Original subtitles

Ah, okay.

Okay, we cool?

We good, we recording?

Awesome.

I don't get it.

I just don't get it.

Look, I put the memory chip thing in the camera, right?

I press record, good, good.

And then I start the vlog.

It was a little weird at first, I'll be honest.

It was just, I was trying to get the hang of it. You know?

I never really talked to a camera like that before

or ever really.

But I started to get the groove.

I'm like finding my way through my thoughts or whatever.

And at some point I'm like, oh, hey, you know what?

I'm pretty good with this, I'm actually pretty happy.

Oh, hey, ooh, I'm happy.

I'm also kind of hungry too.

I realize that recently that I always eat when I'm happy.

Like how some people boredom eat, I actually happy eat.

I associate food with happiness, I shouldn't do that.

But back to the original.

So like, eventually I'm like, oh, hey,

I'm good with this vlog thing.

I think I'm ready to go get somebody to eat.

I turn the camera off.

I put the chip the, the memory chip again,

I didn't go get chips.

I put the memory chip in the computer

to put the video on it, right?

And when I put it in the computer's like,

"hey, do you wanna format this to this?"

And I'm like, yeah, obviously I want to do that

and make my life easier and whatnot.

Apparently, when you put the format,

the chip to the computer,

it actually changes the chip and deletes everything on it.

Everything gone, just like that.

All that time wasted.

I found out when I got back.

I went to buddy's.

I just realized,

this is probably a better way to start it anyways.

Oh.

♪ All your love that you took away ♪

♪ Seems to me I can't seem to find the time of day ♪

♪ I'm waiting for love ♪

♪ I'm waiting for love ♪

I should probably explain myself.

As in, I should explain

me, I guess.

Who am I?

Where am I?

Why am I?

Is, uh, hi, my name is Ben Boucher.

I'm 18.

I just graduated from high school.

I like long walks on the baseball diamond, I guess,

'cause that's the only place in this town

you're gonna find sand.

That's a pretty good explanation of where I am though.

Ain't no beaches or anything else of note

to anybody with a brain

or at least a cte-less brain.

A town that means nothing to nobody.

And you probably wouldn't even care if I told you, so.

What else?

Oh, yeah, so another question

I'm sure you're probably asking is,

why am I starting a vlog?

Well, I mean, I assume you're asking that

because, well, I guess you could have just been bored

and just came across us for no real-

I don't know, maybe you don't care, wouldn't be surprised.

Why did I set this up in the fridge?

No, but okay, all right, the real answer is,

well, what else am I supposed to do with this thing?

My estranged father gives me this camera

as a graduation present.

This is what I'm doing with it, all right?

He's not estranged, he lives across the country

and I almost never see him.

Okay, so he's estranged.

But that doesn't mean anything, he's still my dad.

I mean, he got me the camera for god sake.

This is the digital age.

We talk on the phone constantly.

Soon enough, I think that's what contact is gonna be.

It's all gonna be in like VR.

The word estranged is gonna be like Latin.

It's not even gonna.

Damn it.

I want a VR headset so badly,

you have no-anyways,

goodnight!

Daytime.

I think I'm gonna pick this up again, tomorrow,

maybe, no promises.

Hey y'all, so I got a couple minutes.

My boss is in the back eating lunch.

I'm supposed to be out here mopping, but eh, you know

I work here as you can see by my hat and my shirt

and the permanent disdain on my face

for anything relating to the season of Autumn.

Hi, welcome in!

I have to say that.

Apparently, I could actually get fired if I don't say that.

Don't worry though, everyone that comes in at this time

is just picking up from the counter.

But I just wanted to talk about my goals for this vlog.

I think I want it to be kind of like a lifestyle type thing.

Like a days in the life kind of thing.

Those are are always vlogs that I used to like to watch.

Still do, to be honest.

I don't know if that's cool, but whatever.

There's a lot of other vlog types out there,

but I never really liked those.

I always just kind of like the entertaining personalities

and stuff like that.

Not to say that I'm like the most ent...

Excuse me.

Yes, yeah, yeah. - I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

No, no, no, no, no, it's fine.

I'm fine.

Are you sure you? - Yeah.

You jumped like a foot in the air.

Hey, wait.

What?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What, what, what?

Did we go to high school together?

So, do you want me to make you some coffee or something?

'Cause I can...

What is this?

What?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey, I'm just, I...

You just bring a camera with you to work?

Hey look, do you want some coffee or something?

Do you want me to make you some coffee

or are you one of these here, are you picking up something?

Did I do something to you?

Huh?

I mean, I scared you, I'm sorry, is that it?

Is that what?

Is that what?

I definitely remember you from high school.

Okay, yeah, it wasn't that long ago.

That must be it.

It must be what?

Lacy Lancaster, does that ring a bell?

I know who you are.

Then that's it, that's it.

Is that what?

What are you talking about?

That's why you're annoyed.

You think that's it?

- See, you are annoyed. - You think that's it?

You think it's because we went to high school,

that you were somebody that was at the same school as me

for four years.

Yeah, man, I was a bitch.

Exactly.

I had no, hold on, hold on, hold on.

You're totally off base.

Really?

Yes, I'm not annoyed, I'm not,

I'm, I'm, I am, I'm...

I am annoyed,

but it's not because I went to high school with you,

it's because you ran up on me while I was...

While I am working.

Well, yeah, you invited me over.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

You said, "welcome."

That's what you have to say.

That's what everyone has to say.

What, you never worked customer service before?

No, no, man, I am way too much of a bitch.

No, that doesn't even make sense.

Hmm really, why?

Because it's not about being a,

it's not about that.

It's not about being...

It's not, customer service is,

it doesn't matter who you are.

You change yourself like instinctually.

Why won't you say it?

Say what?

Did we go to high school together?

Yes, I already told you we did.

Then say it.

Say what?

Say I'm a bitch.

What?

No.

Come on, I was, I probably still am according to you.

To me? - Yeah.

I'm literally just standing here.

All I did was standing here.

Come on, say it. - Look.

Oh my god. - Say it.

Lacy, Lacy.

Ah, oh, I'm sorry.

I don't-what was your name again?

I know I know it.

Oh, no, I, uh..

I'm Ben.

Ben, that's right.

Call me a bitch.

Dude, why do you want me to call you a bitch?

Call me a bitch.

What, no, no. - But it feels so good.

Look, look, I can't, I can't.

No, I can't. - Say it.

Say it, say it, say it, say it.

Say it. - Okay, okay,

fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.

You're a bitch.

Ben!

Oh.

She gave me her number.

I also got fired.

♪ I'm waiting for love ♪

♪ I'm waiting for love ♪

I'm gonna ruin this, aren't I?

♪ Now, she's not the one ♪

♪ She's not the one ♪

♪ I wanted to love ♪

♪ But she's no fun ♪

♪ To her it's all about being on the run ♪

♪ And my heart knows ♪

♪ She's not the one ♪

What's a date, even?

What I mean by that is what defines a date?

You know? Like, is there something you're supposed to say,

or is it like a social cue you're supposed to give off or?

I hope it's a date.

"When are we hanging out?"

That's very vague.

I mean, we've been very flirty over text, to me at least.

But maybe everyone just feels like that.

Maybe she just does that to people.

Maybe she's just like that.

Am I supposed to make my feelings known to her?

Or is it the kind of thing

where my feelings don't really matter

until the right

moment?

God, oh, I wish I knew all she felt,

oh, I wish I knew what she felt.

Is this a date?

Is this romantic?

Is it just sexual or?

It's probably none of that.

She just thinks I'm a friend.

That's it, that's what I am, I'm her friend.

I'm her friend, that's,

I'm gonna go with it like that.

Just be chill.

No pressure.

I am 45 minutes early.

♪ Will you want to play with me ♪

♪ Or spawned by the devil to torture me ♪

♪ Looking through mirrors of extenuating time ♪

♪ Oh, I can't believe ♪

♪ You found the time to get yourself dressed up ♪

♪ Like a rainbow ♪

♪ Get in front of me ♪

♪ And try to put on a show ♪

♪ And I'm sorry I laughed in your face ♪

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I

I love

you.

I love you.

I love you.

I

Love you

I think that, I think I love, I think,

I think that I honestly, I love you.

I think I..

You know...

You know, honestly, I just let myself,

I think that I could easily fall in love with you.

I...

Love you.

Oh.

♪ And so I'll wait for you to work things out in your mind ♪

♪ I guess it's a good thing ♪

♪ All I got is time ♪

♪ And so I'll wait for you, wait for you ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll wait for you to love me, ♪

♪ Too. ♪

How's the schmeckle?

Oh my god, you are so stupid.

- What's a schmeckle? - You will never know.

Here, gimme that. - What is it?

The real question is,

what was your problem with that movie?

What was your problem with that movie?

I didn't have one.

Exactly.

And that is a problem in itself,

because that movie sucked.

What do you mean?

There is no plot, the characters were boring.

What did they even want?

It was a love story.

They wanted love, they wanted each other.

But why?

What do you mean, why?

Like, why did they love each other?

Like, ugh, yes, they were both hot,

they both worked in advertising,

they both had extensive jazz record collections,

because of course they did.

But why were they attracted to each other?

Like, what was so intriguing about that girl?

Do you need that?

Do I?

No, I.

What do you mean? - Hold on.

I didn't mean that in a,

I meant in a general way.

You know-not you, but...

Do you need that?

Do you need to be intrigued by someone to love them?

Well, before you can be in love, you have to fall in love.

In order to fall in love, you know

something at some point

has to peak your interest about someone

or something.

I have so much boba in my mouth right now.

What, do you disagree?

I don't know.

I don't know.

What?

I guess I,

I kind of have to think about it logically, I guess.

Oh and I'm being very logical.

No, no, no, no, I didn't mean that.

I didn't mean you weren't being logical.

I meant, you are being logical.

I just have to think about it logically,

as in, I can't think about it anecdotally,

from personal experience.

Aww.

No, no, no. - Aww.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Okay, I, god.

You've never been in love baby.

Neither have I, who cares?

We just graduated high school.

Nobody's gonna hold it against us

if we haven't had the opportunity

to go to New York City with the love of our lives.

I mean, wait,

you haven't been in love?

No,

no, no, no, no, no, no.

And I know what you're gonna say.

Carson gates. - Ah, Carson.

Oh, okay, I was not in love with Carson,

I am not in love with Carson.

Really? - Yes.

Carson, Carson was on the wrestling team.

Carson asked me to prom junior year.

Carson was the only per,

oh my god, I can't even say his stupid name.

That guy, Mr. Smells like gasoline

because of his stupid body spray,

he was

the only one who asked me.

And I was nervous

because I didn't think

that anybody else would

ever ask me to another dance again.

So, yeah, I kept him around

'cause I didn't want to be alone.

And...

If anybody else had asked me,

literally anybody else, I would've said yes.

Really?

Yes!

Oh my god, Carson.

I can't believe how much time I wasted on him.

All these dates at his place with all of his friends.

And the hours I spent in that smelly gym

when I probably could have just gone home.

And, oh...

I even took him to my cousin's lake house

and I let him take my virginity.

What a waste!

Wow.

And oh, I know it, it sounds like Stockholm syndrome,

but okay, maybe not, because I guess in Stockholm syndrome,

you actually have to like your captor,

and I definitely didn't.

I mean, maybe I was my own captor...

You know?

Maybe.

I have been in love.

No, you haven't.

Yes, I have.

You just said.

I was not-I was talking about the intriguing part.

I've never been intrigued by somebody

and just gone out with them because of it.

I fell in love kind of for no reason.

Okay, but high school girlfriends

don't count either, okay?

Didn't have one.

Well, okay anything before that is just puppy love.

I mean, I guess, but I-

- no but Ben it's puppy love. - No, no, okay, okay, well,

I'm not even talking about that though.

What are you talking about?

Isabel.

Her name was Isabel.

She used to live in town, a couple years older,

she moved away when she graduated.

We used to work together at that theater

you and I were just at.

I was in love with her.

But you never asked her out?

She had a boyfriend.

He was

great, too.

Never cheated, never hurt her,

but I loved her.

But how did you know if you didn't actually date her?

It was just so easy to coexist with her.

Like, I get tired, really tired around other people.

Like even if I like them, it's just,

it gets to be too much sometimes.

But not with her.

With her, it didn't matter how many hours we were together

or how long our conversations would last,

I could talk to her forever.

She could replace food or water or sleep

or anything else I needed to survive.

Plus..

Plus her being happy without me

was painful.

But she's gone

and I'm here.

And I feel good about that.

If I had asked you to prom, you would've said yes?

Hmm.

I would've turned out a lot different if you did.

Oh my god. - Oh my god.

Oh my god. - I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. - No, I'm sorry.

- I'm so, god damn it. - I can't believe that I.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I always do this.

I just always, I always do this dude.

God, I have this thing,

I feel like I have this,

I have this like social ineptitude

where I can't, I see, no, like, I see a situation,

I can't read these social, I can't,

I kind of feel like I'm on the spectrum,

but I'm not, I definitely am not.

I just, I'm not, I just, I'm awkward and I'm scared,

and it always ruins the moment.

I always ruin the moment, I'm sorry I ruined the moment.

Ben.

♪ Someone's never ♪

♪ Held venetian glass ♪

♪ And someone's never known you ♪

♪ Quite like you have ♪

♪ And all this time ♪

♪ You simply let pass ♪

♪ Could have been spent here in the nowhere ♪

♪ And they're over near us and across from those trees ♪

♪ Through the soft meadows and fields of green ♪

♪ So dance with the babe ♪

♪ It's the notion ♪

♪ Dance with me ♪

♪ Dance the night away ♪

♪ I don't care what they say ♪

♪ I wanna feel ♪

Oh my god.

Ben, coffee. - I know.

Literally we couldn't be,

oh, so we're doing this now?

Yes. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Okay, listen, my boy over here has a hard on.

What? - He has a hard on

for Europeans or Asians or something.

What?

We're in line at the coffee shop, okay?

And I order, first.

I get an iced coffee.

And you have to remember at this point in time,

I'm still attracted to Ben.

Like, at least a little bit.

But all of that

is about to change. - Oh my god.

But he goes harrumph.

What? - You.

Me? - Harrumph.

Did not. - He does that.

I did not.

And so I turn around,

I was like, what do we have a problem?

Like, do you wanna throw hands or something?

And he was like, "no, no, it's nothing, it's fine."

'Cause he don't want this smoke.

I do not.

And so I order, I pay.

And then he comes up from behind me and he goes,

"may I have a tea, please?"

And when I did that. - No, no, no.

We're talking about me now, so I got it.

First of all, I did not say,

what the hell was that sound you made?

Harrumph.

Harrumph, harrumph.

I did not say harrumph. - Yes you did.

I may have blown a bit of air outta my nose.

In a quick discriminatory manner.

Discriminatory. - You're a misogynist.

Ah, look, I like tea.

I think it tastes better than coffee.

Now is it a scientific fact that tea

is better for you than coffee?

Yes, also. - Oh my, god.

Also, I worked at a coffee shop,

so I'm pretty much the expert on it.

No, you just like it 'cause you think it's fancy.

You like it 'cause you saw it on, "the crown."

"The crown's" great.

I've never seen it.

We should watch it.

Okay, what makes it better?

What makes it better?

Yeah, it's not me, it's just what they say.

They, who is they?

Like, how is it better?

Bean water.

Dirty leaf water.

I don't wanna watch, "the crown."

I've never seen it.

♪ Dance the night away ♪

♪ I'm gonna see it, see it through ♪

♪ I'm gonna be there for you ♪

♪ Oh, won't you dance babe ♪

♪ I'm the one babe ♪

♪ The only one there'll ever need, girl ♪

♪ And you're the one I need ♪

♪ Ah yeah all right ♪

♪ So won't you dance with me ♪

♪ If you'll have me ♪

♪ I'll stay ♪

♪ To dance ♪

♪ Please dance away ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

This is crazy.

How many times are you going to say that?

Where do you want me to put these bags?

On the ground.

This is crazy.

Ben.

You bought so many clothes, Lacy.

It's called thrifting, Ben.

It's good for the environment.

Ah, so this is what it's like, huh?

To have money.

$10 coffees, shopping, the lake house.

I mean, hey, I'll admit I could get used to it,

would love to hang out at a lake house,

but if it just wasn't for the time commitment,

I mean, this has been an all-day endeavor.

It's called thrifting, Ben.

It's really not that expensive.

And I would call it an adventure, not an endeavor.

Besides, are you really going to complain

when I look like this after.

You would look beautiful in anything.

What?

Wow.

What?

What, did I say something wrong or?

Yes.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

It's fine, you'll learn.

This?

Yes.

Yes?

No? - No, Ben.

No, got it.

No, it's a yes.

Uh, yeah.

What?

Ugh!

Wait, am I in a dream?

Like is this really happening?

I mean that in a good way, like a good dream.

Like, I never wanna wake up kind of dream.

Never wanna wake up huh?

Keep reacting like this and I can make that happen.

This?

You look...

Okay, well, now I'm scared

and I don't know. - Ah, Ben.

Okay, I'm gonna show you how to react.

Go change.

I didn't get anything.

Look in the bags next to you.

Lacy, did you get this stuff from me?

Yeah, I'm not really into

the men's wear on women look for me.

So, go put something together.

Lacy, you didn't have to do this.

Oh, honey, no, this isn't for you.

This is 100% for me.

Now go change.

Go, go, go. - All right.

Go, go, go. - Okay, okay, okay.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You could try you're good at it.

Honey, no one cares about me, you're the star.

How's it going in there?

Is this a onesie?

Wrong bag, that's mine.

What?

Shut up, it's literally the most comfortable thing

in the world.

Which bag?

The only other bag, babe.

It's just Hawaiian shirts.

I know, put them on.

They're too big.

I know, put them on.

Ah, baby.

Yes, babe.

That is how you're supposed to react.

Oh wow, okay.

Well, I did say yes, so.

Turn around.

What are you doing?

I think that we need to roll up these sleeves.

Lacy, what are you doing?

I'm rolling the sleeves up.

No, no, Lacy, Lacy, what is this?

What do you mean?

Are you doing that thing?

What thing are you talking about?

The thing, the thing I've always been scared of.

You're gonna have to be a little more descriptive

than that, honey.

Hey, you like me, right?

Yeah, why, what are you trying to-

no, no, no, no, I'm not doing,

I'm not trying to do,

I'm, I'm, I just, I...

What?

What?

I love you.

Okay.

I think that you should go try on the blue shirt now.

Lacy.

Ben.

I love you, I mean it, I do.

No, you don't.

Do you love me?

Jesus, uh, why-

do you love me?

What?

That's not a difficult question.

Are you serious, it's not a difficult question?

No, do you love me?

It's not for me.

Well it should be a difficult question, Ben.

You don't know what love feels like,

and from what you've told me, I know that.

It feels like you love me.

Because, I bought you shirts?

Look, Lacy, do you love me or not?

I just feel like I need to know.

Ben, you're freaking me out,

I think maybe you should leave.

What are you breaking up with me?

Breaking up with you, we're not dating.

We're not dating?

Well, no. - What?

Well do you wanna be or not?

I don't know, Jesus, Ben, can you just leave

and gimme some time to think?

No, no, that's not okay with me, okay?

Just break up with me.

Ben, I don't to.

Well, then make up with me.

Okay, I'm sorry, not for saying that I love you

because I do, but I'm just sorry

for trying to make you say it.

Ben, what is this?

This is me trying not to waste your time.

Waste mine?

Lacy, why should we just leave this up

in the air like this?

I mean, fine, you don't have to make a decision

if you love me or not,

but you have to make a decision if you wanna stay with me,

a make up or breakup rule,

just either make up with me or break up with me

and let's move on.

Okay, Lacy, I haven't felt this way about somebody in-

since,

well, I mean, you can guess.

Lacy, I'm sorry if it freaks you out,

but I have feelings and

I just can't live with the regret

of not making them known again.

Honestly, you're right.

I don't know if I love you,

but I think

I could easily fall in love with you

if I let myself.

I just want to know if I should let myself.

Okay.

Ben,

I love you too.

Wow, ha. - Really?

Wow, yeah, I love you Ben.

Really?

Ben, I love you.

I love you. - I love you too.

Hell yeah, you do.

I love you, I love you.

I love you too, I love you too.

Great.

So, do you still want me to leave?

So, do you still want me to try on the blue one?

Actually, I don't really think that I like this shirt,

you should take it off.

Oh, uh, okay.

I don't think I like the pants either.

Pants, I walked in with these pants.

Is this still on?

Well, good morning.

It's been a few weeks, hasn't it?

Well, here's what's been happening in the past few weeks.

Who are you talking to?

This is what has been happening in the past few weeks.

Can you go do that in the living room, please?

I got a new job, that's a cool thing.

I'm a server now, so it's not a big deal,

but hey, hey, it's a step up from baristaing, for sure.

They said I could work my way up.

Eventually, I'm bartending, I'm making tips,

then I'm making lower to middle class money, baby.

Lacy and I are still together.

Who said it wouldn't work?

No one, that's who

'cause no one cares.

No, I'm just kidding.

We care, right?

No, no, honestly, we are kind of perfect for each other.

And she's not perfect, but- and neither am I, obviously,

I'm not perfect either.

Yeah, she's not perfect.

We work well together.

Jesus.

So why haven't I been filming?

Well, truth is, I don't know.

Honestly, I kind of wish I never gave it up.

I was on such a roll there for so long,

I kinda wanna pick it up again.

So, I think I'm gonna start shooting every day.

No promises, but we all know how that goes.

Oh, are you filming again?

Yeah, yeah, I was just saying I was on such a roll before

and I kind of want to get back into it.

Oh.

You wanna be in it?

No, I'm good.

Okay, well then I'm gonna finish this up.

Are we still going to lunch with my cousin today?

She's here from out of town.

Yeah.

Okay, 'cause I'm going, no matter what,

I'm just wondering if you want to go.

I am, I do, I am. - Okay.

I just wanna finish this first.

Okay.

Are we going now?

Like are we going right now, this second, or I go like...

Like you do not have to.

I literally just told you I want to go.

I just wanna know if we're going right now, this second.

Okay.

Wait.

One, two, three, makeup. - Makeup.

Love you. - Love you too, babe.

So, why haven't I been...

I'm so happy you're trying this place.

I know.

Hey, I got lunch, by the way.

What, no, babe, that's my cousin.

I know, but I just wanna make a good first impression.

Well, don't feel like you have to just because...

I know, I know, trust me,

she's gonna know that I don't have money like her,

but I just want her to have

some shallow unearned respect for me, so I'll pay.

Thank you.

But I don't even care if she doesn't like you

because I love you so much that she doesn't have a choice.

She's gonna like me.

Why wouldn't she like me?

Ben, you just said...

Yeah, I said she wouldn't have respect for me

because she's rich and I'm not.

She's successful.

She's not gonna think I'm good for you,

but that has nothing to do with her liking me.

Okay, can you not?

What?

You're making something out of nothing, like always.

Me, I didn't start this, you said...

I know, I know what I said,

you don't have to tell me what I said.

Okay, okay, I'm just saying.

I know, just, okay quick before Carmen comes,

- one, two, three, makeup. - Makeup, love you, babe.

Are you filming right now?

Hey. - Hey.

Turn it off, Ben.

Whoa, what's with the camera?

Hi, it's nothing, it's a long explanation.

I'm starving, so Ben turn it off.

Okay.

So embarrassing, so embarrassing, Ben.

Putting the camera in her face like that.

Are you kidding me?

And what happened to paying for lunch?

She didn't let me.

It's what you do, Ben, you fight for it.

Stop filming.

Well, why?

Put it down.

Okay.

Hey, Lacy, what are you doing?

What is this?

What do you mean?

What is this?

What are you going to do with this?

What is this for?

I don't know.

Really.

Well, yeah, I don't plan the,

I don't plan the...

So you are just putting our lives on camera for no reason.

Well, what would you want me to do with it?

I don't care, I don't care.

I just want to know, I feel like, I don't know.

Okay, okay, yeah.

I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it.

I'm sorry.

Look, the truth is,

I haven't even looked back at any of the footage I've shot.

What?

Why?

Ben.

Ben is...

Ben, is this...

Is this because of me?

What?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, I mean, things have been,

I mean, it's been

really hard lately, right? You know?

It's been hard.

Yeah, yeah, it has.

Yeah, I'm glad that we agree.

So, should we?

Okay.

One,

two,

three

makeup. - Makeup.

Really? - Yes.

Really? - Yes, yes.

But we need to do something, obviously, right?

Yes, yes.

Carmen has a lake house.

Yeah, I know she has a lake house.

Yeah, the lake house.

Yeah, I know.

Look, come on, come on,

I know lunch was really weird today,

but she actually really likes you.

And she was wondering if you wanna come with us next week.

To the...

To the lake house?

To the lake house. - Okay.

Think about it, think about it.

No life, no worries,

no camera,

just you and me.

I, uh...

I can't,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, it's just, I... - Okay.

No, no, no.

I just started this new job. - Yeah.

At the restaurant, remember,

I've only been working there a couple weeks.

And if, it's just, when you start, it doesn't look good

if you take a bunch of like a week off.

I know, I'm sorry.

You're right. - No, no, no, no.

You're right, I'm sorry.

But you should still go,

seriously.

I mean, it's your family.

You'd love to see them, you'll have a great time.

I mean, yeah, but.

Babe,

we've been spending a lot of time together.

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

Maybe it would be good

if we also spent a little time apart.

You think?

Yes.

Okay, all right.

I love you.

I love you too.

Okay.

Okay.

Hello there, I am here.

Lacy is at the lake house.

It has been T minus two weeks since I have seen her,

I feel great.

Honestly, I feel so great.

And I know how that sounds, but it's not that, trust me,

we talk on the phone every single night.

She sends me pictures, I send her some memes back.

It's amazing, look, it sounds crazy, right?

Being alone actually

makes me want someone in my life.

Like that actually makes total sense.

That makes total sense.

I said it out loud and it makes,

you know when you say something out loud

and it's just like everything, boom.

Anyway, I miss her.

Oh, wow, I miss her.

I mean, I have...

I have never loved Lacy more

than I do right now.

I have never, I am just so grateful.

I am so grateful to have her in my life,

to say, to be able to,

I can say that Lacy Lancaster is my girlfriend.

She is my girlfriend, I am so grateful.

And she knows that, right?

She knows that because I tell her that all the time.

I'm like, I'm so, I mean, I don't say,

I don't say I'm so grateful, I say that I love her.

I'm like, I love you all, I say that, I do say that.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

We're always saying that to each other constantly,

all the time.

That's how she knows.

Should I have gone?

Should I have gone with her to the lake house?

Because she asked me to, but did she want me to go?

She wanted me to go, didn't she?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, yeah, of course,

of course she wanted me to go, mother...

Okay, I admit it, I messed up.

Lacy wanted me to go to that lake house with her

and her family and I said no

claiming it was a work thing.

Truth is, a lot of my coworkers wanted shifts that week.

I could have gone with her and I should have.

Look, I'm just gonna say it, this is difficult.

A relationship like this, this is,

I love Lacy.

Man, I love Lacy more than I've ever loved anyone

in my entire life.

And it's not easy.

It's not that it's hard, but it's just,

I need to work more at it.

Maybe we both do, I don't know,

but what I do know is someone's gotta go first, right?

I just miss her.

I miss being around her all the time.

So, what does that mean?

Look where I am, I'm in Lacy's bedroom.

She's not here, she doesn't even know I'm here.

I didn't break in, also,

she gave me keys after the first time we had,

she gave me the keys, and now I'm here.

And I set up this hidden camera and I'm gonna surprise her

with her favorite snacks, got a bottle of wine

copped for my cousin and wopow!

His and hers onesies, baby.

And you know what?

Honestly, they are the most comfortable things

I've ever worn, I'll admit it.

And I also have this ice cream in the freezer,

it's that like really, really rich ice cream

that every time we passed in the grocery store,

Lacy was like, no, no, no, no, no, no,

but in a way where she never said it about anything else.

So, clearly was just looking for a reason to get into it.

That that's her.

I gotta hide, but

Lacy, I love you.

Such a nice house

Thank you

such a nice house for such a nice girl.

Are you actually a brunette?

Are you? Yes, you are

no, it's natural.

Oh my god, Ben.

What the fuck?

Oh my god, what is wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

Who the fuck is this?

It's my boyfriend.

Him?

Get out, go, get out now, go.

Ben. - I'm sorry.

God, stop, why would you do this to me?

Why would you do this to me?

Oh god... - Give me one second.

Ben, Ben...

No stop, stop, stop,

god, I can't believe you'd do this.

Just shut up! Let me put this on your face.

I can't believe you'd do this to me.

I can't believe you'd do this to me.

Can't believe you'd do this-why would you do this to me?

You can't believe Do this to me.

You did.

It hurts, it hurts, - okay, okay, okay.

It hurts, it hurts

I'm just trying to help you.

Just shut up

why would you do this?

God, it hurts!

Okay, I'm sorry, let me see your eye.

It's your eye - no, it's not my, no stop.

It's not my god, oh, get off, get off, get off, get off me.

Oh god, I can't believe you,

I can't believe you would do this.

You would...

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

Can we just talk about this?

Shut up, no, we're not talking about this.

I don't want to...

You're asking me a question, can I say one thing?

No, no, you not get-not after this,

after what you just did, after this.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

No, you don't get to say,

you do not get to say something like that.

You are not allowed to say something like that.

You do not tell me what I can and cannot say.

I will say whatever I want, whenever I want.

Okay, okay fine, then say it, tell me.

Say what?

Tell me what you want to tell me.

Tell me that you hate me. - No, Ben.

Tell me that you want be dead.

Tell me that you want to kill me,

you wanna fucking kill me.

You never understood, you don't understand.

You, you, you...

What do I not understand? - Oh my god.

What do I not understand?

What do I not understand?

Explaining this to you is absolutely impossible.

It is mind numbing.

You take every single little thing

and you make it like the climax of something.

Like everything is to an audience

on the other side of your stupid fucking camera.

You're a sociopath.

You're a cold, heartless sociopath. You know?

Guilting me, try to stand up to me

because you think it's difficult to talk to me

about you hurting me, you breaking my heart.

You messed up, I'm reacting as the person who didn't.

I have done nothing.

I have done nothing but everything I'm supposed to.

I have cared about you, I have compromised,

I have tried to share my life, I love, I loved you.

Did you?

Do you? - Yes.

I think that you just like the look of it.

You like the way that it looks and you did nothing?

Are you kidding me?

You did nothing? - What?

You, you, you did this.

You caused this.

Ben, you weren't there.

You know that, you haven't been there.

Ben, I know I'm the bad guy right now,

but if I didn't do this,

if I just continued to suffer in silence,

then you would be the bad guy by default.

I'm sorry for this,

but I don't deserve what you're doing to me.

What I'm doing, what I'm doing to you, are you kidding?

Are you kidding me?

I wish I'd never met you.

I wish I could erase everything.

I wish.

Do you realize what you've done to me?

Do you realize what you're doing to me?

No, you don't.

'Cause you're fucking cold and you're heartless

and you can't feel, and you can't love and you can't do,

you can't fucking feel what I'm feeling.

Oh, I can't love?

I can't love?

I love you, Ben.

I love you more than I've ever loved anybody I've ever met.

You're everything to me, I don't have anything without you,

I have nothing.

No, are you kidding me?

You're rich, you're pretty, you have everything,

you can be anybody you wanna be,

but you're never going to be,

you're never gonna find this fucking purpose

that you so desire because you can't tear away

yourself away from the fucking pleasure

that you get from controlling and destroying other people.

No, you don't go there, no.

Yeah, I will, all right?

I know, I know you think it's the world that's out

to catch you, and it's not.

It's you, it's always been you.

And you'll be nothing more than you are right now.

Fine, then fucking kill me.

Fucking kill me already,

gimme a fine reason to finally do it.

I don't have perfect life...

I didn't say that, don't put that in my mouth.

You're a monster.

I'm not. - Yes you are.

No, I didn't, don't fucking twist my words.

You're twisting.

I'm twisting your words, I'm twisting your words,

I'm the one who's making this into something that it's not.

'Cause I'm a psycho who can't take care of his own emotions.

No, I don't give a shit.

I don't give a shit.

You're telling me I can't feel what I'm feeling.

You're telling me not to be me.

You're making me feel like shit,

you're making me feel like shit all of the time.

You are a monster, you feel like shit all of the time.

And you're doing it again, Ben.

You're doing it again.

What can I possibly be doing to you, now?

You're making me feel like shit.

Good, good.

Ben.

Okay, Ben, please...

I wish you would just,

I wish you'd get out of my life.

You're in my house.

Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What are you doing, stop, let go off me.

Ben, you have to, you have to, Ben.

You broke the rule!

Hi, I'm Lacy.

This is Ben's camera, he left it here

and I promise I'm gonna give it back to him.

But first, this is my side of the story.

Hey, what's up?

I'm Lacy.

Okay.

Hi, how's it going?

I'm Lacy, welcome to...

Hey guys, Lacy here, I was gonna tell you about,

have you ever like...

What's up baby?

Okay, okay, okay, I can do this.

Hey everybody, it's Lacy.

Hey guys, it's Lacy.

Hi.

Hey, it's Lacy.

It's Lacy.

It's Lacy, this is my vlog.

God, this is so stupid.

This is so awkward, so weird.

Like what is this?

Like this is nothing.

What even is this?

It's like...

I don't even care, I don't know how he does this.

How am I supposed to...

These are the kinds of guys in the Azores lace,

long hair, beards, living on their sexy boats.

Oh, so adventurous.

I'm not going, Carmen.

You don't have to go the whole week,

just the weekend, relax.

You deserve it after all the shit

you've been putting up with.

Carmen, how long do you even keep in touch

with these guys?

That's the best part, okay?

They're like so worldly and traveled.

They have this thing against being too connected

to the real world online.

You know that sounds kind of stupid, right?

Bitch.

I'm kidding.

Oh my god, lace.

Why are you like so hung up on this

like dumb, little, like weird.

You didn't even get to know him.

Lacy, oh my god, why are you, stop doing this.

Oh, that's my...

Lacy.

Yeah, just listen.

Oh my god, you stole his camera?

No.

Oh my god, we love that for you.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm gonna find something blunt and heavy.

I'm recording with him.

Right now?

Yeah.

Of me?

Of us.

Why the fuck would you do that?

I don't know, I thought it might help.

Help with what?

My feelings, Carmen, I'm sorry I have feelings.

That's so stupid, Lacy.

What? - That's so stupid.

Get a good therapist.

You're not gonna find anything on this meaningless camera.

Okay, leave.

Lacy, okay, you know I'm right, okay?

I'm just trying to help you.

Get out, now.

I don't want your help,

I don't want to fuck some guy in the Azores,

just go, now, leave.

Jesus, fine.

See, this is what I've been dealing with.

How the hell am I even supposed to explain this to you?

This is it.

I don't know how to explain it,

but this is what I'm feeling.

It's like the way he's going,

I was walking down the street

and I had the camera with me

because I was like,

you know I've been trying to, for...

This has been so hard for me.

I haven't been myself for a long time.

Forever, ever.

This is a man.

I don't know him.

He didn't know I was filming him.

If it's illegal, if he comes after me, well so be it.

He doesn't know how much it means to me.

Anyways, I don't know him.

He's wearing a suit.

His watch is pretty nice.

His satchel is maybe leather.

It looks kind of worn.

Maybe he's a lawyer.

Maybe he owns a company.

Maybe he's unemployed.

Maybe he's broke and in debt

but just dresses like that to hide his shame.

Or I guess it could be more positive than that.

It could be a way of motivating himself

or getting employers to notice him, or both.

But where is he now?

He's just wandering.

He's on some random street, completely

lost.

Look closer at him, he's all sweaty.

At first it seemed like he cared,

but the longer I filmed him,

the less he seemed to worry about what everyone else saw.

Like something else overtook his insecurities.

Something more important.

Something primal.

I saw something that night, you know what night.

That whole, like, that whole night.

And I think about it, I dream about it,

I play it over and over and over again in my head,

but in a different way, not in the way that it happened.

Like in the way that I see it.

And I have been having a really rough year.

I am genuinely not sleeping.

When I met Ben, I was,

It is so hard for me to say it.

I want to tell you.

I...

I don't know!

He's kind of beautiful though, right?

Okay, this whole thing has been stressful.

This whole, between Ben and I, it has been.

So, I came back home for the weekend just to decompress

and I wrote this and, oh,

Hey dad.

Oh, Lacy, you're still here.

Yeah, I am.

Haven't gone back home, yet?

No, I'm just staying for the weekend.

Well you're welcome to stay as much as you want,

you always know that.

Mhm.

What do you mean?

Don't you have classes?

Online.

Yeah, I always forget that

that's what community colleges have now.

Like they actually have those resources.

Yeah, it's a high end community college, so.

Yeah, but you're getting your general education,

you're not even getting your bachelor's.

Yeah, yeah, we've talked about this.

Yeah, I know.

You wanna help me with something?

Like what?

Whoa, where'd you get that?

I'm experimenting.

Experimenting?

Yeah, with passions of mine.

Since when has that been a passion of yours?

I just recently picked it up, so you wanna help?

With what?

So I just, I have this shot in my head

and I really wanna get it, I just need someone to be in it.

Like a movie?

No, no, no, no, no, it's not a movie.

Since when has this been a passion of yours?

It's not, it's not a passion.

You know what, it's just for fun.

Is this what you're doing with your time?

No, not all my time, it's just for fun.

Where'd you get that?

Did you put that on the credit card?

No, it was a gift.

From who?

Carmen?

No, from my boyfriend.

Great.

Dad, don't be like that.

What, this is the kind of woman that you want to be?

This is what you want to do.

You wanna spend your time doing this kind of stuff

after everything I've done for you?

Lacy, you were set up, valedictorian,

all the offers that you wanted,

I had to set up at a great dorm, Arkansas, then no,

I don't wanna do that,

I wanna stay in town and not live at home.

I want you to get me an apartment

so I can mess around with guys.

That's not what I'm doing.

You know, if this is the kind of woman that you wanna be,

if you wanna be a gold digger,

you wanna be, use your brains and not your...

Not use your brains and use your looks

and waste time with crap like this,

and be like your mom,

fine, go ahead. - Be like my mom.

Maybe even use the camera for porn.

Oh my god, dad.

Probably what you're doing with it anyway.

You know I'm done with this conversation?

Mm, I'm done with this conversation,

I'm gonna go take a shower and I'm gonna get a drink.

I guess I'm on my own for dinner.

So, that's my dad.

And you know what?

It hasn't always been like this.

We actually, we used to be on the same page before I,

before.

How do you do a time lapse?

Who am I?

My name is Lacy Lancaster, my life was great and terrible.

I was just sad.

I wasn't sad, I tricked myself into being happy.

It was, I shouldn't say was, it's not that kind of movie,

movie. Movie? Movie.

So look at this shot, just look at it.

You get it, right?

It's me, that was me when I had a mental breakdown at 18.

Those are my friends from high school.

That one lady calling the cops

because someone pushed over the trash, that's my family

after it hit, acting like she's helping the community,

but she's actually just helping herself.

And this is when I ran away holding the camera.

And that's, well it's pretty self-explanatory, right?

Of course it is.

It's so obvious.

I figured out how to do a time lapse.

Let me explain this a little better.

I could sit here explaining these shots

and what they mean all night long,

but maybe I should just let these images

tell me what I should say.

My history is a simple one.

I was that girl.

You know her, the everyone to like her

so no one likes her girl.

I did cheer, I threw parties, I studied my ass off

so my gpa never dropped.

All because people were gonna be disappointed if I didn't,

'cause they would be because I was that girl.

After graduation, my plan was marry Carson gates,

go to the university of Arkansas with my best friends

and become a nurse, that's right, you fucking guessed it.

So what happened?

Why am I the hot mess express nowadays?

Well,

there was this moment at the end there,

at the end of high school

where I felt this thing,

this falling feeling,

like that moment right before you fall asleep.

Probably how it feels right before you die.

In fact, just like that moment before you die,

I saw my life flash before my eyes.

But just the parts that hadn't happened yet,

the next 80 years of my life.

Because miserable people always live longer, don't they?

Peeking in high school is such a cliche.

Maybe that's 'cause it's true

or maybe my generation has been tricked

into throwing away their youth by the myth,

I dunno, like a two year old child.

I think I became self-aware for the first time in my life.

What was my life?

What was my purpose?

I freaked out.

I decided not to go to college, at least for now.

I told Carson to fuck off.

Because I was lost and sulking,

I did what turned out to be the stupidest thing

I had ever done.

I went to my friends for support and they just left me.

I guess I was bringing them down,

I guess they were fine with the track that they were on.

No worries to be had, security, security, security.

It's remarkable how insecure it made me.

And that's where I met Ben.

Ben.

I remember him from high school.

I do, he was so cute and so quiet

and I'm not gonna sit here and say shit like

I always had a crush on him, it was meant to be.

No, I remember him, but I didn't pay him much mind.

I think we had like one afternoon

where we were both walking the same direction

and out of nowhere he said something so funny,

like genuinely funny.

Like the kind of funny where you don't think about

if someone's trying to fuck you or not.

Now that I think about it,

I don't think he was telling the joke to me.

I think I was just there,

I was just in the crossfire

and I took it like it was meant for me.

Like a dumb, selfish bitch.

If he never called me a bitch that one day,

I don't think we could have, there wouldn't have been.

God!

What is wrong with me?

I miss him so much.

I need to do something.

I need to do something.

And I don't mean like beg for forgiveness or anything,

I just, look, I have an idea.

Wait, wait, wait.

Yes!

That was exactly the shot I wanted, exactly it.

Yes, okay, okay.

Anyways, I have this idea for Ben and, okay, whatever,

I need to see how it looked.

Lacy!

Hi, excuse me, hey, I'm Lacy.

I am an aspiring filmmaker, videographer.

Oh, that's cool. - Explains the camera.

Thanks.

I just think you guys are really beautiful and...

Thank you.

Are you guys, are you like a couple?

Yeah. - Yeah.

Awesome, would you maybe be down

to just do like a little quick video shoot with me?

I don't know... - Yeah, that's yeah...

This is our story from my perspective.

I wanted coffee, but I got so much more.

That line is so stupid.

That's where I met Ben,

at that shitty coffee shop he worked at,

and I'm doing this to be transparent, right?

So no, I wasn't interested in him from across the room.

He was just working there.

I wasn't exactly on the prowl

for some cute shaggy haired barista.

It actually wasn't until that moment when I saw the camera.

Don't you feel special?

It's true though.

When I saw the camera, my interest was peaked,

which when it came to Ben

was kind of the final nail in the coffin.

I mean, I got him fired.

The least I could do is give him my phone number.

But I didn't know anything yet.

I mean, you know how it is, you...

I flirted over text.

I kept him on the line, but I wasn't sure yet.

I mean, you have to remember that this is a guy

from high school and I was in a place

that I would've been happy

- if I never saw anyone. - Never saw anyone...

- From high school ever again. - From high school ever again.

Honestly, I...

But he was just so sincere.

Like he didn't do all those cautious things

that most guys do when they're flirting.

In all honesty, I don't know if he actually was flirting,

but I couldn't let him go.

So, I just jumped right in.

I was actually gonna, I was gonna turn it off.

So I... - What is it?

Like, what is this?

He brought the camera along on the date,

which was super weird, by the way.

Let's not get it wrong.

But I just decided to lean into it because,

why not?

You just look that good on camera

that you carry it around with you?

No, no, no, no, I definitely don't think...

What is it?

What else could I have done?

Like get weirded out and make the night awkward.

Stop it before it could even start?

Shake hands and just return to my crisis of purpose?

So, I loved it.

I was always meant to be on camera.

If Ben loved the camera, so did I.

Maybe then he would like me,

maybe then he would like me.

Maybe then he would like me.

Maybe then he would like me.

Maybe then he would like...

It was what he said that night.

It would always be what he would say.

It got me, the way that he would talk about the movie we saw

and love and himself and me.

Nobody I hung out with in high school ever spoke like that.

The way he spoke reminded me of these love poems

my dad would leave for my mom when I was a kid

that I'd find in the trash,

I'd read them and these feelings would rush into me.

This warmth, this hope.

I think I fell in love with him right there

in that parking garage,

but shit I didn't know that.

So I did what I do, I conform, man.

I wanted to have a certain kind of guy,

and so I was trying to make him something that looked good.

If not just presentable, but I didn't want him to change,

I wanted to show him how to dress with layers.

And he did, to a degree.

But then Ben introduced me to something special.

He showed me what it was like to flip the world inside out.

When he told me he loved me,

we had been dating for maybe a week and a half.

And god, I mean, look, I felt it,

but you always feel it.

Like I've had that feeling

when seeing random hot guys at the mall, or even girls,

which isn't a feeling I ever thought I'd be thinking about,

but hey, look at me,

this is what's going through my mind now.

I love it.

When I gave in, when I told Ben that I loved him,

I just wanted to do it again

and again and again and again and again,

it's like crack, man, it feels so good.

I was like, love is a drug and it doesn't let you down

until it lets you down.

He didn't let me down,

I didn't let him down, it just let us down,

the thing, the structure, the system,

it roped us in with these false promises

and drugged up highs in that part of our relationship

which honestly seemed like a majority of it,

everything became so difficult.

I just discovered all of these things about him.

Things that weren't minor things,

like before we'd have these little fights about tea

or coffee, who's a better driver, it was nothing.

But he started to get ticked off

about things like our financial situations.

He always used the fact that my dad had money

as proof that I couldn't have an opinion on anything.

But when we discussed me getting off my dad's dime,

he would say that I'm ungrateful

and that I shouldn't waste this opportunity to find myself,

and then at the end, he would always add

that it's an opportunity he doesn't have.

It was infuriating going in circles

and I really, really hated that about him.

But I also discovered things that

I deeply loved about him.

He would surprise me all the time

with things

that I don't know, things that I told him so long ago,

and he'd remember.

If he needed to buy it, he would save up for it

or take time away just to make it happen.

He was so sentimental.

You know,

he's kept every pair of shoes he's ever owned,

literally every pair.

He said it was a tradition that his mom started

and he's kept it up ever since.

I loved him sometimes and I hated him sometimes.

And he loved me sometimes and he hated me sometimes.

But how miraculous is that?

No matter what, we were always on the same page.

It felt like we were sharing a mind at some point.

All right, now we're here.

Now we're at the fun part, right?

The moment we've all been waiting for, so let's just,

let's get it outta the way then.

I fell into a trap and it's my fault, I know,

I set the damn trap myself, but I still fell into it.

And I just, I need someone,

no, I need something, I just need it, I'm sorry, but I do,

and I wish literally more than anything that it was Ben,

but it wasn't, he wasn't.

When things got tough,

he kind of fell into a trap of his own.

I didn't see it and he didn't see me.

He wanted more time apart, I wanted more time together

and I guarantee that if we could have just decided together

on one or the other,

then none of this would've ever happened.

But it did.

We both deserved so much better in that moment.

I guess that's why they make romance movies

about young love, because maybe when you're older,

you know the mistakes you've made

and so you don't make as many of them,

or maybe you do.

All right, guys, woo.

Oh shit.

Thank you so much, everybody get in here.

I can't wait to see it.

I gotta get closer, I gotta get my moment.

Thank you guys so much.

We did it.

I keep watching this over and over,

it feels so fucking good.

You can watch this and you can see the inside of my mind.

I can see the inside of my mind,

But I guess though, it makes me feel good,

it doesn't actually do anything

if I'm the only one who sees it,

but I know who I made it for.

Ben, I love you.

I just hope that still means something.

Hi, here, come in.

Do you want something to drink?

No.

Okay.

It's been a little bit.

How are you?

This is ridiculous.

You know that, right?

This is ridiculous.

I mean, I don't know what you want to talk about,

but you know what?

I drove all the way here, so fine, fine, let's talk, huh?

How about why did you cheat on me?

Ben, I want to show you...

Is this my camera?

Oh shit, oh my god it is.

It is my camera, oh my god, I thought I lost this.

I got so nervous, I was like, I can't afford another camera.

Is it recording?

Lacy, why is it recording?

Just come, will you come sit down for a second?

Come here.

Just come here, I wanna show you something.

Please.

Please.

Oh, come on, Lacy,

you know I haven't looked back at any of this footage.

I know, just please trust me, just watch it.

Please

look, I put the memory chip thing in the camera, right?

What, how did you do that?

How did you do with the editing?

It's super easy, it's key framing.

What is key framing?

Oh, you had to pick up shifts at work

and you couldn't come with me to the lake house,

I'm the liar, I'm the liar.

I didn't know, I should have come.

Ben, Ben I love you. - I love you too.

Hell yeah, you do.

Why, why wouldn't she like me?

Ben, you just...

Mother...

The camera along on the date, which was super weird,

by the way, let's not get it wrong,

but I just decided to lean into it because

I love you.

I just hope that still means something.

Okay, are we good?

That's it, Ben.

All right, so what did we just watch?

That was us, our relationship.

Yeah and we were talking off camera,

and she's right, about it all.

I'm so sorry, baby.

No, no, no, no, no.

No apologies, all right?

We both could have done better.

I'm not sorry.

I'm not sorry either.

So, where do we go from here?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe you should make another movie about it.

Well, actually that is something.

What is?

Ben, you know what I've gone through this year

just desperately trying to find my purpose.

When I found you,

I thought that I could just distract myself from it.

You made me feel like I didn't need to find it.

I could just live in the moment.

But I realize now,

I actually did find it,

with you.

Ben,

I got into NYU,

I'm going to study filmmaking.

I want to be a director

and I know that that is kind of crazy and...

Lacy, Lacy, Lacy,

yes.

Yes, oh my god, that's, that's perfect for you,

oh my god, what you've already done.

Lacy, that's amazing, that's,

I am so proud of you.

Come with me.

What?

Come with me to new York, I need you, Ben,

I can't do this without you.

Whoa, what?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, Lacy.

Ben, my dad cut me off.

What?

It's fine. - What?

I'm fine, I'm free, I am going to figure this out,

I'm going to work my ass off, but I need you.

I'm going to fall on my face, I'm going to embarrass myself.

No, no, no, no, no, Lacy,

listen, Lacy, no, no, no.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Please, please.

Lacy, just look at me.

Look, I'm not a liar, okay?

You know that.

I am so proud of you.

You are going to be amazing

because you are amazing

right here with me,

but not because of me.

What you do with this camera,

I couldn't have done that,

I couldn't have helped you or guided you or...

You inspired me.

Lacy, you're inspired by everything.

That's why you couldn't find this purpose,

you've always had purpose.

You just needed a way to express it.

And now that you have that,

Lacy, you changed my life.

Before you, I didn't even know how to function

in the real world.

I wasn't using the camera to express myself,

I was using it as a friend.

Lacy, I used to spend all my time

either making coffee behind a counter

or online with people that I had never met

and would never meet

who were living the lives that I wish I could.

When I didn't have this camera,

I thought I was gonna have nothing.

I was wrong.

I'm enough.

That's because of you,

Lacy, I am so happy that you found your purpose,

but now I wanna find mine,

and I just can't do that in New York.

Not-not while I'm struggling to just survive

in a place like that, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Lacy, but that's just too much for me.

But hey, hey, we can't let that stop you, okay?

This is what you need to be doing, Lacy.

This is what you're meant to do.

You know it.

Yeah, I do.

Thank you.

Should we?

One.

Two.

Three.

♪ It's the way you look at me ♪

♪ Just as you're falling asleep. ♪

♪ Like it's already a dream ♪

♪ It's the way you held me near ♪

♪ Like I was fighting your fears ♪

♪ And holding back all your tears ♪

♪ You know time's in short supply ♪

♪ And I know it's not really goodbye ♪

♪ Be small inside my lungs ♪

♪ Quick sand so I can't run away, love ♪

♪ I want you to stay, love ♪

♪ Be the promise that I keep ♪

♪ Day dreams when I can't sleep alone, love ♪

♪ I miss you in my bones, love ♪

♪ I miss you in my bones ♪

All right, so how we doing?

It's not fitting.

Well, you just gotta Tetris it.

What?

Just here, take the camera.

Ben, you have got to keep this lens clean.

Gosh, what are you gonna do without me?

I'm gonna take that lens

and I'm gonna do awful things to it.

Don't you dare.

Why not?

It's not like you're gonna be here to stop me, right?

I guess not.

There we go.

Here, come here.

There she is.

Hey, what about you, huh?

What are you gonna do without me?

I don't know.

I guess it's kind of an unknowing adventure, right?

Sure is.

Oh, there we are.

You are going to be amazing.

You're gonna go to New York,

one of the greatest cities in the world,

and you're gonna be inspired by everything there

and you're gonna make beautiful movies about love.

And the first thing you're gonna do when you make them

is you're gonna send them to me.

And you are going to be great too.

You're gonna be the star of the show,

just like you've always been.

You are gonna find your purpose.

You're gonna take your time and it's gonna be beautiful.

And when you find it, the first thing you're gonna do

is call me and tell me what it is.

But what if it's like, turns out to be like ecospheres

or something and I'm just some weird guy

who hangs out at ponds and swamps and stuff.

Then I'm going to be so proud of my swamp monster.

You're so stupid.

I love you.

Never gets old hearing you say that.

Never gets old saying it.

I love you too.

All right

Goodbye my love.

Bye Lacy.

Bye Ben.

Get that shot I told you to do.

What, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪ I know she's not the one ♪

So I think now I'm gonna start the vlog,

because before there was this big problem with this,

it was a question Lacy had brought up a long time ago.

What is this?

Who are you?

I didn't know who I was making this for,

but now

I know who I'm making this for.

I know who you are.

You are...

You are...

Sorry, did I just, are you filming something?

Yeah, yeah, you did, but it's fine, it's fine.

I'm so sorry, I didn't see the...

No, no, no, no, it's fine.

Seriously, your pants are really cute,

so it just made the shot look better.

Thanks, their thrifted.

Super good for the environment.

Exactly, yeah, I...

Yeah, so why are you, why are you...

Why am I filming in the middle of the sidewalk?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, honestly, I just look really good on camera,

so, I carry it around wherever I go.

Yeah, is that right?

Yeah, absolutely.

Hey, but it's common trait, you know?

Well, you think I have it?

Only one way to find out.

Okay.

Hi, hi.

Hi, I'm Ben. - Emma.

Nice to meet you. - You too.

So what brought you this way

to rudely walk through my shot?

Literally just going to get some coffee.

Whoa, what was that?

What?

What's harumph?

Oh, well, I just, look, I prefer tea.

Oh, god. - That's all.

Geez.

Well, it's scientifically proven, okay.

Yeah, yeah, it's better for you and means...

And I like it better, I like the taste.

Coffee's so earthy and rich, tea is actually refreshing.

Well, I have a sweet tooth.

Ever heard of chai?

Chai latte, yeah.

Chai tea, chai tea.

It's the same spice profile, but taste way,

I guarantee that I can show you some tea

that you would love.

Yeah, okay.

Let's go get some tea.

Okay.

Come on Ben.

Sure, yeah.

Yeah, let me just turn this camera off real quick.

♪ Would you you care to talk to me ♪

♪ Lady, realize ♪

♪ Yours' are the only eyes ♪

♪ That I care to see ♪

♪ Why won't you see me? ♪

♪ Well I wish ♪

♪ Oh I wish you were my Clementine ♪

♪ Well I wish ♪

♪ Well I will ♪