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Name?

Clarissa Darling.

Sign here.

I'm gonna need that scarf, girl.

Ain't gonna have to lose those hoops.

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Any other piercings or body jewelry they can get a hold of.

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Stay behind the yellow line.

Hello baby, do you like it long and hot?

I am hot and fresh for you!

Don't make eye contact!

Get me out of here, I'm not a whore, I just needed the dough.

This way.

Hey mon, you want to get baked mon?

Hey Mary, how would you like to get yourself sticky with a little creeper?

I can smell your laughing!

good evening I'm okay

Good evening, Mr. Ginger Dead Man, sir.

My name is Clarissa Darling.

May I have a word with you, sir?

May I see your credentials, please?

Certainly.

Closer, please.

Closer.

Still not close enough.

That's a library card.

Mr. Ginger Dead Man, sir, I've been sent here by the FBI.

Tell me, Clarissa, when you were running down the hall

just now, that little cream puff, he shouted something at you?

Tell me, what did he say?

He said, I can smell your muffin.

I, however, cannot.

I do, however, smell the faint undertone of vanilla-scented skin

cream and that pimento loaf sandwich that you had for lunch, but not today.

I am putting together a case study on

just what it is that drives you to kill, sir.

If you are willing to cooperate in my

investigation, the DA is willing to cut you a deal.

Candyland Island, just off the coast of Lollipop Bay.

Every day, for three hours, you will be

permitted to go outside into the fresh air.

You will walk on the brown sugar beach.

You will swim in the lemonade ocean.

Under SWAT team surveillance, of course.

Will I now?

Come, come, Clarissa.

Let's not play games.

Do you honestly think they can send some rookie in here to try and

unlock the complicated secrets of my brilliant, sophisticated mind?

What are the ingredients that drive you to kill?

Attention all scientific personnel, there's been a security breach.

We have been infiltrated by misguided animal activists.

All personnel are to evacuate the premises immediately.

Oh my God, the horror!

What the fuck?

Be free!

Who give a mother fuck!

Can't we all be new?

Ezekiel, release these imprisoned creatures of God!

Run, Timbuktu!

Run, my friends!

Sugar gliders, be free once again from the horrors of intersection!

Sweet to the sweet, hey ginger dead man.

There is no FBI case.

You possessed the soul of my homeless brother and drove him to kill himself.

Now I'm here to even the score, you little half-baked piece of shit.

No!

Help me, please!

Oh my God!

Look what they've done to you!

They've shaved your body and given you little jelly bean buttons!

Oh, they've cut off your noble tail!

Don't you worry, I'm gonna get you out of here!

Ugh!

Be free!

Be free, little capuchin monkey!

-Be free! -Run! -Run as fast as you can!

No!

I'll kill you, if it's the last thing I

do, I will fuck you until the end of time!

ask, where am I?

Well, fuck me to tears.

Looks like I'm toast.

Motherfucker!

This looks like fun.

Hi, Job.

I think you've got it.

This sustenance time machine can actually

send simple food matter into time and space.

Soon, hunger as we know it will be eradicated.

-Forever. -Just think of it.

A loaf of bread with an expiration date of 100 years.

Too bad your expiration date is right fucking now!

AHAHAHHAHAHA! WOO, OPEN THE DOOR YOU LITTLE FU-

I can't wait till I get up and punch your ass!

You damn imbecile!

Freeze, you little fun-sized fucker!

Oh?

Sorry, brown sugar.

I'm gonna have to catch you some other time, man!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Time's up! Time's up!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, I can't move!

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Huh?

1976?

You gotta be fucking kidding me!

Well, come on!

I gotta get out of here!

AHHHHHH!

What are you doing?

Look out!

Oh, yeah

Yeah

Hey, everybody!

It's time to...

Lookin' good, PJ!

Hey, Classy Lady!

Oh yeah, take a shit!

Hey, where are you going?

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Oh, Hoxie!

That's real Zeppelin.

He's gonna skate in the Olympics some day.

How do you know that?

Shut up, Pickles!

He's going to ask Tammy Pimenta to marry him until he wins a gold medal.

Then he's gonna knock the gold medal down and make two

matching rings so they can have a white wedding on wheels.

Oh, God!

I'm gonna puke!

Shut up, Pickles.

Okay, all right, enough.

Get away.

You're such a freaking fox.

Duh, I mean, why else do you think I'd be

reigning roller queen for four years in a row?

Are you ready to bring home another crime tonight, baby?

What do you think?

I think I'd like to peel off those satin

pants and ball you in the back of my Trans Am.

Oh, back off, Epstein.

Come on, you know you're my best girl.

Give me some lovin'.

Whatever, you'll get your rocks off after I get my title.

Tonight, it's my night.

And none of these little rink rats are gonna take my crown away from me.

Well, then I better make sure you get what's rightfully yours.

If I do, then you will.

Can't

Attention skaters!

Welcome to the fourth annual Roller

Boogie Queen contest here at Trixie's Rolla Lab.

Is everybody getting down and having a good time?

If you could show us how it's done, Trixie!

Oh, children, I think it's no secret that my skating days have come and gone.

And sadly, so have all of yours.

Coincidentally, on this day of great roller boogie

celebration, I have received a telegram from the County Tax Commission.

There is a balance of back property taxes that is

going to result in me closing the doors of the Roller Disco.

Uncle Sam can't kill disco!

Yeah!

We're not going to let a few back taxes shut this place down.

You're right.

It'll take exactly $85,000 for that to happen.

Well, if we all work together, maybe we

can raise the dough to pay for it ourselves.

Yeah!

I know!

Maybe we can hold a Roller Disco bikini car wash in the parking lot tonight!

Yeah!

I can have a roller boogie bank sale!

surrounded by idiots.

Bank sale! Here we go again!

Please, while I appreciate your

generous selflessness, there's nothing I can do.

Let's just turn those frowns upside down and keep on truckin'.

Yeah!

Huh? Get that mirror ball spinning light hopped.

If this is going to be the final roller

boogie contest, let's make it the best one ever.

Oh, and one more thing before the festivities begin.

I'd like to introduce you all to my

pride and joy, my lovely niece, Cherry.

She's come here to help me pack up what's left of my dream.

Please embrace her and make her feel welcome.

She's all I've got left in this world.

Say hi, Cherry, and don't be shy.

Isn't she a delight?

And don't forget to cast your votes for the final Roller

Boogie Queen with our very own rink manager, Miss Ingrid Harshman.

Now let's roll a boogie!

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-Oh. -All right.

Come on!

Why isn't this stupid fucking thing working?

Get me the fuck out of here!

Come on!

Dino bite!

Huh?

Asshole!

Of all the shithead decades to get stranded in!

Doreen! Sandy! It's time for the big car wash!

Oh, okay, Connie!

I'm gonna get you both wet!

I'm gonna hose you both!

Ooh!

Ooh!

Oh!

Nice rack!

Well, as long as I'm stranded here, might as well roll a few hands!

Woohoo!

Where's the cigarette machine?

Hey, peaches.

Happy last night at Boogieland.

I'm right back at you, Peach.

Oh, my God.

Tux, look.

-What? -My mood ring.

It says that something epic is going to

happen tonight that I'm never going to forget.

-Duh. -What's that?

I caught Tux's magical trail mix.

Trooms, ludes, acid, ecstasy, bennies, and nose candy.

If we got to say goodbye to Boogieland, I say we cannonball it to the max.

Count me in.

Okay, what should we start with first?

How about a couple of these?

Let's get it on.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ah!

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Randy!

Randy, this is my precious niece.

She'll be helping us close the place down this

week and I thought maybe you might show her around.

Sure thing.

Hi, I'm Randy.

She's Cherry and I'd like her to stay

that way so if it's not too much trouble...

Yeah, yeah, no problem.

I was gonna take a break in a minute and I was wanting

to know if you wanted to go for a spin around the rink.

Oh no, Cherry isn't interested in skating, are you dear?

Oh, she'll leave that to you.

Maybe. Now, now, you're far too clumsy for that, my dear.

She's got a one-way ticket to becoming a dental hygienist, don't you?

I don't know.

Molars not rollers.

Drills not thrills.

Cavities not depravities.

All right then, that's settled.

I don't really think it'd be a problem.

No skating!

Oh, I will be in my office packing if you kids need anything.

Remember...

Enough skating.

Promise?

You two have a wonderful night.

Ah, come on, that was just a quick spin around the rink.

Are you crazy?

I couldn't.

You heard her.

Besides, I don't even know how to skate.

There he is!

What?

The little man!

He was right over there!

The little man?

Yes, he was running right over...

There couldn't possibly be a little man running around in here, could there?

Maybe I'm a little more jet-lagged than I thought.

I know what it is.

You do?

Yeah, you just need to blow off a little steam.

Here, come on, I'll show you.

-It's easy. -I'd better not.

Look how crowded the dance floor is.

She'll never even see you.

Really?

Come with me.

Sandy, you're getting me all wet!

I know you love it, Fox Lady!

Washing cars is fun!

Oh yeah!

Let's do this!

Oh, dear!

Oh!

And after that, I'm gonna buy 10 Pet Rocks and a Shetland pony named Farrah.

Then I'm gonna marry a Bay City roller.

Those guys are fat.

You ever say that again, you can forget watching me compete

in the Battle of the Network Stars when I'm a famous actress.

Ew, sorry.

Can I ask you a question?

What? Do you ever think we're going to be

able to skate without this stupid railing?

Of course we will.

A digital calculator?

We've been coming here all summer.

Seems like we would have learned something by now.

Be patient, Pickles.

We're not going to become championship skaters overnight.

We'll make our mark.

Everybody gets their turn underneath the disco ball.

Oh, that's it, baby!

You're soakin' in it!

Huh?

Danger Hydro!

Hydrochloric acid!

You bitches look so hot, I almost can't do what I know I'm about to do!

Almost!

Come with me I can't we shouldn't be doing

this Take my hand you can do this.

All right, you should be dancing

Take a chance on me.

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Oh my god, Timmy, you look so beautiful tonight.

I've never seen anybody skate like you.

Fuck off, lady.

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Woo!

How much money have we raised?

Oh, let me check!

Two dollars!

What?

How many cars have we washed?

One!

Yeah, and it's Trixie!

Some hose for the hose!

That's it!

Let her wash over you!

-Great job. -Did I do okay?

Heck yeah, you're a super freak.

Thanks.

I'm gonna go grab us a couple of cold chastas.

Okay.

Oh, way to go.

Yeah, talk about your fast learners.

-Thanks. -I'm Coco. -And I'm Yoko.

I'm Cherry.

You've got the moves, woman.

Yeah, and it looks like Randy's got his eye on you.

Me?

Oh, no.

Someone as perfect as him would never go for someone as plain as me.

Are you kidding?

His date is some real pigs in his time.

-Mm-hmm. -You're exactly his type.

All you need is a little disco dust to fix you up.

What do you mean?

A roller boogie makeover?

Come on.

When we're done with you, you'll be crowned the last roller boogie queen.

Really? Uh-huh. Maybe it's true what they say about saving the best for last.

About time we got some new blood around here.

If it's new blood you want, well then it's new blood you'll get.

-hoo-hoo!

Ah, the smell of womanhood and melting flesh!

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I don't care.

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You look like the roller disco diva girl.

Yeah, now let's go out there and get you that crown But my

aunt will surprise her with a new you Now go ahead turn around

Don't come back!

What happened?

That was weird.

Hey, you guys are right.

Let's get out of here and go skiing.

Okay.

Oh, I crack myself up.

Well, better get out of here before the fuzz gets here.

Whee!

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I'm tripping my brains out, peaches.

Make love to me now.

Okay.

Shh.

Maybe we shouldn't.

All the melting watercolor ballerinas and

flying aquatic creatures might see us.-ha-ha!

Ah!

Shh, peaches.

A hideous demon has risen from hell.

And it's headed right for us.

Let's go hide in that magical cave over there.

Yes, quick!

We gotta turn invisible first.

Go on.

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Oh, yeah, coming to cop a

squat, honey buns Who's there?

Oh, come on, don't be shy bend over and show me that big fat

ass Where are you take off your underpants and strut around for me?

Oh Oh, yeah, I see

That's it come a little closer I got a snack cake for you

Well, well, well, what have we here?

Why don't you come on over here and nibble on it for me?

Let go of me, you fucking cunt!

-Come back here! -Come on!

Oh!

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You look beautiful.

So do you.

Skate with me?

Mmm, I'm voting for her.

Yeah, I'm picking that chick.

Whoa, she cleans up real good.

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That little whore.

Attention everyone!

I can't tell you how it warms my heart to so clearly see

you all down there skating and having a good time, even

though some of you made a distinct promise that you would not.

And don't forget, you still have five more

minutes to vote for the final Roller Boogie Queen.

Oh, Christ, what's that broad livin' on, sawdust?

Ugh!

I'm so busted.

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my

heart for giving this old broad a wonderful life.

And I can't wait to see what's in store

for all of you once the music finally ends.

Cherry Wright to the management office, please.

Cherry Wright to the management office.

She saw me.

You'll be all right.

The walls are throbbing.

So am I, butterfly.

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Ugh.

NICE VIEW!

Heh heh heh heh heh!

Heh heh heh heh!

Woohoo!

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death

Yes?

You wanted to see me?

My, my, my.

Don't we look festive?

The rollercoasters gave me a makeover.

Well, aren't they the lucky ones?

Sit.

synergy baby come on hammer me hammer me

What the hell are you two doing in here?

High.

Yeah, real high.

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You're sexy.

Yeah.

What's up, stud?

Looks like you two could use some company.

Yeah, come join us.

Oh yeah!

I'll take it!

Oh God!

And I thought I was found!

So, you think you can defy me by painting yourself up like a

shameless trollop and going out there and making me look like a fool?

I'm not a trollop, Aunt Trixie.

I was just skating.

Just skating?

Just skating?

Need I remind you that you're sitting there

talking to a woman whose pelvis is held together

with a screw and duct tape because she was just skating!

You're a hypocrite!

If you hate skating so much, then why do you own a roller boogie?

Well, you little bitch!

Ah!

Listen to me!

They're all going to laugh at you!

They're all going to laugh at you!

Oh boy, if I had a cock, I'd join in on that!

Looks like everybody around here is looking to get nailed!

I think I can accommodate them with that!

Yeah, that's it boys!

Hammer me!

Hammer me!

Your wish is my command!

If you build it, they will come!

Oh, baby, I'm so hot, I can't feel my arms.

Feels so good.

Suck on this!

The fish!

Why do you hate skating so much?

It was 1941.

FDR was in office, and the Japs were on a rampage throughout the Pacific.

While our boys had gone off to war to fight the

good fight, we girls stayed home and did our best.

I'd been skating since I was a kid, and I found myself

more comfortable on wheels than I was on my own two feet.

It was about that time the circus came to town,

and I found myself barrel jumping to make ends meet.

I was an instant sensation.

Before I knew it, I landed in the USO performing for the troops.

The boys loved me, especially FDR himself, who

invited me to a special sunrise performance in Oahu, Hawaii.

Everything was in place.

It was standing room only.

The sun began to rise behind me as I took my position.

The crowd went berserk.

They were chanting my name over and over as I

took a running start and launched myself into the air.

It was about that time the first bomb hit.

The barrel scattered as I hurled myself across the marble patio.

And as I laid there looking up, all I could

see were the Japanese Zeros flying overhead.

I hit the ground like a bag of wet cement,

shattering my pelvis along with the dreams of a mighty nation.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that had I not been performing that morning, December

7, 1941, every last one of those sailors would have been manning

their battle stations, and Pearl Harbor never would have happened.

So you see, that's why you can't skate, Cherry.

Not now.

Not ever.

I'm sorry about your past, Aunt Trixie.

I really am.

But I found my calling.

Your calling?

In four hours, those doors are going to close forever.

I think we both know what your calling is.

Wait!

Don't go.

Stay.

We'll burn that dress and pray together.

I'm skating in that roller boogie contest, Aunt Trixie.

I'm skating, and you can't stop me.

Cherry!

And I don't want to talk about it anymore

No problem.

Do a little dance, make a lot of love, come here, homicide tonight!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit! Harshmit! Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit!

Harshmit! Harshmit! Harshmit!

It's time to announce the nominees for

this years Roller Boogie Queen contest of 1976.

Is it you, Horseman?

Who said that?

I'll deal with you later, Buster Brown.

Where the hell is my remote?!

What?

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Pop those wings off!

Sherry!

You'd better get out on the dance floor.

You never know.

I'd like to ask the lovely young nominees to please scape to the

stage to receive the honor And also to accept a complimentary

roller boogie sash courtesy of Jaworski's Fine

Weeds Do I look all right?

Yeah, you're one hot twat, babe Our

first nominee is Miss Ann Morgenstern

You should take a step right back there, sweetheart.

Our next nominee, Miss Betty Sue Richards.

I don't think anyone's going to be

surprised at all by the nomination of this candidate.

She's a real classy lady, not to mention a dazzling crowd favorite.

Our own little angel in satin.

The girl who's wheeled her way into all of our hearts.

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your

hands together for the lovely...

Sherry Wright!

Oh, shit.

Oh, and four-time winner Tammy Pimentel.

Oh, gosh.

I told myself I wasn't going to cry.

First, I would like to thank my Lord and Savior.

And I want to let you all know, it doesn't matter if I win.

It's an honor just to be nominated.

Put a sock in it, Pimento.

I will never forget this night.

Beat it.

Oh, yeah.

That's right. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to

present our Roller Boogie Queen Court for 1976.

Here they are.

Give them a big hand.

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Congratulations!

Go over there and see who's gonna win that contest.

How am I supposed to do that?

I don't care what you have to do.

Just do it!

-Congratulations. -Thanks.

Hey, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure.

I know you don't know me very well, but do I seem weird to you?

No, why?

I'm right.

I am seeing something running around this place.

Like what?

This is gonna sound really stupid.

It's a gingerbread man.

A gingerbread man?

Ha ha ha ha!

Heee!

Whoosh!

Oh.

Time for more fun!

Hee hee hee hee hee hee!

Oh.

Oh.

He was right there.

He?

It was.

It leaped out of me from behind those boxes right there.

A gingerbread man.

I believe something jumped out at you.

I mean, maybe it was a rat or something.

Or maybe somebody drugged you.

Or not.

Okay.

How about we both just keep our eyes open?

Well, that was certainly no surprise.

Oh!

It's all very exciting.

Would you excuse me for a moment?

Well, certainly my dear.

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She's gonna win.

What?

By a landslide.

That's not possible.

Oh, it's possible, babe.

See, you only got three votes, so counting you and me,

that means PJ's the only other one that voted for you.

Son of a bitch!

That's it.

Go get a phone book.

Why?

Because we need to find ourselves an all-night pig farm.

Huh?

Oh!

Hehehehehehe

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Amazing!

SHUT IT!

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Girl he is so into you this night has really been a dream come true

Uh-oh.

Here comes your worst nightmare.

Hey there.

Oh my god, Yoko.

Work it, girl.

And Coco, you look just like a Nubian princess.

Tammy Pimento.

I'm Cherry.

Of course you are.

I love your hair.

You look fabulous tonight.

It's amazing how popular she's become

since she's changed her looks and personality.

Yeah, she's really arrived.

You're such a great skater.

Your aunt must be so proud of you.

It's just too bad that you didn't get here till the very last night.

Thanks.

May the best girl win.

Good luck.

Good luck.

You're gonna need it.

Where are you going?

My work is done here wouldn't want the party to end too soon

Time for a little disco genocide

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it's time to crack the whip!

Better yet, let's crack some skulls!

There you are.

I wanted to introduce you to a couple friends of mine, Tux and Peaches, but...

I can't seem to find them anywhere.

Randy!

Have you seen Connie, Sandy, or Doreen?

No.

This is weird.

Where is everybody?

What are you doing?

I can't do this.

They're all going to laugh at me.

What are you talking about?

They're all going to laugh at me.

This is all a big joke on the new girl, isn't it?

Joke? You're one of the best skaters I've ever seen.

-You're a natural. -I'm a freak.

There's magic spinning from those wheels, Cherry.

Randy, there's something you need to know about me.

I'm different.

Yeah, you are.

You've got it going on.

I've got nothing but an aunt with a swollen eye and a broken heart.

No.

What you have, my dear, is a gift.

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Can I get a

This oughta clear you out!

Ah!

There you go, Hoover!

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WAIT FOR THE MELT, BABY!

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Man, little Angel really teared it up tonight.

She's like a rabid dog when she gets in that DJ booth.

Cherry no!

I'm sorry I let you down Aunt Trixie.

You were right.

Oh no, my dear.

I let me down.

I let us all down.

Oh, let's face it.

I'm a bitter old lush.

If I hadn't spent all those drunken nights up at

the Indian Casino, I would still have the money to

pay the back taxes and this place wouldn't be closing.

More importantly, you would have a place to roller boogie forever.

Roller boogie?

-But I thought... -Don't speak.

Forget what I said.

I was wrong, Cherry.

You were right.

I've been a hypocrite.

But...

No buts.

When I saw you out there, I couldn't help

but see a magical reflection of my former self.

It was as if I was looking into a mirror.

Well, that is, before the shattered hip and the bankruptcy issues.

Excuse me, boss, I...

And not now, Ingrid.

But it's really important... I said give me a second, you horrible woman.

I want you to put those skates back on and get out there and win that crown.

Not for me.

Not for you.

Do it for those brave boys

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of the bay.

Thank you, Aunt Trixie.

Now get out there and roller boogie.

Yes, Ingrid, what is it?

What could possibly be so important?

You have my undivided attention.

What is it?

I'm sorry to interrupt, Chief, but it appears

there's been a triple homicide in the janitor's sanctuary.

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What's that queen up to?

A wise guy!

Thank you.

Good God, Ingrid, what kind of monster could commit such a massacre?

It appears they were murdered while

participating in some sort of a multi-generational-a-trois.

Yes, I can see that.

My God, would you look at what's left of Busby?

Sweet Jesus, he was hung like a Clydesdale.

Never mind, we must alert the authorities immediately.

Yes, and we will, just as soon as we crown the final Roller Boogie Queen.

This night means the world to my cherry,

and let's face it, they're not going anywhere.

-Yeah, but boss... -No buts.

We will call for a squad car the moment the winner is announced.

Yes, Chief.

In the meantime, you lock this place up as

tight as a drum, and whatever you do, act natural.

All done.

Good boy.

Tonight, we're gonna paint this town red.

With blood.

Oh!

Hehehehehehehehe... Oh, oh, get careful now!

Gah!

Attention everyone!

The time has come for the crowning of our final Roller Boogie Queen!

Will the nominees please step up to the stage and join us?

I must say that this moment is very bittersweet for me.

I hope you get it.

Thanks.

Wait, wait, I see a train.

Well, there they are, skaters!

Please give it up for our court of music!

Hey, lovely!

Such a special night for me no matter the outcome

to go out knowing that my Sweet cherry has made

her way into the winner's circle does my old heart good

And now, the results.

Not only will the winner tonight be crowned by our very own Lady

of the Court, Miss Ingrid Harshman, but she will be awarded with

a special, fabulous gift package containing cash and prizes,

including a Mr. Microphone, Ronco's Pocket Fisherman, a case of

Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific, and a pair of delightful rainbow toesaws.

Drumroll, please.

♪

♪

And the winner is...

-Chariot! -Right!

♪

What are you doing?

Did you see what's going on?

No, I don't see anything except you causing trouble.

Now, get the hell out of here!

Geronimo!

Oh!

Night-night!

Congratulations, Terry!

It's all for you!

The bowels of hell itself!

It's a homicidal confectionary treat!

Everybody run!

Run, run, run!

As fast as you can!

Eat me!

A gingerbread man at your service, my bicentennial bitch!

I hope all you motherfuckers are hungry, cause it's time for you to eat!

Oh my God, no!

What do I do?

You know what to do.

You've always known what to do.

You have gifts that go far beyond the roller boogie, Cherry.

Use them now.

Use them as if your life depends upon it.

As if it does.

Now, Cherry!

Kill that bastard!

Sleep tight, you old cunt!

There's magic spinning from those wheels, too.

Bring it on, crazy eyes!

Thank you!

You know, I always hated Tammy.

She was such a bitch.

I totally voted for you, I swear.

Put a cork in it, you whore!

Step right up!

Who's ready for some more sugar?

Do something, Jerry!

♪

Let's burn it down!

Pretty pretty!

Woohoo!

Whoa!

Disco Inferno!

How do I look so cute?

Oh my god, what color lipstick is that?

It's stocking pink.

-Can I try it? -Oh, yeah, totally

Oh, don't act so shocked!

Hahaha, don't act so shocked!

-Get it? -Get me a job!

Is this a killer night or what?

TGIF!

BURN, BABY, BURN!

Bye, bye!

Smoke if you got him!

Sorry, lady!

I cracked myself up!

-Ah! -Ah! Ah!

Don't even think of trying any of that spooky horseshit on me, honeybuns!

Looks like this'll be a 1976 you'll never forget!

Well, that is until I finish you off!

Attention ginger dead man!

Hold on to your cookies!

No, I have no shit!

Freeze!

This can't be good!

Tina Jaworski, time traveler.

And her trusty sidekick, Pickles.

Shut up, Pickles.

We're back from a little trip through time.

Front ways and back.

Yeah, and, uh, we've seen all the trouble you caused.

Oh, come on, kiddies.

I'm just a friendly gingerbread man.

I wouldn't hurt a flea.

Now give me back my water pistols.

Sit on it, you cookie creep.

Oh, shit.

Fun time is over.

We brought back a few friends to help even the score.

Well, bring it on, you little butt biscuit.

When I'm done with you, I'll give you a

tummy ache that'll be legendary even in hell.

We'll see about that.

Ginger Dead Man, meet...

Your blade off hit me.

Charles Manson Let's do something witchy.

Uh-oh.

Jeffrey Dahmer.

What's for supper?

Holy...

Might I ask what year it is?

And you do remember me, Mr. Ginger Dead Man, sir.

Clarissa Darling here.

And, sorry, but none of us saved room for dessert.

How could I forget?

It's time for you to go home, you crummy little bastard.

Check, please!

Get him!

Slow down, I can explain everything.

You see, my daddy didn't hug me when I was little.

What are you doing?

Oh, no, you assholes!

I'm one of you!

I'm one of the bad guys!

Put me down!

This is an outrage!

This is...

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow!

I'm in the union!

I'm in the union!

I'm one of you!

Put me down! Put me down!

Ow!

Ow!

Aah!

Oh!

Not the cookie jar!

Not the cookie jar!

Oh!

-Help! -Help! -Help! Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

I'll see you all in hell!

We did it!

You did!

You all did!

And I want to thank you all so very much for saving the day.

Well, sort of.

I mean, it would have been nice if you could have arrived a little earlier.

Um, excuse me, Ms.

-Wright? -Yes, dear child?

Don't forget, you have a time machine.

-But... -No buts.

I just went back in time and warned Ms.

Darling what was about to happen, so the ginger dead man never escaped.

And none of this ever happened.

Oh

By the way, what's this a lottery ticket on the way back?

We check tomorrow's newspaper Congratulations, you are a millionaire

And Gizco will live forever!

Sure it will!

LET'S SPRAWL OUR BUNNIES!

♪

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♪

I told you everyone gets their turn underneath the mirror ball.

Mind if I hitch a ride?

But Aunt Trixie, we need you here.

This is all yours now, sweet cherry.

Where are you going?

I have a little unfinished business back in 1941.

Goodbye, Aunt Trixie.

I'll never forget you.

Take care of each other, and stay away from sweets.

Aloha, everyone!

Aloha!

All right, everybody, you ready to go back home?

And behave yourselves!

Cowabunga!

I'M CITIZEN!

Peace out, motherfuckers!

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