Original subtitles

The items, clothes, exchanged gifts— everything’s here.

It should all be here, but you take a look too.

Here’s the gold. We checked it carefully.

With all this chaos and resentment, just say if something’s missing.

Sorry for dropping the news like this. I haven’t known what I’m doing.

Okay, Mehmet, but no one told you anything. Is this the time for all this?

You should’ve waited till she was found. Then we’d know what her issue was.

Why the rush? Why come running and dump all this on me?

Did you go to the police?

Listen to me.

Let Reza come too. We’ll go to the police. File a report, give her photo.

– Then we’ll sit and talk in detail. – No, uncle.

Thanks.

You’re a good and understanding man, but we don’t need to talk more.

Honestly, I could barely sit here.

Out of shame, I can’t look at you. And Reza—I can’t face him.

Take your gifts and gold.

Forget the engagement, forget us, forget all of this.

I no longer have a daughter like that.

If she comes back alive, I’ll kill her myself!

And if it’s her corpse that returns, I’ll throw it to the dogs.

Repent, Mehmet.

No one has the right to say such things, even if they’re her father.

Sorry, but even to an enemy, you wouldn’t think like that.

Let alone your own daughter.

A mother or father should never say that about their child.

With your permission, uncle.

Mehmet?!

So what was her problem? Why did she run away?

She didn’t say.

I didn’t pressure her. You didn’t see her state.

It’s because of me!

Why would it be because of you, son?

What did you do to the girl?

I’ve seen her twice— what could I have done?

She didn’t want me, that’s all. She ran from her dad’s pressure.

Son, why are you so eager to belittle yourself?!

Grandpa?

Did we buy all of this?

Yes, we did. Who else would’ve bought it?!

So this is how it always goes?

– What goes? – This stuff.

After the ring’s returned...

Do we take back all the gifts?

Yes, that’s how it is. How else should it be?

– Like “cow died, deal’s off”? – Pretty much.

Wow. What’s this now?

Reza?

Reza, get up son. We’ll be late.

Take it.

That’s enough.

– Grandpa, I want to ask you something. – Ask.

Aren’t you tired of waking early every single day?

And making me such a great breakfast?

I’m tired of eating it, but you’re not tired of making it.

– What happened? – I forgot the bread.

Huh? Aren’t you tired?

I am, but what can I do?

Don’t make it.

If I don’t, what will you eat?

– I won’t starve. I’ll find something. – That won’t work.

Nothing beats a good breakfast.

You can’t go to work like that. Then...

As soon as you start working...

You keep asking when lunch is.

Then I saw a monster Argentine Dogo standing in front of my car.

What’s an Argentine Dogo?

That big dog breed, dad.

– Small eyes, broken ears. – I don’t remember.

This one I mean.

This!

– Wow. What is that? – Argentine Dogo.

I said, what’s this dog doing here? I walked up slowly.

It looked at me, then the car.

Then it jumped in and sat in front like it was its dad’s car.

I got closer—scared by its size.

I said “shoo” a few times, but it didn’t move.

Then I went to the trunk and grabbed the club.

You didn’t hit it, did you?

No way. Don’t let its size fool you— they’re like kids.

You can’t bring yourself to do it. But it’s scary when they’re big.

I nudged it with the club a few times, but it still didn’t move.

Then it saw the back seat was empty and jumped in to lie down.

– So big you couldn’t see the seat. – So what did it want?

We asked, but it didn’t say.

– Maybe thought it was its own car. – What do you mean?

Joshkun said someone dumped it from a car a few days ago.

If it looked like mine, it probably got confused.

They get attached to their owners.

True. Dogs are like that.

I called Joshkun and said come quick. This won’t do.

He came, saw it, and said don’t worry. Leave it to me.

We closed all the doors. Only one was left open.

We sprayed the back. It flailed around. Then we sprayed the front.

It came forward—we sprayed it. It moved aside—we sprayed again.

Then it jumped out the door.

– Oh man. – It kept jumping into cars.

People had to force it out.

What kind of afternoon disaster was that?

– Uncle, can I ask you something? – Ask away, uncle.

– Why do these things happen to you, not to us? – What do you mean?

All the weird stuff happens to you. We’re like weeds—just come and go.

How could that be?

Things like that happen to you too, but you don’t notice.

Grandpa knows I’ve been aware since childhood. Very perceptive.

I’ve always been like that. Maybe that’s why. I don’t know.

Give it.

You really are a good soul. I was about to message when you called.

I’m at work. What else can I eat?

Swear to God? Swear to God?

Wow! Where’d the waiter find a girl?

Got it.

No way, man... Sardar won’t let her go.

Son, are we in the right place? Was it here?

Was it from here?

Thanks.

You still haven’t taken off your clothes?

– No, I undressed then put them back on. – Why?

Didn’t feel like it.

Didn’t feel like me?

No, my mind’s busy today. I’m anxious. Can’t help it.

– Did something bad happen? – Nothing happened.

Then take it and sit down.

Take this off.

Reza, what happened with your story?

– Which story? – What do you mean?

You kept talking about weddings and engagements—you fried our brains.

Haven’t heard from you in ages.

– That ended a long time ago. – What do you mean?

It ended. We called it off.

– Swear. – I swear to God.

Why?

No specific reason. Let’s just call it incompatibility.

We saw it wasn’t working, so we talked and split.

– Damn. When did that happen? – Ages ago.

– I’m sorry to hear that. – Nothing we can do.

Stay strong, brother. Maybe it was for the best.

Forget it, man. Later on, physical mismatch might’ve come up.

Gotta look on the bright side.

Sorry to bother you at this hour.

It’s okay.

Can I come in?

Are you sick? You look pale.

No, I’m fine.

Are you hungry?

No, but a glass of water would help. I’m feeling a bit dizzy.

Here you go.

Here you go.

Reza?

Reza, get up son. Don’t be late.

One sec, buddy... He talks like that because of his drooping chin...

I just want to ask something.

He said, are we the UN or the Red Cross?

He said this whole thing’s out of hand.

Forget the Syrians—there’s Afghans, Uzbeks, Kyrgyz, even Africans...

Yesterday in Ankara, one guy saw a fight break out...

between Sudanese and Mozambicans.

They drank like crazy at the bar, then split into two groups of fifty...

and fought till morning— punching and clubbing each other.

Police didn’t do a thing. Why? They had diplomatic immunity.

They were diplomat kids.

He said, what kind of logic is that, brother? Even if they draw swords...

No one should touch the Mozambicans.

He said, brother, where even is Mozambique? Where is Mozambique?

He said, offer two billion to find it on a map. Swear to God they couldn’t.

We laughed so hard.

Tea flew out of Ahmad Agha’s mouth. I collapsed on the floor.

Mojtaba and the others dropped their cards.

He’s a really strange guy. Hilarious.

– Let’s go. – You go ahead. Something came up.

– What is it? – Majideh’s son’s circumcision party.

Want a ride?

– Nah, I want to walk a bit. – Okay, whatever you like.

– Don’t be too late. – I won’t.

Reza?

– Where to? – Going home.

– What’s that? – Nothing.

– You want to have fun? – No man, just wanted to walk a bit.

– Why were you bored? – Don’t you see the state of things?

What state?

Dollar hit 900. The stock market crashed.

America sent a message to Iran. Iran threatened Israel.

– What’s there to be bored of in this life? – Don’t talk nonsense, man.

– Where are you going? – Where else? Home.

– But if you stop whining, we could take a walk. – Fine.

This place is beautiful, man. Gives you a strange feeling.

Feels like God’s about to call out and say “Welcome, Reza.”

– Come on, man. – Why?

I don’t know. Who says stuff like that?

What’s wrong with it? Imagine we came to visit and kiss the hand of God, our father.

Would it be so strange for him to welcome his kids?

Not really, but I don’t know.

Honestly, you’re right.

We’re going to see the match this week.

– Really? – Yeah.

As the Eagles crew, we’re renting a minibus. You in?

– Sounds good. What day? – Sunday.

Alright, sounds good.

– I’ll talk to my grandpa tomorrow. – Okay.

– We’re also prepping a big banner. – What’s it say?

We fucked the days without you.

Respect.

We’ve missed you so much, man. It’s been ages since we saw the Eagle.

Let’s not make it dramatic or sad. Let’s pour ourselves out on the pitch.

That’s it, man. We don’t have anyone.

Did we have a fiancée like you to miss?

– We don’t anymore either, man. – What do you mean?

She’s gone. The engagement’s off.

– No way? – Believe it.

– Why? – No reason. It just didn’t work.

We saw it wasn’t working, agreed, and parted ways.

I want to say...

But since the truth will come out later, better I don’t.

Man, just tell it straight.

There’s nothing to tell. She didn’t want me.

– What do you mean didn’t want you? – She ran off without a word.

– How did she run off? – Stop asking me the same thing.

No, I swear I didn’t get it.

She didn’t want me. She ran off. What don’t you understand?

– How’s that possible? Is this kindergarten? – Something like that.

So why did she run away?

She didn’t explain. Probably because of her dad.

Do we know where she went?

They say she went to Istanbul. No one knows for sure.

Damn it. Your grandpa was so happy you were getting married.

I’m more upset for him. He doesn’t say anything, but he’s bottling it up.

Of course he is. He’s like a prophet. God knows how hurt he is.

Forget it, man. Screw it. She ran off, so be it.

If she didn’t want a guy like you, screw her. Let her rot.

That’s what I said too.

What is this now? The country’s turned into Dallas.

– What was Dallas? – How should I know?

My dad says that in times like this. That’s where I got it.

What kind of times?

These crazy ones.

Do you hear yourself?

Wait. You misunderstood. I didn’t mean it like that.

You’re my brother, man. I’m sorry.

Swear to God, I’d never say that. You’re my brother.

Anyway. I said it like that, but it’s not that simple.

What’s not that simple?

Just saying “I’m leaving” out of love. Doesn’t work.

– So how does it work? – I don’t know. But not like that.

– What are you saying, man? – Forget it.

– Keep this between us, okay? – Don’t worry.

Tomorrow I’ll announce it to the whole city on loudspeakers.

Wouldn’t put it past you. Anything’s possible these days.

People of Boyabat: this is it. Be aware.

She left her fiancé and ran away. Should I say it like that?

Say it.

Should we really announce it?

Things are already messy. Let’s mess them up more.

Let’s do it. I’ve got no problem.

I said, my dear daughter, we’ll say you went to visit your aunt...

Just come back before nightfall so no one suspects anything.

She said okay, mom.

She said I’m just a little scared of dad. Let him calm down a bit.

She said I’ll stay a few more days. I said okay. She stayed.

Two days later, her aunt’s husband picked her up and sent her off. Then he called.

He said, I’ve sent the girl off.

According to the driver, as the bus was leaving the terminal...

She said her aunt was taken to hospital. She got off. Then disappeared!

What about Uncle Mehmet? Isn’t he doing anything?

He’s doing nothing. No strength left. His honor is gone.

He’s ashamed. Avoids everyone.

At first I feared he might go and hang himself.

He doesn’t eat. Works all day in the fields. Keeps digging the same spot.

A man as tough as a mountain has turned into a madman.

– Son, what are you doing here? – Nothing.

Why are you up so early?

I couldn’t sleep.

– Come on, let’s make breakfast. – Okay, I’m coming.

Grandpa, can I sleep a bit and come later? My head really hurts.

Okay, son.

Sleep and rest. You don’t have to work today.

I’ll sleep a bit. Then we’ll see.

Alright. Don’t push yourself.

So what are you planning to do now?

– Here? – Yeah.

I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it before.

I don’t even know where in a city this big you’d look for someone.

If that’s the case, I’ll wander a bit and come back.

Police said if she doesn’t want to be found, it’ll be hard.

Unless something bad happened to her. God forbid.

By the way, where are you staying?

I’ve got a university classmate. I’m staying with him.

You okay? Need anything?

No thanks. That’s our problem. Sorry for bothering you.

Don’t say that. Hejran is our daughter and dear to us too.

Since that day, smiles have dried up on everyone’s lips at home.

Let me save your number before I forget.

– This was it, right? – Yeah, that’s the one.

– What’s your last name? – Uysal.

Reza Uysal.

– If you need anything, don’t hesitate. – Okay.

I’d say come to our place tonight, but you see how things are here.

– Thanks. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll head out. – Of course.

Aren’t you running late?

– Yeah. – So?

– I’m eating breakfast. Shouldn’t I? – Get up, man.

How are you, bro? What’s new?

Nothing. Wishing well to be well.

– You came home late last night. – Yeah, wandered a bit.

Where?

Bakırköy. Then I walked a bit along the beach at night.

Good for you.

Any news?

No.

Damn it.

It’s fine. Don’t rush.

Of course it’s not fine. She’s got strong protection.

Yashar, I’ve got a question.

Been curious for a long time.

Ask, brother. Go ahead.

– How can you know how we live without asking questions? – What?

Forget it. What’s your question?

You and this guy go to the same university and same class, right?

Yes.

– He goes to university every morning. – Okay?

But you go whenever you feel like it.

Sometimes you don’t go at all. Right?

Right.

How does that work?

How’s that possible?

Okay.

– I’m asking how, but don’t tell anyone. – That’s rude. Don’t say it like that.

I don’t go to university.

What?

I’m not studying, man. I don’t even have a file there.

So what have you been doing?

– Pretending to be a student. – Why?

There’s no why, man. I’m just living.

Do your family know?

Are you crazy? If my dad finds out, he’ll have a stroke.

He’ll tear me apart before he dies.

How do you manage it? Don’t they get suspicious?

Honestly, sometimes they do, but...

– We just go along with it. – How?

Let me explain it to my brother...

This house, textbooks, and photos— they’re all fake.

Even that guy.

– Rashad? – Yeah, Rashad.

When they see all this, they don’t suspect a thing.

– Doesn’t Rashad study like crazy? – No, Rashad studies.

He just pretends we’re classmates.

In return, he lives and eats here. I even give him cash.

Like a bribe?

What bribe, Reza dear? If someone tries to take a bribe from me, I’ll—

Let’s call it a scholarship.

A kind of loan.

Something like a dormitory loan or whatever.

That’s good. So I’m the dormitory manager now.

So what happens next?

Eventually you’ll get caught. What will you do then?

There’s no “what will happen.”

We’ll think about that when it comes. Right now we go step by step.

Step by step. Just like the champion player says.

Same for us. We think game by game.

But yeah, sometimes dad gets suspicious.

He asks, “Isn’t this damn university ever ending?” I say it’s slow and invite him over.

He’s a womanizer, that bastard. He flies in right away.

It’s like a secret deal between us, to get rid of my mom.

A win-win game.

Then when he sees the show, he has no choice but to leave.

Think about it. What do parents prefer to believe?

No parent wants to think their kid is conning them.

Do what you want, but you’ll get caught. Don’t take it lightly.

Caught how? You think I’m stupid?

This is Turkey, man.

Here, people believe what they want.

If I get caught, I’ll destroy myself. If not, I’ll screw him over.

What kind of calm is that?

That guy’s killing himself studying, and you’re mocking it. Nice.

Killing himself? He’s screwing everyone over from where he sits.

You don’t seem to know him.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say.

But I envy your confidence, brother. Respect.

I should be respected. Not everyone can do this. It takes guts.

People are ashamed to claim their rights. We poke the devil in the eye.

We take risks, man. Risks.

– You see this guy? Rashad? – Yeah?

Don’t mind me picking on him. He’s a strange phenomenon.

Top student in school. Don’t know his rank. Total nerd, that bastard.

God gave him brains and smarts, but denied him everything else.

He denied him everything else too.

When I met him, he was starving.

He was sleeping on the streets from poverty.

Not even poverty—just total absence. Like a desert. I took him in.

His father had died, and his mother was insane. But look at him now.

Under my wing, he lives like a human.

He eats, has a warm place, goes to university. Maybe he’ll be someone big.

The country will win. The people will win.

That’s how it is.

Don’t call me a drifter, Yashar. We’re doing something good here.

In this life, everything causes something else.

Every person is a reason for another.

I couldn’t explain it fully, but it’s something like that.

– I’ll pour for you too. – Have mercy. You’ve poured for everyone.

That was good, man.

Bastard.

– Whose idea was this? – Mine.

– Go ahead, Inspector. – Khalil, why didn’t you handle it?

Sir, we said we’d follow up. Everyone’s in Taksim. He had to wait.

Don’t exaggerate. Is pressing a button that hard?

– Right away, sir. – Get it done now.

Can this stay?

– Yes, Inspector. – Alright.

You move forward with this button too.

Go.

You love playing the victim and causing trouble. Feel better now?

I’ve got no problem, sir.

Hello. Bless you.

Come on in. Your mother-in-law loves you.

What’s the occasion? A party?

– I messaged you. Didn’t you see? – No.

Yeah, you did... Come quick. We’ve got a party.

– Come sit. – I’ll wash my hands and come.

Your family came? Where’s all this from?

No way. Our family couldn’t make stuffed grape leaves like this.

Oh wow. Who cooked this?

– Your grandpa. – I was about to say that. Just like his.

– Seriously, who made it? – I swear, your grandpa. He’s praying.

Son, what’s going to happen with this? How long will it go on?

I don’t know, Grandpa.

Whatever happens, however long it takes— I won’t come back till I find her.

– You’re not thinking about anything else, right? – Like what?

People say you bought a gun from Ayvaz’s son.

What else?! Who said that?

I heard it... where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

I didn’t buy a gun. They’re talking nonsense.

– So what would I do with a gun? – How should I know?

Am I going to shoot someone? Am I a killer?

Your friends said it. When everyone said it, we got scared.

We thought maybe the way she left hurt your pride.

Don’t listen to people. They’ll push you into crime. Am I stupid?

Come on, we didn’t believe it either.

But I wanted to hear it from you myself.

You heard it. Don’t worry. That won’t happen.

Alright then.

Let’s say you find her. What will you do? What will you say?

I’ll ask her if I ever hurt her.

I’ll ask what I did that made her run away without a word.

– So what happens if you ask? – We’ll understand the reason.

Don’t I have the right to know the truth? Should I live with a question mark?

Am I spineless or dishonorable? What did I even do to her?

Okay, maybe she couldn’t face me. But couldn’t she call or message?

And say, “I don’t want you. I won’t marry you. Go to hell”?

If she’d said that honestly, what would I have done?

Don’t talk nonsense. Who says that? No one talks like that. What world is this?

– Then she’ll see what happens. – See what?

The meaning of leaving like that.

– What do you mean? – She’ll see.

– Didn’t you just say you’re not a killer? – I still say it.

But if I don’t ask her what I did, it’ll stay in my heart forever.

After that, I won’t be able to do anything.

– Did you learn to talk like this here? – What kind of talk?

– Talking all mysterious. You didn’t used to. – What am I saying?

I get it. You’re not coming back.

– No. – Fine. Don’t come back, let’s see.

How will you find her? You’ve been stuck here two months. Any sign or trace?

No.

Son, Istanbul is a city of twenty million.

You can’t tell up from down. It’s chaos. It’s a deep pit.

Can you find someone in this sea of people?

Don’t take it wrong, but you’ve got no sense.

To say two words, you’re putting yourself through misery. Look at your state.

– What’s wrong with my state? – How do you know she’s still here?

There’s Ankara, Izmir, Samsun, Diyarbakir, Konya. Turkey’s huge.

Son, you’ve done all you could. Your heart is calm, your conscience clear.

From here on, it’s up to her.

And above that, it’s God’s will.

Even her parents gave up. Is it right you’re still wandering after her?

Especially chasing a girl who doesn’t want you— that starts to mean something else.

Let’s go back home. You’ll get busy, and gradually forget. It’ll be fine.

Come on, son. Let’s go back home.

I’ll tell you something for the first time. Whether you go back or not is your choice.

But what I’m about to tell you— don’t forget it as long as you live.

A year after your late father passed away...

It seemed like we’d gotten used to it... but we weren’t eating or celebrating.

We were just living. Or more accurately, trying to live.

One day I was sitting in the shop and something started bothering me.

I thought, we’ve been so caught up in pain...

We haven’t even asked how this girl is doing— if she’s okay or what she’s doing.

I remembered your mother.

A young bride...

After your father died, she didn’t want to go back home.

Before the funeral, she came to me...

She said, “Dad, if you’ll allow me, I want to stay here forever.”

“I want to raise my son in his father’s house.”

“Just don’t separate me from my Yusef...”

“I’ll do all your chores, I’ll help you out.”

“I won’t bring shame or let any gossip start.”

And I said, “Alright, my daughter. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Some time passed. You were about three...

One day I sat her down.

I asked how she was. I said, “Are you okay? Any problems?”

I’m telling you this for the first time too.

Just like your dad is my son, your uncle is my son...

Right now, as much as I love you—

I loved that girl even more than my own kids. She was brave, noble, and faithful.

She said, “No, Dad, under your care I’m fine.”

“But life without Yusef is hard. Wherever he isn’t, I can’t breathe.”

“One day I’ll leave everything—even Reza— and go to him.”

I was shocked. I couldn’t speak.

At that age, I’d never seen such love and honesty in anyone.

A pain rose from here. My heart...

It beat so hard I couldn’t hold back— I kissed her hands and pressed them to my face.

But from that day on, I lived with the fear that...

this pure woman might leave us and abandon us.

I didn’t tell anyone. Even if I had, what good would it do?

In a time when no one sees anyone, and no one trusts anyone...

and everyone’s neck-deep in trouble—

who would understand this, and how? And even if they did, what could they do?

Anyway...

About a month passed...

One afternoon...

A kid came running into the shop...

But the moment he entered, I knew.

He said, “Uncle Borhan, Miss Asiye hanged herself.”

You’re the son of a mother like that, my boy.

Don’t chase a woman who doesn’t want you, doesn’t love you, and withholds her love.

Don’t insist on making her your wife.

No one finds happiness in that marriage.

Sorry, but asking someone to stay when they want to leave is dishonorable.

How are you, Reza?

I’m good, thanks. How are you?

– Still around here? – Yeah. What’s up?

Last night there was a raid. They arrested a bunch of girls.

Some were asked about Hejran. One said she knows her.

But she’s on meds, so they’re not sure. They say you should come talk too.

What happened?

Honestly, it’s ridiculous to say now, but I don’t really know her.

– Who? Hejran? – Yes.

We were engaged, sure, but maybe I wouldn’t recognize her on the street.

Truth is, I saw her twice. And both times we barely spoke.

– So? – So...

If she shows up now and asks “Who are you?” what am I supposed to say?

That’s true, but you’ve been here for months. You never thought about this?

I kind of remember—she had a book in her hand. Even if she didn’t...

She had a student vibe, or her style was like that.

Honestly, I don’t fully remember.

– Are you sure it’s the same girl? – Yes, I’m sure.

Maybe I’m mixing up the student part but...

It was her. Quiet and smug.

She had two cappuccinos.

Then she gave me a dirty look and changed seats because of my smoke.

Don’t get involved with me. Find that bastard Yilmaz— then everything will be clear.

Who’s Yilmaz?

– A pimp. Everyone here knows him. – Watch your language.

You’re right. With makeup she looked similar, but that girl was a student.

She dropped out and returned early on.

– Who is this girl? – None of your business. Just say yes or no.

– I don’t know her. Never seen her. – Listen, Yilmaz.

Let me say this first so there’s no hard feelings.

If it turns out you knew her, I’ll break your other leg too.

Alright? You agree?

Sir, what’s the point of this now?

This has nothing to do with me. Why would I lie?

God knows that, but I’ve said my piece.

Also, I’m not an inspector. Stop calling me that.

– I swear I didn’t know. – Now you do. Don’t say it again.

Alright, I won’t. I just don’t get it— why are you getting heated?

Everyone’s so angry these days!

Brother, have we met before?

Brother? Brother?

Now I remember you. You didn’t give me a tissue on the ferry?

I don’t know what’s going on, but you seem upset.

You seem like a good guy. I know a lot of people.

Give me a phone number. I’ll ask around.

If I find anything, I’ll let you know. Alright?

Sounds good. Thanks.

Appreciate it.

– What’s your relation to this girl? – She’s family.

Alright then.

Take care.

Like I said, if I find anything, I’ll definitely call. Okay?

– Thanks. – Take care.

Hello?

I’m on my way... okay, I’m coming.

Professor, did you notice the sea water is really green?

Bless you, my brother.

How could I not notice? I’ve been thinking about it too.

You’re not messing with me, right?

What are you saying, brother? I said the same thing this morning.

I said the sea’s turned green like the Maldives. Are they dyeing it?

They said there’ll be an earthquake and mocked me.

So what’s your theory?

– Blessing? – What blessing? Fish?

No brother. What fish?

– Bacteria. – What bacteria?

I’ve got a professor customer. I was curious and called to ask.

It’s because of a bacteria called phytoplankton.

Wow.

Phy-to-plank-ton.

My brother learned his lesson well.

Don’t say it like that—idiots won’t believe it. I memorized it too.

Winds from the African deserts also have an effect.

That part’s a bit complicated.

It happens every year, but it doesn’t last long so people miss it.

This year the weather’s nice, so it’s lasted longer.

In the end, he said it’s a good thing. The sea cleanses itself.

It also means abundance and fish for the coming year.

Well, that’s exactly what I was saying.

Exactly.

Exactly nothing. The right answer is fish, isn’t it?

Brother, you skipped the important part and latched onto the fish.

I’m docking points for that, you know?

Yeah. I’m in front of the house now.

Okay. Niloufar Street, number 3.

Girl? Should I come in? What should I do?

– No, but don’t take too long. – Okay.

Take it.

Farid’s here.

If you hit me again, I’ll put a bullet in your head.

How’s that gonna happen?

You’ll see. I got a gun. When he comes, you’ll see.

Alright, we’ll see.

What kind of person are you? Animal!

I’m just angry, okay? It’s your fault. Stay away from me at times like that.

Look, Farid. You’re going too far. It’s gonna get bad!

What’s gonna get bad? What? What are you gonna do?

Just keep going. Keep going. You’ll see what happens.

You won’t do shit.

You’ll just get beat again and sit your ass down.

What do you want from me? What do you want?

What should I want from you?

– The police called me in. – What for?

– They’re looking for the girl. – Who?

– Who? Gizem, of course. – Who’s looking for her?

Her relatives.

Some guy our age. Turns out the chief knows him.

– How’d they find you? – Through Perihan.

– Which Perihan? – Perihan the babe.

So why’d she mention you?

She got picked up in last night’s raid too.

The chief brought in all the girls and showed them the photo.

We’d seen her once or twice at the café with this idiot.

They didn’t get along.

She saw the photo and said she knew her. Luckily, she mistook her for a student.

We dodged a bullet there.

– Does Gizem know? – I didn’t tell her.

Don’t. She’s asleep, poor thing.

Farid!

I don’t care about him. What’s wrong with you? Aren’t you ashamed?

What are you talking about? What did I do?

What the hell did you do?

– Farid, don’t. – What did you say, punk?

Yilmaz, where are you going?

She met Farid on Facebook.

She met me through mutual followers and we started talking.

She said her dad wanted to marry her off to an old man. She and her mom resisted, so he beat them.

He said, “If you don’t marry me, I’ll torture you—even rape you.”

Naturally, we were upset.

We couldn’t think of anything else to do. It happens so often.

One day she said, “I want to run away,” and asked us for help.

At first, we didn’t pay attention. We distanced ourselves.

We couldn’t trust a girl we didn’t know was real.

Another day she said, “I’m escaping to Izmir.” We said okay, come.

We said let her come so nothing bad happens. We’ll meet her and see.

One evening she came. We met in Taksim.

While talking, we got suspicious, but didn’t press her.

She said she’s from Afyon, not Boyabat. Then her ID said Afyon, and she said, “I was born there but don’t know it.”

Afraid someone might recognize her, she changed her name to Gizem.

I swear I had no part in her getting into this stuff.

She became friends with another girl who messed with her head.

And that bastard Farid— once he found out, he jumped in.

When I found out, I tried to stop it. Farid beat me and put a knife to my throat.

I got beaten for her, and she took his side. Didn’t say a word.

I was crushed. It really hurt.

He used to hit me every day. Mocked and slapped me.

But this was worse. I felt humiliated. This time they teamed up...

Mocking me and ridiculing my disability...

It was too much.

I treated her like a sister.

Protected her. Helped with every problem she had.

Now I’m heading home. None of this concerns me anymore.

But I couldn’t bear to see her destroyed by that bastard.

I didn’t want anything bad to happen. I thought about telling the police.

But I decided to tell you instead.

Who are you, man?

– Yes. – Yes what, man?

I’m asking who you are.

Who are you? Don’t recognize you?

– Better that way. If you do, you’ve met your father. – Shut up, man.

You called. Stop babbling and say what you want.

Oh wow wow wow. You’ve made me curious, kid.

I’d love to see your lovely face. Let me treat you to some tea?

Alright. I’m free now. Where should I come?

Hello?

Okay. But first tell me who you are.

Wouldn’t it be better face to face?

#The subscriber you are trying to reach is unavailable#

– What were you looking at? – The waiter.

Take it. I got it for you.

– You want anything? – I don’t want anything.

Look at me. Bring tea.

If you didn’t want anything, why were you looking at the waiter?

Don’t look at me like that. You’re making me angry.

Don’t tell me the cripple’s back?

I called twice today—his phone was off.

I don’t know if he’s back, but he says I should come to him.

Why?

He wants to sell you to the elders of his town?

Tell him not to drive me crazy or I’ll cook him a stew with an inch of oil on top.

Something wrong, bro?

Bro, did you take something? Why are you staring?

I’m talking to you, man. Can’t you hear?

How dare you come in here?! How dare you?

Weren’t the things you did enough?

Weren’t your tortures enough?

Come on, mama. Come, come. Hurry.

– You stay and don’t come out. – I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you.

Mehmet! Let go, Mehmet!

Mehmet, let go of my daughter.

Let her go, Mehmet. Let her go.

Let her go... you’re choking her...

Hey neighbors!

Help me... let go.

Hey neighbors... let her go.

Let her go, Mehmet.

– Help us. – Calm down, Mehmet.

Calm down, man.

I’ll kill you.

Let me go... I’ll kill her.

Calm down.

Okay. Calm down.

Okay. Let’s go home. Calm down.

What did you do?

What was I supposed to do? I came.

Mehmet?

Mehmet?

Mehmet?

– What? – Something wrong?

No, man. What could happen this early?

I said it’s Eid. Opened up to let sound fill the house.

Daughter, kiss your father’s hand.

Happy Eid, my dear.

Good girl.

– Happy Eid. – Same to you.

Get up, my daughter.

Go lie down in your spot.

Get up, mama.

Hejran? Are you asleep?

Daughter, I saw you didn’t come, so I came.

Hejran?!

What did you do to this place? It looks like a bouquet.

Who did all this work?

I thought you were just keeping yourself busy.

At first I started like that, then I couldn’t stop.

I said let me fix this, then that, and it ended up like this.

Honestly, it looks really good.

– Thank you. – Enjoy.

Take your tea too.

Who knows how happy the late one would’ve been.

I never dared to ask. How did mom die?

Just like she lived. She went quietly, poor thing.

It was the first night of Ramadan. I brought food in case she was too shy to ask.

Prepared a tray and placed it here. She had fallen asleep.

I said, “Mother, wake up, I brought food.” “You said you’re fasting, have a bite.”

She didn’t wake up. I thought she was asleep. I shook her.

When I touched her, her head fell forward.

Without bothering anyone, without being a burden.

She’d even prepared her shroud and put it away.

Because of COVID, she was buried the same day.

No one could come. No ceremony was held.

Your dad, the cleric, and a few others prayed. We buried her after noon prayer.

That’s life, my daughter.

Just like you’re sitting here, suddenly you’re gone.

Isn’t that the girl from “The Hill” last year?

It’s her.

But I wouldn’t have recognized her. She’s had Botox. And a nose job too.

She had such a pretty face. Now she looks cursed.

Mom, I want to say something. Don’t take it wrong.

Say it, my daughter. Why would I?

While cleaning, it came to mind. I cleaned partly thinking of her.

I don’t know what’ll happen, but maybe you could talk to dad and see.

Talk about what?

Can I live here from now on?

This situation won’t fix itself.

If I’m a bit distant, everyone will calm down. Maybe things will settle.

Especially my dad.

He’s under so much pressure.

But with a house this big, what’s the point?

Sure, you fixed this place. You come here to catch your breath, but...

I don’t know how settling here would go.

That’s exactly why I’m saying it.

Like you said, a big house— but we’re trapped in it.

We can’t breathe. It’s getting tighter every day.

Look at Mankeshe. The kid has no joy, no energy.

And you—always lost in thought. We’re all wrestling with fear and worry.

At the slightest sound, we jump. Something falls, our hearts drop.

We don’t even stir our tea anymore so it won’t make noise.

What do you say? Will you talk to dad?

– Welcome. – Thank you.

– Salad’s ready too. I’ll go now. – Okay, my daughter.

Did you finish your homework, sweetheart?

I finished math. Now I’m writing social studies.

Good job.

What’s wrong, my little one? Why are you crying?

What’s wrong, girl?

Dad is hitting mom.

Don’t be scared, okay? I’m here.

I didn’t write my social studies homework.

– It’s okay, we’ll write it together tomorrow. – I can’t. Tomorrow’s the first class.

Then I’ll come with you to school and talk to your teacher, and we’ll write it tomorrow night.

– Okay. – Now sleep. I’ll go to mom.

Okay.

– Are you okay? Still hurting? – I’m fine. I’m fine, my daughter.

I tidied everything and put it back in place.

Thank you.

– I’ll go now before he comes and sees me again. – Okay.

If anything happens, call me, okay?

No, he vented his anger. It’ll be fine.

Something wrong, kids?

Kids, I’m talking to you. Can’t you hear?

– Yeah, we heard... – So?

No. What’s supposed to happen?

Go home. People are sleeping. Don’t cause trouble.

– What kind of trouble? – Go, kid.

Don’t start drama in the middle of the night.

Mehmet, what happened?

Nothing, Uncle Suleiman. I was just talking to the kids.

Dad?

Don’t lay a hand on my mother again.

– If something’s wrong, tell me. – I’ll kill you.

I’ll strangle you right here and bury you.

Do whatever you want, but don’t hit her again.

How are you, Yousuf?

I’m good, sis. Mom and them want to talk to you.

About what?

I don’t know, they didn’t say.

– Who else is there? – Aunt Malek and sister Dardaneh’s boss.

Look, my girl, I’ll get straight to the point.

There’s a retired teacher.

Not very old. Around fifty. A really good guy.

He’s experienced, understands hardship, and is a good person.

He’s cultured—years of teaching and serving the country.

He’s raised many kids. How bad could he be?

He opened a bookstore to stay busy. He’s in good shape.

His wife died eight years ago during childbirth.

The baby survived. She’s in first grade now.

He also has an older daughter in Izmir. But we’re not concerned with her.

This part is important.

All that I said is one thing...

First, meet the guy. Talk to him. See how you feel.

See if he catches your eye. See if you like him.

What we say is useless. Even if true, it only goes so far.

If you ask me, you’ll be at ease.

Maybe the little girl will be tough at first, but I don’t think so.

He’s worked hard to raise her like a flower.

Most importantly, don’t think he’ll interfere or be jealous.

He won’t nag you every night. He doesn’t have the energy.

Bottom line: if you say yes, we’ll let him know.

You’ll meet, talk, and then make your decision.

You’ll think it over and decide.

If you ask me, no need to think. You’ll be free, and so will your family.

If you ask me, no need to think. You’ll be free, and so will your family.

God willing, you’ll have a child in a year, and everyone will move on.

A year later, everyone will forget. Honestly, what does this world have?

Even if you marry Brad Pitt, it’s just a year or two difference. All taste the same.

You saw what happened with Angelina Jolie. Good and bad all mix and fade.

What do you say, Mom?

Don’t you want to say anything?

What can I say, my daughter? I don’t have the strength.

Does Dad know?

Does he?

What does he say?

Say something.

I’m not asking anything. I just want to know if you’re okay with this.

He said it’s none of his business. She can do what she wants.

You know what I sometimes think about?

Selling the house, the car, the shop— everything...

And moving to a small village near the Aegean.

Not necessarily there. Antalya would work too.

I don’t know. Kastamonu, Tokat... If I go wild, even Tunceli.

As long as it’s peaceful.

I once saw a photo online...

At first I thought it was paradise. Then I saw...

It was a place called Avajik in Tunceli.

There’s also Artvin, Hopa, Arhavi, and Yusufeli.

After graduation, I did my service there.

Dad, the whole country is paradise. We’ll find somewhere.

That’s not the real issue. That’s just the excuse.

The real issue is the will to get up and go.

If I want, I can do the same work there. Open a shop...

If that doesn’t work, I’ll do something else. If that fails...

There’s always farming and livestock.

That kind of work isn’t as hard now. It’s much easier.

Remember last May, I went to Uncle Nouraddin’s funeral?

– Yeah. – Uh-huh.

On the way there...

I saw a villager working in the fields. I pulled over and watched.

He wore a tight t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers.

A young guy, more stylish and fit than city folks here.

He parked his car and turned on music.

He was enjoying himself alone. It was strange. I liked it.

And it wasn’t fantasy or arabesque music. It was Neshat Ertaş’s voice.

What was it?

Ah, never mind.

I’m not saying it has to be like that.

We don’t have to farm or garden. I was just giving an example.

We can think about other things you might enjoy...

and get involved with.

For example, we could send Ayşe to school there.

A small public school with local kids.

She’d walk there and back. No school bus hassle.

She’d see life from a different angle. Learn from a normal perspective.

Is there a place or kind of work you’d enjoy?

– I had something in childhood, but I don’t remember. – So, nothing?

No. Nothing comes to mind.

That’s okay.

You’ll do housework, and when you’re bored, you can help me.

If we do bookbinding, you can stand in the shop. Right?

Yeah, I’ll come. I told you— in our town there was a grocery store...

I helped run it for years.

Good on you. Then we’ll open a grocery shop for you too.

No fuss, no risk. Buy and sell.

Dish soap comes in, matches go out.

What happened? You loved it here.

– I still do. – Then why do you want to leave?

Sometimes my mind gets weird... I mean, it’s always like this...

That life will be spent in one fixed place...

Where you know what tomorrow will be like and everything is repetitive?

Sometimes I wake up and realize it’s the same morning as yesterday.

Yesterday’s morning is tomorrow’s morning, and next year’s too.

Same with noon. Same with evening.

Especially before bed.

Sometimes my brain gets so scrambled I think I’m going crazy.

I tell myself I’m thinking the same thing— but that was last night.

I don’t know what day it is, but it’s a different day. Two months ago...

It was the same. Two years ago too. And in two months, same again.

Forget it, man.

Forget it. Let it go. It’s complicated. It messes with my mood.

I mean, it’s not about this place.

What could it have to do with this place?

Beautiful, quiet, civilized. This is the land of Diogenes the Cynic.

My friends are here, my loved ones, familiar faces.

But more importantly, you’re here.

Did I ever tell you something?

That it won’t be like this over there?

Won’t be like what?

– You said life passes with repetitive things. – Yeah.

– Won’t it be like that over there too? – Where?

Wherever we go.

What happened?

I really liked that.

When you said “wherever we go.”

It means you supported my thinking.

You joined me and helped your husband.

A healthy woman, a trustworthy wife, and a good companion does that.

Even if she doesn’t like it herself, she still values her husband’s thoughts.

Yes... it’ll be like that over there too.

Exactly.

“You won’t find a new country.”

“You won’t find another sea. Wherever you go, this city will follow you.”

“You’ll wander the same streets again. You’ll grow old in the same neighborhood.”

“Your hair will turn gray in the same houses.” [Poem by Constantine Cavafy]

There’s no escape from this.

There isn’t, but still, something must be done.

There has to be an attack. A move must be made.

Otherwise, without doing something, you won’t be free.

It might seem like self-deception, but...

What’s wrong with that? If it helps, a person should fool themselves.

Even lie to themselves if needed, disrupt the order.

They should tear habits apart.

Like not going to work in the morning.

I don’t know—eat lunch at midnight.

Don’t send the kids to school. Whatever it is, you have to do something.

You have to do something. You have to do something.

You say that, but even over there, there’ll be a kind of order.

Exactly. That’s right. Very true.

Yes.

There’ll be order there too. Bravo. Definitely.

Even animals live in order. Why? Because they have to.

You’re absolutely right.

Order is inescapable. It’s a must and a necessity.

But...

What I want to say—or rather what I can’t quite explain— isn’t exactly that.

You’re right about that part, that’s separate. But what I mean...

Is that when you’re tired or feeling down,

Or like me, feeling heavy— you have to do something.

An attack, a change.

That’s exactly what I mean. To create change... to be able.

I’m talking about escaping those bad and wrong feelings.

That’s how I think. Earlier I explained it wrong. You were right.

Otherwise... well, yeah.

If change were possible without disrupting order, I’d have no problem.

What’s the need for all this effort?

But it’s not possible... it’s not.

Without doing something, without change— this misery won’t end.

Otherwise, you’re right.

There’ll be order over there too, even if it’s different.

Lunch will be eaten, dinner made. Baths taken, laundry done.

Kids will write homework. Things will get done.

You’re right. But I’m right too.

Because without doing something, without change, without movement...

This feeling won’t go away.

It settles in a person like a stone.

Do you know what kind of feeling this is?

– Where’s the bathroom? – Over there.

– Check on Ayşe. – Okay.

Someone called.

My mom called. Lately she keeps calling.

It’s her.

– Aren’t you going to call her back? – Tomorrow. I can’t deal with it now.

Ayşe’s having a blast. She made two friends and they’re playing.

– You okay? – I’m good, I’m good.

I’m a little tipsy but I’m really happy.

Don’t worry about me.

Why wouldn’t I be happy?

You’re in front of me. My daughter’s playing with friends.

We’re eating and drinking.

What more could a man want from life?

Why don’t you like your mother?

She’s weak and skinny. I don’t like people like that.

– What about your dad? – What about him?

Why don’t you like him?

I love my dad but he doesn’t love me.

– Want some? – Yeah.

Did Ayşe fall asleep?

She didn’t wake up at all.

So you put her to bed without brushing her teeth?

Let it slide for today. It’s fine.

I’m dizzy from exhaustion.

Me too, but it was good. It’s been a while since we went out.

Did I overdo it tonight?

– What? – The drinking. The talking.

I felt like I was rambling but I couldn’t stop myself.

No. You just talked.

At times like that I feel like you’re belittling me. Not belittling—judging me.

That’s partly why I asked.

– How could that be? Why would I judge you? – I don’t know.

Even when I’m drunk, I always notice it.

You’re exaggerating again.

Sometimes I just get bored.

Not bored exactly—I just don’t understand you. But it’s not what you think.

– Okay, I’m going to sleep. – Okay, I’m coming too.

– Don’t catch a cold. – Okay.

– I think you smoke on purpose before bed. – Why would I do that?

– So I won’t hug you. You know I hate the smell. – You’ll hug me anyway.

I can’t help it... I wish I could.

Turn toward me. I want to ask you something.

Do you ever look at other men?

Where’d you get that from?

Nowhere. It just came to mind. Do you?

What do you think?

– I don’t know. Sometimes I feel that way. – Like when?

Like tonight.

– Some guy at the restaurant was staring at you all night. – So?

You’re the one who should answer that “so.”

Someone looked at me and you blame me?

– No, it’s not like that. – Then what is it?

If it bothered you that much, you should’ve asked him— not me.

And if needed, punched him in the mouth.

Sometimes you’re really cruel.

How so?

Just because I got a little jealous, you said all that.

What do you mean I’d go punch the guy? What would that solve?

Does this kind of foolishness mean deep love?

What’s wrong, Ayşe?

I had a bad dream.

– What did you see? – Something bad.

– Come here. – Can’t you come?

Now that she’s awake, have her brush her teeth.

Her broken wing was healing too.

One day, a big storm came

And all the trees lost their leaves.

Only the pine tree kept its leaves.

The willow, oak, and sycamore trees looked ugly.

And they were ashamed of themselves.

The broken-winged bird spent the winter under the pine tree’s shade.

When the weather warmed, its friends returned.

And seeing it healed...

Are you asleep?

No.

I want to confess something.

Sometimes I secretly follow you.

Why?

Don’t be ridiculous. Why would someone follow his own wife?

You’d have to ask the one doing it.

Did it at least help?

I don’t know. Nothing came of it. I didn’t expect anything to, either.

– Then why do you do it? – Because of you.

What you feel, what you’re thinking— I don’t know any of it.

I get worried and follow you like a dog. I don’t take my eyes off you...

But there’s nothing. I can’t find anything. I don’t see anything.

My wife was like that too.

She never revealed anything. Never said anything.

I didn’t show it, but I was so curious and worried...

What she was thinking, what she was doing...

How she felt about me. Did she love me? Did she hate me?

I wish people didn’t worry about these things. Didn’t get caught up in them.

That’s why I follow you.

To know what you’re doing. If someone else is on your mind.

If you’re meeting someone, seeing them. Doing something.

Following aside, that’s still better.

Whatever we do, I check your phone. I look at your messages.

When my pride breaks and I feel ashamed, I take it out on Ayşe.

Thinking she saw something or knows something, I stare at her mouth.

Of course the kid gets confused. She just stares at me.

Then I get angry at myself and feel ashamed.

I swear I’ll never do it again. I repent and promise myself.

Out of guilt, I treat you kindly.

I buy gifts. Take you to restaurants. Sometimes I overdo it.

You notice. Of course you do. You ask if something’s wrong.

Sometimes you get suspicious.

Yes. Of course you do.

Like a genie. You’re so perceptive.

And I pretend not to know and say nothing’s wrong.

You say, “You’ve been really nice lately. What’s going on?”

I pretend nothing’s wrong and act like I don’t get it.

As Ahmet Kaya said...

From every angle it’s a contradiction. From every angle it’s foolishness.

What contradiction and foolishness?

Compared to this, contradiction is nothing. This is disgrace, shame, and humiliation.

What am I doing?

What am I doing?

Hejran?

Hejran, what are we supposed to do in this situation?

Do what about what, Orhan?

What do you mean “what about what”?

I’m saying what are we supposed to do like this? Don’t you get it?

So what should we do? What do you want?

– Turn that off. – It’s fine like this.

Turn it off. My eyes are burning.

Hejran, I can’t stand myself or this situation anymore. We need to do something soon.

– Then say it and we’ll do it. What do you want? – What do I want?

What don’t I want. You already know everything.

I said it earlier. A life with you in a small village. I’m not asking for much.

I don’t expect you to be in love with me or crazy about me.

All I expect is to be loved. That when you look at me, your eyes light up. Or at least not badly.

That sometimes you say something kind. That you believe in me and trust me.

That’s all I want. I wish it were up to me, but it’s not.

And when it’s like this, I go crazy.

Something inside me grows and swells up.

Then whatever you say makes me angry. Everything gets on my nerves.

Like how you are now.

When you become like a prison wall and look at me like that, I lose it.

You’re always lying in wait for a fight or a conflict between us.

I’m afraid one day I won’t hold back and I’ll hit you in the mouth.

Go ahead. Hit me. Don’t hold back.

That’s what you want, right?

You want me to hit you so I become worse and more vile. So I fall into shame. But you never say...

“Orhan, don’t. Don’t make it worse.” You never say that. You don’t consider maybe she’s sick or tired.

It never crosses your mind to see the glass half full, to understand and let it go.

You don’t say “Let’s sleep now. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

You don’t say what you’re talking about or why we’re saying these things.

You jump on me immediately. One mistake is enough.

One bad word, one slip-up, and there’s a fight and a crisis.

Saying “I love you,” or even assuming it...

That I’m your husband, your elder— doesn’t even cross your mind.

You go off to a corner...

And pray for chaos to erupt.

Okay, she’s coming down now.

Hurry, sweetheart, the bus is here.

Careful, you’ll fall.

– I’m heading out. – Take care.

– If you want anything for dinner, call me. – Okay.

Sweetheart? How are you, my girl?

I’m good, Mom. Thanks. How are you?

I’m good, my girl, I’m good. We’re keeping busy.

How’s Mankeshe?

Nothing. She’s at school.

I’m waiting for her so we can go to Auntie’s.

What about you, my girl? You okay?

I’m good, thank God.

How’s Mr. Orhan?

He’s good too. Busy with work and stuff.

That’s good, my girl. Work is the best thing.

– My girl? – Yes, Mom?

Sweetheart, we really miss you. The neighbors and everyone...

Mom, someone’s ringing the doorbell. If it’s not urgent, can I call you back later?

Okay, my girl. Okay.

– I just wanted to hear your voice. We’ll talk later. – Okay.

Welcome.

– What’s wrong, Ayşe dear? – Nothing.

– Why are you crying? – I’m not crying.

Did Ayşe come?

She came a little while ago but she’s really upset. Did something happen?

The school called. One of her friends tested positive. School’s closed for 15 days.

It had just reopened. What is this?

I don’t get it either, but what can we do?

– What are you doing? – Cleaning. Why?

Nothing. Just asking.

Should we go out for dinner? Then take a walk?

– No, not in the mood. – Then let’s run.

I don’t want to run either.

– Okay. See you tonight then. – Okay.

Listen...

I promised Ayşe’s grandmother I’d take her during summer break.

Now that things are like this, I’ll take her. What do you think?

Sure. Up to you.

From there we’ll go to the highlands. I’ll handle some repairs and small fixes.

I’ll rest a bit and get myself together.

You’ll be alone and think about everything again, and we’ll decide.

Decide what?

What do you mean? Are we going to keep going like this?

By “decide,” I don’t mean forcing you into anything.

And I’m not praying for something bad to happen.

I just want things sorted out according to both our wishes. No burden.

Then whatever you want, we’ll do that.

Whatever you say, we’ll follow that. I’m okay with all of it.

Just let this torture end. Let’s not wither any further.

Your clothes are here. Your socks too.

Don’t forget to change often. Especially when you play and sweat. Okay?

Okay, but aren’t you overdoing it a bit?

– What? – I do everything you say. You know that.

– You’re right. But since it’s important, I’m repeating it. – Okay.

– Don’t forget. Okay? – Okay.

Let’s go.

– Let me know when you arrive. – Okay.

Take care.

Orhan?

– Safe travels. – Thanks.

Let’s go, my girl.

Easy now.

Sweetheart?

Were you asleep?

No, I was on the balcony. Heard late. What’s up?

Nothing. Just wanted to see if you’re okay.

I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.

What about you?

Still here. They insisted a lot— I couldn’t say no.

You staying the night there?

Yeah. Tomorrow I’m heading to the highlands.

Okay. How’s Ayşe?

She’s good, fell asleep a little while ago. I came out for air. And to hear your voice before bed.

You there?

I’m here.

You didn’t say anything.

What should I say?

– I said I wanted to hear your voice. That’s not a question. – What?

Never mind. Just joking.

Seems like you don’t want to talk.

– I couldn’t sleep last night. My head hurts. – Why didn’t you sleep?

I don’t know. Happens sometimes. You know.

Yeah.

– Go sleep then. – Okay.

– Nothing wrong, right? – Like what?

– I don’t know. That you’re scared being alone or...? – No. Don’t worry.

– Good night then. – Good night.

Sorry to bother you.

It’s okay.

Can I come in? I want to talk about something.

– Are you comfortable? – I’m fine. Thanks.

What are you drinking? Want me to bring something?

Water.

There’s tea. I can make coffee if you want.

– No thanks. Water’s enough. – Okay.

Here you go.

Here you go.

Hejran?

Hejran?

Hejran? My girl?

You okay?

I’m fine, I’m fine. Overslept again.

That’s good. You got some rest.

See, your fever’s gone. The vinegar water worked.

Just rest another day or two and you’ll be fine, God willing.

Look, your dad sent these pills too. They’ve saved everyone this year.

He said take them until you’re better. Get up and take this.

Come on.

What is it?

Nothing. What time is it?

– Around two. Why? – Just asking.

The weather’s nice. Let’s go outside so your face gets some sun.

You’ve been lying here for two days. I’ll make some dough too.

– Okay. – Alright.

I’ll get it ready and come. Just wait. You’ll get dizzy if you stand up.

– Okay, my girl? – Okay.

Then I’ll go get things ready.

I’m going to the teahouse.

– I made tea. – I’ll drink it there.

– Need anything? – No.

Let us have some fun too.

Can you lean forward? I’ll set it in front of you.

This is fine. You rest too. You’re really tired.

I swear I’m exhausted.

The tea’s really good. Thank you.

Enjoy. I let it steep for half an hour. It had to turn out well.

Have some of these too, sweeten your mood.

– Is this starting again? – I haven’t seen this one.

It didn’t get much attention, they pulled it. Now they’re airing it again. Let me watch.

Ah, this one’s good.

What happened?

Nothing. I just got a little emotional.

Why?

Just because.

I remembered what you went through.

Can I ask you something, Mom?

Have you heard anything about that guy?

Which one?

Reza—the one I was engaged to.

Why’d you think of him now?

I saw him in a dream today.

– Who? That guy? – Yeah. When you woke me up, I was dreaming about him.

Hope it’s a good sign.

Before the breakup, he came to Mr. Orhan’s house.

He asked for water. By the time I came back, he was asleep.

It was something messy like that.

You’re not saying anything?

What should I say, my girl?

I asked if you’ve heard anything about him.

Oh, right.

When I was hospitalized, his uncle and aunt came to visit.

They said he got out of prison and is working now.

His grandfather passed away, right?

How do you know?

I checked his Facebook page once. Saw it there.

My eyes are heavy. I’m going to sleep now.

Okay. I’ll watch this until your dad gets back.

– Hejran? – Yeah?

...Just now

I didn’t tell you because I thought you’d get angry

or take it the wrong way, but...

Now that you’ve said all this, I should tell you.

Today... while you were asleep, he came.

– Who? – That guy. Reza.

He opened a shop near Kastamonu. He’s moving there soon.

He said he wants to talk to you face to face before he leaves.

But he didn’t say why.

He said don’t worry, he won’t bother anyone. Half an hour would be enough.

He said if you don’t want to, that’s fine too.

I didn’t say yes or no.

I said I can’t promise, but maybe I’ll ask her.

I wasn’t comfortable telling you, so I didn’t.

Just...

That boy kept asking how you were.

He kept writing letters from prison.

I didn’t say anything because I was afraid you’d get angry...

Or that Mr. Orhan would hear and it would disturb your peace.

– Does Dad know about this? – No.

Your dad doesn’t ask anything about you.

Honestly, I wasn’t going to tell you this.

But since you brought it up, I didn’t want to carry the burden alone.

What did you do with the letters?

– Welcome. – Thanks, son. How are you?

– I’m good, thanks. How are you? – We’re good, thank God. Could be worse.

Welcome.

– Thanks. Sorry for your loss. – Thank you.

I’ve got a few things to do in the market. While you talk, I’ll go take care of them.

Then we need to catch the minibus. Let’s not be late.

Okay. Don’t worry.

Alright, you sit down. When you’re done, call and come. Don’t be too late.

Okay.

Say hi to your uncle and aunt for me, son.

– Sure. You say hi to Uncle Mehmet too. – Will do.

Here you go.

– What are you having? – Tea and water.

– Are you hungry? Want anything? – No thanks.

– I’ll go order and come back. – Okay.

– My condolences. You lost your grandfather. – Thanks.

You lost your parents when you were a kid too, right?

Yes, both of them within a short time.

– Do you remember? – Not much. I was really little.

They took me for vaccination in a brown jacket with shepherd-style buttons.

That’s the only thing I remember clearly. But sometimes I get confused.

Confused about what?

Whether it was real or something I dreamed.

Do you have their photos?

They say when you look for something, you can’t find it.

– What’s a shepherd-style button? – What?

You said they took you in a jacket with shepherd-style buttons.

They’re things like...

– Like what? – Like...

Cut from a large tree trunk in a circular shape.

Not perfectly round, but wide in the middle and narrow on the edges.

I didn’t really get it.

Thread or rope goes through it, or it gets tied.

Forget it, don’t stress yourself. I just asked to keep talking.

– What’s that guy doing? – I’ve been watching him too. He’s been like that all morning.

Either he’s got a problem or he’s sick.

Oh, I forgot to say...

Thanks for coming.

I’m leaving in a few days. If you hadn’t come, maybe I’d never see you again.

I see. Why are you leaving?

No particular reason. I just don’t want to stay here anymore.

Why don’t you want to stay?

Especially in the mornings when I wake up, not seeing Grandpa really weighs on me.

Before military service, I saw him every single day.

I can’t open the shop without him, or sleep without his voice.

I don’t know. I just can’t get used to him being gone.

Hopefully it’s for the best.

One evening I was heading out with friends...

My grandfather stopped me at the door and handed me a photo.

“Look at this. She’s the daughter of your late father’s army buddy.”

He said, “If you like her, let me know.”

I said, “Grandpa, are you joking? People don’t choose a wife from a photo.”

He said, “Then how do they choose?”

I said, “I don’t know. People talk, get to know each other— we have something called civilization.”

He said, “If seeing and talking led to understanding,

no one would be betrayed, no one would get divorced.”

No one’s rights would be lost.”

He said, “Think it over. If you’re not interested, we won’t force you.”

I took the photo. But I was too shy to look at it in front of him.

That night, coming back from the teahouse, I looked at it under a streetlight.

I saw your face for the first time there, under the streetlight.

That was the first time I heard my inner voice. A pain rose from my stomach.

I didn’t sleep at all that night.

I kept thinking about you.

Two or three days later he came and said, “What do you think? Should we go propose?”

I said, “Sure. She’s beautiful. She has a different vibe.”

Who wouldn’t want to marry her? But I couldn’t say...

Her eyes look into the distance. They don’t see what’s close...

Especially someone like me—she doesn’t see me. Even if she does, she doesn’t want to.

How could I say that?

God shows a different side to some of His servants.

That’s what Grandpa used to say. He showed it to us too.

I wish everything in life went the way we wanted. But it didn’t. And probably won’t.

Still, people get sad. Even knowing it won’t happen, they still hope.

I caused all your pain and suffering.

Your life turned dark because of me. Your youth was ruined because of me.

You ran away from home because of me.

But there’s nothing we can do now. What’s done is done.

I just wanted to say these things so you’d know how I feel.

I wanted you to forgive me.

This is yours.

– What is it, my girl? – Nothing.

You go. I’ll take a short walk and come.

– Okay, just don’t be late. – Okay.

– Happy Eid. – Happy Eid to you too.

Thanks. See you.

– What are you doing? – Making breakfast. You?

Nothing. Same as always.

I’d forgotten about the phone case I bought. Went to check on that.

– Have you seen the remote? – It was on the phone table.

Does this remote have a problem with me?

What happened?

It wasn’t there a moment ago. When I asked you, it appeared.

Could be. It’s there but I don’t know why it wasn’t visible.

– We haven’t said happy Eid yet. – I’ve got a bit to do. I’ll come when I’m done.

That’s what a nephew is. First thing on Eid morning, he calls his uncle.

Happy Eid, dear uncle.

– Same to you, uncle. Happy Eid to everyone. – Are you on the road?

No, not yet. Just got back from prayer.

Put a new case on my phone. Thought first thing should be calling you.

Good thinking. Your aunt and the kids are all waiting. Will you make it for lunch?

If we get there by afternoon, great. But I think it’ll be evening. We have to visit the father-in-law.

Ah, what can you do? We’ll wait our turn.

But don’t go to the grave yet. We’ll go together. If needed, we’ll go tomorrow.

Okay, okay. Don’t worry.

Are the stones done well? Did they do a good job?

They did a great job. You’ll like it. May light shine on his grave.

But again, if you don’t like it, we’ll fix it. Don’t hesitate.

No, son. Don’t worry. It’s just like what I saw in the photo.

– It’s the most beautiful grave here, honestly. – That’s good then.

– Alright then. Call when you’re close. – Okay. We’ll call.

– Take care, okay? – Don’t worry. Bye for now.

Where were you?

I thought I’d get ready so we’re not delayed after breakfast.

What happened?

Happy Eid.

You too.

Wait. What are you doing?

You can’t do that. I’m not your dad.

You’re right, but I don’t know. My mom always kisses my dad’s hand, so it stuck.

No, it’s not like that. We’re almost the same age.

Though I don’t get it either...

Let it be like this this time. Next time we’ll do it differently.

Happy Eid to you.

You too.

– Come eat breakfast. We’ll be late. – You sit. I’ll wash my hands.

Hejran?

I love you very much.

So much I can’t even say.

Me too.

I love you very much too.

What are you thinking about?

Do you think this time my dad will accept and forgive?

I’ve been thinking about it for days. I hope he won’t drag it out.

I don’t think he will this time, but...

Aside from my sadness and his suffering, what about Mom and Mankeshe?

How can someone hold such a grudge against their own child and family?

I think you shouldn’t worry anymore. He’ll forgive. You’ll see. He’s your father.

If he doesn’t forgive this time, he’ll have to the next.

When this one is born, we’ll name them...

And hand the baby to him and say, “Come on, Mr. Mehmet, won’t you forgive us this time?”

What would he do then? Say “No, I won’t”? That’d be hard to say.

I think you shouldn’t dwell on these things.

What happens when you think about it? Does it help?

Does it change his behavior? Nothing happens.

You’re left with your sadness.

Besides, I won’t let these things affect you anymore. You’re two people now.

If we’re affected by pain once, you’re affected twice.

That’s not okay. You need to take better care of yourself now.

What is it?

Nothing.

Why did you look at me like that?

I looked at you. Can’t I?

You can.

– I had a dream last night. – Hope it’s a good one?