Original subtitles

Thunderstrike, eh?

How long's this been going on? She hasn't had a thing yesterday or today.

Send her meals up to her regularly?

Yes, sir. Well, why don't you jam it down her throat?

Well, it's not as simple as all that, Mr. Allen. Now, I'll talk to her myself.

Have some food brought up to her.

Yes, sir.

I'm not going to eat a thing until you let me off this boat. Oh, come now,

Ellie. You know I'll have my way. Not this time you won't.

I'm already married to him. But you're never going to live under the same roof

with him. Now, I'll see to that.

Can't you get it through your head that King Wesley and I are married?

Definitely, legally, actually married.

It's over. It's finished. There's nothing you can do about it. I'm over

21, and so is he.

Would it interest you to know that while you've been on board, I've been making

arrangements to have your marriage annulled?

Annulled. I'll have something to say about that, and so will King.

I expect him to.

Ah, the victuals. Come in. Come in. I thought I told you not to bring any food

in here. Now, wait a minute. This isn't for you.

Put it right down here.

So subtle.

Strategy, my dear.

I suppose it was strategy sending those gorillas down to drag me away from that

justice of the peace.

Your idea of strategy is to use a lead pipe.

I've won a lot of arguments with a lead pipe. Outside of the fact that you don't

like him, you haven't got a thing against King.

He's a fake, Ellie.

He's one of the best flyers in the country. He's no good and you know it.

You married him only because I told you not to. You've been telling me what not

to do ever since I can remember.

That's because you've always been a stubborn idiot.

I come from a long line of stubborn idiots. Well, don't shout so.

You may work up an appetite. I'll shout if I want to. I'll scream if I want to.

All right, scream.

If you don't let me off this boat, I'll break every piece of furniture in this

room. Here, have a nice piece of juicy steak.

You don't have to eat it. Just smell it. It's a poem.

She's too smart for you.

Send a wireless to the Lovington Detective Agency.

Daughter escaped again. Watch all roads, airports, and railway stations in Miami.

This is history in the making. What?

There's a man biting a dog in it. And a blood pee, old boy. I can't stand this

any longer.

And a pig's eye, you will. And a pig's eye.

Hey, listen, monkey face. When you fired me, you fired the best news hound in

your filthy scandal she'd ever had.

Say, listen, you wouldn't know a newspaper story if it reached up and

kicked you in the pants. Yeah, sure, sure. I got all your copy. Why didn't

you tell me you were going to write it in Greek? I'd start a new department.

That was free verse, you gas house palooka.

It cost this paper a gob of dough, and I'm here to tell you it's not gonna cost

us anymore.

Mr. Gordon, did you know he reversed the charge on that call? What?

Why, you... Say, listen, you.

When you get back to New York, you keep far away from this office. You're fired.

You don't work here anymore, and you never will.

Did we tell that baby? It didn't mean any more of his lip, huh? Well, you tell

him to tell him, Pete.

I guess he knows now how I feel about his job, huh? I'll bet he does, too.

Is, uh, my chariot ready?

Oh, your chariot awaiteth without it, almighty king.

Wait on, sir.

Wait for the king.

I'll have a seat.

Hey, wait a minute!

What do you think you're doing?

Huh? The papers, the papers. What's the idea of throwing them out? Oh, the

papers? You know, it's a long story, my friend. I never did like the idea of

sitting on newspapers.

I did it once and all the headlines came over my white pants.

On the level it actually happened.

Nobody bought a paper that day. They just followed me around over town and

read the news off the seat of my pants.

Oh, fresh guy, huh?

What you need's a good sock on the nose.

Now, listen, partner.

You may not like my nose, but I do.

I always wear it out in the open, where if anybody wants to take a sock at it,

they can do it.

Oh, yeah?

Now, that's a brilliant answer.

Why didn't I think of it? Our conversation could have been over long

ago. Oh, yeah?

If you keep that up, we're not going to get anywhere.

Oh, yeah?

You got me.

Yeah!

Excuse me, lady, but that upon which you sit is mine.

I beg your pardon?

Now, listen, I put up a stiff fight for that seat, so if it's just the same to

you... Scram.

Driver, are these seats reserved?

No, first come, first served.

Thank you. Hey, driver, these seats accommodate two people, don't they?

Well, maybe they do and maybe they don't. Thank you.

Move over.

This is a maybe they do.

If you'd asked me real nice, I might put that bag up there for you.

Next time you drop in, bring your folks.

Red hot pocket.

Right around there, boys. Yes, sir. Red hot pocket. Hot dog.

Folks, you can't enjoy the ride unless you put something in your stomach.

He got away.

I suddenly found myself in the middle of the brush and not a sign of the skunk.

I don't know what you're raving about, young man. And furthermore, I'm not

interested.

Well,

maybe you'll be interested to know your bag's gone.

Oh, my heavens, it's gone.

I knew you'd get your own eventually.

Oh,

what am I going to do now? Don't tell me your ticket was in it.

No, I got that all right, but not my money.

All I have here is $4. You can wire home for some more money when you get to

Jacksonville. No, I can't.

Yes, yes, I guess I will. I'll tell the driver about your bag. No, thank you.

I'd rather you didn't.

Don't be a fool. You've lost your bag. The company ought to make good.

What's your name? I don't want it reported.

That's ridiculous.

The company will take care of it. Can you understand English?

Would you please keep out of my affairs?

I want to be left alone.

You ungrateful brat.

All aboard!

All aboard!

Jacksonville, 30 minutes for breakfast, folks.

Only 30 minutes for breakfast now.

Just 30 minutes, that's all.

No more.

I'm so sorry.

Silly, isn't it?

Well, everybody's gone.

Oh, thank you very much.

We're in Jacksonville, aren't we?

Yes.

That was foolish of me.

Well, why didn't you shove me away?

Oh, I hated to wake you up.

You look kind of pretty asleep.

How about some breakfast?

Oh, no, no. No, thank you.

No, I'm going to the Windsor Hotel.

Windsor? You'll never make it in time. We leave in half an hour.

Oh, no.

No, they'll wait for me.

Driver, I'm going to be a few minutes late. Be sure to wait for me.

Oh, yeah?

Yes.

I left about 20 minutes ago.

Oh, but that's ridiculous.

I was on that bus. I told them to wait.

I'm sorry, miss, but it's gone.

Good morning.

Remember me? I'm the fellow you slept on last night.

Seems to me I've already thanked you for that.

What time's the next bus?

8 o'clock tonight.

8 o'clock?

That's 12 hours.

I'm sorry, miss.

What's the matter?

Wouldn't the old meanies wait for you?

What are you so excited about? You missed it too.

Yeah, I missed it too.

Don't tell me you did it on my account.

I hope you haven't any idea that what happened last night is... Now look here,

young man. You needn't concern yourself about me. I can take care of myself.

You're doing a pretty sloppy job.

Here's your ticket.

My ticket?

I found it on the seat.

Thank you, Iris.

It must have fallen out of my purse.

You'll never get away with it, Miss Andrews.

What are you talking about?

I said you'd never get away with it. Your father will stop you before you get

halfway to New York.

You must have me confused with someone else. Quit kidding. It's all over the

front page.

You know, I've always been curious to know what kind of a girl would marry a

front-page aviator like King Wesley.

Take my advice. Grab the next bus back to Miami.

That guy's a boner.

I didn't ask for your advice.

That's right.

You didn't.

You're not going to notify my father, are you?

What for?

He probably could get some money out of him.

I never thought of that.

Listen, if you promise not to do it, I'll pay you. I'll pay you as much as he

will. You won't gain anything by giving me away as long as I'm willing to make

it worth your while.

I've got to get to New York without being stopped.

It's terribly important to me.

I'd pay you now, only the only thing I had when I jumped off the yacht was a

wristwatch, and I had to pawn that to get these clothes.

But I'll give you my address, and you can get in touch with me the minute you

get to New York. Never mind.

You know, I had you pegged right from the jump.

Just a spoiled brat of a rich father.

The only way you get anything is to buy it, isn't it?

You're in a jam, and all you can think of is your money.

It never fails, does it?

Ever hear of the word humility?

No, you wouldn't.

I guess it never occurred to you to just say, please, mister, I'm in trouble.

Will you help me?

No. Let it bring you down off your high horse for a minute. Let me tell you

something. Maybe it'll take a load off your mind.

You don't have to worry about me.

I'm not interested in your money or your problem. You, King Wesley, your father,

you're all a lot of hooey to me.

You send telegrams here?

I'm just fine, thanks. And how are you?

To Joe Gordon, care of New York mail, New York.

Am I laughing?

The biggest scoop of the year just dropped in my lap. I know where Ellen

Andrews is. No. Do you really?

Go on, go on. Send a telegram.

How would you like to have the story, you big tub of, um, of... Mush, mush.

Tub of mush.

Well, try and get it. What I said about never writing another line for you still

goes. Are you burning?

Peter Warren. That'll be $2.60.

Send a collect. Collect?

Collect.

Hi, sister.

All alone?

My name's Shapely. Might as well get acquainted. It's going to be a long

trip. Gets tiresome later on, especially for somebody like you.

You look like you've got class.

Yes, sir. With a capital K.

And I'm the guy that knows class when he sees it. Believe you me.

Ask any of the boys. They'll tell you.

Shapely sure knows how to pick them.

Yes, sir.

Shapely's a name, and that's the way I like them.

You made no mistake sitting next to me. Just between us, the kind of mugs you

meet on a hop like this ain't nothing to write home to the wife about.

You gotta be awful careful who you hit it up with, is what I always say, and

you can't be too particular neither.

What's the matter, sister? You ain't saying much.

Seems to me you're doing excellently without any assistance.

That's pretty good.

Seems to me you're doing excellently without any assistance.

Well, shut my big nasty mouth.

Looks like you're one up on me.

You know, there's nothing I like better than to meet a high-class mama that can

snap back at you.

Because the colder they are, the hotter they get. That's what I always say.

Yes, sir.

When a cold mama gets hot, boy, how she sizzles.

Now, you're just my type.

Believe me, sister, I could go for you in a big way.

Put on the side shapely, they call me, with accent on the fun. Believe you me.

Believe you me? You bore me to distraction.

Looks like you're two up on me now.

Hey, you.

Huh?

There's a seat over there for you.

What's the idea?

I'd like to sit next to my wife, if you don't mind.

Your wife?

Yeah.

Come on, come on.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Excuse me, you know.

I was just, um, sure. Excuse me, miss. I just, uh, wanted to make things

pleasant. Excuse me.

I, uh, mean anything, uh...

No offense, Doc. No, no.

If you promise not to snap my head off, I'd like to thank you. Forget it.

I didn't do it for you.

This voice gets on my nerves.

What'd you do all day?

Ran in and out of doorways, trying to keep out of the rain.

Clothes are all wet.

Here.

You're as helpless as a baby.

Thank you.

Here you are, folks.

Cigars, cigarettes, chewing gum, candy, magazines.

Here, boy.

Yes, ma'am. A box of chocolates, please. Never mind, son. She doesn't want it.

Oh, but the lady said... Of course I do. Eat it. Eat it.

Well, you've got your nerve.

You had $4 last night.

How do you expect to get to New York at the rate you're going?

That's none of your business.

You're on a budget from now on.

Good evening.

Hope you and your husband rest comfortable.

Come on, come on. What are you going to do? Stay out there?

What are these Armenians?

Yes, it's a gift.

I just had the unpleasant sensation of hearing you referred to as my husband.

Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you about that. I registered as Mr. and Mrs.

Oh, you did?

Well,

what am I expected to do? Meet for joy?

Well, I kind of half expected you to thank me.

Your ego is absolutely colossal. Yes, not bad.

How's yours?

Compared to you, my friend Shapley's an amateur.

Just whatever gave you any idea I'd stand for this.

Hey, now, wait a minute.

Let's get this straightened out right now.

If you're nursing any silly notion that I'm interested in you, forget it. You're

just a headline to me.

A headline?

You're not a newspaper man, are you?

Chalk up one for your side.

Now, listen.

You want to get to King Wesley, don't you?

All right.

I'm here to help you.

What I want is your story.

Exclusive. That day-to-day account.

All about your mad fight to happiness.

I need that story. Just between you and me, I've got to have it.

Well, isn't that just too cute?

There's a brain behind that face of yours, isn't there?

You've got everything nicely figured out for yourself.

Including this.

This?

Well, that's a matter of simple mathematics.

These cabins cost two bucks a night.

And I'm very sorry to inform you, wifey dear, that the family purse won't stand

for our having separate establishments.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. You've been very kind.

Oh, it's all right with me. Go on out in the storm.

But I'm going to follow you, see?

Yeah.

And if you get tucked, I'll just have to turn you over to your old man.

Right now.

Sammy, now that's my whole plot in a nutshell.

A simple story for simple people.

If you hang yourself, I'll see that you get to King Wesley.

If not, I'll just have to spill the beans to Papa.

Now, which of these pets do you prefer?

This one?

That?

I suppose makes everything quite all right.

Well, this?

Well, I like privacy when I retire. Yes, I'm very delicate in that respect.

Prying eyes annoy me.

Behold the walls of Jericho.

Maybe not as thick as the ones that Joshua blew down with his trumpet, but a

lot safer.

You see, I have no trumpet.

Now, just to show you my heart's in the right place, I'll give you my best pair

of pajamas.

Do you mind joining the Israelites?

You don't want to join the Israelites?

All right.

Perhaps you're interested in how a man undresses.

You know, there's a funny thing about that. Quite a study in psychology.

No two men do it alike.

You know, I once knew a man who kept his hat on until he was completely

undressed. Yeah, now, he made a picture.

Years later, his secret came out.

You are to pay.

Yeah. No, I have a method all my own.

If you'll notice, the coat came first, then the tie, then the shirt.

Now, according to Hoyle, after that, the pants should be next.

There's where I'm different.

I go for the shoes next.

First the right, then the left.

After that, it's every man for himself.

Still with me, Brett?

Ah, don't be a sucker.

A good night's rest will do you a lot of good.

Besides, you got nothing to worry about.

The walls of Jericho will protect you from the big bad wolf.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? The big bad wolf. The big bad wolf.

She's afraid of the big bad wolf. Tra-la-la-la-la.

Would you mind, please, putting out the light?

No, no, no.

I wish you'd take those things off the walls of Jericho.

Oh, Jesus.

By the way, what's your name?

What's that?

Who are you?

Who, me?

I'm the whippoorwill that cries in the night.

I'm the soft morning breeze that caresses your lovely face.

You've got a name, haven't you?

Yeah, I got a name.

Peter Warren.

Peter Warren.

I don't like it.

Don't let it bother you. You're giving it back to me in the morning.

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Warren.

The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Warren.

Another message, sir. Well, what is it? What is it? What is it? It's from

Charleston, Mr. Andrews.

Checking every northbound train. Also assigned 20 operators to watch main

highways. No sign of your daughter yet. We'll continue to do everything

possible. Signed, Livington Detective Agency, Charleston. Yes, just the same

as all the others.

Yes, sir? I thought I made it clear I was in a hurry to get to New York. What

are we crawling for?

We've got a way open, sir. All right, step on it. Yes, sir.

Oh, I hope she's all right, sir.

All right? Of course she's all right.

What could happen to her?

Nothing, sir. Then shut up about it.

What's the matter? Are you not up yet?

What time is it? Eight o'clock.

Here.

Oh, it's a toothbrush.

Thanks.

My dress.

You had it pressed.

Come on, come on. Breakfast will be ready here in no time. Why, you sweet

thing, where'd you get it pressed?

Say, listen, Brad, I'm going to count ten. If you're not out of that bed by

then, I'm coming over there and drag you out myself.

One, two, three.

Can't go out like this. Like what?

Like this. I have no room.

Here.

Use mine.

Oh, thanks.

Come on. Make it stand. Wait. It's not my fault. You got the sleeve.

Here. You're my puppet.

Thanks.

Where'd you say the showers and things were?

Here. Here's the towel.

Thank you.

You're kind of little, aren't you?

Where's the shower?

I know your hair's cute like that. You should never comb it.

I'll find it myself.

Oh, I met some very interesting women at the shop. We got chatting about this and

that. You know how time flies.

Come on. Come on. Sit down.

My, my, my. Scrambled eggs.

Egg. One egg. One doughnut, black coffee.

That's your ration to lunch.

Any complaints?

No. No complaints.

I got me some cream for your coffee. I've been buying a whole pint.

You'll have to apologize to me, Mr. Warren. You'll never know how much I

appreciate all this.

What makes you so disgustingly cheerful this morning?

Must be the spring.

Yeah, I thought maybe Believe You Me told you a couple of his snappy stories.

Oh, no.

He apologized for last night. Said he didn't know we were married.

Just shows you how wrong a guy can be.

Donut. Thanks.

You think this whole business is silly, don't you? I mean, running away and

everything. No, no. Makes too good a story.

Yes, you do. You think I'm a fool and a spoiled brat.

Perhaps I am, although I don't see how I can be.

People who are spoiled are accustomed to having their own way. I never have. On

the contrary, I've always been told what to do and how to do it and when and with

whom.

Would you believe it?

This is the first time I've ever been alone with a man.

Yeah? No wonder I'm not panic-stricken.

You're doing all right.

Thanks.

You know, nurses, governesses, chaperones.

Even bodyguards. Oh, it's been a lot of fun. One consolation, you can never get

lonesome.

It has its moments. It's become a sort of game tried out with father's

detectives.

I did once. I actually went shopping without a bodyguard. Oh, swell. I felt

absolutely immoral.

But it didn't last long. They caught up with me in a department store.

I was so mad, I ran out the back way and jumped into the first car I saw.

Guess who was in it?

Santa Claus.

Gandy. King West. Wesley was in it.

Is that how you met him?

Mm-hmm.

We rode around all afternoon.

Father was frantic. By 6 o'clock, he was having all the rivers dragged.

Say, where'd you learn to dunk? In finishing school?

Oh, now, don't you start telling me I shouldn't dunk. Of course you shouldn't.

You don't know how to do it. Dunking's an art.

Don't let it soak so long.

A dip and... Flock in your mouth.

If you let it hang there too long, it'll get soft and fall off. It's all a matter

of timing.

I'll write a book about it.

Thanks, Professor.

Shit goes to show you, 20 millions and you don't know how to dunk.

I'd change places with a plumber's daughter any day.

How do I know who you are? I never saw you before.

You can't go around bothering my tenants. I tell you there's no girl by

that name here.

Besides, how do I know you, Detective?

Show him your credentials, ma'am.

What is it?

What's your name?

Are you addressing me?

Yeah, what's your name?

Hey, wait a minute.

That's my wife you're talking to.

What do you mean, come here?

What do you want, anyway?

We're looking for somebody.

Yeah, well, look your head off. Don't come busting in here. This isn't a

public park. I got news to take a sock at you. Take it easy, son. Take it easy.

These men are detectives, Mr. Martin. I don't care if they're the whole police

department. They can't come busting in here shooting questions at my wife. Now,

don't get so excited, Peter. The man just asked you several questions. Oh, is

that so? Say, how many times have I told you? I told you to stop butting in when

I'm having an argument. Well, you don't have to lose your temper.

You don't have to lose your temper.

That's what you said the other time, too, every time I tried to protect you.

The other night at the Elks' dance, when that big Swede made a pass at you. He

didn't make a pass at me. I told you a million times. Oh, no, I saw him. Kept

pawing you all over the dance floor.

But you see, we've got to check up on everybody.

who played a small town auditorium.

We'll call this with a great deception.

Oh, what about Cinderella or a real hot love story? Oh, no, no, that's too

mushy. Oh, I like mushy stuff.

Quit bawling! Quit bawling! You're just like a... Five minutes.

What? Your bus leaves in five minutes.

Oh, holy smoke, we're not even packed yet.

I'm beginning to believe that you fellas couldn't find your way home.

It's getting hotter and hotter. Stop.

Hope you're the same.

Collect. Yes. If you accept another one of these, you're fired. Yes, sir. And

that gives me a good idea for all of you.

I want action, Lovington. Action. We can't do the impossible, Mr. Andrews.

What I'm asking isn't impossible. My daughter is somewhere between here and

Miami. Now, I want her found. I put extra men on all along the way. That's

not enough.

Send in Clark and Brown.

You're sure she isn't with King Wesley? No.

He's been trailed 24 hours a day since this thing started.

He can't even get a phone call that we don't know about. I'm worried,

Lovington. After all, something might have happened to her. Oh, I don't think

so. Brown, I want you to make arrangements for a radio broadcast right

away. Coast-to-coast hookup. Offer a reward of $10,000 for any information

leading to her whereabouts. Yes, sir.

Clark, send the story to all the newspapers.

Some of the out-of-town papers may not have a picture of her. Here, wire this

to them.

I want the story to break right away. Yes, sir.

Say, buddy, like to take a look at my paper?

Traveling like this, you kind of lose track of what's going on in the world.

Take that story there, for instance.

If I was to see that dame, you know what I'd do?

No, what?

I'd go 50-50 with you.

Why? Because I don't believe in hogging it, see?

A bird that figures that way always ends up behind the eight ball.

That's what I always say.

What's on your mind?

Five G's or I crab the works.

Let's get away from this gang. Talk this thing over privately. I knew she wasn't

your wife all the time.

You know, lucky thing by running into you. Just the man I need. You made no

mistake. Believe you me. I can use a smart guy like you. Say, listen, when

you're talking old man Shapley, you're talking... You back again?

Huh?

A gat, a gat.

A rod.

Got any fireworks on you?

Why, no.

Well, it's all right. I got a couple of machine guns in my suitcase. I'll let

you have one of them.

You may have a little trouble up north, have to shoot it out with the cops.

But if you come through all right, those 5Gs are as good as in a bag, maybe more.

I'll have a talk with the killer, see if he takes care of you.

Killer? Yeah, yeah, the big boy, the boss of the outfit.

You're not kidnapping her, are you?

What else, stupid?

You don't think we're after that penny in every ward.

Ten thousand bucks?

Chicken feet.

Hey, listen.

We're holding that dame for a million smackers.

Say, say, I didn't know it was anything like this. You see, I got... What's the

matter? You getting yellow?

I'm a married man. I got a couple of kids. I can't afford to get up to...

Shh, shh, shh.

Pipe down your mug before I... What are you trying to do, tell the whole world

about it?

Now, listen.

You're into this thing and you're staying in, get me? You know too much.

I won't say anything. I'm just a woman. How do I know that?

I got a notion to plug you.

Why should I take a chance with you?

Trust me, mister, I'll keep a mouth shut. Yeah?

What's your name?

Oscar Shapley.

Where do you live?

Orange, New Jersey.

Got a couple of kids, huh?

Yes, sir, just babies.

A little golden-haired girl. You love them, don't you?

Yes, yes, I do.

Oh, you wouldn't...

You're not thinking of... You'll keep your trap shut, all right? Sure, sure,

sure, sure. If you don't... I'll keep up the trap shut. I will, I will, I will.

You ever hear of Bugs Dooley?

Bugs Dooley?

No. He was a nice guy, just like you, when he made a big mistake one day. A

little too talkative.

You know what happened to his kid? No. Well, I can't tell you, but when Bugs

heard about it, he blew his brains out.

Oh, gee, that's terrible.

Terrible. He had it coming to him, though. He talked too much.

I never talk. I never say a word. Word of honor.

Gee, I wouldn't want anything to happen to my kids. Okay.

Just remember that.

Now beat it.

Sure, mister.

Thanks. I always knew you guys were kind- Come on, come on. Scram.

Stay away from that bus.

Sure. Anything you say, mister.

You ain't gonna shoot me in the back, are you? If you don't beat it, I'm gone.

Come on, don't ask so many questions.

Well, why?

Poor old Shapley, you shouldn't have frightened him like that.

At the rate he's going, he's probably crossed two state lines by this time.

Say, why did we have to leave the bus?

Well, when Shapley stops running, he's going to start thinking, isn't he?

You know, I've been doing a little thinking myself.

The next town we come to, you better wire your father.

What's the matter? Are you weakening?

No. I was just thinking of you.

A starvation diet may not agree with you.

Did you give that child all your money?

I didn't give him anything. You were the big-hearted gal.

All the money I had was that ten spot.

So I've been thinking you better wire your father.

No, sir.

I started out for New York, and I'm going to get there if I have to starve

all the way.

Okay.

What is this strange power this man Wesley has over you women?

Here, take these.

Hold on, Phyllis.

Get up on that log. Huh? Get up on the log.

I

wish

you'd stop being playful. Oh, so sorry. Sorry.

You know, this is the first time in years I've ridden piggyback.

This isn't piggyback.

Of course it is. You're crazy.

I remember distinctly my father taking me for a piggyback ride.

And he carried you like this, I suppose? Yes.

Your father didn't know beans about piggyback rides.

My uncle, mother's brother, has four children, and I've seen them ride

piggyback. I bet there isn't a good piggyback rider in your whole family. I

never knew a rich man yet who could piggyback ride.

You're prejudiced.

You show me a good piggybacker, and I'll show you a real human.

Now, you take Abraham Lincoln, for instance, a natural-born piggybacker.

Where do you get off of that stuffed-shirt family of yours?

My father was a great piggybacker.

Here, hold this a minute.

Ow!

Ow! Thank you.

How long does this keep up? My feet are killing me.

This looks like the best spot.

We're not going to sleep out here, are we?

Well, how about you? But I'm going to give a fairly good imitation of it.

Peter.

What?

I'm awfully hungry.

Oh, just your imagination.

No, it isn't.

I'm hungry and scared.

You can't be hungry and scared both at the same time. Well, I am.

If you're scared, it scares the hunger out of you.

And not if you're more hungry than scared.

All right, you win.

Let's forget about it.

I can't forget it. I'm still hungry.

Holy smoke.

Why did I ever get mixed up with you?

If I had any sense, I'd be in New York for this time.

What about your story?

Taking a married woman back to her husband.

I turned out to be the prize sucker.

Your bed's all ready.

I'll get my clothes all wrinkled.

Then take them off.

What? All right, don't take them off. Do whatever you please, but shut up about

it.

You know, you're becoming awfully disagreeable lately.

You just snap my head off every time I open my mouth.

If being with me is so distasteful to you, you can leave.

You can leave any time you see fit.

Nobody's holding you here.

I can get along.

I want to try and find you something to eat. Oh, I know, but... Here, here, eat

your head off.

I don't want it now.

I thought you said you were hungry.

I was, but... But what?

Well, I... I was so scared, I was scared that... Holy jumping cactus.

You drive a guy crazy.

It's liable to get chilly before morning.

Better use this.

What are you thinking about?

A strange coincidence.

I was thinking of you.

Really? Yeah.

I was just wondering what makes dames like you so dizzy.

What did you say we're supposed to be doing?

Hitchhiking.

Oh.

Well, you've given me a very good example of the hiking.

Where does the hitching come in?

A little early yet. No cars out.

Well, if it's just the same to you, I'm going to sit right here and wait till

they come.

You got a toothpick?

What's the matter?

Got hay in my teeth.

No, I haven't got a toothpick. Here, I got a pen-eye, though.

You have to hold still.

Oh, be careful. All right.

Where is it?

In the middle. In the middle? All right, now hold still.

All right, there.

Get it?

Mm, thanks.

Hey, you should have swallowed that. You're not going to have any breakfast,

you know. Oh, you needn't rub it in.

What are you eating?

Carrots.

Raw? Mm-hmm.

No.

Why didn't you get me something I could eat? Oh, that's right. I forgot.

The idea of offering a raw carrot to an Andrew.

Hey, you don't think I'm going around panhandling for you, do you?

Better have one of these. Best thing in the world for you, carrots.

I hate the hard thing.

I wish you wouldn't talk so much. I would let a car get away.

So suppose nobody stops for us, huh?

They'll stop, all right. It's all a matter of knowing how to hail them.

Oh, and you're an expert, I suppose.

Expert? I'm going to write a book about it. Call it The Hitchhiker's Hail.

There's no end to your accomplishments, isn't there?

You think it's simple, huh? No, no.

Well, it is simple.

It's all in that old thumb, see?

Yeah. Now, some people do it like this.

Or like this.

All wrong. Never get anywhere.

Oh, the poor thing. Yeah, boy, but that old thumb never failed.

It's all a matter of how you do it, though.

Now, you take number one, for instance. That's a short, jerky movement like

this.

That shows independence.

You don't care whether they stop or not. You got money in your pocket, see?

Clever. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but number two, that's a little wider movement. Smile

goes with this one like this.

That means you got a brand-new story about the farmer's daughter.

Mm-mm.

You figured that out all by yourself. Nah, that's nothing.

Number three, that's a pit. Yeah, that's a pitiful one. You know, when you're

broke and hungry and everything looks black?

That's a long sweeping movement like this. Got to follow through, though.

Oh, that's amazing.

Yeah, but it's no good, though, if you haven't got a long pace to go with it.

Here comes the car.

Okay, now watch me. I'm going to use number one. Keep your eye on that thumb,

baby, and see what happens.

I still got my eye on the thumb.

Something must have gone wrong.

Try number two.

When you get to a hundred, wake me up.

I don't think I'll write that book after all.

Yeah, think of all the fun you had, though.

Do you mind if I try?

You?

Don't make me laugh.

Oh, you're such a smart aleck. Nobody knows anything but you.

I'll stop a car and I won't use my thumb.

What are you going to do?

It's a system on my own.

Aren't you going to give me a little credit?

What for?

Well, I've proved once and for all that the limb is mightier than the thumb.

Why don't you take off all your clothes? You're going to stop 40 cars.

Oh, I'll remember that. But we need 40 cars.

So you're just married, huh?

That's pretty good.

But if I was young, that's the way I'd spend my honeymoon.

Hitchhiking. Yes, sir.

It's hiking down the highway of love on a honeymoon.

It's hiking down...

Oh, I see. Young people in love are never hungry. No.

Young people in love are very seldom hungry.

Young people in love are very seldom hungry.

What were you going to do?

Gold dig that guy for a meal?

Sure I was. No fooling. I'm hungry.

Eat a carrot.

No.

I'm going in now. You do, and I'll break your neck.

Come on, let's get out of here, stretch our legs.

I'm sorry, I...

Well, that's all right.

I've been so worried. Come on, get in.

Look at your face. You've got a cut. Come on, come on, come on.

What happened?

Oh, just a road thief. Picks people up and then runs off with their things.

What a racket.

How'd you get in the car?

I gave him a black eye for it and had to tie him up to a tree.

in this thing.

Gotta start promoting something.

Better take the things out of the pocket with that coat.

That'll be good for ten gallons.

I haven't changed my mind, Wesley. I want you to understand that. I don't

like you, never have, never will.

Now, that's clear enough, isn't it? You've made that quite evident by your

threats of annulment.

Well, it hasn't worried me for a minute.

Ellie and I got married because we love each other.

She's proving it.

As far as I'm concerned, there's going to be no annulment.

I see.

You've got hold of a good thing, and you're going to hang on to it, eh?

All right. You win.

I guess I'll just have to get used to you.

I admit I'm licked, but it's only because I'm worried.

If I don't find her soon, I'll go crazy.

I might have been able to help if it hadn't been for you.

I've been watched so closely, I... Yes, yes, I know, I know.

Well, you can help now.

I've got a room full of reporters in there.

Now I want you to make a statement.

Say that we've talked things over and come to an understanding, and that if

she returns, I won't interfere with your marriage.

That's quite all right. Okay.

Well, I hope you and your wife spend a pleasant week with us. Yeah, yeah, so do

I. Thank you.

Good night.

Good night.

All right, Brett.

Any luck?

Yeah. He finally agreed to let us have a cabin.

What about the money?

Well, I talked him out of that idea. He thinks we're staying a week.

I'll have to think something up before morning. That's swell.

Yeah?

I'm glad you think so.

If you ask me, I think it's foolish.

I told you there's no use of our staying here tonight.

We can make New York in three hours.

I thought you were in such a hurry to get back.

Well, I... Well,

whoever heard of getting in at 3 o'clock in the morning?

Everybody would be asleep.

Okay.

Carly's number six.

There you go, trusting people again.

How many times did I tell you... But he looked like a nice, upright young

fellow, Ma.

Well, we're on the last lap.

Tomorrow morning, you'll be in the arms of your husband.

Yeah.

You'll have a great story, won't you?

Yeah.

Swell.

Well, he certainly outsmarted your father.

I guess you ought to be happy.

Am I going to see you in New York?

No.

Why not?

I don't make it a policy to run around with married women.

There's no harm in your coming to see us.

Not interested.

Won't I ever see you again?

What do you want to see me for? I've served my purpose. I brought you back to

King Wesley, didn't I? That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

Have you ever been in love, Peter?

Me?

Yes.

Haven't you ever thought about it at all?

It seems to me you could make some girl wonderfully happy.

Sure I have thought about it.

Who hasn't?

If I could ever meet the right sort of girl...

Yeah, where are you going to find her?

Somebody that's real, somebody that's alive.

They don't come that way anymore.

I never thought about it.

Boy, I've even been sucker enough to make plans.

You know, I saw an island in the Pacific once.

Never been able to forget it.

That's where I'd like to take her.

She'd have to be the sort of a girl who'd kind of jump in the surf with me

and love it as much as I did.

You know, nights when you and the moon and the water all become one,

and you feel you're part of something big and marvelous.

That's the only place to live.

Why, the stars are so close over your head, you'd feel you could reach up and

stir them around.

Hey, I've been thinking about it.

Boy, if I could ever find a girl who was hungry for those things...

Take me with

you, Peter.

Take me to your island. I want to do all those things you talked about.

You'd better go back to your bed.

I love you. Nothing else matters.

We can run away. Everything will take care of itself.

Please, Peter.

I can't let you go out of my life now.

I couldn't live without you.

You'd better go back to your bed.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Brett.

Did you mean that? Would you really go?

I'm asking, is enough gas to get me to New York?

That bag's worth $25.

Yeah, but I got a bag. My wife gave me one for Christmas. Hey, now, listen,

listen. I'll tell you what I'll do. When I get back here in the morning, I'll buy

it back from you and give you a $10 profit.

What do you say?

I ain't got a hat.

What? I ain't got a hat.

Well, you got one now.

Come on, fill her up.

Don't go in there. He'll shoot you on sight. I haven't been shot at in days.

Get out of here. Get out.

Get out. Now, listen, Joe. Don't Joe me. All right, Joe. Listen.

Now, you know I've always liked you. Any time I could do you a good turn, any

time I ran across a story I thought was good, I always came running to you with

it, didn't I?

Well, I got one now.

Those wires I sent you were on the level. It's the biggest scoop of the

year. And I'm giving it to you, Joe. You mean about the Andrews kid? That's it.

I've got it all written up. Ready to go.

All I want is a thousand bucks.

A thousand bucks? Get out of here before... Now, don't get sore, Joe. This

is something you've got to do for me. I need a thousand bucks, and I need it

quick. I'm in a jam. What's a thousand bucks for?

To tear down the walls of Jericho. What? Well, never mind.

Supposing I was to tell you that Ellen Andrews is going to have her marriage,

and no, that she's going to marry somebody else.

You're drunk. Would an exclusive story like that be worth a thousand bucks to

you? Yeah, if it was on the level.

Well, I've got it, Joe.

Who's the guy she's going to marry?

I am.

You? Yeah.

Now I know you're drunk.

I'm going home. Don't annoy me anymore. Oh, for heaven's sake, Joe. Stop being

an editor for a minute.

Listen, we've known each other a long time. Now, you ought to know when I'm

serious. This is on the level.

I met her on a bus coming from Miami. I've been with her every minute.

I'm in love with her, Joe. Well, I... Listen, pal, you've got to get me this

money now, quick. Minutes count.

She's waiting for me in an auto camp just outside Philadelphia.

I've got to get right back. You see, she doesn't even know I'm gone.

You know, a guy can't propose to a gal without a cent in the world, can he?

What a story.

On her way to join husband, Ellen Andrews... That's it, that's it.

Let me see that a minute.

Zeke? Zeke!

Zeke!

I told you, I told you you couldn't trust him. He's gone.

Who? Well, that fellow was going to stay here a week, that's who.

He skipped and took the car with him, too.

We wouldn't know nothing about it till morning if I hadn't took that magnesia.

Come on, get up. Don't lay there. Let's do something about it.

There's nothing we can do if he's gone.

See that? They're gone.

Looks like it, don't it?

What's this?

Ma!

Here's the woman.

What's the matter?

Where's your husband, young lady?

Husband? Yes, if he is your husband.

Isn't he here?

No, he ain't. The car's gone, too.

You got any money?

No. Then you'll have to get.

Yeah, you'll have to get.

Please may I use your phone? I've got to call New York.

You ain't gonna stick me for no phone call. You can go right down to the

sheriff's office about a quarter of a mile down the road. They'll fix you up.

And listen, next time you better not come back here.

I run a respectable place.

Thanks, pal. You saved my life. Okay, Pete. Go on, kid, and good luck. Thanks.

Goodbye, Agnes.

Oh, you're beautiful.

All women are beautiful.

Mike Doe, he's still the best newspaper man in the business.

Get Hank, quick. Oh, boy, what a yawn. What a yawn.

Hank, hold up the morning edition. Break down the front page. We're going to have

a complete new layout. Send in a couple of rewrite men.

And Hank, listen.

Don't do a thing. I've got a story that'll make your hair curl. Wait a

minute. Yeah, yeah. Don't annoy me. I'm busy.

Agnes, send Mac in here.

Dig up all the pictures on that Andrews kid.

Get Healy out of bed. I want a cartoon and I want it quick.

King Wesley's in it. He's waiting at the church with tears streaming down his

face. The bride didn't show up. Old man Andrews is there too. He's laughing his

head off. You know, everything exaggerated.

Yeah, snap into it. Yeah, what is it? Huh?

Ellen Andrews?

Are you crazy?

No, I'm not crazy. She phoned her father from an auto cab for him to come right

out and get her.

He's getting a police escort and Wesley's going along too.

Yeah. Yeah, she's been traveling by bus.

The moment she found out that her father and Wesley made up, she phoned right in.

Okay, grab a car and stay with him.

Get Hank again.

Agnes! Get me a doctor. I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.

Hank, forget what I just told you. I'm just having a nightmare, that's all.

Agnes!

You call the police department. Tell them to find Peter Wan. Send out a

general alarm. I want that dirty truck pinched. You want us? Yeah, shove

everything off the front page. Ellen Andrews just phoned her father. She's

gone home.

The minute she found out the old man was due his objections, she gave herself up.

Now spread it all over the place. Play it up big. Here's your lead.

Not triumphant!

Hey, Pete. Seven Andrews is gonna marry that Wesley guy again.

Gordon's out back someplace.

Yeah?

When he comes in, give him this. Tell him I was just kidding.

You can't get a thing done around here. You know, Warren was just in. What?

He left this money. He said tell you he was just kidding. Well, where is he?

There he goes. Hey, Pete!

I'm sorry. It was just a little gag of mine. I thought I'd have some fun with

it. Yeah, sure. You had me going for a while, too.

Wouldn't have made a bad story, is there?

No, great.

But that's the way things go.

You think you've got a great yarn, and then something comes along and messes up

the finish.

And there you are.

Yeah.

Where am I?

When you sober up, come in and talk.

Harry?

Oh, hello, Dad.

I knocked several times.

I'm sorry.

I must have been daydreaming.

Well, everything's set.

Creating quite a furor, too.

Great Stud King is going to fall.

Stud? Yes, landing on the lawn in an auto gyro.

Oh, oh, yes.

Yes, I heard.

Yes, personally, I think it's silly, too.

You look lovely, child.

Are you pleased with the gown?

Tell me.

Hmm?

Oh, the gown.

Yes, it's nice, isn't it?

What's the matter, child?

What's wrong?

Nothing.

You haven't changed your mind about King, have you?

Oh, no.

Because if you have, it isn't too late. You know how I feel about him.

Oh, you gave me such a scare when I couldn't find you.

You know, the old pump isn't what it used to be.

Oh, I'm sorry, Father. I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world. You know

that.

What's the matter, child?

Aren't you happy?

I thought so.

I knew there was something on your mind.

There.

What's the matter?

You haven't fallen in love with someone else, have you?

Have you?

I haven't seen you cry since you were a baby.

This must be serious.

Where'd you meet him?

On the road.

Now, don't tell me you've fallen in love with a bus driver.

Oh, you.

Who is he?

I don't know very much about him.

Except that I love him.

Well, if it's as serious as all that, we'll move heaven and earth to... No,

it's no use.

He despises me. Oh, come now. Yes, he does. He despises everything about me.

He says that I'm spoiled and selfish and pampered and thoroughly insincere. Oh,

ridiculous.

He doesn't think so much of you either.

Well, I... He blames you for everything that's wrong with me.

He says you raise me stupidly.

Now, that's a fine man to fall in love with.

Oh, he's marvelous.

Well, what are we going to do about it?

Where is he?

I don't know.

Well, I'd like to have talk with him.

Oh, it wouldn't do any good.

I practically threw myself at him.

Well, under the circumstances, don't you think we'd better call this thing off?

Oh, no.

No, I'll go through with it. Oh, but that's silly, seeing the way you feel

about him.

No, it doesn't matter. I don't want to stir up any more trouble.

I've done it all my life.

I've made your life miserable and mine too.

I'm tired, Father.

I'm tired of running around in circles.

He's right. That's what I've been doing ever since I can remember.

I've got to settle down.

It doesn't matter how, where or with whom.

You've changed, Ellie.

I can't walk out on King now. It would make us all look so ridiculous.

Anyway, what difference does it make?

I'll never see Peter again.

Is that his name?

Peter Warne.

Peter Warne.

Why, do you know him?

Oh, why, no, no.

Oh, Farley, you haven't heard from him, have you? Don't be silly. Of course not.

Oh, please.

What's that?

I guess that was his only interest in me, wasn't it?

The reward.

I'm sorry you read it.

Are you going to see him?

I suppose so. Certainly.

Certainly. Pay him off.

Oh, he's entitled to it. He did an excellent job.

He kept me thoroughly entertained.

It's worth every penny he gets.

Oh, thank you, Mary. That's just what I needed.

Mr. Wesley's on his way up.

Fine. Have him come in.

I'll be going.

Well,

if it isn't the bridegroom himself.

You're just in time, King.

How are you, Ellie?

Are you happy?

Happy? Why shouldn't I be happy?

Here we are, King. Let's think.

Well, it's up to you now.

I want our life to be full of excitement. We'll never let up, will we?

Never a dull moment.

We'll get on a merry-go-round and never get off.

Promise you'll never let me get off.

Whatever you say, darling, it's a promise.

Why can't I see you at your office?

I'm leaving for Washington tonight. Now, I may be gone several weeks.

I thought perhaps you'd like to get this thing settled. Yeah, but I don't like

the idea of butting it on your jamboree. Just between you and me, those things

give me a stiff pain.

Well, you don't have to see anybody.

You can come directly to my study.

No, no, no. Why do I want to... Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Maybe I will come over.

Yeah.

I'd like to get a load of that three-ring circus you're pulling.

Yeah, I want to see what love looks like when it's triumphant.

I haven't had a good laugh in a week.

Mr. Warren?

Yeah.

Sit down.

Thanks.

I was surprised to get your note. My daughter hadn't told me anything about

you, about your helping her.

That's typical of your daughter. Take those things for granted.

Why didn't you think I lugged her all the way from Miami for the love of it?

She thinks you're entitled to anything you can get. Oh, she does, eh? Now,

isn't that sweet of her? You don't, I suppose.

I don't know.

I'll have to see on what you base your claim.

I presume you feel justified. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here.

I got it all itemized.

Cash outlay, $8.60.

Top coat, $15. Suitcase, $7.50. Hat, $4. Three shirts, $4.50.

Total, $39.60.

All the above items had to be sold to buy gasoline.

And I sold some shorts and socks, too. I'm throwing those in.

Yes, I know. What's the matter? Isn't it cheap enough?

A trip like that would cost you $1,000, maybe more.

Now, let me get this straight.

You want $39.60 in addition to the $10,000?

What $10,000?

The reward.

Who said anything about a reward?

I'm afraid I'm a little bit confused.

I assume that you... Look, look, look. All I want is $39.60.

And if you give me a check for it, I'll get out of this joint. It gives me the

jitters.

You're a peculiar chap. Yeah, we'll go into that some other time. The average

man would go after the reward. All you seem to be... Listen, did anybody ever

make a sucker out of you?

This is a matter of principle.

Something you probably wouldn't understand.

But when anybody takes me for a buggy ride, I don't like the idea of having to

pay for the privilege.

What, you taking for a buggy ride?

Yes, with all the trimmings.

So how about the check? Do I get it?

Certainly. Thanks.

There you are.

Thank you.

Oh, do you mind if I ask you a question, frankly?

Do you love my daughter?

Any guy that'd fall in love with your daughter ought to have his head

examined. Now, that's a division.

She picked herself a perfect running mate, King Wesley.

The pill of the century.

What she needs is a guy that'd take a sock at her once a day, whether it's

coming to her or not.

If you had half the brains you're supposed to have, you'd have done it

yourself long ago. Do you love her?

A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going

nutty. She's my idea of nothing. I asked you a simple question. Do you love her?

Yes! But don't hold that against me. I'm a little screwy myself.

I hope you got your money.

You bet I did.

Congratulations. Thanks. Same to you.

Stay around and watch the fun. You'll enjoy it immensely.

I would, but I've got a weak stomach.

I just had a long talk with him.

I'm not interested.

Just a minute, Eddie.

I don't want to hear another word about him.

That guy Warren is okay.

He didn't want the reward.

All he asked for was $39.60, what he spent on you.

Said it was a matter of principle.

You took him for a ride.

and buy him off for a pot of gold.

And you can make an old man happy.

And you won't do so bad for yourself.

If you change your mind, your car is waiting at the back gate.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God and in the face

of this company.

to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let

him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his pique.

King, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, so long as ye both shall

live? I will.

Helen, wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, so long as ye both shall

live?

Smartest thing you ever did, Wesley, not to contest that annulment.

That's satisfactory, isn't it?

Well, it ought to be.

Oh, I'm not complaining.

Oh, no, not complaining. It was dirt cheap.

Don't fall out of any windows.

There's another wire from Peter. They're in Glen Falls, Michigan.

What's holding up the annulment, you slowpoke?

The walls of Jericho are toppling.

Send him a telegram right away.

Just say, let him topple.

Funny couple, ain't they? Yeah.

If you ask me, I don't believe they're married.

They're married all right. I've just seen the license.

They made me get them a rope and a blanket on a night like this. What do

you reckon that's for?

Blame if I know. I just brung them a trumpet.

A trumpet?

Yeah, one of them toy things they sent me to the store to get it. Well, what in

the world do they want a trumpet for?

Dunno.