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Give me this one thing, please.
Yes!
That felt really good.
I needed that.
I'm lonely.
I think... I think I'm getting desperate.
I just keep walking around and see all these people, their faces buried in
their phones, and I feel like a stranger in a world full of zombies who
can't see me, or worse, won't see me.
Look, I'm not picky. I don't need to be in deep connection every second of the
day, but it'd be nice just to feel the gentle proximity of another human, you
know?
Hear them breathing.
Smell their breath.
I'm lucky at that gentle touch of extremities that just
like
Hey, Dad, it's Greg.
I was just looking at my calendar tomorrow and I'm just so busy.
So, I'm not going to make it to lunch with you and Mom.
I'm sorry.
I've been in his apartment for six days.
He has no idea I'm here.
The modern-day version of, like, going out for a walk or getting some fresh
air, you know? He goes out and drives, like, once a day.
And he doesn't go anywhere.
He just drives and listens to this true crime podcast, and he doesn't look at
anybody or anything. Look.
He didn't even look in the back seat when he got in the car.
I mean, maybe I have an overactive imagination, but anybody could be back
here. It's crazy. It's like...
It's like I don't even exist.
Tell me you got that
I genuinely think once it went well.
for us to take it up a notch.
Hi, do you have a moment to talk about the future of the environment?
I already give to Greenpeace.
You do?
Yeah.
That's great.
Um... Are you lying?
Because I lie about it when people come to my door. It's okay. I don't really
want the money. I just want to have a conversation with you. I'm sorry.
I'm really busy.
I get that.
Um... I can wait. If you could carve some time... I'm really overloaded with
work, man. I get it. I get it. I get it. Look, and I'm being pushy, and I
apologize. This is important to me. If you...
What's all this busyness about, really? At the end of the day, if we don't take
time to have a conversation about the meaningful issues that... Don't do that.
Don't do that. Don't say that shit about meaning... Well, I'm a bad person
because I don't actively try to save the world. I don't give to non-profits. I
thought you said you give to...
I got a lot of shit to do, man. I really got to do it all and I'm already feeling
really overwhelmed. Look, if you're feeling overwhelmed, talk about that
too. Men's mental health issues. Look, I just want to talk with you on your
couch. Fuck off, dickface!
Well, that was a mistake.
I was stupid and reckless and dumb and stupid.
You stupid, you know, you scared him.
This is so hard.
Is it even worth it? I mean, what do we have in common anyway, you know?
I like three-and-a-half-hour Nordic nature documentaries. He can barely pay
attention to a three-and-a-half-second Internet video.
So maybe I just...
Let's get it over with.
No. No, I don't want to. I don't want to do it.
I just believe if we could connect across this great divide, then anyone...
The fable goes like this.
There was once a mighty queen, and her villagers went mad from drinking from a
poisoned well.
The king and queen were spared this fate because they had their own well.
And as the angry villagers stormed the castle gate, the queen realized there
might only be one solution.
She turned to the king and said, We could always drink from the poisoned
well, dear.
Her husband looked at her confused and said, But then we'd go mad too.
Yes, the queen replied.
But at least we'd all be the same again.
It's so beautiful.
Isn't it, Crack?
Maybe I need to drink from the poisoned well.
Join the...
I do know one thing for sure.
As I bask in the warm, sour milk breath of Greg,
I know that I would be willing to wait as long as it takes for
you to finally see me.
It's okay.
What the fuck? What the fuck?
Greg?
You okay?
Greg, my foot. My foot.
It really hurts. What are you doing in my house? Greg, I will explain
everything to you, but I need to get my foot back.
Thank you.
Please, no.
I can't do that, Greg.
Why?
Because you're holding the door closed.
Wait.
Wait, what?
Connection, man.
What?
Look, I've been watching you these past six days. You're lonely. You've been in
my house for six fucking days. Okay, Greg, you're clearly befuddled, so I'm
gonna tell you what's happening here, okay?
You keep saying, get out of my house, get out of my house, but what are you
actually doing? You're actively keeping me inside your house.
Mm-hmm.
You know why?
Because you're lonely, and you don't want me to leave.
And that's what's happening here, Greg.
So here's what we're gonna do, okay?
I'm gonna take my hand off this door right now.
It's done.
And if you actually want me to leave, all you have to do is take your hand off
the doorknob, and I will walk right out of your apartment and out of your life
forever.
If that's what you want.
Ball's in your court, Greg.
Greg?
Greg?
Where are you?
Are you in the tub again?
That is just the worst hiding spot.
Oh.
Flew the coop.
Or did you?
You stabbed me!
Blood brothers!
No, no, no, no, no, no, don't leave.
It's okay, it's okay.
Greg, ow,
ow,
ow.
Don't leave the door.
We have to have a conversation, okay?
I'm a human being standing in front of you.
You're a human being.
I'm sorry. I didn't get that. Greg, come on. Just put the phone down. I'm in 662
Mayfield. Please just call me. Greg, Greg, I am warning you. Hello, sir?
These things are going to be the death of us. Sir? Put the phone down.
Can you describe the intruder? Is this someone you know?
Go ahead. Tell her.
Greg, describe me.
Tell her you know me. Come on, Greg, please.
Sir? I don't know him.
It's a fucking psycho. I don't know him. Please.
I have a six-piece in me.
Whoa.
That was crazy.
Just so busy.
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