Original subtitles

[AUDIO OUT]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, [BLEEP] I just cut myself.

I'm not tapping out.

It is time to make this shelter uber-insulated.

Arctic winter is no joke.

I did it.

At least my only companion.

Holy [BLEEP] I got a fire.

In Olón's coldest location ever, 10 participants fight to survive the Arctic.

The Arctic is one of the most physically demanding places on Earth.

It's freaking cold right now.

Battling sub-zero temperatures.

This climate's harsh.

It's extreme.

It's mean.

It's got teeth.

If you come out here, I'll wind out your trouble.

Vicious predators.

Heard something big moving back there.

Me against the wolverine right now.

And isolation.

There's nothing to fill that void.

It's just you left alone with your thoughts.

How long will they endure?

Hose is on fire.

I'm scared, but I don't want to tap.

This is the most unforgiving landscape I've ever seen.

The last one standing wins.

This environment will strip away everything and anything you thought you had.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Last night, my shelter lit on fire.

I caught some moss in a wall, and I saw it happen,

and I tried to put it out before it got too bad, and I couldn't.

That was my nice, closed-in fireplace.

There'd been no light before.

I knew it was a risk having the moss higher up without having it covered in clay,

but it froze up before I could get it all done.

Man, I went quick last night.

That whole wall was engulfed.

I had to just start ripping every part of it down.

My effort is not going to be doing this right now.

I don't really have time to [BLEEP] around and feel sorry for myself.

My plan is I'm just going to build this back pretty much

the way I had it, but we're just not going to use moss.

This reminds me of my grandpa.

He was a tough, tough son of a bitch, and he always told me, he said, Michelle,

somebody's standing in front of you, and they're causing you problems.

He said, you just keep swinging.

When there's nobody left in front of you, he said, then you can rest.

That's kind of been my motto for life.

You know, you just keep swinging every day.

Oh, that's tough work, guys.

I cut down a couple of bigger trees

with the hope I can fill in the gaps that are going to be left.

Hopefully, I can get clay and fill in all

those spots, and I can avoid any future fires.

I knew that this would be hard.

I knew that it would be a test of my limits, and I still came.

You've got to find that strength deep down inside you.

Could have called it last night, but I curled

up in my sleeping bag and hung on, you know?

Having to rebuild sent me back, delaying

everything and putting a real hitch in my plans.

There's still more work there to be done.

I've just got to chip away at things.

I'm having difficulties, having setbacks, having challenges,

but that's just kind of how my life works anyway, you know?

That's nothing new for me.

Nothing ever seems easy for me.

It always seems like I'm struggling just to get

ahead and get one foot in front of the other one.

Just keep swinging.

Last night was crazy.

Woke up, I believe I heard a moose running around out there.

I thought long and hard about trying to get up and go out

and take a shot, but it's so noisy trying to get out

of your sleeping bag and get your clothes on and all that.

Once it sees you, then that would be like, oh, man, I blew up the spot.

So today, I'm going to see where it went, kind of follow its tracks.

I need to get a moose because I feel like this

location provides me really only with rabbits.

Rabbits have so much protein on them and so little fat

that you can eat them but not get enough energy.

Fat is what you need.

That's the stuff of life out here.

Moose has got a ton of delicious fat on it.

Oh, yes.

Look at these fresh tracks.

Wopping up the mud.

I believe these are the ones I heard last night.

[MUSIC PLAYING] This is great.

From the looks of the tracks, they

follow this weed edge down to this little mud bog thing here.

See over there, that's where I heard it.

Shelter's right over there.

Happy to see the moose so close.

Not every day you get the chance like this.

Be able to shoot a moose, especially one when you really need it.

It's like really exciting.

I'm going to go make a early warning system for moose.

So when I'm sitting over there half dazed off, I might hear him coming first.

So I took some of these cans that I've found and put some trip strings around.

I wanted to put it here because I actually

don't want it to bang across a lot of rocks.

I don't want it to actually scare the moose or startle it.

Just want it to flip over that one, clink.

And that'll be enough to alert me to get my bow ready.

Wish me luck.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Check my mousetraps.

No mouse.

Let's check the other one.

Come on, be a mouse, be a mouse.

Please, please, please.

Oh, it's set off.

Come on.

Yes.

Hello, beautiful.

Oh my gosh, I got a mouse.

He's just frozen and squashed like crazy.

But I'm just so grateful for this little guy.

I feel strong.

I feel excited to be here still.

Overall, I feel good.

Brunch.

I feel pretty nourished.

I mean, I'm not hungry.

I've never gone to bed hungry.

I never wake up hungry.

I'll show you how to prepare a blueberry mouse muffin.

You take your mouse head and you jam all of these blueberries

in there so that every bite literally is a blueberry.

And you don't have to taste the mouse head like that.

Stay on.

[SLURPING]

And then after it goes down, we proceed with another

good dose of blueberries just for the aftertaste.

The mice are definitely all over this area.

But they're just small, and so I'd rather be working on bigger animals right now.

I feel like I'm actively going to seek out the squirrel that lives near me.

My body needs more calories and energy

to be able to walk farther to seek other animals.

I hear him.

I actually hear him.

He's right here.

Whoa, buddy, whoa, buddy, whoa, buddy, whoa.

Oh, no.

Where are you, little guy?

I see him.

Hey, buddy.

There's so many branches in the way.

Oh, I got him.

I think I got him.

Oh, sorry, buddy.

Oh, oh, buddy.

Oh, oh, no.

Oh.

I want to bring it back to my camp, that's for sure.

I'm really grateful right now.

I really needed this.

Oh, [BLEEP]

You've got to be kidding me.

I [BLEEP] stabbed myself with my arrow.

I can feel blood dripping down my leg.

You cannot make a mistake out here.

Oh, [BLEEP]

I can't believe I just cut myself.

My arrow jammed into my leg, ripped my pants,

and I can feel blood dripping down my leg.

I got to take a look.

Gosh, OK, here we go.

Oh, [BLEEP]

Jeez, it's freaking deep.

Ah, that's [BLEEP] bad.

I got to tend to this.

Yeah, I'll deal with a tripod first before I tend to a flesh wound.

It looks like it needs serious care.

OK, I'm just going to hold that on there.

Let me tie this thing.

I don't want blood all over this, though,

but just so I can get a fire going

and be able to be warm and do this.

Oh, come on, striker.

Oh, man, my hand.

Oh, thank you.

Bless you.

OK.

[BLEEP]

It's like a hole in my leg.

Literally, I don't know how deep it is.

Ow.

I think it looks pretty clean.

It looks like blood, not dirt.

I can see the butterfly bandages quite freaking clearly.

I'm just making tons of mistakes.

Out here, you can't do that kind of stuff to yourself.

You've got to pace yourself, and at the same time,

you've got to just be on it with everything.

No mistakes, because the next one will send me home.

OK, kind of sad to report, but this is what I'm feeling right now, a little limpy.

Hi, animals, wait for me.

I'm coming.

Like, what the hell, dude?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I shot right over him.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

I haven't seen anything to hunt other than squirrel.

And I've only taken one squirrel the entire time I've been here.

So I choose to focus on the more positive things rather than the negative things.

I can have a day without that frustration

and hopefully have a day where I feel successful by completing my shelter.

We need to get a lot more insulation to at least bite us till the snow has come.

My thought was on insulating the shelter is I was going to start harvesting some

of this mossy, duffy stuff and start placing it over the top

of these spruce boughs on the shelter now that

it's pretty much completely covered in spruce.

That should close up some of the gaps and give us some insulated properties.

Let's see how this works.

The best part about being out here is the freedom.

This journey represents a higher level of freedom,

a simpler life, a much more stress-free life.

In a lot of ways, it's way easier than life in the modern world.

All right, all right, all right!

Yeah!

Whew!

While there will always be a need for maintenance and upkeep,

with the exception of the door, my shelter is essentially done.

Oh!

Yeah.

Heck, what am I going to do now?

Eh?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Interesting thing about this island,

the wind is blowing in a direction that's suitable to call moose.

And you can see when they cross that whole muddy peninsula.

So if they're coming, you'll know ahead of time.

I made a birchbark moose call.

The moose call just imitates a female that's ready to mate.

If you're a stupid, avid moose hunter, then don't be too critical.

I'm no pro, but...

[MOOING]

All right, give that a few minutes now.

And head back.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Crows are going crazy, which sometimes they do when there's a bear walking around.

Oh, crap.

My early warning system.

I don't see anything over there, but I'm going to be on my toes.

Oh, my god.

I've got a shot now.

I just got to take it.

Come on, big dude.

I've got a shot now.

I just got to take it.

[MUSIC PLAYING] Damn.

Estimated his distance, shot, and dropped it right between his legs.

Oh, man.

Such a downer.

I'm going to think about that one for a long time.

Everything worked as planned.

The early warning system was loud.

If I would have had two shots, I would have gotten the moose for sure.

But you don't get two shots.

Not to mention, when I hurry, I only grabbed one arrow.

So even if I would have had time to reload,

which I may have, I did not have another arrow.

Now I don't get to see that moose again until the show airs.

That's pretty annoying.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I was thinking last night as I was working on the cabin into the dark

that after this experience, depending on how long

I stay, hopefully it'll be, let's say, 94 days.

But I thought it would be very amusing to get made up.

I survived 94 days alone in the Arctic.

And all I got was this stupid t-shirt.

I think I'd rather have it say, I surthrived.

But I'm not sure.

I'm not sure that what I'm doing is surthriving.

Truth be told, I think I'm more surviving.

I think surthriving would involve food.

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, food as first priority, especially while

I still have a little bit of energy left.

Feels like a good time to do the further ranging missions.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

It's definitely the Arctic.

Not fooling around here.

I mean, it's why I put so much energy towards my shelter right away rather than food.

But now I am hungry as hell.

There's crowberries here.

I'd love to stop and pick them and have a little breakfast.

Crowberries are definitely changing.

The foliage is getting more orangy.

And I feel like the berries are going to be drying up.

So I'm trying to fill my gullet now.

Check it out.

Not a bad handful of crowberries.

All right.

That feels like about all I can manage.

Maybe it's because my body actually really wants animal food.

I'm really hoping for red meat and large game.

I think that's the only real long-term sustainable strategy for being out here.

Oh, my god.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[INAUDIBLE]

It's a very good sign.

Check out this path through the reeds out to the lake.

And then right here, a pile of fresh-chewed otter branches.

If I could get a moose, it would turn everything around.

This is prime moose habitat.

But I'm going to keep looking along the shore and see what I can see.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING] She flew off.

And I don't know where it ended up.

I was getting close to my home base and heard this flutter of wings.

And up in this little tree flew a grouse.

And I ran closer, and I took the shot with a broadhead, and I totally hit her.

You can see, went right through her, covered in feathers, covered in blood.

She flew off and now is dying in the woods somewhere.

And I need to find her.

But hard to find a very camouflaged, wounded bird

in a landscape she is designed to blend in with.

Hope upon hope that I can find her and retrieve her,

because that would be such a shame and such a waste.

And the hunger is definitely starting

to get to me, because I am feeling a little desperate around the food situation.

Please let me find you.

There is so much habitat to cover.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Drivers just-- [MUSIC PLAYING]

[WIND BLOWING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Just shot my first spruce grouse.

The arrow went right through that entire bird.

Oh, it's so hard to be so close to having gotten a grouse.

Please, please, please let me find you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

There is so much habitat to cover.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

She was white and dark gray.

I'm going to go around the edges now, and then I'll go through the middle again.

I'm pretty physically tough, and I don't give up easily.

But I'm working really hard.

I'm very active every single day.

I'm doing a lot that burns calories, and the cumulative effect of that

is burning through all of my body's stored calories.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I just don't know how far a grouse can go wounded.

I know a bear can run 30 yards after it's been shot in the heart.

[GASPS] There she is.

Oh, my god, thank god.

Oh, my god.

I found her.

Oh, I want to save every piece of her.

She is so gorgeous.

So grateful.

I've been coming to this whole experience

from such a good place, from a place of just really

wanting to live in deep connection with the land.

So I've been so conscious and so prayerful

and so communicative, but I've been starving.

So it is so gratifying now to feel the reward.

Yep.

I've got grouse feathers smeared in my tears.

Oh, god.

Wow, what a freaking morning.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Fishing, fishing, fishing.

Let's do some catching today, not just fishing.

[BLEEP]

Ah!

Getting wet was not part of my fishing plan.

Well, I'm here now, so I'm fishing.

Fishing is beginning to be a point of frustration.

It definitely suddenly dropped off.

It's partially because of the spawn.

Oftentimes, when fish are spawning, they're not really interested in much else.

I've not seen a single fish swim by, around in the area.

No little fish, no nothing.

So I've got berries to forage, squirrels to hunt.

In the last 16 days, I've had one fish, one squirrel, and a lot of berries.

Another great big old berry hiding down there.

I think my body is getting to the point where berries alone may not be enough.

I'm kind of winded, climbing up this simple hill.

I'm enjoying the experience.

But at what point is it not worth it?

Is the risk to my own body and future health

so great that I need to call it and go home?

What is that point?

I hope that's long enough.

I'd say what's keeping me here at this point is my fear from going home.

My fear to be back in that mundane world of nine to five, punching clocks,

and being stressed out over other people's problems.

Not so hard before you've tasted freedom.

But definitely hard to go back into the cage

after you've flown free for a long time.

Holy cow.

Look who's over there.

[music]

Oh, it's windy and cold.

So I'm just going to hang out in here with my amazing grousiness.

Yes, look at that.

That, my friends, is a good-sized piece of meat.

Wow.

And here are heart.

This is all chunks of breast meat.

This is liver.

And then there is the leg.

Hooray!

May this motivate me to hunt better so I can eat like this every day.

Mmm.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, that is so satisfying.

This was the tipping point.

And now I'll be bringing in the game.

And maybe now the grouse are showing up.

Now that I am fully fortified with delicious meat in my belly,

I want to be out exploring that new area with my bow.

And time is a-wasting.

[music]

[music] Good morning.

Mmm.

Welcome to Day 19.

Morning.

Mmm.

It is a cold morning.

And I think I'm going on a roam.

I'll go and see what lies past the lake.

With fishing not producing anything

and only so much time left that I can forage berries, it's becoming fairly evident

that I am going to have to turn to active hunting.

Packing a good load today.

Heading up the hill again.

And really need to try to get a better understanding of my area.

Nothing I'm doing is working.

I need to find some way to procure something to eat.

Packing this weight around is killing me.

I'm exhausted.

I need to take a break from this.

I geared up for a long run to go check out the furthest

reaches of my area and I don't have the energy for it.

I'm basically in a battle of attrition and a starvation game.

And I don't know if it's worth putting myself at risk.

Are you sure, Ray?

No.

This is Ray.

I'm officially tapping out.

I've done all I can here.

I've enjoyed this experience.

And I want to remember it as something to be enjoyed.

Making that call was very difficult.

You feel pressured to go out having given every last ounce.

But it was logistical.

I couldn't find enough to eat.

And the prospect of finding anything more than what I'm getting seems very unlikely.

So I put my body at significant risk.

I'm feeling sad about leaving.

Like I've let my wife down, myself down.

I expected to be out here quite a bit longer.

And I'm feeling anxiety about going back.

This journey showed me true freedom.

That gave me a better understanding of the modern world.

It's just like anything else. It's what you make of it.

When you're pretty hungry, time goes really slowly.

So you'd really be happy to catch a fish, but it takes you all day.

And you don't get anything.

It's just more fun to snare and hunt than to stand

by the shore like a moron for hours and hours.

But I've got to figure it out because there's

only so many bunnies to snare around here.

Oh man, all these snares are empty.

I might have to move them.

The word must have got out that an assassin is on the loose in the area.

Even the moose are sort of on to me.

I'm mad at myself for missing the first one.

That was the big screw-up on my part.

But nature is a brutal place at times.

That's why we're just part of it.

My dad went through so much suffering.

He had diabetes, amputated his leg.

A couple of years later, they amputated his other leg.

And then he lost all the feeling in his hands.

But somehow he's always very good at maintaining a positive

and super encouraging attitude through the whole thing.

He had that joy in him up until his last breath.

So it was a lesson that you couldn't buy with any amount of money.

Hopefully, when the tragedy comes, our imprint on

the world will be enough to say that it was worth it.

Yeah, I should get to do something more productive.

I could build, you know, like a reindeer fence, kind of

funneling any potential moose to stay near the water.

I'm so desperate for places to hunt things.

It's worth a shot.

This is one of the trails that I don't want them going down.

Otherwise, I'll be too far, probably, to shoot it.

See, when you're chopping these trees down, you don't

want to chop them from both sides so they fall off.

You just want to maybe hit it on this side to weaken the fibers a bit.

And then just give it one chop.

Fall it over, and it'll hold like that.

Maybe even set this one.

See, you got a little low spot here, so I'll just

stick a stake like that, and a stake like that.

Pick it up, set it like that.

There you go, you're coming down this trail as a moose.

It's like, oh, man, trees in the way.

No big, lazy moose wants to jump around.

There you go.

That's a start.

I don't want to burn too much energy, but I'll come do more.

Hopefully I get another chance.

I have that giant weight on my shoulder all the time that I'm going to starve.

I couldn't sleep very well because I was thinking all night about what I should do.

The only thing I can really do is take my snares that are

being less productive and move them into better spots.

I think a lot of the snares I have that are out

are probably no longer going to catch anything.

That's cool.

Holy cow.

There's a moose over there.

The wind is really picking up.

I'm just so exposed right now.

I need to get the hell off of this rock.

I'm already pumping it so fast right now.

Let's hit that moose.

Some good bubbly blood.