Original subtitles

I am down here in Downtown LA as instructed.

Yes, good!

It's an anti-gun rally led by children Tony!

This is Chester, he's new.

Welcome to the compound.

Gummy bears, thanks, love these little guys.

Some sort of freaking libtard Nirvana.

[Crowd Cheers]

Definitely something in that gummy bear.

Drop the baggage people, drop a load!

Drop a load!

I've decided to endorse you.

Oh my god, Suzanne, that's amazing!

Now of course we'll need to fix your little problem.

What's that?

We will restore your marriage to it's full glory!

-Oh Chester! -Cock sucker.

- No problem. - Good girl.

A Senate run, the state needs us!

Suzanne! I did not know you spoke French!

[jazz music]

So, Chester,

this new found spiritualism, How would you describe it?

[Fart sound]

Go ahead, Chester.

I really enjoy learning from Eckhart Tolle.

Hole.

Excuse me?

Nothing, Hole. Eckhart Hole.

Claire, why are you being so aggressive?

Why? Because I said hole?

Hole in the head, black hole.

Big fat sloppy wet hole.

Does that make you boys nervous?

How about giving Chester a chance?

Oh, poor Chester.

There we go.

It's all about him, isn't it?

Go ahead, fine, whatever.

I really enjoy listening to Eckhart Tolle's audio books.

For hours, in the car. His message is life changing.

It's like I'm waking up. It's mind altering.

What do you think about that, Claire?

More like mind numbing.

I mean that voice, it's like a drowning little elf.

"Listen to the silence." What?

I like watching Fox News.

Fox News is mind altering.

See what I'm working with here?

You see what I'm working with here?

Claire, write this down.

There are several elements to a successful interview.

Okay.

Talking points, very important. And ways to avoid answering

the question.

Actual strategies?

Uh huh.

I thought there had to be a method!

Although DT always did seem to wing it.

Oh

And brilliantly at that.

That's right, let's say, for instance some dirt bag,

piece of shit, CNN reporter mentions something you

don't want to talk about.

uh, oh, here is a good one. Where do you stand on

Obama's birth certificate?

He's from one of the 'shit hole countries.'

He is a Muslim,

He is a terrorist,

He started ISIS!

He hates America!

YES!

And a lie repeated over and over again becomes

the truth!

That is so good, is that one of yours?

Actually it's a, oh, nevermind.

It's a long story.

Now put that down.

Claire, this is critical.

You cannot run for the Senate in the middle of this

little twat, hippie cashier business. You got to get that

cock sucker back in line.

I don't care how you do it.

I will make it priority one.

Oh, good girl.

Oh, now I do have a friend, well, a confidant really

who is the kinda guy who can make things happen or

unhappen, if you catch my drift.

Are you talking about like-

Now Claire. We are just going to call him Ivan the fixer.

Ivan?

Um, I don't think I need anyone like that right now

But it's so nice of you to offer.

Well, you keep it in mind.

[Kisses]

I got to go, I've got a skydiving appointment.

Oh, are you kidding me? You're going Skydiving?

You are fearless!

Oh, I do love my adrenaline I could mainline that shit

All day long! Bye Bye!

How's my girl?

All rainbows and butterflies.

I've just been thinking about your father. I'm worried about

him. Have you spoken to him?

Yeah, he's chill.

Really? Well, how is he?

He's fine. And no, he's not sleeping with Deborah.

See, I told you.

He's just high as fuck all the time. I think he's

taking molly like every day.

Oh my god, who is Molly?

Oh, you don't know her.

But listen I do need a perscription for Atarol.

I have a big test coming up.

No...

Baby, tell me where your father is-

Why don't you just text him like a normal person.

This is more a face to face.

Okay, well I was really hoping to go to Burning Man this year.

So I just need a little bit of seed money to get me there.

But then after that, its a whole trade based system.

You're bartering in the desert, there is no coinage.

It's completely off the grid. In fact, I think one of the

rituals in burning money.

So...

Actually, I was thinking of pawning some of your mom's-

Okay, Okay, fine fine fine.

This is his address and he is going to hate me for giving

this to you.

It's okay, everything is good.

Thank you.

Oh, wait I do need a perscription for atarol.

You want me to give you money for drugs?

I'll make the Dean's list.

Really?

Fine,

I'll call Dr. George

I thought we got rid of them.

Them?

Indians, you idiot. Go back to sleep.

[Inside Tipi] That feels good!

[Inside Tipi] Yes! Release it! Let it go!

There is a dark force taking control of your life.

This is gonna give you a brand new sense of freedom.

What kinda sick, sex, freaky shit is this?

Someone say something about a dark force?

I'm sorry but you can't be here.

What are you talking about?

I just walked through Woodstock the after party

to talk to him.

Take your insanity some place else.

Ah, this is Claire.

That's right, Claire Vangaurd. Who the hell are you?

I'm Jocelyn King, I've been working here with Chester.

Oh, working with Chester? He doesn't need any work

He just wants to get laid.

Not the only reason, Claire.

Boundaries, Chess.

Boundaries, Claire.

Boundaries? How about a boundary for B.O?

Anybody hear of soap and water, ladies?

But okay whatever, I'm just here to negotiate

the return of my husband.

What are you doing to him anyway?

It's called Rolfing.

It's a body modality that releases facia

from old deep emotional wounds

Are you trying to imply that I have somehow

wounded him?

Ha! Snowflake.

What did you say?

I said snow-flake!

You're a snowflake, okay? Everybody is a snowflake.

Okay, now I know that may be hard for you to understand,

beacuse god only gave you half a brain, but we forgive you.

You forgive me?

No, no, no, I forgive you.

You need to leave now.

Chester!

You need to leave.

Oh, back off.

Just don't even come near me.

Now, now-

Do not threaten me.

You need to leave now.

Back off!

Leave now!

Oh my gosh. Chester!

Security!

You can't kidnap my Chester.

I'll double whatever they are paying you.

We do this out of the kindness of our hearts.

In that case I'll triple it.

Think about that.

Fuck you, Deborah!

♪