Original subtitles

Hey, what's going on?

We're done.

Dr. Langer gave us the order to pack up our stuff and move out.

Well, if you're all done, then that means Pam and I aren't working together anymore.

I could ask her out on a date.

Gotta find Pam!

Come on!

Oh, man, come on!

No, no, no!

I win!

Whoa!

Whatever!

I don't even care, because I'm graduating tomorrow, and we gonna party!

You ready for my grand party, dude?

Of course.

I'm on the planning committee.

Cool, man.

What a year!

I've been learning and growing and doing so much,

all while holding on to a steady girlfriend.

I'm really amazing, you know?

Man, the rate I'm going, I'll probably get my college degree before you get yours.

Yeah.

Well, in my past year, I got really good at this video game.

Hold that thought, dude.

Principal Dean?

Hello?

Come to school now?

Deadly serious?

I'll talk to you later.

Oh, no.

Graduation's canceled.

No graduation for Rigby!

Come on, Principal Dean!

You can't fail me!

Who said anything about failing you?

On the phone!

You said it was deadly serious!

Okay, I can see how that could sound ominous.

But this is good news.

Are you familiar with the television program, Inspire America?

You mean that cheesy show with inspirational stories,

then everybody cries, then everybody dances at the end?

That's the one!

See, Rigby, apparently you're an inspiration to this country.

Most kids who drop out don't come back.

But you did.

So you, Rigby, are gonna give this year's graduation speech on TV.

But graduation's tomorrow!

Better get moving.

Oh, and Rigby, if you screw this up for me, I'm gonna eat your diploma.

Ha!

I'm just pulling your chain.

Actually, no.

Yeah, I will eat it.

And now back to Inspire America!

And now you've been baking cookies for lawyers for how many years now?

Thirty-seven!

An eternity!

And it never occurred to you that lawyers probably

make enough money to buy cookies if they want them?

Never!

Not once!

Amazing.

But more than amazing.

Inspiring.

Say it with me, folks.

INSPIRE AMERICA!

So inspirational!

Don't worry, Rigby.

It's so cool you're gonna be on that show.

I'm bummed I can't be there for your graduation because I'm graduating from college.

No problem!

We'll hang out at my party after.

If I've learned anything from my extended high school education,

it's that we have to seek beauty and truth in the ordinary.

The greatest mistake a man can make is to search for flowers among the weeds,

overlooking the fact that oftentimes, the very weeds are flowers.

Wow!

That's great!

Is that the beginning of your speech?

No.

But actually, you wanna hear what I got so far?

Sure, I guess.

Okay, one sec.

Teachers!

Teachers!

Students!

Students!

Other attendees!

Put your hands together!

That's all I got so far.

I don't know, Rigby.

It just needs a lot more... just a lot more.

Just speaking as someone with a lot of on-camera

experience, I don't know if this will work... on-camera.

Not good, man.

Okay.

Okay.

Good notes.

Well... Could you guys check out my outro?

Maybe?

Yeah!

Let's see it!

High school goes by like a puff of smoke!

Peace out!

Sorry I'm late, guys.

Where have you been, bro?

Who could've used some help gathering all of Rigby's favorite things for this party?

I mean, the trampoline's not heavy, but it's a very awkward shape to carry alone.

No, not his favorite belongings.

His favorite things!

Like hummus, mini toasts, food and beverages.

Well, how am I supposed to surprise Rigby with his favorite

foods at his party, if I don't even know what they are?

Mordecai, you're his best friend.

What is he like?

I guess there's this fancy coffee soda he's really into.

Caffeiney.

Perfect.

Take my Van.

But it's seasonal!

I'd have to drive all the way out to the Caffeiney outlet to get it now.

Then it'll be extra touched that you took the time!

Is all this really necessary?

I mean, graduating from high school is like the least a person can accomplish.

But it's a big deal for Rigby!

I can't believe I have to explain this to him!

He's your best friend, dude.

Fine.

I'll be back in a really long time.

Man, what's with him?

Okay, so we've got Mordecai on the soda, Eileen's got dessert.

Hmm.

Anyone seen Benson?

Ham?

Pam!

Pam!

Pam!

This is hopeless.

I've checked everywhere!

Pam!

Not Pam.

There she is!

Pam?

Are you kidding me?

Pam?

Pam?

Pam?

Pam?

Pam?

Pam?

Pam?

Hello?

Mordecai!

I'm freaking out!

I've been writing speeches all day and they're all junk!

I'm running out of time.

I don't know what to do.

All my favorite stuff is gone.

Where are you, dude?

I really need you over here.

Look.

I really can't do this right now.

I'm busy.

What?

But what do I do?

I don't know.

You're so smart now.

Why don't you go listen to a sad song and figure it out.

Whoa!

What?

Dude!

I gotta go.

Well, a person can work first after a hard day of nothing much at all.

The summer's passed, it's too late to cut the grass.

There ain't much to break anyway in the fall.

And sometimes I just ain't in the mood.

To chase my place and back for life now.

You're like a picture on the bridge that's never stopped with food.

I used to live at home, now I stay at the house.

And everybody wants to be special here.

They call your name out loud and clear.

Here comes the regular.

Time to rebuild the wall around my heart.

The Great Wall of Benson.

How great.

More pointless orders.

Look behind you.

Pam!

You're here!

Yep, I'm here.

Hello.

Hello!

Wow!

Phew!

What a relief.

I thought you were leaving forever.

Sounds like quite the misunderstanding.

I guess so.

Oh, by the way, I got you something.

Wow!

The Clipmaster 5000.

Will you go out with me?

You're asking me out?

Yep.

Yes.

I say yes.

Great.

You free tomorrow?

Yes!

No!

It's Rigby's graduation party.

You want to come?

I'd love to.

Great!

See you tomorrow, Benson.

See you tomorrow.

You're all about to hear a very powerful speech from

someone who has shown immense growth over the last semester.

Please welcome Rigby to the stage.

Woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo!

What?

Inspire us, Banana Man!

Oh, no.

I, uh, as many before me have said, I mean, as they

say when they're talking about stuff, such as things.

What?

Mordecai, what's going on?

How are you still not here?

Rigby, I just have stuff to do, okay?

You already said you have stuff to do.

Aren't you done doing your stuff?

No, I'm not done.

What could you be doing that's more important than this?

Come on, dude.

You gotta do this for yourself.

I can't do everything for you.

What?

Bah!

I've been doing stuff for myself all spring!

I haven't needed your help all spring!

Now the one time I do and you're not doing anything for me at all!

Yeah, that's right.

I'm not doing anything for you.

I mean, can you guys believe it?

She's smart, she's funny, she's into p-mail, and she actually likes me.

It's like a crazy dream.

Yes, we're all delighted on your behalf, Benson.

Yeah, you've been alone a long time.

I don't understand why I had to put a suit on for this!

Ah, Sherm!

Oh!

Oh, I think it's almost starting!

Oh, thanks!

Got my mini TV ready.

Bye!

Class valedictorian, Eileen Roberts.

We're gonna wring every drop of sentiment from this kid.

In five, four, three, two...

We're live!

We're here live at West Anderson High, where one

special student is about to give the speech of his life.

Oh, and here comes the principal.

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been principal a long time now.

I'll be honest, I thought most kids today were empty vessels staring into the void

of their cell phones every second of every day.

But that all changed when I met one kid, uh, one man, one

kid-sized man who's been a great inspiration this year.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Rigby!

Rigby!

Uh, what a...

Whoa, look!

It's Rigby!

West Anderson High Volleyball rules!

Thanks for the lift, Frank.

Anything for my daughter's ex-boyfriend's best friend.

Prepare to get Rigby'd, America!

Ta-da!

Yeah!

Uh, okay.

Rigby, everyone!

Okay, uh... Uh...

Hello!

Class?

Lot of... Lot of people here.

Okay, uh... You may have noticed I'd like to make a big entrance.

Ask Mordecai for funny punchline.

Uh... Oh!

I guess I never got around to, uh...

Uh... I... Let me just, uh... Okay, hi...

Let me do this over.

Well, that's it, Rigby.

You lost him and there's no one to bail you out now.

Wait.

Did I say that at the mic?

This was all a prank!

Ah... Be right back, everyone!

Ahem.

Okay, well, that was unexpected.

Uh... Guess I'll have to... Pidge in while Rigby collects himself.

Sure could use a cockatiel right now.

Warren, can you get some birds up here?

Yes!

Whoa!

Is that a caffini?

But those are out of season.

Yep.

I went all the way to the outlet.

Just for you, bro.

Huh.

Seems a bit dusty.

And dented.

Heh.

Well... Look.

I guess I was mad at you.

Ah... I noticed.

The thing I don't get, though, is why?

I don't know, man.

It's been a rough couple of days for me.

For you?!

Yeah.

Look.

I know how messed up this sounds, but... It's hard to see you doing so great.

I guess I always kinda liked that I was doing better than you before.

That does sound really messed up.

I know.

But when I heard you embarrassing yourself

out there, I realized how unfair I was being.

I think it's awesome that you've worked so hard to get here.

You're graduating from high school today, man!

You did it!

I did it!

And if you can do this, then that means... Wait!

Don't say it.

Let me.

And this scar I got when I had a mole biopsied!

The rig bone finally has something to say!

Oh, thank goodness!

Sorry I left earlier, everyone.

I'm not good at this kind of thing.

I'm not good at a lot of things.

I wasn't even good at high school.

But that didn't matter.

I just wanted to accomplish something.

And yeah, maybe at first I was just trying to impress my girlfriend.

She's smart and cool and loves rocks and modern dance.

Hi, Eileen.

Hey, Rigby.

But I wouldn't be standing up here if that was all there was to it.

You see, it's pretty easy not to graduate from high school.

I did it by playing video games and straight up chilling.

Then when I set out to get my diploma, I figured life was gonna get a lot harder.

I took what I was told were the easiest classes, and I still had to do stuff.

Like scale the wall of a cave.

I had to go to China, which is very far away

for those of you that didn't go to high school.

I even had to beat a guy in a takeout food race.

Sounds pretty hard, right?

Well, warning.

What I'm about to tell you will blow your mind.

Are you ready, America?

Yeah!

Once you do the hard stuff, it becomes not that hard.

I may not be the man I used to be, the one who didn't graduate from high

school, but unexpectedly, awesomely, I could still do the fun stuff he did.

In fact, my alley fight dude's four score has never been better.

I've come a long, long way.

And in the end, I still get to be me, but better.

Now you're probably saying to yourselves, how did he do it?

And for why?

The answer is, I did these things for myself.

Not to impress anyone, but because I'm surrounded by impressive people.

People who lifted me up and showed me that it's possible to do great, hard things.

Eileen, of course.

My best friend, Mordecai.

My parents, and even Don in his own way, I guess.

Yes, America, today I may inspire you, but I'm just part of a larger chain reaction.

Let my success today lift you up so that you, too, can do great, hard things.

And after you, more people.

I am gonna eat my crusts.

I'm gonna eat my leafy Greens.

And look, Roy's walking.

And after those people, even more people.

Billions of people all over the world.

Overcoming obstacles.

Inspiring other people.

So, graduating class, go out and do great things!

Good show!

Yeah!

Even I feel inspired.

Oh, our dome pagers.

These have never gone off before.

You know who else has never gone off?

My...

Back to the park.

The scientists already packed up and left.

What can they aid us for?

I don't know, but we'd better check it out in case Pam came back.

I mean, in case the scientists...

Uh... Nah.

I mean Pam.

Back to the park, everyone.

Rigby!

Rigby!

Here's your diploma.

Safe and set.

Whoa!

Attaboy, Rigby!

Make your old man proud!

Thanks for not eating my diploma, Principal Dean.

Party at the dome!

Roons!

Dead!

Go!

Go!

Go!

Mr. Maylord!

We're here!

Dr. Langer!

There's...

Nobody... Here!

That's it.

I'm done.

I'm tired of being made a fool.

Nothing good has come from this experiment.

I'm taking this stupid thing up.

What's it say?

What?

Tell us!

Yeah, what is it?

To end the experiment...

Push the button.

Whoa!

Party!

Party!

Party!

Party!

So this is gonna take the dome off the park?

Only one way to find out.

Let's end this.

Get to the exit!

Tuck and roll!

No...

Not too much!

KRAAAAHHHHH!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

I've seen Ben's... Help?

Don't worry.

He'll be safe.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

What?

I had a date.

Surprise, Rigby!

I made your favorite dessert.

Banana souffle.

Guys, what's going on?

Oh, yeah.