Original subtitles

[♪ musical swirl ♪]

Ethan

hurry up...

We just need

20 more rubies, Emily.

Then we can leave.

That creepy dot is getting closer!

Who, me?

[evil laughter]

Aaaaah!!!

It's a

It's a

Oh

yeah!

A rock?

[chuckling]

I'm sorry, how is that scary?

Wha-!

Rocks are super scary.

We chip windshields,

we get stuck in shoes,

and sometimes wrestle!

I'm what they call

a triple threat.

Now hand over the rubies

or I'll be forced to do

THIS!

Aaaah!

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Oh yeah, oh...

Is that how you think

rock stars dance?

What's the matter

can't handle my

geological gyrations? (laughing)

Can't you just threaten our lives?

Eh

fine with me.

Let's go!

Oh-ho-ho.

You got wheels?

But this rock can roll!

[evil laugh]

Owwww! Ohhh...

Ohhhh...

Not the face, not the face!

Not the face!

Not the face, not the face...

Ugh! How is he so fast?!

[yelping]

Emily!

[gasp]

I've

got

you

now!

Jump!!!

Aaaaaah!!!

Aaaah!

Let's go!

[gasping]

The hidden Ruby Cave of Rubies!

Legends have only whispered

of the great ruby treasure hidden here.

[gasp]

Mom?

Who would keep a statue of Mom?

This rock-a-feller.

Oh snap.

[battle cry]

Aaaah!!!

[evil laughter]

[inhale]

Ha! Smell what I'm cooking!

Oh yeah, oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

Dad....

Oh!

You should've seen your faces

I've been owning noobs like you

since college.

You two didn't stand a chance!

Moneycraft!

The game where you mine wealth

and sometimes

throw kids into volcanoes

You can't let us win like

one time?

Mm-mm.

He says that would make us real life losers.

Eugene

are you really gloating that you beat the twins?

Yes... Yes!

Without me?

What?

♪ Moneycraft! ♪

♪ The game where you mine wealth ♪

♪ and sometimes ♪

♪ throw kids ♪

♪ into volcanoes! ♪

Oh come on!

I love yard sales!

One dad's old stuff...

Is another twin's college fund!

or another twin's funding

for a film about

unemployed college grads!

Either way

if you're gonna sell my old stuff

I wanna make sure the money is going to something valuable.

[sigh]

We never did manage to beat this game.

Morning, Tuttles.

I didn't realize they

picked up the trash

on Saturdays.

It's not trash.

It's a yard sale.

Whatever you say--

[gasp]

Is that a retro Moneycraft gaming system?

The game where you collect wealth

and sometimes throw kids into volcanoes?!

Eh...

I'll give you ten dollars for it.

I'm not sure...

Twenty?

Eh...

Fifty!

This is

pretty rare

maybe we'll just hold on to it.

Fine, I'll give you $100 dollars for it

final offer!

Oh cool!

A retro Moneycraft

gaming system?

I'll match

whatever she's offering

but in

Bitcoin.

[crickets chirping]

Bitcoin!

You mean that made up money?

Isn't it basically just...

Air?

No! Wait...

How did she get past my anti-Karinne booby traps?

[raccoon yelping]

Well that's what my father said.

You really want made up money?

Or all of this...?

Uhhh...

I'm gonna need a decision in the next five minutes.

I... got a date with the skate park.

Ha-woah-woah!

Hoo!

And I'm walking away in five minutes too because...

Ultimatums!

[confident grunting]

Woah!

[car alarm]

I mean how is Bitcoin any better than cash

if it's just made up money?

All money is made up.

Then what makes money

you know

good?

Hold that thought I need to buy more traps for intruders

think your parents would be ok with a

20-foot pit in the front yard?

Ah, forgiveness not permission.

Ok, dale twins!

We'll just be...

four minutes.

Hmmm...

Where to, Grandma?

back to ancient Rome?

or maybe we'll blast off

to a dimension

where toys rule the Earth

and humans are their playthings!

Play with me.

That's is the most disturbing thing I've ever heard.

I just need help with my online shopping for traps.

Last time I accidentally ordered

tramps.

Well hey!

Thanks again!

Anyway...

I need to connect to the world wide web!

[old dial-up computer sounds]

You figured out quantum physics

but you can't connect to wifi?

it's dial up!

Derek!

get off the landline!

[raccoon sounds]

Derek!

[angry raccoon sounds]

Finally!

Now I just need to check my AOL.

[groaning]

Aaaah!!

Woah!

What's up with the time tunnel?

This isn't the time tunnel.

it's the internet!

the place where freedom thrives!

is that the government

spying on someone through their webcam?

Hmm...

Hey, creepo!

Ow!

[groan] I guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way...

Ok kids

help Grandma find karinnetraps.com.

Last time I tried

I went to karinneraps.com

and that girl has NO flow.

♪ My name is Karinne and I'm here to say ♪

♪ government surveillance is the price we all have to pay. ♪

♪ The NSA is here to stay. ♪

Sing it!

So you kids are tech savvy

where can I buy some traps around here?

We've never been inside the internet before.

Ugh, generation Z

fine, I'll ask my guy.

Vamos!

I know a guy that can help us.

But stay close

don't talk to anyone

and whatever you do

don't mention investment opportunities.

HEY!

Wanna hear about an investment opportunity?

[grunt]

[screaming]

Hey, Gabbby!

Hola, Expensive Pizza.

[chuckling in awe]

Wow.

Oh, cool!

Want drink?

Much wow!

Want more drink?

Much more wow.

[growling]

[barking]

[whistling]

[whistle]

I'm more than just a picture, man.

I'm a revolution.

Did you just screenshot me bro?

[grunting]

Is that all you got?

Woaaah!!

(speaking Spanish) Wait a moment.

[gasp]

Satoshi!

Gabby!

How did you find me?

The same way I found my lost dentures.

Ugh!

Smell.

You smell like dentures.

Hey now.

Listen

I need someone to help me navigate the URLs.

The internet has changed a lot

since I invented it with Al Gore.

[laughing]

Just kidding, he did nothing.

Well, I am quite savvy on the interwebs.

Twins, this is Satoshi Nakamoto

brilliant innovator,

disruptor,

and the anonymous inventor of Zitcoin.

It's... Bitcoin.

Oh...

It's not named for your acne?

Hey, you can't prove I have that!

After inventing Zit-

Bitcoin...

Satoshi disappeared

and hasn't been heard of since 2010.

Well we won't ask you about your identity

or how many zits you have

but we do need to ask you

an important question.

Ok so we're kinda torn whether to sell our vintage game

for dollars or Bitcoin

which one's better?

Hmmm, I could tell you

or I could show you

because we're in the internet!

[meow]

[meowing]

Whoopsie!

this is the early internet.

Long before we used paper money

people used things like...

seashells.

That makes sense.

They're so beautiful.

And they make amazing swimsuits!

Oh, my eyes!

This brilliant Algongquin nation

would make beads called wampum

out of seashells.

When Europeans arrived

the Algonquins often traded with them

using the wampum as money

the wampum was an excellent choice for currency

because it was hard.

Good money is hard?

We should use my gummy bears!

They've been in my pockets for weeks!

Ooh, ow!

Uhh...

No.

When I say "hard"

I mean it's hard to get

or create.

The gummy bears aren't just a terrible idea

because they're gross.

Hey!

But...

they're a terrible idea 'cause they're way too easy to make.

Well what's stopping the Algonquin people

from just making a million beads?

Only a limited number of shells

show up on the ocean floor

each year.

I got one!

And

each wampum bead was crafted by hand

which took a lot of time

and skill.

So when Ahanu

trades his furs for beads

his hard work of hunting

is being represented

by something equally hard.

Money that's hard to make

keeps its value.

That's great!

The wampum sounds like a perfect form of money!

The Europeans thought so.

Until things changed.

When specialized tools arrived from Europe

making wampum quickly

became easy.

The Europeans also began to create

fake wampum

without seashells

using other materials like stone

or glass.

Suddenly the beads Ahanu saved

weren't worth much for trade with Europe.

When money became easy to make

all its trade value washed away.

Okay

so we need money that's hard to find.

Uh...

What about gold?

A good idea.

Gold is rare

and hard to mine.

But because gold was heavy and hard to carry...

[grunt]

Governments started using paper money

that represented gold

stored in a big vault.

Oh...

like a coupon

where you redeem $5 of paper money

for $5 of gold.

Exactly!

The government couldn't print more money

without mining more gold

and it worked great!

People built wealth.

Society thrived!

Paper money makes so much sense!

But then governments became greedy

and instead of making the same amount of paper money as gold

they just started printing new money out of thin air.

Paper money makes no sense!

People worked their whole lives

saving paper money...

Only to lose everything

to inflation

when the government made creating money easy.

That sounds like the wampum seashells

all over again!

[sigh]

when money is easy to make

society begins to break.

So

how do we make money

that's easy to carry

but hard to create.

Well one solution is...

Bitcoin.

Back in 2008

I became fed up with government money.

With the corruption,

the manipulation.

So I created a digital currency.

Money you keep

on a computer

right?

Exactly.

Digital money that can be sent directly

from on person to another

without any bank or government involved.

And the best part?

It's hard money.

Huh?

The guy who dissed my gummy bears

thinks computer money is hard.

It's the hardest money

ever invented!

Bitcoin is very hard to make more of.

Each new coin gets added to the supply

only after a computer works very hard to solve a math problem.

Where there's no shortcut

and solving it costs a lot of energy and time.

Ok, but if it's on a computer...

Can't I just copy and paste?

Huh?

[angry raccoon sounds]

Not with Bitcoin.

You see

there's a public record of every bitcoin ever created.

It's called

the blockchain.

It's like a puzzle

and each bitcoin has its own unique shape.

and because everyone has a copy of the public record.

if someone tries to fake a bitcoin...

It won't fit the puzzle.

And will be rejected by the network

before anyone can use it.

[groan]

That's why Bitcoin is so safe from criminals

and the government.

Ha! you said criminals twice.

And unlike dollars

which can be printed endlessly

there will only ever be

21 million bitcoin.

It's almost impossible

to inflate.

The only way to get it

is to earn it

or buy it from someone who has.

Ah-ha!

No offense

but if you control Bitcoin

couldn't you manipulate it just like the government?

I don't control it

no one person does.

It's controlled by a public network of Bitcoin users

that anyone can join.

So if someone wanted to change something

in Bitcoin's code

They would need to get the majority of the

millions of Bitcoin users to agree to it.

or the change doesn't happen.

And when has the majority of us

agreed on anything?

One ply toilet paper is garbage.

Touché.

Wow

I didn't know made up money

could make so much sense.

Today

millions of people send bitcoin instantly

and cheaply to each other

around the world

without any bank or government involved.

And because Bitcoin is hard money

you can't just print more of

The more people who use it

the more valuable it becomes.

Emily

if we take Lyle's bitcoin

we could be rich!

I could pay for college entirely!

You could outsource your movie

and pay to have your name in the credits!

Slow down.

I'm not saying that Bitcoin will make your rich quick

or even at all.

Right now

only about 1% of the world

owns bitcoin.

And because it's still being adopted

some days it goes up

and even down.

Also

investments

though potentially lucrative

can be risky.

Only invest what you're willing to lose.

We know.

Wow, I think I get it.

Good money should be easy to use

but hard to create.

And because Bitcoin is digital

it's fast and cheap to use

and the blockchain makes it hard to inflate!

Thanks Mr. Satoshi!

What?!

Mr. Satoshi?

He's gone?

Or was he ever even here?

Oh! Ugh!

Smells like dentures

yep he was here!

Grandma

I think we know our decision!

Definitely!

Perfect!

Ooooh a pop up!

Let's click it!

No wait!

Grandma!

Nooooo!!!

Whoa!

[gasping]

Ooh, a ruby...

[gasp]

Are we in...

Moneycraft!

My favorite!

Wait, Grandma

you play Moneycraft?

Me and Satoshi have been playing since 2010.

Why do you think he disappeared?

We're obsessed!

I'm a level 100 tycoon!

Yeah well, we love it too but

we really don't have time for this right now.

Lyle's out there.

We're in here

and in a few minutes

the deal is off and we lose our chance

to make any money!

Can't you just blast us

back to reality?

Sorry

but video game wheelchairs

don't have enough power

to blast into different dimensions.

I don't make the rules.

How are we gonna get out of here?!

Emily...

If we wanna get out of here

I think we need

to beat the game!

But...

Every time we've played

we've lost!

No pressure

just win

or we get stuck in here forever

like Drewmanji over there.

Hi Gabby...

Drew.

Alright

we can do this

we just need to fill up our wealth bars

before the game timer runs out.

So... conveniently

ten seconds before Lyle leaves.

Yes, Emily, it's called a ticking clock

and it adds a sense of urgency to move our narrative forward!

Okay

Moneycraft actually has a great money system.

The currency here is rubies...

Which are really hard to mine

keeping the value stable.

Yes.

Our wealth bars are almost full.

If we could just

find a few more rubies

I think we're there!

And without Dad here to stop us

there's nothing to slow us down.

Hmm...

The twins won't mind if we do a little test run?

"Try before you buy" am I right?

Move

over!

[gasping]

I've got a trick that'll help me crush this game!

Up-up

down-down

left-right-left-right

B, A and...

Start!

[gasping]

[laughing]

Infinite money glitch!

[laughing]

Oh no!

Karinne's copying the rubies!

Since the money isn't hard to create anymore

the rubies are losing their value!

She's making herself richer!

While making everyone else poorer.

When money's easy to make

society begins to break!

Ugh.

This is just like the tickets at the carnival.

Did she learn nothing?

I've learned nothing!

[evil laughter]

[coughing]

Aaah!!

[coughing] Just like the government

printing trillions of dollars

in the [cough] real world.

Sorry, I had to clear my throat.

Just like the government

printing trillions of dollars in the real world!

We have to find hard money to use instead.

And we need to do it fast!

Moneycraft...

You're about to get

bitcoined!

Finally!

Hit it, Derek!

What!

You knew where this bitcoin mine was the whole time?

If gave you all the answers

that would make you into real life losers!

Ah! Karinne's wealth bar is almost full!

[exhausted sigh]

[angry mob sounds]

Puny villagers think you can come after me

Try this on for size...

[whistling]

[rumbling]

You summoned me?

I need you to keep an ungrateful mob at bay

while I copy more rubies for their but mostly my benefit.

Ha-ha!

Rock on!

[grunting]

[grunting]

Keep going, we gotta be close!

Awww... That's it?

Ha!

Good luck getting rich off of that measly counterfeit coin.

It's working!

Look!

Even the non player characters are mining bitcoin!

[angry mob sounds]

And the more people who use it

the higher its value will grow!

We're almost there!

We're solving the money problem.

And unlike the rubies

our bitcoin is actually holding its value.

But...

We still have a Karinne problem.

Why won't you NPCs accept my rubies?

To heck your worthless rubies.

I'm out of here!

[groaning]

What the heck?

[shrugging]

Maybe I need to put the cheat code back in?

Here

give me a bitcoin and you can have my whole bag of rubies.

I'll just copy this too...

Oh no!

She's trying to hack the system!

Okay.

Copy...!

Paste!

No!!!

[laughing] Yes!

[evil laughter]

What?!

She can't manipulate or copy the money!

Copy, paste!

Copy, paste!!!

The only way for her to get it

is to mine it

or buy it just like everyone else.

It's hard to make

and it can't be messed with

by power-hungry people like Karinne.

Now that's what I call

hard money!

What?!

Ugh!

Here!

Take your ridiculous, uninflateable money!

Yes! We did it!

We finally beat Moneycraft!

And just in time!

Emily, look!

Awww...

They're giving Karinne a hug--

Oh no!

What?!

Unhand me peasants!

You can't just--

No, no!

Aaah!!!

No!

Aaah!!!

[belching]

Yayyyyyy!!

♪ Moneycraft! ♪

♪ The game where you mine wealth ♪

♪ and sometimes throw kids ♪

♪ into volcanoes! ♪

Did you get that from

karinnetraps.com?

I'll take one, please!

Man, I love this game.

And we didn't just fill up our own wealth bars

the whole town is thriving!

So a little twin boy and girl characters attacked you?

Well

in a way...

They changed the money to some

highly secure

peer-to-peer digital money

while I was trying to peaceably

rob everyone!

Peer-to-peer digital currency...

that sounds a lot like...

Lyle!

Karinne!

We made it back!

From...

the house?

Yes...

And we've made our decision.

Oh good.

So, are you going to take the real money...

or the made up money?

Real! Made up!

Uh...

Made up! Real!

Sorry.

We're both trying to say the same thing.

Look.

Lots of things can make money

good or bad.

but we want our college savings

slash film fund

to gain value over time.

The U.S. dollar's easy money and

Bitcoin is hard.

Easy money loses value over time

and hard money gains.

So Lyle...

The game is yours.

Yeah-ha!

[growling]

Well

have fun with your

fake money!

We will!

Dah!

You win this round!

(raccoon gibberish)

Huh.

Raaaaaaaaahhhh!!!