Original subtitles

- Subtitles - Lu�s Filipe Bernardes

Sorry folks.

Once more around the park.

Can't be done, sir, if the young lady's going to catch that train.

Oh, the Grand Central Station then. And no shortcuts.

All aboard! All aboard!

Say, mister, we got a timetable!

Oh, just one more minute, please.

There's another train leaves in two hours, maybe you'd better take that.

Weren't you young once yourself?

Lady, not that young.

All aboard! All aboard!

Goodbye, Lila.

Oh, Freddie, I wish you were coming with me, I could use a little moral support.

Well, just as soon as I close this bank deal, I'll fly home and we'll be married.

I hope your mother and I hit it off.

Of course you will, darling, she's a rare old girl.

That's just what worries me, I do a little raring myself.

Oh, stop worrying, you'll love it at Mother's.

All aboard!

And this time I mean it!

- Goodbye, Lila. - Goodbye, Freddie.

I know Mother will be pleased when she sees you.

I hope you realize I'm not marrying your mother.

That's what you think.

Right this way, my dear.

I wasn't sure. Frederick's descriptions are always so flattering.

Well, I knew it was you the moment I saw you, Mrs. Leonard.

- Well, jump in, my dear. - Thank you.

Good afternoon, porter. Put the bag on the floor.

My dear, would you mind blowing your smoke rings out of the window,

- I'm allergic to them. - I'm so sorry.

Young man, jaywalking is a menace to motorists! Obey the traffic laws!

Frankly, my dear, after having seen you...

I'm not at all sure you're the kind of girl Freddie should marry.

You're much too beautiful.

Brains and character so seldom go with a lovely face.

And you are lovely.

Thank you, but don't you think you're judging me rather hastily, Mrs. Leonard?

Perhaps. We shall see, my dear, we shall see.

I'm going in here for a minute.

Won't you come in?

But it's Saturday afternoon, the bank's closed, isn't it?

Of course it's closed, but it's my bank, isn't it, or Freddie's I should say.

Come along.

Who's there? What's going on here?

It's only I, Mr. Flanagan.

Oh, you gave me a start, Mrs. Leonard.

I'm glad to see you up and down, Mr. Flanagan.

Thank you!

Excuse me.

I always pay all my bills on Saturday.

In cash.

Come along.

It's really a nice bank. We've never had a run.

Isn't it good of Frederick?

Yes... who's the young lady?

Oh, that's the girl he was engaged to last year.

He had this taken when she came to visit me.

Lovely girl.

I wonder why Frederick never heard from her after she left.

This is Miss Thorne, Brewster. Her baggage is in the car.

Put it in the west bedroom, directly across from me.

Very good, madam.

Oh, right this way, my dear.

You're really a godsend to me. My secretary had to visit her mother.

I suppose you do excellent stenographic work.

Well, could I, um...

I mean, I haven't even got my hat off yet.

Oh, well, take it off by all means.

Thank you.

Hmm!

I shall have to take this up with Mr. Zambrogio at once.

He's charged me $2 a dress instead of $1,75.

Sit down, please.

Take a letter.

Mrs. Leonard, I don't type.

How very surprising.

- I suppose you write fairly legibly? - Oh, yes.

Yes, I have a rather high IQ.

Oh, my dear, I want to get this off immediately.

My dear Mr. Zambrogio,

I have just received your bill.

And I am surprised to know that you've raised your prices 25 cents.

In view of my nineteen-year association...

- Just a moment, please, of your what? - Nineteen years' association.

Don't you think this step a bit drastic?

Don't you think this step...

- a bit... - Drastic.

Question mark.

I'm sorry to inform you, Mr. Zambrogio,

but if this continues,

I shall be forced to sever our business relationship.

Sincerely, Hattie Leonard.

Where is he?

Well, Mr. Zambrogio?

Good morning, Mrs. Leonard lady, nice day.

- Sit down. - Grazie.

- You got my letter, of course. - Yes, ma'am.

And it make me feel ver bad.

I said to my wife, Angela, for nineteen years...

- Sit down, please. - Grazie.

Isn't the chair comfortable?

Oh, it's fine. I said to my wife, Angela,

for nineteen years me and Mrs. Leonard we do business together.

And just for her, nobody else, I make the old price, $1.75.

- Sit down. - Grazie.

I don't like bargains.

What made you raise your prices?

Well, you see, I got my expenses.

Every Wednesday a man he come and gets $7.

He's from the protective association.

Protective association?

What ever do they protect you from?

I don't know!

But Tonnelli, he no pay.

And somebody broke his window, steal the clothes and burn them up.

So, I pay.

I can hardly believe it.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Leonard lady, it's the truth. This association is a very good thing.

Hmm... Lila, give Mr. Zambrogio two dollars.

- Oh, no, please, Mrs. Leonard. - Sit down!

As long as you continue to belong to this protective association,

- I will pay your increased prices. - Thank you.

When did you say their representative called?

Every Wednesday, 11 o'clock on the dot.

Thank you.

- I get up now, yes? - Oh, yes, yes.

Thank you. Goodbye, Mrs. Leonard lady.

Goodbye, Mr. Zambrogio.

Lila, our engagement pad.

Zambrogio shop. Wednesday. 11 o'clock.

Yes, Mrs. Leonard lady. 11 o'clock.

On the dot.

Lila, wait for me here.

- Good morning, Mrs. Zambrogio. - Buon giorno, signora.

- Vicenzo! - Mrs. Leonard lady!

When you come in my place, it's a big day.

My goodness, how he's grown!

- I brought him a little present. - Como � bello! Grazie, grazie!

Hey, Ravioli, you got that suit for me?

Come on, this is my busy day.

Excuse me, please.

Is he the gentleman from the association?

Yes, ma'am, he calls himself Harry the Lug.

Mr. Lug, may I have a word with you?

What about?

Hey, hurry up with that suit and give this one a light once over.

You might have the coomon courtesy to come out here while I'm addressing you.

Come on, toots, spill it.

Toots.

Toots.

Hey!

Please, he no like to talk business.

Mr. Lug, from exactly what and whom are you protecting Mr. Zambrogio?

Ravioli, who is this screwball?

Why don't you go peddle your fish?

Mrs. Leonard lady, please, he's a nice man.

He's a disreputable, suspicious character!

Now, look, I don't want to have no trouble with you. Come on, pay up!

I forbid you to pay him one solitary cent.

But I like to pay, it's alright.

- Don't you dare, Mr. Zambrogio! - You're wasting my time.

That's stealing! Get your hand out of there!

Lady, you're gonna make it awful tough for him.

You're a thief. An undesirable citizen like you ought to be in jail.

Yeah, and an old hen like you oughta be at home laying a egg.

Mr. Zambrogio, you must report this to the police at once!

Police? Mrs. Leonard lady, I need protection!

Tonnelli he told the cop and his place get smashed.

If you don't report it, I will.

Mrs. Leonard lady, please, no tell the cop. Don't do nothing.

Everything is hunky dory, please.

Mr. Zambrogio, mind your business!

Lila, to the City Hall.

Hattie! Glad to see you!

Tommy Jones, do you know that Macklen City is a dreadful place to live in?

- Do you know that we have... - Hattie, just a moment.

Calm yourself, sit down. - What kind of a mayor are you anyway?

I've been to busy the last twenty years to know what's going on.

- I'm just beginning to find out. - But Hattie, will you please sit down.

Cool yourself off. How have you been?

Don't you try to butter me, Johnny Jones.

Stamp out these frightful rackets!

Hattie, there must be some better way for you to occupy yourself...

...than telling me my business.

It's my business to be a good citizen.

Yes, but I happen to be the mayor.

I promise you I'll clean up these rackets in my own way at the proper time.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

While you're building Rome, Johnny Jones,

poor Mr. Zambrogio and his friends are paying tribute to this dreadful Mr. Lug.

Very well, if you won't do anything, I will.

And right now!

- Hey, you trumped my ace! - Oh, why do I keep doing that?

The minute I pulled it, I knew it was a fatal mistake.

- Mind if I watch? - No tidbitters allowed, beat it!

- Oh, hello, Mr. Leonard. - Hello, O'Fallon.

- Are you in town? - Can I see you a minute?

Sure.

How's your old... I mean, how's your mother?

Herself as usual. She wants you.

- Me? - Here's a wire I got from her.

Aw, gee, Mr. Leonard, I ain't done nothing wrong.

Grabbing the old lady's purse was the last dirty job I ever pulled.

Why, me and the mob ain't even been on speaking terms...

...since she gave me a chance to go straight.

What's she want me for?

Where my mother's concerned, Frankie, it's a case of ours not to reason why.

Ours but to do and die.

Huh?

Well, anyway, I'm on my way.

Back on the iron horse, O'Fallon.

Aw, listen, coppers. This time I've got the key to the city.

Mrs. Hattie Leonard sent for me.

Yeah? What for?

Gee, I'm just as bewildered as you are.

Why don't you come up to the house and find out for both of us?

We'll be watching you, Frankie.

Hey, get a load of the cut of that back.

Very nice, very nice.

Not bad, not bad at all.

Say.

- Doing anything tonight, babe? - No.

No, I'm confined to quarters.

Yeah? What did she get you grabbing?

Her son.

A snatch.

That's tough.

Oh, but don't you worry, she won't cause you no trouble.

- No? - No.

She caught me lifting her pocketbook and wound up buying me a taxi cab.

Frankie?

Ready?

- Where to, lady? - My servants call me madam.

Gee, that don't hardly sound respectable.

You will drive to me in the street.

You will enter the dry-cleaning establishment of Mr. Zambrogio.

A certain Mr. Lug will arrive at promptly 11 o'clock.

You will if necessary beat him unmercifully, but do not let him take seven dollars.

Mrs. Leonard, I don't want nothing to do with no gangsters.

I didn't think you were chicken-hearted, Frankie.

Aw, gee, it ain't that, lady.

Madam.

I'll murder him, but it don't sound ethical.

Nevertheless, you will carry out my orders at once.

Come with me, Lila.

Have the car at the door in five minutes, Thorndyke.

Thorndyke?

I never did like the name O'Fallon.

Thorndyke. Another alias.

I can hardly wait for that most despicable Mr. Lug to arrive.

Last Wednesday I tried reason.

This Wednesday I'm using force.

It's the only language the underworld understands.

There he is now.

I hope Thorndyke won't be too rude with him.

What's... What's that?

The ambulance, of course. I arranged for it before I left.

- Nobody's selling tickets, lady. - I'm Mrs. Leonard!

Alright, stand back.

Thorndyke!

It was a complete surprise to me too, madam.

Stand back.

Alright now, break it up.

Come on, break it up.

A most disgraceful exhibition, Thorndyke.

Where did he strike you?

Right behind the cash register.

I'm afraid you're not entirely adequate.

Oh, please, madam, give me another crack at him.

All I ask for is brass knuckles.

I wonder how one goes about aquiring henchmen.

- You mean a mob? - I believe that's what you call it.

It's a cinch if you got connections.

- Say, madam, you ain't taking out... - Thorndyke, get me a mob.

Oh, madam, please don't make me do it.

I should have took the rap instead of letting you buy me a taxi.

And while you're about it, order me half a dozen machine guns and an armored car.

Look, Mr. District Attorney, I know you guys have tabbed me.

So when the old dame asked me to get her a mob,

six coffee grinders and a tank, I says okay.

But I beat it right down here to see you.

What do you want me to do? I'd like to see the old battle-ax run them all out of town.

Couldn't you just please put her in the can? Only for a little while.

Just long enough for me to take a powder.

O'Fallon, I want you back in my office tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock.

All right, gentlemen.

- I gotta see my lawyer. - What are you pulling us in for?

- You got nothing on me! - You ain't gonna push me around!

- What's the charges? - I ain't talkin', see?

We've been framed.

And if I did do anything, you can't prove it. I got a witness.

Keep your shirts on, boys. You're all in the clear.

Oh, yeah?

It must be a lot of trouble for you men to report to the probation officer every week.

I should say it is.

How would you like to wash yourselves up with the law once and for all?

- Sounds okay to me. - Wait a minute!

What have we got to do?

I want to swear you in as special deputies.

- What? You want us to be cops? - You mean turning copper?

- That's right. - Oh, no, none of that.

You'll be assigned to Mrs. Hattie Leonard and take your orders from her.

Nobody knows you're actually members of the Police Department.

Not even Mrs. Leonard.

How about it?

- I, um... I think we'd better talk it over. - Good idea.

Make it snappy.

Do you solemnly swear to support the Constitution of the United States...

...and the constitution of the State?

- You, what are you winking about? - I ain't winking.

Oh, that's an affliction he got from the big stick game.

It better be.

And faithfully discharge the duty of Deputy Sheriff...

...according to the best of your ability?

I do.

Pin the badges on them.

She's taken up crime.

Now, now, you're just making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Mother usually knows what she's doing, and as long as you love me.

I must, dear, to last this long.

Well, then that's all that matters, and there's nothing to worry about.

Remember. The hand is quicker than the eyes.

Freddie, they've come for her.

They're going to take her for a ride.

- What do you want? - I'm Fred Leonard.

- So what? - Beat it, beat it.

Look here, I'm...

What are you hanging around here for you anyhow?

- Who's the moll? - Who are you?

What's it to you?

- Get out of this house! - Take it easy, buddy.

If you don't leave this house at once, I'm going to call the police.

He's going to call the cops.

- I certainly am! - Sit down!

- Hey! - What's the matter?

- Oh, wise guy, eh? - Don't you dare, you!

Lila, keep out of this!

Frederick!

Frederick!

I don't think this is very hospitable of you, these gentlemen are my guests.

- Excuse me, I didn't know. - That's all right, pal, skip it.

I didn't expect you home until next week. I'd like you to meet my friends.

Gentlemen, this is my son Frederick.

- Frederick, this is Bert the Beetle. - Howdy.

- Big Time Tim. - How do you do?

- Mr. Brains Logan. - Gotcha.

- Blinky Mack. - Hi.

- And the Canary. - Hiya.

Oh, and I almost forgot, his fianc�e, Miss Thorne.

Charmed.

- Likewise. - Hello.

They're staying with us for a while.

Come, gentlemen. Brewster will show you to your rooms.

See you later, huh?

I wouldn't be a bit surprised if I wake up dead tomorrow morning.

Hey, Junior, pour it in.

What are you doing that for?

It clears me head out. But it makes me eyes water.

- Yeah? - Did you ever smell it?

- No. - Try it.

What are you trying to do, blind me?

That reminds me of One-Eyed Tom,

the night they threw him in a barrel of concrete and he ain't been heard from since.

And it's the truth.

- You and me, lady, we both eat like boys. - Yeah, vultures.

Hey, that ketchup costs 20c a bottle.

And it's worth it too.

- Missed it again. - Slide the grease, lady!

The grease, lady, the grease! That's the grease.

It's the butter, lady.

One minute, gentlemen, if you'll just take your time.

- Oh, no you don't! - Have I done anything wrong, sir?

Never sneak up on me that way! I don't like it!

- It gets me kind of excited. - Very good, sir.

- I bet you a fin I'll do it this time. - Bet you five you don't.

- I did it! - He did it, he did it!

Well, what's the matter with her?

Oh, don't panic, keep on eating.

- Lila, dear... - I'm going home.

Please don't be...

Freddie, I may be descended from gorillas but I don't have to know them socially.

They won't be here long. I'm going to tell Mother a thing or two right away.

Shall I serve you in your room, Miss Thorne?

I couldn't eat a thing. Brewster, where's Mrs. Leonard?

I don't know, Miss Thorne, she left early with Thorndyke.

- Lila! - I'll talk to her right now.

Lila!

- Mother, what's the matter? - Good morning, children.

Bullet-proof. Does ninety in seconds. Watch this.

Step on her, Thorndyke.

- Mother, what in the world? - Just a snappy little number I picked up.

Look at this.

No, no, that there, that there!

If the smoke don't get them, the tacks will.

Mother, don't you think we ought to talk about all this?

Of course we should, Frederick, but I'm frightfully busy right now.

You run along and mind the bank for me.

We'll have a delightful heart-to-heart chat directly after dinner.

Come along, Thorndyke.

Well, you certainly told her a thing or two.

After all, Lila, this may all be a harmless fancy.

Take a peek at those harmless fancies in the back.

- This is awful! - But, Freddie, you said you'd speak to her.

I know I did, Lila, but you can't speak to Mother just like that.

Now look, dear. Let me think about this for a while.

I'll find some way to make her stop doing what ever she's doing.

- Just give me a little time. - Well, I suppose I'll have to.

But I warn you, I will not marry into a family with a record.

What do you think that picture's worth?

Oh, about seven and a half bucks.

Don't be a chump, the paint alone oughta be worth fifty smackers

Hey, you think that's a picture? Get a load of the ventriloquist here.

- Good morning, gentlemen. - Good morning, Mrs. Leonard.

Sit down. Sit down.

Thorndyke has explained the financial arrangements.

I trust it will be satisfactory.

Sure, lady, but what are we getting paid for?

- There's a racket in this city. - We heard rumors.

I'm going to stop it.

And you're going to help me.

What kind of a racket? Who's running it?

A certain Mr. Lug.

Harry the Lug?

It ain't him, lady. He's collecting for somebody else.

- Who? - We'll tail him and find out.

- Tail him? - He means follow him, madam.

- Then what? - We'll call the cops.

No, I'm afraid we can't do that. That's why I hired you.

- Okay, so first we call the bluff. - I peg your pardon?

Crash the game.

- Then we tell them we're muscling in. - Muscling in?

Moving in on their territory.

We'll give him 24 hours to take it on the lam.

- On the lam? - Make themselves scarce.

Very well, gentlemen. We shall...

...tail the lug.

Come along.

- What's the matter with you? - I don't know,

I got a funny feeling all day like I've been tailed.

- Here. - An old lady with a mob?

Okay, boss, we'll look into the matter.

- Okay, where do we locate her? - Right here.

That's her. The looney. The one I was telling you about.

Yes, the shipments will be made as usual.

Goodbye.

- You are Mr. Watson? - That's right.

- What can I do for you? - I'm a peace-loving woman.

I think it only fair before I adopt more drastic measures,

to give you a chance to stop these rackets and find some honest means of employment.

Ain't she crazy?

I'm sorry you don't like the way I run my business, lady.

Funny none of my clients make complaints.

Don't quibble, Mr. Watson, it's either yes or no.

Lady, you're asking me to give up my career.

Very well. I gave you your chance.

Don't nobody move!

Now, take a tip, lady, and throw those stumblebums back in the ashcan.

And you... Well, you'd better go back to your knitting.

Mr. Watson, I am taking over.

I am...

...muscling in.

I give you exactly twenty-four hours to take it on the...

...skidoo.

I am practically on a train.

If I catch you in this vicinity tomorrow,

Yes?

I'll blow your head off!

Haven't we overlooked something? Suppose they don't take it on the lam?

- We gotta start shooting. - Isn't that a little primitive?

I got it. We hijack him!

Everytime one of those monkeys collects seven smackers, we take it away from him.

That's a lot of nickels. She gets half and the rest of us share and share alike.

Nix. We give it back to the merchants.

That really wasn't worthy of you, Brains.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot we were doing this on the tough.

High jinksing seems to be an excelent solution.

Especially since I'm sure they won't be expecting us.

Gentlemen, we shall catch them with their coats down.

Aaron Aardvark. 4-4-3...

Bell Street.

443 Bell Street.

Mr. Aardvark, Mr. Aardvark.

There he is! There's the lug!

Remember, lay off! He's for me!

Stun him!

Harry the Lug, your time has come.

Mr. Zambrogio, here are your seven dollars.

Grazie.

Brewster! Brewster!

More hot water, Brewster!

Oh!

Marge... Marge...

Why did you run out on me, Marge?

Ooohhh!

Aw, gee, madam, I'd have got them like I told you.

I was just gonna be victorious when some rat sneaked up and struck me from behind.

I'm all tied up in knots, maybe I'm gonna stay that way.

- Nonsense, take off your shirt. - I can't!

Ow!

Lila, the liniment, please.

- Oh, Marge, Marge... - Oohhh!

Thank you.

That's good.

Not there, not there... A little lower, madam.

Now just a little bit to the right.

Ah, there... You got it, you got it.

That's the spot.

Marge. Oh, Marge.

Lady, lady, I think he's got brain fever.

Who, him? That's impossible.

Lila, there's a thermometer on the table. Take his temperature!

Gee, madam, that's heavenly.

When are you coming back to me?

- Open your mouth. - Marge!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

What happened?

Mrs. Leonard! I'm leaving!

Goodbye!

- Lila, where are you going? - Home.

I've been packed for days.

Freddie, if you can't handle an old lady, you certainly couldn't manage me.

Lady! There's a mob out there!

- Let them in, Brewster. - Yes, madam.

- What's this? - My two-weeks notice, madam.

We wanna talk to Mrs. Leonard!

Who should I say is calling?

Never mind!

Mr. Zambrogio, I'm so glad to see you.

I don't believe I know all your friends.

Oh, we represent the cleaners and dyers of Macklen City. We demand...

- Tea, Brewster. - Yes, madam.

We don't wanna tea, Mrs. Leonard lady, we wanna talk!

Every fixture's smashed in my place.

My kid's got convulsions and my wife ain't even...

Thirty-four cash customers canceled their accounts.

First time I've missed a delivery in fourteen years.

All my windows smashed and everything upside down.

Mrs. Leonard lady, it's gotta stop!

You are so right, Mr. Zambrogio. I will fight this through if it takes...

No, no, no, Mrs. Leonard lady, it's you! You gotta stop!

Mrs. Leonard lady, please, we wanna pay the seven dollars.

You gotta lay off of Watson.

Please, you gotta quit, or we all gonna be bankrupt.

Give us a break, lady.

Just a fair chance so we make a couple of dollars so we can feed our kids.

That's all we want.

Please, gentlemen, please.

I've listened to you, now will you listen to me?

First I'm very sorry that your shops have been damaged.

Please send me all bills.

You mean to say you're going to pay for all the damage?

Yes. Millions for defense but not one cent for tribute.

Well, that's very nice, Mrs. Leonard lady.

But I no worry no more about bills if I am laying in my coffin.

Since when have Americans been afraid to die?

- You are Americans? - Sure we are.

It says in the paper.

You ee that man? He was at Bull Run.

His father was at Valley Forge.

It wasn't easy being an American then. It isn't easy now.

It takes pride, and strength and courage.

The one thing a real American has never tolerated and never will tolerate...

...is a dictator.

Can't you see that's what Mr. Watson is trying to become?

Mr. Watson doesn't believe in your inalienable rights to life,

liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Mr. Watson doesn't want a government of the people, by the people or for the people.

Abraham Lincoln.

Don't let any Mr. Watson take our America away from us.

Don't let him frighten you into selling your birthright.

No matter what he says or what he does, don't surrender!

There's one thing I'd like you to do for me.

The next time one of his hired ruffians demands seven dollars,

Don't give it to him.

Take a beating if you must, but don't give it to him.

For one day I'd like you to really be Americans...

...and say give me liberty or give me death.

- Perhaps we can, Ray. - We'll tell them.

- Nobody gonna push us around. - This is a free country.

- We're with you, Mrs. Leonard. - We'll fight him to a finish.

Three cheers for Mrs. Leonard!

- That oughta hold them for a while. - Yeah.

Brewster, I thought I ordered tea.

Immediately, madam.

Hey, come out of there, what are you afraid of?

I'm not afraid, I'm just careful.

Mother, this must stop! You'll get these people killed!

And if you don't put an end to this whole stupid business at once,

for your own sake I'll have to take you to have a sanity test!

Why...

You'll do nothing of the sort, Freddie, she's absolutely right!

Thank you, my dear.

But Lila, a few minutes ago you...

A few minutes ago I didn't know what a bad American I was.

But I'm right with you, Mrs. Leonard.

I don't know if my mother's crazy, but if she is, you're catching it from her.

And as far as I'm concerned you can both go and jump in the lake.

I'm a little disappointed in Frederick. Well, what do we do now?

- Now we gotta start shooting. - Yeah.

- That's just what I'm gonna do! - We'll blow 'em up.

You'll do nothing of the sort. Lila, help me collect the gentlemen's firing arms.

Gats, I mean.

Oh, gee, lady, I feel kinda naked.

Now, gentlemen, were any of you ever in a racket?

I was.

The beggars' and apple women's protector.

Think hard, Thorndyke, what made you go out of business?

We folded when they arrested the big shots.

- Mr. Watson you mean? - Oh, no, Watson's only a stooge.

Just like Harry the Lug.

I mean the guy that was protecting us.

- Handcuffing the cops. - It's always the higher-up.

Then Mr. Watson would know who he was.

Sure, but he's too smart to spill it.

Of course, of course.

But one would hardly call Mr. Lug a mental giant.

That's him, that's the guy, that's the snake we want.

Would you mind, my dear, please, please, please, we have some business to discuss.

Yes, but if it's all the same to you, I'd like to stay.

Very well.

Mr. Lug.

I'm sorry I wasn't in when you called yesterday.

Sure, any friend of Joe's is a friend of mine.

- How about tonight? - Tonight? Why, yes...

I wouldn't appear too anxious.

Joe said you were a fast worker.

Take it easy, big boy, don't rush me now.

You know you'll last longer.

You're superb, my dear.

Well, that's the way I am.

You sound like the McCoy, so I'm for you.

Come on, meet me tonight at the Black Kitten.

I'll pay the taxi.

Joe said you were a sport.

Well, sugar, if I get too lonesome, I might drop over.

So long now.

How did I do?

My dear, I'm proud of you.

You're amazing.

Amazing!

- Joe really picks 'em. - Joe who?

- Who cares? I'll be in the barber shop.

He wants me to meet him at the Black Kitten.

I know, I think I'll wear that slinky black satin.

I'll try it on right now.

- Now look here, Lila... - Good morning, Freddie.

- She's not going, I heard every word. - You shouldn't eavesdrop, Frederick.

Very clever.

Encouraging her to do something drastic just because we had a little lover's quarrel.

I? Don't be adolescent, Frederick. Lila's old enough to know what she's doing.

And you're old enough to be a grandmother.

I didn't care when you broke off my engagement to all those other girls.

But I really love this one.

Now, you stick to your rackets or... or...

I'll sue you for alienation of affection.

The front seems to be all right, turn around.

Oh, no, no, the back could be more, um... open.

Well, I could have worn a bathing suit.

Please, this is a very serious matter. Now let me see you walk.

- Walk? - Yes, walk.

You must get that certain... swing I think they call it.

Oh.

- How am I doing? - Not at all, not at all.

Like this.

Mrs. Leonard!

Brains, you stay here and keep a look out.

Hold my wallet. Give me a boost.

- There they are! - What are they doing?

Indulging in a little repartee.

- What, already? - I never would have believed it.

- Lady! Hey, lady! - Get me down.

Wait.

Frederick, he would! What ever will she do now?

There is Frederick now. She sees him over Mr. Lug's shoulder.

- Um... do you mind checking my rap? - Sure.

She's asking Mr. Lug to check her coat. He's getting up, he's leaving.

Good girl. Here comes Frederick.

Oh! I think he wants her to leave with him.

She won't leave.

They're arguing. Oh, Freddie's getting very difficult.

What if Mr. Lug should return?

She's beckoning to someone.

- Someone large and athletic-looking. - It's a bouncer

Lila points to Frederick. Freddie's arguing with him.

Frederick points to Lila. She shakes her head.

Oh, dear, what ever will she do?

Oh! - What happened?

That fellow just struck Frederick back. Frederick strikes him back.

I didn't think he had it in him.

He strikes him again.

He strikes him again.

Frederick's down.

He's up.

He's down.

He's up.

He's down.

Put me down.

What happened to Mr. Leonard?

Home with him!

- What happened? - Oh, just a couple of drunks.

Let's you and I get out of here.

Okay, toots.

Mr. Lug has come back. He's putting on her coat.

He offers her his arm. They're leaving.

Put me down.

Come on.

You're all wasting your time.

Why don't you mugs stop annoying me?

I give up.

The guy's an iron man.

We give him the hot foot to hold in the screws.

And he won't squeal who he's protecting.

How about us welcoming him turning a light in his eyes, blowing in his face...

...and yelling at him?

I have rarely seen such inefficiency.

We still ain't shown him the red-hot poker, that'll make him sing.

Mr. Lug, I'll give you one more chance to divulge the identity of your higher-up.

Right away, my dear.

Mr. Lug, I'll go to any lengths to find out who he is.

Lila. Here you are.

No... No, not that.

Anything but that. Please.

No... I'll talk! I'll talk!

It's Jones, Mayor Jones!

Johnny Jones?

I can hardly believe it.

Mr. Lug... if you're lying...

No, I'm telling the truth, I swear I am!

You mustn't breathe a word of this to anyone.

I'll take care of this in my own way. Lila, come to the library with me.

Say, do you really think she'd have gone through with it?

Sure, that old lady's got a vicious streak in her.

- I just crawled up the coal shute. - How very interesting.

- I had to tell her. - You did?

- Who? - The looney. Old Mrs. Leonard.

She snatched me!

She kept me down in the cellar when she sweated it out of me about you.

Mrs. Leonard, the mayor's busy.

Hello! Hello, JJ!

Oh, good morning, Hattie...

Don't you good morning me, Johnny Jones, sign this.

- Sign what? - Your resignation.

What... still the same old loveable Hattie.

- Why should I... - Because you're the higher-up.

You're the man behind these rackets.

- I am? Now, what... - Never mind, you sign that resignation...

...or I'll tell what I know on every street corner in the city.

See here, Hattie. Whom do you think the public will believe?

Me, who's been mayor of this town for 20 years,

or you, a meddlesome old hag?

You'll find out soon enough. I'll shout what I know from the housetops.

Johnny Jones, I'll see you behind prison bars!

- Get a load of this. - What is it?

Do you mean to say they put the old lady in the can?

- Why this whole thing is unconstitutional! - What are you excited about?

Excited, who's excited, I'm not excited.

- Oh, sit down. - Hey, we gotta do something.

Come on, let's get going.

You've got ten minutes.

Some people to see you.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

It's nice of you to drop in.

You see, madam, crime don't never pay.

Me and the boys are all broke up about this, lady.

With good behaviour you oughta get off with 25 years.

Come, come, it's always darkest before dawn.

You tell her, brains, I can't.

We were talking to the District Attorney and... Mrs. Leonard you ain't got a chance.

You didn't tell him about... you know who.

I'm saving that.

Well, we got desperate to tell you the truth and we spilled it off.

- What did he say? - He knew it all the time...

...but he couldn't do anything without evidence.

Evidence?

Gentlemen... You've got to get me out of here.

You mean break?

We can't spring out of this joint.

Aw, gee, Mrs. Leonard, why don't you pay your debt to society and go straight?

Listen, you mugs, I've been taking advice from you with rather unfortunate results.

From now on I'm doing the thinking, see?

- Okay, madam. - Boys.

This is what I want you to do.

Hurry up, hurry up, we gotta work fast.

Nix, nix, we're supposed to be working for the government.

Mrs. Leonard, here's a package your chauffeur left for you.

Just a minute, I'd better see what's in it.

Oh.

Thank you.

Hey, don't forget to come back.

What are we coming here for?

- I need a little cash. - I could you a little myself.

I'm nervous. I never robbed a bank before.

Grand larceny. Me life's ambition.

Remember, we're all on the honor system.

Hey, what's them bells?

Pay no attention to it.

What about the cops?

Mrs. Leonard! Ain't you supposed to be in jail, Mrs. Leonard?

Didn't you ever play hookey, Mr. Flanagan?

Gee, it's the cops.

- Tell him it was an accident. - I can't do that.

You do it or I'll discharge you.

- Flanagan. - Yes, Riley?

What's the matter, I thought I heard the bells ring.

It was an accident, Riley. I must have done it walking in my sleep.

With all her other troubles,

what would Mrs. Leonard say if she knew her nightwatchman was a sleepwalker.

Rest easy, Riley, I'll stay awake.

- I'll count sheep. - Make sure that's all you count.

Come on. Come on.

That's what I call finesse.

- The Promised Land. - What a spot for a can of nitro.

And us on the honor system.

Let me see. I need the telephone directory.

And a pencil. Have you a pencil, Mr. Flanagan?

Oh, no, no, I want an indelible pencil.

That will do very nicely.

Not a word of this to anyone, Mr. Flanagan.

- No, Mrs. Leonard. - When we go, lock the doors.

And then you can go back to sleep again.

Come, gentlemen.

This time we'll start with the Z's and go backwards.

Thorndyke, drive to Zambrogio's place.

Do I make myself clear, Mr. Zambrogio?

- Yes, Mrs. Leonard lady. - Then sign here, please, it's my receipt.

Bless you, Now hurry back to bed, you'll catch your death of cold.

All's clear, Thorndyke?

She no shoot you with a bullet, she kill you with pneumonia.

It's a dream. It's a dream.

Say, that looked like old Mrs. Leonard in that car.

- Ain't she in jail? - She's liable to be anywhere, come on.

Hey, the cops! Step on it, Thorndyke!

Hurry up, they're gaining on us.

There's nothing we can do. We gotta start shooting.

Put that down!

That ought to discourage them.

- Get some cover! - What are we gonna do now?

- It's curtains if they catch us. - Thorndyke, give them the tacks.

Not guilty, Your Honor, I've been framed.

So you see, my dear, everything is turning out beautifully so far.

I think you're swell, Mrs. Leonard.

Third cell to the left.

You got ten minutes.

Mother, don't worry, I'll do everything possible to clear you.

Frederick, I wouldn't do anything rash.

But kidnapping, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of.

Frederick, just between us, it's true.

- What? - I'm absolutely guilty.

Well, that doesn't make any difference. I don't care what you've done.

I'll get the finest lawyers in the country...

That's very loyal of you, Frederick, but couldn't you wait for a few days?

A few days? Not a minute, I'll have you bailed out of here by tonight.

Oh, but Frederick, you don't understand!

You see, I've done a lot of thinking here.

I see it all now. And I've committed a crime.

A crime for which I must pay the penalty.

Now... now, Mother, don't cry.

Thank you, my boy.

Thank you, my boy.

But don't you see, I must make amends for what I've done,

don't take that away from me.

Oh, Mother, I can't let you stay in jail for the rest of your life.

There's only one thing you can do to make my last few remaining years endurable.

If I only knew that you were happy. You and Lila.

I know you love each other and I drove you apart.

Please, for my sake, I want you to get married.

I'd like to do what you say, Mother, but... Lila and I...

Lila's mad about you, aren't you, Lila?

Certainly, I'm mad about you.

Well, then who was that man you were with at the Black Kitten?

- Why, he was... - He was the man I snatched.

I used Lila as a decoy.

You... you used Lila as a de...

Oh, what a fool I am. Lila, darling.

I'd like to be alone now, please.

Mother, don't worry. I'm going to do something about this right away.

Marry him right away and don't let him go out nights.

I'll drop you boys at the District Attorney's house.

Bring him to me.

Here we are, boys, hurry.

To the bank, Thorndyke.

We want to see the DA.

I'm sorry, sir, but he's retired for the night.

Oh, yeah?

What's the meaning of this?

On your feet, we're taking you to the boss. She needs you.

I can't do anything, she's got to stay in jail.

It's absolutely impossible to get her out.

That's a matter of opinion which we won't discuss now.

All we say is you're coming with us!

I'm up to my neck in this thing already. Now clear out, I'm tired.

Sorry, chief, but we got our orders.

You men are special deputies and take your orders from me!

- Then I resign! - Me too!

We quit. From now on we're working for the boss exclusive!

- What's going on here? - Come on, come on.

- You can't get away with this! - We're doing it.

- I'll get you men. - Come on, get going.

Mrs. Leonard!

Good evening, young men.

- Mayor Jones's safety deposit box. - You can't do that!

Wasn't you nabbing bad enough? This time you've gone too far!

Committing a crime under the very eyes of the District Attorney.

Oh, hush.

Give me a match.

Scram!

Lady, you got a real talent.

Here's your evidence, young man.

Johnny Jones's share of Mr. Watson's collections from the cleaners and dyers.

How do you know?

Because I marked each bill with an indelible pencil...

...before I gave it to the merchants to pay off with.

- See? - Yes, but will the tradesmen swear to that?

Here are their signatures acknowledging receipt of the money.

Great! This is as good as an affidavit. I'll get right to work.

It's all right, boys. A couple of you come with me.

The rest of you go out and pull in the watching mob.

Don't let anybody countermand my orders.

That's all.

Now for the big shot!

Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

- Arrest that man! - Mother!

What does this mean?

Johnny Jones, I always said you'd come to no good end.

I demand an explanation!

We've got you dead to rights, JJ.

Here's a warrant arresting you for conspiracy,

extorsion and everything else in the book.

Oh... you were being married.

And in my bridal veil.

I clean it up for her just like new.

- How much did you charge them? - Oh, the old price, $1,75.

Come along, Your Honor.

Johnny Jones, you come right back here and finish what you were doing!

Where was I?

I was just about to take this man as my lawful wedded husband.

And I do.

Go ahead, Johnny.

I pronounce you man and wife.

Wait a minute!

You're supposed to be in jail, at least temporarily.

You are quite right.

I owe it to your children.

Their grandmother should not be a fugitive from justice.

Thorndyke, to the jail.

Don't worry, children I'll beat this rap.

- Subtitles - Lu�s Filipe Bernardes