Original subtitles

Let's... let's be honest with ourselves.

I think we always knew this wasn't gonna work out.

Carter... I care about you.

Very much.

In a way, I do love you, and I don't want to hurt you.

Cutter, you have to say something.

We haven't stopped talking since the day we met.

Excuse me?

Are you?

You are?

You're Sophia Boone, wow.

Oh, my God.

We're like your biggest fans ever.

I've seen Sprawl like a million zillion times. I own the DVD.

That's really sweet. Thank you.

Can I get your autograph?

Oh yeah, sure.

Just write, to Todd, you're a pathetic faggot and I would never get with you.

Okay.

Thank you.

Listen.

I hear what you're saying.

You've got to hear me.

All I know is that I need a space.

I don't know what's going to happen.

Maybe eventually, who knows?

Nobody knows.

But right now, I need you to give me that space.

Fine.

I want to do that. I want to give you all the space you need. I just, I don't

want you to break up with me.

I have to go now.

Please, will you just, will you just, will you not leave me here like this?

Will you just stay and will you talk to me a little bit? I can't.

Mr. Jim, I can see the shape you're in.

Finger on your eyebrow and left hand on your hip.

Thinking that you're such a lady killer.

Think you're so slick.

Well, all right.

You have one unheard message. The following message has not been heard.

Hey, Tommy, I read your script last night.

You know, this is supposed to be premium softcore erotic.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I just came to get some.

I don't want some.

What are you... Are you crying?

Oh. A little.

I was just talking to my mom.

I think she's got big, big problems.

She hasn't exactly been firing at all cylinders.

Now she's convinced she's dying.

Is she sick?

I don't think so.

The doctor can't find anything wrong with her.

But hearing her sound so scared and helpless, I just... I felt so sorry for

her.

Anyway, I'm gonna fly out there in the next few days and deal with it.

I should go there.

Uh-huh.

I'll go to Michigan. I'll stay with Grandma.

What about your job?

I write softcore porn. You don't think I can do that for Michigan?

It doesn't really require tremendous effort. Besides, you know what? It'll

give me an opportunity to sit down and write that thing that I've been wanting

to write.

I'm at Genghis Khan.

Oh, that other thing.

About your high school?

Yeah, but don't say it like that because it sounds moronic.

It's just you've been saying you were gonna write that since you were 15.

Well, I think the only way I'm actually gonna do it is if I just get out of L.A.

for a while and get away from my life.

I wonder how Sophia's gonna feel about that.

I think she'll be thrilled. She just broke up with me.

Huh?

Sophia dumped me.

Are you kidding me?

When? Hour and a half ago. Been in traffic.

Maybe it's just a...

It's over. She's gone.

Oh, shit.

Shit! Would you please, would you hold it together?

Unbelievable. What a really horrible day. I just, I can't handle you acting

like this is the end of the world. I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry. It's just,

she's so beautiful. She's so funny and great.

Oh, Carter. Oh, God, I'm sorry.

Honey, how are you doing?

Are you all right?

Well... I know this is gonna sound like something that a mom has to say, but it

is true.

You will be all right.

I mean, these things, you know, take time.

Sometimes a really long time. I mean, I'm still trying to get over Rodney

Porchnik, and that was 12th grade.

Well, tell me that Rodney Porchnik story, please.

I'm just saying that you will be all right.

You know, women have always been drawn to you, Carter, ever since you were a

little boy.

And one day, when you least expect it, you're gonna meet a really great girl.

I don't want to meet a really great girl.

I don't want to meet anyone. I just want to be alone with my grandma.

Okay?

Maybe why?

It's Friday night.

You're going out with Gabe Foley, aren't you?

Shut up.

I have to live through you.

I'm too young to have a life of my own.

Yeah, we're still not talking about this.

Whatever. Be that way.

Lucy, I'm in the kitchen.

How was your day?

Fine. What's up?

Nothing.

Well, something, actually.

It's not a big deal, though.

Can it wait? Because there's some stuff I gotta get done.

I went to go see Dr. Bennett today.

Why?

I, um, found a nondescript kind of...

Lump in my breast oh My god,

we don't know anything yet.

It's very possible that it could be nothing and even if it is something It

still could it just could be nothing Mom

So your dad is going to take me over to Ann Arbor on Tuesday

morning for some tests

I should come with you. No.

No, I... I just want you to go to school, okay? We're not gonna treat this

like it's any kind of big deal until... Okay?

Yeah.

Lucy.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Really.

That's what I heard.

Understand where you come from.

That's what.

We understand where you come from.

That's what.

Hi, Grandma.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Grandma, Grandma, Grandma. It's me. It's Carter.

It's your grandson.

Agnes is my mother. Also, your daughter.

Hey.

I can't believe I'm still alive.

I can't believe I live to see your face again.

Thank you. I'm so glad, too. Although I probably wouldn't have put it that way.

Do you think I can come inside?

Through the door. Okay. Where's the cat?

Dead. Hmm.

Can you cook?

A little. I haven't eaten anything in three weeks.

Really? I had some pasta.

Okay.

When I'm dead.

You want this house?

I'm sure it's not that simple.

It's my house.

I can give it to whomever I choose.

Well, then thank you. I guess we'll see.

I'm starving.

Hello? Hey, I'm here.

Thank God.

Carter, this is the worst idea you have ever had.

I know, you've mentioned that several times.

Okay, I'm coming. No, you're not. Listen, let's just give it a try, okay?

I still think this could be exactly what I need right now.

Just kind of regroup and get... Someone is calling for you.

Hello? Carter, is that you?

Avi? I'm in the hills now.

My service sucks. How did you get this number?

You gave him the number? What is the matter with you? Now I have to do this.

I'll call you later.

I'm walking on the set. I've got a girl in this one. Push so hot and tight you

can fry an egg.

Beside the point. She has a problem. She doesn't understand, and frankly, neither

do I, why her character would have sex with a guy who's installing her DSL line

since she's already having an affair with her yoga instructor.

Um, because you said you wanted a scene where she seduces the guy who's

installing her DSL line?

Yeah. I don't think I can sell her that.

How about this, man? She really wants high-speed internet.

We're being funny now?

Listen, the character of Monica is a sexual compulsive, okay?

Because of a traumatic childhood, she's turned on by illicit sex. It's the only

way she can orgasm. That's it.

That's just a phase.

You get over it.

Grandma, would you get off the phone, please?

Where the hell are you? I'm out of town for a few days, okay? I can't talk right

now. I'll get you the new script by Monday or probably Tuesday.

Listen, I should have a scene.

Hey, buddy, my grandma's on the line.

Grandma,

I'm not abandoning you. I'm starting it three hours ago. Put on the alarm.

No, no, no, I wouldn't put on the alarm.

Why not?

Because I'll be right back.

Sorry? The dog's name is Bozo.

Oh, hey.

Hey, Bozo.

You must be from the nursing home. You taking care of Phyllis?

No, uh, she's actually my grandma.

Your grandmother, huh?

I didn't know she had children or grandchildren.

Yeah, we don't get out to visit too often, so...

Where are you from?

L.A.

Oh, Los Angeles.

I was there once, a long time ago.

Well, you know, it gets a bad rap.

Oh, I liked it. I liked it very much.

I'm Sarah.

Carter. Nice to meet you.

So, finally get to spend some time with your grandma, huh? That's nice.

Yeah. Looks like I may be staying for a while, actually.

See if we can't figure out some arrangement where I sort of take care of

her. Oh, she's a handful.

I know.

I'm kind of worried about it.

Well, don't be worried. No?

No, no, you'll be great.

All right, I appreciate that.

I guess I better get going before my daughter comes out and gives me that

look like I'm the most embarrassing person on earth.

I hate that look.

Probably because I used to give it to my mother.

It's a beautiful night.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess it is.

Hey, come see. I thought maybe... You want to sit in the front?

Hi. This is gonna sound weird, but my parents don't really know that I smoke,

so I was kind of worried if you could not.

You have a cigarette on you now?

No.

Maybe. Why?

Because I'm taking it hostage.

I love you so much.

This message is from the Kurtzman Radiology Center calling to confirm

Sarah Hardwick for her appointment tomorrow, Tuesday.

This may be the first time.

Davin runs a lazy finger around the rim of her wine glass, trying not to glance

at Trent's bulging crotch.

We've got to keep this professional.

Maybe we could just consider it one of our attorney-client privileges.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi, Phyllis.

How's it going?

That's Mrs.

Harding.

Hardwick.

Who gives a shit?

Okay, Grandma, I got it. Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah. Well, I made some cookies.

Oh, thank you so much.

You look a little bit like Fig Newtons.

That's right.

That's exactly what they are. I didn't so much as make them as wrap them in

plastic and put them on the plate because I wanted to give the illusion.

The truth is I'm a terrible baker.

Bake-ess.

Yeah, well, thank you so much anyways. My grandmother will just completely

devour these. It's pretty disturbing.

Well,

actually, it was an excuse to come over.

And this might sound a little bit weird, but it's a beautiful day.

and I have to walk the dog, and I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to...

Yeah, okay.

Great.

Really. Yeah, just give me one minute.

I'm on the plane on the way out here, and I turn on my computer, and I start

reading over these e-mails that I sent her, like 30 or more, maybe, over the

course of our relationship.

And not just short messages. I'm talking about long, involved love letters, like

desperately trying to be...

romantic and poetic, whatever.

And as embarrassing as it is, it's also, like, kind of the best

stuff I've ever written because it's got this naive idealism thing going on

where, like, ours is going to be one of the greatest love stories ever told, and

I'm writing it.

So I'm sitting there, and I'm reading these emails, and there's some

turbulence.

And I start to have this massive panic attack, like nothing I've ever had.

And I think it's happening because I cannot imagine ever feeling that way

about anybody else.

Ever again. Listen, I have never in my life received anything like the kind of

letters you wrote her.

Never written one either.

And you're lucky.

You're lucky in a way that has nothing to do with this particular girl.

But you already know that.

I must sound so young to you.

Yeah, well, screw you, pal.

Come on, I didn't... I didn't mean it like that.

I know what you meant.

You know, I pride myself on being this great listener, but whenever I, like,

meet somebody new, I find I'm doing all the talking.

What is that?

Maybe you're not really such a great listener.

Hmm?

Maybe you're not such a great listener.

No. No, that's not it. I'm a great listener.

Yeah, but see, that's the thing. I hear myself talking about it.

Nelson's career Lucy's painting like there are my own interests my own

accomplishments, but they're not and I find myself wondering Where am I? What

am I?

Let me ask you guys Like what is it exactly you do with your days?

You know that is just so predictable. There is this perception that You know,

I don't have a job or I'm not in school that I'm just sitting around doing

nothing which is just ridiculous Most days I don't have five seconds to

myself. I

I'm either driving somebody around or dealing with the house or making the

meals, not to mention I'm on, like, 15 boards. I'm sorry. I didn't think that.

Yeah, I know you did, but my family does.

You know?

I can feel them all just silently judging, especially Lucy.

No matter what I do, I... It's like I'm just disappointing to her.

Well, she's a teenager.

You're her mother. I mean, it'd be weird if she didn't feel that way, right?

I don't know. I'm sorry. I do think about it, and so I'm touchy, but maybe I

could be doing more. God, I just don't want to look back on my life and wonder

what part of it belonged to me.

Okay.

Yeah.

That was really nice. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, you're welcome.

I mean, it was really great to talk to you.

Yeah, all right. Okay.

Oh, shit.

What?

Shit. What?

I'm a last word freak.

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay, well, uh, I'm gonna go inside, and you just shout something to me as I'm

walking away.

Oh, that'd be great. Perfect. Great. Okay.

You're gonna be all right.

I don't know. Do you maybe want to do this again?

Like, tomorrow?

Or... Oh, I... Sorry, I can't tomorrow. I have an appointment.

Okay. Well, then, don't worry about it.

Wednesday. Yeah.

That'd be awesome.

I'll come by.

Okay. Well, I guess... Carter.

Awesome?

That's... Mom, I can't talk about this anymore. It's too retarded, and I really

do not want to fight with you right now.

It's not a fight. It's not a fight. It's not even a big deal. I'm just saying,

you're basically alone over there. You could just take him to a movie. Do you

have any idea how lame that would sound?

It would redefine lame, seriously.

Are you ready to make history?

She might have a point, sweetheart.

It could be a little awkward. Plus, I mean, what do we really know about this

guy? Forget it.

Just forget it. I thought maybe, maybe just do something nice for somebody

sometime, but I can't handle the two of you ganging up on me.

This is happening because we're all really scared.

So I'm going to say to you the same thing I said to her.

Whatever we find out tomorrow, we deal with it together.

Now, your daughter would like to apologize.

And she said if you really want her to, she'll go across the street right now

and ask Crazy's grandson out on a date.

He's a sweet kid. I feel bad for him.

He's... heartsick.

I'm going to be with you.

Every second

What

Well, I'm

just curious do you ever worry that you're gonna get stuck in one of those

positions

Yes, I do.

Ready for bed?

Did you know yoga increases circulation, promotes health and well-being, and also

reduces anxiety?

Yeah, I've read that.

Well, maybe you could try it.

Hey, you know what?

I'm sorry if I have...

Seemed a little bit distracted lately.

It's cool.

Did you get my pills?

Yeah, these are some pretty serious tranquilizers you got here. You sure

it's safe to be taking these all at once?

Love it

I'll

change the sheets I did

Who's Sophia?

How did you know about that?

You kind of mutter in your sleep.

What do you do in my room when I'm sleeping?

That's a really good question.

Well, she was my girlfriend.

And she doesn't want to be with me anymore.

She's off to... Oh.

Yeah, spectacular, actually.

That's so important.

I'm Sophia.

I am completely in love with you.

Hey, how you doing?

Yes. Do you know where you are?

Just regrouping.

I could give you a ride home if you want.

No, I'm good.

Gotta keep running.

Actually, you know what?

My mom and I kind of got into this fight the other night. I mean, it wasn't

really a fight. It was just... She wanted me to maybe ask you if you wanted

to go see a movie or something.

And I told her that would be really embarrassing and it would probably be

the last thing that you'd ever want to do. I mean, some creepy girl costing you

like you're some kind of charity.

This is really coming out wrong. Hey, parents, uh, they normally pretty cool

about letting you go out on a school night?

Not really.

Do you think if you were taking me to a movie, being... being neighborly, they

might make an exception?

I don't know.

All right.

Find out, get back to me.

What is it?

It's possible.

I think maybe my toilet might be stopped up.

Maybe?

What's the variable?

Water's running over the top.

The carpet's all wet.

Well, I'll take a look. First, I've just got to stop off in my room and kill

myself.

I think I should tell Paige alone.

I think it's less scary if it's coming from me and she sees that I'm fine.

I think you're right.

But I want you to tell Lucy.

It's better that way.

So he goes, find out, get back to me.

Which is not exactly like...

Whatever, but it definitely indicates that he might be, you know...

Interested? Yeah, kind of, right?

I mean, even if he were, it would still be the most awkward.

Do it.

You think?

Yeah, you have to do it. Anyone else? Like, seriously?

You have to take me with you.

All right, somebody better tell me what's going on here.

You know, I really want an ice cream. I've been thinking about that all day.

Who wants to come with me?

Wait, but what... You want me to go get ice cream?

You know what?

You two go ahead.

Lucy and I are gonna take Bozo for a walk. Come on.

It'll be good.

Does it hurt?

No The chemotherapy can be rough and they said there's nausea and it

could make me tired Are you scared

Yeah, sometimes not right now though

right now I feel pretty tough Don't look so tough

I took $20 from your purse.

Really? When?

A while ago.

Last February.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

I've been wanting to tell you for a while.

I felt bad about it.

Sorry. Well, just out of curiosity, what did you need $20 for?

Stupid.

I want to start saving money, you know, for the future.

But I didn't have any money, so I needed a foundation.

All right. Well, at least you're financially responsible.

I'm telling you because other than that, I don't have any secrets from you. It's

okay to keep some things to yourself, you know. Yeah, but I don't.

Like, I always tell you the truth.

Because you always tell me the truth, right?

Right?

If you say everything's going to be okay, I believe you and I know you're

telling the truth because you weren't lying to me.

Maybe to other people.

Maybe to Lucy or maybe to Dad, but not to me.

I just needed to know.

Are you gonna be okay?

Hey. What's going on?

You look good.

You look better than you did the other day.

So what was her name?

Sorry?

The girl you wrote all those letters to.

Oh, uh, Sophia.

Was she your first love?

Yeah. Well, there was somebody else in high school, but I used to have this

tendency to, like, project on the girls my fantasies of what I thought they

should be like, and it just didn't necessarily have anything to do with

what they were actually like. It would just take me forever to figure that out.

Usually four to five months.

But Sophia was different?

Yeah, well, you know... No, actually, that was pretty much

the same deal.

Come on.

There's something I want to show you.

This is exciting.

You know, where we're going, I feel like I'm going to run into the cast of

Deliverance.

Love it here.

I have this whole science fiction scenario worked out where I pretend that

since there's no evidence in modern life that I could walk out of these woods and

be in another time and a different place.

I love that.

My husband's been having an affair.

I found out a while ago, and I didn't do anything about it.

I told myself it's because of the girls, and...

I just have a very comfortable life. It's

very clean.

I'm good at that, you know?

And the thing is, he's really, really a decent guy. I mean, he's a good provider

and... Anyway, it's discreet, I guess.

I don't know.

That must sound pretty vacant to you.

I wouldn't even begin to know how to have an opinion about that.

The thing is, I just don't... I just don't love him.

Not like you love her. Not that kind of love where...

It hurts when it's good, especially when it's good, you know?

The further away I get from that and the more I talk to you, you know, I'm not so

sure that was real love either.

I really... I'd like just to give you a hug right now. Would that be weird?

Hey, Lucy can't know anything about Nelson's... Sarah.

Right.

Goes without saying.

You know, she asked me about taking you to a movie on a school night

specifically.

We usually don't let her go out on the weekdays.

That's... responsible.

I'm making an exception.

So I'm guessing tomorrow you probably have, uh... Yeah.

Another appointment.

Hey, look, uh...

I don't know when I'm going to be able to do this again.

It might be a couple days. It might be longer. I do have a lot of stuff coming

up.

But I actually have to go to the grocery store. I'll go.

Okay. Great, yeah.

I'd never been to New York before. I loved it. And I remember that I was

sitting alone in the American wing of the Met.

And I was in the room where they have all the paintings from the Hudson River

Valley School.

And I just suddenly had this feeling like I was awake.

Finally awake to my life like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

And then the other day, I'm sitting in the car outside of school waiting for

Paige. And she comes running out and she's telling me all about her day. And

she jumps in the car and I have that feeling again.

This is it. This is exactly where I'm supposed to be, right here with her.

I guess I just wish that I could have appreciated everything more.

I just want as many of those moments as I can possibly have, you know? I mean, I

want to go back to New York City and sit alone at the Met.

Probably more than anything, though, I wish I was the kind of person who would

just reach over and just eat that candy bar right here in the middle of the

store.

Well, then you should.

You know,

I think I should really tell you just a little bit about what's going on with

me. Okay, but then I want to tell you something.

Okay, you go first.

All right, well, I was just gonna say...

I think your husband's out of his mind.

What were you gonna say?

Nothing. It's really not very important.

First unheard message.

Hi, honey, it's me.

We need to talk about long-term plans, like when you're going to come home.

I'm... I don't think there's no... Uh,

sir?

What?

It's me.

I need to show you something.

It's pretty important.

You're all dressed up.

Yeah, for our date, remember?

Tonight, the cute guy from across the street.

Yeah, I just thought, you know, with everything going on, you might not want

to do that anymore.

Look, when I get freaked out about something in my life, I like to do

research on the internet.

Over the last couple of days, I've learned everything I possibly could

about this whole situation.

Really?

Most likely, they're going to want to do a mastectomy.

They say that can be pretty difficult on a woman's physique, so we're just going

to really have to watch out.

Be supportive.

Then, about three weeks later, she'll start chemo.

Did they actually say that yeah, but these days a lot of people do chemo and

definitely some radiation All this doesn't scare the shit out of you Well,

of course it does but since I'm not a breast surgeon or oncologist There's not

a whole hell of a lot that I can do about it tonight

So I

was thinking we could get something to eat first Carter you enjoy pizza You

have exquisite pizza.

Yeah, I'm into pizza.

You know, I was a lot like you when I was your age.

Very feminine?

Precocious.

I like her sometimes.

Are you kidding?

She's phenomenal.

I rented Sprawl on DVD.

Oh, and the other day I was reading online and she's been seen with Colin

Farrell.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Get a hold of yourself. You're a man.

You're not weak. You're not pathetic.

Deal with it and move on.

I know you.

I don't really know what you're talking about.

My worst fear is that I'm gonna come out of the stall after taking, like, a big

dump and the place is all rancid.

It's my, you know, my shit.

And I'm gonna know the other guy in the frickin' bathroom.

That's your worst fear?

It's up there.

just keeps getting better.

Hi.

I mean, hi.

You guys, like, meet in the bathroom or something?

You're Eric Watts.

Yeah. I guess I am. You work at the Orange Julius.

I love... I love the Orange Julius.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

I built the car.

The Camaro?

Impressive.

Trey, impressive.

Well, basically, I rebuilt it.

Restored it. Which costs a lot of money. Money I didn't exactly have.

Hence the orange Julius.

So, you're, like, what? Just all hanging out?

Oh, not exactly.

Lucy's mom.

Force them to take me to the movies because I've been feeling really

depressed lately Anyways, we should actually get going because they still

gotta buy me food and amuse me with witty anecdotes and impressions Well,

enjoy your movie and food.

It was nice to meet you Dude, whatever your name is

Okay, so what you tell me something no

We live in suburban Michigan.

We go to an average high school.

I want to hear about the football games. Why don't you tell me about, uh, like,

the garage bands and prom nights and John Hughes stuff?

Who?

I am very old.

You didn't go to high school?

Uh, well, I went to this private sort of, uh, progressive school in L.A., you

know?

Overprivileged, a lot of drugs.

I don't know. I, uh... Never really felt like it was that classic experience I

always wanted.

For instance, there was no football team.

Well, it's not exactly the 50s here, either.

I mean, it may not be fast lane L.A., but, you know, we're not completely

naive.

We do things.

Like what?

Yes, like what?

Yeah, like what?

Oh, let's see the Colin Farrell movie.

Ooh, let's not.

What is with you and that guy, anyway?

You had a great time, Paige.

Really? Absolutely.

I'm gonna go to sleep.

Okay.

Thanks for paying for everything tonight.

Yeah. Good night.

Carter?

Mm-hmm?

Will you marry me?

Yes.

This is my room.

Yeah.

Grab a sweater.

Why?

So, I think I'm dating the quarterback of the football team.

I don't know, does it get more breakfast club than that?

Are you serious?

We're not exactly dating.

We're just kind of hanging out a lot.

His name's Gabe.

And I'm into him. I just... I don't know.

Remember the guy at the mall?

Eric. That's his best friend. And they do everything together.

But they're totally different.

Gabe's... really confident.

Maybe even cocky.

Have you kissed him?

Yeah. Sort of.

Not really, though.

Define kissing.

Why not?

My dad's having an affair.

And the weird thing is that I'm really not mad at him.

I mean, I am, but... I'm mad at my mom.

Well, that doesn't seem fair.

I know.

I just... I can't end up like her.

I mean, she's cold and superficial.

I mean, she's obsessed with making her life look more like a crate and barrel

catalog.

I don't understand how she just doesn't scream every time she looks at herself,

and especially now.

Why are you telling me this?

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

Your mom said you're a painter?

I'm not a painter.

I just... I do it sometimes.

It kind of calms me down when I'm freaking out.

Helps me with my problem.

What's your problem?

I'm afraid to kiss Gabe Foley.

No, get over that. Trust me.

When you're in the moment with the right person, you'll be fine.

Hey, so my mom doesn't really know anything about my dad.

Right. Thanks.

Grandma.

Grandma, hey, you don't have to do that, okay? I'm gonna clean it all up as soon

as I put this on the stove.

Will you just let me?

What does that mean?

My cell phone?

Yes.

Okay, well, uh, it's probably my boss.

And it's likely he's calling to tell me I no longer have a job.

You're in swimming pool resurfacing.

What? I'm a writer.

What do you write?

I write children's books.

That's nice.

I love children.

That's not true. I used to.

Now I resent them.

But maybe I could read one of your books.

Well, you know, I didn't bring any here with me, so it's going to be kind of

difficult to do that. That's too bad. I would have loved to have read something

you wrote before I died.

Grandma, I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, okay, but you're not

dying.

It's just, it's not going to happen.

So, would you please, would you stop saying that?

You know what hospice is. Oh, God.

When you find my lifeless corpse, those are the people

you're supposed to call.

And they'll manage everything.

They'll put me in a big Ziploc bag and take me to the morgue.

I've requested incineration.

Okay. The number for hospice in Michigan is taped on the phone in the living

room. You want to see it?

I'll be the deli guy.

Oh, that's a relief. This soup you're making is disgusting.

No, thank you.

It's been four days. Not that I was keeping track. I just thought maybe... I

know Lucy told you.

I knew she would.

So I wouldn't have... Lucy did not tell me anything.

cancer tomorrow morning tomorrow morning i have to go to the hospital and they

have to

Look at me.

I want you to look at me.

I'm right here.

And I promise you, you're going to be all right.

You're going to be all right.

Pandy had thought he was in the perfect relationship.

Then, one day, the child he belonged to tossed him out on the street.

He'd been replaced by Colin Farrell.

Jesus! What's up? Hey, just go to my room. I'll be there in a minute. It's

the last one on the left. Who is...

Phyllis and I are about to have an abrupt conversation.

What's going on?

Grandma, let me explain something to you, okay? Look at me. Look at me.

Not okay for you to answer the front door when you're not wearing clothes. In

fact, it's not okay for you to do anything involving other people when

you're not dressed.

I'm... I'm wearing a sweater. Listen to me!

Get with the program. I'm looking out for your best interests here. Now, if

you want to give the illusion that you are not completely demented, you will

heed my advice on this, okay?

Put some pants on.

Put some pants on.

Let's never talk about that.

He's done.

How's your mom?

She's okay.

Um... She had her first chemotherapy yesterday, so she's kind of out of it.

Maybe you could visit her.

She isn't exactly indicated that she'd be too into that. It seemed like

maybe... Yeah, she's tired a lot.

It's good to see you.

So I came here because I kind of have a problem.

And you are...

That night on the field, you were really kind of helpful.

I was wondering if maybe you could... Yeah, absolutely.

Okay.

This is going to sound... Okay, whatever.

Apparently Gabe couldn't wait for me to find the courage to hook up with him, so

he decided to hook up with my best friend.

And it's been pretty...

Awful. At school.

I mean, drama.

A lot of meaningful looks across the parking lot.

Anyway, there's this party tonight, and I was supposed to go with him, and

now... I mean, I haven't talked to him.

Go. Really? Yeah, you have to go.

Look fantastic, be nice to everybody, have a great time. You do that, you're a

rock star.

Come with me.

It's not good.

carried away seriously i walk in with you you're older intelligent mysterious

i am mysterious i am totally kissing your ass right now come on

i mean it would be so cool and i would be indebted to you for like the rest

of time

It's just like a dream I have, but I'm naked, except for my sneakers.

Ladies and gentlemen, the amazingly beautiful Lucy Hardwick.

Tonight she's wearing a designer dress, and it's escorted by this guy.

Hey, how's it going?

Howard Portnick.

Sir, what did you say your name was? Howard.

Portnick. Portnick? And your father?

Rodney Portnick. Is he here?

He's in Bermuda, actually. I don't think I'd be having a party if he's here. No.

All right. Have fun, kids.

Hey, awesome.

Okay.

What was that?

I think, like, a million years ago, my mom had a thing for that guy's dad.

Oh, my God. You're here. That's so cool of you.

And you are?

I'm her best friend.

Yeah. I don't... Did I know you?

I don't know.

Oh, my gosh.

Madison's here.

Come on, I have so much I have to tell you.

Stop being crazy.

Whoa, that's all right.

Sure. Crazy.

I'll be around.

Whoa, you're here.

I'm a party animal.

So how are you doing?

I'm good.

Actually, I'm really good.

Oh, that's good.

Do you need someone to talk to?

Or maybe just... I don't know, but I'm pretty much around any time if

you... We gotta get there, I see.

There's some seniors from property. So hot and funny.

Wait.

This guy is a complete asshole.

He could have been the son of an asshole.

Mom, you're never going to believe where I'm standing right now.

Cutter, it's Sophia.

Are you there?

Yeah, hi.

Hey, how are you?

So much is happening, I don't even know where to start.

I just feel like my whole life is, like, crashing in.

I cry all the time, and you are the only person I can talk to when I'm flipping

out like this.

My best friend.

How are you?

Cutter? Are you the pathetic faggot trying to scam on Lucy?

I'm an actor.

You can step into my hood, slinging game at my girl, drinking my boy's brew, and

expect not to be scrapping directly?

What? Are you deaf and stupid?

I said.

Don't repeat all that, please. Okay, I think the answer to your question

depends on whether you have, like, a learning disability or you're just an

average moron.

Okay. Above average, moron.

Who's that faggot?

What the hell? This guy happens to be a good friend of mine. Complete asshole!

No, you don't.

I think we all understand that I am not the complete asshole in this situation.

It was your mistake.

Would you just shut up? Not me.

Not this guy.

Whatever his name is.

She's amazing.

She's beautiful and intelligent and amazing.

You blew it.

What's wrong with you? What's wrong with me?

How could I have let you drive my car?

You know, that's the first time in my entire life I've ever been punched.

How is it for you?

It hurt.

I'm not a fan.

There's something I want to tell you.

I've actually never talked about it out loud.

Okay.

Something happened when I was like 11.

I have this friend, Ethan.

We only did everything together.

It's not really weird to be friends with a boy when you're 11.

Anyway, um... I went to his house one day.

And we were just, like... hanging out, um, like, playing.

Doing... kid stuff.

I don't know.

I don't think his parents were home.

Was like truth or dare but like like a game I mean there

was clothes taken off I'm not really even sure like what

I Freaked out and then he freaked

out and he got really defensive saying like Like it was my fault that it went

that far

And then I see at school we must have told somebody because it was...

everyone... I was just so

humiliated.

Teachers got involved and parents were... Lucy, Lucy, that kind of thing,

that happens to kids all the time.

Really, it does, it's just it's not that big a deal.

Even though I know it feels that way.

Like afterwards, my mom and I, we never... talked about it at all.

And... I don't know, it just always seemed like... Like she was embarrassed.

That I was... Like a pervert or something. You're not a pervert. You

didn't do anything wrong.

Then how could she let me feel that way?

Well, you gotta stop blaming your mom.

Hating her for these... You gotta let it go.

If she was not there for me when I really needed her, why should I...

Because she might die.

You know, that was really hard for me to say.

I mean, what are you trying to do, scare me? Well, congratulations. I'm trying to

wake you up.

There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's

never, it's never, ever the thing you'd expect.

It is okay to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an

asshole.

Not when it comes to the people that really love you.

The people that need you.

So I guess we're done, right?

Yeah, we're done.

you're a strange part of me you're a preacher

Don't come any closer.

Please.

Okay.

I just wanted to know if you're alright.

Everything hurts.

It's my fault. I know that. I'm responsible.

But you need to hear this, Carter.

You are never going to touch my daughter again.

You can't see her. I'm sorry.

You have to go.

What is it with you?

I know.

I mean, if you don't want to talk to me, fine, whatever, but don't send Phyllis

out to make excuses for you, saying you're not in.

Where am I supposed to believe you went? I'm the only person you know here.

Right?

Pretty much.

It's been like a week.

I mean, five days, and... I don't know, I wanted to call you, I just didn't have

your cell phone number, and...

I don't know. I just thought that you were maybe, like, mad at me. Hey, I'm

not.

I'm mad at you.

You regret kissing me?

Lucy, I can't, okay? I can't see you anymore.

I just, I wasn't the guy.

Okay.

Then I guess, who is?

Actually, when you think about it, you're gonna find that you already know.

Mom.

I don't feel good.

I think I need to...

Nelson,

Hardwick's office.

Hi, this is Lucy. I need my dad.

Lucy, he's not here.

He stepped out to, um... Mom, I'm gonna try to stand up now, okay?

I'm going to get you to the hospital, but I need you to help me out. I can't

do this by myself.

You ready?

You're having what we call a neutropenic fever.

Your white blood cell count dropped too low. The body can't defend itself.

I spoke with Hoffman in Ann Arbor. We're going to put him on a drug called Nulas.

I'm so sorry. I wasn't...

What happened? Okay.

Can you grab a soda? Do you want anything?

No, I'm good.

What can I do? You're a cat.

Hello? Hey, Soph.

Sophia, it's me.

Carter. Who?

Carter.

Webb.

Oh, Carter, baby.

Hey, this is just a really bad time.

What?

Listen, I'm at this thing in Soho. And everybody's wasted.

And I'm wasted, too.

And it's New Year's Eve, you know?

No, it's not. It's October.

Try a little later, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, okay. No, I just, you know... I sort of... Hello?

What's wrong with you?

Can't seem to get it together.

26 years old.

I'm healthy. I'm capable. I've had every opportunity.

My friends are getting married and having kids, and I'm just so far away.

Why did you come here?

I've been trying to write this thing about growing up in L.A.

How long have you been trying?

Oh, 11 years, give or take.

Too long.

You're not trying hard enough.

You should think about working on something else.

Yeah, you're probably right.

I don't know. I had this idea that maybe I could figure something out and change

my life.

I was wrong.

Carter, I am 133 years old.

Oh, Grandma, that's impossible.

I have spent my life trying to figure out something.

And you know what?

It's not going well.

Hmm?

I didn't say anything.

I'll be dead soon.

And you'll still be alive.

So stop complaining.

Hey.

Everyone go.

Paige was falling asleep.

She wanted to stay, but... I just felt like being alone.

Okay.

We should talk.

I'm not really sure where we go from here.

Maybe you should start by telling me why you're mad at me.

It's hard to even... I mean, I've been at it for so long,

but I think I've probably been mad at you for pretty much everything and

anything.

You know, they did another CAT scan before the chemo last week.

They say that apparently the surgery was very successful.

There aren't any cancer cells that they can see, so all this shit that I have to

go through is to make sure.

But I know I'm gonna be alright.

And I didn't before.

I was really afraid.

I don't want to miss the part where I actually get to know you.

Listen, I... I don't know what happens next either. I don't know.

I'm just gonna keep loving you.

I'm gonna keep hoping you let me into your life.

And I will make mistakes, of course.

I'll always be there for you.

Okay, okay, I will.

You should be sleeping, Mom.

Dear Sarah, I've been trying to write this letter for a while now.

The kind you said you never received.

The kind I've been working on my whole life.

I remember being 13 years old, sitting in my room all night, listening to the

same song over and over.

I thought that if I could write something beautiful, something honest,

maybe I could make someone love me.

You've taken a lot for granted.

I never tried too hard if I was a void of responsibility.

I came here because I was running away.

I wanted to be alone.

Instead, I met you.

I met you and you weren't taking anything for granted.

I hope you get all the moments you deserve.

I hope you go back to New York and sit in a Met in the room with the paintings

of the Hudson River.

And I hope when you do, you take Lucy with you.

Because I know she would love it.

I'm sorry if I've made your life more complicated.

I'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of all, I'm sorry I never got the chance

to tell you.

No matter what happens next, I'll never be anything but grateful for every

moment I spent with you.

Even though I keep fumbling for the right words.

I really wanted to say was thank you.

of my children's books fat acts from l.a it's called candy the unlovable self

-destructive teddy bear you might really like it now there's no pictures yet

because yellow

You wrote me a letter.

It's freezing out here.

Seriously, I mean, I've heard things, but this is ridiculous.

It's, you know, it's depressing.

I'm going to miss you a little bit.

Good.

Do you maybe want to go for a walk or something?

I can't. I have to... I have to get back inside.

Okay.

I'll see you around.

Goodbye, Sarah.

Wait. You don't have to have the last word.

You're welcome.

Stumped? Yeah, I guess.

So close.

To what?

Being finished.

Well, what happened?

I just feel like it's missing something at the end.

Any ideas for me?

What's it about?

My grandmother. She passed away.

Sorry, was she wonderful?

Yeah, she was pretty wonderful.

Did you spend a lot of time with her?

Towards the end.

That's nice.

It's a really nice thing to be writing about.

No. I got no ideas.

That's so disappointing.

I know. It would have been so cool if I could have just come in and given you

that perfect negative genius and then just walked away. That's what any decent

waitress would have done.

Sorry. Settle for a refill.

Okay.

Thank Carter.

Janie, very nice to meet you.

You know, if you're not too busy, I was wondering, maybe do you want to read the

scene I'm working on?

It's really rough, but I don't know, I think I could use some fresh eyes.

Yeah, okay.

But after all, I'm a really tough critic.

Terrific.

Well, I can remember like it was only yesterday.

Love was young and foolish like a little child at play.

But oh, how lovers change are never dreamed of easily.

For now, I'm just a shadow.

Of the boy I used to be.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And when I write the book about my love, it will be about a man who was torn

in half. About his hope and ambition wasted through the years.

The pain will be written on every page and tears.

Oh, when I write. When I write the book. Oh, when I write the book about my love.

I was a fool to myself when I kept on running around.

And I fared a little better when I tried settling down.

It may be some magic moment.

Have I known but not for long.

For all too soon a magic.

was in a moment gone oh yeah yes and when i write the book

about my love it'll be a pop publication tougher than tough when i

get down on the pages all i missed it was still to the top of the

bestsellers list when i write when i write the book about my