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Ahem.

Sorry, folks.

Once more around the park.

Can’t be done, sir,

if the young lady’s going to catch that train.

Well, the Grand Central Station then.

And no shortcuts.

All aboard. All aboard.

Say, mister, we got a timetable.

Oh, just one more minute, please.

There’s another train leaves in two hours.

Maybe you better take that.

Weren’t you young once yourself?

Lady, not that young.

All aboard. All aboard.

Goodbye, Lila.

Oh, Freddie, I wish you were coming with me.

I could use a little immoral support.

Just as soon as I close this bank deal,

I’ll fly home, and we’ll be married.

Oh, I hope your mother and I hit it off.

Of course you will, darling. She’s a rare old girl.

That’s what worries me. I do a little rarin’ myself.

Oh, stop worrying. You’ll love it at Mother's.

All aboard!

And this time I mean it.

Goodbye, Lila. Goodbye, Freddie.

I know Mother will be pleased when she sees you.

I hope you realize I’m not marrying your mother.

That’s what you think.

Right this way, my dear.

I wasn’t sure.

Frederick’s descriptions are always so flattering.

Well, I knew it was you

the moment I saw you, Mrs. Leonard.

Well, jump in, my dear.

Thank you.

Good afternoon, Peters.

Put the bag on the floor.

My dear, would you mind blowing those smoke rings

out of the window? I’m allergic to them.

I’m so sorry.

Young man, jay walking is a menace to motorists.

Obey the traffic laws.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk...

Frankly, my dear, after having seen you

I’m not at all sure you’re the kind of girl

Frederick should marry.

You’re much too beautiful.

Brains and character

so seldom go with a lovely face

and you are lovely.

Thank you. But don’t you think you’re judging me

rather hastily, Mrs. Leonard?

Perhaps. We shall see, my dear.

We shall see.

I’m going in here for a minute.

Won’t you come in?

Yes, but it’s Saturday afternoon.

The bank’s closed, isn’t it?

Of course, it’s closed. But it’s my bank, isn't it?

Or Frederick’s, I should say. Come along.

Who’s there? What’s going on here?

It’s only I, Mr. Flannagan.

Oh, you gave me a start, Mrs. Leonard.

I’m glad to see you’re on the job, Mr. Flannigan.

Thank you!

Excuse me.

I always pay all my bills on Saturday...

in cash.

Come along.

It’s really a very nice bank.

We’ve never had a run.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk...

That good of Frederick?

Yes. Who’s the young lady?

Well, that’s the girl he was engaged to last year.

We had this taken when she came to visit me.

Lovely girl.

I wonder why Frederick never heard from her after she left.

Oh, thank you.

This is Miss Thorne, Brewster.

Her baggage is in the car.

Put it in the west bedroom directly across from me.

Very good, madam.

Right this way, my dear.

You’re really a Godsend to me.

My secretary had to visit her mother.

I suppose you do excellent stenographic work.

Well, could I...

I mean I haven’t even got my hat off yet.

Oh, well, take it off, by all means.

Thank you.

Hmm.

I shall have to take this up with Mr. Zambrogio at once.

He’s charged me $2.00 a dress, instead of a $1.75.

Sit down, please.

Take a letter

But, Mrs. Leonard, I don’t type.

How very surprising.

I suppose you write fairly legibly?

Oh, yes. Yes, I have rather a high I.Q.

Come, come, my dear.

I want to get this off immediately.

My dear Mr. Zambrogio,

I have just received your bill,

and I am surprised to note

that you raised your prices 25 cents.

In view of our 19 years association

Just a moment, please. In view of what?

Nineteen years association,

don’t you think this step a bit drastic?

"Don’t you think this step a bit..."

Drastic.

Question mark.

I’m sorry to inform you, Mr. Zambrogio,

but if this continues

I shall be forced to sever our business relationship.

Sincerely, Hattie Leonard.

Where is he?

Well, Mr. Zambrogio?

Good morning, Mrs. Leonard lady.

Nice day.

Sit down.Grazie.

You got my letter of course?

Yes, ma’am, and it make me feel very bad.

I say to my wife Angela for 19 years--

Sit down, please.Grazie.

Isn’t the chair comfortable?

Oh, it’s fine.

I say to my wife Angela, for 19 years

me and Mrs. Leonard, we do business together.

Just for her-- for nobody else--

I make the old price-- $1.75.

Sit down.Grazie.

I don’t like bargains.

What made you raise your prices?

Well, you see, I got more expenses.

Every Wednesday a man, he come and get a $7.00.

He’s from the Protective Association.

Protective Association?

Whatever do they protect you from?

I don’t know.

But Tonelli, he no pay,

and somebody broke his window,

steal the clothes, and beat him up.

So I pay.

I can hardly believe it.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Leonard lady,

it’s the truth.

This association is a very good thing.

Hmm.

Lila, give Mr. Zambrogio $2.00.

Oh, no-- Sit down.

Please, Mrs. Leonard lady--

As long as you continue to belong to this Protective Association

I will pay your increased prices.

Thank you.

When did you say their representative calls?

Every Wednesday, 11:00...

on the dot.

Thank you.

I get up now, yes?

Please, yes.

Thank you. Goodbye, Mrs. Leonard lady.

Goodbye, Mr. Zambrogio.

Lila, my engagement pad.

Zambrogio’s shop. Wednesday, 11:00.

Yes, Mrs. Leonard lady, 11:00...

on the dot.

Lila, wait for me here.

Good morning, Mrs. Zambrogio

Buongiorno, Signora. Vicenzio!

Mrs. Leonard lady,

when you come in my place, it’s a big day.

My goodness, how he’s grown.

I brought him a little present.

Oh, Bello, grazie! Grazie!

Hey, Ravioli.

Got that suit for me?

Come on, this is my busy day.

Excuse me, please.

Is he the gentleman from the association?

Yes, ma’am.

He calls himself Harry the Lug.

Mr. Lug, may I have a word with you?

What about?

Hey, hurry up with that suit,

and give this one a light once over.

You might have the common courtesy

to come out here while I’m addressing you.

Come on, Toots, spill it.

Toots!

Toots!

Hey!

Please, he no like to talk business.

Mr. Lug, from exactly what and whom

are you protecting Mr. Zambrogio?

Ravioli, who is this screwball?

Why don’t you go peddle your fish?

Mrs. Leonard lady, please. He’s a nice a man.

He’s a disreputable, suspicious character.

Now look, I don’t want to have no trouble with you.

Come on, pay up.

I forbid you to pay him one solitary cent.

I like to pay. It’s all right.

Don’t you dare, Mr. Zambrogio.

You’re wasting my time.

That’s stealing. Take your hand out of there!

Lady, you’re gonna make it awful tough for him.

You’re a thief.

An undesirable citizen like you ought to be in jail.

Yeah, and an old hen like you

ought be home layin’ an egg.

Mr. Zambrogio, you report this to the police at once.

Please, Mrs. Leonard lady, I need protection.

Tonelli tell the cops, and his place get smash.

If you don’t report it, I will.

Mrs. Leonard lady, please,

no tell the cops. Don’t do nothin'.

Everything is hunky dory.

Please.

Mr. Zambrogio, mind your business.

Lila, to the City Hall.

Hattie, glad to see you.

Johnny Jones, do you know that Macklin City

is a dreadful place to live in?

Do you know that we have--

Hattie, just a moment, calm yourself. Sit down.

What kind of Mayor are you anyway?

I’ve been too busy the last 20 years to know what’s going on.

I’m just beginning to find out.

But, Hattie, will you please sit down,

cool yourself off.

How’ve you been?

Don’t you try to butter me, Johnny Jones.

Stamp out these frightful rackets.

Hattie, there must be some better way

for you to occupy yourself

than telling me my business.

It’s my business to be a good citizen.

Yes, but I happen to be the mayor.

I promise you I’ll clean up these rackets

in my own way at the proper time.

Rome wasn’t built in a day.

While you’re building Rome, Johnny Jones,

poor Mr. Zambrogio and his friends

are paying tribute to this dreadful Mr. Lug.

Very well, if you won’t do anything, I will.

And right now!

Hey, you trumped my ace.

Oh, why do I keep doin’ that?

The minute I pulled it I knew it was a fatal mistake.

Mind if I watch?

No kibitzers allowed. Beat it!

Oh, hello, Mr. Leonard.

Hello, O’Fallon. You in town?

Can I see you a minute?

Sure.

How’s your old-- I mean how’s your mother?

Herself as usual. She wants you.

Me? Here’s a wire I got from her.

Aw, gee, Mr. Leonard, I ain’t done nothing wrong.

Grabbing the old lady’s purse

was the last job I ever pulled.

Why, me and the mob ain’t even been on speaking terms

since she gave me a chance to go straight.

What’s she want me for?

Where my mother’s concerned, Frankie,

it’s a case of ours not to question why,

ours but to do and die.

Huh? Well, anyway, I’m on my way.

Back on the iron horse, O’Fallon.

Aw, listen coppers,

this time I got the keys to the city.

Mrs. Hattie Leonard sent for me.

Yeah, what for?

Gee, I’m just as bewildered as you are.

Why don’t you come up to the house

and find out for the both of us?

We’ll be watching you, Frankie.

Hey, get a load of the cut of that back.

Very nice, very nice.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Say...

you doing anything tonight, babe?

No.

No, I’m confined to quarters.

Yeah? What did she catch you grabbing?

Her son. Whew!

A snatch!

That’s tough.

Ah, but don’t you worry.

She won’t cause you no trouble.

No?

No. She caught me lifting her pocketbook

and wound up buying me a taxicab.

Frankie, ready?

Where to, lady?

My servants call me madam.

Gee, it don’t hardly sound respectable.

You will drive to M Street.

You will enter the dry cleaning establishment

of Mr. Zambrogio.

A certain Mr. Lug will arrive at promptly 11:00.

You will, if necessary, beat him unmercifully.

But do not let him take $7.00.

Mrs. Leonard,

I don’t want nothing to do with no gangsters.

I didn’t think you were chicken-hearted, Frankie.

Aw, gee, it ain’t that lady--madam--

I’ll murder him, but it don’t sound ethical.

Nevertheless, you will carry out my orders at once.

Come with me, Lila.

Have the car at the door in five minutes, Thorndyke.

Thorndyke?

I never did like the name O’Fallon.

Thorndyke. Another alias.

I can hardly wait

for that most despicable Mr. Lug to arrive.

Last Wednesday, I tried reason.

This Wednesday, I’m using force.

It’s the only language the underworld understands.

There he is now.

I hope Thorndyke won’t be too brutal.

What’s--what's that?

The ambulance, of course.

I arranged for it before I left.

Nobody’s selling tickets, ladies.

I’m Mrs. Leonard.

All right, stand back.

Thorndyke!

It was a complete surprise to me too, madam.

Stand back.

All right now, break it up.

Come on, break it up.

A most disgraceful exhibition, Thorndyke.

Where did he strike you?

Right behind the cash register.

I’m afraid you're not entirely adequate.

Oh, please, madam,

give me another crack at him.

All I ask for is brass knuckles.

I wonder how one goes about acquiring henchmen.

You mean a mob?

I believe that’s what you call it.

Why, it’s a cinch if you got connections.

Say, madam, you ain’t thinking of--

Thorndyke, get me a mob.

Oh, madam,

please don’t make me do it.

I should have took the rap instead of letting you buy me a taxi.

And while you’re about it,

order me half a dozen machine guns

and an armored car.

Look, Mr. District Attorney,

I know you guys are tabbing me.

So when the old dame asks me to get her a mob,

six coffee grinders, and a tank, I says okay.

But I beats it right down here to see you.

What do you want me to do?

I’d like to see that old battle-axe

run them all out of town.

Couldn’t you just please put her in the can,

only for a little while,

just long enough for me to take a powder?

O’Fallon, I want you back in my office

tomorrow morning at 10:00.

All right, gentlemen.

I got to see my lawyer.

What are you pulling us in for?

You ain’t got nothing on me.

You ain’t gonna roust me around!

What’s the charges? I ain’t talking, see?

We’ve been framed.

And if I did do anything, you can’t prove it.

I got a witness.

Keep your shirts on, boys.

You’re all in the clear.

Oh, yeah?

t must be a lot of trouble for you men

to report to the probation officer every week.

I should say it is.

How would you like to wash yourselves up

with the law once and for all?

Sounds okay to me.

Wait a minute. What have we got to do?

I want to swear you in as special deputies.

What? You want us to be cops?

You mean turn copper?

That’s right. Oh no, none of that.

You’ll be assigned to Mrs. Hattie Leonard

and take your orders from her.

Nobody knows you’re actually members

of the police department, not even Mrs. Leonard.

How about it?

I...

I think we better talk it over.

Good idea. Make it snappy.

Do you solemnly swear

to support the Constitution of the United States

and the constitution of the state.

You, what are you winking about?

I ain’t winking.

That’s an affliction he got

from the Beefsteak gang.

It better be.

And faithfully discharge the duty of deputy sheriff

according to the best of your ability?

I do.

Pin the badges on them.

She’s taken up crime.

Now, now, you’re just making a mountain

out of a molehill.

Mother usually knows what she’s doing.

And as long as you still love me--

I must, dear, to last this long.

Well then, that’s all that matters.

And there’s nothing to worry about.

Remember, the hand is quicker than the eye.

Freddie, they’ve come for her.

They’re going to take her for a ride.

Oh!

What do you want?

I’m Fred Leonard. So what?

Beat it. Beat it.

Look here, I’m--

What are you hanging around here for anyhow?

Who’s the moll?

Who are you? What’s it to you?

Get out of this house.

Take it easy, buddy.

If you don’t leave this house at once,

I am going to call the police.

He’s going to call the cops.

I certainly am.

Sit down!

Here.

Oh, a wise guy.

Don’t you--don't you!

Lila, keep out of this!

Come on, come on.

Frederick. Frederick.

I don’t think this is very hospitable of you.

These gentlemen are my guests.

Excuse me, I didn’t know.

Oh, that’s all right, pal. Skip it.

I didn’t expect you home until next week.

I’d like you to meet my friends.

Gentlemen, this is my son Frederick.

Frederick, this is Bert the Beetle.

Howdy.

Big Time Tim. How do you do?

Mr. Brains Logan. Got ya.

Blinky Mack.

Huh! And the Canary.

Hi ya!

Oh, and I almost forgot,

his fiancée Miss Thorne.

Charmed.

Likewise.Hello.

They’re staying with us for a while.

Come, gentlemen, Brewster will show you to your rooms.

See you later, huh?

I wouldn’t be a bit surprised

if I wake up dead tomorrow morning.

Hey, Junior, pour it in.

Very good, sir.

What are you doing that for?

It clears me head out, but it makes me eyes water.

Yeah.Did you ever smell it?

No. Try it.

Hey, what are you trying to do, blind me?

That reminds me of One-Eyed Thompson,

I think they threw him in a barrel of concrete,

and he ain’t been heard from since.

Now, that’s the truth.

You and me, lady, we both eat like birds.

Yeah, vultures.

Hey, that ketchup costs 40 cents a bottle.

And it’s worth it too.

Missed it again.

Slide the grease, lady. The grease, lady.

It’s the butter, lady.

On minute, gentlemen, if you’d take your time--

Oh, no, you don’t!

Have I done anything wrong, sir?

Never sneak up on me that way, see?

I don’t like it. It gets me kind of excited.

Very good, sir.

I betcha I finally do it this time.

Betcha five you don’t.

I did it.

He did it! He did it!

Well, what’s the matter with her?

Aw, don’t pay any attention to her. Keep on eating.

Lila, dear. I’m going home.

Please don’t be hasty.

Freddie, I may be descended from gorillas

but I don’t have to know them socially.

They won’t be here long.

I’m going to tell Mother a thing or two right away.

Shall I serve you in your room, Miss Thorne?

I couldn’t eat a thing. Brewster, where’s Mrs. Leonard?

I don’t know, Miss. She left early with Thorndyke.

Lila.

I’ll talk to her right now.

Lila.

Mother, what’s the matter?

Good morning, children. Bullet proof.

Does 90 in second. Watch this.

Step on her, Thorndyke.

Mother, what in the world--

Just a snappy little number I picked up. Look at this.

No, no, back there, back there.

If the smoke don’t get them, the tacks will.

Mother, don’t you think we ought to talk about all this?

Of course we should, Frederick.

But I’m frightfully busy right now.

You run along and mind the bank for me.

We’ll have a nice heart-to-heart chat

directly after dinner. Come along, Thorndyke.

Well, you certainly told her a thing or two.

After all, Lila, this may all be a harmless fancy.

Take a peek at those harmless fancies in the back.

This is awful.

Freddie, you said you’d speak to her.

I know I did, Lila.

But you can’t speak to Mother just like that.

Now look, dear,

let me think about this for a while.

I’ll find some way

to make her stop whatever she’s doing.

But just give me a little time.

Well, I suppose I’ll have to.

But I warn you,

I will not marry into a family with a record.

What do you think that picture’s worth?

Oh, about seven and a half bucks.

Don’t be a chump.

The paint alone ought to be worth 15 smackers.

Say, do you think that’s a picture?

Get a load of the ventriloquist here.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Good morning. Morning, Miss.

Sit down. Sit down.

Thorndyke has explained the financial arrangements.

I trust they’ll be satisfactory.

Sure, lady,

but what are we getting paid for?

There’s a racket in this city.

We heard rumors. I’m going to stop it.

And you’re going to help me.

What kind of a racket. Who’s running it?

A certain Mr. Lug.

Harry the Lug?

It ain’t him, lady.

He’s collecting for somebody else.

Who?

We’ll tail him and find out.

Tail him?

He means follow him, madam.

Then what?

We’ll call the cops.

No, I’m afraid we can’t do that.

That’s why I hired you.

Okay, so first we throw the bluff.

I beg your pardon. Crash the gate.

Then we tell ’em we’re musclin' in.

Muscling in?

Moving in on their territory.

We’ll give 'em 24 hours

to take it on the lam.

On the lam?

Make ’emselves scarce.

Very well, gentlemen, we shall...

tail the Lug.

Come along.

What’s the matter with you?

I don’t know.

I got a funny feeling all day like I been tailed.

Here. An old lady with a mob?

Okay, boss, we’ll look into the matter.

Where do we locate her?

Right here.

That’s her, the looney.

The one I was telling you about.

Yes, the shipments will be made as usual.

Goodbye.

You are Mr. Watson?

That’s right.

What can I do for you?

I’m a peace-loving woman.

I think it only fair before I adopt more drastic measures

to give you a chance to stop these rackets

and find some honest means of employment.

Ain’t she crazy?

Well, I’m sorry you don’t like the way I run my business, lady.

Funny, none of my clients make complaints.

Don’t quibble, Mr. Watson. It is either yes or no.

Lady, you’re asking me to give up my career.

Very well, I gave you your chance.

Don’t nobody move!

Now, take a tip, lady,

and throw those stumble bums back in the ashcan.

And you--well you better go back to your knitting.

Mr. Watson, I am taking over.

I am...

Muscling in.

I give you exactly 24 hours

to take it on the...

skidoo.

I’m practically on the train.

If I catch you in this vicinity tomorrow--

Yes?

I’ll blow your head off.

Haven’t we overlooked something?

Suppose they don’t take it on the lam?

We got to start shooting.

Isn’t that a little primitive?

I got it. We hijack ’em.

Every time one of those monkeys collects seven smackers,

we take it away from him.

That’s a lot of nickels.

She gets half and the rest of us share and share alike.

Nix, we give it back to the merchants.

That really wasn’t worthy of you, Brains.

Oh, I’m sorry.

I forgot we were doing this on the cuff.

High jinxing seems to be an excellent solution.

Especially since I’m sure they won’t be expecting us.

Gentlemen, we shall catch them with their coats down.

Aaron Aardvark.

4-4-3 Bell Street.

443 Bell Street.

Mr. Aardvark. Mr. Aardvark.

There he is. There’s the Lug.

Remember, lay off. He’s for me.

Sock him.

Harry the Lug, your time has come.

Mr. Zambrogio, here are your $7.00.

Grazie.

Brewster.

Brewster, more hot water, Brewster.

Ohh!

Marge, Marge.

Why did you run out on me, Marge?

Ohh! Ohh!

Aw, gee, madam,

I’d have got him like I told you.

I was just gonna be victorious

when some rat sneaked up and struck me from behind.

Ohh!

I’m all tied up in knots.

Maybe I’m going to stay that way.

Nonsense, take off your shirt. I can’t.

Ohh!

Lila, the liniment, please.

Oh, Marge...

Ohh...

Thank you.

Ah, that’s good.

Not there, not there. A little lower, madam.

Now just a little bit to the right.

Ah, there.

You got it. You got it.

That’s the spot.

Marge, oh, Marge.

Lady, lady, I think he’s got brain fever.

Who, him? That’s impossible!

Lila, there’s a thermometer on the table.

Take his temperature.

Gee, madam, that’s heavenly.

When are you coming back to me?

Open your mouth. Marge!

Stop!

What happened?

Mrs. Leonard, I’m leaving. Goodbye!

Lila, where are you going?

Home. I’ve been packed for days,

Freddie, if you can’t handle an old lady,

you certainly couldn’t manage me.

Lady, there’s a mob out there.

Let them in, Brewster.

Yes, madam.

What’s this?

My two weeks notice, madam.

We want to talk to Mrs. Leonard.

Who shall I say is calling?

Never mind.

Who else lives here?

Mr. Zambrogio, I’m so glad to see you.

I don’t believe I know all your friends.

Well, we represent the cleaners and dyers of Macklin City.

We demand-- Tea, Brewster.

Yes, madam.

We no want tea, Mrs. Leonard lady.

We wanna to talk.

Every fixture smashed in five payments yet.

My kid’s got convulsions, and my wife ain’t--

MAN 2:34 cash customers canceled their accounts.

For the first time I have missed a delivery in 14 years.

All my windows smashed, and everything upside down.

Mrs. Leonard lady, it’s got to stop.

You are so right, Mr. Zambrogio.

I will fight this through if it takes--

No, no, Mrs. Leonard lady, it’s you.

You got to stop.

Mrs. Leonard lady, please, we wanna pay the $7.00.

You got to lay off of Watson.

Please, you gotta quit, or we all gonna be bankrupt.

Give us a break, lady.

Just a fair chance is all.

We make a couple of dollars so we can feed our kids.

That’s all we want.

Please, gentlemen, please.

I’ve listened to you. Now will you listen to me?

First, I’m very sorry

your shops have been damaged.

Please send me all bills.

You mean to say you gonna pay for all the damage?

Yes, millions for defense

but not one cent for tribute.

Well, that’s very nice, Mrs. Leonard lady.

But I don’t worry no more about bills

if I am laying in my coffin.

Since when have Americans been afraid to die?

You are Americans?

Say it on the paper.

You see that man?

He was at Bull Run.

His father was at Valley Forge.

It wasn’t easy being an American then.

It isn’t easy now.

It takes pride and strength and courage.

The one thing a real American

has never tolerated and never will tolerate

is a dictator.

Can’t you see that's what Mr. Watson

is trying to become?

Mr. Watson doesn’t believe in your unalienable rights

to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Mr. Watson doesn’t want a government of the people,

by the people or for the people.

Abraham Lincoln.

Don’t let any Mr. Watson take our America away from us.

Don’t let him frighten you into selling your birthright.

No matter what he says or what he does,

don’t surrender.

There’s one thing I’d like you to do for me.

The next time one of his hired ruffians demands $7.00,

don’t give it to him.

Take a beating if you must, but don’t give it to him.

For one day

I’d like you to really be Americans

and say, "Give me liberty or give me death."

Patrick Henry.

We’ll tell 'em.

Nobody gonna push us around. This is a free country.

We’re with you, Mrs. Leonard.

We’ll fight 'em to a finish.

Three cheers for Mrs. Leonard!

Aah!

Well, that ought to hold ’em for a while.

Yeah.

Brewster, I thought I ordered tea.

Immediately, madam.

Hey, come out of there. What are you afraid of?

I’m not afraid. I’m just careful.

Mother, this must stop.

You’ll get these people killed.

And if you don’t put an end to this whole stupid business at once,

for your own sake, I’m going to ask the state to give you a sanity test.

Why! You’ll do nothing of the sort, Freddie.

She’s absolutely right.

Thank you, my dear.

But Lila, a few minutes ago--

A few minutes ago I didn’t know what a bad American I was.

But I’m right with you--

I don’t know if my mother's crazy, but if she is,

you’re catching it from her. And as far as I’m concerned,

you can both go jump in the lake!

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

I’m a little disappointed in Frederick.

Well, what do we do now?

Now, we got to start shooting.

That’s just what we’re going to do.

We’ll blow 'em up.

We’ll do nothing of the sort.

Lila, help me collect the gentlemen’s firing arms.

Gats, I mean.

Oh, gee, lady, I feel kind of naked.

Now, gentlemen,

weren’t any of you ever in a racket?

I was.

The Beggars and Apple Women’s Protective.

Think hard, Thorndyke,

what made you go out of business?

Well, we folded when they arrested the big shot.

Mr. Watson, you mean?

Aw, no. Watson’s only a stooge,

just like Harry the Lug.

I mean the guy that was protecting us,

handcuffing the cops.

There’s always a higher up.

And Mr. Watson would know who he was.

Sure. But he’s too smart to spill it.

Of course. Of course!

One would hardly call Mr. Lug a mental giant.

That’s him. That’s the guy.

That’s the snake we want!

Lila, would you mind, dear? Please, please, please.

We have some business to discuss.

Yes, but if it’s all the same to you,

I’d like to stay.

Very well

Mr. Lug.

I’m sorry I wasn't in when you called yesterday.

Sure, any friend of Joe’s is a friend of mine.

How about tonight?

Tonight? Why--yes--

I wouldn’t appear too anxious.

Joe said you were a fast worker.

Take it easy, big boy, don’t rush me now.

You know you’ll last longer.

You’re superb, my dear.

Well, that’s the way I am.

You sound like the McCoy, so I’m for you.

Come on, meet me tonight at the Black Kitten.

I’ll pay the taxi.

Joe said you were a sport.

Well, sugar, if I get too lonesome,

I might drop over.

So long now.

How did I do?

My dear, I’m proud of you.

You’re amazing, amazing.

Joe really picks ’em.

Joe who?

Who cares? I’ll be in the barbershop.

He wants me to meet him at the Black Kitten.

I know, I think I’ll wear that slinky black satin.

I’ll try it on right now.

Now, look here, Lila.

Good morning, Frederick.

She’s not going. I heard every word.

You shouldn’t eavesdrop, Frederick.

Very clever,

encouraging her to do something drastic

just because we had a little lover’s quarrel.

Ah, don’t be adolescent, Frederick.

Lila’s old enough to know what she’s doing.

And you’re old enough to be a grandmother.

Now I didn’t care when you broke off my engagement

to all those other girls,

but I really love this one.

Now, you stick to your rackets,

or--or I’ll sue you for alienation of affection.

The front seems to be all right.

Turn around.

Oh, no, the back could be more, um,

open.

Well, I could have worn a bathing suit.

Please, this is a very serious matter.

Now, let me see you walk.

Walk? Yes, walk.

You must have that certain...

swing, I think they call it.

Oh.

How am I doing?

Not at all. Not at all.

Like this.

Why, Mrs. Leonard.

Tim, you stay here and keep a look out.

On the wall. Give me a boost.

There they are. What are they doing?

Indulging in a little repartee.

What, already?

I never would have believed it.

Lady, hey, lady. Come.

Wait.

Frederick! He would.

Whatever will she do now?

There’s Frederick now.

She sees him over Mr. Lug’s shoulder.

Uh...

You mind checking my wrap?

Sure.

She’s asking Mr. Lug to check her coat.

He’s getting up. He’s leaving.

Good girl.

Here comes Frederick.

Oh!

I think he wants her to leave with him.

She won’t leave.

They’re arguing. Oh, Freddy’s getting very difficult.

What if Mr. lug should return?

She’s beckoning to someone,

someone large and athletic looking.

The bouncer.

Lila points to Frederick.

Frederick’s arguing with him.

Frederick’s pointing to Lila.

She shakes her head.

Oh, dear, whatever will she do?

Oh!

What happened?

That person just struck Frederick.

They’re fighting.

Frederick strikes him back.

I didn’t think he had it in him.

He strikes him again.

He strikes him again. Frederick’s down.

He’s up.

He’s down.

He’s up.

He’s down.

Put me down.

What happened to Mr. Leonard?

Home with him.

What happened?

Aw, just a couple of drunks.

Let’s you and I get out of here.

Okay, Toots.

Mr. Lug has come back.

She’s putting on her coat.

He offers her his arm.

They’re leaving.

Put me down.

Come on. Come on.

You’re wasting your time.

Why don’t you mugs stop annoying me?

I give up.

The guy’s an iron man.

We get him the hot foot, the hose, and the screws,

and he won’t squeal who’s protecting him.

How about us walking him,

turning the light in his eyes,

blowing in his face and yelling at him?

I have rarely seen such inefficiency.

We still ain’t showed him the red-hot poker.

That’ll make him sing.

Mr. Lug, I’ll give you one more chance

to divulge the identity of your higher-up.

Right away, my dear.

Mr. Lug,

I’ll go to any lengths to find out who he is.

Lila? Here you are.

No.

No, not that. Anything but that.

Please.

No.

I’ll talk! I'll talk!

It’s Jones! Mayor Jones!

Johnny Jones?

I can hardly believe it.

Mr. Lug, if you’re lying--

No! I’m telling the truth. I swear I am.

Mustn’t breathe one word of this to anyone.

I’ll take care of this in my own way.

Lila, come to the library with me.

Say, do you really think

she would have gone through with it?

Sure, that old lady’s got a vicious streak in her.

I just crawled up the coal-chute.

How very interesting.

I had to tell her.

You did? Who?

The Looney. Old Mrs. Leonard.

She snatched me.

She kept me down in the cellar,

and she sweated it out of me about you.

Mrs. Leonard, the mayor’s busy.

Hello. Hello, J.J.

Oh, good morning, Hattie.

Don’t you good morning me, Johnny Jones. Sign this.

Sign what? Your resignation.

Still the same old lovable Hattie.

Now, why should I--

Because you’re the higher up.

You’re the man behind these rackets.

I am? Now, what--

Never mind, you’ll sign that resignation

or I’ll tell what I know

on every street corner in the city.

See here, Hattie.

whom do you think the public will believe?

Me, who’s been mayor of this town for 20 years

or you, a meddlesome old crank?

You’ll find out soon enough.

I’ll shout what I know from the housetops.

Johnny Jones,

I’ll see you behind prison bars.

Get a load of this.

What is it?

Do you mean to say they put the old lady in the can?

Why, this whole thing is unconstitutional.

What are you getting excited about?

Excited? Who’s excited? I’m not excited.

Oh, sit down.

Hey, we got to do something.

Come on, let’s get going.

You got 10 minutes.

Some people to see you.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

It’s nice of you to drop in.

You see, madam, crime don’t never pay.

Me and the boys are all broke up about his, lady.

With good behavior, you ought to get off with 25 years.

Come, come, it’s always darkest before dawn.

You tell her, Brains, I can’t.

We were talking to the district attorney,

and, Mrs. Leonard, you ain’t got a chance.

You didn’t tell him about you-know-who?

I’m saving that.

Well, we got desperate, to tell you the truth.

And we spilled it all.

What did he say? He knew it all the time,

but he couldn’t do anything without evidence.

Evidence?

Gentlemen, you’ve got to get me out of here.

You mean break--

We can’t spring you out of this joint.

Aw, gee, Mrs. Leonard,

why don’t you pay your debt to society and go straight?

Listen, you mugs,

I’ve been taking advice from you

with rather unfortunate results.

From now on I’m doing the thinking. See?

Okay, madam.

Boys, this is what I want you to do.

Hurry up! Hurry up! We got to work fast.

Nix, nix.

We’re supposed to be working for the government.

Mrs. Leonard,

here’s a package your chauffeur left for you.

Just a minute. I’d better see what’s in it.

Oh...

Thank you.

Hey, don’t forget to come back.

What are we coming here for?

I need a little cash.

I could use a little myself.

I’m nervous. I never robbed a bank before.

Grand Larceny. Me life’s ambition.

Remember, we’re all on the honor system.

Hey, what’s them bells?

Pay no attention to it.

What about the cops?

Mrs. Leonard!

Ain’t you supposed to be in jail, Mrs. Leonard?

Didn’t you ever play hooky, Mr. Flannagan?

Geez! It’s the cops.

Tell him it was an accident.

I can’t do that.

You do it, or I’ll discharge you.

Flannagan?

Yes, Riley? What’s the matter?

I thought I heard the bells ring.

It was an accident, Riley.

I must have done it walking in my sleep.

With all her other trouble,

what would Mrs. Leonard say

if she knew her night watchman was a sleepwalker?

Rest easy, Riley. I’ll stay awake.

I’ll count sheep.

Make sure that’s all you count.

Come on. Come on.

That’s what I call finesse.

The promised land.

What a spot for a can of nitro.

And us on the honor system.

Now, let me see.

I need the telephone directory...

and a pencil.

Have you a pencil, Mr. Flannagan?

Oh, no, no, I want an indelible pencil.

That will do very nicely.

Not a work of this to anyone, Mr. Flannagan.

No, Mrs. Leonard.

When we go, lock the door.

And then you can go back to sleep again.

Come, gentlemen.

This time we’ll start with the z’s

and go backwards.

Thorndyke, drive to Zambrogio’s place.

Do I make myself clear, Mr. Zambrogio?

Yes, Mrs. Leonard lady.

Then sign here, please. It’s my receipt.

Bless you.

Now, hurry back to bed.

You’ll catch your death of cold.

Coast clear, Thorndyke?

If she no shoot you with bullets,

she kill you with pahmonia.

It’s a dream. It’s a dream.

Say that looked like old Mrs. Leonard in that car.

Well, ain’t she in jail?

She’s liable to be anywhere. Come on.

Hey, the cops. Step on it, Thorndyke!

Hurry up, they’re gaining on us.

There’s nothing we can do.

We gotta start shootin’.

Put that down.

That ought to discourage them.

They’re still coming.

What are we gonna do now?

It’s curtains if they catch us.

Thorndyke, give them the tacks.

Not guilty, your honor! I’ve been framed.

So you see, my dear,

everything is turning out beautifully, so far.

I think you’re swell Mrs. Leonard

Third cell to the left.

You’ve got 10 minutes.

Mother, don’t worry.

I’ll do everything possible to clear you.

Frederick, I wouldn’t do anything rash.

But kidnapping-- that’s the most ridiculous thing

I’ve ever heard of.

Frederick, just between us, it’s true.

What? I’m absolutely guilty.

Well, that doesn’t make any difference.

I don’t care what you’ve done.

I’ll get the finest lawyers in the country.

That’s very loyal of you, Frederick,

but couldn’t you wait a few days?

A few days? Not a minute.

I’ll have you bailed out of here by tonight.

But, Frederick, you don’t understand.

You see, dear,

I’ve done a lot of thinking here.

I see it all now.

And I’ve committed a crime,

a crime for which I must pay the penalty.

Now. Now, Mother, don’t cry.

Thank you, my boy.

Thank you, my boy.

But don’t you see I must make amends for what I’ve done.

Don’t take that away from me.

But, Mother, I can’t let you

stay in jail for the rest of your life.

There’s only one thing you can do

to make my last few remaining years endurable.

If I only knew that you were happy,

you and Lila.

I know you love each other, and I drove you apart.

Please, for my sake,

I want you to get married.

I’d like to do what you say, Mother,

but Lila and I--

Why, Lila’s mad about you, aren’t you, Lila?

Certainly! I’m mad about you.

The who was that man you were with at the Black Kitten?

Why he was--

That was the man I snatched.

I used Lila as a decoy.

You...

you used Lila as a d--

Oh, what a fool I am.

Lila, darling.

I’d like to be alone now, please.

Mother, don’t worry.

I’m going to do something about this right away.

Marry him right away and don’t let him go out nights.

I’ll drop you boys

at the district attorney’s house.

Bring him to me.

Here we are, boys, hurry.

To the bank, Thorndyke.

We wanna see the D.A.

I’m sorry, sir, but he’s retired for the night.

Oh, yeah?

What’s the meaning of this?

On your feet! We’re taking you

to the boss. She needs you.

I can’t do anything. She’s got to stay in jail.

It’s absolutely impossible to get her out.

That’s a matter of opinion,

which we won’t discuss now.

All we say is you’re comin’ with us.

I’m up to my neck in this thing already.

Now clear out. I’m tired.

Sorry, chief, but we got our orders.

You men are special deputies

and take your orders from me.

Then I resign.

Me too.

We quit! From now on

we’re working for the boss exclusive.

What’s going on here?

Come on. Come on.

You can’t get away with this.

We’re doing it.

I’ll get you men.Come on.

Get going. Never mind.

Not too much talking about it.

Mrs. Leonard!

Good evening, young men.

Mayor Jones’ safety deposit box.

You can’t do that.

Wasn’t kidnapping bad enough?

This time you’ve gone too far

committing a crime under the very eyes

of the district attorney.

Oh, hush!

Give me a match.

Scram!

Lady, you got a real talent.

Here’s your evidence, young man.

Johnny Jones’ share of Mr. Watson’s collections

from the cleaners and dyers.

How do you know?

Because I marked each bill with an indelible pencil

before I gave it to the merchants to pay off with, see?

Yes, but will the tradesmen swear to that?

Here are their signatures,

acknowledging receipt of the money.

Great! This is as good as an affidavit.

I’ll get right to work.

All right, boys, a couple of you come with me

the rest of you go out and pull in the Watson mob.

Don’t let anybody countermand my orders. That’s all.

Now for the big shot.

Do you take this woman

to be you lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Arrest that man! Mother!

W--What does this mean?

Johnny Jones, I always said you’d come to no good end.

I demand an explanation.

We’ve got you dead to rights, J.J.

Here’s a warrant arresting you for conspiracy,

extortion, and everything else in the book.

Oh...

You were being married,

and in my bridal veil.

I clean it up for her just like new.

How much did you charge?

The old price-- one dollar...

75.

Come along, your honor.

Johnny Jones, you come right back here

and finish what you were doing.

Where was I?

I was just about to take this man

to be my lawful wedded husband, and I do.

Go ahead, Johnny.

I pronounce you man and wife.

Wait a minute!

You’re supposed to be in jail,

at least temporarily.

You are quite right.

I owe it to your children.

Their grandmother should not be a fugitive from justice.

Thorndyke, to the jail.

Don’t worry, children, I’ll beat this rap!