Original subtitles

Happy new year, Comrades!

- With new happinesss! - With new successes!

Do you believe in miracles?

One minute left

It is proven by science:

That it's possible to eat, drink and watch simultaneously.

30 seconds left

Dear, where will we spend the New Year's Eve?

We'll spend it at home, in front of the TV.

Those adverts, those actions films, that agent 007...

No dear, today's New Year revue is from Moscow!

We are ready to show! Are you ready to watch?

10 seconds left

Gerdt, Papanov, Vicin, Mishulin, Baykov and many others.

In

Our New Year show

In

The 13th Hour of the Night

Why are you reaching out?

They won't pour you anything.

They're drinking Sitro!

Well, should we say goodbye now?

I have no patience anymore.

People have welcomed the new year a long time ago...

And we haven't yet said goodbye to the old one.

That's the rule!

You're going to destroy the table!

Our esteemed guest will come...

...And there will be no beauty.

He will come! He won't come!

He will! He won't! He will!

- I wish someone would dance or sing! - May I?

You will shake the aspic!

Should I go and dance?

Dance, Leshenka! (wood goblin)

Dance!

Why don't you sing or clap your hands? Why am I dancing in dryness?

Just look at me!

Just look at me! Just look at me!

That doesn't smell like the Russian spirit!

Coming! Coming! Coming!

Behave yourselves!

Everything should be polite and delicate!

Cultured!

Don't argue with each other!

Don't nudge!

Don't grab pieces from the table!

And you, Vodyanoy! (water spirit)

Make conversation with our esteemed guest since you are the only educated one.

- Oh, stop it! - It's reflexive!

And if anything isn't understandable, Rusalka (mermaid) will translate!

She's been at every seaport.

She speaks those languages well!

If there is anyone who will misbehave...

...he'll have some sense beaten into him with the pestle!

- And If... - And if there's anything, you look at me and I'll give you a sign.

And if by any chance you say something wrong...

...or by accident, then you ask for forgiveness...

"Excuse me"

"Please" Will you remember?

I'll go crazy!

And you shut up!

Your stupid interjections!

Attention!

Straight!

Eyes front!

Uryu! Uryu!

He says he will once again celebrate the New Year in our company.

He's been longing to meet the Madame Yaga...

...and with all other dwellers of the Russian forest.

Thank you for your attention!

Very nice!

- I'm Vodyanoy! - Translate!

Vodyanoy!

- I'm Leshiy! Leshiya! (forest goblin)

- Translate! - Monsieur Leshiy!

Allow me to introduce myself!

Introduce myself, allow me!

*mumbling* intro-ow all-duce

Excuse me!

I'm usually found in barns.

I'm Ovinny! (barn spirit)

I'm not used to being in a house.

Pardon!

He says, pardon!

Hello baby!

I am Anchutka the heelless! (gremlin)

Here, look!

There are no heels at all!

I'm Domovoy! (house spirit)

I've been longing to see you for so long! It's an honour!

Understood!

Fine words butter no parsnips! Welcome to the table!

And who would he be?

Elf?

Troll? Hobbit?

Tom Thumb?

Why is he pointing a finger?

Why is he pointing a finger!?

What's wrong, Leshiy? Are you deaf?

It was said he's a foreign gnome!

Understood?

They are foreign...

Imported!

Well, somebody? Maybe you, Anchutka the Heelless?

Would you greet the guest?

Stand up straight!

And speak loudly so everyone will hear!

So and so.

What should I say?

Vodunoy, replace the junior!

I understood you, understood.

To your health!

For our esteemed guest!

To your health!

Ur-Uryu!

He says we're having a nice time!

Don't be shy, young man. Eat this!

Eat up, little one!

Maybe you want some frog-caviar?

It's very fresh.

The frogs are our own. They produced it just yesterday

Let me ask you this...

Excuse me!

I was saying, let me ask you...

What do people in your forests and jungles...

...think about the unexplained phenomena of nature?

Let's say you, personally.

Do you believe in the existence of UFO's?

Uryu!

He doesn't believe!

Stop it! It's embarrassing!

Can't even joke...

Idiot!

Catch it! Catch it!

Stop it, I'm begging you!

- Perhaps someone would dance or sing? - May I?

Would someone sing?

A white new year's night. Miracles roam in the forest.

A joyful world out of this world. Where the strange Leshiy lives.

That's true, that's correct. That there's a frog princess.

Miracles are not so rare. On any UFO, I will come to you.

In the white snow, I'll shout: I love you!

Demand everywhere, Ogonek soap. It foams, lathers and rinses well with water. More advice on the phone.

Uryu!

He asks whether you're an advertisement agent?

I'm an amateur and a collector!

- Uryu? - Uryu!

- He says he also has a hobby. - Well, well, well...

Uryu! Let me have a look!

Let me! Allow me my curiosity!

Let me have a look! Let me see!

Give me!

Let me have a look!

Gramophone!

Gramophone!

Nest!

Nest!

Nest!

Uryu! Uryu!

He says it's too hard for him to sit on a bony leg!

Then we will put hay under him, like so...

Soft?

Nest!

Nest!

Nest!

Now that's what I'm talking about!

What?

- Uryu! - No way!

Uryu!

He says he's delighted!

Can you leave that box alone, at least on New Year's Eve!?

Don't even ask!

These Domovoy watch every single TV programme in a row!

Leshiy, can't you entertain the guest?

How should I entertain him? There is only a little tar left at the bottom!

Maybe I should run to the meadow?

To the meadow, run!

Why talk in vain? The hollow is closed!

Look, it's almost the 13th hour!

For five pinecones, you can always get half a jar.

Should we throw in one each and I will run and get it!

We'll contribute a cone each! A cone each we'll contribute! Contribute cone each a...

Use this taxi service. Fast and comfortable. More information on the phone.

Youngsters! Youngsters!

Change the music and dance!

Little guest, come on with you, come on, let's dance!

You are so small, little rabbit!

Turn the damn thing off!

Put on some music! Something foreign!

Look, what is he doing to himself!?

They only write it in the literature-newspaper...

"Take care of man, take care of man."

I haven't read it!

- That I know! - And I'm not going to!

By the way...

...how do you feel about this problem, personally?

Uryu! Uryu!

He finds it's more important to take care of women.

And men will take care of themselves!

Let's drink to the weaker sex!

Lyshenka, stop misbehaving. It's draughty!

Can't even joke... So what!

Uryu!

He says to foretell of he who will now perform on the main channel!

- That's a man! - That's a woman!

- No it's a man! - No, that's Edita Piekha in a mini-skirt!

- No, that's Eduard Khil in a long suit! - No, that's a woman!

What are you telling me, don't you think I know what a man looks like...

That's a choir!

- No! - Shut up!

Piekha! Khil! Piekha! Khil!

Chistyakov!

It's good that the train is moving. It's good that I'm looking out the window.

It's good that the song is continuing because it was created long ago.

If everything is possible for the friendship the viewer will say it's good.

If the fame doesn't end then that's also good.

If Bronevitsky is smiling then everything with the song is good.

Good, good, good. Our year has been good.

Good!

The sacks are prepared.

The beards are dense and unshaved.

All the seas and continents are acknowledged and not forgotten by us.

All the seas and continents are acknowledged and not forgotten by us.

We brought wigs with us.

And red noses.

There's a little bit of Santa Claus in all of us.

The blue lights are waiting for us.

There's a little bit of Santa Claus in all of us.

Brothers, put up your collars!

They call that a song!?

That's something false!

Piekha!?

Very alike(!) No, not authentic...

I remember when I was younger!

The way they sang then!

Break out in tears!

Where is the guest!?

Where?

He's not there!

Here!

No, just a spiderweb...

Look here, parrot... Have you seen the guest?

What parrot? I'm a penguin! Close the door! Go!

There he is! There he is! There he is!

Uryu! Uryu! Uryu! Uryu!

Uryu! Uryu! Uryu! Uryu!

No, let me! Hold on! Hold on!

- Wait! - No, let me! I'll do it myself!

- Somebody blow! - May I? - May we?

Hold on! Everyone together!

- Foo! - Thank you!

- May I? - Might I be third?

You need to get him with a net!

Will catch! Won't catch!

Will catch! Won't catch!

Get ready!

Let's play a game for two!

Quickly, whilst the old woman is away.

We'll play, play, play!

Oh, my rib!

I will be Tigran Petrosian!

- And you, Boris Spassky - No!

- I'll be Spassky and you Petrosian! - No!

- I'll be Petrossiansky and you be Spassian - No!

No, I'll be Petrospassky!

- And you, Nobody! - Then it's fine!

D2!

E4!

D21!

Hey you, Leshiy!

Don't forget to bring the translator with you!

You never know what might happen!

Here! D19!

D19!

Then checkmate!

- Checkmate for you too! - Then I yield!

- Me too! - Then nobody wins!

That means that friendship won!

Nest!

Nest!

Let's go, they're waiting!

Petia, what's in your frame?

Zoom in on the pianist! Make it bigger! Cut the singer!

Good, good.

What's going on, Petia?

Petia, the camera!?

Mama!

Listen, young man! Where's the lift here?

Petia, the camera? Petia?

Tamara? Tamara!?

What's happening in the studio? What's happening in the studio!?

- You're at the head and I'm at the feet! - No!

- I'm at the head and you're at the tail! - No!

- I have a nest! - Alright then.

Be careful!

Good!

It's going easily!

Are you out of your mind? What are you doing here?

- Who are you? - I am Demovoy!

- Jesus Christ, a really appropriate time to joke! - I'm Ovinny!

Ovinny, I am!

It's a never-ending story...

- You're presentable adults! - What, why?

Tamara, Tamara! Where's the assistant director!?

Nest!

Tamara? Where are you?

I have the splash screen. Give me the second number!

Put on the phonogram!

Reshuffle!

Next performance! Ballet! Ballet!

Hey guys, careful! The chairs are imported!

Jesus, I'm looking for a maid... Mother, come clean the floor before the ballet!

Go on, clean the floor! What are you looking at?

Don't just sit there... Go on! Go on!

Foo!

- Did you get it? - Here, a nest!

There he is!

There he is!

- Uryu! Uryu! - He'll fall!

Uryu! Uryu! Uryu! Uryu!

- Come here! - Uryu! Uryu!

Listen!

What is this?

It's you!

I haven't touched anything!

How should we get him from up there?

The son has arrived!

- You first! - Thank you for trusting me!

- I can be third! - Stop it! - It's reflexive!

- You'll take it - And me?

Be quiet!

What are you doing?

You're an old woman, a group instructor and behaving like that!?

Don't you have anywhere else to rehearse?

Should I call for armed security?

Foo!

Who is tapping?

Kolia, turn the microphone away!

Foo!

- Let's play! - But what?

A game!

Young man, may I ask you?

Foo!

Put him down! That's right!

On the pony!

Fire!

Hey you! Go!

But why animals? Why animals!?

What's going on! What's going on!?

We apologise for the technical difficulties.

Restaurants, cafes, cutlet shops, pie shops...

...have started taking reservations for happy 1970 New Year celebrations.

More information on the phone.

After me!

There was a Christmas tree born in the forest.

It grew up in the forest and it's fit and green throughout the year.

The snowstorm sang it lullabies: "Sleep, little tree sleep!"

And the frost would cover it up: "Don't you freeze!"

A little rabbit would live under the tree.

And a grey wolf would sometimes pass by.

I want people!

Look!

He's crying! Understand?

What's going on?

He's crying?

Yes, he's crying!

But he's not supposed to cry!

Listen, Grandma!

What do you all want from me?

Don't you think I get it?

He's crying.

He's not supposed to cry.

So he won't cry!

Can't even make jokes...

Foo!

Tamara?

It's working, Tamarochka!

Put on the gramophone!

Microphone transmission

Zinovy Gerdt - Baba Yaga

Anatoly Papanov - Ovinny

Georgy Vicin - Vodyanoy

Victor Baykov - Domovoy

Natalia Drojina - Rusalka

Slava Carev - Anchutka

Spartak Mishulin - Leshiy

Andryusha Makarenko - Gnome Happy New Year!

Lemonade

During a white new year's night. Miracles roam in the forest.

Marvels, you are still the same. I love you!

A joyful world, not of this world. Where the strange Leshiy lives.

Or Baba Yaga, the bone-leg. I love you! I love you!

That's true, that's correct. That there's a frog-princess.

Everything is wonderful!

Children understand!

Even among adults...

...there are many children!

Miracles are not so rare. On any UFO, I will come to you.

In the white snow, I'll shout: I love you!

Subtitles: Altarwise Translation: LexFerenda & Gemurmel

The End

I love you!