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♪ It's showtime tonight ♪
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Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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Wait, Blair.
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- Wear this.
- What?
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For good luck on your interviews.
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...motherfucker.
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Go get 'em! I love you.
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- Here you go.
- Thank you.
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Five large.
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Now, you be sure to tell Page Six
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that I knocked the glaze
off that doughnut.
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- Mmm.
- Okay?
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Kyle.
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Want to do some cocaine?
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Fantastic.
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Ooh-whee! There she go! God damn!
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Yo, mama, where you going?
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Fucking dyke!
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Georgina.
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It is my 39th birthday,
and that is what I want.
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No "problemo," Mo.
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I'll get a B-cup down here by 9:45
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or now if, uh, Dawn is willing.
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Wow, you know what?
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I'm really surprised a
ladies' man such as yourself
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00:03:53,028 --> 00:03:54,473
doesn't know his cups.
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- These are Cs, baby.
- Ooh!
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These right here... These are Bs.
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Who wants to come titty-fuck Keith?
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Dawn's on the board.
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00:04:04,789 --> 00:04:06,391
But, no, I want the company.
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00:04:06,392 --> 00:04:08,724
Georgina Jeans currently does
all of its manufacturing
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in Manhattan, so you
know what that means.
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00:04:10,474 --> 00:04:12,585
It means that the land
the warehouse is on
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is worth twice the company.
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Exactly, which makes
them ripe for a take...
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Ripe for a takeover. See? Great minds.
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See, when we're going on
together, it's like jazz.
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You guys are fucking watching jazz.
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I hate to bust your
denim dream, but, no.
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It's fucking impossible, Mo.
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- Oh, is it impossible, Dawn?
- It's impossible.
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Lehman Brothers owns 30% of Georgina.
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And trust me, they'd rather
vote for punk-ass Mondale
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than sell us a share of shit.
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"Impossible."
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Well, let me tell you something, gang.
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I was born in a toilet
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and left on the steps of a Church...
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...'s Chicken.
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Yeah, Church's Chicken.
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- Anyway, 39 years later...
- Wait, 30 what?
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Thirty-nine years later
to the day, Dawn!
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He's 60.
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I woke up in a $1,500-a-night fuck pad
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after having a $5,000
Park Avenue fuckathon.
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- What?
- Whoo!
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My robot butler brought me caviar
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and The Wall Street Journal,
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and I said, "Kyle"...
Because I named him.
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00:05:05,266 --> 00:05:06,577
They encourage you to name them.
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00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:08,557
It helps with the
bonding... I said, "Kyle,
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00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:11,098
throw that fish jizz
out. Caviar is wack."
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Kyle did that shit because
Kyle understands English.
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Solid.
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And The Wall Street Journal
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called you all
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the number 11 trading firm on the block.
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And they called your man the
Billy Ocean of trading.
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That's right!
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Get it, get it, get it.
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♪ Billy, Billy, Billy Ocean ♪
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That's... that's the hit right there.
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- Yes!
- Yeah!
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- Yes!
- Yeah!
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No!
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Hey!
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Whoa! Hey!
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Eleven?
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Get that out of here. The
number 11 guy on the Knicks
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isn't even a basketball
player, all right?
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He's an eight-foot Serb
with a kidney disease
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they took a flier on.
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Eleven is one one too many.
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It's been the same
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Monopoly-man-looking motherfuckers
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at the top of Wall
Street for 1,000 years.
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"Impossible"? This shit is simple.
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00:06:03,474 --> 00:06:05,030
What goes in your pocket
when that bell rings
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00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,983
at the end of the day comes directly out
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00:06:06,984 --> 00:06:08,307
of some other sucker's asshole.
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Right?
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00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,640
One guy gets a dope chalet in Vail.
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Another guy has to tell his daughter
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00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:14,889
that Christmas is canceled
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because Santa Claus
exploded in the Challenger.
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- Ugh.
- Now, I know who I am.
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- Do you know who you are?
- I'm Kerth... Keith!
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00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,348
Yes. Do you know who you are?
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00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,223
- Yassir X.
- Absolutely.
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00:06:24,224 --> 00:06:25,662
- Do you know who you...
- Get the fuck out of my face.
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00:06:25,663 --> 00:06:27,450
Right. Ronnie, you know who you are?
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00:06:27,451 --> 00:06:28,788
Honestly, I'm still
trying to figure it out.
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- Just say "Ronnie."
- I know who you are, all right?
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00:06:31,436 --> 00:06:33,536
God chose me to choose you.
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00:06:33,537 --> 00:06:35,662
- Okay.
- I am black Moses.
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Nigga, did you say you black Moses?
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Okay? And that designer
denim LLC is the Red Sea.
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And I'm gonna part that shit up,
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and I'm gonna take us
to the promised land.
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- Yeah! Yeah!
- So start buying, okay?
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But you keep that shit quiet,
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'cause if anybody outside of
this room gets wind of that,
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you're all gonna be deader
than that gremlin's pussy
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on top of Keith's head.
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Now, if you'll excuse me,
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I'm gonna go put the "brother"...
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...in Lehman Brothers.
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Yeah! Yes! Yeah!
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- Hey, Mo.
- No, Keith. God damn it.
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00:07:04,054 --> 00:07:07,468
You cannot stop a man who just
butt-fucks his walk-off line
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00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,053
- and then...
- Happy birthday, boss.
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00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,063
I know it's the same shit every
year, but what do you get
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00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,724
the guy who has everything, right?
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00:07:12,725 --> 00:07:15,056
More coke.
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00:07:15,057 --> 00:07:17,515
- You guys get me.
- Yeah!
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00:07:35,675 --> 00:07:37,229
Scusi.
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I seem to have come down with
a bad case of the first days.
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Uh, I have an interview
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- at Morgan St...
- Hold on a second, Scotty.
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00:07:42,349 --> 00:07:43,545
- Sorry.
- Get cancer.
137
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,599
No, no, I just stepped in some dog shit.
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Pretty wild, right?
139
00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:57,181
Yeah, it's awful.
140
00:07:57,182 --> 00:07:59,796
If this is trading, I may
have picked the wrong career.
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00:08:00,683 --> 00:08:03,640
Oh. Uh, this is awkward.
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00:08:03,641 --> 00:08:06,017
Ty Daverman, Morgan Stanley.
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00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,783
We spoke on the phone. You're Blair?
144
00:08:07,784 --> 00:08:09,724
Yes, Blair. Yes, Blair Pfaff.
145
00:08:09,725 --> 00:08:11,765
Yes, it's a very... it's
very nice to meet you, sir.
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00:08:11,766 --> 00:08:13,682
Hey, before when I said I may
have picked the wrong career,
147
00:08:13,683 --> 00:08:16,001
I meant that as a, uh... a joke.
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Joking's kind of my strong suit.
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00:08:17,766 --> 00:08:20,015
I mean, obviously trading
is my strong suit.
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00:08:20,016 --> 00:08:22,042
What are my weaknesses?
That's a great question.
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00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,502
I can only think of three...
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Caring too much, working too
hard, and caring too much.
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00:08:26,474 --> 00:08:28,931
And I just repeated myself,
so that's four weaknesses,
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00:08:28,932 --> 00:08:30,432
'cause I... That's a repeating weakness.
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Wow, good thing I'm
not interviewing you,
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'cause I think you'd shit your
pants in the next two seconds.
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I think so.
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You're here to interview me, kid.
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00:08:38,910 --> 00:08:41,019
- I am?
- You're top recruit on the street.
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00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,714
Everybody's buzzing about
this, uh, trading algorithm
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00:08:43,715 --> 00:08:46,042
you developed for your
MBA thesis at Wharton.
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00:08:46,043 --> 00:08:48,557
Hey, I'm a Wharthog myself.
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00:08:52,683 --> 00:08:53,996
Look, you're gonna have
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00:08:53,997 --> 00:08:55,963
your pick of the top shops, all right?
165
00:08:55,964 --> 00:08:58,203
But you want to be a MoStan man.
166
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,807
Technology... we're on the
cutting edge, all right?
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00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,942
From mobile phones as small as toasters
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00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,931
to computers big as barns.
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00:09:06,488 --> 00:09:08,370
Here, consider it a gift.
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00:09:08,371 --> 00:09:09,471
Seriously?
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00:09:09,472 --> 00:09:12,265
Now, let's let these animals
fight over the scraps.
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00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:13,862
I'll show you what the world
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00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:16,026
looks like to a MoStan man.
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00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:26,848
Lenny Lehman.
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00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,409
I'm Larry.
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00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:31,345
I'm Lenny. You really
can't tell us apart?
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00:09:31,346 --> 00:09:32,644
Wait a minute, I forget.
Now, which one of you
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00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:33,893
is a virgin, and which one of you
179
00:09:33,894 --> 00:09:36,033
ain't never been laid before?
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00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,473
We call that a dis!
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00:09:37,474 --> 00:09:39,765
Really? Well, if you
were an identical twin,
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00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:42,164
I would ask you, which one of
you is under investigation,
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00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,659
and which one of you has
already been investigated?
184
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:48,832
Now, that's a "dist."
185
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:50,433
What do you assholes want, anyway?
186
00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:52,716
What do we... wha... you
came here. What do you want?
187
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:55,469
I would like to be a pair of
Downtown Julie Brown's socks,
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00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,307
but in the meantime, I'll
take your shares of Georgina.
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00:09:58,308 --> 00:09:59,893
Georgina? The women's jeanery?
190
00:09:59,894 --> 00:10:01,213
Len, do we even own any of that?
191
00:10:01,214 --> 00:10:03,390
Yeah, Lar, we bought a
chunk of that a while back
192
00:10:03,391 --> 00:10:04,765
to offset our capital gain...
193
00:10:04,766 --> 00:10:05,979
Just give me the fucking shares.
194
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,890
Then we'll go have brunch
afterwards, on me.
195
00:10:07,891 --> 00:10:09,112
Cheetah's Topless... What do you say?
196
00:10:09,113 --> 00:10:10,447
Free ta-tas and frittatas?
197
00:10:10,448 --> 00:10:12,761
- Ew.
- Why Georgina? It's a dog.
198
00:10:12,762 --> 00:10:15,133
No big whoop. They cut a nice jean.
199
00:10:15,134 --> 00:10:16,156
I don't know about that.
200
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,659
We're all Cavaricci all
the time, but okay.
201
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,979
Len, what's a fair price
for our block of Georgina?
202
00:10:20,980 --> 00:10:22,322
Well, it's trading at six,
203
00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:24,807
so based on projected
future earnings, I'd say...
204
00:10:24,808 --> 00:10:26,348
One million dollars a share?
205
00:10:29,573 --> 00:10:31,347
Why don't you two stop
fucking each other
206
00:10:31,348 --> 00:10:33,268
for five minutes and sell
me some goddamn stock?
207
00:10:33,269 --> 00:10:34,909
- That was a rumor.
- I've never fucked my brother!
208
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:37,431
- That was a rumor.
- I've never fucked my brother!
209
00:10:37,432 --> 00:10:39,056
I-I know that. That was a joke.
210
00:10:39,057 --> 00:10:41,231
It would be insane if you guys
were actually fucking each other.
211
00:10:41,232 --> 00:10:42,737
Yeah, exactly, Mo!
212
00:10:42,738 --> 00:10:45,065
So, uh, maybe you should scram, okay?
213
00:10:45,066 --> 00:10:47,440
You're making us late for
our stand-up comedy class.
214
00:10:47,441 --> 00:10:49,566
Get that money.
215
00:10:50,932 --> 00:10:54,017
- Eight.
- Twenty.
216
00:10:54,018 --> 00:10:55,058
Nine and a half.
217
00:10:55,059 --> 00:10:57,390
- Twenty.
- Ten.
218
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:58,705
- Twenty-five.
- Thirty.
219
00:10:58,706 --> 00:11:00,766
- Ooh, this is fun.
- You fuck...
220
00:11:03,477 --> 00:11:04,873
All right...
221
00:11:06,349 --> 00:11:07,348
eighteen.
222
00:11:07,349 --> 00:11:08,940
- Really?
- Yeah.
223
00:11:08,941 --> 00:11:10,620
Eighteen on two million shares?
224
00:11:10,621 --> 00:11:11,705
- Yeah.
- Great.
225
00:11:11,706 --> 00:11:13,347
Thirty-six million
dollars by close today,
226
00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:14,598
or the deal is off.
227
00:11:14,599 --> 00:11:16,400
Great. That's an excellent
fucking timeframe.
228
00:11:16,401 --> 00:11:17,930
If you were to give me a
menu of timeframes and say,
229
00:11:17,931 --> 00:11:18,969
"Mo, you want to pick a time"...
230
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,765
It was a pleasure doing bus...
231
00:11:20,766 --> 00:11:22,125
- Oh.
- One, two...
232
00:11:22,126 --> 00:11:23,665
It was a pleasure doing
business with you,
233
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,393
- Mr. Monroe.
- Jesus Christ.
234
00:11:26,641 --> 00:11:28,688
- You call yourself a twin?
- This is your thing.
235
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,807
I don't want to do the
talking at the same time.
236
00:11:30,808 --> 00:11:32,634
Thanks.
237
00:11:32,635 --> 00:11:35,461
Hey, Tiff, guess what I'm doing.
238
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,227
Walking!
239
00:11:37,228 --> 00:11:40,578
Yeah, the guys from Morgan
gave me a mobile phone.
240
00:11:40,579 --> 00:11:42,868
I'm walking and talking!
241
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,640
I'm still sort of
getting the hang of it,
242
00:11:44,641 --> 00:11:45,790
but guess what else.
243
00:11:45,791 --> 00:11:48,916
Morgan, Lehman, Goldman
all made crazy offers.
244
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,422
Yeah, go out and buy yourself
something really expensive,
245
00:11:51,423 --> 00:11:53,492
'cause we got a lot
to celebrate tonight.
246
00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:54,765
A lot.
247
00:11:54,766 --> 00:11:55,515
Get ready...
248
00:11:55,516 --> 00:11:58,039
Oh, oh!
249
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,016
Oh, I am so sorry.
250
00:12:00,017 --> 00:12:01,821
That, uh, was a total accident.
251
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,797
God, what is this, parmesan? That is...
252
00:12:03,798 --> 00:12:04,891
All right.
253
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,390
You're Maurice Monroe.
You're Mo the Marauder.
254
00:12:08,391 --> 00:12:09,751
I r-read about you in
the newspaper today.
255
00:12:09,752 --> 00:12:11,484
I'm so sorry. That was a very...
That was a bad accident
256
00:12:11,485 --> 00:12:12,969
- on my part. I'm so sorry.
- Kid, kid, it's all right.
257
00:12:12,970 --> 00:12:14,540
It's all... listen.
It's all right, okay?
258
00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:16,515
Accidents happen. Accidents happen!
259
00:12:16,516 --> 00:12:18,181
Accidents happen.
260
00:12:18,182 --> 00:12:19,973
Thank you. Thanks.
261
00:12:19,974 --> 00:12:22,265
Well, you know my name. What's yours?
262
00:12:22,266 --> 00:12:24,682
- Blair.
- No, really, what's your name?
263
00:12:24,683 --> 00:12:26,359
- Uh, Blair.
- Oh.
264
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,250
Yeah, it's actually much
more common for a man
265
00:12:28,251 --> 00:12:29,293
than for a woman, yeah.
266
00:12:29,294 --> 00:12:31,056
I mean, think of all the
famous male Blairs, right?
267
00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:33,473
There's-there's L.A. Law
heartthrob Blair Underwood.
268
00:12:33,474 --> 00:12:34,937
- Yes.
- Right? There's, uh, former
269
00:12:34,938 --> 00:12:37,015
Secretary of State of
Maryland Blair Lee III.
270
00:12:37,016 --> 00:12:39,195
And who could forget British
Lieutenant Governor
271
00:12:39,196 --> 00:12:40,765
Sir Blair Aubyn Stewart-Wilson?
272
00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:42,557
I mean, that guy was equerry
to Her Majesty, the Queen.
273
00:12:42,558 --> 00:12:43,915
You really know your Blairs.
274
00:12:43,916 --> 00:12:45,813
- I do, I do.
- Well, who do you work for?
275
00:12:45,814 --> 00:12:48,473
Well, I-I'm fielding
multiple offers right now.
276
00:12:48,474 --> 00:12:52,470
I mean, between you and me, I'm
kind of hot on the street.
277
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:54,724
You lucky son of a
bitch. That's exciting.
278
00:12:54,725 --> 00:12:56,273
- It is exciting.
- Hey, everybody!
279
00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:57,570
- No, come on.
- No, no, it's fine.
280
00:12:57,571 --> 00:12:58,867
- No, sir, I really...
- Don't worry about it. Listen.
281
00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:01,098
Um, if anyone here hires
282
00:13:01,099 --> 00:13:04,265
Blair Bat Mitzvah Fucking
Girl's Name, whatever,
283
00:13:04,266 --> 00:13:06,348
I will personally be on the other side
284
00:13:06,349 --> 00:13:08,992
of every trade you make until you die,
285
00:13:08,993 --> 00:13:10,148
which will be soon,
286
00:13:10,149 --> 00:13:11,720
because you will jump out of a window
287
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:13,493
because you're bankrupt, at which point
288
00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:14,935
I will go to your homes,
289
00:13:14,936 --> 00:13:16,628
and I will make love to your wife...
290
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,130
...and your kids,
291
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,557
depending on age and gender and looks.
292
00:13:21,558 --> 00:13:23,765
Let's be honest... It's
mostly gonna be looks.
293
00:13:23,766 --> 00:13:25,581
Okay, everybody got that?
294
00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:29,265
I am willing to lose a mil a day
295
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,307
to prevent Rachel Girl's
Fucking Name here...
296
00:13:32,308 --> 00:13:34,495
...from ever being employed
297
00:13:34,496 --> 00:13:37,666
for the rest of her natural
or unnatural fucking life...
298
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:39,940
Whichever comes first.
Everybody clear on that?
299
00:13:39,941 --> 00:13:41,996
All right. As you were.
300
00:13:41,997 --> 00:13:43,305
- No, sir, sir, this was...
- As you were.
301
00:13:43,306 --> 00:13:45,640
Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
302
00:13:45,641 --> 00:13:47,265
Is everything okay here, Mr. Monroe?
303
00:13:47,266 --> 00:13:48,890
Yeah, everything's okay,
except this fucking kid
304
00:13:48,891 --> 00:13:51,164
doesn't know how to walk or do coke.
305
00:13:52,057 --> 00:13:53,415
Oh, it's cocaine.
306
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,528
No, no, it's not my coke.
I don't... I don't do...
307
00:13:55,529 --> 00:13:57,348
Oh, it's not your coke? Are
you saying it's my coke?
308
00:13:57,349 --> 00:13:59,181
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying it...
309
00:13:59,182 --> 00:14:00,622
Wait, are you calling
me a fucking cokehead?
310
00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:02,083
- No, I'm not saying...
- Well, I do do coke.
311
00:14:02,084 --> 00:14:04,181
In fact, it's my second
favorite thing to do.
312
00:14:04,182 --> 00:14:06,140
You know what my first
favorite thing is? Money.
313
00:14:06,141 --> 00:14:07,890
Now, my third favorite
thing is rolling up
314
00:14:07,891 --> 00:14:09,640
my first favorite thing
and doing a mountain
315
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,412
of my fucking second favorite thing.
316
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:14,807
But, Chong, here's the real
thing... drugs on the floor
317
00:14:14,808 --> 00:14:16,786
is a two-year suspension,
if I'm correct.
318
00:14:16,787 --> 00:14:18,294
Okay, now... n-now,
okay. Okay, all right.
319
00:14:18,295 --> 00:14:19,364
No, you see, this was
a misunderstanding.
320
00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:20,432
All right, Let me settle this.
321
00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:22,098
Does anyone know whose coke this is?
322
00:14:22,099 --> 00:14:23,646
It's the kid's coke... dropped
right out of his pocket.
323
00:14:23,647 --> 00:14:24,936
- Let's go.
- Yeah, total basehead.
324
00:14:24,937 --> 00:14:26,522
He tried to sell me heroin last week.
325
00:14:26,523 --> 00:14:28,295
- Did you check him for a gun?
- Gun!
326
00:14:28,296 --> 00:14:30,432
Yeah, party's over, Scarface!
327
00:14:30,433 --> 00:14:32,265
No! No, no, no. Mr. Daverman.
328
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:33,973
Mr. Daverman. I will take that job.
329
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,599
I am definitely a MoStan man.
330
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,307
No, you're not, Blair.
331
00:14:37,308 --> 00:14:39,427
By the way, you got a chick's name.
332
00:14:39,428 --> 00:14:42,294
It's much more common for a man!
333
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,640
How rich are we?
334
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,153
Ooh! What's all this?
335
00:14:56,154 --> 00:14:58,021
It's cocaine, but I can explain.
336
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,973
No explanation necessary, babe.
337
00:14:59,974 --> 00:15:01,931
Let's celebrate. Now, just tell me...
338
00:15:03,498 --> 00:15:06,015
...are we talking house
money, or summer-house money?
339
00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:08,181
'Cause I saw this place today.
Now, it's definitely crazy.
340
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:09,732
- But it's not insane.
- Babe.
341
00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:11,786
It's Saddam Hussein's condo
for when he's in New York.
342
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,098
It's a total gut job, but
the bones are amazing.
343
00:15:14,099 --> 00:15:16,265
Hey, speaking of jobs...
344
00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,848
So, um...
345
00:15:18,849 --> 00:15:23,098
I didn't get any, and I never will,
346
00:15:23,099 --> 00:15:25,146
but it's not a bad thing.
347
00:15:25,147 --> 00:15:27,377
Remember that screenplay
I wrote in college?
348
00:15:27,378 --> 00:15:30,084
Hear me out. What if we go to L.A...
349
00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:34,897
I'm sorry.
350
00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:38,630
I-I think I wa... I was
just reacting to your joke?
351
00:15:38,631 --> 00:15:39,890
W-what's happening, Blair?
352
00:15:39,891 --> 00:15:42,083
You told me you had three job offers.
353
00:15:42,084 --> 00:15:46,223
I did, and it was a real...
real dream come true,
354
00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:49,818
until I met basically the Freddy Krueger
355
00:15:49,819 --> 00:15:51,056
of Wall Street,
356
00:15:51,057 --> 00:15:53,265
and he entered that precious dream,
357
00:15:53,266 --> 00:15:55,553
and he shredded it,
358
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,890
like Freddy Krueger is wont to do.
359
00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:01,515
But you know what? We don't
need money to be happy.
360
00:16:01,516 --> 00:16:03,473
I'm sorry. That must be some sort
361
00:16:03,474 --> 00:16:05,098
of fight-or-flight
thing, but this is okay.
362
00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:06,568
Okay. This is okay.
363
00:16:08,433 --> 00:16:10,015
You'll just go...
364
00:16:10,016 --> 00:16:11,482
You'll go work for my dad!
365
00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:14,036
No, I told you I'm gonna
make it on my own.
366
00:16:14,037 --> 00:16:16,630
I'm dating a success, Blair.
367
00:16:16,631 --> 00:16:18,640
The only question is,
is it gonna be you,
368
00:16:18,641 --> 00:16:20,194
or is it gonna be Nat
Hayes, who's been trying
369
00:16:20,195 --> 00:16:22,825
to get his fingers in me
since a cappella camp?
370
00:16:22,826 --> 00:16:24,739
- Oh...
- Someone took your job?
371
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:26,599
Take it back.
372
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,181
Yeah.
373
00:16:28,182 --> 00:16:29,419
Yeah, you're right.
374
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,390
This doesn't have to be the end of me.
375
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,848
Yeah, I could just...
I could just lay low
376
00:16:33,849 --> 00:16:36,973
for, what, like, a year or two,
let that old guard die out...
377
00:16:36,974 --> 00:16:38,170
- Ah!
- What is this thing...
378
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:40,326
- A dick or a vagina?
- Babe, language!
379
00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:43,973
If this is, in fact, a dick
and not a long dangling clit
380
00:16:43,974 --> 00:16:45,685
and you ever want to put it in me again,
381
00:16:45,686 --> 00:16:48,840
you will go down there
and get your dream back.
382
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:52,973
So tell me... Is this
a dick or a vagina?
383
00:16:52,974 --> 00:16:54,777
I think we both know that it...
384
00:16:54,778 --> 00:16:56,638
Do you have a dick or a vagina?
385
00:16:56,639 --> 00:16:57,974
I have a penis!
386
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:00,255
Should we have sex really quick?
387
00:17:00,256 --> 00:17:01,848
- 'Cause I'm super...
- Ah, ah, ah, ah...
388
00:17:01,849 --> 00:17:03,056
...jazzed.
389
00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:04,310
No. Yeah, I get you.
390
00:17:04,311 --> 00:17:05,931
I'm gonna go get my job,
391
00:17:05,932 --> 00:17:08,640
and then I'm gonna come
back and do sex on you.
392
00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:11,765
And then we're gonna get some TCBY.
393
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:13,432
- Ooh.
- You want yogurt?
394
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,903
- Yes.
- Mommy, baby want yogurt.
395
00:17:14,904 --> 00:17:16,807
- Oh, I want chocolate.
- I want sprinkles...
396
00:17:16,808 --> 00:17:18,682
...Mommy!
397
00:17:18,683 --> 00:17:20,053
Get down there and get your job back.
398
00:17:20,054 --> 00:17:21,182
Okay.
399
00:17:22,849 --> 00:17:24,271
Gang, listen up.
400
00:17:24,272 --> 00:17:26,682
I got some good news, and
I got some better news.
401
00:17:26,683 --> 00:17:28,848
Good news... Don Henley is confirmed
402
00:17:28,849 --> 00:17:31,310
for my bitchin' B-day
blowout party tonight.
403
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,450
Ooh, I love him.
404
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:33,881
You know, I don't really
fuck with the guy's music,
405
00:17:33,882 --> 00:17:35,295
but, you know, his album's number one,
406
00:17:35,296 --> 00:17:36,307
and my party's gonna be number one,
407
00:17:36,308 --> 00:17:37,682
so it just kind of made sense.
408
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:38,914
And the better news...
409
00:17:38,915 --> 00:17:41,682
I have acquired the Lehman
Brother's block of Georgina.
410
00:17:41,683 --> 00:17:43,015
- Nice.
- Holy shit.
411
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:44,179
Whoo!
412
00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:45,657
What'd you pay?
413
00:17:45,658 --> 00:17:47,682
Can I live?
414
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:49,953
Jesus Christ, Dawn, you don't ask a man
415
00:17:49,954 --> 00:17:51,539
how much he spent on a gift,
416
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:54,182
which is exactly what that is for you.
417
00:17:56,599 --> 00:17:57,765
- Eighteen.
- Ooh.
418
00:17:57,766 --> 00:17:59,828
Eighteen? It's at six and a half!
419
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,348
- We don't have that kind of cash.
- I will fucking borrow it, Dawn.
420
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,890
Mo, you are risking everything!
421
00:18:05,932 --> 00:18:07,703
That's the best part.
422
00:18:07,704 --> 00:18:10,210
Dawn, co... you remember Top Gun, right?
423
00:18:10,211 --> 00:18:12,015
Of course I remember Top Gun.
You-you-you made me see it
424
00:18:12,016 --> 00:18:13,976
- three times opening night.
- Yes, I did.
425
00:18:13,977 --> 00:18:15,780
And you know what? It
wasn't a good movie.
426
00:18:15,781 --> 00:18:16,477
Yes, it was!
427
00:18:16,478 --> 00:18:17,515
It was just a bunch of white boys trying
428
00:18:17,516 --> 00:18:18,867
to butt-fuck each other in the clouds.
429
00:18:18,868 --> 00:18:20,498
Okay, yes, those undertones did exist,
430
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,559
but that's not the fucking point of
what I'm trying to tell you here.
431
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,878
I'm saying that if they
had not risked it all,
432
00:18:24,879 --> 00:18:26,446
where would Goose and Mav be right now?
433
00:18:26,447 --> 00:18:28,557
Goose would probably be alive.
434
00:18:28,558 --> 00:18:29,848
- We don't know that, Dawn!
- Oh, come on!
435
00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:31,931
Okay? Goose was very reckless.
436
00:18:31,932 --> 00:18:33,765
Mav said, "Watch the fucking canopy."
437
00:18:33,766 --> 00:18:35,098
- Well, he fucking...
- And what did Goose do?
438
00:18:35,099 --> 00:18:37,118
Hey!
439
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:40,098
Bet you didn't think
you'd see this me again.
440
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:42,580
This guy! Me!
441
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:46,473
Wow. I am very glad you're here.
442
00:18:46,474 --> 00:18:47,883
- Really?
- Yeah.
443
00:18:47,884 --> 00:18:49,766
I would like a tuna fish
sandwich, hold the carrots,
444
00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:51,259
and a Crystal Pepsi. Anybody?
445
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,399
No, I'm the guy from the floor.
446
00:18:54,068 --> 00:18:56,155
- With the cocaine.
- Oh! Thank God.
447
00:18:56,156 --> 00:18:57,807
- Hey, coke guy's here!
- Uh, let me get
448
00:18:57,808 --> 00:18:59,515
two eight balls and, uh,
what's that new thing
449
00:18:59,516 --> 00:19:00,599
everybody's talking about? Crack? Crack?
450
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,765
- Oh, two cracks.
- Just regular cocaine for me.
451
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:03,914
No, no, no, let's be innovative.
452
00:19:03,915 --> 00:19:05,477
Cracks. Cracks for everybody, guys!
453
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,515
- Yeah.
- No one is getting cracks!
454
00:19:07,516 --> 00:19:08,724
Oh.
455
00:19:08,725 --> 00:19:10,524
I am Blair Pfaff.
456
00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:13,664
Rachel the Bat Mitzvah Girl.
457
00:19:13,665 --> 00:19:17,473
Yes. You are the motherfucker
that ruined my suit.
458
00:19:17,474 --> 00:19:18,807
Yeah, and you're the motherfucker
459
00:19:18,808 --> 00:19:20,453
who ruined my life.
460
00:19:20,454 --> 00:19:22,599
Suit's worth more. It was a Bijan.
461
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,234
- Had to throw it in the trash.
- It was a Bijan?
462
00:19:24,235 --> 00:19:26,398
Shut the fuck up.
463
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,375
You think you scare me?
464
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:31,724
My dad beat me every day
of my life until he died,
465
00:19:31,725 --> 00:19:33,848
and he literally died of a heart attack
466
00:19:33,849 --> 00:19:35,258
while beating me.
467
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:38,348
You got to be fucking shitting me.
468
00:19:38,349 --> 00:19:39,552
- Is that true?
- Yeah.
469
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,473
I worked two jobs to get my degree.
470
00:19:41,474 --> 00:19:42,807
I worked three to get my MBA,
471
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,148
and yet I still had enough time
472
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:45,765
to develop an algorithm
that, when backtested,
473
00:19:45,766 --> 00:19:49,595
beat every house on the street,
including your chop shop, okay?
474
00:19:49,596 --> 00:19:51,314
So I'm here as a warning.
475
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,983
I'm gonna use this "cocaine possession
476
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:56,931
with intent to distribute"
charge as motivation
477
00:19:56,932 --> 00:19:59,742
to become the biggest
swinging dick on Wall Street.
478
00:19:59,743 --> 00:20:02,187
So here's what you can do, Mo.
479
00:20:02,188 --> 00:20:06,140
You can go downstairs and
un-take the giant poo
480
00:20:06,141 --> 00:20:08,098
you took on my career.
481
00:20:08,099 --> 00:20:11,094
Or guess what. I'm gonna be on
the other side of every trade
482
00:20:11,095 --> 00:20:13,515
you make for the rest of your life.
483
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:16,098
- Mm.
- I'm gonna call an ambulance.
484
00:20:17,673 --> 00:20:19,390
What kind of car you drive, kid?
485
00:20:19,391 --> 00:20:21,681
Oh, 'cause I drive a Honda
and you drive a Porsche?
486
00:20:21,682 --> 00:20:23,961
I don't drive shit. I get driven.
487
00:20:23,962 --> 00:20:26,348
- Mm-hmm.
- In a Lamborghini limousine,
488
00:20:26,349 --> 00:20:29,758
aka a Lambo limo, aka a Limbo.
489
00:20:29,759 --> 00:20:32,258
So you get none of the
speed of a Lamborghini
490
00:20:32,259 --> 00:20:33,848
and none of the comfort of a limousine?
491
00:20:33,849 --> 00:20:35,724
Yeah, but it costs twice as
much as both, obvious...
492
00:20:35,725 --> 00:20:37,848
This guy is not a car guy.
You're not a car guy.
493
00:20:37,849 --> 00:20:39,992
- I don't like your fucking tone.
- You don't know shit about cracks.
494
00:20:39,993 --> 00:20:41,490
Who are you, Pfaff?
495
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,311
Who are you?
496
00:20:44,312 --> 00:20:47,180
Mr. Hotshot with an Algorithm's
got all these guys downstairs
497
00:20:47,181 --> 00:20:49,336
jizzing in their fucking pants.
498
00:20:50,017 --> 00:20:51,812
Well, let me ask you
something. You want to...
499
00:20:51,813 --> 00:20:53,724
you want to give it a test-drive?
500
00:20:53,725 --> 00:20:54,899
What?
501
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,828
I'll put 50K in an account.
502
00:20:56,829 --> 00:21:00,811
And you double that by
close, and you get a job.
503
00:21:00,812 --> 00:21:03,390
You don't, I get your car.
504
00:21:03,391 --> 00:21:04,890
Why do you want a shitty Honda?
505
00:21:04,891 --> 00:21:06,164
I don't want a "shitty Honda."
506
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,058
I want your shitty Honda.
507
00:21:09,016 --> 00:21:10,432
- Okay.
- Okay, great.
508
00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:12,071
Dawn will set you up with an account.
509
00:21:12,072 --> 00:21:13,724
Don't let those titties
fool you, all right?
510
00:21:13,725 --> 00:21:15,807
She's got the biggest set
of nuts on Wall Street.
511
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:17,640
Now, if you will "excusez-me-moi,"
512
00:21:17,641 --> 00:21:19,094
I got about three and a half hours
513
00:21:19,095 --> 00:21:20,914
to borrow 36 million bucks.
514
00:21:20,915 --> 00:21:23,599
- Chad, moisten me.
- Wha...
515
00:21:25,725 --> 00:21:26,876
I'm not a...
516
00:21:27,641 --> 00:21:29,056
...allowed to trade.
517
00:21:29,057 --> 00:21:31,071
I'm being investigated
for cocaine, remember?
518
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:33,557
Kid, who isn't?
519
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,557
I fucking freebased
with the mayor of D.C.
520
00:21:35,558 --> 00:21:37,070
- Ah! Mayor Barry.
- Tough on crime.
521
00:21:37,071 --> 00:21:39,265
But you are about to
learn a valuable lesson
522
00:21:39,266 --> 00:21:41,098
that your fucking MBA
523
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:43,243
and all your bullshit education
could not teach you.
524
00:21:43,244 --> 00:21:46,602
The only algorithm that
a real trader needs
525
00:21:46,603 --> 00:21:48,992
is the ♪ Algo-rhythm of the night ♪
526
00:21:48,993 --> 00:21:51,017
Ooh! You just got DeBarged.
527
00:22:04,070 --> 00:22:06,265
Okay, everybody, ten Gs,
528
00:22:06,266 --> 00:22:09,640
Michael J. Cocksucker here
goes bust in an hour!
529
00:22:09,641 --> 00:22:12,432
No, fucking make that 15! I got 15!
530
00:22:36,057 --> 00:22:39,223
Whoa! Not okay!
531
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:41,152
Not cool!
532
00:22:49,766 --> 00:22:51,307
That's why I love you, Sergei.
533
00:22:55,849 --> 00:22:57,848
- This is working?
- Kid's got a shot.
534
00:22:57,849 --> 00:22:59,515
Fucking...
535
00:23:00,932 --> 00:23:02,931
Dude, we just fixed that wall!
536
00:23:02,932 --> 00:23:04,473
Hey, I got the...
537
00:23:04,474 --> 00:23:06,015
Just coming through there? Okay.
538
00:23:09,349 --> 00:23:10,636
Shit.
539
00:23:12,254 --> 00:23:14,348
Yeah.
540
00:23:16,597 --> 00:23:19,432
Wow. Hey, uh...
541
00:23:24,391 --> 00:23:25,924
Whoa!
542
00:23:25,925 --> 00:23:28,265
That's a lot of blood for a little guy.
543
00:23:28,266 --> 00:23:30,140
Shit. I can't believe it.
544
00:23:30,141 --> 00:23:31,800
This guy's gonna get to 100.
545
00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:33,515
Oh, this is bullshit.
546
00:23:33,516 --> 00:23:34,918
How the fuck is this happening?
547
00:23:34,919 --> 00:23:36,515
Hang on, hang on.
548
00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:37,620
- Oh, shit.
- It's dropping!
549
00:23:37,621 --> 00:23:39,542
Here come the short sellers.
550
00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:42,296
- Oh!
- No, no, no.
551
00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:45,724
Oh! Fuck! You!
552
00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:48,174
Pay up, Dawn! Cheetah's Topless!
553
00:23:48,175 --> 00:23:49,682
First round of head's on me. Let's go.
554
00:23:49,683 --> 00:23:50,752
Come on, there you go.
555
00:23:50,753 --> 00:23:51,971
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you very much.
556
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,014
- Yeah, yeah.
- Bye-bye.
557
00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:54,848
See you at the party, Dawn.
558
00:23:54,849 --> 00:23:56,307
Shit.
559
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,848
You bet on me to win?
560
00:23:59,849 --> 00:24:03,181
Mm, actually, I bet you'd lose it all.
561
00:24:03,182 --> 00:24:06,682
That last 84 cent cost me 15 grand.
562
00:24:06,683 --> 00:24:08,902
Well, too bad you won't
be sticking around.
563
00:24:08,903 --> 00:24:10,309
You're cute, kid.
564
00:24:10,766 --> 00:24:13,994
But you're the worst trader in
Manhattan since the Indians.
565
00:24:21,568 --> 00:24:22,848
Hey, brother-fuckers.
566
00:24:22,849 --> 00:24:23,879
That's a rumor!
567
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,682
- That's a goddamn rumor!
- Rumor.
568
00:24:25,683 --> 00:24:28,535
This is a buy order for
all your Georgina shares.
569
00:24:28,536 --> 00:24:30,724
So, if you would please sign this
570
00:24:30,725 --> 00:24:33,934
before I have to call INS or
child protective services
571
00:24:33,935 --> 00:24:35,973
or whatever the fuck it is
you guys got going here.
572
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,056
You know, Len, as much as
I'd like to deny Mr. Monroe
573
00:24:38,057 --> 00:24:40,458
of something he desires...
574
00:24:40,459 --> 00:24:42,466
remember what Daddy always said.
575
00:24:42,467 --> 00:24:45,098
"Never walk away from a
dollar that makes sense."
576
00:24:45,099 --> 00:24:46,599
Oh, wow.
577
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,098
Well, you know, your daddy
sounds like a schmuck!
578
00:24:49,099 --> 00:24:51,301
Boom!
579
00:24:51,302 --> 00:24:53,422
How does it feel to
get mowed down by Mo,
580
00:24:53,423 --> 00:24:55,091
you double McFucks?
581
00:24:56,890 --> 00:24:59,223
How do you say "give us
the room" in Korean?
582
00:24:59,224 --> 00:25:00,599
You know what? Never mind. Just leave.
583
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,989
All the Koreans in the room, leave.
584
00:25:01,990 --> 00:25:03,770
Every Korean in the room,
get out of the room.
585
00:25:03,771 --> 00:25:05,388
Sorry, ladies, you're
gonna miss the show.
586
00:25:05,389 --> 00:25:06,554
You know what's gonna be amazing?
587
00:25:06,555 --> 00:25:08,548
When I redecorate this
fucking place, right?
588
00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:11,307
Out with the blue blood,
in with the new blood.
589
00:25:11,308 --> 00:25:13,223
You know, Len, I think I
know what Mo's up to.
590
00:25:13,224 --> 00:25:15,004
You think he's trying...?
591
00:25:15,005 --> 00:25:17,099
The Georgina play.
592
00:25:18,516 --> 00:25:19,931
Well, uh, guess what.
593
00:25:19,932 --> 00:25:22,145
You figured it out two
signatures too late.
594
00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:24,473
By this time tomorrow, I'll be at 51%,
595
00:25:24,474 --> 00:25:27,181
and I'll be richer than both of
you two fucks fucked together.
596
00:25:27,182 --> 00:25:30,191
No, no, you'll only get to 49%,
597
00:25:30,192 --> 00:25:32,848
and then you'll quickly
realize that Georgina
598
00:25:32,849 --> 00:25:34,802
is the white whale of Wall Street.
599
00:25:34,803 --> 00:25:36,637
Oh, whale? I love whale.
600
00:25:36,638 --> 00:25:38,807
Chez Luc does an off-menu
humpback carpaccio
601
00:25:38,808 --> 00:25:40,557
that's to die for.
602
00:25:40,558 --> 00:25:45,056
In 1861, Georgina Jeans... Or
as it was known at the time,
603
00:25:45,057 --> 00:25:47,307
Georgina Amalgamated Slave Holdings...
604
00:25:47,308 --> 00:25:50,682
Decided to stop selling slaves
and start making pants.
605
00:25:50,683 --> 00:25:51,856
For slaves.
606
00:25:51,857 --> 00:25:54,385
Eventually slavery went out of fashion.
607
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:58,098
But, ironically, those pants
became very fashionable.
608
00:25:58,099 --> 00:25:59,807
The company took off.
609
00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,935
Ever since, their warehouses
have made them a target
610
00:26:02,936 --> 00:26:04,015
for takeovers.
611
00:26:04,016 --> 00:26:06,689
Better men than you,
Maurice, have fallen prey
612
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:09,066
to the siren song of Lady Georgina.
613
00:26:09,067 --> 00:26:11,777
But she's left them all
bankrupt, suicidal,
614
00:26:11,778 --> 00:26:13,515
or even worse...
615
00:26:13,516 --> 00:26:14,807
Middle class.
616
00:26:14,808 --> 00:26:16,265
Yeah, well, until now.
617
00:26:16,266 --> 00:26:17,432
Until never.
618
00:26:17,433 --> 00:26:20,056
The Georgina family owns 51%
619
00:26:20,057 --> 00:26:22,473
hidden in shell companies
within shell companies
620
00:26:22,474 --> 00:26:24,473
that would take a million Jew lawyers
621
00:26:24,474 --> 00:26:26,375
a million Jew years to jew out.
622
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:28,724
And the family keeps it
a well-guarded secret
623
00:26:28,725 --> 00:26:32,682
so that anyone attempting
a takeover gets burned.
624
00:26:32,683 --> 00:26:34,890
- Sometimes literally.
- Sometimes literally!
625
00:26:34,891 --> 00:26:37,223
Our grand-père, Leonitis Lehman
626
00:26:37,224 --> 00:26:38,890
set himself ablaze
627
00:26:38,891 --> 00:26:41,541
after his failed attempt
triggered the '29 crash.
628
00:26:41,542 --> 00:26:43,918
So, unless your last name is Georgina,
629
00:26:43,919 --> 00:26:46,473
good luck unloading the most toxic stock
630
00:26:46,474 --> 00:26:48,564
in the history of Wall Street.
631
00:26:48,565 --> 00:26:50,473
Hey, Len, I got a good one for you.
632
00:26:50,474 --> 00:26:52,928
Where do all the
rock-star traders go out
633
00:26:52,929 --> 00:26:55,307
after they trade with the Lehmans?
634
00:26:55,308 --> 00:26:57,432
- A window.
- Oh, that's funny.
635
00:26:57,433 --> 00:26:59,617
Those comedy classes
are really paying off.
636
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,594
Your comedy classes suck!
637
00:27:01,595 --> 00:27:03,558
And your timing is for shit!
638
00:27:05,641 --> 00:27:06,899
I'm gonna go now.
639
00:27:08,224 --> 00:27:09,683
Good luck.
640
00:27:17,766 --> 00:27:18,848
Ugh.
641
00:27:18,849 --> 00:27:21,390
Ugh. Shit.
642
00:27:21,391 --> 00:27:22,973
- Wow.
- I know.
643
00:27:22,974 --> 00:27:24,640
It's pretty gross, right?
644
00:27:24,641 --> 00:27:26,530
- Ugh!
- No, no, no.
645
00:27:26,531 --> 00:27:27,672
I'm talking about you.
646
00:27:27,673 --> 00:27:29,007
Good thing these sprinklers don't work.
647
00:27:29,008 --> 00:27:31,140
It'd be...
648
00:27:31,141 --> 00:27:32,973
Well, you know, I did
have to come correct
649
00:27:32,974 --> 00:27:35,223
- for your party, right?
- Yes, you did.
650
00:27:36,433 --> 00:27:39,307
So how'd it go with the Lehmans today?
651
00:27:39,308 --> 00:27:41,640
Fucking outstanding.
How else could it go?
652
00:27:41,641 --> 00:27:42,786
Good.
653
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,913
So, listen, I'm...
654
00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:47,892
I'm sorry I was so hard
on you today, Mo-Mo.
655
00:27:47,893 --> 00:27:49,765
- I just...
- Eh.
656
00:27:49,766 --> 00:27:52,473
I just, uh...
657
00:27:52,474 --> 00:27:53,914
You know, I just want you to be okay.
658
00:27:53,915 --> 00:27:55,724
Yeah, I know.
659
00:27:55,725 --> 00:27:56,682
I know.
660
00:27:58,016 --> 00:27:59,390
Hey, Dawny, you ready?
661
00:27:59,391 --> 00:28:00,945
Hey!
662
00:28:00,946 --> 00:28:02,807
My man! Maurice!
663
00:28:02,808 --> 00:28:04,557
- Eh, Spencer.
- Hey.
664
00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:06,173
How's the brain biz, bro?
665
00:28:06,174 --> 00:28:08,973
- Oh, you know, it's boring.
- Yeah, I can imagine.
666
00:28:08,974 --> 00:28:10,750
No, that's a neurosurgery joke...
667
00:28:10,751 --> 00:28:13,015
Because we're always boring
into people's skulls.
668
00:28:13,016 --> 00:28:14,973
- Oh, amazing!
- Yeah.
669
00:28:14,974 --> 00:28:16,223
But speaking of jokes,
670
00:28:16,224 --> 00:28:17,432
you guys are gonna love it tonight
671
00:28:17,433 --> 00:28:19,363
because I got Piscopo MC'ing.
672
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:21,265
Yeah, he does an amazing me.
673
00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:22,599
Sounds like it could
be kind of racist...
674
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,557
And it-it is very racist...
But it's funny racist.
675
00:28:25,558 --> 00:28:27,181
- "Funny racist"? Okay, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
676
00:28:27,182 --> 00:28:28,809
- It's the good kind.
- You know, I remember
677
00:28:28,810 --> 00:28:31,223
when your birthday used to
be just sticking a candle
678
00:28:31,224 --> 00:28:32,918
in some apple pie at Church's Chicken.
679
00:28:32,919 --> 00:28:34,879
Yeah, well, fuck those days, huh?
680
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,015
- Aw. Okay, well, uh...
- Anyway, if you don't mind, though,
681
00:28:38,016 --> 00:28:39,644
- I got to get out of here...
- Yeah.
682
00:28:39,645 --> 00:28:41,339
...because I got a Dawn I
have to get to myself.
683
00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:43,200
You may have heard of
her... Rae Dawn Chong.
684
00:28:43,201 --> 00:28:44,263
That's right.
685
00:28:44,264 --> 00:28:46,165
I'm gonna show her the
real color purple.
686
00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:49,465
My co... It's a dick
joke. The top of it.
687
00:28:49,466 --> 00:28:52,181
When it gets engorged, it
turns purple, like aubergine.
688
00:28:52,182 --> 00:28:53,902
See you at the party!
689
00:28:53,903 --> 00:28:55,223
All right.
690
00:29:04,721 --> 00:29:06,428
Aw.
691
00:29:08,091 --> 00:29:10,113
What's the problem?
692
00:29:10,801 --> 00:29:12,390
Your little algorithm
doesn't work so well
693
00:29:12,391 --> 00:29:13,960
against real traders, huh?
694
00:29:14,849 --> 00:29:19,128
Pro tip, kid... computers
don't make trades, okay?
695
00:29:19,129 --> 00:29:20,223
Men do.
696
00:29:20,224 --> 00:29:22,214
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
697
00:29:22,215 --> 00:29:24,596
- Dick.
- Wait a minute. Hold up.
698
00:29:25,516 --> 00:29:28,056
So what was the plan? You were gonna...
699
00:29:28,057 --> 00:29:30,199
land a big, juicy job, then you're gonna
700
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,974
run over there and propose to her?
701
00:29:33,808 --> 00:29:34,808
Yeah.
702
00:29:35,954 --> 00:29:37,057
Yeah.
703
00:29:38,774 --> 00:29:40,141
I get that.
704
00:29:41,849 --> 00:29:44,349
Look, you got to do it.
705
00:29:45,266 --> 00:29:48,056
You just got to fucking do
it. If you don't do this,
706
00:29:48,057 --> 00:29:49,890
you're gonna regret it for
the rest of your life.
707
00:29:49,891 --> 00:29:51,134
You're gonna lose her forever.
708
00:29:51,135 --> 00:29:52,640
- No, I already lost her.
- No.
709
00:29:52,641 --> 00:29:54,993
She's not gonna marry some...
710
00:29:55,516 --> 00:29:57,045
jobless...
711
00:29:58,571 --> 00:29:59,570
loser.
712
00:29:59,571 --> 00:30:00,922
- I'm a loser.
- You're not...
713
00:30:00,923 --> 00:30:03,945
Look, just go fucking
propose already, okay?
714
00:30:03,946 --> 00:30:05,477
I'll see you in the morning.
715
00:30:05,932 --> 00:30:07,390
Wait. Wait, really?
716
00:30:07,391 --> 00:30:08,750
Yes.
717
00:30:08,751 --> 00:30:09,922
With the Honda.
718
00:30:09,923 --> 00:30:11,664
I will see you in the
morning with the Honda.
719
00:30:11,665 --> 00:30:13,724
- Oh...
- A bet is a bet.
720
00:30:13,725 --> 00:30:15,548
Come on. I'm just messing around.
721
00:30:15,549 --> 00:30:17,432
You didn't do so bad today.
722
00:30:18,321 --> 00:30:22,672
I lost you $49,999.16.
723
00:30:22,673 --> 00:30:26,468
W-what is that? That's
like two robot butlers.
724
00:30:26,469 --> 00:30:28,336
- Uh, sure.
- You know, nobody's yelled
725
00:30:28,337 --> 00:30:30,307
at me like that since 1973?
726
00:30:30,308 --> 00:30:32,664
You got some balls behind those pleats.
727
00:30:32,665 --> 00:30:36,334
So what do you say, Mr. MBA?
728
00:30:36,907 --> 00:30:38,362
You want to fuck with me?
729
00:30:39,565 --> 00:30:41,580
Or are you too good for
my little "chop shop"?
730
00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:44,549
I would love to fuck with you.
731
00:30:44,550 --> 00:30:46,724
- Yes. Yes. Yes, thank you.
- Okay.
732
00:30:46,725 --> 00:30:48,219
- Thank you so...
- Oh! No touching.
733
00:30:48,220 --> 00:30:49,473
- I'm sorry.
- No touching.
734
00:30:49,474 --> 00:30:50,695
I'm sorry about that.
735
00:30:50,696 --> 00:30:52,961
But I got something else,
and you need to hear this.
736
00:30:52,962 --> 00:30:55,056
- This is critical.
- Yes.
737
00:30:55,057 --> 00:30:56,759
I'm gonna need that Honda.
738
00:31:00,461 --> 00:31:01,617
You said you were kidding.
739
00:31:01,618 --> 00:31:03,348
No, I was kidding when I
said I didn't need it.
740
00:31:03,349 --> 00:31:06,126
Give me the fucking Honda. I'm
gonna use it as a toilet.
741
00:31:06,127 --> 00:31:08,724
And next time I'm coming
for that dope-ass tie pin.
742
00:31:08,725 --> 00:31:10,640
Oh, no, no, no, I'd never bet this.
743
00:31:10,641 --> 00:31:13,453
Get the fuck out of here.
Everything's got a price.
744
00:31:13,454 --> 00:31:15,625
- You watching the World Series?
- Yeah.
745
00:31:15,626 --> 00:31:19,181
Don't bet on the Red Sox, Al.
746
00:31:19,182 --> 00:31:20,547
- I shortened "algorithm."
- Huh.
747
00:31:37,915 --> 00:31:40,848
Oh, shit! I did not think
he was gonna show up.
748
00:31:45,368 --> 00:31:47,008
You ready, boss?
749
00:31:48,974 --> 00:31:50,187
Boss?
750
00:31:52,433 --> 00:31:54,101
Uh... you know, let's just go home.
751
00:31:54,102 --> 00:31:55,344
I'm... I'm beat.
752
00:31:57,808 --> 00:32:00,599
You got it, Mo.
753
00:33:01,570 --> 00:33:06,015
_
754
00:33:59,113 --> 00:34:03,399
_
755
00:34:03,644 --> 00:34:06,196
_
756
00:34:06,197 --> 00:34:12,197
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
55199
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