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www.addic7ed.com
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Wow.
4
00:00:39,328 --> 00:00:40,500
Fuck.
5
00:00:46,988 --> 00:00:48,472
♪ Muggy nights ♪
6
00:00:48,556 --> 00:00:50,308
♪ The curtains drawn ♪
7
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♪ In the little room downstairs ♪
8
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♪ Prima... prima donna, Lord ♪
9
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♪ You really should've been there ♪
10
00:01:01,035 --> 00:01:03,721
♪ Sittin' like a princess perched ♪
11
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♪ In her electric chair ♪
12
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♪ And it's one more beer ♪
13
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♪ And I don't hear you ♪
14
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♪ Anymore ♪
15
00:01:16,491 --> 00:01:20,204
♪ We've all gone crazy lately ♪
16
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♪ My friends out there ♪
17
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♪ Rollin' round the basement floor ♪
18
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♪ Ooh ♪
19
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♪ Oo... ♪
20
00:01:29,898 --> 00:01:32,467
♪ Ooh ♪
21
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♪ Someone saved my life tonight ♪
22
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♪ Sugar bear ♪
23
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♪ Almost had your hooks in me ♪
24
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♪ Didn't you, dear? ♪
25
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♪ You nearly ♪
26
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:53,004
♪ Had me roped and tied ♪
27
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♪ Altar-bound, hypnotized ♪
28
00:01:56,757 --> 00:02:00,511
♪ Sweet freedom whispered in my ear ♪
29
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♪ You're a ♪
30
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:04,433
♪ Butterfly ♪
31
00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:09,519
♪ And butterflies are free to fly ♪
32
00:02:09,603 --> 00:02:12,107
♪ Fly away ♪
33
00:02:13,441 --> 00:02:15,720
♪ High away ♪
34
00:02:16,324 --> 00:02:17,541
♪ Ah... ♪
35
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,930
♪ Bye... ♪
36
00:02:20,114 --> 00:02:22,867
♪ Bye... bye. ♪
37
00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:33,769
Here we go.
38
00:02:58,996 --> 00:03:01,649
I'm getting the worst hands.
39
00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:04,553
- Me too.
- Uh-oh. Don't say those words.
40
00:03:04,637 --> 00:03:06,888
The PC police might show up
and arrest me
41
00:03:06,972 --> 00:03:10,458
for playing cards alone
with you three gorgeous women.
42
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:15,059
I think all this Me Too stuff is good.
43
00:03:15,143 --> 00:03:17,465
Seeing all those horrible men
being taken down.
44
00:03:17,549 --> 00:03:20,234
Lord knows I wish
my Daddy would be around
45
00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:21,703
to get his reckoning.
46
00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:23,471
Oh, things used to be so different.
47
00:03:23,555 --> 00:03:27,026
I'd probably be in prison
for ten life sentences.
48
00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:31,278
Kidding. Just kidding.
49
00:03:31,362 --> 00:03:33,681
Can't even joke anymore?
50
00:03:33,765 --> 00:03:36,116
Whenever a man would pinch my behind,
51
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,353
I took it as a compliment.
52
00:03:38,437 --> 00:03:41,121
And I would pinch him right back.
53
00:03:43,275 --> 00:03:46,661
My sexuality was my greatest asset.
54
00:03:46,745 --> 00:03:49,253
I didn't have higher education.
I couldn't type.
55
00:03:49,337 --> 00:03:52,299
And yet I got hired
for every job I ever applied to,
56
00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:54,269
and I knew it was because
of the way I looked.
57
00:03:54,353 --> 00:03:55,704
- Mm...
- Mm-hmm.
58
00:03:56,689 --> 00:03:58,339
Hi!
59
00:03:58,423 --> 00:04:00,375
- Hi!
- Hi!
60
00:04:00,459 --> 00:04:01,642
Hmm.
61
00:04:02,297 --> 00:04:03,877
- Mm.
- Mm.
62
00:04:03,961 --> 00:04:05,512
Phil?
63
00:04:05,596 --> 00:04:08,115
- What?
- Phil, it's today.
64
00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:09,317
- Mm-mmm.
- It's today.
65
00:04:09,401 --> 00:04:11,537
We're not putting it off anymore.
66
00:04:11,621 --> 00:04:13,454
Give me your spit.
67
00:04:13,538 --> 00:04:14,656
What is that?
68
00:04:14,740 --> 00:04:16,613
I think it's a DNA test.
69
00:04:16,697 --> 00:04:17,967
No, I don't want to.
70
00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:21,997
And the advances of my coworkers
were just part of it.
71
00:04:22,081 --> 00:04:23,064
Part of what?
72
00:04:23,148 --> 00:04:24,199
Not your business.
73
00:04:24,283 --> 00:04:25,699
Okay. That's fine.
74
00:04:25,783 --> 00:04:27,334
Let's go. Come on.
75
00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:29,838
Let's just do it today.
You guys don't mind for one sec?
76
00:04:29,922 --> 00:04:31,339
She promised me she would do this.
77
00:04:31,423 --> 00:04:33,475
- Spit in here.
- Stop it!
78
00:04:33,559 --> 00:04:34,875
Spit in here. It'll be fun.
79
00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:36,444
No!
80
00:04:36,528 --> 00:04:38,747
It does not sound fun to me.
81
00:04:38,831 --> 00:04:42,082
I have no interest in some Irish
third cousin I've never heard of
82
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:44,351
tracking me down,
trying to get money out of me.
83
00:04:44,435 --> 00:04:46,887
This is so annoying!
You said you would do this.
84
00:04:46,971 --> 00:04:47,889
I'm not going to do it.
85
00:04:47,973 --> 00:04:49,257
- You're gonna do it.
- I'm not going to.
86
00:04:49,341 --> 00:04:50,925
- I'm gonna get you.
- You're not.
87
00:04:51,009 --> 00:04:52,360
- Goddamn it, Phil.
- I am not...
88
00:04:52,444 --> 00:04:54,428
Phil, stay!
89
00:04:54,512 --> 00:04:55,764
- No!
- Phil,
90
00:04:55,848 --> 00:04:58,233
- stop it!
- I'm not going to do it!
91
00:04:58,317 --> 00:05:00,468
Phil, you want me to chase you?
92
00:05:00,552 --> 00:05:01,502
I will chase you.
93
00:05:01,586 --> 00:05:02,504
- You'll never catch me.
- We're not...
94
00:05:02,588 --> 00:05:03,570
Phyllis!
95
00:05:03,654 --> 00:05:04,939
You w... Phil, you...
96
00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:06,173
- Mom!
- No!
97
00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:07,709
- Phyllis!
- What?!
98
00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:10,411
This is silly.
99
00:05:10,495 --> 00:05:12,279
You are such a child.
100
00:05:12,363 --> 00:05:14,281
- Phil! Goddamn it!
- I'm not going to. No!
101
00:05:14,365 --> 00:05:16,050
- I'm not going. No.
- Fine.
102
00:05:16,134 --> 00:05:17,552
I'm not letting you through.
103
00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:18,920
No. Mom.
104
00:05:19,004 --> 00:05:20,921
I'm taking you down.
105
00:05:21,005 --> 00:05:23,692
- Mom, give me your spit!
- Ow!
106
00:05:23,776 --> 00:05:24,658
- Stop.
- What?
107
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,528
Okay. Spit!
108
00:05:26,612 --> 00:05:27,594
Ooh.
109
00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:29,129
Not just one spit.
110
00:05:29,213 --> 00:05:30,398
You got to fill the whole vial.
111
00:05:33,951 --> 00:05:35,870
Jesus, I may puke.
112
00:05:35,954 --> 00:05:37,137
I may puke.
113
00:05:37,221 --> 00:05:38,406
Just do it.
114
00:05:46,949 --> 00:05:49,584
There! Go away! For God's sake.
115
00:05:49,668 --> 00:05:51,252
Jesus.
116
00:05:51,336 --> 00:05:53,855
I'd better be Samoan or something cool,
117
00:05:53,939 --> 00:05:55,389
worth doing this for.
118
00:05:55,473 --> 00:05:56,591
Bye!
119
00:05:56,675 --> 00:05:57,623
- Bye.
- Bye.
120
00:05:57,707 --> 00:06:01,629
Hey, Sam. What do you call
Jewish girls who won't give blow jobs?
121
00:06:01,713 --> 00:06:02,964
Married. Ha!
122
00:06:03,048 --> 00:06:05,266
Good one, Hal!
123
00:06:05,350 --> 00:06:07,836
See? She doesn't mind.
124
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,937
Oh, my God.
125
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,439
You're a dirty old man.
126
00:06:11,523 --> 00:06:13,440
- Eh.
- I like it.
127
00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:21,682
After seeing three other doctors,
128
00:06:21,766 --> 00:06:23,584
only Dr. Ballinger
129
00:06:23,668 --> 00:06:26,454
was able to make me pain-free again.
130
00:06:26,538 --> 00:06:29,324
Dr. Ballinger is a miracle worker.
131
00:06:33,211 --> 00:06:35,714
Thank you.
132
00:06:44,956 --> 00:06:46,975
What are you in for?
133
00:06:47,059 --> 00:06:50,178
Eh, wear and tear.
134
00:06:50,787 --> 00:06:52,514
I don't got a good story.
135
00:06:52,598 --> 00:06:53,848
Same.
136
00:06:53,932 --> 00:06:56,483
When did your hands start to go bad?
137
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:58,218
When I was about, uh,
138
00:06:58,302 --> 00:06:59,843
78, 79.
139
00:06:59,927 --> 00:07:01,740
Not too long ago.
140
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:06,026
So, wh-what should we do?
141
00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:08,195
Oh, man. I'm-I'm...
142
00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,464
I think I'm a little emotional.
143
00:07:10,548 --> 00:07:13,701
It took me six months to get
this appointment.
144
00:07:13,785 --> 00:07:15,303
Why'd you wait so long?
145
00:07:15,387 --> 00:07:16,896
Because you...
146
00:07:17,656 --> 00:07:21,074
Anyway, I'm here now, so...
147
00:07:21,158 --> 00:07:23,011
I will do whatever it takes.
148
00:07:23,095 --> 00:07:24,846
I know you're the miracle worker.
149
00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:26,413
Whatever you want to do...
150
00:07:26,497 --> 00:07:27,949
P.T., O.T.,
151
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:29,384
supplements, steroids.
152
00:07:29,468 --> 00:07:31,386
Well,
153
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:34,689
this side is mild to moderate,
154
00:07:34,773 --> 00:07:38,125
and this is moderate to severe.
155
00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:40,762
Mm.
156
00:07:40,846 --> 00:07:44,870
Your hands are much older than you are.
157
00:07:45,316 --> 00:07:46,533
Oh.
158
00:07:46,617 --> 00:07:49,654
- May I touch you?
- Yeah.
159
00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:51,605
This hurt?
160
00:07:51,689 --> 00:07:53,074
Ow. Yeah.
161
00:07:53,158 --> 00:07:54,942
Mm.
162
00:07:55,026 --> 00:07:56,377
How about this?
163
00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:59,298
Yeah.
164
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,965
Mm-hmm. Yup.
165
00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:05,770
Your muscles have atrophied.
166
00:08:06,943 --> 00:08:10,524
Jesus. Well, what about
physical therapy?
167
00:08:10,608 --> 00:08:12,727
Won't help. Listen, I'm a surgeon.
168
00:08:12,811 --> 00:08:14,795
I would love to go in there and cut,
169
00:08:14,879 --> 00:08:17,598
but your hand could wind up like this.
170
00:08:17,682 --> 00:08:19,400
Well, what about
all the patient testimonials
171
00:08:19,484 --> 00:08:21,037
in the waiting room?
172
00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:23,905
How am I supposed to function
without opposable thumbs?
173
00:08:23,989 --> 00:08:26,273
I'm sorry, Sam.
The technology just isn't here
174
00:08:26,357 --> 00:08:28,053
for what you've got, yet.
175
00:08:28,137 --> 00:08:30,244
You are a lot younger than your hands.
176
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,946
Jesus.
177
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:36,818
That's the first time in forever
anyone ever said I was young.
178
00:08:37,319 --> 00:08:39,587
This blows dead donkey dicks.
179
00:08:39,671 --> 00:08:41,421
Well, you don't need hands for that.
180
00:08:44,076 --> 00:08:45,485
It's true.
181
00:08:50,182 --> 00:08:51,431
Yello?
182
00:08:51,515 --> 00:08:53,300
Sam, quick thought.
183
00:08:53,384 --> 00:08:55,936
I spoke with my producers,
and we want to move you up.
184
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:58,106
Oh, wow. Really?
185
00:08:58,190 --> 00:09:00,808
Yeah, you know, I can't
stop thinking about you, and then
186
00:09:00,892 --> 00:09:03,478
I started thinking about me.
I just got tired of being
187
00:09:03,562 --> 00:09:05,012
some gun for hire, you know?
188
00:09:05,096 --> 00:09:08,849
I mean, fuck, I'm gonna be
30 in, like, five minutes.
189
00:09:08,933 --> 00:09:10,122
Yeah.
190
00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:11,920
You need to prepare yourself, Sam.
191
00:09:12,004 --> 00:09:14,756
You're gonna wake up and be 50,
and then what are you gonna do?
192
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,156
Well,
193
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,661
I hadn't actually thought about that.
194
00:09:19,745 --> 00:09:22,597
I mean, you need to have
something of your own, right?
195
00:09:22,681 --> 00:09:24,598
Because if we don't come up with it,
196
00:09:24,682 --> 00:09:26,600
then nobody else is gonna goddamn do it.
197
00:09:26,684 --> 00:09:27,968
Yeah.
198
00:09:28,052 --> 00:09:29,603
Fuck, yeah.
199
00:09:29,687 --> 00:09:31,138
And I'm aware of the irony here,
200
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:32,977
that technically you're my hired gun.
201
00:09:33,061 --> 00:09:33,840
That's okay.
202
00:09:33,924 --> 00:09:35,376
I'm okay with irony.
203
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,279
But I really want you
to make this your own thing.
204
00:09:38,363 --> 00:09:39,997
I think you are brilliant,
205
00:09:40,081 --> 00:09:41,983
and I want that Sam Fox brilliant brain
206
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:44,051
splattered all over my show.
207
00:09:44,135 --> 00:09:47,031
Wow. That is cool.
208
00:09:47,115 --> 00:09:48,656
Hey, can you say that shit
209
00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:51,325
about how brilliant
you think I am to my daughters?
210
00:09:51,409 --> 00:09:53,828
See? Fucking hilarious!
211
00:09:53,912 --> 00:09:55,552
I am so excited.
212
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,732
I discovered you.
I want everybody to know
213
00:09:57,816 --> 00:09:59,334
that you never existed
before this moment.
214
00:09:59,418 --> 00:10:00,734
It's gonna be amazing.
215
00:10:00,818 --> 00:10:02,670
Think of some ideas,
and then we'll chat.
216
00:10:02,754 --> 00:10:06,158
I cannot even begin to tell you
how excited I am about this.
217
00:10:38,823 --> 00:10:39,994
Whoa.
218
00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:44,191
O... kay.
219
00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:48,578
Okay, boy. Okay, boy.
220
00:10:49,445 --> 00:10:51,113
Okay, boy.
221
00:10:52,957 --> 00:10:55,351
Get somebody to...
222
00:10:56,836 --> 00:10:59,222
Is it gone?
223
00:10:59,306 --> 00:11:01,757
- Nope.
- Why isn't it leaving?
224
00:11:01,841 --> 00:11:04,678
It's probably just scared.
225
00:11:06,812 --> 00:11:09,832
Maybe it got a letter
from Hogwarts. Heh!
226
00:11:09,916 --> 00:11:12,934
Mom, this is serious.
An owl in the house is bad luck.
227
00:11:13,018 --> 00:11:15,505
Don't say that!
228
00:11:15,589 --> 00:11:18,274
So, owls have traditionally been
seen as a harbinger of death,
229
00:11:18,358 --> 00:11:21,777
but they can also be a sign
of change and fertility.
230
00:11:21,861 --> 00:11:23,496
So which is it?
231
00:11:24,764 --> 00:11:26,482
We should take the snake out.
232
00:11:26,566 --> 00:11:29,357
- Owls eat snakes, shit licker.
- Not baby ones.
233
00:11:29,441 --> 00:11:30,386
Oh, so you want
234
00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:32,288
- to murder a baby owl?
- Nuh-uh.
235
00:11:32,372 --> 00:11:33,689
That ain't no baby owl.
236
00:11:33,773 --> 00:11:35,525
No, I just want to s... scare it off.
237
00:11:35,609 --> 00:11:37,160
You want me to go get my dad?
238
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:39,695
I'm gonna go get my dad.
239
00:11:51,892 --> 00:11:54,729
Did she just go in there?
240
00:11:57,432 --> 00:11:58,665
Uh...
241
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,618
Why do you have "penis" on the wall?
242
00:12:03,702 --> 00:12:06,039
We have a lot of penises on the wall.
243
00:12:08,407 --> 00:12:10,425
We should really...
244
00:12:10,509 --> 00:12:12,728
take the penises off the wall.
245
00:12:12,812 --> 00:12:15,131
It's not good with company, you know?
246
00:12:15,215 --> 00:12:18,134
Hi. I'm Duke.
247
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,347
I promise I'll be careful
248
00:12:32,431 --> 00:12:36,285
if you promise not to peck my eyes out.
249
00:12:50,115 --> 00:12:53,169
Take the penises off the wall.
250
00:12:56,223 --> 00:12:57,472
Oh!
251
00:12:59,725 --> 00:13:02,477
- Wow.
- Whoa.
252
00:13:02,561 --> 00:13:03,979
Cool.
253
00:13:04,063 --> 00:13:06,314
Gosh, look at its little beak.
254
00:13:06,398 --> 00:13:08,517
Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah.
255
00:13:08,601 --> 00:13:10,218
- What?
- You don't touch it.
256
00:13:10,302 --> 00:13:12,621
With the finger oil,
his mother may kill him
257
00:13:12,705 --> 00:13:14,656
or not come back or something.
258
00:13:14,740 --> 00:13:16,159
Actually, Mom, that's a myth.
259
00:13:16,243 --> 00:13:18,394
You just want to be careful,
you don't want to hurt it.
260
00:13:18,478 --> 00:13:19,895
Mm.
261
00:13:23,749 --> 00:13:26,501
Oh, my God.
262
00:13:26,585 --> 00:13:28,703
Be careful. So soft.
263
00:13:30,624 --> 00:13:32,275
All right, little guy,
264
00:13:32,359 --> 00:13:35,511
we got to get you back where you belong.
265
00:13:35,595 --> 00:13:38,246
Okay, I got to, like, call...
266
00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:40,564
Animal Control or something.
267
00:13:40,648 --> 00:13:41,517
We should name it first.
268
00:13:41,601 --> 00:13:44,420
- What should we name it?
- What's his name? Edwin.
269
00:13:44,504 --> 00:13:45,822
- Edwin.
- Oh, my God. It's perfect.
270
00:13:45,906 --> 00:13:47,924
Edwin. Oh, my God.
271
00:13:48,008 --> 00:13:50,226
Edwin, oh, my God. Edwin, Edwin, Edwin.
272
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:52,562
- The softest thing in the world.
- Okay, let's get him
273
00:13:52,646 --> 00:13:53,996
- to... because...
- Be careful. Be careful.
274
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,397
- Be careful. Be careful.
- I got it.
275
00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:57,181
- Oh, my God.
- You're like his mommy.
276
00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:58,385
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
277
00:14:01,454 --> 00:14:02,737
Hi, José.
278
00:14:02,821 --> 00:14:04,406
Hey. Hi, Sam.
279
00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:05,775
Hi.
280
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:07,776
Everything okay?
281
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:09,846
Uh, yeah, yeah.
282
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,147
The pets are fine.
283
00:14:11,231 --> 00:14:13,281
It's just that I had them
take away the girls.
284
00:14:13,365 --> 00:14:14,684
Couldn't housebreak 'em.
285
00:14:15,905 --> 00:14:17,886
- Uh, Reinita's behaving herself?
- Oh, yeah.
286
00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:19,554
She's the best. I'm keeping her.
287
00:14:19,638 --> 00:14:21,958
Ah. She made a list
for me the other day.
288
00:14:22,042 --> 00:14:25,594
All the colleges she wants
to go to... all out of state.
289
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:27,630
- Whoa.
- And she said, "Papi, if I get
290
00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:29,611
into these schools,
can you help pay for them?"
291
00:14:29,695 --> 00:14:30,651
What can I say to that?
292
00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:31,934
I want to give her everything, you know?
293
00:14:32,018 --> 00:14:33,736
Yeah, she's a really great kid.
294
00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:36,271
Yeah. Between that
and her quinceañera next month,
295
00:14:36,355 --> 00:14:39,239
my wife thinks we should move
to Phoenix to save money.
296
00:14:39,323 --> 00:14:41,343
- Really?
- Yeah. What am I supposed to do for work?
297
00:14:41,427 --> 00:14:43,198
Nothing grows there.
298
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:46,773
You know, maybe we should team up.
299
00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:48,583
What do you mean?
300
00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:51,020
Frankie was talking
about doing one of those...
301
00:14:51,104 --> 00:14:52,954
- A quinceañera?
- Yeah.
302
00:14:53,038 --> 00:14:54,423
But a-aren't you guys Jewish?
303
00:14:54,507 --> 00:14:56,259
- Mm.
- I mean, even though I do
304
00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:57,894
bring you a Christmas tree
every Hanukkah.
305
00:14:57,978 --> 00:14:59,628
Yeah. Heh!
306
00:14:59,712 --> 00:15:02,899
No, I mean, is that weird? Is that bad?
307
00:15:02,983 --> 00:15:06,135
They're a lot of fun. She should.
308
00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:08,103
Hey, have you seen your new trees?
309
00:15:08,187 --> 00:15:10,972
Grapefruit, Meyer lemon and kumquat.
310
00:15:11,056 --> 00:15:12,909
- You like the pots?
- They're so gorgeous!
311
00:15:12,993 --> 00:15:15,521
- Yeah?
- Thank you, José. I love it.
312
00:15:15,605 --> 00:15:16,846
- Of course.
- José?
313
00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:18,146
I'm so glad you haven't left.
314
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:20,116
- Oh, hi.
- It seems
315
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,174
you've pruned the wrong branches
on my plum tree.
316
00:15:23,258 --> 00:15:24,401
- ¿Qué?
- Mm?
317
00:15:24,485 --> 00:15:26,255
- I'm pretty sure I didn't.
- Afraid you did.
318
00:15:26,339 --> 00:15:27,689
Okay. I'll go check it out then.
319
00:15:27,773 --> 00:15:29,125
- No, no, no, no.
- What?
320
00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:30,226
- What are you doing?
- What?
321
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:31,626
- It's not your day.
- I know that,
322
00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:34,030
but he likes my latkes.
Come along, José.
323
00:15:34,114 --> 00:15:35,964
- No.
- She made it a little weird.
324
00:15:36,048 --> 00:15:38,224
Oh, my God!
325
00:15:38,308 --> 00:15:39,834
That's so rude.
326
00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:41,636
- Sam, I got it.
- He won't be long.
327
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,005
- Ugh.
- I'm coming, Phil.
328
00:15:43,089 --> 00:15:44,173
- Phil!
- Good, good.
329
00:15:44,257 --> 00:15:46,641
- Be nice!
- I will!
330
00:15:49,061 --> 00:15:50,683
Is this the Meyer lemon?
331
00:15:50,768 --> 00:15:53,305
Oh, I love it.
332
00:15:55,853 --> 00:15:58,707
Mom! Mom!
333
00:15:59,264 --> 00:16:02,316
Mom, can Pepper start the El Camino?
334
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,785
Just-just start it.
335
00:16:03,869 --> 00:16:06,286
Oh, God. Geez!
336
00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:08,122
Say yes, Sam!
337
00:16:08,206 --> 00:16:09,456
Oh, God.
338
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:10,959
Just don't tell your mom!
339
00:16:11,043 --> 00:16:13,493
- Oh, my God!
- I know!
340
00:16:15,346 --> 00:16:16,948
Go, go!
341
00:16:18,984 --> 00:16:20,501
Your chariot, miss.
342
00:16:20,585 --> 00:16:23,623
Oh, thank you kindly.
343
00:16:40,138 --> 00:16:42,422
What happened? What happened?
344
00:16:42,506 --> 00:16:44,459
What happened?
345
00:16:44,543 --> 00:16:45,860
Oh, okay.
346
00:16:45,944 --> 00:16:47,828
Let me see. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
347
00:16:47,912 --> 00:16:49,831
Raise your hand in the air.
348
00:16:49,915 --> 00:16:52,199
I got you. I got you. It's okay.
349
00:16:52,283 --> 00:16:55,103
Okay. It's okay, sweetie. It's okay.
350
00:16:55,187 --> 00:16:56,403
Let me just wrap it up.
351
00:16:56,487 --> 00:16:58,538
What is wrong with you?!
352
00:16:58,622 --> 00:17:00,007
I'm sorry, I can't help it.
353
00:17:00,091 --> 00:17:01,709
Get a towel!
354
00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:03,443
- Is it bad?
- It's okay, baby. No.
355
00:17:03,527 --> 00:17:05,113
- Honey, honey, just calm down.
- Ow! Ow!
356
00:17:05,197 --> 00:17:07,815
Lay your head back.
Lay your head back. Yeah.
357
00:17:07,899 --> 00:17:09,484
You just cut it a little bit, sweetie.
358
00:17:09,568 --> 00:17:11,084
Yes. It's okay.
359
00:17:11,168 --> 00:17:13,421
- It's okay.
- Mom, is it "qualm with"
360
00:17:13,505 --> 00:17:15,590
or "qualm about"? Mom!
361
00:17:15,674 --> 00:17:19,093
Frankie, call Pepper's mom!
362
00:17:19,177 --> 00:17:22,363
- It's okay, honey.
- Mom, Chewy's got something.
363
00:17:22,447 --> 00:17:24,231
Chewy, release!
364
00:17:24,315 --> 00:17:26,034
What is that? Come here, come here.
365
00:17:26,118 --> 00:17:27,934
Duke, Duke, where are the keys?
366
00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:30,004
- Duke, where are the keys?!
- I don't know.
367
00:17:30,088 --> 00:17:31,471
Looks like a worm or something.
368
00:17:31,555 --> 00:17:33,807
- Duke.
- Pepper has them.
369
00:17:33,891 --> 00:17:35,509
- Okay. Okay.
- He swallowed it.
370
00:17:35,593 --> 00:17:37,277
Oh. Oh, God.
371
00:17:37,361 --> 00:17:38,845
Oh, shit.
372
00:17:38,929 --> 00:17:39,881
Oh, Jesus.
373
00:17:39,965 --> 00:17:41,349
It's okay. That's fine.
374
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,217
That's fine. No, no, no, no, no.
375
00:17:43,301 --> 00:17:45,053
Don't look at that.
Don't look at... Pepper?
376
00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:46,453
Pepper! Okay.
377
00:17:46,537 --> 00:17:48,039
Frankie!
378
00:17:49,073 --> 00:17:50,924
Good boy. What a good poop.
379
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:52,392
Yes, a good poop.
380
00:17:52,476 --> 00:17:53,894
Good boy. Who made a good poop?
381
00:17:53,978 --> 00:17:55,962
- Mom, where's my black dress?
- What?
382
00:17:56,046 --> 00:17:58,132
- Like, with the neck.
- Check your closet.
383
00:17:58,216 --> 00:18:00,200
No, it's not there,
and I have to go to work.
384
00:18:00,284 --> 00:18:01,936
Well, I'm sorry. I'm kind of busy
385
00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:04,471
'cause I have to sift through
Chewy's shit right now,
386
00:18:04,555 --> 00:18:05,739
so maybe you can look yourself?
387
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,975
- Ew, Mom. That's disgusting.
- Yeah,
388
00:18:08,059 --> 00:18:09,527
and she's probably gonna
have to put him down, too.
389
00:18:09,611 --> 00:18:10,228
What?!
390
00:18:10,312 --> 00:18:12,113
- Frankie!
- He tasted human flesh.
391
00:18:12,197 --> 00:18:13,381
Mom, you can't kill Chewy.
392
00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:14,582
- Nobody's killing Chewy.
- Mom,
393
00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:16,918
- I'm gonna be late.
- So wear something else.
394
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:19,420
I can't wear something else
'cause I have my period.
395
00:18:19,504 --> 00:18:21,522
Max, can you just check the laundry room
396
00:18:21,606 --> 00:18:23,423
because, I'm sorry, full disclosure,
397
00:18:23,507 --> 00:18:25,459
I forgot to put the load in last night.
398
00:18:25,543 --> 00:18:27,461
- Sorry.
- Mom, the laundry?
399
00:18:27,545 --> 00:18:29,596
And, Duke, no one's killing anyone.
400
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,632
- Promise?
- Yes, I promise.
401
00:18:31,716 --> 00:18:33,869
Chewy's gonna be around for a long time.
402
00:18:33,953 --> 00:18:36,470
Unless that coyote comes back, you know.
403
00:18:36,554 --> 00:18:37,838
You know, Mom, if you don't
404
00:18:37,922 --> 00:18:39,407
do the laundry and we think you are,
405
00:18:39,491 --> 00:18:41,007
it's kind of messed up.
406
00:18:41,091 --> 00:18:42,227
I was counting on that to be clean.
407
00:18:43,261 --> 00:18:44,778
So sorry.
408
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,647
Oh, my God.
409
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:49,287
I didn't check the laundry.
410
00:18:54,606 --> 00:18:56,123
Mom, get out.
411
00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:58,692
Oh, my God. Nothing fits.
I'm so bloated.
412
00:18:58,776 --> 00:19:01,461
I'm sorry that you feel bad,
413
00:19:01,545 --> 00:19:04,465
but you have to learn
to rein this shit in, okay?
414
00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:08,135
I never took my period out
on anybody the way that you do.
415
00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:09,469
Oh, mm, sorry, Mom.
416
00:19:09,553 --> 00:19:11,037
Maybe I should just go, like,
lay down in my trailer,
417
00:19:11,121 --> 00:19:12,640
- right?
- What?
418
00:19:12,724 --> 00:19:14,307
This is actual work,
419
00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:16,177
Mom. I have to be on my feet all night.
420
00:19:16,261 --> 00:19:17,444
It's not like some movie set.
421
00:19:17,528 --> 00:19:19,913
Max, I know you're a little stressed out
422
00:19:19,997 --> 00:19:22,549
and this is your first job,
but that doesn't mean
423
00:19:22,633 --> 00:19:25,420
you get to be super shitty to me
whenever you want.
424
00:19:25,504 --> 00:19:28,201
Mom, I'm not being super shitty.
You're so dramatic.
425
00:19:28,285 --> 00:19:30,309
I can't believe I still have
to put up with this bullshit.
426
00:19:31,376 --> 00:19:33,736
You realize
you live here rent-free, right?
427
00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:35,997
- You do realize that?
- Oh, you want me to go?
428
00:19:36,081 --> 00:19:38,665
- I'll go. I am fucking gone.
- Good.
429
00:19:38,749 --> 00:19:39,901
The second I save up some money.
430
00:19:39,985 --> 00:19:41,904
You have a paycheck.
What's stopping you?
431
00:19:41,988 --> 00:19:43,171
You think I won't?
432
00:19:43,255 --> 00:19:44,505
Goodbye. Good.
433
00:19:44,589 --> 00:19:46,643
Your dirty dress is in the laundry room.
434
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,176
My dad said I can live
with him whenever I want.
435
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:50,577
Oh, that old chestnut. Perfect.
436
00:19:50,661 --> 00:19:53,514
- That's great. Go, go. Great.
- Great.
437
00:19:53,598 --> 00:19:57,017
- Great. Great.
- Great. Great.
438
00:19:57,101 --> 00:19:59,760
You know what would be great, Max?
439
00:19:59,844 --> 00:20:01,281
If you helped me.
440
00:20:01,365 --> 00:20:03,987
It would be great if you helped me.
441
00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:06,259
If you cleaned up after yourself,
442
00:20:06,343 --> 00:20:07,561
that would be great.
443
00:20:07,645 --> 00:20:09,857
If you helped me with your sisters,
444
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:11,164
that would be great.
445
00:20:11,248 --> 00:20:12,533
Kids aren't supposed to help their mom.
446
00:20:12,617 --> 00:20:14,401
Their mom is supposed to help them.
447
00:20:14,485 --> 00:20:16,703
Oh, is that the law? I didn't realize
448
00:20:16,787 --> 00:20:19,172
that I was breaking,
like, the mommy law.
449
00:20:19,256 --> 00:20:21,374
Yeah. And great job
you're doing, by the way, Mom.
450
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:23,577
You know, Frankie basically does
whatever the fuck she wants,
451
00:20:23,661 --> 00:20:26,514
and I-I'm probably gonna
be fired now, so...
452
00:20:26,598 --> 00:20:29,217
Oh, yeah. I'm bad. That's bad.
453
00:20:29,301 --> 00:20:32,819
- I'm a bad mommy.
- No, you're a disaster, Mom.
454
00:20:33,546 --> 00:20:35,590
And you don't always have to be so hard
455
00:20:36,173 --> 00:20:38,410
just 'cause you don't know what
it's like to be a woman anymore.
456
00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:43,115
You cunt.
457
00:20:45,298 --> 00:20:46,601
What?
458
00:20:47,434 --> 00:20:49,135
You're a cunt, Max.
459
00:20:49,578 --> 00:20:51,439
- I'm a cunt?
- Yep.
460
00:20:51,523 --> 00:20:52,931
You're a cunt.
461
00:20:53,818 --> 00:20:54,941
You're a cunt.
462
00:20:55,943 --> 00:20:57,911
No, Max. You're a cunt.
463
00:20:57,995 --> 00:20:59,980
No, you're a cunt, Mom.
464
00:21:00,064 --> 00:21:01,949
No, you're a cunt, Max.
465
00:21:02,033 --> 00:21:03,450
No, you're a fucking cunt, Mom.
466
00:21:03,534 --> 00:21:06,152
- You're a fucking cunt, Max.
- No, you're a fucking cunt, Mom.
467
00:21:06,236 --> 00:21:08,055
You're a fucking cunt, Max.
468
00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:10,490
You're a big fucking cunt, Mom.
469
00:21:10,574 --> 00:21:12,304
You're a big fucking cunt,
470
00:21:12,388 --> 00:21:14,251
your sister's an asshole,
471
00:21:14,335 --> 00:21:16,229
and your other sister's great!
472
00:21:16,313 --> 00:21:18,292
Aw, thanks, Mom!
473
00:21:18,376 --> 00:21:19,584
Love you, Mom!
474
00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:36,275
Oh, my God.
475
00:21:41,378 --> 00:21:42,456
I'm sorry.
476
00:21:42,540 --> 00:21:43,958
No.
477
00:21:44,042 --> 00:21:45,084
I am a cunt.
478
00:21:45,168 --> 00:21:47,077
No. I'm a cunt.
479
00:21:47,879 --> 00:21:49,471
No, you're not.
480
00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:51,231
You're the best.
481
00:21:51,315 --> 00:21:53,042
And I am such a cunt.
482
00:21:53,717 --> 00:21:55,335
Well...
483
00:21:58,958 --> 00:22:01,041
My Uncle Sid called me a cunt.
484
00:22:01,125 --> 00:22:02,142
I was nine.
485
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:04,312
Uncle Sid?
486
00:22:04,396 --> 00:22:05,788
He's dead now.
487
00:22:06,622 --> 00:22:08,582
Fuck you, Uncle Sid.
488
00:22:14,438 --> 00:22:16,356
Aw.
489
00:22:17,068 --> 00:22:18,358
I love you.
490
00:22:18,443 --> 00:22:20,460
And I love you.
491
00:22:20,544 --> 00:22:23,148
I don't want you to move out.
492
00:22:25,532 --> 00:22:26,784
But I do.
493
00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:29,480
So you shouldn't.
494
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,440
But please move out soon.
495
00:22:32,524 --> 00:22:33,832
But don't.
496
00:22:36,474 --> 00:22:37,545
Oh, wow.
497
00:22:37,629 --> 00:22:38,712
What?
498
00:22:39,496 --> 00:22:40,981
I just realized
499
00:22:41,065 --> 00:22:43,183
you're gonna have
to go through this three times.
500
00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:45,186
Oh, Jesus Christ.
500
00:22:46,305 --> 00:22:52,795
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