Original subtitles

Hey, Harper.

[gasps] Are those gumballs?

Don't mind if I do!

Dad!

Don't you see the caution tape?

I don't see much of anything when I got gumballs on my mind.

Those are not gumballs.

Those are nucleotides in the DNA model

that I spent the last three days carefully crafting.

So please

be careful.

[jet pack thrusting]

Whoo-hoo!

Look out for my--

Harper, you should really

be more cautious around caution tape.

Thanks.

But since your model's destroyed,

think I'll help myself to a gumball.

That's Styrofoam.

Whatever it is, sure is tasty.

That is so cool!

This jet pack is pretty awesome.

They put coleslaw in my pastrami sandwich,

and they didn't even charge me for it.

- You don't like coleslaw. - I know, but it's free.

- Richie! - Harper!

- Why are you yelling at me? - I don't know.

I thought it was the nature of our sibling repartee!

I'm yelling because you ruined the model

I made to showcase my DNA mapping work.

I told you, I have an interview

for the Harvard summer program tomorrow.

Really?

Irona? I thought I asked you

to remind me of important items on my schedule.

- You did, speaking of which,

rerun of Stinky and the Bean starting in five minutes.

Ooh!

Harper, I have something important I have to get to.

How about I give you some money for your trouble?

Whoa, let's not be crazy here.

I don't want any of your stupid, unearned money.

- Fine! - Fine!

- Fine!

What? I just wanted to be part of your sibling repartee.

My name is Richie Rich, and I'm just a normal kid,

except that I have a trillion dollars.

You see, I used all the vegetables

I never ate to create a new energy source

and sold it for a lot of money.

Now I live in a huge mansion

with my own amusement park, race car,

and personal robot maid.

And I have my family and the best friends in the world

to share my fortune with.

My dad,

my jealous sister, Harper,

my money manager, Murray,

and my money spender, Darcy.

I guess you could say by not eating my vegetables,

I became the richest and luckiest kid in the world.

Ugh, why did we have to waste our time

picking a country to write a comprehensive report on?

Do you know how much research it's going to take to figure out

what "comprehensive" means?

I, for one, couldn't be happier.

You like this assignment?

No, I'm just still jazzed about the whole coleslaw thing.

I have an idea. You're a trillionaire.

Pick an island with a gorgeous beach that we can go "research."

Do you have any ideas

that don't involve spending thousands of dollars?

I have some that involve spending more than that.

- I think it's a great idea. - Glad you said that.

I already had Irona prep your jet!

Master Richie,

since you are going away for a week

and I have not had any "me" time

since that lovely voyage from China

in the shipping container,

I was thinking...

You want the week off?

I had not thought of that.

But as always, your wish is my command.

This robot is hitting Vegas.

Richie, why would you want to hang out

on a hot, sandy, potentially shark-infested beach

when we could be studying

in a climate-controlled school library?

Come on, Murray, live a little.

I'm trying to live a lot.

That's why I stay out of the sun.

Ooh.

What about this tiny island nation

in the middle of the Pacific?

It has amazing beaches

and was founded in 2006.

How much history could it possibly have?

What the--

Where's the bathroom in this place?

Hey, Dad.

Is it cool if I go away with Darcy and Murray?

Whatever. I need to find a bathroom.

My stomach's been iffy since I ate that Styrofoam.

It must have gone bad.

Tulip! Where have you been?

At the hospital.

Oh, my gosh, are you okay?

Yeah. That was where I was born.

Then I was in my parents' car

when they took me to their house.

- Okay. - Then...

I was kind of wondering why it took you days to get my clothes

from my old house.

I was carrying your boxes,

but then I came to this sign that said "stop."

I waited and waited, but it never changed to "go."

You carried the boxes?

Why didn't you just put it into the moving van?

I didn't see a moving van.

I just saw a parked one.

Okay. Well, I'm glad that you--

and my clothes-- finally made it.

I have my Harvard interview tomorrow,

and I need to find something that says

"smart and sophisticated."

Your clothes can talk?

These boxes are empty.

Don't tell me you didn't tape them shut.

Okay, I won't tell you.

But it seems like you kind of figured it out.

One second.

[screaming]

Okay.

Now I can calmly ask you to please go find my clothes.

Good news! I found your clothes.

You're the best. Where are they?

[blows nose, sniffling]

Yeah. He can keep 'em.

This trip is going to be so sick.

We haven't even left the house yet,

and I'm having the time of my life.

Where's Murray?

That must be why.

This is going to be so much fun.

I've never heard you say that before.

You looking forward to some beach time?

Oh, no, I'm not going with you.

I'm looking forward to some Darcy-free time.

Master Richie,

last piece of business before I hit the poker tables--

Message from the king of the island you are heading to.

He says, "knock-knock."

Ooh, I love a good knock-knock joke.

Text back, "Who's there?"

No, seriously, kid, open the door.

I am the king of Lupitiongo.

Uh, welcome, King.

What's the most respectful way of saying,

"What are you doing here?"

Yeah, we're supposed to come to you.

Yeah, she was supposed to come to you.

That would be impossible.

No one will be coming to my island.

Well, that is a shame.

I hear a slot machine calling my name.

Hold on, Irona.

King, why is it that it's impossible to visit your island?

'Cause it sank into the ocean.

For reals?

That's tragic.

I was really looking forward to some beach time.

I'd better head out before this bad luck rubs off on me.

Irona, I'm sorry, but it looks like you can't go on vacation.

Too late.

King, that's terrible for you and your people.

Luckily, we found a great place to move our country to.

It's spacious, protected from rising seas,

and has plentiful resources.

That sounds amazing. Where?

Your house.

Meet the islanders of Lupitiongo!

- Dad? - Oh, he's not with us.

I saw him behind a bush,

and I told him I'd help him find a bathroom.

Thanks, pal.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why are you all moving in my room?

There's plenty of space in this house...

and the rest of the world.

Dude, you have car couches?

In my country, we had neither cars nor couches.

Dibs on the left one.

Richie, I'm getting some academic inspiration,

so I'm going to head off to Tahiti and get my paper done.

Nice try, Darcy.

The Bahamas?

You're not going anywhere.

Welcome to the club, sister.

Your lunch, Master Richie.

Irona, you're not the only one whose vacation got canceled.

You think I want all these strangers bringing their junk

in my newly remodeled room?

Richie, this isn't junk. These are our only possessions.

Plastic refuse was our country's only natural resource--

well, unnatural resource.

Here's the thing, King...

I'm not supposed to have sleepovers

without my dad's permission.

[toilet flushes]

Permission granted.

This guy's a lifesaver.

Wow. Richie, I see you've made some new friends,

which isn't surprising at all, given how great a guy you are.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to make sure you know that

despite my occasional quip, I think that

you're the smartest, coolest brother around.

Now, would you mind giving me a few bucks to find an outfit

for my Harvard interview?

Thank you for that out-of-character,

heartfelt expression of emotion.

I would be happy to give you a few bucks...

Thank goodness.

Except you specifically told me

you didn't want any of my stupid, unearned money.

[scoffs] What?

I would never say anything like that.

Irona?

[Harper's voice] I don't want any of your stupid, unearned money.

I hate you and your little robot, too!

I am so glad to see

that you didn't fall for such transparent butt-kissing.

And being such a smart, perceptive young man,

I assume you understand that the people of my country

have no place to go.

And by the way, you smell terrific!

While I appreciate your genuine compliments,

I don't think I can do it.

I'll make you king.

Welcome, my subjects!

Make yourself at home in the new Lu--

- what's my kingdom called? - Lupitiongo.

- Let's go with "Richie's room"! - [applause]

Would it be, like, hugely offensive

if I spent a few of my own bucks on a real crown?

I didn't say a word when you changed the name of our country.

Do whatever you want.

I'm back...

with clothes for you to borrow.

Thank you, Tulip.

It may take you... a while,

but you always come through for me.

Let's see my outfit options.

Why are your clothes in a block of ice?

When I washed the clothes for you, they shrunk in the dryer.

So I figured,

putting them in the freezer would expand them again.

Pretty smart, huh?

Oh, oh...

Tulip!

Oh, oh.

I am so sorry.

My fingers went numb.

It's not your fault.

For some reason, the universe is conspiring against me.

I don't deserve this.

I am a good person.

- You do yell a lot. - I do not!

Well, it doesn't matter.

I guess I just have no choice

but to cancel my interview tomorrow.

Don't do that.

You rebuild your model,

and I'll make you something to wear.

Make me? [chuckles]

Tulip. [chuckles]

I don't think that's going to work.

I'd explain why, but I'm trying to change my luck

and be a good person.

I know how to make clothes.

Remember, I used to make little dresses for that baby doll

you used to drag around the house?

I do remember how cute those dresses were.

Okay, the new-- hopefully luckier-- me says

go get started while I go redo my DNA model.

King Richie, I hope you're enjoying the royal throne.

It vibrates, you know.

Really? How do I turn it on?

Just snap your fingers.

[haltingly] Surprisingly soothing.

King Richie,

we're up to our necks in a flood of problems.

Sorry. Poor choice of words.

What's wrong, Murray?

Once you became king,

I started looking over the country's finances,

and they are drowning in debt.

Again, sorry, poor choice of words.

- Maybe we can help them out. - You don't understand.

By becoming king, you are now responsible to pay back

all of the money they borrowed.

How is that even legal?

Tap, tap, no give-backs.

Murray, I hereby appoint you Secretary of Finance.

Do whatever you can to fix these financial problems.

Right away, King Richie.

Darcy, get out of here and never come back.

Why? What did I do?

No, no, come back later.

Excuse me, Your Highness.

Please, Dad, you don't have to call me "Your Highness."

- "King Richie" is fine. - King Richie...

the islanders are running low on essential survival needs.

All the blue sports drink is gone,

- and that's everyone's favorite. - Not a problem.

Irona, I need you to hit the market.

Okay. Finally some "me" time.

And come right back.

No flirting with the barcode scanner.

Fine.

Uh, one more thing--

Not that I had anything to do with it,

but there's a bit of a situation in the bathroom.

Again, I'd like to stress, I had nothing to do with it.

No big deal.

Irona, hold off on the store.

I need you to plunge the toilet.

I love my mechanical existence.

Anything else for King Richie?

The locals had a few basic suggestions.

Whoa. There's a ton of stuff here.

"New flip-flops, fresh flowers in the bathroom"?

Do they really need an omelet bar?

That one's mine. It's a good idea, isn't it?

Not to be a noodge,

but any progress on the blue sports drink, Your Highness?

Not yet.

Excuse me.

Guys...

I can't take this--

I don't want to let them down,

but I can't solve all their problems.

Don't sweat it. These people must be used to disappointment.

Look at their last king.

I'd be careful.

These people have a long-standing reputation

of sacrificing their kings to a volcano.

That can't be true.

I know their island didn't have a volcano.

Actually, Volcano is the name

of a shark that used to circle their island

and now circles your aquarium.

I don't want to be king anymore.

You could always flee the country.

No I can't, the country is my bedroom.

King Richie, while we appreciate you providing a home

for our people,

the blue-sports-drink situation has become intolerable.

Darcy, I need you to get some blue sports drink, fast.

One sec, I'm bidding on Louis XIV's throne,

and there's just a few minutes left in the auction.

That is it.

None of our demands are being met.

Islanders, prepare for a volcano ceremony.

Can we just hold off for, like, two minutes?

Taylor Swift just outbid me for the throne.

- Where's Irona? - She could be saving us.

She's probably gonna be a while.

Who knows what half-digested Styrofoam does to a toilet?

Wait. That gives me an idea.

King, before you feed us to Volcano,

- could I make a last request? - That seems reasonable.

Ask for anything, except for blue sports drink,

because apparently that's too difficult to get.

May I use the bathroom?

That's what you ask for? How about "let us go?"

Or at least a few cans of shark repellent.

Trust me. Have I ever led you astray?

Given the fact that we're about to be fed to a shark,

I think you have.

Tulip, the interviewer's here!

- What the heck happened in here? - I made you a dress.

Hello. You must be Mr. Leegan from Harvard.

I am. Harper Rich?

You're looking at her... face.

Please, I beg of you, only look at my face.

I wrote this book.

I'm a big fan,

which is why I wear it with me at all times.

I suppose I appreciate that.

Other than your literary work,

my second-dearest passion is in DNA mapping.

If you would care to look at this--

As you can see from my presentation,

the human genome is a very delicate structure,

as is my emotional state.

Hey, Harper. Oh, is that that Harvard dude?

I'll give you a blue sports drink

if you let my daughter into your little summer camp.

Thank you, no.

Your loss, buddy.

Harper, you forgot your hat.

No, I didn't.

Well, I think I've learned enough about who you are

to make a decision.

See? I told you. You needed the hat.

No, Mr. Leegan, please wait.

I'm only wearing this insane outfit

because my friend made it for me after losing my entire wardrobe.

I promise you, I am normal.

- And there lies the problem. - Huh?

Harvard isn't interested in normal,

we're looking for extraordinary,

and clearly the mind that created that outfit

thinks outside the box.

I love the way she repurposed common household items

and my life's work.

Brilliant.

No, I am Tulip.

You are Harvard material.

How would you like to spend the summer

with the best and the brightest?

I would love to!

Thank you so much. I totally thought I blew this interview.

You did. I was talking to your friend.

Well, in that case, excuse me for just a second.

[chuckles]

[screaming]

Good last request--

you wouldn't want to be eaten by a shark with a full bladder.

Not something I need to worry about anymore.

Trust me.

Oh, no! Look, everyone, your country is flooding!

No!

And I thought we were finally safe from rising seas!

But then again,

I thought we'd also have blue sports drink by now too.

Check it out! I got more blue sports drink.

Whoa. Is the bathroom flooding?

'Cause if it is, I had nothing to do with it.

What if I told you I know of a spacious place

that will always remain above sea level?

Would you let us go and move your country there?

It's not Denmark, is it? Because we've discussed it--

We'd rather take our chances in the water.

I'm offering to buy a yacht

big enough for you and your people.

Can we take this cart full of blue sports drink with us?

- It's all yours. - Wrap it up, people.

We're out of here.

I don't know. I mean, I'd be missing my kids.

Yeah, you're not coming with us.

But you can push the cart to the boat.

Thanks for saving us.

Now can you get us out of this thing?

Sweet, sweet Harper,

I just wanted you to know, despite our occasional quip,

I think you are the smartest and coolest sister around.

What do you want?

It occurs to me you might enjoy writing

my comprehensive report on a country for social studies?

Did I mention you smell terrific?

Go away. It's too late.

So you're planning on wearing that outfit to school, to prom,

to other college interviews?

So Tahiti, five to six pages?