okay, first roll.
220
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:57,798
Let's give it a chance.
- All right.
221
00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,017
- Hmm.
222
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,846
I'm feeling lucky.
223
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:07,590
[wheezing and coughing]
- Not today, Jack.
224
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,201
Not in a Best Western.
- [exhales]
225
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:14,031
[coughs]
What did the dice say?
226
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,729
- Suck...
227
00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:17,034
Hair.
228
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:18,601
both: [sigh]
Damn it.
229
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:24,651
- Oh, you made a sandwich
just for yourself?
230
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,087
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you hungry?
231
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,871
- Apparently not.
232
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:28,829
[doorbell rings]
233
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,746
- Good day, Madam.
Is your husband at home?
234
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:33,747
[laughs]
235
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,879
- Is our marriage
a joke to you?
236
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,315
- Uh, no, of course, not Jing.
237
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,621
It's a sacred institution,
238
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,841
and do you want the rest
of my Sour Patch Kids?
239
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:43,670
- Hey, what's up?
- You gotta come with us.
240
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:46,324
We're going to the mall and
pantsing all the mannequins.
241
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:47,891
- It's the crime
of the century.
242
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:48,979
You in?
- [sighs]
243
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,634
I would love to,
but I gotta stay in with Jing.
244
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,984
- And next time, please call
before you come over.
245
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:56,857
- Will do.
Your home is lovely.
246
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,120
- Come on.
Wanna cut shapes out of paper?
247
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,861
It'll be so fun.
- No, thanks.
248
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:03,080
You clearly don't wanna be
with me on our wedding day.
249
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,256
You'd rather be pulling pants
down with your friends.
250
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,258
[phone buzzes]
251
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,695
Who's texting you?
- Nobody.
252
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,479
- Let me see your phone.
- Can't.
253
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,002
Mom said no screen time
after 8:00.
254
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:13,830
- [grunts]
You're still talking to Mia?
255
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,789
Take her out
of your phone right now.
256
00:10:15,832 --> 00:10:17,921
- [sighs]
I'm not doing this.
257
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:19,140
- Oh, sure.
258
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,663
Go hide in the basement
259
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:24,362
because you know I'm afraid
the furnace is gonna eat me!
260
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:25,929
[grunts]
- Guys suck.
261
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:28,802
The greatest bonds in life
are between sisters.
262
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:31,152
Wanna watch "Sister, Sister"?
- [groans]
263
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,676
- Ghosted by a five-year-old?
264
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,548
I am tired of this family
ignoring me.
265
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,899
I'll give them something
to remember.
266
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,901
[snarls]
267
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:41,771
[murmurs]
268
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:46,167
[snarling]
269
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,952
- I can't believe those dice
were covered with lead paint.
270
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,954
- [sighs]
The kids were right, Jack.
271
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,913
Let's go home and watch
those half-hour commercials
272
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,349
for old records.
273
00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,960
- Yeah, we had a lot of fun
when we were dating,
274
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,788
but now we've settled down
275
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:01,965
and all that's left is to wait
for the sweet release of death.
276
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,706
Won't it be nice
to not fight it anymore?
277
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,404
- Lost the spark, huh?
- Excuse me.
278
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:09,059
This is none of your business,
and also how did you know?
279
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:10,844
- You're walking like
you're holding hands,
280
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,976
but they're
not actually touching.
281
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,762
both: Huh.
- Follow me.
282
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,721
- I don't know, Jack.
This is how cults get you.
283
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,332
- Twice, Annie.
Let it go.
284
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:24,988
- Go on in.
285
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,426
- ♪ It's tricky
to rock a rhyme ♪
286
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:29,863
♪ To rock a rhyme
that's on time ♪
287
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,734
- What is this place?
288
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:35,869
- A private club based on the
greatest decade of all time,
289
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,174
the 1980s.
290
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,568
- It's everything we loved
in high school.
291
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,744
Bumper pool, "Donkey Kong."
292
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,790
- [gasps]
"Top Gun" beach volleyball.
293
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:46,444
- And a bartender who looks
like an angry '80s dad.
294
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,011
- Close that damn door!
295
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,317
We're not heating
the whole damn town!
296
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,320
- [laughs]
So many memories.
297
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,757
- Ooh, five girls dancing
in a circle.
298
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:58,587
And an '80s cover band with Alf
on drums for some reason.
299
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,589
- Middle-aged people
of Oakdale,
300
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:01,982
are you ready to rock?
301
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,244
[cheering]
302
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:04,549
Two, three, four.
303
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:05,637
[rock music playing]
304
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:06,900
- Jell-O shots?
305
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:07,901
[as Bill Cosby]
Jell-O?
306
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,032
Well, I'll drink some Jell-O
307
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:10,947
with the shaking,
and the jiggling, and the--
308
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,035
[crowd gasps]
309
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,776
You're right.
Too soon.
310
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,473
Sorry, everyone.
Sorry, Alf.
311
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,953
- It's okay.
It's the '80s.
312
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:19,477
We still love him.
Two, three, four.
313
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:23,003
- Now to make sure my family
never forgets me again.
314
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,005
[grunts]
- Hey, hey.
315
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,050
- That's it.
Cuff me, call my parents.
316
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:29,357
- No, I just wanna know
where you got those tennies.
317
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:30,662
My daughter wants a pair,
318
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,055
and I want her to know
I pay attention.
319
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,797
- [groans]
Lady Foot Locker.
320
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,800
[mischievous music]
321
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:38,845
♪
322
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,411
I just shoplifted
these earrings.
323
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:41,848
Aren't you gonna stop me?
324
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,632
- The alarm doesn't
detect middle children.
325
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,765
You're free to go.
- [groans]
326
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:50,987
[music box music]
327
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:53,076
♪
328
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,818
- Hey, you dropped your boat.
Here you go.
329
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,603
- Come on.
Abduct me.
330
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,823
- No, nope.
331
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,043
[both grunting]
- Nope, nope!
332
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,523
Help, police.
- [sighs]
333
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,003
- Ooh, look at the menu.
334
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,440
They have all
of our favorite '80s drinks.
335
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:13,053
"Between the Sheets," "Sex on
the Beach," "Screaming Orgasm."
336
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:16,708
My God, the '80s were horny.
- Hey, you filthy hippie.
337
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,275
I can't wait
until the army gets you
338
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,843
and cuts off
that long, luscious hair.
339
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:21,975
What'll it be?
340
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,107
- I'll have a Woo-Woo.
- Rum and New Coke.
341
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,892
And can we get those
in Gremlins cups?
342
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:28,895
- Bourbon, four fingers.
My size fingers.
343
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:31,027
- Hey, Alf.
Great set, man.
344
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:34,117
- Yeah, I know.
- Wow, never meet your heroes.
345
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,945
- I'm just giving you
crap, kid.
346
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:38,339
Hey, you wanna sit in?
- Do I?
347
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:41,124
♪ We are strong
348
00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:44,867
♪ No one can tell us
we're wrong ♪
349
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:49,132
♪ Both of us knowing
love is a battlefield ♪
350
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:52,875
- Whoo!
Look, honey, I'm shimmying!
351
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,877
♪ Love is a battlefield
352
00:13:54,921 --> 00:14:00,752
[vocalizes]
353
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,972
[cheering]
354
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:06,933
- Please keep your hands
on each other at all times
355
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,064
and enjoy the ride.
356
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,240
[both laugh]
- Get it?
357
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,329
- Aww, they look happy.
- They do.
358
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:13,374
- Ooh, ah!
359
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,775
- [screams]
Who the hell are you?
360
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:25,038
- Bradley.
361
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:28,128
- His mom is a therapist,
and I think he can help us.
362
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:30,086
- My play room's
next to her office,
363
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:32,045
and I've picked up
a thing or two.
364
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:35,091
- I'll start.
Duncan is ruining our marriage.
365
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:37,267
- Don't tell me.
Tell him.
366
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:40,270
- You'd rather be
with your friends than me,
367
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,969
you get texts
from trashy women,
368
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:46,189
and we never binge
"Hector the Detector" anymore.
369
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:48,975
- Oh, my God--we watched
five episodes this morning.
370
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:51,934
And we're not married.
[sighs]
371
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,545
- This really is a kwisis.
372
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:57,070
Duncan, I'll start with you.
373
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,942
When Jing says
things like that,
374
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,770
how does it make you feel?
375
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:05,165
- I don't know.
Sad, I guess.
376
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,949
Sometimes I just look
at my life,
377
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,429
and I realize a very im--
378
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:12,650
- Okay, Jing.
How does that make you fweel?
379
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:15,131
- Like I'm the only one
taking this marriage seriously.
380
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,960
- You are the only one
taking it seriously.
381
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,310
It was just a stupid game
I played to keep you happy.
382
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:23,966
- Happy?
I haven't been happy in hours!
383
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,837
- [grunts and panting]
384
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:28,666
- This is very common
for the first session,
385
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,668
but thewapy is a journey--
386
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,106
- Bradley, it's 10:00.
Go home.
387
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:36,718
- [whimpers and sighs]
388
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:42,550
Be well, Duncan.
- [sighs]
389
00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,030
[pinball machine pings]
390
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,770
- Come on, Annie.
Use your flippers.
391
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:48,599
Yes, I unlocked
Luke and Laura's wedding.
392
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:49,992
- Hey, babe.
393
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:53,126
If love is a battlefield,
I'd die on your hills any time.
394
00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,040
- Excuse me?
395
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,432
- I'm just saying
you got a bitching ass
396
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,260
and I'd like to die on it.
397
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,174
- That's a lovely thought,
398
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:01,569
but you just made
a big mistake, mister.
399
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,440
- Wait a minute, I'm confused.
400
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,007
So you're real,
401
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:08,837
but on the show, you were
operated by puppeteers?
402
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,231
- It's all Hollywood magic.
[sighs]
403
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:15,191
Until the magic is gone.
I'm dying, Jack.
404
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,888
- Jack, I gotta
tell you something
405
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,238
and I don't want you
getting upset.
406
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,066
- Honey, Alf just told me
he's dy--
407
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:22,198
- That guy over there
just hit on me.
408
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:23,721
- Which guy?
- That one.
409
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,593
- Oh, he's cute.
410
00:16:25,636 --> 00:16:28,248
My wife.
Thank you.
411
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:31,294
- The Jack I dated would've
opened a can of whoop-ass
412
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,600
and knocked him
into next Wednesday
413
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,297
because he was cruising
for a bruising!
414
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:37,300
- You want me to punch him?
- No, don't be ridiculous.
415
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,476
I just want you
to want to punch him.
416
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,740
Like you used to.
Oh, it was so hot.
417
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:43,872
[harp chimes]
418
00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:45,265
- Excuse me.
Your shoe's untied.
419
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:48,311
- Her eyes are up here.
- [grunts]
420
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:51,923
- You're so bad.
- And I always will be, baby.
421
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:52,924
[harp chimes]
422
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:54,056
It's not the '80s anymore.
423
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,884
I don't have to fight
to keep you.
424
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,278
You're not going anywhere.
- Oh, yeah?
425
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:03,109
Well, me and my sexy hills
are going home.
426
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:05,328
- She finally figured out
you're a bum.
427
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:07,765
And I didn't charge you
for the Jell-O shots.
428
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,071
- [whimpers]
429
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,334
- I know my appointment's
not for a month.
430
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,336
I need to see you now.
431
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,338
- And so I didn't
punch the guy,
432
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,340
and now your mom and I
aren't speaking.
433
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,516
- Oh, things are tough
with me and Jing too.
434
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,128
I feel like I can't do
anything right, you know?
435
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,260
If I make her a sandwich,
there's too much jelly,
436
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,349
and then if I take
some of the jelly off,
437
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,524
there's not enough jelly.
438
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:30,440
- Yeah, marriage is
complicated, Dunker.
439
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:34,096
- Yeah, but mine's weird
because my wife is my sister.
440
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,532
- Yeah, I got no advice
for that.
441
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:38,231
- [sighs] I didn't want
your dad to punch him.
442
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,797
I just--I got caught up
in the past,
443
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:42,322
and I wanted to know
he still cares about me enough
444
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,323
to deck someone.
445
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,716
- And I don't wanna yell
at Duncan.
446
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,154
I'm just not good
at putting the jelly on.
447
00:17:48,197 --> 00:17:49,546
- I don't know.
448
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,244
Would it have killed me
to just shove the guy?
449
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,810
She would've done the same
for me.
450
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:55,465
- And I guess I shouldn't
expect Jing to be more mature.
451
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:59,121
She's only, like, four or five.
How old is she again?
452
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,123
- Four--no, five.
Definitely five.
453
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,561
Absolutely four--she's five.
454
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,824
Great, now I'm
a terrible husband and father.
455
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:09,175
- You're not
a terrible husband.
456
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:11,220
[door slams loudly]
457
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:15,268
- [screams]
458
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,706
- Jack, were you screaming?
- I must have been.
459
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:21,187
- It was me.
I'm right here.
460
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:25,016
I'm tired of being ignored.
I need my negative attention.
461
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:27,149
So whatever
your marriage problems are,
462
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,411
work them out
463
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:30,370
'cause I am this close
to joining one of dad's cults.
464
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:33,155
- Let it go.
Come on, Annie.
465
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,723
We're going back to that club,
and I'm defending your honor.
466
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,333
- Oh, Jack, I don't
want you getting
467
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,249
into a sweaty 1980s rumble
468
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,426
just so I can live out some
sort of "Road House" fantasy.
469
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,036
Duncan, watch your sister.
I'll drive.
470
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,391
- Hey.
- Hey.
471
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:55,438
You look well.
- So what have you been up to?
472
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:58,441
- Learning to read
and playing Legos.
473
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,313
- Well, you were
always good at that.
474
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,967
Look, I think we're better
as brother and sister.
475
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:05,666
- Maybe we were just
too young for marriage.
476
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:08,364
- Yeah.
You want a PB&J?
477
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,236
I'll nail the right amount
of jelly.
478
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:11,889
- I'd like that.
479
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:15,458
- Hey, my day was weird too.
Pennywise is real!
480
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:18,461
- Hey, kid.
I feel bad about before.
481
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:19,680
Come on.
I'll abduct you.
482
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:21,377
- Forget it.
You had your chance.
483
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,466
- [screams]
484
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,033
- Hey, pal.
485
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:27,818
The only guys who talk
about my wife's hills
486
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,386
are me
and her primary care physician!
487
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:31,909
- Hey.
There you are.
488
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:34,260
I am so sorry
about what happened earlier.
489
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:36,044
It was wrong,
and after some thinking,
490
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,264
I realized it came
from my own insecurities.
491
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,222
I hope you can forgive me.
492
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:43,094
- Oh, of course I can.
That's all I needed to...
493
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:45,271
- [vocalizes]
- I'm so sorry!
494
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,925
[gasping]
495
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:51,102
[all growling]
- Are we sure we wanna do this?
496
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,843
- [sighs]
Not really.
497
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:54,454
- But we have to.
498
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:57,196
[all exclaiming weakly]
499
00:20:09,991 --> 00:20:11,688
- [screams]
- Ow.
500
00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:15,475
- I am so sorry that I pushed
you into whatever that was.
501
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:18,434
- Actually, it felt good to
mix it up with the boys again.
502
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:20,610
Plus I wanted to show you
I still love you.
503
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,874
- Oh, I like the way
you show your love for me now.
504
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:26,616
Changing the air filters,
washing my car for me,
505
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:29,532
siding with me when
I vent about coworkers,
506
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:30,490
even when I'm in the wrong.
507
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:33,057
- Well, you do lots
of stuff for me, too.
508
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,276
You open all the jars,
509
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,452
do the talking during
parent-teacher conferences,
510
00:20:36,496 --> 00:20:38,280
and you let me know
if I'm watching a movie
511
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,368
I've already seen.
512
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:42,328
- Oh, Jackie.
Happy anniversary.
513
00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:49,509
[kissing]
514
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:51,554
- They're gonna be all right.
515
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:55,558
- Is that guy watching us?
516
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:56,994
- Who cares?
Nibble my hair.
517
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:58,039
Mm.
518
00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:04,001
- Hey, Alf.
How you been, man?
519
00:21:04,045 --> 00:21:05,438
- Feeling great.
520
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,309
I'm doing this new
holistic thing.
521
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,746
I cut out dairy,
patched things up with my son.
522
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,531
- Well, that's great.
Where you headed?
523
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:12,793
- Tucson.
524
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:15,143
Music's fun,
but I need a steadier gig.
525
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:18,189
My brother-in-law got me a
job refilling vending machines.
526
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,453
They let me keep
all the broken cigarettes.
527
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,411
- That is awesome.
You've earned it.
528
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:23,586
[cats meowing]
529
00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:25,501
Oh, you still...
530
00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:28,330
- Yup, old habits.
Take care, brother.
531
00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:32,508
♪ Love is a battlefield
532
00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:41,474
-Yaah!-ANNOUNCER:
Welcome to the world of
Duncanville.
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