Original subtitles

Good evening, before we begin our play

I would like to demonstrate the training method

we use here, at the Hitchcock Actor’s Studio.

You see, we give the students symbols,

or certain images to assist them

in portraying character.

Because of the type of character

our Miss Schmells was to portray,

we suggested that she think of herself

as a tree.

I think she projected very well.

Thank you, Miss Schmells.

Our next student, Mr. Blackwood,

was asked to portray a large

jolly captain of industry, and to help him,

we suggested that he think of himself as an elephant.

Excellent.

In all honesty,

I must admit that Mr. Blackwood

has been with us longer than Miss Schmells.

And now, after this brief acting demonstration,

we bring you tonight’s story

proceeded by tonight’s commercial.

-Thank you, Mr. Blackwood. -[hoofs]

That will be all, Mr. Blackwood.

I said that will be all, Mr. Blackwood!

Mr. Blackwood!

-[knocking on the door] -[jazz music]

[man] Bart... Bart, are you there?

[knocks on the door]

Hey, Bart! Open up, it’s me, Ed.

[fidgeting with doorknob]

Hey, Bart.

Oh, brother.

Not again.

I’ve just about had it.

[music stops]

Bart,

come on, Bart, wake up. Bart!

[sighs]

Hey! Cut it out!

[exhales]

What is this? The Johnstown flood?

Looks like a disaster area to me.

Well, I had a little, uh...

bash up here last night, I was

entertaining a couple of old buddies.

So I see.

You won’t tell Marge, will you?

I’m your agent, not your bodyguard.

Sure, my agent.

So, what do you want? 10% of my hangover?

All I want is you

dressed and sober for that audition.

Audition?

So help me, Ed. It went clean out of my mind.

And I’ve been out of my skull trying to get hold of you.

[grunts]

So, how did you get in?

Marge gave me her key.

-Good girl. -Yeah?

Why don’t you marry her?

About the audition, uh,

-how much time we got, Ed? -We’re an hour late already!

I’ll shave and shower in ten minutes.

You sure you feel all right?

There’s nothing wrong with me a good embalmer couldn’t fix.

Bart, listen up. An audition with Wellman is important.

Believe me, you can use a part in a hit play.

Yeah, I know it. My landlord told me.

Don’t worry, pal. We’ll be sitting

in Wellman’s lap in half an hour.

Yes, Mr. Robinson, I do realize

you’ve called several times.

But you must understand, he’s terribly busy.

45 minutes we’ve been hanging.

-Where’s the action? -Relax, baby.

You kept him waiting, he keeps you waiting.

-You wanna bet? -...209.

Excuse me, Cleopatra.

Thought I heard your boss calling.

Oh, he didn’t ring.

Well, of course not, he’s too impatient,

just can’t wait to see his old friend Bart Collins

all the way from Hollywood. [laughs]

But he doesn’t like to be disturbed.

-Oh,sure, he does. Now you go ahead... -[man] ...Can see my people.

Yes sir, I certainly do.

Bart, boy! Good to see you!

-Hello, Ed. -Mr. Wellman.

Please forgive us, I’m sorry we were late.

You both know Jerry Lane, don’t you?

Know him, Jerry was the life of my party last night,

weren’t you, Jer?

Oh, this guy drinks straight orange juice like it was water,

-He’s wild. [laughs] -Well, many thanks, Mr. Wellman.

I’ll contact your agent tomorrow.

-It was nice reading, Jerry. -Thank you sir.

Very nice.

That boy’s an interesting actor.

Too bad there isn’t something in the play for him.

Well, I’m not so sure.

-Well there’s only one part open. -That’s right.

The lead, my part. Now, wait a minute...

Now, hold it, Bart. You’ll get your chance.

Mr. Wellman, this boy went to the expense

of flying all the way back from California,

just to audition for you.

I appreciate that, Ed.

And I want very much to hear him.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t consider other actors.

Let’s go inside, shall we?

Bart, come on.

[chattering]

I think you’ve had enough.

Yeah, I’ve had it all right, all the way up to here.

[drums]

Let’s face it, Marge, things are getting rough.

I bombed on the television. I goofed on the movie,

and now I’m fouling up on the play.

Come on, Bart. Is not the end of the world.

Now, you’ll get another chance.

I had my chance today,

until Jerry Lane got into the act.

But didn’t you tell me Wellman hasn’t decided yet?

And Jerry has a perfect right to try, he’s a good actor.

What are you? His lawyer or something?

[drums]

Hey, wait a minute.

Don’t tell me that you and ol’ Jerry have been swinging

while I’ve been out on the coast.

[huffs] Of course not.

We just had a few dates together.

-Fun things. -Fun things?

Huh? you and ol’ Jerr-o?

Hey, Lady Chatterley, why don’t you give us another jolt, huh?

Not for me, thank you. Please, Bart.

Yeah, well I’m celebrating.

There’s nothing to celebrate, yet.

Oh, yes there is, chick.

[sneers] There’s lots to celebrate.

Here’s to you, and my good friend Jerry Lane.

He’s just the guy for the part.

Thank you, Lolita. Hey, why don’t you drop back after

you knock off and maybe we can work out...

a fun thing together, huh?

Hello, Bart.

-Hello, creep. -Mind if we, uh, sit down?

I don’t care if you drop dead.

I, uh, I wanna explain about the audition.

You mentioned the part last night, but I never

gave it another thought, and this morning,

my agent called, and said he’d set up an audition

with Wellman. That’s how it happened.

Sure.

Say, uh, not to change the subject

but you owe me ten bucks.

-Ten bucks? -Yeah, don’t you remember

the other night at the party

you borrowed it for the dice game?

Oh, yeah. And I got totaled.

Sorry, chum. No bread today.

-[drums] -[chattering]

Come on, let’s get outta here. Let’s go some place

where it’s quiet.

We’ll go to my place.

-[drums] - Can’t stand these crazy drums.

[orchestra music]

[Bart drumming]

-[music stops] -[Bart drumming]

Come on, Bart. Knock it off.

Hey, Bart!

What’s the matter? Don’t you dig the classics?

It’s Beethoven’s Fifth.

-And speaking of fifths... -Hey, c’mon, lay off, Bart.

What’s the matter? Don’t you think I’m couth enough?

You see these ’cyclopedias?

Marge gave ’em to me for my birthday last year.

Never opened.

I don’t have to, because I got it all right up here.

[Jerry] Marge is a wonderful girl.

Yeah, she’s a real swinger.

[sighs]

When I got back last week, she gave me that.

It’s the best ice bucket in the world.

That’s what I call a really useful gift.

"Alas, poor Yorick!

I knew him, Horatio.

A fellow of infinite jest!"

Come on, Bart. Let’s cut out all this jazz--

What’s the matter? Don’t you appreciate all my acting?

What do you know about acting anyway?

I’m learning.

Learning what? How to steal somebody else’s part?

Now, look, let’s not start that again.

I told you it was my agent who sent me up there.

Look, you had no right to read for Wellman,

because you’re rotten actor, Jerry... you’re rotten!

-Look who’s talking! -Yeah,

well, at least I know what I’m doing.

I live my roles!

That’s the big secret, you gotta feel the part!

With all that booze floating in you

you’re too numb to feel anything.

Yeah-- That’s a lie. Look, you’ve seen my pictures,

you know that I can project.

Sure, so do the critics. That’s why you’re here.

I’m here because I’m right for that part. Wellman knows it.

You couldn’t play that part in a million years.

Yeah? Why not?

Because you haven’t got the guts.

It takes guts, feeling, and emotion.

Now, listen Jerry. This, uh,

this character’s got a temper, hasn’t he?

-Huh? -I visualize him as

an emotional type, yes.

Well, never mind the... never mind the visualize bit,

you gotta live it.

Now, take the scene where he flips his wig.

You mean the one where he chokes his father-in-law?

Yeah, he really means it. He wants to strangle him.

-Here, let me show you. -I’m not up on the lines.

-Bart, come on. -Who needs the lines?

It’s the feeling that counts. You play for real.

You wanna show hate, then you think hate.

That’s-That’s the secret.

-Here, I’ll demonstrate you. -Jesus!

Now I’m not thinking about any lines now.

-Because I’ve got the real hate. -Hey, come on! Let go!

Now you feel it Jerry? The real hate?

-Come on. -Not because you drink your orange juice

just like a good boy,

and you wake up young and fresh for the audition!

Because you’re taking my part, Jerry, my last chance!

Huh?

’Cause I hate you, Jerry. You feel it, Jerry?

You feel it?

Jerry?

Jerry?

Jerry?

Jerry?

-[knocking on the door] -Mr. Collins?

Maid service, Mr. Collins.

-I don’t need you, go away. -But it’s Friday.

Well, so let it go until Monday.

Don’t you even want your beds made

and fresh towels for the bathroom?

Don’t worry about the bathroom! I’ll clean up the mess

in there myself!

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

Hello? Oh, yeah, Marge,

I know you couldn’t reach me. I had the phone shut off.

I told you I’ll be busy for a couple of days.

Maybe I could see you this afternoon.

Where are you now?

Downstairs in the lobby?

Now, Marge, wait... wait!

[knocks on the door]

Bart?

Bart, are you there?

-[running water] -Bart?

Bart?

-[knocking on the door] -Bart?

-Bart? -Just a minute!

Sorry, I was, uh, just...

straightening up.

Sure you weren’t hiding another woman?

Now where would I hide anyone around here?

Well, you managed to hide yourself pretty good.

Hello, Ed. I didn’t expect to see you.

He came with me.

What gives here? Are you two ganging up on me?

I couldn’t reach you by phone, so I thought of get in touch

-through Marge. -Hey! Where you going?

Powder my nose, if that’s all right with you.

Not in there.

Why not?

Bart, have you got somebody hidden?

Nobody, go ahead.

Thanks.

Hey, level with me.

What’s been happening?

I’ve just been straightening out, that’s all. [sighs]

By straightening out, you mean, uh...

getting stiff?

No, Ed, that’s finished. I’ve sworn off.

Well, fine.

That’s the only thing I was worried about.

Bart, I’ve got some good news for you.

Let me tell him.

Wellman’s changed his mind, darling, he’s giving you the part.

We’re gonna celebrate.

Thank you, it’s heavy.

It’s full of ice cubes.

Bart, you don’t seem too excited by the news.

No, I am. I am, I’m...

just stunned, sort of.

[knocks on the door]

This Grand Central Station?

Lieutenant Gunderson. Special detail.

I’d like to talk to you, for a moment.

Sure, come in.

Oh, didn’t realize you had company.

It’s quite all right, lieutenant. This is, uh,

my fiancé, Miss Ridgeway...

and my... agent Ed Bolling.

-Lieutenant. -Hot day, isn’t it?

Uh, I’ll tell you why I’m here.

We’re checking up on a friend of yours,

named Jerry Lane.

[Marge] Jerry? What’s the matter?

Is he in trouble?

Well, that’s just it, miss. We don’t really know.

He seems to have drop out of sight,

since last Thursday evening.

His agent’s asked us to try to locate him.

Well, I wish we could help you, lieutenant.

Well, maybe you can.

According to reports, you were the last person

he was seen with.

[sighs] Me?

Thursday evening, at the Empty Room Café.

You and he left together at around 11 o’clock.

That’s right.

Poor guy was so loaded, I had to help him into a cab.

Go on.

That’s all. He climbed into a cab, and I came home.

You sure Jerry Lane didn’t come home with you?

-Why should he? -Now, you tell me.

I have the night clerk’s word for it.

He saw you and another man coming downstairs

around midnight last Thursday.

The other man answers Jerry Lane’s description,

but nobody seen Lane come out.

Well, in that case, lieutenant, he still must be here.

Why don’t you take a look around?

Well, thanks. If you don’t mind.

Be my guest.

Bedroom through the alcove.

The bath, and the kitchen.

Bart, Jerry wasn’t up here, was he?

Of course not.

Oh, I’ve been so worried about you lately I just

don’t know what to think.

Well, now you know. I was fighting off

the temptation of that demon rum.

Just as simple as that.

I’m glad!

Funny, isn’t it?

Here I spent all my hard earned money

to buy you this beautiful ice bucket and then

you swear off drinking.

-Maybe I better take it home with me. -No!

I was only kidding.

I want it for sentimental reasons.

-Bart, is something wrong? -Bart,

I’m worried about Jerry.

Where do you think he disappeared to?

Well, there doesn’t seem to be anything here,

thanks for letting me look around.

All right, any time, lieutenant.

Guess I’ll have to have another talk with that night clerk.

Don’t lean on him too much, you know, we all make mistakes.

-Hm. -Would you care for a drink

before you go, lieutenant? We’re celebrating getting a job.

Yeah, well, thanks. But I’m on duty.

You see? Nobody wants a drink.

Well, I do.

Bart, If you’ve really sworn off,

you’ll just have to get used to watching other people drink.

Sure you won’t change your mind, lieutenant?

After all, it is a celebration.

[Ed] Just one, lieutenant.

Well, maybe I will have a glass of ice water.

If that isn’t too much trouble.

Oh, what are you doing?

Just getting some ice, for the lieutenant.

Well, I’ll get some ice cubes out of the refrigerator.

But darling, don’t you remember you told me this was full of--

I told you to keep your hands off!

[drops lid]

How did you dispose of the rest of the body?

Mr. Blackwood, Mr. Blackwood,

this is most upsetting.

Especially to Miss Schmells.

He had a date to take her to dinner after class.

Perhaps you should give me another minute.

Mr. Blackwood...

Next week, we shall be back with another story.

As for this incident,

I have become philosophical about it.

After all, we may have lost a student,

but we have gained a mascot.

Goodnight.